


Can't Help Falling In Love (With You)

by stylescoalition



Series: Can't Help Falling In Love [2]
Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Age Difference, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Butt Plugs, Choking, Cock Rings, Collars, Comeplay, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Deepthroating, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Leashes, Lingerie, M/M, Manhandling, Mirror Sex, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Role Reversal, Romance, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Slapping, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unresolved Romantic Tension, the first one was plot with porn, this one is porn with plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:03:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 263,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylescoalition/pseuds/stylescoalition
Summary: Aleks and Brett have upgraded their friendship into the next stage - friends with benefits. The sex is 10/10 (would do again) and the both of them don’t really want to go to anybody else for their fix. It’s the perfect thing until they both decide they want a relationship. With each other.Of course, they’re totally oblivious.
Relationships: Brett Hundley/Aleksandr Vitalyevich Marchant
Series: Can't Help Falling In Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633909
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	1. 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101

**Author's Note:**

> Prefacing again: NONE of this is real. All of this is entirely fictional and in no way are they actually together.
> 
> First thing: You don't need to read the original fic to understand this fic, but it would enrich the reading experience!
> 
> So. My intention from the beginning was to have this and the previous fic all be one installment but A) that would be way too long and B) I was eager to get the first one out there into publication and I still stand by my decision to separate them. The tone of this fic is a bit different to the last but it still follows the same chronological timeline format and the goal of this fic is still seeing how exactly Aleks and Brett end up together.
> 
> This will be my last Cow Chop fanfiction. Granted, I wasn't writing anything else during the time of me writing this fanfiction lol but I wanted to say that officially. I really, really love HundarHD and appreciate their dynamic, and I genuinely love their interactions. They're very sweet and I just wanted to wrap up their story in my fanfiction, and I'm very happy with the result. Of course, I try to stay as true to real life as much as I can but I do take liberties here and there to fit the narrative of this fanfiction. This sequel is longer than the first by over 50,000 words but I assure you that the ride is worth it, and this is the best work I've ever written. I put my heart and soul into this and I'm very happy to get this out there for you guys! I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> Special shoutout to my friend and girlfriend, @ItsDaRiddler and @hungryimmortal on Twitter respectively for reading my fic and helping me edit and give their thoughts. They helped make this fic what it is.

**December 23rd, 2019**

Love is one of the most interesting phenomenons in the all encompassing universe.

One can express their love in myriads of ways but whichever way they choose to express it, even if it’s expressed in a completely new way, never before seen, the act will immediately be understood for what it is. Love is a universal language that transcends cultural differences and any other type of boundaries.

It is that which makes love so interesting.

Everybody can grasp the concept of love and it starts at birth. You reach out for the one who made you, desperate to feel their touch, desperate for their warmth, their compassion, their _love._

Even if you don’t quite understand what love is, it’s instinctual.

Love operates on a subconscious level. You could very well be expressing your love and not even know it but others will, and they understand exactly what’s going on. It’s why people will often tease their friends for realizing they like somebody - because they knew it all along.

In a way, love is akin to that of a virus, especially in the romantic sense.

Seeing the ends of your crushes eyes wrinkle when they laugh is enough to make your heart skip a beat, enough to make you envision all of the possibilities in which you two can _be._ When you’re away from them, even for a second, your heart drops and you feel so completely empty. You wake up and go to sleep with them on your mind but despite the effects of the virus, it still manages to be the most satisfying feeling in the world.

Because you remember the way you feel when they smile, like everything is right in the world. You remember the warmth of their touch, like nothing will hurt you.

You remember every single thing there is about them and you don’t want to imagine, not even for a second, what it’d be like to not be in love.

You would do anything for the person you’re in love with, including being with them in their darkest hours.

In their darkest hours, you want to be their brightest moon.

Brett’s seen Aleks in his darkest hours ever since the beginning of this year, every single hour having to do with this channel he’s worked so hard on, the channel he’d never leave behind for anything except for when he has to.

Their last videos have all been uploaded and now? It’s time to get rid of all of this shit in the warehouse, pack up shop, and start their lives _together._

This was the end.

But it was also the beginning.

There’s so much to look forward to. All Brett can think about as he looks around the Cow Chop warehouse after sending everyone home for the final time is the life he can have with Aleks when they move into their new home, located in the cheaper part of Los Angeles in the lovely suburbs, in a few months.

Almost two years they’ve been together.

And in that time, and the time before, Brett’s gotten to know Aleks better than anyone.

So when he sees Aleks just staring ahead into the open doors of his old office, when he sees the smallest downturn of his lips and the veil of gloom shrouding his face, Brett knows that Aleks still isn’t ready to say goodbye.

Unlike Aleks, Brett’s pretty done with Cow Chop. He has been for awhile, but he still gave it his all for the sake of the fans, for their employees, but especially Aleks.

Brett bites at his lip and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he walks up to his boyfriend. “Babe? You ready to go?”

Aleks huffs through his nose and his lips press together into a thin line. He just barely gives Brett a glance before he looks to Brett’s office with a sigh. “I could’ve done more,” he says quietly. “I could’ve done _better.”_

Brett’s heart aches for the love of his life. He knows Aleks has had complicated feelings for the channel since the start of the year but to hear it coming from him so directly has Brett wanting to tell Aleks he’s wrong, because he _is_ wrong.

“Angel,” he starts slowly, trying to keep his voice from sounding patronizing while keeping it gentle and assuring. Brett brings up a hand to hold onto Aleks’ upper arm and stares, wanting Aleks to see the conviction and certainty in his eyes. “Look at me, Aleks. Please?”

There’s a few seconds, but then Aleks looks to Brett with a sigh, and he brings up the hand from his other arm to rest over Brett’s and give it a squeeze.

_ Go ahead. _

“Aleksandr Marchant, you have done _everything,”_ Brett tells him. “And when I say everything, I mean _everything._ You’ve done so much more than anyone has ever asked of you, and nobody would’ve blamed you at all for just closing up shop the moment shit hit the fan, but you went above and beyond.” Brett rolls his lips back and then brings up his other hand to rest over Aleks’ cheek, running his thumb over the skin.

“I love you,” he whispers, and then his voice goes up a tone. “And you’re going to do bigger and better things. Less stressful things, and whatever it is, I’m going to be there with you every step of the way like I always have, just like you’ve always been there for me. We’re a team. We’ve _always_ been a team.”

“I love you too,” Aleks whispers back. “But I still wish this all didn’t have to end. I worked hard, and I thought it would be this great thing and then…” He sighs and runs the both of his hands back through his hair. “Then all of _this_ happens, and-”

“I think you and I need to sit down.”

Aleks’ shoulders slump and he gives no verbal response, but the look he sends Brett shows that he’s listening. He backs up against the wall before he slides down to sit, and Brett is quickly joining him.

Brett reaches over a hand to rest it on top Aleks’ knee and he looks up to the ceiling of their warehouse. “There were still some good moments,” Brett assures. “There were still good times, and it’s ending now, but we can appreciate what happened.”

“Like what?”

“Well, we wouldn’t be together if it wasn’t for Cow Chop.” Brett looks to Aleks with a grin and a knowing eyebrow.

“We would’ve found a way,” Aleks remarks. “Might’ve been longer though.”

“Who wants to wait though?” Brett scoffs. “I’m glad it all happened when it did.” He squints his eyes and looks back to the ceiling. “2017… that was a good year for you and I. And 2018. And 2019, believe it or not, though 2017 was the start of us.”

“I wanna go back to 2017,” Aleks says. “It was better then. Everyone was here then.”

“2017 has Asher. No thanks.”

Aleks chuckles, and that happy noise fills Brett’s heart with glee - it’s better than nothing. “I still wanna go back sometimes. Just to relive the start of us all over again.” He looks to Brett, his expression fond now. “I wanna talk about the start of us,” Aleks says quietly. “Every single thing that’s happened.”

“Aleks, _so much_ has happened.”

Aleks shrugs. “We have time now that…” He sighs. “Now that… all of _this_ isn’t a thing anymore.”

Love is doing anything to make the love of your life happy, because to see them smile, even if it’s for just a second, is the most special, most coveted gift in the world.

Aleks’ smile? That’s priceless.

Brett’s smile is fond as he gazes upon Aleks, probably longer than he should but honestly? He can never stare at Aleks for too long.

“Okay, one long love story coming right up. It all starts at PAX 2017…”

Eventually, he gets through the first half of the year, to the end of July when he and Aleks became friends with benefits, the first escalation in their relationship.

There’s still another half to that story though, and only when that is complete will the journey to Aleks’ coveted smile be completed also.

The other half of that story starts...

* * *

**August 7th, 2017**

“Wow, I just really love cleaning all of this up all by myself,” Brett says in monotone. “I love my new job as janitor of the Cow Chop warehouse.”

There’s another phenomena closely related to love. That, of course, is hate.

Brett really fucking hates that he’s the only one cleaning up after this whole spa video. It’s evident in the way he throws the water from the inflatable pool of the bathroom into the sink and the cursing under his breath.

First, Aleks sets fire to the warehouse. Then, Aleks floods the bathroom. What’s next in this list? Aleks encases the whole warehouse in dirt?

At the very least, Aleks is helping him clean up. It’s more than Brett can say for the others.

“I mean, you’re doing a good job,” Aleks offers as he runs his fingers back through his wet hair, dark brown roots with blonde frosted tips. “Better than anybody else.”

“Yeah, no, I agree that I’m doing a good job,” Brett says. “I don’t know if it’s a spectator sport all of a sudden.” He sighs and dumps more water into the sink before he looks up to the ceiling in thought. “Can somebody with a car or other immediate mode of transportation just go out to the store down the street and get like… I dunno, 2 regular mops and 2 buckets? That’s what we need.”

“Should Asher go out and get them?” Trevor suggests from behind the camera.

_ You can have him find his responsibilities too while he’s at it. _

“Actually?” Brett sets down the tub he was using to collect the water and sets it in the sink. “I got a better idea. How about you get Asher and Jakob to help clean up the mess in here, take out everything that isn’t supposed to be in here, like uh, all of the things that’ll electrocute them, and me and Aleks will go out and get the supplies.”

“Is that a two person job?” Trevor asks.

“No,” Brett answers. “But Aleks is the only one sort of helping me so he deserves a break too.” He reaches over to pat Aleks’ shoulder and gives it a good rub before he steps out of the door. “Yo dude, go put your shoes on and meet me in the car. Let’s blow this popsicle stand behind.”

It’s not that Brett doesn’t trust Asher to successfully procure mops and buckets. In fact, it has nothing to do with Asher at - okay, it has everything to do with Asher! He absolutely doesn’t trust Asher to successfully procure mops and buckets, especially with his driving record.

On the other side of things, it gives him some alone time with Aleks.

Not the kind of alone time they’ve recently been partaking with each other but the kind of alone time where he can just relax with Aleks and be away from the building stressors of work. Nothing puts Brett in a better mood than talking to Aleks about absolutely anything in the world and getting to stare at that gorgeous face with no deadlines or responsibilities looming over his head.

Brett does what he said he’d do and goes to wait in his car while Aleks gets himself somewhat presentable to run errands. He turns on his phone and notes the date of August 7th.

13 days later, and it’s still going strong.

_ Has it really almost been 2 weeks since we started fucking each other? _

Brett purses his lips and taps his thumb repeatedly against his phone as he stares off into the windshield in reflection over those 2 weeks.

He never thought he’d get that far with Aleks. The fact that they’ve even kissed each other at all are still moments he needs to replay, over and over, especially the first one...

_ Brett drums his hands against his thighs as he walks the few steps to Aleks to stand right in front of him, blowing out a breath. “It’s just one kiss,” Brett tells him. “What’s the worst that can happen?” _

_ Aleks swallows and his gaze dips down to Brett’s lips. He slowly licks along his own and breathes in deeply as he blinks his eyes upwards into Brett’s, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “So uh, how big should it be?” _

_ Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and cracks an inkling of a smile with a shrug. “We’ll see,” he mumbles loud enough for Aleks to hear, resting a hand on top his shoulder. “Just c’mere. Follow my lead.” _

One kiss was all it took.

That one kiss they shared on the second episode of their CCTV podcast was the start of an incredibly satisfying butterfly effect.

Close dancing in the clubs…

_ Aleks turns on his heel and steps backwards until he feels the line of Brett’s torso meeting with the curvature of his back, letting go of their hands so he can raise one up to wrap around the back of Brett’s neck from the front. He tilts his head to the side with a small grin as he slowly rolls his hips back and forth against Brett’s crotch, licking along his lips when he feels his natural bulge pressing into him. _

_ “When I say I like to get close,” Aleks says lowly, “this is what I mean.” _

_ “Didn’t think you meant it any other way,” Brett breathes as his hands lay themselves on Aleks’ hips, fingertips pressing through his white shirt to gently dig into his skin, “and I like to get close too, by the way.” _

_ “I can feel you,” Aleks breathes, “like… I can **feel** you, dude.” _

_ “Make you nervous?” Brett asks. “Need me to pull back?” _

_ “No.” Aleks shakes his head with a small chuckle and runs his teeth along his bottom lip. “Fuck no.” _

… drunken makeout sessions…

_ Brett lets go of Aleks’ hands so he can wrap his arms around his waist and he lowers his chest onto Aleks’, moaning softly at the shared body contact as he pulls Aleks up from the table. Aleks wraps an arm around Brett’s neck and threads the fingers of his other hand into the back of Brett’s hair under his hat, curling his fingers against the strands to give a good tug that forces Brett’s mouth open enough to accept Aleks’ greedy tongue. _

_ Aleks sighs through his nose and though he’s as close as he can be with Brett, he hitches closer in the chance that there’s a modicum of space that can still be filled and there was, and he moans when he completely closes the distance. Brett’s tongue pushes against Aleks’ before it circles around, Aleks’ tongue circles around his, and their tongues slide out of each other’s mouths so they can alternate in biting at each other’s lips, desperate to taste even more of each other. _

… a one night stand... 

_ Aleks actually manages a laugh, a stunted one, but the flash of his smile shows Brett the intentions. “You **are** the standard. Like,” he circles his hips around to the tip of Brett’s cock and then slams back down, causes the both of them to simultaneously groan, “I’ve been trying to find guys like you, big and strong and shit like that, and they’re good but they’re not you.” _

_ “And Geoff?” _

_ “He was close.” Aleks nods and glances up to Brett, darts his tongue out along his lips. “But he was never gonna be you.” _

_ Shaking his head, Brett chuckles. “Don’t say that,” he says. “I get any fucking harder and… god, I don’t even know, but you can not say things like that.” _

_ “Things like the truth?” Aleks grins and moves a hand up to Brett’s shoulder, threads the other one through his hair while he lowers himself more on Brett’s body. “Do you really not know how much I fucking want you? How much I’ve** been** wanting you?” _

_ “I remember what you told me when you were drunk,” Brett recounts, grits his teeth with a low groan as Aleks quickens his hips, which has the effect of intensifying his pleasure. “I made you realize you were into guys, you had a big crush on me, how can I fucking forget all of that? You know how hard it was for me to not just take you back,” Brett chuckles, “and fuck you stupid?” _

_ “Tell me, daddy,” Aleks purrs and presses his forehead onto Brett’s, wrings his hair tighter in his fingers. “Tell me how much you’ve been wanting to fuck me.” _

… and another one night stand, which evolved into, well, what they have now.

_ “I don’t wanna go,” Brett admits. “But I need to know what you’re looking for, Aleks.” _

_ “Like… what do you mean?” Aleks asks as his eyebrows furrow together. _

_ “Us,” Brett clarifies. “Is this like, just a one time thing or are we gonna do it a lot more, or…” he blinks a few times and licks along his lips as he looks down to Aleks’. “Like I said, what are you looking for?” _

_ “Just like, fucking around,” Aleks answers. “We can fuck each other, uh….” he rolls his lips back and looks down between them, narrows his eyes in quick thought before he gives Brett his attention. “But like, we can be exclusive.” _

_ “You wanna fuck each other but be exclusive?” Brett asks, raising his eyebrows. _

_ “I-It just makes sense, right?” Aleks swallows. “We’re both good at sex, and uh, this was awesome. Even more awesome than our first-” _

_ “Thank you.” _

_ “Yeah… and like, we live together so,” Aleks shrugs, “why not keep fucking each other until one of us wants more?” He swallows again and takes a deep breath. “Right?” _

Now? Aleks is his… sort of.

They’re not dating, unfortunately for Brett, but he wants as much of Aleks as Aleks will let him. If all he can do with Aleks is fuck him a whole bunch and remind him of how bomb his dick is, Brett will gladly take advantage of the opportunity.

And he has. Boy, has he.

Brett jolts in his seat when he hears hands slamming on the window of his door and when Brett looks over to see Aleks, he sighs with relief.

_ He’s so lucky I’d do anything for him. _

Aleks raises an eyebrow with a grin and points his fingers downwards, motioning for Brett to roll down the window and when Brett does, Aleks says, “I charge $100 for a blowjob. Actual penetration will be-”

“Shut the fuck up, dude,” Brett laughs and pushes at Aleks’ shoulder. “Get in here already.”

Aleks makes it around to the other side and hops in the passenger seat. As he buckles his seatbelt, he asks, “are you good though?” He looks up to Brett and relaxes in the seat. “You were tense in there.”

“What else is new?”

“Just chill, dude,” Aleks tells him. “It’s gonna get cleaned up, you know it is. It’s not a big deal.”

“It _will_ be cleaned up when we get these mops and buckets,” Brett says as he begins to reverse out of his spot.

“I’m telling you, by the time we get back, most of it will be cleaned. Or like…” Aleks shrugs and glances out his window before he gives Brett his attention again. “It’ll be clean enough to walk through, at least.”

Brett blows out a breath. “Better than nothing, I suppose.”

“You know what you need, my man?”

“Enlighten me with all your wisdom, Sir Aleks.”

Aleks grins and leans over to kiss Brett on the cheek and his grin turns into a fond smile when the corner of Brett’s lips turn up. “How do you feel now?”

“I actually do feel a bit better.” Brett rubs at his cheek. “Thanks.”

“They don’t call them friends with benefits for nothing, you know what I’m sayin?”

Right.

Friends with benefits.

That’s what they are.

That’s all they’ll ever be - unfortunately nothing more but fortunately nothing less.

This is a case of love acting subconsciously. In love, especially true love, all you want is for your beloved to be happy and you would never want to do a thing to ruin that. So as much as Brett wants more, and _god_ does he want more, Aleks’ happiness is his first priority and if Aleks isn’t happy, he’s failed.

Not that he isn’t happy as well! Brett’s definitely been happier and more satisfied since he and Aleks finally got around to fucking each other and their daily routine is a lot more interesting now...

* * *

**Rewind: August 3rd, 2017**

It’s the ass crack of dawn but Brett’s body is most attuned to the morning so it’s nothing he can’t handle. Whether he’s a morning person or not, he wakes up early to work out and that often gives him a great boost of energy to get him through the rest of the day.

Brett furrows his eyebrows down at his phone as he rereads the recipe for the strawberry vanilla protein shake. After another once over, he looks down into the shaker bottle his protein shake is in and compares that to the supposed end result.

He knows better than to trust the end result but this shake looks nothing like the picture at all, doesn’t even resemble it!

Brett hums lowly and narrows his eyes in suspicion before he screws the lid on the bottle and then he takes a cautious sip.

_ … it’s alright. _

Brett takes another sip and closes the cap before he shoves his phone into the pocket of his gym shorts. He hoists the strap of his gym bag over his shoulder and proceeds to make his way out of the kitchen but he stops when he hears footsteps from the stairs.

_ Sleeping beauty is awake earlier than usual. _

His heart skips a beat and a smile tickles the corner of his lips before he turns on his heel to walk back to the kitchen. He has a sudden craving for a protein bar, which conveniently arose the second he heard Aleks but that’s neither here nor there.

“Heading to the gym?” Aleks asks with a yawn as he runs a hand down his face.

“Just about, yeah,” Brett answers as he sets his things back down on the counter. “Gonna uh, grab a thing real quick.”

“What’s it like, being able to actually sleep and wake up at a reasonable time?” Aleks goes on to ask as he follows Brett into the kitchen. “I didn’t sleep at all last night, dude.”

“Slept fine with me the night before.” Brett looks to Aleks with a grin and a raised eyebrow before he opens the pantry door.

Aleks huffs a chuckle through his nose and smirks as he crosses his arms over the island counter. “We had fucking awesome sex and that never fails to make me tired.”

Brett closes the door after grabbing his protein bar and looks to Aleks with suspicion as he undoes the wrapper. “Good or bad thing?”

“Super good,” Aleks replies. “Being fucked so hard that I can only think about sleep afterwards? That’s fire, dawg.”

It’s not like Aleks is fucking some dude that only fucks in the missionary position with the lights off. He’s fucking _Brett_ and Brett takes great pride in his sexual abilities! He can be as rough or as gentle as Aleks wants and he’s willing to partake in whatever thing Aleks tells him. If Aleks wanted Brett to cover himself in peanut butter while he slathers himself in grape jelly so they can create the ultimate sandwich together, then… wait, he did that with James in a non sexual context. That kind of ruins the mystique a little bit… but of course, Brett would do it for him in a second!

Who is he to say no to somebody as attractive, and alluring, and radiant… and stunning, winsome, gorgeous, handsome, as Aleks? Christ, he can’t say no to somebody who is so_ beyond_ description , beyond any sort of words or phrases and…

_ “That’s why it’s so hard to categorize you or find the words to say,” Brett tells Aleks, “because you’re more than words could ever describe. They could make new words, new phrases, but it still won’t be enough.” Brett swallows and shakes his head again, shoulders slumping before he quietly tells Aleks, “it will never be enough.” _

There are no perfect set of words in the world to explain Aleks’ impeccable beauty. Out of the millions and millions of permutations, the worlds of ways to do so, not one can describe Aleks in the way Brett wants.

It’s actually much easier to show Aleks how incredibly beautiful he is, alone in the privacy of their home, away from wandering eyes and intrusive fans. So of course, Brett is going to give Aleks his all every single time they fuck. They’ve only been at it for a little over a week and they’re not fucking like rabbits or anything but Brett is a lot more consistent when it comes to Aleks, that’s for sure.

“You know,” Aleks says, “we could always get in a quick one before you leave for the gym.”

It’d be nice to fuck Aleks all the time but alas, Brett is an adult male with responsibilities.

Brett swallows down his bite and looks up to the ceiling, leaning back against the counter. “That’s tempting,” Brett admits. “But I can’t get distracted from working out. I’m supposed to leave soon anyways.”

“We’d still be working out,” Aleks remarks. “Just uh, with each other. In a much more interactive, much more fun way.”

“Aleks-”

“Listen, Brettzle Stick, here’s how it’s gonna go.” Aleks clears his throat and grabs the waistband of his boxers. “You’re gonna say no,” he says as he pulls the boxers down his legs, “and you’re gonna give all these reasons why it can’t happen but I’m gonna say a few words and just like that,” Aleks steps out of his boxers and snaps his fingers before he points to Brett with a grin, “you, my dude, are all mine.”

Brett’s eyes dip down on instinct to Aleks’ length but he slams them quickly shut and quickly chews away at his protein bar.

_ Don’t look it in the eyes! Or him!! _

“That’s not how it happens,” Brett says around his bite. “Go put your boxers back on and watch a Minecraft let’s play because I’m not gonna fuck you into sleep.”

“Hmmph,” Aleks mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches Brett actively avoid him. “Some daddy you are.”

“Aleks, stoooop, you know what that does to me,” Brett whines and shoves the rest of the bar into his mouth, ripping the wrapper completely off and balling it into a ball as he walks to the trash can on the other side of the kitchen, away from Aleks.

“Dad-”

“HUSH, DEMON,” is what Brett _would_ say if his mouth wasn’t so full but it is so it comes out in a mumbled mess. Either way, it succeeds in preventing Aleks from calling him that damned nickname. It’s so evil for him to use that nickname to get Brett to do his bidding… because it always works and he knows it!

The few moments of silence after Brett cuts Aleks off is tranquil. Brett thinks he’ll be able to finish off this protein bar and leave the house with a sense of accomplishment, knowing he’s able to evade Aleks’ advances, and he thinks that sense is going to wash over him right now when he hears Aleks say, “fine, we don’t have to fuck each other.”

Brett swallows down the rest of his bar. “I’m glad you see it my way,” he says as he turns to face Aleks with a smile, only for the smile to instantly fall when Aleks presses his body against his and tugs him forward by the waistband of his gym shorts.

“But,” Aleks whispers into his ear, “at least let me blow you.”

Damnit, he should’ve known Aleks was going to have another trick up his sleeve! He’s so insatiable, just never leaves Brett alone until he gets what he wants from him and admittedly, Brett is a willing participant to Aleks’ sexual whims but rest assured, he does try his absolute best to be a responsible adult that doesn’t always think with his dick. It’s just hard when it comes to Aleks.

Literally.

Brett breathes in deeply and looks off to the side, his eyes lidding shut and his lips rolling back between his teeth when Aleks’ lips begin to flutter against his neck. “At least like, fucking you would be an actual workout,” he says quietly.

Aleks shrugs. “Then fuck me instead.”

Brett shakes his head with a hum. “Mmm, no, I need to go to the gym.”

“Then a quick blowjob isn’t going to hurt.”

“But what’s the point of that if-”

“Okay, dude,” Aleks sighs and lets go of Brett’s neck to look him in the eyes once Brett’s eyes lid back open. “You’re going to be in me either way.”

Brett scoffs and grabs Aleks’ wrists. “I am not-”

“You are too,” Aleks argues as he tightens his hold on Brett’s shorts. “And we both know it. You would’ve just fucking left by now if you were that desperate to work out. You’re sticking around because you _want_ to give in.”

Brett opens his mouth to retort but when no words immediately leave his mouth, he licks his tongue along his teeth and then presses his lips tightly together. He huffs through his nose and looks down between them,_ am I seriously already hard?, _ and then looks back off to the side with a sigh.

“I’ll go grab the lube,” Brett mumbles, and he can’t help the small grin that lifts the corners of his lips when Aleks quickly lets go of his shorts to race to the dining table.

“Hell yeah, dude!” Aleks exclaims as he hops up onto the table, pressing his hands right on the surface and spreading his legs. “You get that lube! Show that and me who’s boss!”

Brett clears his throat and rolls his shoulders back, willing the smile off his face as he makes his way through the dining room, towards the stairs. “You’re still wrong!” he calls out.

“Show me how wrong you think I am with your _dick,”_ Aleks calls back out. “LESS TALKING, MORE LUBING.”

Brett gives Aleks a weird look from the stair railing before he shakes his head with a chuckle. “You’re fucking ridiculous,” he says aloud.

“No, dawg, I’m fucking you!”

The rush of adrenaline that surges through Brett’s veins at the verbal reminder hits him so quick that it makes him pause at the top of the staircase.

No longer is fucking Aleks a fantasy. Now it’s a normal part of their daily routine that can easily be slot into alongside breakfast or working out.

Brett kind of wants to laugh at how normal it’s becoming for them because despite the quick normalcy (it’s only been a week, after all) there’s still a surrealness that permeates his being whenever they get too close, because it’s _not_ too close, not anymore.

All of the things that Brett has ever thought about Aleks, that he thought was wrong, that he thought should never see the light of day… it’s his reality. What reality is telling Brett is that it was never as wrong as he thought, but rather an excuse that successfully hid deep seated fears of rejection.

That fear is still present, because god knows he’ll never ask Aleks out, but for what they have now? Brett’s pretty alright with it.

* * *

Aleks runs up to James’ desk and then hops right onto it, sliding a little bit along the top in the process. “Ay, what’s up, my dude?” he asks and while James turns his seat to face him, Aleks hisses a little in pain and rubs at his ass.

_ Fuck, he went at it hard. _

“What’s up with these?” James asks as he points to a spot by the column of his throat.

“These?” Aleks furrows his eyebrows and brings his hand up to the same spot, his eyes widening in realization at what he’s asking before he grins. “Ooh, yeah, _these.”_ Aleks chuckles lowly. “Got uh, a lil’ lucky this morning.”

James chuckles himself and shakes his head as he looks back to his screen. “So things are going pretty well between you guys then, I take it?”

_ “You know something?” Brett asks as he glances to Aleks. “This really is better than the gym.” And then he picks up the pace to brutally slam into Aleks and with a loud moan, he drops his face into Aleks’ neck and digs his nails bruisingly hard into his hips. _

_ Aleks grits his teeth together and slams his eyes shut when Brett begins to brutally slam into him, groaning loud with each one. “Fuuuck, don’t fucking stop!” he growls as he reaches his hands up to hold tightly onto the backs of Brett’s shoulders, his legs pressing against Brett’s sides. _

_ “Not gonna stop until I fill you up,” Brett breathes against his neck before he sinks his teeth into the skin to suck a hickey onto him, the first of a few. _

Aleks looks down to the ground and scratches at his cheek when he feels the heat rising to it. “Yeah, it’s been super cool,” he answers. “Like, everything’s basically the same, it’s just like, you know, we fuck sometimes.”

It’s been a little over a week since he and Brett started fucking and it’s super lit, yo.

Brett can fuck Aleks better than anybody else and he knows all the buttons to press to turn Aleks on, knows all the switches to flip that’ll turn Aleks from a cocky smart ass to a somewhat obedient and submissive bitch and Aleks fucking loves it.

It’s kind of weird, actually, because Aleks hates to submit to others in the bedroom but it just makes sense with Brett. With Brett, it isn’t degrading. It’s fun and there’s even a sort of peace that comes with allowing himself to be vulnerable with Brett, allowing himself to give up all that makes him, _him,_ just so he can be entirely _Brett’s._

… not that he is Brett’s. Not really, but uh, that’s cool! It’s supposed to be a fun arrangement and that’s what they agreed upon from the start! No strings attached sex and in return for Brett’s thick dick, he gets Aleks’ thick ass! It’s a match made in Heaven!

“Hmm, must be nice,” James says in just a bit of a strained tone.

Aleks crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Aren’t you and Lindsey-”

“There ain’t a me and Lindsey,” James sighs. “I mean, there _is_ but like… it’s just complicated.”

“How so?”

“Like, I’m pretty sure she likes me but she’s not making a move.”  
“But neither are you.”

James snaps his head over to look at Aleks and Aleks raises a pointed eyebrow, as if to say, _ you know I’m right. _

James’ lips press tightly together before he gives Aleks a shrug and a nod. _ You are. _

He then turns his attention back to the screen but he catches somebody walking in the corner of his vision and when he sees who it is, he pushes at Aleks’ leg.

“There’s your boyfriend,” James mumbles.

“Dude, he’s not my boyfriend,” Aleks tells him quietly as he turns his head to see Brett, wearing a red hat with “Make Ad Revenue Great Again” in white lettering and_ hey, that’s the hat I had made for him!! _

It looks so good on Brett too! The red hat goes so well with his tan skin, his dark hair, and he’s wearing the Cow Chop jersey too so he’s color matching as well and goodness, why does that jersey make his biceps bulge so much? The jersey looks like it just barely fits him too and Aleks bets he could easily tear it apart from how much Brett’s naturally built body stretches it.

Brett seems to walk by in slow motion and Aleks uses these slow, precious moments to catalog every beautiful feature about him. Granted he’s done it a few times before but he doesn’t mind refreshing his own memory. Aleks breathes in deeply, his shoulders rising before they slump on the exhale and even though Brett isn’t looking his way, Aleks has to smile at him.

_ Still can’t believe he’s fucking me now. _

His smile widens momentarily when Brett turns his head to make eye contact with him but Aleks forces it to soften so he doesn’t look like a total idiot. Aleks gives Brett a totally cool head nod and Brett chuckles as he returns it with equal cool fashion. Brett grabs the bill of his hat and opens his mouth, presumably to say something, but whatever he’s about to say is cut off as his eyesight moves to the side and he tilts his head in confusion.

Aleks tilts his head as well and furrows his eyebrows to mimic Brett’s expression, because whatever Brett is looking at has him seriously amused. He follows Brett’s eyesight and the new target of Brett’s eyes is Aleks’ hand, which James is now drawing a dick on.

“What the fuuuuuck, dude!” Aleks exclaims as he yanks his hand away, frowning down at the drawing.

James grins as he puts the cap back on the pen and he leans back in his seat to give Brett a head nod. “Sup, Brett?”

“Just grabbed all the mail,” Brett answers with a chuckle as he tips the bill of his hat again. “Aleks, yo, did you get me this hat?”

Aleks quickly gives Brett his attention and looks to Brett’s hat, the hat he got for him, and nods. “Uh, yeah,” he replies. “Why?”

“I like it.” Brett winks. “I like it a lot, it’s really cool.”

Aleks’ heart flutters in his chest and it flies high, pulls up the corners of his lips into a smile as he stutters out a “th-thanks, dude.”

_ “Th-thanks, dude,” _James mumbles behind him and he grunts when Aleks reaches his hand back to hit his shoulder.

“Hey, how about you order a pizza?” Brett tells him. “Get Ameci’s, I heard they came out with a hot Cheetos one. I’m curious.”

“Wanna make it a bit for some behind the scenes stuff?”

Brett grins and points to Aleks. “My man with a vision!” He then gives Aleks a thumbs up and a nod before he continues the way to his office. “Let me know when you’re about to order!”

_ I love when he calls me his man. _

Brett walks away in slow motion too and Aleks’ eyes naturally drift down to his ass… and there’s not much there but hey, he likes every single part of Brett. He just likes a few parts a lot more than others, like his penis.

James watches Brett leave in regular motion and then he looks up to Aleks, who’s still staring off into his office. Aleks looks to be in a completely different world and it’d be the perfect time to draw another dick on him but believe it or not, James is a good friend so he’ll wait until tomorrow to do that again.

For now, there’s a more pressing matter.

James gently pats Aleks’ knee to get his attention. “Aleks?”

“Hmm?” Aleks’ head snaps all around until he realizes the source of his name was James. “What’s up?”

“You guys are just fucking around, right?” James asks.

Aleks nods. “Yeah, that’s all it is.”

James bites at his bottom lip and looks off to Brett’s office. “You sure?”

Aleks blinks a few times and furrows his eyebrows, slightly scrunches his lips in a grimace as he hops off the desk. “Yeah, dude, I’m sure. I’m gonna go on Postmates and get this pizza, you want me to actually get anything for you?”

What the fuck? _ You sure, _ what the fuck does that fucking mean? Aleks is the one who said it was just fucking around in the first place so why wouldn’t he be sure! Haha, like, does James thinks he has feelings for Brett or something? Duuude, Aleks totally doesn’t have feelings for Brett. Nah, dude. He knows how Brett is about relationships in the workplace anyways…

_ “No dude, you don’t got an argument against it anymore,” Aleks chuckles. “You’re wrong.” _

_ Brett sighs and rolls his eyes. “Okay, I still think there needs to be some level of professionalism but… yeah, I guess it’s fine…” He purses his lips together then shrugs. “Most of it, anyways.” _

_ Aleks squints his eyes. “Most of it?” _

_ “I mean,” Brett lowers his arm to wrap it around Aleks’ waist and reaches his other hand up to tilt his baseball hat frontwards, “I won’t get in a relationship with a coworker. That’s my personal thing though.” _

_ Aleks rolls his lips back between his teeth and gnaws along the bottom as he looks out to the floor. He then lets go and presses his lips together, sitting up straight on the stool before he leans back against Brett’s arm. “Well uh,” he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck “good thing we’re uh, just fucking each other.” _

… so it doesn’t matter how Aleks feels. He and Brett are never going to date each other. Brett said it himself.

James shakes his head and holds up his hands as he swivels his chair to face his screen. “I’m good. You and Brett go do your own thing.”

_ More like we’re gonna do each other. Haha. Hahaha. Nothing else. _

Aleks traverses across the warehouse and towards Brett’s office, pushing the door open to step inside the very cozy, red lit room. “Yo, let’s get this pizza already.”

“Come here a second,” Brett says without looking from his computer.

Aleks takes out his phone as he easily walks over to Brett. “What’s up?” he asks while looking down at his screen.

“No, like, look at me.”

Aleks sighs through his nose and looks up to Brett but his eyes fall shut again when Brett places his lips onto his.

It’s such a short kiss and it’s nothing monumental, nowhere near the ones they share in actual privacy, but it holds just as much power as they do, still makes Aleks weak in the knees. He has to set his phone aside on Brett’s desk to fist his hands in the fabric of his jersey instead and he still clutches to Brett by the time they pull away.

Brett gives Aleks one last parting peck on the lips and then he relaxes back in his chair. Smiling at Aleks, he says, “figured a more personal thank you would do.”

“What are you thanking me for again?”

“The cool hat, for one,” Brett answers as he points to his hat.

“For one? There’s another?”

“Annnd the other is for the awesome sex this morning.” Brett winks. “Wouldn’t mind starting my days like that more,” he casually comments before he looks down to Aleks’ phone. “So you ready to film this bit? Are you gonna like, order from the place and get everybody to try this _super crazy_ hot Cheetos pizza? Because we’re Cow Chop and we’re _sooo crazy?”_

“Uh, yeah.” Aleks clears his throat and nods. “Yeah, pretty uh, pretty simple.”

Brett slides off his chair and that’s when Aleks finally lets go of his jersey, along with the feelings of warmth and comfort that holding onto Brett provided him. “Alright, sweet. Let’s roll out.”

Aleks picks up his phone and goes over to Brett’s doors, which must’ve closed behind him. He reaches his hand out to open them again but then Brett is already coming up behind him, resting a hand on the small of his back while he opens the door with his other hand and he guides Aleks out before he slides his hand off his back.

Aleks watches Brett go to Lindsey’s desk and he brings his free hand around to press on the small of his own back in an attempt to savor the warmth of Brett’s hand, like nothing will ever hurt him.

It’s funny, Aleks thinks, how the man responsible for the touches that leave him in a state of complete security is also responsible for leaving him with feelings that can never be requited, not in the way he wants.

But it doesn’t matter that Aleks likes Brett because nothing will ever happen between them.

All Aleks can do is focus on what they _are_ able to be and if the most they can be with each other is friends with benefits? Well, it’s better than nothing. As long as he doesn’t delude himself into thinking they’ll ever be more, it’s fine.

_ Everything is fine. Fine, fine, fine... as fine as Brett is. _

* * *

**Returning To: August 7th, 2017**

All things considered, Brett is pretty happy with their arrangement. It helps that Aleks wants them to exclusively fuck each other too. He feels kind of special.

“... annnd bada boom, bada bing!” Aleks sets the two mops in the cart and then claps his hands together. “We’re ready to clean this warehouse!”

“Goodie!” Brett gives Aleks two thumbs up. “Let’s head back!”

Finding the mops and buckets were simple enough as it was just a quick beeline to the aisle with the cleaning supplies. Brett actually finds it a miracle that they got it done so quickly because the last time he and Aleks came to the store for a specific thing, they looked through every aisle and still couldn’t find it and they had to bother a poor minimum wage employee to help their dumbasses out.

Apart from that one time, he and Aleks tend to make a great team together.

_ We’d be a great couple too- hahaha, maybe when Hell freezes over. _

“I mean, you and I are already at the store,” Aleks says. “Let’s get a few things while we’re here, kill two birds with one stone.”

“Is there anything you and I really need at the moment though?” Brett asks as he begins to push the cart again. “Everything at home is stocked up, the office is relatively fine-”

“Lube.”

“Excuse me?”

“Think about it, Brett.” Aleks holds out his hands and then spreads them apart, like he’s trying to show Brett a whole new world. “We’re in the kitchen… we’re getting hot and heavy-”

“This isn’t going to lead to you asking me to fuck you at a store, right?” Brett narrows his eyes.

“No. But now that you mention it-”

“No. Please continue.”

Aleks rolls his eyes but goes back to what he was originally saying. “Okay, I’m saying… we should have lube like, around the house. Lube in the bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, anywhere we can think of. It’ll be a lot easier than you having to go all the way up the stairs to grab some.”

Brett raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement and looks up to the ceiling of the store as he reflects on all the new possibilities this could bring them.

No more halting the momentum of their escalating foreplay to grab lube, not when Brett can so easily reach his hand out to grab the bottle so conveniently located in the couch cushions, or the cabinet drawer! Maybe a portable bottle too just to really cover all their bases.

“Soooo?” Aleks raises his eyebrows at Brett. “We gonna get some?”

Brett slams his hands down on the cart handle with a prompt nod. “Lube us up!”

“Hell yeah!”

They make it to that section with haste and Aleks grabs an abundance of bottles to throw into the cart. Brett bets they’ll get a few odd looks when it comes to check out time, all of the lube with the mops and such, and he kinda wishes they brought a camera along so they could do a behind the scenes bit...

… but that would sort of mean having to let all of their viewers know that he and Aleks are fucking each other. Just because he fantasizes about letting everybody know how much of a slut Aleks can be for him doesn’t mean he wants that to happen in actual practice.

“We’ll go through clearance real quick just to see what we can find there and then we can check out,” Aleks says as he walks to the front of the cart, grabbing the edge so he can help guide Brett along.

“What do you expect to find there?” Brett chuckles. “Expired energy drinks and failed diet supplements?”

“Deals!” Aleks exclaims. “You never know what you’re gonna find, dawg, you need to be frugal.”

“I’d say you living with me and fucking me is pretty frugal.”

“That’s more an us thing though, and I had to convince you on the second part.”

“Okay, but I’m the one that offered you the chance to live with me first. It’s an equal effort, dude.”

“Nobody likes a bragger, Brett.”

“What are you gonna do? Spank me?”

“Are you into that?”

Brett shrugs. “I could be. Never had it done to me.”

“We’ll get you to embrace that submissive side one day,” Aleks sighs as he walks forward to the clearance shelves to check out all it has to offer.

Brett isn’t opposed to being submissive with Aleks at all, nor bottoming. He actually thinks it’d be pretty fun but he’s never done anything like that before so he isn’t sure where to start. It’s not like it’s a burning need to do these things either so he’s content with dominating the fuck out of Aleks like he’s been doing.

Truth be told, he wouldn’t mind escalating that domination into an actual dom and sub kind of thing but they _just_ got around to fucking each other. It’ll probably be awhile until they dive more into that fun pool.

Aleks laughs as he picks up a snowglobe and he holds it up in Brett’s vision. “Yo, why the fuck do they have this in the summertime?” he asks as he twists and turns it.

“Well we definitely know why it’s on clearance,” Brett chuckles. “It’s kinda cute though.”

In the small snowglobe are two snowmen, holding hands with big smiles. In front of them, is charcoal laid out in the shape of a heart and when Aleks shakes the globe, the snow encases them in a flurry. Despite that, their smiles still shine bright and Brett finds it… pretty endearing.

“You know what, it is pretty cute.” Aleks smiles and turns the snowglobe so he can admire it from the front. “I miss the snow too.”

“Made a big mistake moving down to LA then.”

“Having no snow is worth getting to ride the fuck out of your dick though,” Aleks says as he places the snowglobe in the cart. “Wanna go check out?”

Such a crude statement is actually rather sentimental to Brett because it serves as another reminder as to what he and Aleks are now.

They’re not just friends but friends with _benefits_ and that doesn’t possess a romantic element at all, as much as Brett wishes it did, but it tells Brett that he and Aleks were able to be more with each other in the first place - that everything he was freaking out about turned out to mean absolutely nothing.

He can fuck Aleks’ sweet ass and the world isn’t going to end. Birds will still chirp, the sun will still shine, and LA will still have god awful traffic.

He looks Aleks up and down before his gaze settles on his face, a soft canvas that possesses such sharp features and every one of them steals Brett’s attention in their own way. When Aleks looks over to Brett and smiles at him, like everything is right in the world, Brett smiles back and says “yeah. We got all we need right here.”

Brett wishes they could be something more but who doesn’t want more out of life? Brett’s only going to be disappointed if he searches for more and more so he likes to settle for what he has now and right now, he and Aleks have a good thing going. If he wasn’t alright with just sex, then Brett wouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place.

He doesn’t want to imagine, not even for a second, what life would be like without Aleks. Whether they’re fucking like they are now or whether they’re just friends like before, he needs to be by Aleks’ side in some shape or form.

It’s just like Brett said - he has all he needs right here.


	2. Welcome To The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett have sex, as always. Cow Chop also goes to Joel Rubin’s house for a podcast and Aleks and Brett find themselves suddenly having to dodge questions about their escalating friendship.

**August 8th, 2017**

Aleks likes to be submissive for Brett.

Scratch that - he loves to be submissive for Brett, a lot, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t ever go back to his power bottom roots at all.

Aleks brings his hands behind him so he can grab onto Brett’s thick thighs and digs his nails roughly into the flesh for anchorage as he furiously begins to roll his hips back and forth on Brett’s thickness. He throws his head back with a loud moan at the sudden wave of pleasure that overcomes him with the change in pace and the moan shifts into a low grunt when Brett’s hands grab onto his sides, nails dragging along the fabric of his black tanktop, to help guide his movements.

“I’m uh, starting to believe you when you say you’re a power bottom.” Brett breathes out a laugh. “Fuck, you ride it so damn good.”

“Just because I happen to let you do whatever you want to me, more than others, doesn’t mean that ever stopped.” Aleks swipes his tongue along his lips in concentration and closes his eyes. “I can fucking take charge when I want.”

“Don’t forget, you still belong to me.”

Aleks huffs a chuckle through his nose and opens his eyes with a smirk. He looks down to Brett and takes a hand off his thigh so he can bring that forward to gently wrap around his throat, but does it hard enough to make it clear to Brett what their roles are in this moment. “You belong to me too. Say it.”

_ I’m the one in charge. _

“I-I belong to you,” Brett breathes out as he gazes up into Aleks’ eyes. “Always.”

“Damn right daddy belongs to me.” Aleks lets go of Brett’s throat and returns it to his thigh and he goes back to the quick pace as before, loud moans falling from his lips every so often at the continuous pleasure.

More often than not, Brett’s the one who takes the more dominant reins and Aleks is always happy to lie back and take it. If it were anybody else, Aleks wouldn’t even give them that chance but Brett’s like a fucking sex god so he’s earned that right to make Aleks his bitch.

Also, like right now, he can be submissive for Aleks if Aleks wants him to and that really makes it easy for Aleks to just give up everything he has for the man. Brett would do the same for him.

Brett’s been stressed too. Granted, he’s more stressed than not when it comes to work but Aleks figures taking charge of Brett for once will help clear his head.

Their friends with benefits arrangement is pretty simple. Excluding that one morning where Aleks had to convince Brett to fuck him, all they have to do is ask the other, _ “hey, you wanna fuck?” _ and that’s all there is to it. No convoluted games, just a few quick questions and they’re off. It’s especially easier at night (such as this one) because questions don’t even need to be asked. They just need to follow the other into their bedroom and it’s immediately understood what’s about to happen.

Aleks can feel the speed of his hips faltering and he bites down hard on his lips, wrinkles his eyes tightly shut as he tries to quicken the pace and keep it consistent and that works for a minute or two more but it falls back into a choppy rhythm again and with a huff, he stills his hips to a complete stop.

_ Maybe I should actually start working out again. _

But he doesn’t want Brett to think he stopped because he’s_ tired,_ that’s sooo unsexy, dude! So he takes his hands off Brett’s thighs to push up the hem of Brett’s black shirt, like that was what he was going for in the first place) and he rasps, “take this off.”

He’s got a _plan._

Brett grabs the hem of his shirt and slides it up and off his frame before he settles back on the bed. He looks up to watch Aleks’ eyes scan his naked, hairy torso, feels Aleks’ hands roaming over his skin, and with a grin, he asks, “like what you see?”

“A lot,” Aleks breathes.

Brett raises his eyebrows and brings his hands back up to Aleks’ tanktop to push at the hem of it. “You think you can do the same for daddy?” He looks up into Aleks’ eyes and slightly widens his own in a silent plea.

Aleks blinks up at Brett, reads the message in his gaze and understands it completely. Brett’s been so good for him tonight and he hasn’t tried to usurp Aleks’ slight authority on him, so maybe it’s time Aleks rewards him and gives him the chance to dominate. It’s totally not because his body can’t keep up his own movements.

Aleks grabs the hem of his tanktop and takes a bit of time pulling it off his frame before he carelessly tosses it to the side. Then he rises up from Brett’s cock so it slips out and turns his back to him before lowering himself onto his hands and knees. Aleks lowers his body entirely on the bed and spreads a leg, looks back to Brett with a moan as he brings his hand back to pull apart one of his asscheeks.

“Fuck me, daddy,” Aleks moans. “Fuck me like you own me.”

_ But you already do. _

“I can definitely do that, baby,” Brett breathes as he quickly makes it onto his knees to scoot behind Aleks, in between his legs. He grabs his length and slaps it a few times against Aleks’ ass with a groan. “Yeah, I can definitely do that.”

“Then do it, cause it looks like you’re just smacking your dick against my ass.”

“We gotta savor the moment, Aleks,” Brett tells him. “We gotta really-”

“Brett, if you don’t get your _fucking dick_ in me already-”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Brett chuckles. “I mean,” he clears his throat, “_daddy_ is sorry. Go ahead and cross your arms for me.”

Aleks crosses his arms on top the bed and watches as Brett’s hand enters his vision to grab the both of his wrists, effectively pinning him. Swallowing back a moan, he looks behind him to watch as Brett plants a hand on the thigh of his stretched out leg but the moan bubbles back up and escapes from his mouth in a loud cry as Brett slams back inside, skin slapping together, and he fucks Aleks harder and faster than Aleks could ever do by himself.

_ Maybe Brett should stick to being in charge all the time. _

Brett breathes hotly against Aleks’ ear before he presses a kiss right underneath, blows against the slight wetness. Aleks shivers and whines ever so quietly.

“How does it feel, baby?” Brett asks. “Feel so much better now that you got something filling you up, huh?”

“I do, daddy, and it’s good, it’s so good,” Aleks moans. “You always feel _so good.”_

“Yeah?” Brett’s nails press into his thigh and drags along the skin before he squeezes the skin hard in his grip, makes Aleks whine in pain. “Tell me something, what do you like more? Being in charge and telling me what to do or being daddy’s sexy little slut?”

“Th-That,” Aleks whimpers.

“That?” Brett laughs. “I don’t know what that means. What do you mean by _that?”_

“I like being daddy’s sexy little slut more,” Aleks admits in a moan as he rests his head on top the bed, closes his eyes. “S-So much more.”

“Now _that_ is more like it, my sexy little slut,” Brett purrs against his ear as he lets go of Aleks’ wrists. 

Aleks clasps and unclasps his fingers together in appreciation of the newfound freedom but it’s short lived because then, Brett uses that hand to pull him back by his hair, keeps his head thrown back as he begins to fuck him with all the strength he has and at this point, any shred of dominance Aleks was hoping to maintain is thrown into the abyss and he completely turns into what he should’ve been from the start.

_ Daddy’s sexy little slut. _

Being a power bottom was nice while it lasted though. It’s definitely not going to be the last time but christ, it really does feel better when Brett just fucks the shit out of him.

Aleks doesn’t have to do anything but lie there and moan, he doesn’t need to work his hips at all - lest Brett makes Aleks fuck himself on his dick… Aleks would actually argue with him about that. He might have a penchant for being submissive (to Brett!) but there’s still some things he draws a line on, such as that and begging.

Begging is easier if Aleks initiates it, he’s realized. It’s a much different story if he’s being told to do so, it holds the same annoyance as going to do something only for somebody to tell you to do that thing but it’s like, you were going to do that thing in the first place and now all your motivation is lost out of spite.

A few minutes more of harsh fucking and Aleks comes totally untouched with a loud cry, his load spilling onto the comforters. His hands loosen their grip on the comforter and he’s thankful when Brett’s hands loosen their grip too - it allows his head to rest on top the bed and gives him some moments to regain his breath. Aleks is content to stay here like this, all fucked out, while Brett continues to fuck him until he too reaches his climax but then Brett pulls out-

“Duuude, what the fuck!” Aleks exclaims, beginning to turn his head back but then Brett’s hand is back in his hair and he groans his disapproval when Brett pushes the side of his face down into the bed.

“I’m gonna come on you,” Brett tells him as he quickly jerks himself off. “Be a good boy and stay still.”

Aleks closes his eyes and crosses his arms together as he awaits the hot drops to land on his skin. At least it’s not on his face, right?

“Better clean that shit up,” Aleks mumbles to himself.

“What was that?” Brett raises his eyebrows and peers into the back of Aleks’ head. “You wanna tell daddy what that was?”

“I-I didn’t say anything,” Aleks stutters. “I promise.”

Brett shakes his head and closes his eyes. “You’re lying but I’m so fucking close I don’t care… fuck, I’m so close.”

A few moments later and Aleks feels the heat of Brett’s release dripping onto his ass and his lower back and he grimaces at first when it drips down the crack of his ass into his hole, because it feels so weird and he feels degraded almost but much like the first time he sucked off and swallowed Brett, this all becomes… strangely hot.

Like sure, somebody is still getting off on him but that somebody is _Brett._

Everything’s always different with Brett. With Brett, it’s opposite world. Everything that shouldn’t be hot is hot with Brett.

Aleks hates to submit to anybody else but with Brett, he prefers that to being dominant. He’s somewhat guarded in public among friends, even with his best friend, James, but with Brett, he can relax and be vulnerable and Brett won’t make fun of him at all.

That was one of the things, among many, that made him realize he never stopped liking Brett after all.

Brett lets go of his softening cock and looks down to Aleks’ ass, narrowing his eyes on the come dripping against his hole before he lowers himself on the bed. He spreads Aleks’ asscheeks apart and leans forward to slowly lap the mess up with his tongue and when Aleks starts squirming, starts moaning, Brett’s nails dig into the flesh of his cheeks in an attempt to keep him still and it works for the most part.

It’s a bit disappointing when Brett licks up the mess there because he doesn’t start to rim him like Aleks thought but he does appreciate that Brett was willing to lick up his own come from the ass he just wrecked. A friend with benefits, indeed.

He continues to lie there while Brett grabs a tissue to dab at the mess everywhere else and when he sees the tissue fly over his head, into his vision, to land in the trash, Aleks turns onto his back to finally look at Brett.

“You good?” Brett asks as he looks down to Aleks.

Aleks grins and nods. “I’m great, thanks for asking.”

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and gives a thumbs up. “Me too. Another uh, _ muy bueno _ sexcapade.”

“You can totally come on me again, by the way,” Aleks tells him as he makes it onto his knees. “Just not on my face.”

“Don’t worry, I know you hate having shit on your face,” Brett recounts as he plops down on the bed and crosses his arms behind his head on the pillow. “Well, we should both probably head to bed. We gotta wake up kinda early tomorrow to go to Joel’s.”

“Oh, for the podcast?”

“Mmhm.”

Aleks’ shoulders slump and he looks down in the space between his knees as he begins to pick at the threads of the comforter… and when he feels the stickiness of his own mess, he grimaces and reaches for the box of tissues on Brett’s nightstand.

Brett watches Aleks curiously as he takes his time with cleaning his mess and he shiftily looks side to side with a grin. “Do you… not like Joel?”

“I do,” Aleks replies. “He’s just... intimidating.”

Joel’s like a more feminine version of Brett and the only reason Aleks doesn’t find Brett intimidating anymore is because he knows him pretty well, but he doesn’t know Joel like he does Brett. He isn’t living with Joel like he is with Brett.

He isn’t _fucking_ Joel like he’s fucking Brett.

“Oh god,” Brett laughs and rests his head back against the pillow to look up at the ceiling. “This isn’t gonna be like the time you were afraid of Gavin, is it?” he asks as he looks back down to Aleks.

“No dude, I know Joel likes me,” Aleks explains. “And I wasn’t afraid of Gavin.”

He was just worried that Gavin didn’t like him and considering he was dating Geoff at the time, it’s reasonable for him to want his boyfriend’s best friend (at the time) to like him, right?

“Kind of were,” Brett argues.

“No.”

“Yeah.”

Aleks rolls his eyes. “Anyways, I’m not afraid of Joel. It’s just that… like…” he sighs and looks down to Brett. “Okay, so remember when I told you that I used to crush on you?”

“Why aren’t you still crushing on me, by the way?” Brett asks. “What made you stop?”

Well for one, he never stopped.

Two, he _thought_ he stopped because Brett was straight so he knew there was no point in crushing on a straight guy… but now it turns out that Brett is into dudes and Aleks was the one that made him realize it so everything that told Aleks that there couldn’t be a him and Brett were dashed away.

There still isn’t ever going to be a him and Brett but frustratingly, it doesn’t stop Aleks from crushing on him this time around.

Aleks swallows heavily and looks back down between his knees with a shrug. “Don’t know. But I’m pretty sure Joel knew and everytime we all meet back up, he says something about it.”

“When has that ever happened?”

“You don’t notice but I do,” Aleks says. “It’s not like, overt or anything, but it’s like… subtle enough that I know? Does that make sense?”

Joel is like Brett in that he knows the perfect way to be passive aggressive and he can go about it in the most subtle manner, more subtle than Brett can. It’s probably why they got along so well when they worked together at Machinima and why they’re still great friends to this day.

“It makes no sense at all,” Brett chuckles and sits up on his knees. “Not to me, anyways. Didn’t I tell you to stop thinking so hard about stuff?”

“But Brett-”

“Hush, things will be fine tomorrow,” Brett assures him as he holds out a hand. “Come here.”

Aleks’ lips purse over to one side as he reaches for Brett’s hand and he allows Brett to gently urge him forward so Brett can grab his hips. His lips turn upwards into a small smile when Brett kisses the corner of his lip and his eyes fall shut when Brett begins a trail of kisses along his jaw and neck.

Nothing calms Aleks down quite like Brett’s kisses.

“I doubt he knows,” Brett murmurs against his skin. “And if he did, he’s not gonna bring it up on our podcast, not unless we practically fed something like that to him.”

“You promise?” Aleks asks.

“Mmm, I promise.”

Brett’s right! Aleks needs to stop thinking so hard about it and it’s about time he finally takes Brett’s advice on that, for everything instead of select times! Joel’s not going to subtly hint at Aleks’ (not so) previous crush on him at all! He’s going to be a great host and he’s going to be entertaining, annnd it’s going to be a fun ol’ time!

Brett kisses back to the corner of Aleks’ lips before he fully pulls away to lie back down. “Guess you’re gonna head back to your bedroom now?” he asks.

They’re not gonna cuddle this time? That’s… uh, that’s fine. They always cuddle and sleep together when they decide to fuck late at night but it’s cool. Maybe the newness of the whole arrangement is wearing off on Brett and now he just wants to keep it strictly down to sex and that’s totally fine, that’s what Aleks would expect from an arrangement that’s all about sex. Cuddling was just a bonus.

A really fucking nice bonus that should elevate from being a DLC to a full blown feature but whatever.

Aleks blinks a few times and presses his fingers to the corner of his lips, the corner that Brett was kissing moments prior. “I uh, yeah, I guess I’ll head back,” Aleks answers quietly as he climbs off the bed. “I’ll just like, pick my clothes up from here in the morning, is that cool?”

“What? Oh, uh, yeah, that’s cool.” Brett nods and brings an arm out from under his head so he can drum his fingers against the bed while he stares at the back of Aleks. “Good night then.”

“Good night.” Aleks looks to the light switch and moves his hand on top before he looks to Brett. “Want me to turn the lights off for you?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Aleks turns the lights off and proceeds to leave the bedroom but then he hears Brett’s voice and he stops right in his tracks.

“Aleks, uh, are you sure you don’t wanna like…” Brett swallows and looks down to the comforter as he picks at the threads. “I dunno, uh, usually… well, we always cuddle a bit after we have sex, at least when we do it at night, so if you wanna like, cuddle with me right now or something, that’d be cool. But if you don’t, that’s cool too, uh, I just-"

“Yeah, dude.” Aleks beams and makes his way back to the bed. “Wrap me in those big, strong arms.”

Brett sighs with relief and beams back at Aleks as he holds open the covers for him. “You don’t gotta stay the whole time, just until you get tired-”

“Nah, we can sleep together.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Aleks slides into bed besides Brett and turns onto his side and when Brett presses the front of his body along his back, wraps an arm around his waist and rests his arm underneath Aleks’ head, Aleks can’t help the bright smile that lightens his face.

_ Wish it’d be like this all the time. _

“Go to sleep soon,” Brett mumbles into his ear. “So we’ll be rested for the podcast tomorrow.”

“Mmkay,” Aleks mumbles back as his eyes fall shut. “Good night, Brett.”

Brett smiles and brings his head over to leave a lingering kiss to Aleks’ cheek. Aleks thought he was pretty relaxed before but the kiss has him sinking into the bed, has his arms reaching down to hold the one wrapped around his waist and just like that, he feels more complete than he ever has been.

“Good night, Aleks,” Brett whispers before he rests his head back on the pillow so he can drift off into the land of sleep.

Aleks isn’t too far behind. It’s not the sex that leads him to sleep so well, but rather the feeling of being wrapped in those big, strong arms.

* * *

**August 9th, 2017**

Joel’s backyard is beautiful and houses many plants of varying heights and colors. His patio furniture is pristine and well kept and he even has a small tub on the end table for beer and champagne. It’s rather homely and Joel is a wonderful host that’s bringing up topics Aleks is actually interested in. Aleks almost forgets why he found Joel so intimidating in the first place.

“So Jacob,” Aleks says to their intern (totally different from one Jakob), “how old do you think Brett and Joel are?”

Jacob narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he looks back and forth between the two men. He rubs his chin rather studiously in thought before he sits up straight and says, with some slight uncertainty, “37 and 38?”

Aleks snorts and sits back against the bench. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks over to Brett for his reaction, biting down on his lips in anticipation.

Brett looks down at the patio with wide eyes and a big smile, devoid of all happiness, like the life has been sucked out of him to actually make him the age the intern said he was. “Oh my god,” Brett says. “I’m gonna fucking kill myself. Aleks, grab the nearest sharp object for me. Just to clarify though,” Brett says as he looks into the camera, “I’m 34. I’m closer to 30 than 40-”

“Dawg, relax,” Aleks assures him. “You’re still hot so who cares if somebody thinks you’re older?”

“How old are you, Aleks?” Joel asks. “24?”

“Turning 25 when September rolls around.”

“Brett, have you noticed that it’s all of these super young people who find you attractive? Like the 19 year olds in the story I was just telling?” Joel mentions as he glances to Brett before he looks to Aleks. “I’m curious, Aleks, what makes Brett so hot? You need to enlighten us.”

Joel is no longer a wonderful host and Aleks is back to being super intimidated by him.

“Yeah, I’m quite curious to hear it myself,” James says as he scoots forward in his chair to listen in.

“Yes, Aleks, stroke my ego and reassure me that I can still be hot in my crippling old age,” Brett sighs and rolls his head onto his shoulder as he looks to Aleks dreamily.

_ YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME. _

Aleks blinks a few times and gapes open mouthed at Brett, then Joel, then James, the camera, before he looks down to the patio. “Uh… kinda putting me on the hot seat-”

“It’s simple.” Joel shrugs. “What qualities about Brett do you find attractive?”

_ Everything, _ but Aleks can’t say that. It’s easy to describe how attractive somebody is but it’s much harder to do it in a way that doesn’t let everybody else know that you like said somebody. At some point, that explanation is going to go from superficial to sentimental and Aleks needs to keep it strictly superficial, much like this arrangement was supposed to be.

_ Everybody’s looking at you, just say one thing to buy time. _

“Uhh… his dick,” Aleks replies. He quirks a grin when he sees Brett choking on his drink out of the corner of his eye but that grin vanishes into nothingness when Joel just smiles, ever so politely, and starts batting his eyelashes.

“Isn’t there a rule on the podcast that says no memeing?” Joel asks.

Yes, a meme. That’s what it is. That’s what Aleks likes to do, haha, meme it up, 4/20 blaze it! He and Brett definitely aren’t fucking each other at all!!

“Yeah, dude,” Brett coughs. “You can’t meme like that.”

“Oh, my bad,” Aleks forces a chuckle and leans back against his seat as he looks up into the sky. “Okay, no memes… uh, I uh, never thought too hard about it?” He shrugs and looks back down to Joel, shaking his head. “Brett’s just like, badass handsome.”

“Like a daddy,” James adds.

“Yeah, like a-” Aleks presses his lips together and sends James a burning stare. “Mmm, no.”

James must really love this, being out of the ship spotlight for once. Aleks obviously doesn’t keep track of shipping popularity because he’s not like, a Tumblr blogger or anything, but he reads a few of the comments here and there and it seems like in every video, there’s always a few people that have something to say about him and Brett.

It’s annoying like it was with all the NovaHD comments but for entirely different reasons. They think (or joke) that he and Brett have something with each other and they do but it’s not the something Aleks wants. But if it’s just jokes about him and Brett fucking? Have the fuck at it because that shit is mad true, dawg.

“You know what, I’m glad you said that about me,” Brett mentions as he sits up on the couch. “Because fans really like to say that I’m your dad and if I was, you wouldn’t be making comments like that.”

“I mean, he could,” Trevor says from behind the camera. “It would just like, be kinda creepy.”

“Kinda creepy,” Joel repeats.

“... okay,_ really_ creepy.”

“Well, maybe the fans don’t mean it like that,” Joel says. “Maybe they mean it like, you know, you’re Aleks’_ daddy._ Like, it’s a ship thing.”

“We’ve been getting a lot of that recently,” Brett brings up. “Ever since we uploaded that video of Joe’s birthday from RTX like, last month, more comments about me and Aleks have been popping up.”

“I don’t think I saw that video,” Joel says. “What happened in it?”

Aleks and Brett share wary smiles and Aleks holds up his hands before he looks down at his legs._ This is on you, dude. _

Brett sighs and rolls his eyes to look up at the sky. “Well…”

_ Brett looks to the blonde girl, whose tits he just signed, and waggles the marker back and forth in his hands before saying, “I need this for just a few more minutes”, and then he drops to his knees. _

_ “Gonna sign more tits?” Aleks asks. “I’m sure there’s plenty - BRETT!” He exclaims when he feels the hot Texas air ghost over his ass, bringing a free hand down to hold up the front of his pants. _

_ Brett looks into the lens with a smirk, nodding to further acknowledge it before he looks to Aleks’ ass. He quickly signs his name on the cheek along with a lovely heart and then he gently spanks Aleks’ ass before he grabs the other cheek to give it a good jiggle. “Yeah, that’s how it’s done, baby!” _

“... and there was also…”

_ “Hey Joe, it’s Aleks,” Aleks introduces as he shifts around on Brett’s lap to get comfortable. “I love you too, probably more than Brett does- Brett, stop!” He laughs and slightly brings his head away when Brett hides his face into his neck to start kissing along it. “Breeett!” _

_ “Sorry, I can’t help myself.” Brett’s chuckle rumbles against Aleks’ neck. “Okay, sorry, Joe.” He hums and looks up into the camera. “Didn’t mean to steal Aleks away from you.” _

_ “But he kinda has to real soon, because we’re about to go back to our hotel room annnd suck each other’s dicks.” Aleks looks down to Brett and raises his eyebrows. “Right, Brett?” _

_ Brett winks and gives the camera a thumbs up. “Exactly.” _

_ Aleks smiles proudly and nods before the camera receives his attention again. “Love you, Joe! See ya tomorrow, bud!” _

“... annnd fans have kind of been rolling with it ever since,” Brett explains. “But more power to them, me and Aleks were kind of asking for it.”

“Plus that kiss you guys had, on that one CCTV?” James raises an eyebrow.

“Ooh, I remember that.” Joel smiles and clasps his hands together on top of the leg crossed over the leg. “You know, Brett, you were wanting to stir some drama with me and past companies but let’s stir this nice little pot of you and Aleks. Do you guys have a ship name?”

“HundarHD,” James answers for them. “Basically like me and Aleks, just replace Nova with Hundar.”

“Then let’s stir this HundarHD pot!” Joel claps his hands together.

“Hey, Joel, you didn’t finish that story with those girls,” Aleks brings up with a nervous laugh. “I thought it was really interesting.”

“Yeah, we didn’t even get to the good part!” Brett adds onto Aleks’ nervous laughter. “Joel, duuude, we should-”

“Nah, that’s boring compared to this.” Joel reaches forward for his drink and takes a sip, licking along his lips to savor the taste before he sets the glass back down. “And I think your fans would get a kick out of it too.”

“By the way,” James chimes in, “that part of the video was just what happened on camera-”

“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ONTO THIS?” Brett demands with another bout of nervous laughter. “Stop fueling the fire!”

“On camera? Ooh!” Joel looks from James to the incredibly gay duo of Aleks and Brett. “What exactly happened off camera between you two deviants?”

“Yo, why are you so interested in our sex life?” Aleks asks.

Joel widens his eyes and leans in. _“Our_ sex life?”

This podcast, much like Aleks’ love life, is quickly downspiralling.

“Oh my god,_ no.”_ Brett holds up his hands and shakes his head. “He didn’t mean it like that. No, let’s all relax,” he chuckles and points a finger at the camera as he looks into it. “Everybody that has just written up a reddit post about me and Aleks fucking each other, take your fingers off that submit button because I’m gonna go ahead and clear this all up right now.”

Oh thank god! Aleks is so glad that Brett is so much better at maintaining a sense of professionalism than him! He has a better time weaving himself out of tense situations like this, whereas Aleks will just stutter like an asshole and try to make a bad meme of it.

“Alright, awesome.” Joel nods. “So what happened off camera then?”

“We made out with each other a lot, that’s all,” Brett says as he waves both of his hands dismissively. “Nothing scandalous over here like you and everyone else were thinking.”

That’s… not exactly what Aleks had in mind when Brett said he was gonna clear it up but that works just as well! Aleks is just desperate to get the fuck out of this conversation already.

“We were like, real fucking drunk too,” Aleks adds.

“What he said.” Brett reaches his hand over to rest on top of Aleks’ shoulder and he gives it a gentle rub. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

Aleks visibly relaxes when Brett touches him and he subconsciously scoots closer to his side as Brett slumps against the back of the couch again. Brett’s hand slumps with him, down the back of Aleks’ shoulder, down the line of his spine, and presses on the small of his back before he crosses his arms behind his head.

Everything is fine once more.

“Making out is still pretty scandalous,” Joel reasons. “But I think it’s pretty common for close friends to do that when they’re drunk.”

“Yup, we’re just a lot closer now that Aleks lives with me,” Brett says. “Nothing really going on over here. Closest we’ll ever get to each other’s dicks are accidental peeks when one of us leaves the shower.” He shrugs and looks into the camera. “Sorry to ruin the dream, shippers, but you can keep writing your fic all you want, just as long as you don’t shove it in our face.”

Aleks’ eyes widen and he looks off to the side before he reaches to take a long sip from his glass.

_ Glad that all is over with. _

In a sense, Brett _is_ right. If you only look at the romantic side of the equation, there’s nothing going on. There will _never_ be anything going on between them there so Brett isn’t lying. Brett made it pretty clear his stance on that.

Being able to greatly maintain a sense of professionalism is cool and everything and Aleks really does envy Brett for that ability. In turn, he envies the fact that Brett isn’t experiencing the underlying feelings of bitterness that comes with an unrequited crush.

Brett’s worth it though. He’s worth every single second and Aleks doesn’t want to imagine an existence without him, whether they’re fucking or whether they aren’t.

Though he sure does know which fantastical existence he’d love to have right now.


	3. Running In The Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's another work day for Aleks and Brett, but work doesn't TOTALLY stop them from being more than friendly with each other. Ugh, who knew being professional could be so boring?

Apart from Joel’s sudden interrogation with Aleks, the rest of the podcast goes relatively smooth and it doesn’t get brought up again.

Just because it’s not brought up, however, doesn’t mean that Brett has let it go.

He kind of made it worse by not shutting it down when Joel initially asked as well, so Brett has an obligation to avenge Aleks - seriously, it all happened because Brett let Joel question him. Brett feels really bad but his age is a sore subject, okay!!

“Well it was cool to see all of you again, especially you, Aleks,” Joel announces as he stands up from the bench. “Always a fun time with you.”

“Yeah dude, uh, same,” Aleks mumbles while he scratches the nape of his neck.

“Before you guys go, do you want some cookies my wife made?” Joel asks. “She made like, a shitload yesterday, way too many, so we’re trying to offload-”

“COOKIES!” Trevor exclaims with a bright smile as he lowers the camera. “Brett, please!”

“Brett, he’s giving free cookies!” Lindsey cheers. “Say yes!”

“Breeett,” Aleks whines, “give us cookies!”

Holy shit.

Aleks is too cute.

Brett can never tell him that because he knows that Aleks likes to look and act cool but he really is the cutest fucking thing in the world. If he whined to Brett like that all the time, he’d always get his way… and he gets his way 90% of the time but that whining would bring it up to a solid 110%.

“Alright, looks like we’re all getting yummy cookies to fill our tum tums,” Brett says as he stands up from the bench and everybody cheers their approval.

“Brett, you can help me gather them up,” Joel says. “There’s a lot to choose from, we got chocolate chips, double chocolate chips, sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, snickerdoodles, though they’re heavy on the cinnamon - all sorts of cookies.”

_ Need to grab those snickerdoodles for Aleks. _

“You made the whole factory, got it.” Brett gives a thumbs up and begins to follow Joel but he feels a familiar warmth encasing his wrist and when he’s tugged back, looks behind him, he sees that the reason for that is Aleks.

“Get me the snickerdoodles,” Aleks tells him.

Brett smiles and brings his hand up to affectionately ruffle Aleks’ hair. “It was the first thing I thought of.”

Aleks smiles back at Brett as he lets him go and then he turns around to go back to the bench. Brett watches him for a few more seconds but goes back to follow Joel before his stare lingers too long for it to be considered friendly.

Of course, the way he sticks his dick in Aleks isn’t friendly at all but there’s still a few things Brett needs to watch out for.

He doesn’t want people to find out about the new aspect of his and Aleks’ friendship and it’s different when they’re doing gay stuff with each other for content but when they have to realistically talk about it on a podcast? That’s too real. No doubt people will look into it.

Brett was going to come inside with Joel whether he was asked to or not because he needs to ask Joel _what the hell_ was up with him interrogating Aleks and forcing that conversation. They made it out in one piece but at the expense of letting fans know they made out with each other.

A lot.

_ Why did I have to say a lot? I could’ve just left it at ‘we made out’. _

Brett slides the glass doors shut before he makes the few steps to the counter. “So uh, Joel, you kinda made Aleks nervous during the podcast.”

“How so?” Joel asks casually as he brings over a few colored tupperware tubs.

“Telling Aleks to explain why he finds me attractive?” Brett chuckles. “You really did put him on the hot seat.”

“Ohhh. That.”

“Yeeeeah…” Brett smacks his lips together. “So uh, Aleks is kinda convinced that you think he likes me and it sort of intimidates him so when you ask him that, like, it’s gonna make him nervous but you don’t think that, do you?

“No.” Joel shakes his head. “Not anymore, but back then? He definitely liked you.”

“Okay, good!” Brett smiles and nods. “I knew…” He blinks a few times before he shakes his head and narrows his eyes. “What makes you think Aleks used to like me?”

Joel wouldn’t be wrong but Aleks isn’t here to defend his dignity so Brett has to do it for him. He has to divert any sort of suspicion that Aleks liked him at all and you know what, why doesn’t he like Brett anymore? He didn’t tell Brett why last night and it kind of makes him wonder, like… did he do something to turn Aleks off? Did Aleks just wake up one day and look at Brett and think _ “his receding hairline isn’t as hot as I thought it was”? _

But then Aleks wouldn’t be letting Brett fuck him. However, it still begs the question… what changed?

_ What did I do to make him not like me? _

Is it for the same reasons a small number of people don’t like Brett? According to those few people, he’s an insanely petty and condescending control freak. Brett doesn’t think he is in the slightest, and there’s a lot more people who would disagree with those negative things than to go with it, but those are definitely reasons to stop liking somebody.

… it couldn’t be those things. But if not those things, what could it be?

“Well back then, he’d always follow you around and look at you like a lost puppy everytime we met up,” Joel explains. “I mean, I actually thought it was cute but still, it was pretty obvious.”

Brett scoffs. “If it was so obvious, how come I didn’t notice?”

“Because you were straight,” Joel answers. “So you’re not gonna notice him like that.”

_ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. _

Brett rolls his lips back and widens his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest and he looks down to the countertop. “Yup… that’s me,” he mumbles.

One of these days, Brett needs to let everybody know that he’s into guys. It’d be as simple as writing a tweet or mentioning it casually in a video, maybe even the podcast, but what purpose would it serve? He’s not trying to date any other guys besides Aleks… and he’s not even trying to date Aleks anyways because he needs to be professional, Aleks wouldn’t like him anyways, and if he did like Brett, he would’ve just told Brett the second time they fucked and asked him out instead of proposing this friends with benefits thing.

But it’s obviously because he needs to be professional.

… also, their subreddit would be incredibly annoying about it. Moreso than usual.

“Hmm.” Joel narrows his eyes at the door before he looks down to the full tub. “He’s even looking at you like he did back then too.”

Brett clears his throat and rubs the nape of his neck as he slowly turns his head to look out the doors and that’s when he sees Aleks looking his way. Their eyes meet and Brett smiles, Aleks smiles back, and Brett has to wave at him, he can’t help himself. Aleks’ smile brightens and he chuckles to himself and Brett can’t hear it but his heart flutters anyways.

_ He’s so cute! I wanna pinch his cheeks!! _

Aleks turns to face James when James starts talking to him and that’s when Brett averts his gaze and begins to help Joel pack up the rest of the cookies, being sure to set aside the snickerdoodles especially for Aleks.

A thought manifests in Brett’s head and his mouth fully processes it before his mind does and he asks, “hey, Joel, you and your wife were friends with benefits before you started dating, right?”

“We were.”

“So how did you go from that to what you guys are now?”

Joel huffs a breath through his nose and crosses his arms on top of the tub of cookies. “It just uh… naturally happened,” he chuckles and smiles. “We went into it just having fun and there were no expectations but overtime, it became something that went way beyond physical. Suddenly, it wasn’t this superficial thing and we were doing things that couples were doing.”

“Like what?”

“The typical.” Joel shrugs. “We’d hold hands in public. I’d text her just to let her know I miss her and she’d do the same. After we’ve had sex, we’d cuddle and talk and then we’d fall asleep together and I remember waking up one morning, wishing we could do that all the time. And soon, she did too. I dunno, eventually it reached a point where it was just like… it makes more sense to date then to keep this arrangement going.”

Brett bites at his lip and places the lid over the tub of snickerdoodles before he holds it close to his chest. “I see that uh, it’s worked out pretty well for you so far,” he says quietly.

“Wouldn’t trade her for anybody else and wouldn’t change how we got together.” Joel smiles and looks over to Brett. “Why do you ask?”

Brett shrugs. “Just curious.”

He still doesn’t know what sparked him to ask that in the first place. It’s like his subconscious is trying to steer him towards a direction but Brett doesn’t know what that direction is and he wishes he did.

“Do you have one of those going on right now?” Joel asks. “Do you like her?”

Brett snorts at the pronoun and shakes his head. “Yeah uh, no, it’s not like that with me and him. It’ll never be like that. I was really just curious.”

“Him?”

“... no. I said them.”

“Mmhm.” Joel narrows his eyes in suspicion as he stacks the tubs on top of each other. “Well how’s that going so far?”

“It’s a lot more than what I was hoping for so I can’t complain,” Brett answers honestly. “Best sex I’ve had too.”

Joel nods. “Awesome. So how long have you and Aleks been doing this?”

_ HE KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME? _

“S-Sorry?” Brett blinks. “Why uh, why do you think uh, think it’s me and Aleks? Thought you said I’m straight?”

“I said you _were_ straight.” Joel gives him a knowing look. “Sexuality is very fluid.”

“It is. But it still isn’t Aleks,” Brett says.

“Who is it then?” Joel asks and crosses his arms over his chest.

Brett rolls his lips back in contemplation and he drums his fingers incessantly against his thigh as he looks down to the counter to find a suitable substitute that Joel could believe…. James? No, not James! They’re both tops, it would never work!

Actually, no, he could _totally_ top James. Hey, just because he’s into Aleks doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about fucking other guys. Aleks is just the one he wants to fuck and date the most.

What about… Trevor?

Brett purses his lips together and looks out the door at Trevor, who seems to be falling asleep on the bench.

_ No, Trevor’s a fetus compared to me… god, just say somebody’s name! Who’s the person Joel would least expect... _

Brett’s eyes widen in realization as he suddenly looks back to Joel. “Asher,” he finally says.

Joel blinks a few times and tilts his head. “Asher?”

Brett looks back and forth before he gives a resounding, “yes.”

“Isn’t that the one you were ranting to me about on the phone yesterday?”

Brett rolls his eyes and sighs. “Okay fine, it’s…”

_ Oh! I got it!! I’m a GENIUS. _

“It’s Lindsey,” Brett says quietly. “We’re uh, we’ve been doing this for a few weeks.”

Joel just stares at him blankly for a few moments and Brett gives the same blank stare in return. And they proceed to just stand there staring at each other.

And staring.

The house is intensely quiet and a fly is buzzing around contently but it does not break their concentration on each other. If it were a staring contest, the victor would be hard to decide.

Suddenly, Joel gives the brightest smile and claps his hands together and upon the loud noise, Brett is startled more awake than before. “I can see that!” Joel cheers. “More power to you two then! Take all of these tubs out to everyone, will you? Let me know if you need me back on a podcast again!”

Oh goodie, he bought it! Ha, it’s always a good day when he can outbest Joel! Joel can read people so much better than Brett can and his observation skills are impeccable. It’s impossible to slip anything past Joel but it seems like Brett managed that today! If he can shatter this impossibility, god knows what else Brett can do! Maybe him and Aleks dating won’t be impossible either!

_ Nah, that’ll always be impossible. At least I can dreeeam. And live in a world of pure imaginaaation... _

Brett takes all of the cookie tubs outside and hands them out one by one to everybody to balance the load before they begin the walk back to their car. Him and Aleks naturally sidle up by each other and they stay behind everybody else so nobody can watch them, so nobody can try to assume what they are with each other.

Aleks nudges Brett’s shoulder and when Brett turns his head towards him, Aleks whispers into his ear, “what did you and Joel talk about?”

Brett rolls his shoulders back and stands up straight. With an award winning smile, he moves his mouth by Aleks’ ear to quickly whisper, “Joel knows we’re fucking but the only reason he doesn’t know anymore is because I told him I was fucking Lindsey so just like, be aware of that in case Joel decides to joke about that the next time we all meet up because he most likely will and also you were right, he definitely knew you used to like me and _that_ is what you missed on another exciting episode on Days Of Our Lives.”

Aleks pulls his head away and narrows his eyes at Brett. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to put together the right words to respond to that long mess but the breath is knocked out of him when Brett shoves the tub of snickerdoodle cookies into his arms.

“Got you your special snickerdoodles!” Brett beams. “I didn’t forget! Feel better?”

Aleks holds the tub close to his chest and shrugs but then Brett rests a hand on the small of his back, presses it into his skin, and with a small smile, Aleks says, “I guess I feel a bit better now.”

And because nobody is watching them, it allows Brett that pleasure to get away with small touches like this. He can touch Aleks’ back or whisper sweet nothings into his ear, run his fingers back through his hair, and nobody is none the wiser.

Except Joel, who’s watching them from behind the glass doors of his house.

Joel’s eyes dip down to the hand on Aleks’ back and with a chuckle, he shakes his head. “I knew there was something going on between those two,” he says aloud to himself. “Him and Lindsey…” he scoffs. “Does he think I’m stupid?”

* * *

**August 14th, 2017**

Brett takes out a La Croix from the fridge and then he leans back against the counter to drink it while he watches Aleks and James film the newest Wrong Side of YouTube from afar.

_ Aleks looks good in all black. _

He purses his lips over to the side and looks up to the ceiling in thought as he takes another sip of his drink.

Aleks looks good in pretty much everything but black is definitely his color. It’s a bit ironic because Brett prefers the blonde on him, but then his hair isn’t even fully blonde right now - only the tips are frosted, and the roots are totally dark. Either way, his hair is always going to look good. _Aleks_ will always look good, though there are some things he looks hotter in than others.

Like thigh highs, for instance. Aleks originally wore them when he sexted Brett (for the very first time!) and he continued it in their second time together...

_ “What do you think?” Aleks asks as his own eyes dip down to watch his own hands splay out over the top of his thigh highs, right where they end, and his nails slowly drag down the fabric, then back up. He rolls his lips back and wets them before he lets go with a smack, allows his eyes to scan Brett’s body from the bottom and up before he makes eye contact with the older man. _

_ “What do I think?” Brett asks, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously?” _

_ “Do you like it, daddy?” Aleks asks hopefully as he runs his hands up by his crotch, lets his fingers graze along his length before one moves down to the crack of his ass. His fingers trail along the crack and brush over his hole and after exhaling a shuddering breath, he says, “I wore these for you, you know. I **only** wore these for you.” _

“God, I love thigh highs,” Brett thinks aloud. When he realizes he said it aloud, he immediately looks back and forth to make sure nobody else heard and when he confirms that he was safe all along, he takes a long drink and proceeds to make the way towards the sanctuary of his office.

“Ugh, you’re _so _annoying, dude,” Aleks sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “I need like, another fucking person here to help explain all these diss tracks to you.”

“I just thought that guy retired!” James exclaims. “There’s so much going-”

“Dude, keep the fuck up with YouTube,” Aleks tells him as he looks down from the ceiling and when he sees Brett, his eyes widen and he puts his hands around his mouth to yell, “BRETT! BRETT, GET OVER HERE!”

He’ll just think about those thigh highs later! Why think about Aleks when he can sit next to Aleks? Talk to Aleks? Touch Aleks?

… maybe not touch Aleks because they’re on camera but he can do the first two, at least!

Brett turns on his heel to walk over to the set and he carefully steps over the wires as to not knock over the lights (like Trevor just did a minute ago) and plops a seat right in the middle of Aleks and James. “Sup, dudes?” he asks before taking another sip of his drink.

“Why are your fucking biceps taking up this whole couch?” James mumbles as he nudges at Brett’s exposed biceps (thanks to his cut off Metallica shirt). “Gimme some room.”

Brett easily shimmies over to Aleks and he grins when Aleks rests a hand on his shoulder and says, “I know, Brett, that _you_ know what’s up with all these diss tracks. Tell James what’s up with this KSI dude.”

“Ohhhh shit, KSI?!” Brett exclaims as he sits up straight on the couch, sets his drink down on the floor. “Okay,” he pounds his fists together, “so…”

He proceeds to explain the history of the latest diss track drama to James with accurate precision, being sure to throw in a few funny bits here and there because they _are_ on camera, after all, they gotta stay entertaining those sweet Cow Chop viewers until the eventual demise, whenever that happens!

Aleks helps Brett in his explanation here and there to clarify on some details, which Brett appreciates because the only reason Brett even knows about all of this drama is because of… well, Aleks.

“... and then one of them leaked a Skype message that confirmed it was all a setup,” Brett finishes.

“Yeah, it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense,” Aleks adds on.

“Was that all?” Brett asks as he looks to Aleks. “Need me to go-”

“Nah, dude, take a nice lil’ seat and get comfortable,” Aleks tells him with a grin.

James clears his throat and looks over into his camera. “Aleks is holding Brett against his will, I just hope everybody knows that.”

“You talking shit, dawg?” Aleks asks as he snaps his head to look at James. “Do you-”

“Settle down, children,” Brett speaks up. “Let’s kiss and makeup, come on.”

Aleks and James huff and cross their arms over their chests before purposefully looking the other way. Brett purses his lips together and looks back and forth between the two before he brings up both of his hands to grab the backs of their shirts.

“Just one little peck on the cheek is all I’m asking for,” Brett requests. “And then we’ll move on with the show.”

Aleks and James look back to each other and their eyes roam all over the other’s face in contemplation. They both shrug Brett’s hand off their bodies and turn to face each other, both leaning in at the same time and taking turns with giving each other very platonic, quick pecks on the cheek.

It’s kind of cute.

They continue with the rest of the show as normal and Brett even gets in a search term. Aleks and James get along peacefully… or as peacefully as they can, anyways, and Brett helps to serve as the mediator between the two. It’s shaping up to be another great episode and in the back of Brett’s mind, he wonders why he and Aleks don’t do videos with each other more often.

It’s probably for the best because anytime he and Aleks are alone with each other, even somewhat, it’s hard not to just reach over and kiss him. He needs to be _professional,_ after all.

Somehow it all gets around to James bringing up the recent divorce of Chris Pratt and Anna Ferris so of course, they have to search what’s going on there. But a search for those two turns into him and Jennifer Lawrence instead, by Aleks’ volition, and they come across a video of these two trading insults with each other.

Aleks pauses the video and looks back and forth between Brett and James to ask, “aren’t they fucking cute together, dude?” He smiles and looks into the camera. “Personally, I love them.”

“You and Brett are cute together,” James mumbles into his mic, but Brett and Aleks still hear.

_ Why is he teasing me and Aleks like this so much lately? _

They both look over to James and narrow their eyes at him and when James finally feels their uncomfortable burning gazes, he turns his head to look at them and raises his eyebrows. “I didn’t say anything.”

Brett gives a weird grin before he looks to the screen and he forces a chuckle. “Are you the one writing all of the reddit comments about me and Aleks?” he asks before he plays the video again. _ “Brett and Aleks are totally dating,” _ Brett says in a dumb sounding voice, intending to mock, _ “look at this screencap I took of them staring into each other’s eyes that proves they’re in love!” _

No, he’s not being defensive at all! He just thinks it’s kind of funny how people will look at him and Aleks and assume they’re dating when these people don’t even know them.

If they wanna joke about them fucking each other, then they’d actually have some legs to stand on but to joke about them dating when they’re not friends at all? They’ll never date so why do these people think they _ so clearly are? _ What do these people (admittedly, only a few) think they see that Brett doesn’t? Why do they think Aleks likes Brett?

They watch the rest of the video and make their jokes until the very end. Aleks pauses the video and as he pats Brett’s chest, he looks to James and says, “James, we should do what they just did. Brett can mediate.”

“Yeah, alright.” James straightens up and looks over to Aleks. “You go first.”

“You are…” Aleks bites his lips in concentration. “You are not as funny as you used to be.”

“That’s true,” James confirms with a nod before he looks into the camera. “Because I care 10 times less.”

“Duuude, that’s not how it works!” Brett steps in. “You gotta insult Aleks next!”

“Oh, my bad,” James chuckles and looks down at the floor in thought. “Uh…” His fingers twiddle around and he opens and closes his mouth before he finally looks back to Aleks to deliver the ultimate diss - “you’re single.”

Brett grits his teeth together and hisses as he leans back into the couch, tilts his baseball cap frontwards and crosses his arms over his chest so he can try to sink away in these long moments of silence. In his head, he can hear that announcer from Pokemon Stadium going, _ “THAT. WAS. BRUTAL!!” _

But the announcer vanishes and his whole mind runs blank as his entire body warms up, from his fingers to his toes, and a weird surge of adrenaline flows through him when Aleks suddenly wraps the both of his arms around one of his and rests his head on top his shoulder.

_ … are we doing a bit? We’re doing a bit, GO ALONG WITH IT, GO GO GO. _

Brett breathes in to calm his nerves before he rests his head on top of Aleks’ and he looks over to James with raised eyebrows and a shrug. He has a very vague idea of where Aleks is going with this but he trusts him to keep it entertaining.

James blinks a few times and points his finger back and forth between the two. “Are… you single?”

Aleks smiles and bats his eyelashes before he looks up to Brett and Brett pulls his head back so he can look into those warm, dark brown eyes that harbor the unique effect of putting him at peace as well as making his heart race faster than it ever has before. His eyes flicker to Aleks’ lips and they would stare longer if everybody else wasn’t around but they are so everything that usually comes with being close to Aleks like this, like the lingering stares and what have you, they have to be discarded.

Despite that, Brett’s head is still floating off into the clouds and he’s on top of the world like he would be if they were truly alone.

Aleks winks at Brett before he looks to James and says, “not single anymore”, and after a few more moments, Aleks laughs and lets go of Brett to then say, “alright, you can cut the video after that.”

“You guys should’ve kissed,” Asher says. “Really sell it, you know?”

_ The first great idea he’s ever had and probably his last. _

“Yeah, you guys totally pussied out,” Trevor says as he lowers his camera. “That’d only be like, what, the 89th time you’ve guys kissed? What’s one more gonna hurt?”

“I agree,” James says as he crosses his arms behind his head, kicks a leg up on the ottoman. “We could always do it over again though.”

_ Yes!! _

“Don’t we gotta go see Sugar Pine 7 soon?” Aleks asks as he looks to Brett. “I think the bit is fine without that kiss anyways.”

_ … or not. _

“Uh, yeah.” Brett nods. “We gotta film a CCTV there, do a short video with them, annnd we have a meeting with Rooster Teeth there as well.”

On second thought, it’s best they don’t kiss each other. Just because Brett wants to find any excuse there is to kiss Aleks doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good idea, especially if they’re working. _Professional!_ He needs to be **professional!** Kissing Aleks on camera is _**not professional!**_

Aleks is so smart, saying that they don’t need to kiss! It makes them seem not eager at all, even though they definitely are! Brilliant.

Boy, oh boy. Life and Brett’s dick has never been so hard ever since he started fucking Aleks. It’s also been incredibly rewarding but he’s had so much more conflicting thoughts and ideals and he wishes it could be a bit more simple.

But if Brett wanted simple, he would have never agreed to this in the first place.

* * *

Another podcast, another opportunity to jokingly expose Rooster Teeth for the money hungry company they are!

Today’s offender? Rooster Teeth not making do on their word to screen the Captain America video Cow Chop did before the actual Captain America movie at the Alamo Drafthouse, which was a pretty tall order to begin with so everybody understandably didn’t have high hopes but James was really looking forward to it.

“No offense, but I’d be kinda triggered if I went to see Avengers 2 and some fucking idiot’s YouTube video was playing before the movie,” Brett explains as he tries to play devil’s advocate.

“But that’s what always happens!” James exclaims. “That’s what the Alamo Drafthouse does!”

“Ew.” Brett wrinkles his face and looks to Aleks for confirmation. “Do they do that?”

“It’s like, part of their charm,” Aleks answers. “They do terrible skits all the time.”

Brett looks into the camera and says with the utmost confidence, “Alamo Drafthouse, you just lost my business. I’m sticking with the ArcLight. The last thing I want is to see crappy YouTube videos before I watch that sweet, big Blockbuster entertainment.”

“Hold up,” Aleks says as he leans forward in his chair to look at Brett through the window of his weird inflatable playhouse, “when’s the last time you actually went to ArcLight? I don’t think we’ve ever been there since I moved in.”

“Just because _we_ haven’t been there together doesn’t mean that _I_ haven’t been there at all.”

See, Brett’s a film student along with that English major he acquired for himself (maybe in a different world he’d be a film major instead) and he takes his movie viewing very seriously. Like, _intensely_ serious, and he doesn’t want to ruin everybody else’s good time because he’s critiquing shit nobody else gives a fuck about.

Besides, he _does_ have a life outside of Aleks. It’s not like his entire world revolves around Aleks and if it did, he’d go crazy knowing that fucking him is the most he’ll ever get with him so he needs these distractions. Brett needs to get engaged in things either by himself or with other friends, and he quite enjoys his friends. His friends don’t bombard him with questions about Aleks either.

Aleks has his own set of friends that he hangs out with as well and he hangs out with Trevor and Asher (for some reason) without Brett all the time! They don’t need to be around each other 24/7. That’d be unhealthy!

But it appears that Aleks doesn’t want to move on just yet.

“I can’t believe you’re going to places without me, dude,” Aleks says with a small grin to show he’s only teasing. “I thought we were friends.”

_ Friends with benefits. Hehehe. _

“You and your friends went to Universal CityWalk a few weeks ago without me!” Brett argues. “You _always_ go there and never invite me-”

“I would’ve invited you if you weren’t away in China and Australia!” Aleks argues back. “And you’ve been in LA longer than me, you’ve been there before and experienced all there is so I’m not gonna invite you to some touristy thing. But if you wanted to come, I would’ve definitely asked. Everything’s so much more fun with you, dude.”

_ Everything’s so much more fun with you. _

Brett breathes in deeply and he pokes his head back out of the window so he can smile over at Aleks and Aleks smiles back, raises his eyebrows in anticipation for what Brett’s about to say but Brett is kind of at a lost for words.

Aleks has said something like this before but he still thinks that of Brett, after all this time, and it makes Brett think that he’s doing _something_ right if Aleks isn’t sick of him yet. They’ve been living together uhhh, 4 and a half months? Huh. That’s actually not too long… maybe it is reasonable that Aleks isn’t sick of him yet.

With everything that’s happened with him and Aleks in these months, it feels like more time has passed, and in this short time, Brett’s feelings for Aleks have grown so much, beyond his control.

It’s all hitting him so fast and he hasn’t had proper time to get used to it all, to this notion that Aleks is now another day that keeps him breathing, another chance to take that’ll keep him dreaming about all the possibilities in which the two of them can _be,_ and he hasn’t gotten used to the fact that Aleks loves his company as much as he loves his.

When Brett settles back into reality, only a few moments have passed as opposed to minutes like he thought. He holds onto the edge of the window and clears his throat before he tells Aleks, “when I get back from Germany in these next few weeks, we’ll go do these things together, knock out two birds with one stone.”

Aleks scratches at his cheek and rests his hand over it but Brett still sees the tint of red poking from the spaces between his fingers_ , god, he’s so cute. _ Aleks glances down to the floor before he looks to Brett and replies, “sounds like a plan, my man.”

“September 1st is your birthday, right?” Brett asks. “Let’s do it then. It’ll be my birthday present to you.”

“Aww!” Anna chimes. “I wish I had a friend like you, willing to take me to flashy parks on a whim. Aleks, you’re like, real lucky.”

“Brett’s kind of my sugar daddy.” Aleks winks. “Right?”

_ KILL ME. PISS ON ME IN THE ARCTIC SO IT FREEZES AND IMPALES MY DUMB HEART AND KILLS ME. _

Brett smiles tightly and wags his finger at Aleks. “Mmm, you’re gonna get in trouble, saying things like that.”

Brett hates Aleks. But he likes him, a whole lot. But he also hates him for saying shit like that. But then he likes him for saying shit like that if it’s behind closed doors and he totally does this on purpose, see what Brett means by Aleks making his life and his dick so much harder!!

Brett doesn’t know how to make his life easier but he can at least calm his dick by sticking it in Aleks tonight. He’s going to destroy him for that little comment,_ or is that what he was hoping for? He’s a genius. _

The podcast is much more smooth than last week and Brett is thankful that nobody is interrogating him and Aleks. It’s just a good ol’ podcast between him, Aleks, James, and their friend, Anna. Anna’s the quietest member of Cow Chop and she’s also the most sane and responsible but Brett likes her most of all for her amazing work ethic. He wishes he could say the same for others.

One other person, anyways.

The podcast officially ends and everybody begins to put their equipment away and gather their things back up. When Brett comes out from the playhouse, he notices Cib and Steven’s faces smashing against the window of the door and Trevor is frowning right at them.

It sort of looks like Trevor would rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk than be here.

Brett can’t blame him.

Trevor looks to Brett pleadingly. “Do we need to talk to them?”

“You need to play nice with your cousins, Trevor,” Brett tells him. “They don’t have long on this earth.”

“Good. They can suffer.”

“Trevor, you listen to your dad and stop being a little shit!” Aleks tells him, pointing a finger his way as he walks to the door. “Your cousins love you!”

“If Brett’s dad, what does that make you?” Trevor asks. “Mom?”

Brett snorts and grins but when Aleks suddenly snaps his head towards his way to glare daggers into his soul, Brett presses his lips tightly together and any laughter he was going to let out is successfully held back. “Uh, no,” Brett says quietly. “I dunno what Aleks is.”

Aleks is many things. He’s Brett’s close friend. He’s Brett’s roommate. He’s Brett’s coworker… but he’s also Brett’s fuckbuddy. Brett’s good boy. Brett’s sexy little slut. Brett’s incredibly frustrating minx_ that doesn’t know when to stop teasing me!! _

Aleks opens the door and Brett’s eyes widen he hears Cib scream and he immediately latches onto Aleks’ side for safety, wrapping the both of his arms around one of Aleks’.

With a chuckle, Aleks looks down to Brett’s arms and moves his mouth by his ear to whisper, “you regret being here yet?”

“Not yet,” Brett mumbles. “Maybe in a few more minutes.”

Aleks breathes in deeply and looks around the room before he turns to face Brett and Brett lets go of Aleks’ arm in the process. “You parked the car far away in the parking lot, didn’t you?”

“Mmhm.”

Aleks grins and beckons Brett closer with a finger and when Brett steps closer again, Aleks rests his hands on his chest and leans in to whisper into his ear, “wanna go make out for a little bit?”

Brett’s eyebrows shoot to the top of his head as he looks all around the room with a smile.

Cib and Steven seem to be bothering Trevor about god knows what and James, Anna, and Lindsey, are watching the commotion in mixed amusement and horror, refusing to save Trevor from whatever mess he got himself in with the two. 

Making out with Aleks when they’re so close to their coworkers is rather risky… and they kind of have a job to do here…

… but also, he gets to makeout with Aleks.

He can pull Aleks onto his lap, run his hands up underneath his shirt, and explore his mouth all over again like the first time. He can listen to Aleks moan, he can feel Aleks squirm on his lap, and it’ll be so much better than just waiting in here until Sugar Pine gets their shit ready.

Plus, he and Aleks didn’t get to kiss earlier at the warehouse. Brett deserves this.

Brett pulls away from Aleks and looks to him with a nod before he makes his way to the door, Aleks following close behind. “Hey guys, me and Aleks are going to the car to grab something real quick. Don’t wait up.”

“Are you two, perhaps, leaving to engage in a battle of the tonsils?” Cib asks as he wildly waggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah, we’re gonna fuck each other too,” Aleks replies casually before he follows Brett out the door. “We’ll be back.”

It’s a smooth walk back to their car. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the breeze is comforting, a G-rated sight to a soon PG-13 activity.

Brett looks up into the sky and squints his eyes as he opens the back door for Aleks. “Lovely day, isn’t it?” he asks.

“It is quite beautiful today, more than it has been,” Aleks answers as he steps inside to sit at the far seat.

Brett follows in after and closes the door, making sure to lock it before he takes a seat himself. “It’s why I like it here in LA,” he says as he spreads his legs to show off the slight bulge in his crotch, rests a hand on top of it and brushes his thumb back and forth along the length. “Sunny days are common. Sun lasts uh, pretty much forever around here.”

“I feel you."

_ I’m gonna feel you in a second. _

Brett leans his head back against the seat and looks over to Aleks, raising his eyebrows for a moment and gently nodding his head upwards as he licks along his lips.

Aleks immediately takes the hint and grabs Brett’s shoulders to straddle his lap and the instant Aleks is sat on top of him is the same instant their lips meet and Brett moans into Aleks’ mouth. He slips his hands underneath Aleks’ shirt and presses his fingertips into his back before raking them upwards to mark that beautifully soft skin.

You know something? Being professional is so _boring_ sometimes.


	4. Taste Of A Higher Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small part of the Cow Chop fanbase notices how close Aleks and Brett are and Aleks tries to teach Brett not to get too defensive over it it.

Aleks clutches tightly onto the collar of Brett’s shirt and he presses hard into Brett’s mouth with a moan before he slides his tongue inside to explore Brett’s mouth, just like Brett had done with him.

Is it the smartest idea to kiss Brett in the parking lot of the Sugar Pine 7 offices? Not really, but it’s not like they’re fucking, though that could be hot. It's a shame Brett would never go for it - if he’s not going to fuck Aleks in the bathroom of a supermarket then he definitely won’t be fucking him in the parking lot of their partner channel, where there’s a heavy risk of being caught in action. They’ll get found out and Brett will be even _more_ defensive than usual.

Speaking of, Aleks really needs to talk to Brett about _that_ particular moment in their YouTube show earlier.

_ “Are you the one writing all of the reddit comments about me and Aleks?” Brett asks before he plays the video again. “ _ ** _Brett and Aleks are totally dating,”_ ** _ Brett says in a dumb sounding voice, “ _ ** _look at this screencap I took of them staring into each other’s eyes that proves they’re in love!”_ **

But he’ll save that for after they get done making out.

Brett always kisses him so good. He doesn’t kiss too hard and completely take over, nor does he kiss too soft that it’s as if Aleks is kissing nothing at all. He knows just what Aleks needs and can be whatever Aleks desires, but that’s pretty easy when all that Aleks desires is him.

His lips are soft and he tastes so _sweet,_ he always does, and right now, his hands wander over the canvas of Aleks’ body like it’s artwork to be treated with utmost care. It makes Aleks feel like he’s the only person in this monochromatic world.

In a world of monochrome, Brett is the technicolor dream that Aleks has always been searching for. All of the dull shades of gray blur together and fade into nothingness, with Brett shining front and center in multitudes of neon, and Aleks can bathe peacefully in the rainbow glow.

They pull away and both lick their lips to savor the other’s tastes before they press their foreheads together. Aleks smiles, brings a hand up to cup the side of Brett’s cheek, and he runs his thumb back and forth along his stubble. His smile widens when he feels the corner of Brett’s lips quirking up against his thumb.

“Thank you for that,” Brett tells him quietly.

“No, no, thank _you,”_ Aleks purrs before he leaves one more kiss and then he finally rolls off Brett’s lap. “We should do this more often.”

“I wouldn’t exactly be opposed,” Brett says as he reaches within his jeans to adjust his hard on. “I think the thrill of being caught made it uh, more explosive, for lack of a better term.”

“You like that thrill of being caught?”

“Don’t you, Mr. Fuck Me In A Public Bathroom?”

Aleks huffs a chuckle through his nose and raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement before he reaches within his jeans. “Got me there,” he mumbles. “But I was gonna say it’s interesting that you like it.”

“Interesting how?”

“Because you get kinda huffy when people talk about us.”

Brett shakes his head and looks up to the ceiling of the car. “I get huffy when _fans_ talk about us, like we’re dating and they know it for a fact.”

“Fair. But you got pretty defensive about it earlier.”

Brett chuckles lowly. “I wasn’t being defensive, I just think it’s funny how-”

“Dude, you can’t start by saying _ ‘I just think it’s funny how-’ _ without it being passive aggressive or somewhat defensive.”

Brett is the goddamn king of passive aggression. It’s actually admirable, but there are a few occasions where Aleks thinks he should tone it down and relax, and there’s an occasion or two where it blows up into something big. That’s never fun. If he did tone it down, maybe more people would understand where he’s coming from with his various complaints and wouldn’t view him as some demanding authority figure.

For a man that tells Aleks not to think too hard about stuff, he should take his own advice. 

Brett rolls his eyes and asks, “so it doesn’t bother you when people that think they know everything about us, when they clearly don’t, are convinced we’re dating?”

Aleks presses his lips together and looks down to the seats as he begins to trace nondescript patterns. “Well… yeah, it bothers me a little bit,” he admits. “But people are just gonna do what they want and you should know that better than anyone. And you _are_ right but if you get defensive like that, people are just gonna get pissed off and think you’re hiding something and then they’re _really_ gonna think we’re dating.”

Aleks knows where Brett’s coming from, but that’s Aleks. Other people see Brett very differently from him and he’s well aware of that fact. Brett is stubborn and follows the beat to his own drum and all Aleks can do is add his own beats to streamline Brett’s into a harmony that won’t grate so many people.

Anyways, why_ is _Brett getting so defensive if he has (almost) nothing to hide? It’s not like he has a crush on Aleks so what is he trying to defend in the first place?

Aleks is surprised when Brett doesn’t fire back with some witty retort. Brett just sort of slumps in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest and he peers down at them like his arms are the most interesting thing in this car and, honestly? They kind of are. They’re so big!

Aleks won’t push him though. He’ll just sit there and give Brett the time to think over his words so he can tell Aleks what all is going through that interesting mind of his. Aleks is pretty patient when it comes to Brett, just as long as Brett isn’t teasing him on purpose.

“You’re right,” Brett concedes quietly. “I’ll deal with the fallout of that if it ever happens, but it’s just… I’ve never been like…” he shrugs, “... you know, a part of this before.”

“Like a ship?”

Brett gives a small grin and huffs through his nose. “Yeah. Suddenly people on the internet are drawing fanart and writing about you and your best friend together, talking about you two like you’re this romantic thing, like you two secretly hold hands and say _ ‘I love you’ _under like, the fucking moonlight on the beach. It’s a tiny bit overwhelming for me and I don’t really know how to deal with all of this.”

Aleks has been there before and he knows exactly how Brett feels. He was never outwardly defensive like Brett was but that’s because James dealt with most of that for him.

_ “Dude, that’s so fucking weird,” Aleks whines. “Why are people writing us like, fucking each other?” _

_ James shrugs and takes his phone away from Aleks. “They think we’d look good together.” _

_ “Yeah, but some of them like… actually think something is going on,” Aleks says. _

_ “Well… yeah, that’s really weird. But we can’t do anything about it, people are just gonna do what they want. All we can do is ignore it.” _

_ “Kind of hard to ignore when it’s all I see anytime we’re in a video together. Maybe I should like, say something about it-” _

_ “Nooo, you shit talk it and it’s gonna add fuel to the fire,” James advises. “You just gotta let it be, man.” _

Eventually, Aleks learned to embrace it and now, he needs to pass along that wisdom to Brett. It’s not a lot but anything is better than nothing. He figured he’d have to do something like this eventually, maybe with Trevor, but not with his best friend that’s 10 years older than he is.

_ Wait, did Brett just call me his best friend? _

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together and tilts his head. “Best friends?”

“Yeah, we’ve reached that point, haven’t we?”

It makes sense to Aleks. They’re living together and they’re touching their dicks together, so that combined with all of the things they’ve learned about each other in the past few months totally brings them up to that level. Aleks just didn’t think Brett felt the same way. 

Turns out, Brett just doesn’t feel the same way when it comes to their romantic feelings.

“No, yeah, uh… yeah.” Aleks nods and rubs the back of his neck as a slow smile graces his features. “Just uh, first time I really heard that.” He rolls his lips back and looks down to Brett’s lips before he suddenly leans in to kiss him, one final time, and then he pulls away as quick as it happened. “But uh, it’ll be fine. Really.”

Brett sighs and looks into Aleks’ eyes. “You promise?”

“I promise,” Aleks assures in a soothing tone. “I’ve been through it all before so trust me when I say it’ll be fine and not to worry too much about it. You trust me?”

Brett smiles and snorts before giving a nod. “Obviously.”

“Good. Stick with me, kid, and you’ll go places.”

“Wanna seal that promise with a kiss?”

“I think you’re getting a bit addicted to kisses, dude.”

“Weren’t you the one that told me we should come out here and make out?”

“Didn’t say I wasn’t getting addicted either.” Aleks grins and raises an eyebrow before he leans in to give Brett one last kiss… for real this time! No other kisses after this!

This kiss goes deeper than the simple pecks and when Brett frames Aleks’ face in his hands, Aleks has to hold tightly onto his wrists so he doesn’t melt into the seats.

As they share this impromptu deep kiss, Aleks realizes that the kisses he finds most addicting, are the ones intended to be simple - just one little kiss and that’s it - but end up growing into something of epic proportions, far beyond what his mind could ever envision in the realm of realistic possibilities.

One kiss with Brett, one taste, is all it takes for Aleks to see all of the universes in which they can _be._

* * *

**August 15th, 2017**

Hanging out with Trevor and Asher is always a good break from the party lifestyle that comes with living in LA. So is spending a quiet night in with Brett but Aleks can’t do that _all_ the time.

He does it all the time and Brett will start to suspect something, he’ll think Aleks_ likes_ him and then he’ll be like _ “uhh, Aleks, listen, maybe we shouldn’t fuck each other anymore” _and then he’ll kick Aleks out and Aleks will be homeless and he’ll never show his face in the offices again out of sheer embarrassment.

Okay, most likely he’ll just tell Aleks they shouldn’t fuck anymore but that’s still a reality Aleks wants to avoid.

Another reason to hang out with Trevor and Asher? Asher always scores the best weed.

Asher sits back against the couch after taking a hit and with a smile, he closes his eyes. “Fuck, I needed that,” he breathes. “My anxiety has been through the roof lately.”

“Same,” Trevor says.

“Fucking mood, dude,” Aleks adds.

Asher opens his eyes to look at Aleks and he raises an eyebrow. “Yo, Aleks.”

“What’s up, Ashie?”

“You should’ve kissed Brett yesterday,” Asher tells him. “Would’ve been good content.”

“Yeah, dude,” Trevor says as he grabs the bong. “You’re a pussy.”

“You kiss Brett then,” Aleks retorts.

_ Don’t actually do that. _

“You guys have kissed so much, dude, I feel like I’d be kissing you,” Trevor retorts right back.

“Exactly!” Aleks slams his hands down on the coffee table. “I’ve kissed him so much on camera, dude! I can’t overdo it.”

He kisses Brett too much and Brett will start to suspect something. He’ll think Aleks_ likes_ him and then he’ll be like _ “uhh, Aleks, listen, maybe we shouldn’t fuck each other anymore” _and… well, you know what else happens after that!

Aleks can’t let his friends think he’s too eager to kiss Brett either so if he expresses an aversion to it, they’ll never know that Aleks and Brett are sticking their dicks in each other! Aleks is playing a very dangerous game but it’s very fun all the same. If it wasn’t fun, it wouldn’t be called a game, wouldn’t it?

“Nooo, dude,” Trevor says before passing Aleks the bong. “You could be like that… that could be your thing with each other, you know? You and James always argue, you and Brett could always kiss orrrrr something.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together and gives Trevor a weird grin before he brings the bong to his mouth. “Are you the one making those reddit comments about me and Brett?”

“Brett said the same fucking thing yesterday, dude,” Trevor chuckles. “Did his like… saliva inject into your bloodstream to make you sound like him?”

_ More like his jizz, hahaha… I should fuck him tonight. _

“I don’t think that’s biologically accurate,” Asher comments.

Aleks sighs and leans back against the couch after setting the bong back on the table. “Ughhh,” he groans. “It’s just that so many people say we’re dating and it’s like, annoying, but I can’t say anything about it because I’ll be defensive or whatever. It’s sooo dumb."

“Dude, only people on Tumblr are saying shit like that,” Asher chimes in. “And most people think Tumblr is crazy anyways. It’s not indicative of our fanbase as a whole, you know? Just keep doing what you’re doing and if that’s being kinda gay on camera, who cares? Don’t listen to the weird fans.” Asher nods at Aleks and winks before he looks down to the table to roll a blunt. “Listen to the _cool_ ones.”

Aleks looks down at his lap and then hunches over, arms crossed over his knees as he reflects on Asher’s advice.

He’s had to embrace this sort of thing before with him and James but there was still an annoyance that came along with it. Back then, it was annoyance at fans trying to invade his privacy, which is still present, but now there’s the added caveat of being confronted with his feelings for Brett. 

Though it’s like Asher said… it’s only a few fans. It’s not the whole fanbase and the majority is pretty damn cool. Even those that do write fic, just as long as they never ever let Aleks know about it _ever._ Aleks just needs to focus on them and do his own thing with Brett. Whatever happens between him and Brett stays between them and nobody else should be playing a part in it, whether they know it or not.

“Here you go!” Asher smiles as he hands Aleks the blunt. “Relax, man. Take it easy.”

Aleks takes the blunt from him and inspects it before he shrugs and takes the lighter from the table.

Yup, take it easy is what he needs to do. He and Brett both.

* * *

Brett is in for the night so all he’s wearing are his briefs and sweatpants. He’s going to watch the new Sugar Pine video and maybe answer a few emails before calling it an early night, though depending on when exactly Aleks gets back from hanging out with Trevor and… _Asher,_ the night could very well go on longer.

Sex. Brett wants to engage in sexual intercourse with him. That’s why the night would go on longer.

It’s all fine if they don’t have sex though, the sex is just a neat bonus to their friendship. One that Brett is getting used to way too quickly, like a dog anticipating dog treats for doing the most minimal thing, but it’s still an optional bonus nonetheless!

Before he can play the new video, he looks from his screen and over to the door when he hears it clicking open and one whiff of the air is all Brett needs to know that Aleks is high.

“Whaaat’s cracka lackin up in here?” Aleks asks. “Up in here? Up in here. You gonna make me lose my mind, up in here-”

“How much did you smoke?” Brett chuckles.

“Not that much…” Aleks blinks and looks up to the ceiling as he closes the door behind him. “A good amount. But I didn’t go super crazy.”

Brett snorts and shakes his head before he looks back to the screen. “Why don’t you ever invite me to hang out with Trevor and Asher?” he asks. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to anyways because I’d feel out of place but I’m just curious.”

“You’re bicurious too.” And then Aleks starts giggling like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“Nope, I’m certainly bisexual,” Brett tells him casually. “Though girls still grab my attention a lot more.”

Girls are incredibly beautiful specimen that, for some reason, give Brett the time of day and he’s forever thankful that they take pity on him.

But Aleks is a specimen that’s so out of this world and Brett can’t fathom why Aleks would want to go for somebody like him when there’s so many more people out there, in the world, in the _universe,_ but millions and millions of people and he looked at Brett and thought, _ “I wanna exclusively get fucked by him.” _

Brett never complains. There’s no reason.

He just wonders a whole fucking lot.

“So why are you fucking me?” Aleks asks.

“Because you grab my attention more than anybody else.”

Aleks smiles and ducks his head as he rubs the back of his neck before he makes his way to the couch. “Well uh… I don’t ever invite you because you don’t really like Asher. It’d be awkward.”

Brett scoffs and looks to Aleks as Aleks plops a seat next to him. “That’s not true,” he argues. “I like Asher.”

Asher has many great qualities! He… there’s… uh, one time… so he can’t think of any off the top of his head! Aleks is right next to him and Aleks deserves every single ounce of his attention!

Aleks gives Brett a pointed look. “You literally told me a few days ago that you’d rather the warehouse burn down with you in it then ever give control of the company to Asher.”

“I think he has a bad work ethic, that doesn’t mean I don’t like him overall as a person.”

Why does he have to like Asher as a worker and a person before it can be considered he likes him? He’s able to separate the job from real life without blurring any lines and no, Brett is not at all aware of the irony in that thought compared to his real life struggle with the man next to him. If he was, then there wouldn’t even be a struggle.

Aleks widens his eyes briefly in disbelief before he narrows his eyes on the screen. “Uh huh. What are we watching?”

“The latest from Sugar Pine-”

“More like Shit Pine. Oooh, got ‘em.”

“Why are we shitting on Sugar Pine 7 so much? We like their content.”

Aleks shrugs. “It started with one joke and we kept it rolling. It hasn’t stopped.”

“So this video is interesting because guess what?” Brett asks.

“What?”

“Because we’re in it!”

“Oh shit, dawg!” Aleks sidles up to Brett’s side to get a better look at the screen.

Brett hits play so they can watch a “Day in the life of Sugar Pine 7” and the beginning of the video plays out how a normal Sugar Pine 7 video would go - nonsensical, outlandish, and surreal, but that’s just a part of their weird charm, sort of like how Cow Chop’s charm is in constantly creating disasters and fucking everything up.

At one point in the video, Steven is grilling Aleks for taking his brand new shoes and Brett intervenes on Aleks’ defense, because why wouldn’t he? After Brett asks Steven, _ “you coming for Cow Chop’s mail order Russian twink?”, _ the video pauses for Steven’s narration and Aleks and that’s when the video goes into an entirely different direction than Brett and Aleks thought.

_ “Aleks and Brett have gotten closer with each other since I watched them voluntarily make out with each other in a junkyard,” Steven says too casually. “They were practically inseparable at our offices but there was one instance where Brett was alone. For some reason, he looked tired and a bit upset. Probably because he realized that he’s at an age where he’s making decisions that will last for the rest of his life and since there was no time for him to change his path, I figured I’d do my best at cheering him up… or I was, until I saw this.” _

_ The camera is zoomed in tightly on Aleks and Brett and Aleks’ hands are pressed firmly on Brett’s chest as he whispers into his ear. Whatever is whispered can’t be heard and right when Aleks pulls away is when Brett gives this big smile. _

_ “Whatever Aleks whispered to Brett was apparently enough to cheer Brett up entirely,” Steven narrates. “Thankfully, Cib got down to the bottom of it and that was when I found out how exactly Aleks managed this without my guidance.” _

_ “Hey guys,” Brett announces. “Me and Aleks are going to the car to grab something real quick. Don’t wait up.” _

_ “Are you two, perhaps, leaving to engage in a battle of the tonsils?” Cib asks. _

_ “Yeah, we’re gonna fuck each other too,” Aleks replies and the video pauses once again. _

_ “And there you have it,” Steven narrates. “But I’m still upset because it should have been me. First, Aleks takes my shoes and then he takes my glory. What’s next? Will he take my virginity like he did Brett’s?” _

Apart from that particular section, the rest of the video is what Brett and Aleks expected but this part is what the both of them continue to focus on.

Brett purses his lips and looks over to Aleks, who’s holding the same expression.

“We’ve uh, been pretty gay this week with each other, huh?” Aleks asks.

“That’s just the on camera stuff,” Brett says quietly before he looks back to the screen. “Should we like… tone it down?”

_ Do I even wanna do that though? _

Aleks shrugs and shakes his head. “Nah. I’m having fun with it. Aren’t you?”

“I mean… the comments-”

“Nah, dude,” Aleks sighs and rests his head back against the couch. “Forget the comments. Just put it in one ear and out the other, you know what I’m sayin?”

Brett can’t remember the last time he got high but now he really wants to because Aleks is so calm about this, at least he looks like it. He’d try to argue it but then he and Aleks would just repeat the same discussion they had yesterday in the car and Aleks is still right. Brett’s just really sensitive, okay? It’s hard for him to immediately let something go without being reassured like, a million times. He takes many things to heart.

“I’ve just been thinking, Brett, ever since yesterday?” Aleks grabs Brett’s laptop and closes the lid before he sets it aside on the end table. “We gotta chill. Only like, what, those people on Tumblr are saying that shit about us? People already think they’re crazy. It’s not really like, indicative of our fanbase and the world as a whole,” he tells him before he sinks onto the floor, right on his knees. “We know what we are, man, and so do our cool fans. Let’s just keep doing what we’re doin’ and if that’s being kinda gay on camera, who cares? People live for that shit now.”

Yeah, Brett… sort of knows what Aleks is saying! And it sort of sounds like the smartest thing he’s ever heard!

Why is he getting his jimmies all rustled by a few fans when the rest of them see him and Aleks for what they are? Best friends that are comfortable in their sexualities and have no problems getting their gay on with each other for content?

So it’s not what they are at all but that’s what the majority of fans see it as.

Doesn’t mean he isn’t going to get uncomfortable if he happens to stumble upon another comment that accuses him and Aleks of dating but he’s not going to viciously call them out either. All he can do is ignore it.

_ Things were easier when I stuck to being behind the camera. _

Brett sighs and looks to his side to tell Aleks that he’s right but Aleks isn’t there, so he looks all around the room for him and why does it feel like somebody besides himself is touching his dick?

He looks down and widens his eyes when Aleks presses his mouth against the side of his shaft and his eyes lid shut with a quiet moan before he rests his head back against the couch. “Fuck, what are you doing?” Brett breathes.

“Nothing’s gonna make you feel better like a good blowjob.” Aleks winks up at him as he leaves an open mouth kiss to the shaft. “Let’s talk about something else, huh?”

“You’re seriously asking us to talk when you’re about to shove my dick down your throat?”

“I can multitask,” Aleks assures him before he kisses down to his balls and he sucks one into his mouth for his tongue to lave it with affection.

Brett doubts the current validity of that statement but is he going to argue with Aleks about it when Aleks is trying to suck him off? Will Aleks ever like him the way Brett does for him?

The answer to both of these questions is absolutely not.

He’d be stupid to hinder a blowjob that he so obviously wants! When somebody insists on sucking you off, you fucking take that with all the contingencies that come with it!

Aleks is very focused on Brett’s balls and it might not give him intense pleasure but it’s a pleasant massage that Brett has been needing. He wants to return the favor so he brings his hand down to card it through the strands of Aleks’ hair and soothingly scratches at his scalp and when Aleks moans around his balls, Brett smiles at the notion that his favor is appreciated.

“Gonna miss doing this when you’re gone,” Aleks murmurs around him. “Leaving for Germany in like, a week, right?”

“The 21st, yeah,” Brett answers. “At least I’ll only be gone a week this time.”

Aleks chuckles and blinks up at Brett as he proceeds to kiss back up his length. “Still, that’s a long time to go without being fucked.”

“It’s not like we’re dating,” Brett says while ignoring the slight pang in his chest. “Could always fuck somebody else until I get back.”

“No,” Aleks says firmly. “Nobody fucks me like you do.”

Brett sighs and looks up to the ceiling, staring through it to God on the other side so he can telepathically ask him,_ why did you bless me with this minx? _ before he looks down to the minx in question. “I’ll give you a good fuck before I leave, I promise,” Brett tells him. “It’ll keep you going for that week.”

“Don’t know if that’ll be enough.” Aleks raises an eyebrow, almost challengingly, before he pulls his head away. “I wanna try something real quick with you.”

_ “What are you gonna do? Spank me?” Brett asks. _

_ “Are you into that?” _

_ Brett shrugs. “I could be. Never had it done to me.” _

_ “We’ll get you to embrace that submissive side one day,” Aleks sighs as he walks forward to the clearance shelves to check out all it has to offer. _

… is Aleks going to try and finger him? Shit, he could’ve warned Brett like, a few days in advance but better now than never, uh, right? Oh fuck, Brett’s taking the first steps to losing his anal virginity and he didn’t even prepare himself for it tonight! He’s never had anything up his ass in his life and just like that -_ oh my god, relax, it’s just a finger. _

“Uh, y-yeah, okay,” Brett stammers. “Just go slow, okay?”

Aleks snorts and gives Brett a weird look. “Kind of can’t be slow with this.”

“But-”

“Will you trust me?” Aleks asks. “Seriously, you’re gonna love it…” and then he looks back and forth with a shrug before he takes a deep breath. “At least, if I do it right.”

Brett slams his eyes shut and takes a deep breath himself to prepare for the intrusion and he tries his best to relax. He’s done it to Aleks many times and Aleks has always been the receiving partner when they fuck so if Aleks can do this, so can he!

So he’s focused on bracing himself, so entirely focused that when Aleks suddenly deepthroats him with ease instead, it completely sets his internal system on fire and forces his eyes open, widens his mouth so a loud, shuddering moan escapes.

“Hoooooly fuck, Aleks,” Brett gasps. “Dude, oh my _fuck.”_ He looks down and his dick is nowhere in sight for it’s completely hidden inside the deliciously wet and warm cavern that is Aleks’ mouth. That’s when he’s made aware of all the little things going on - the way Aleks digs his nails crushingly hard into his thighs, how his nose gently brushes back and forth along the trimmed hairs surrounding his cock, and the warm huff of air ghosting from Aleks’ nostrils against his skin.

“You’re such a good boy,” Brett praises as he brings the both of his hands to run them back through Aleks’ hair. “God, I’m gonna fucking miss your mouth when I leave.”

Aleks is most likely able to deepthroat him right now because he’s high but even without that, he still sucks Brett off better than anybody else. It’s like the addition of his sensitive gag reflex motivates him to give Brett the best blowjob every single time, like there’s something to prove, and he’s proven that he’s a literal amazing cocksucker.

_ How am I supposed to leave him behind for a week? _

Aleks starts to make gagging noises and that’s when he finally pulls up from Brett’s cock to rest his head on top his thigh. His eyes close and he slowly breathes, in and out, to recover from the amazing feat and Brett just keeps running his fingers through his hair, keeps murmuring praises and encouragement, partly because he knows Aleks loves that shit but also because he fucking deserves it

However, a few minutes pass and Aleks still hasn’t moved his head at all. It’s a bit concerning.

Brett furrows his eyebrows and very gently pats Aleks’ cheek. “Aleks? You there, bud?”

There’s nothing.

“What the fuck?” Brett mumbles to himself as he maneuvers Aleks’ head off his thigh and when Aleks’ head rolls onto the couch cushions, he realizes that Aleks is asleep.

_ That’s cute as hell. _

He’s still hard but Aleks’ well being is always the top priority so with a snort, Brett shakes his head in amusement and pulls his pants back up. “Alright, buddy, let’s get you upstairs,” he says as lays Aleks gently on the floor so he can easily lift him up under the knees. He cradles Aleks closely to his chest as he carries him up the stairs and through the open door to his bedroom.

And isn’t it funny, how Aleks wakes up the second Brett steps through the door? The devil’s lettuce works in mysterious ways.

“Hey,” Aleks mumbles, “I wasn’t done sucking you off.”

“Hey, you are now,” Brett tells him. “By the way, you’re now in the year 3000 and I’m no longer Brett but just a robot programmed to look and act exactly like him.”

“Can I program you to let me suck you off?”

“I have built in functions preventing that,” Brett chuckles and gingerly lays Aleks down on his bed.

“But blue balls aren’t coooool, man,” Aleks whines and pulls Brett down by his hand and Brett is strong enough to stay standing but he likes to be by Aleks so he acts like Aleks is strong enough to easily pull him down.

“I’ll just think of Steven Suptic’s feet, it always works,” Brett says. “I’ll be fine. You got the munchies at all?”

“Dude, so fucking hardcore,” Aleks sighs and lets go of Brett’s hand so he can rest his hands on top his stomach. “I didn’t eat anything at Trevor and Asher’s and I’m sooo hungry.”

Brett chuckles and rests his hand on top of Aleks’ stomach to give it a soothing rub. “So how about a change in plans? I’ll go get food from downstairs and we’ll watch bad movies and all that… bad stuff. How does that sound to you?”

Aleks blinks a few times at Brett before his mind fully registers what’s being asked and when it does, the most soft and the most serene of smiles lifts his features. He brings the both of his hands to rest over Brett’s and with a nod, he tells him, “I’d actually like that a lot more.”

He’d rather eat and watch bad movies with Brett over doing sexual shit with him? He wants to be in Brett’s company with no precursor of sex? Of course, Brett would rather do these things too but it’s because he likes Aleks and wants to do anything with him… oh, it’s just because Aleks is tired.

That’s why he wants to just do friendly things with Brett right now. Nothing more to it, no matter how hard he might try to look.

“Then I’ll be back.” Brett pats his stomach and stands up from the bed but then Aleks pulls him back again, a continuing trend of the night, and Brett continues to let Aleks think he’s strong enough to force Brett to his whims. “Uh, want me to get anything in particular?” Brett asks as he looks down into Aleks’ eyes, now that Aleks is sat up on his knees.

Aleks licks along his upper lip in contemplation before his gaze dips down to Brett’s lips and Brett finds himself mirroring these actions. It seems as if Aleks is going to pull him back for one more kiss and Brett would be happy to give that to him, happy to give _anything_ of his to Aleks. He’d let Aleks take his hand and his whole entire life but then Aleks just shakes his head and lays back on the bed in a relatively non-monumental exchange.

“Just get the hot Cheetos,” Aleks tells him. “That’s a must.”

Brett huffs through his nose and nods. “Of course,” is all he says before he leaves Aleks’ room to get the food and nothing more.

One day, they’ll both realize that the only obstacle to being with each other is themselves. That day just isn’t this one.


	5. Reach Beyond The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett leaves for Germany and Aleks takes that time to learn how to be the ultra submissive partner of Brett's dreams.

**August 20th, 2017**

Brett is leaving for Germany in a few hours so he pretty much stayed up the entire night. That way when he gets on the plane, he can instantly fall asleep.

Aleks has decided to stay up with him. That means playing video games and watching random shows on Netflix to help them stay awake but there’s one surefire method that works. Chances are likely that Aleks will fall asleep after it because _ that _combined with staying up on little sleep? He’ll go out like a light.

“Do I feel good, daddy, huh?” Aleks asks. He peers into Brett’s eyes and drinks upon his dark gaze as he quickens his hips on top. “Love filling up my tight ass?”

“You know you feel good, baby,” Brett moans while his hands roam up from Aleks’ ass and along the back of his shirt. “You know I love filling you up, but now you tell me - how good does daddy feel?” Then he wraps his arms around Aleks’ upper back to keep him pressed down firmly on his body, practically pinned there, as he harshly begins to fuck into him.

Aleks’ hands are sort of trapped between his and Brett’s chests, clasped together, and all he can do to anchor himself is to turn his hands so he can press his nails into Brett’s chest through his shirt, as hard as he can. Even with the anchorage, it’s still not enough. Brett’s fucking him so hard, so fast, he _always_ does and he does it with no fucking problem. No other man can maintain such consistency like Brett.

He grits his teeth together and screws his eyes tightly shut with a loud whine, squeezes Brett’s sides with his legs as hard as he can. _“Daddy,”_ he says in a more high pitched tone “Fuck, you’re so _good,_ daddy, _please,_ make me yours!”

It’s just a tiny bit frustrating how quickly Brett can leech that dominant spirit from him, but that frustration is always squandered by the elation that comes with Brett going full force in making Aleks _his._

Those three words is all Brett needs to latch onto his neck and make that mark that’ll show everybody that Aleks is spoken for. Maybe these people won’t know it’s Brett who made the mark but Aleks will know. He’ll know that it was Brett who gave him that mark and fucked him stupid.

Right when Brett pulls away to admire his work is when his cock slips out from Aleks, much to their shared chagrin. Aleks drops his head against Brett’s neck before whining, “please, daddy, give it to me again.”

“Alright, hold on,” Brett tells him before he quickly turns them around, Aleks on his back with him on top. He stays in between Aleks’ legs, as close as he can, and one hand moves down to line himself back up while the other wraps around Aleks’ throat to gently choke him.

Aleks gasps and it heightens into a whimper as he opens his eyes to stare pleadingly at Brett, his hands falling pliant by the sides of his head to show that he’s a _ good boy, _ he’ll do whatever Brett wants and he’ll do it better than anybody else ever could.

You know something? He wouldn’t mind a nice collar and leash right now. Brett could fuck him from behind and tug hard on that leash, choke him and keep reminding Aleks of his place as the good boy in his life but he doesn’t think Brett would be into that sort of thing. There’s nothing in particular that makes him think that, he just doesn’t want to get his hopes up. 

He already has the stars at his hands. He doesn’t need to keep reaching until he’s in a different galaxy.

“Be a good boy,” Brett urges in a low tone. “Easy… fuck, there we go.” Brett blows out a breath as he pushes all the way back inside and then he rests one arm beside Aleks so he can lean over him and ask, “how are we feeling now, baby?”

Aleks gives a long mewl as Brett fills him to the brim. When Brett is sheathed entirely inside, he breathes out a loud moan. “So full, daddy, I love it,” Aleks gasps. “I love being yours, fuck, I _always_ wanna be yours, daddy. Nobody else’s, just _yours.”_

“Oh, you’ve always been mine,” Brett chuckles. “That’s never gonna change.”

Dirty talk has its pros and cons. It’s incredibly fucking hot but when Brett says shit like that, like that Aleks has _always_ been his, it’s a sad reminder of what they aren’t.

But in the moment, Aleks can act like Brett means it. He can play make believe and act like they really do belong to each other, that this will continue into the night, into the morning, and into the following days.

It’s sort of why Aleks wants to escalate the dirty talk into actual practice. Like, he wants to belong to Brett in every sense of the word. He wants to be so wrapped up in Brett that Brett is all he knows and he doesn’t have to think about the fact that they’re not really a thing.

He can just think about pleasing Brett, about Brett praising him, and about the **present** in which they are. Not the past or future, in which they aren’t and never will.

“Then make me yours,” Aleks tells him as he brings his hands up to fist in Brett’s shirt. “Break me down and make me yours and yours only so it’s all I can even _be,_ daddy.”

Aleks could die happily right now with the way Brett is looking at him.

He feels like he’s done something right because Brett is looking at him like his personal Jesus. His lips are parted open but the corner of his lip is tilted up ever so slightly in the most subtle of grins and his eyes circle all over Aleks’ face, like he’s trying to figure out if Aleks is real or a figment of his imagination but Aleks is real, this is real, so is Brett, and it’s _amazing._

If Aleks could be submissive, _actually_ submissive for Brett more often, then he’d get to see Brett look at him like _this_ more often. He just wishes he knew a better way to bring it up… how do you start that kind of thing? It’s not like Aleks hasn’t tried dom and sub stuff but never as the submissive.

“You're really saying that to me before I leave?” Brett breathes out a chuckle and shakes his head. “Before I can actually do something about it? I swear to god, when I come back-”

They both snap their heads to the side when they hear loud barking and that’s when Mishka comes racing over, baring all of her teeth.

“Mishka, go!” Aleks calls out.

“Mishka!” Brett hisses quietly. “We’re-”

But Mishka listens to neither of them as she runs over to Brett to bite at his thigh. After Brett yelps in pain, Aleks immediately maneuvers himself out from under Brett to hoist Mishka into his arms.

“No, bad girl!” Aleks scolds. “I know you’re trying to protect me - but bad!”

Brett looks down to his thigh and there’s a bite mark but there’s no blood. It’s not really bad but it’s definitely put a small roadblock in their sex for the moment. “Did you wanna continue?” Brett asks as he watches Aleks move to the stairs. 

“Yeah, just gotta put her away first,” Aleks answers as he looks back to Brett apologetically. “Sorry about that.”

“No need,” Brett assures. “That sort of thing was gonna happen eventually.”

It’s still so embarrassing! Here he is with Brett, they’re getting more hot and heavy than usual, and all of a sudden, his dog just fucking comes out of nowhere to bark at Brett for no reason!

... so yeah, it might’ve looked like Brett was pinning Aleks down against his will from afar but he wasn’t! He could never make Aleks do anything against his will because Aleks would do anything he wants!!

Fuck, Aleks wants to be a submissive bitch for Brett and he would openly scoff at that with everybody else he’s been with. Doesn’t that say something about the lengths he’s willing to go for that beautiful musk ox of a man?

Aleks is annoyed with Mishka but he still carefully cradles her and holds her close as he takes her back to his bedroom. Mishka whines as she’s sat down on Aleks’ bed and she looks up to Aleks with her ears folded back and her tail curled up behind her.

Aleks frowns and sits on the bed beside her before stroking his hand back through her fur. “I love you, but you can’t attack my friend like that.”

Mishka grumbles and tilts her head.

Aleks sighs and looks the other way. “Yeah, I know… friends don’t really do what we’re doing but it’s complicated.”

Mishka tilts her head and looks to Aleks before she looks down. She toddles up to his side and paws at his thigh before she gives Aleks her full attention again and she begins to wag her tail, like she’s anticipating Aleks to talk to her about this complicated arrangement and whether she is or isn’t, Aleks is compelled to do so anyways.

Aleks huffs and looks ahead of him. “I really like him, Mishka,” he says quietly. “I like him a lot… but this is the most we’ll ever be with each other.”

Mishka whines and Aleks frowns. “Yeah, it sucks,” Aleks mumbles. “I want us to be more but we won’t. I just gotta take what I can get. It’s better than nothing so…” he swallows and looks back down to his dog. “Don’t interrupt us like that again, okay? I like everything he does to me. A lot. Like seriously,” he chuckles. “A whole lot.”

He’s going to miss all of this when Brett goes to Germany. It’s only for a week, better than when Brett left for 2 weeks last time, but then he came back and they had the most incredible sex, even more incredible than all the sex they have now.

And it’s still unbelievable. 

Their sex is like apples and oranges and they can’t be compared to each other. Whether it’s slow, whether it’s hard, whether they’re being kinky or their usual goofy selves, it’s always a fun time because Aleks can always be himself.

Aleks can’t be himself with anybody else. Only Brett has been able to achieve that with him and Aleks doesn’t wanna risk letting that go. As long as he doesn’t delude himself into thinking they can be more, it’s fine.

He’s an adult. An adult male with responsibilities and he has a responsibility to not let his feelings get in the way of this great thing.

Much like he did with Mishka just now, he needs to seal those feelings away.

* * *

**August 22nd, 2017**

It’s a gorgeous day here in Germany. The sun is shining bright, the skies are painted a lovely light blue, and the shopping district Brett and Lindsey are currently strolling through on the way to a fan meetup is home to many cool stores. Admittedly, some of them are the same that they would see in America but it’s always nice to have that little reminder of home.

Another reminder of home is when Brett looks to his reflection in some of the buildings windows to see the visible hickey on his neck. It’s more of a reminder of Aleks but Aleks and home are interchangeable to Brett at this point.

_ It’s only for a week. It’s only for a week. It’s only for- _

“Were you like this the last time you went away?”

Brett raises his eyebrows when Lindsey speaks and he turns his head to give her his attention. “Like what?”

“Hating life and wishing you could be somewhere else?”

Brett sighs and adjusts the bill of his baseball cap as he looks back to the side. “It’s not that I haven’t been liking it here so far, and Gamescom so far has been pretty fun but I just wish Aleks could be here.”

Lindsey gives Brett a small smile and huffs fondly through her nose. “Yeah, Aleks sort of said the same thing the last time you were gone,” she tells him as she walks past Brett to enter the store he was about to walk past.

The last time?! Did Aleks tell Lindsey that he missed him when he was gone? Aleks like, talks about Brett to other people when he’s not around and it’s not with vitriol? So does Brett but like, he _likes_ Aleks and Aleks doesn’t like him like that!

No, _no,_ he’s not going to think hard about it. He thinks too hard about it and he’ll delude himself into thinking Aleks feels the same way and that’s going to complicate sooo many things...

… but he still gets this mushy gushy feeling inside him anyways.

When Brett is brought out of mushy gushy land, he looks around for Lindsey and furrows his eyebrows when he can’t immediately find her, until he looks into the windows of the store beside him. There’s Lindsey, thankfully, but the interior of the store along with, well, the many sex toys and lingerie on the walls and shelves clues Brett into the fact that Lindsey made her way inside the German equivalent of Hustler.

It’s not exactly the place Brett wants to be caught in at the moment but Lindsey’s already in here so he might as well go in with her, just in case of any potential creepers.

Brett walks inside to meet up with Lindsey at a shelf with various bottles of lube. “Uhhh, Lindsey?”

“Yeah?” she asks as she picks up a bottle. “Ooh, what if we did a video where we made everybody try different flavors of lube? You think they’d like this bacon one?”

“Bacon?” Brett tilts his head and grabs the bottle to inspect it. “How come I’ve just heard of this? Is that why you came in here?”

Lindsey purses her lips and looks off to the side, then down to the floor before turning on her heel. “Uh. Part of it.”

Brett snorts and sets the bottle back on the shelf. “Gotcha. Don’t stop on my account.”

It might help for him to do a little shopping himself, at least inspect their wares and get some ideas on what he and Aleks can do with each other. He’s well aware that Aleks uses dildos so maybe buying him a toy wouldn’t be… the worst thing? Christ, Aleks told Brett that he wants Brett to break him down until he’s_ only_ Brett’s so it wouldn’t hurt to up the kinky levels in their arrangement.

Brett walks away from the lube, because he and Aleks have plenty of that in all sorts of areas in their house, and makes his way towards the back area. He’s sort of looking all around for anything that piques his interest and honestly, that’s a lot of things, but there’s one accessory in particular that catches Brett’s eye.

The lights in the store cast downwards in a ray over the black leather collar, like a treasure chest being unearthed in a video game, and it shines off the metallic ring in front. It looks to be a very simple thing, no added studs or frills. Very non threatening in appearance.

Brett makes the few steps over and, very gingerly, takes the collar off the rack so he can run his thumb along the leather. His thumb slides under to the inside and he peers in to see dark gray fur lining it, put there so the wearer of the collar could comfortably wear it.

_ “I love being yours, fuck, I **always** wanna be yours, daddy,” Aleks whines. “Nobody else’s, just **yours**.” _

It would be the perfect thing to cement Aleks as his in their sexual games.

If Aleks is so desperate to be his, then wouldn’t this collar be just what he needs to be reminded that he’ll _always_ be Brett’s? Not just for Aleks but Brett too, for he’ll have that pleasure of wrapping that collar around Aleks’ throat. He’ll have the honors of being the one to put Aleks in that submissive position, willing to please for him and only him, nobody else.

There’s a chance it could just be dirty words said for the sake of it but Brett would be remiss if he didn’t buy it. Aleks doesn’t have to wear it but the option is there, it always will be, and Brett is a strong encourager, so he grabs the collar and the accompanying leash with it and then he turns around to see Lindsey suddenly right in front.

“Jesus!” Brett exclaims as he hops back, bumping into the wall and slightly shaking a little in the startlement. “Fuck, you came out of nowhere.”

“I found something funny.” Lindsey looks to the collar in Brett’s hand and furrows her eyebrows. “You’re uh, buying that? Why?”

Brett raises an eyebrow at her and tries to peer over her shoulder to get a look at what her hands are holding behind her back. “I don’t think you wanna know the details of mine and Aleks’ sex life. So what’s this funny thing?”

Lindsey shrugs, finding that an acceptable answer, and brings her hands in front to reveal the toy in her hands and Brett takes it with a laugh.

“Dude, what the fuck is this?” he laughs as he twists and turns the cow spot pattern buttplug. “What even?”

“Reminded me of us,” Lindsey says. “Found it with uh, the other butt stuff.”

Ah, butt stuff! That’s the next area Brett should go to! He and Aleks do butt stuff all the time! Because they both have penises and where else are they going to go!

_ I miss Aleks’ mouth. _

“Also,” Lindsey says as she walks with Brett to that area, “I was talking to Joel on the phone the other day and out of nowhere, he was like _ ‘so uh, what have you and Brett been up to? Doing anything exciting together?’ _ and I just wanna know what that was all about.”

Damnit! God damn Joel and his shit stirring mouth!! Brett likes to stir shit too but not when it comes to him! He doesn’t wanna be in shit!

First, Joel tries to get Aleks to talk about how hot Brett is, then he accuses them of fucking each other, now he’s trying to get Lindsey to delve on the details of her and Brett’s completely hypothetical and fake arrangement?

Joel is an absolute deviant and not in the sexy way like Aleks is. He’s the devil incarnate.

Then again, it’s why he and Brett are such good friends.

Brett blows out a breath and looks over to the shelves. “Okay, so Joel was sort of interrogating me about me and Aleks, because he thought we were fucking each other-”

“You _are_ fucking each other though.”

“But he can’t know that!” Brett whines. “So I had to tell him I was fucking you so he’d get off my back.”

He’s expecting Lindsey to (rightfully) hit his shoulder or berate him but he’s incredibly relieved when Lindsey just laughs it off and looks back to the shelves.

“That’s it?” Lindsey chuckles. “That’s pretty funny. I’ll keep it up for your sake then. How did Joel find out about you two though?”

“Because Joel’s a mind reader and I should know better than to try and hide things from him,” Brett mumbles as he grabs a prostate massager from the shelf, turning the box over to read the description and instructions.

It would be the perfect first step into getting him ready to do butt stuff with Aleks - the receiving part of the equation instead of giving like he’s so very used to.

It’s unlikely Aleks will actually fuck Brett like that anytime soon but if they’re getting hot and heavy on some random night and Aleks wants to switch things up and top Brett, then Brett wants to be ready! He wants to do anything Aleks wants and if that means fucking Brett then sure, why not?

Brett knows it feels good. He’s not clueless about the prostate after all and he has some ideas of what to do down there with himself but putting it into practice is different. It’s best to start this journey with some self exploration.

Lindsey eyes the box and smiles, batting her eyelashes as she looks up to Brett. “How have you and Aleks been doing, by the way?”

“Muy bueno,” Brett tells her without looking up from the box. “How’s your new place?”

“Awesome!” Lindsey cheers. “It’s so nice and the neighbors are great, it’s beside all the clubs and stuff-”

“Great, now how about you and James?”

Lindsey groans and rolls her eyes as she walks away from Brett towards the area with all the pretty lingerie. “What _about_ me and James?”

“Ooh,” Brett hisses and follows the sounds of Lindsey’s footsteps with precision. “That doesn’t sound good. I thought you two hit it off when you left me and Aleks at the club to go drink with each other.”

It doesn’t look like anything bad happened between them at all. Brett still sees them talking to each other at the warehouse, laughing and joking and finding small excuses to touch each other. It looks like things are better than ever between them so why does she sound so annoyed about it?

“We didn’t leave you two,” Lindsey argues. “You guys were just so into each other and it’s clear you guys wanted alone time.”

“Same could be said for you and James.”

“There _isn’t_ a me and James.”

“So what happened?!” Brett demands. “What did he do?”

“Nothing!” Lindsey whines. “I just… he just…” she huffs and grabs a lingerie set from the wall. “I dunno, it was a nice night and we haven’t stopped hanging out after that but I just think he wants to be friends because he hasn’t made a move.”

Oh, is that it? She thinks that just because James hasn’t made a move that he doesn’t like her? There are many reasons why he might not have done so yet and considering Brett’s in the same boat, he totally knows how they feel. Asking somebody out can be scary if you really like that person!

Nonetheless, it’s clear to Brett they like each other so there are two obvious options.

“So you make a move,” Brett advises.

“No!”

“So convince him to make a move.”

“NO.”

And it makes sense that Lindsey would say no to both of them.

Brett gives her a polite smile and asks, “do you see the problem here?”

“Yes!!”

Brett sighs and brings his free hand over to pat Lindsey’s shoulder before he coaxes her head onto his shoulder. “Oh, Lindsey,” he sighs. “You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be.”

“I know,” Lindsey sighs. “I wish me and him could just… be like you and Aleks. You guys are just fucking each other. You guys don’t like each other. Feelings are stupid.”

Brett swallows and rolls his lips back, looking away from Lindsey and down to the floor. “Yeah…” he says quietly. “Feelings are… they are really stupid.”

What if Lindsey took his and Aleks’ place and he and Aleks took her and James’? What if they weren’t fucking each other? What if they were just friends that so obviously liked each other and are afraid to make a move? Would that be easier or harder than the situation they’re in right now?

It’s an interesting thing to ponder but ultimately, better or worse, Brett wants to stick with what they have. In both scenarios, he still has feelings for Aleks but at least in this one, he’s able to do something about it.

He can show Aleks how much he appreciates him, maybe not with his words but with his actions - cuddling him after sex, kissing every square inch of his body, and buying things like this collar.

For Aleks, it’ll just be something to make their bedroom activities more interesting and fulfilling. For Brett, it means that Aleks is his in all aspects of life. He’s the one that Brett wants to be with, to fall asleep with and wake up to, and he’s the one that will forever rule Brett and his mind. Aleks just doesn’t know it.

He probably never will.

* * *

But much like Aleks rules Brett’s mind, the vice versa can be said for Aleks.

Brett’s not here and James isn’t feeling too well so considering they won’t be at the office, Aleks took it upon himself to call up everybody and give them an impromptu day off. 

Now that he’s home alone, he can go back to the kind of fun he’s always had before Brett, the kind of fun he had to resort himself to around a month ago to literally fill in the hole Brett left behind.

Aleks lathers his dildo with the toy cleaner and with the other hand, he gets the cloth wet so he can wipe it down. He’s not wearing anything at all, fully intending to use this right as soon as he’s done. Mishka and Celia are napping downstairs so it’s looking to be a day spent between Aleks, himself, and him.

It’d be much better if Brett was here but this actually gives Aleks an opportunity to try out some new things, notably acting more submissive.

_A lot_ more submissive.

He swallows and sighs as he takes a dry cloth to wrap the dildo in so he can dry it off and he looks up to the ceiling. “Do I really wanna do that though?” he asks himself.

_ How many times have you thought about being Brett’s and only his? Yes, you wanna do this. _

Aleks grimaces. “I’ve never really been like this for somebody before…”

_ Looks like he gets that special privilege in being your first then. Hahaha. _

Aleks snorts and shrugs before he exits the bathroom to his bedroom. “Fair,” he mumbles. 

_ You’re by yourself right now. Nobody’s going to see you like this besides Brett and you know how crazy he’ll go for that shit. _

He knows all too well how much Brett loves that submissive side of him and Aleks really is more than willing to explore every part of that with him but it also means giving himself up entirely. It means being completely vulnerable and lowering himself into nothing, purely a toy for Brett’s pleasure.

If Brett tells him to jump, Aleks needs to do it without asking him how high. If Brett wants Aleks to deepthroat him, then he better take a deep breath and go for it because god knows what’ll happen if he disobeys.

Actually, being punished could be super fun but he likes being a good boy for Brett a little too much. He likes it when Brett praises him and lets him know how much hotter he is than everybody else, how much _better_ he is than everybody else, and it allows Aleks to live in that brief delusion that there could be something more and maybe if he’s _really_ good, there really_ can_ be something more.

When Aleks steps inside his bedroom, his phone is ringing on the end table and he sets the clothed dildo down on the bed before picking up his phone without looking at the ID. “Hello?” he greets.

“Hey, you miss me yet?”

** _!!!!!_ **

Aleks beams and sits down on the bed. “Do you miss me?”

“I asked first.”

“I asked second.”

“You did. But yeah, I do miss you,” Brett says casually as he sits atop his bed.

Aleks hums and rolls onto his back, setting the phone in between his ear and shoulder as he unwraps the now dry dildo from the cloth. “Then I miss you too. How’s Gamescom?”

“In your own words, everything is a lot more fun with you but Lindsey was a great second choice. Uh, I do have an ulterior motive in calling you though,” Brett admits as he squints his eyes at the box in his hand.

Aleks raises an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

“So uh, you’ve uh… you know what a prostate massager is right?”

“Mmhm.” Aleks nods even though Brett can’t see. “When I first realized I was into guys, I used them a lot. It was a pretty good way to get me used to having things up there.”

“Looks like it did a pretty good job,” Brett chuckles.

Aleks looks down to his dildo and huffs a chuckle of his own through his nose as he presses the thick tip of it to the head of his dick. “Ohhh yeah. So why are you asking?”

“Don’t laugh but uh, me and Lindsey went shopping and you know her, she’s so crazy! She went into this sex shop-”

“You fucking Lindsey?”

“No, _ Joel.” _

Aleks smiles and looks down to watch as he trails the dildo down the shaft of his dick, past his balls, so he can trace it around the rim of his hole. “My bad. Continue.”

“Anyways, I might’ve bought one of those…” Brett purses his lips and looks to the side before he sets the phone to his ear. “... and some other things,” he tells Aleks as he opens the box.

“Ooh, what else did you buy?” Aleks asks with intrigue. “You gonna use them when you get back?”

“They’re surprises,” Brett tells him. “But yeah, I bought a massager and I was just wondering how to like, use one. Do I use it like a dildo or… how do I… ?”

“Just google it,” Aleks says.

“But you’re the expert,” Brett sighs. “Just give me a few pointers so I can be a sexy bottom like you.”

“Well I do appreciate that you’re exploring that side of yourself.” Aleks looks up to the ceiling in thought and squints his eyes. “Well, when you first use it, lay on your back and plant your feet straight on the bed. It’s the optimal way to do it, I guess.”

“Okay, yeah. Totally. Anything else?”

“Lube,” Aleks answers quickly. “Especially for your first time. Don’t be afraid to go crazy with it.”

Actually, Aleks needs lube to fuck himself right now. How did he forget?

As Brett asks Aleks for more tips, Aleks grabs the lube from the nightstand so he can pop the cap open to slather the contents over his dildo. “There’s a lot of ways to do it,” Aleks says. “It feels different for everybody so you just need to follow what feels right, you know? I like to go up and down with it. Annnd the last tip I’ll give you? Don’t expect anything super mind blowing at first - it’ll be a few times before you’re like, screaming and shaking.”

“It can do that?!”

“Why do you sound surprised?” Aleks laughs. “I scream and shake when you fuck me.”

“But you’re just doing that to make it hotter. I know I don’t feel _that_ good.”

Aleks scoffs and shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he slowly pushes the head of the dildo past the rim and he rolls his lips back to stifle the gasp. “Trust me, you do,” Aleks breathes. “I don’t fucking exaggerate anything for you. I scream and shake when you fuck me because I literally can’t hold myself back.”

Brett breathes in deeply and picks up the prostate massager, twisting and turning it to inspect before he sets it aside. “Anybody else ever fuck you like that?”

“Are you asking if anybody has ever fucked me as good as you?”

Brett smirks and lies back against the headboard as he rests a hand over the crotch of his sweatpants. “Well… have they?” he asks in a voice lower than usual.

Aleks blinks down to the dildo and slowly runs his tongue along his lips in contemplation.

He was wanting to do this by himself to test out the waters of this whole “ultra submissive bitch” thing but now Brett is talking to him in that low voice, reserved for all of their sexual activities, and Aleks is finding it real hard not to have some fun with Brett when he’s right here.

Sort of.

A hot, shaky breath parts open Aleks’ lips and he closes his eyes as he shoves the dildo inside the rest of the way with a long mewl, a sound mostly reserved anytime Brett shoves back into him. “Nobody will ever fuck me as good as you, daddy,” he says.

Brett blinks and tilts his head. “Are you fucking yourself right now?”

“Maybe,” Aleks tells him. “What if I was?”

Brett clicks his tongue and grins as he slips his hand beneath the waistband of his sweatpants to wrap around his shaft. “What would you want me to say if you were?”

Does he know Aleks wants to be ultra submissive today? No, he’s not a mind reader. He’s like, incredibly perceptive and knows Aleks better than most people but Aleks hasn’t really hinted to that sort of thing, least he doesn’t think so.

But Aleks was wanting to try that out today. He would’ve preferred to do it by himself to test out what feels and sounds right but Brett pretty much likes anything he does and says. Why not let Brett know everything that’s running around in the lustful haze that clouds his mind?

Aleks opens his eyes and looks up to the ceiling but right as he pushes the dildo all the way back inside, his eyes lid shut and a moan escapes his lips. “I’d want you to tell me that I’m nothing without you,” Aleks moans again while he thrusts the dildo in and out at a steady pace. “You haven’t even been gone long but I can’t even wait for you to come back to make me feel something again, _anything.”_

“When the hell did you get so desperate?” Brett breathes a laugh and closes his eyes briefly with a moan as he quickens his hand and then he looks ahead. “Where did this come from?”

“Is it too much?” Aleks asks, furrowing his eyebrows together and stilling the dildo in place. “I can stop-”

“Daddy didn’t tell you to stop,” Brett tells him firmly. “I love this side of you. Keep going, tell me what you want.”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” Aleks says as he thrusts the dildo again and he moans loudly at the sudden bout of pleasure. “Oh _fuck,_ I wanna be your fucktoy,” he breathes. “I want you to do whatever you want to me and I’d take it all so good for you. I wanna be so good for you, it’s all I want.”

“Whatever I want, huh?”

“Yes, anything,” Aleks whines. “Just say it, I’ll do it.”

“Beg,” Brett tells him. “Beg for it like I’m there right now.”

It’s something Aleks should bitch about and any other time, he would put up a fight but right now, it sounds like something he_ must_ do and he has no choice. If he wants to be so good for Brett, if he wants Brett to praise him, then this is the best way.

In his current state of mind, it’s a no brainer, and he gives into Brett’s demand pretty quick.

“Please fuck me, daddy,” Aleks moans oh so beautifully. “I want you to fuck me so good, so **hard,** so fucking hard that I forget my name and all I know is how to make you happy, h-how to make you feel good. Fuck, I-I can’t wait for it, daddy, I need you to feel you inside me. Please, pretty please-”

“If you don’t stop, I’m actually going to take an early flight back and fuck you stupid,” Brett manages a laugh and then he closes his eyes with a whine as he tightens the grip on his shaft. “Fuuuck, you beg so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Aleks asks hopefully. “Am I your good boy, daddy?”

“Yes you are, I promise,” Brett assures. “You’re the only boy daddy will ever come back to.”

“Then come back to me,” Aleks whines. “Fly back here and fuck me until-”

“Shit, hold on,” Brett grumbles as he swipes his hand from the inside of his sweatpants. “Some fucking asshole is knocking on my door, like who does that at 1 in the morning when I’m trying to have hot phone sex with like, the hottest person in the world, it’s so fucking rude.”

Aleks huffs and opens his eyes, shaking his head while he looks up to the ceiling. “Tell them to fuck off, dude,” he mumbles. “You’re busy.”

“And super hard,” Brett says quietly as he grabs the knob to open the door. “But it might be Lindsey, she went out drinking-”

Aleks grimaces when he hears somebody throw up on Brett’s line and he takes the dildo out because suddenly, it doesn’t feel right to have that in him anymore.

Lindsey curls up on the floor of the hallway and closes her eyes as she pats the carpet. “Brett, the floor’s my frieeeeend,” she says in a weirdly innocent tone.

Brett swallows and thins his lips tightly together. “Aleks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. There’s uh. Well, I need to take care of Lindsey. And wash my feet. With bleach.”

Aleks’ grimace widens and he scrunches his nose as he sits up on the bed. “Ew. I get it.”

“I’m real sorry,” Brett says in a slightly strained tone. “I miss you. Talk to you tomorrow, hopefully.”

The grimace softens totally into a smile and Aleks looks down at his comforter while he picks the threads. “I miss you too."

They both end the call and Aleks sets his phone off on the night stand. He looks over at it for a few minutes in the hopes that maybe Brett will call him back but he’s not getting his hopes up. Brett has a life outside of fucking his sweet ass all the time and so does Aleks, though right now he wouldn’t mind giving that all up just to be his precious fucktoy.

Aleks closes his eyes and whines as he throws himself back on the bed. “God, I sound like such a bitch.”

_ Don’t act like you don’t love it. _

Aleks huffs and turns his head to the side to look at the discarded dildo. “I wish I didn’t.”

_ Did you hear how hot Brett sounded? How happy he was? Dude, he was so fucking into it. Imagine if Brett was here right now... _

“I miss him,” Aleks sighs. “And I miss him fucking me.”

_ But more importantly, you miss _ ** _him._ **

Aleks frowns and casts his gaze to the comforter, red and black as opposed to Brett’s blue and white.

He misses Brett fucking him, absolutely, but he misses everything else about him a lot more.

He misses the way Brett smells, always of cinnamon and vanilla.

He misses the way Brett holds him after sex, like he’s a fragile treasure that needs to be treated with utmost care.

He even misses the stupid fucking way Brett pounds his fists together when he talks because it’s such a unique idiosyncrasy that not many others have and Aleks always attributes it to Brett as one of the many things that makes Brett, _Brett._

Aleks might be at home but he doesn’t feel like he’s at home. He feels like he’s in some parallel universe that Brett isn’t apart of and it’s all so wrong. Without Brett, everything goes into disarray. Frogs are raining from the sky, hell is freezing over, dogs and cats are fucking each other, and it’s all going so _wrong._

When Brett is completely taking over him and his senses, even from far away, it feels so _right._

So the instant Brett steps foot into their house again, Aleks is going to have no problems giving himself up to the man that breathed a new sense of everlasting life into his being.


	6. Servants Of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett comes back from Germany and Aleks is there to welcome him with open arms, open legs, and a newly opened mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos so far! I know the fandom is sort of dwindling so I really appreciate it <3
> 
> This week is also a triple upload week - Chapter 7 will be uploaded on Wednesday, and Chapter 8 on Friday~

**August 27th, 2017**

It’s really hard to talk to Aleks when their time difference means they’re always going to be sleeping while the other is awake, or one will be awake while the other is busy.

Brett was away from Aleks for 2 weeks the last time he went to a different country but that was at least motivated by the texting and FaceTime sessions. The time difference between LA and Germany was more difficult to manage and thus, Brett and Aleks haven’t really talked too much since their impromptu phone sex.

Brett hasn’t stopped thinking about it and maybe if he did, he’d get through the week faster but at least he’s finally on his way home! It’s only an Uber ride away and the driver isn’t talkative so Brett can just relax, look out the window, and think back on how hot Aleks sounded and how hot he’s  _ going _ to sound when Brett gets home - because them having sex is no longer a question of  _ “will we?” _ but a question of “ _ how soon will we?” _

He breathes in deeply and rests his hand on his thigh, curling his fingers into the denim while he rests his other arm on top the window.

_ Are we there yet? _

It’s not like Germany was all bad. Much like his trip to the Overwatch World Cup, it was exciting and Brett got to do a lot of cool things and meet interesting people. Lindsey was there too and she’s pretty good about keeping Brett’s head on straight when his mind wanders off. It also gave Brett a moment alone to experiment with that prostate massager…

… but it wasn’t anything worth being written about. It felt good and Brett does wonder why he didn’t do it sooner but it wasn’t like, amazingly overwhelming. He gives it a solid 6/10.

Apart from that, Brett’s excited to use the other toys he bought. He wants to use that collar but that’s best reserved as a birthday present because Aleks’ birthday _is_ just a few days away and Brett would be a terrible best friend if he didn’t buy him anything! He bought Aleks a nice little something else too, a bit on the pricey side but he knows Aleks will love it.

At least he hopes.

_ Buzz buzz. _

Brett swipes his phone from his pocket and looks down at the screen to slide open Aleks’ notification. His lips press tightly together and he digs his nails further into his jeans when he gets a full view of the picture attachment, along with a helpful caption.

**[Aleks]** Lying in your bed waiting for you to fuck me.

The picture itself? It’s Aleks, in Brett’s black shirt (though it’s pretty much Aleks’ now), and he’s kissing the tip of his dildo while looking into the lens of the camera with a look that screams  _ “fuck me stupid” _ , along with a whole slew of other dirty things.

**[Himself] ** On the way to fuck the hell out of you right now!

Brett swallows heavily and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He looks to the driver’s phone and his eyes widen when he sees it’s gonna be half an hour more until they get back to his home and with highly probable traffic, god knows how much longer that will be.

_ I really need to fuck Aleks. _

He hums lowly and sits up in his seat before he hastily reaches into his other pocket for his wallet. “Hey, how much can I pay you to completely disregard the speed limits?” Brett asks as he begins to take out his cash.

The driver looks over to Brett and down to his cash with a grin before he looks out the windshield. “How much do you have?” he asks.

After emptying his entire wallet and patience, they make it back home in record time and Brett is desperate to get the fuck inside his home and then Aleks so he’s quick in leaving the car and grabbing his luggage. He gave the driver all of his emergency money but fucking Aleks when he hasn’t done so in a week is like, an emergency of the highest degree so it was totally necessary.

He races through his front yard… and promptly trips over a stray rock, right onto the grass.

“Ow,” Brett whines and looks ahead to the front door. “Work with me here! I have a hot blonde to please!”

Brett makes it back onto his feet and smooths down his shirt and jeans before he grabs his luggage again. He decides to casually stroll up to the door instead of racing like Maniac Magee and he even makes it to the front door without hurting himself. He opens the door and doesn’t look around the rest of the house, just proceeds up the stairs towards his bedroom, where Aleks is waiting with open arms and by the looks of that picture, an open hole too.

A week without fucking Aleks is not a fate Brett would wish upon anybody. Even with the last trip being 2 weeks, they both feel like they’ve dragged on the same length of time considering all the circumstances, such as time differences and how it affects their availability. He makes a mental note to very gently persuade Aleks to take his citizenship test because he isn’t sure how many times he can leave this country without Aleks.

He stops at the top of the stairs and looks ahead to see that his door is open just a crack. Furrowing his eyebrows together in curiosity, he quietly steps over to look through the crack and  _ fuck, he’s wearing the thigh highs too? _

“I’m daddy’s sexy little slut and it’s all I’ll ever be,” Aleks moans quietly as he continues to steadily thrust the dildo in and out. His head is tilted to the side and his eyes are closed so it doesn’t seem like he notices Brett. “I’m his fucktoy, I…” he sighs and slides the dildo out, tapping the head back and forth against his hole and whatever he says after that, Brett can’t hear it at all.

For what he did hear? It’s a wonderful preview to the night ahead.

Aleks looks absolutely breathtaking lying on Brett’s bed, in his shirt and those thigh highs he knows Brett loves. He newly bleached his hair too and Brett can’t get over how good he looks as a blonde. It really works for him and he thinks it makes Aleks stand out, in the best possible way. Of course, Aleks will stand out in Brett’s eyes above all else no matter what but Brett wants other people to see Aleks the way he does - the ethereal technicolor in an otherwise drab world.

Brett clears his throat and stands up straight, rolls his shoulders back as he pushes open the door. He sets the luggage down on the floor and then looks over to give Aleks his full attention, conveniently at the same moment Aleks gives Brett his.

It’s _main event_ time.

Brett watches as Aleks crawls to the edge of the bed before sitting up on his knees and right as Brett opens his mouth to comment about Aleks’ gorgeous hair, Aleks cuts him off with a crushing kiss and Brett doesn’t have any complaints.

Aleks moans loudly into Brett’s mouth as their lips meet and he wraps an arm around his neck, the other hand holding tightly onto his shoulder while Brett slips his hands around to press firmly on the small of Aleks’ back. Brett hums when their bodies press together, sharing much needed warmth and comfort, and he can feel Aleks’ cock twitching against his stomach but it really isn’t a priority right now when they haven’t kissed in  _ a whole week. _

The desperation coursing through Aleks’ veins is powerful and infectious. Brett was desperate before, so fucking desperate, but knowing Aleks feels the same way allows him to fully express how desperate he really is. He tilts his head and shoves his tongue into Aleks’ mouth without permission but Aleks doesn’t mind at all, in fact, he moans his thanks and pulls his tongue back so Brett can ravage every part of his mouth and claim it for his own.

Brett already knows how this is going to go.

They’re going to go at it rough and take all they can get from each other and with the way Aleks has been acting, Brett’s going to do most of the taking. He’s even doing that right now but in this moment, he wants to show a sense of sensuality and passion - remind Aleks that, as hot as the idea of him completely giving himself up to Brett is, Brett appreciates him for so much more.

Brett’s tongue proceeds with a leisurely exploration and his hands drift over to Aleks’ hips as he kneels up on the bed. He presses in hard with his mouth, enough to hint to Aleks what he wants and Aleks pulls Brett down onto him with a moan as he lies on the bed with Brett easily in between his legs. Brett tips his own hat off his head (for Aleks’ sake) before he cups Aleks’ face with that hand, his thumb gently caressing his cheek.

He fully intends to make Aleks his tonight and he’s going to be that prefabricated picture of dominance that Aleks wants but Brett wants to partake in this slow dance first. The way his tongue slides in Aleks’ mouth, how it glides along his lips, is a display of subtle romance in its gentility.

His care for Aleks’ being, even with the knowledge of what they’re about to do, shows his true intentions in being a gentleman - all that’s missing is some jazz and candles.

But after a few minutes of kissing and only that, it’s time to move forward with the night. They’re well acquainted again and they’ve shown just how much they missed each other but now they need to express how much they miss a _certain something_ from each other.

Aleks squeezes Brett’s sides with his legs and with a grin against Aleks’ lips, Brett brings his other hand back to run up and down along his clothed leg. He bites at Aleks’ bottom lip and drags it out with his teeth before he pulls away to look down into Aleks’ eyes, pure lust aiding in painting that darkest brown and Brett can’t see himself but he imagines his own eyes are the same way.

“Really did everything you can to give me a proper welcome, huh?” Brett asks.

“You’ve been gone for a whole week, daddy,” Aleks breathes as he looks to Brett’s lips, rolling his own back with want. “Wanted to show you how much better and hotter I am than anyone else.”

“You know there’s no one else,” Brett says quietly as he leans his face over Aleks’ again, beckoning Aleks upwards with a finger. “Give me those lips again and let me remind you.”

They engage in one more kiss but it’s more of a lingering touch than anything else and it’s enough to placate Aleks. When they pull away again, Brett sits up on his knees and brings up one of Aleks’ legs, holding it up with one hand while the other dances along the length of the thigh highs encasing the leg. Brett peers into Aleks’ eyes as he curls his fingers tightly into the fabric, stressing it further as he moves his lips to place a trail of featherlight kisses along his leg.

He thought he was going to throw everything to the wind and just fuck Aleks after they were done kissing but fuck, Brett can’t help himself. It’s like everytime they do something together, he has to hint to Aleks what more they can do, what he’s able to offer him that nobody else ever can. Has to show Aleks that his body is a temple to be put together by careful, loving hands, worshipped by absolute gods and angels and placed at the highest caliber of the scale that beauty resides over.

Aleks’ beauty is nothing that scale can ever handle and if you ask Brett, no person can handle it either. He’s still trying to make sense of him and why Aleks has him so tightly wrapped around his finger but it’s not something he wants to unwind himself from.

Aleks hums and arches his back, stretches out his arms before he brings his hands down to wring the hem of his shirt. “I already opened myself so you don’t gotta do anything,” Aleks tells him. “You can just push me down and fuck me and use me however you want.”

Brett quirks a grin and narrows his eyes at Aleks as he bites down hard on his calf through the thigh high, sinking his teeth in hard enough to leave somewhat of a mark. Aleks grunts at the pain but the fiery look in his eyes show that he doesn’t mind it at all.

“Use you, huh?” Brett repeats. “What does that all entail?”

“Everything you can think of, daddy,” Aleks breathes as he watches Brett back away to stand at the edge of the bed. He sits up on his knees and follows him to the edge before he settles back on his haunches. “I’m your fucktoy. It’s all I’ll ever be for you so do what you want with me. I’ll love every single thing you do to me, I promise.”

Brett’s not a stranger to going full force in domination. He’s had girlfriends and a few guys who were into that but it’s all different coming from Aleks who, in his words, is a  _ “fucking power bottom connoisseur, dude!” _ All of this is so much hotter and means so much more coming from somebody who admittedly isn’t too into this.

But here Aleks is, calling himself a fucktoy and telling Brett that he can do whatever he wants with him. Brett doesn’t think he deserves this privilege but he’s a rational man.

He’s a logical, sensible man.

When a hot blonde twink throws themselves at you, it just makes sense to destroy them.

Brett purses his lips with a nod and squints his eyes together. He rubs his chin in pseudo contemplation while his other hand grabs ahold of his belt buckle, the fingers grazing along the bulge in his jeans. “Well, it’s been awhile since my favorite fucktoy sucked me off,” he says. “How about you uh, hop off that bed and get down on your knees where you belong?”

“Yes, daddy.”

No witty retort? No joking? He’s… wow, he’s really just dropping to his knees right in front of Brett, huh? Aleks isn’t taking any shortcuts with this whole submission thing, he’s going full force into it like Brett plans to with his dominance. It’s different but in a good way. 

Who else can say they were able to tame _Aleks?_

Brett drops his hands and moves one to card the fingers through the blonde strands at the top of Aleks’ head to slightly tug him face first against his bulge. Aleks moans as his face makes contact with the denim and he closes his eyes as he mouths at Brett’s erection through his jeans, the both of his hands moving up to grab onto his belt for anchorage.

Brett can’t deny how good this feels but he’s the one in charge. Aleks can’t just do that by his own volition, he needs to exercise some level of patience, so Brett roughly tugs him back by his hair. He brings his other hand down to, very gently, slap Aleks’ cheek and Aleks is so shocked that he can’t make a noise.

“I didn’t tell you to do that,” Brett says lowly. “You wait for my instructions, understand?”

He just stares up at Brett with widened eyes and parted open lips and… honestly, it makes Brett feel like he’s doing something wrong.

_ Oh my god, Aleks is never going to wanna do this with me again! _

Brett swallows and looks back and forth as he loosens the grip on Aleks’ hair. “Uh, did I go too far?” he asks on a wavering edge as he looks back down to Aleks. “I don’t know-”

“Do it harder,” Aleks breathes out in mystification. “Please.”

“You want it _harder?”_ Brett asks while his eyes widen in disbelief.

“Oh my god, _Brett,_ you’re the fucking dominant one here, you’re supposed to do what you fucking want with me,” Aleks sighs and slams his eyes shut as he settles on his knees. “We’ll use the color system, okay? Red means stop, yellow means to cool it a little, and green means fine. You’re so fucking green right now. Slap me, dude, fucking throw me around, I’m into that shit.”

“But what if it really hurts?”

“Good. Make it hurt.”

“I just don’t-“

“Stop being a pussy!” Aleks opens his eyes to give Brett his attention. “Just fucking-“

Aleks cries out as Brett slaps him much harder across the face and he whines when Brett roughly tugs him back by his hair again.

“Shut the fuck up,” Brett growls. “Now take out daddy’s cock and suck him off and you better do it real well because it’s the only lube you’re gonna get tonight.”

“Okay, I-I’m sorry!” Aleks whimpers as he brings up his shaky hands to undo Brett’s belt. “I’ll suck you so good, I promise.”

Brett hums his content and loosens the grip so he can run his fingers back through Aleks’ hair in a soothing manner. “Good boy,” he murmurs. “When you get it out, I want you to only use your mouth. Don’t touch it at all and don’t touch yourself at all, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, daddy,” Aleks answers while tossing the belt to the side.

“What did I say?”

“I can only use my mouth. I-I can’t touch your cock at all. Or mine,” Aleks repeats as he looks up to Brett for his approval.

Looking back down to Aleks, Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and allows a smirk to pull up the corner of his lips. “Maybe you _are_ more than just a fucktoy,” Brett tells him. “But I shouldn’t praise you for doing the bare minimum, right?”

“No, daddy.” Aleks shakes his head. “I’m just a fucktoy.”

For somebody who is usually averse to doing this, Aleks is a natural. It sort of makes Brett wonder if he’s the first guy Aleks has actually done this sort of thing with and that’s a nice thought, being Aleks’ first, but there has to be some guy Aleks has tried it with that made him think  _ “you know what? Acting like a bitch isn’t for me.”  _ yet he looked at Brett and thought,  _ “you know what? Maybe acting like a bitch for him wouldn’t be so bad,” _ and more power to him because Brett is fucking loving this.

Aleks doesn’t want him to hold back and now that it’s evident, Brett is eager to see how Aleks will respond to the dirtier actions and words he uses because Brett’s just been scraping the surface. It’s time for him to dive deep, so deep that they’re stuck and can’t ever come back up.

Aleks closes his eyes and leans in to bite down on Brett’s zipper, reaching his hands up to hold onto Brett’s thighs as he pulls the zipper down with his teeth and then he undoes his jeans the rest of the way. He catches a whiff of Brett’s musk but he remembers what happened the last time he did that without asking so with a whine, he shakes his head and tries to will that urge away as he pulls down Brett’s briefs enough to reveal the thickness it was hiding.

Brett grabs ahold of his shaft and guides Aleks forward so he can smack the tip of it against his lips. “Open up real wide for daddy, come on,” he says in a sweet tone. “Get those pretty lips ready… there you go,” he sighs as Aleks wraps his lips around him and then the both of his hands come together to rest on the back of Aleks’ head. “Look into daddy’s eyes, baby.”

Aleks flickers his eyes upwards to cast his gaze into Brett’s and his eyes start to squint together when Brett soothingly scratches at his scalp, he even hums around him in approval, but he keeps them open so he can keep being a _good boy._

“Don’t take your eyes off me,” Brett tells him. “Got it?”

Aleks nods and moves his hands to hold onto the open flaps of Brett’s jeans as he moves forth with the current task at hand, or his mouth, to be more specific.

There’s something different in the way Aleks sucks him off compared to the other times. Aleks is always eager, always doing it like he has something to prove but right now he’s doing it like it’s his life purpose to just suck cock until he no longer can’t. Aleks doesn’t pause or stop to get his breath at all and there’s no signs of him stopping.

His mouth is so quick, it’s so _wet,_ and Brett is left in this state of perpetual moaning because it feels so good, and Aleks looks _so hot._ Fuck, Aleks is so damn hot and that’s the main reason for the difference.

Aleks is at his hottest when he’s eager and desperate - simply put, Aleks in the most vulnerable position is a sight to behold. When he’s vulnerable, all he wants is to make Brett happy, to please him, to… to serve as a damn fuckdoll, almost, and Brett wonders, for the millionth time, how he got _so lucky._

Brett’s cock slips out and Aleks whines, tightens his hold on Brett’s jeans as he slides his tongue out to lap at the head. He then relaxes with a hum the musky taste of Brett ingrains itself in his tastebuds again. His tongue trails down the shaft to follow the vein, down the middle of his balls, before taking one into his mouth and Brett moans as Aleks laves both sets with his tongue, with the utmost affection and adoration before he licks a path back up.

Aleks’ tongue presses hard on Brett’s cock, pushing it back all the way to Brett’s body and when he lets go, he quickly wraps his lips back around the head to suck him off quickly like before, taking as much as he can given that gag reflex but they’ve sort of been working on that.

In fact, Aleks seems determined to show Brett how their efforts have paid off when he pulls back up to the tip, breathes in deeply, and then goes back down to deepthroat him entirely.

“Fuuuck,” Brett groans and throws his head back as the pleasure courses through him. “What a good boy you are. That’s what daddy needs, baby.”

It’s quite evident how eager Aleks is to please and he’s doing it with flying colors. Brett makes a note to tell Aleks how great he is at like, anything and everything as soon as they’re done but he needs to be **big bad Brett** right now so even when Aleks is being good, so good, so much more good than he’s ever been at any point in his life, Brett needs to keep establishing his place.

For the purposes of right now, that’s above Aleks. Aleks is beneath him. He is simply a fucktoy for his pleasure and that’s all he’ll ever be. Sort of like how_ this_ is all they’ll ever be but Aleks is worth it.

Brett breathes out a shuddering moan and looks back down into Aleks’ eyes as he brings a hand from his head and over to his nose. He pinches his nostrils together to effectively block off all breathing avenues and he tilts his head, raises his eyebrows at Aleks to silently ask,  _ what are you going to do about it? _

And god damnit, Aleks still looks up into his eyes. He hasn’t taken his eyes off Brett once and even when he starts whimpering, starts to drag his own nails along the material of his thigh thighs just to keep himself sane, he doesn’t make any attempts to pull off. He is completely at Brett’s mercy and, at the lowest iteration, his life is in Brett’s hands but he still chooses Brett over that.

Brett feels like a god that can end Aleks’ life with the snap of his fingers but he could never ever do that to somebody as precious as him. No, he only _teases,_ only _tests,_ and Aleks is passing that test with, well, flying colors.

When Aleks starts to gag around him, starts to furiously scratch at his thigh highs, Brett finally lets go of Aleks’ nose and pulls him off his cock entirely. Aleks has a bit of a coughing fit and gasps continuously for air, his eyes blown open wide as he looks up at Brett, _ oh fuck, that’s a tear, is he really crying? _

“Are you okay?” Brett asks. “What color are we?”

Aleks coughs again and swallows, taking a deep breath before meekly answering, “green.”

_ Green. _

After that stunt and they’re still on green. What the hell is his threshold?

Brett doesn’t want to find out the full extent (so he tells himself) but it’s something worth toying with. He’s not a sadist if he’s giving Aleks what he wants and Aleks uh, really wants it as rough as Brett can give it. The problem is that Brett hasn’t shown Aleks just how rough and dirty he can be so he wonders how much Aleks can really take.

“Think you can take more?” Brett asks.

“Yes,” Aleks breathes out with a nod. “Gimme more, Brett, please.”

Brett blows out a breath and beckons Aleks forward to him again and when Aleks resumes his position, Brett tilts his head up by his chin and asks, “really couldn’t wait for daddy to get back and fuck you, huh?”

Aleks shakes his head. “No,” he answers. “I need you to fuck me, daddy. I told you that I’m nothing without you.”

“Right. You just need daddy to fill that hole, huh?”

Aleks bites down on his lips to stifle the grin desperate to break out across his face,  _ did he mean to make that a pun? _ , and he slams his eyes shut. He lets go of his lips with a whine and pouts as he opens his eyes to look at Brett again. “Yes, daddy,” he says. “I’m your two holed fuckdoll.”

_ That’s a new one. _

“And we already fucked one of them,” Brett points out. “How about we fuck the other?”

“Fuck yes, please, daddy.”

“I thought so. Up on your feet,” Brett orders as he lets go of Aleks’ chin. He waits for Aleks to stand right back up before he suddenly turns him around. He forces one of Aleks’ arms behind his back, pins it there with one hand, and his other arm wraps around the front of Aleks’ chest so he can press the front of his body to the back of Aleks’.

“Now lay on your back,” Brett whispers into his ear, “and spread your legs like a good boy so daddy can show you just how much he’s missed his most precious fucktoy.”

After letting go of Aleks, Brett pushes him onto the bed and as Aleks gets into position, Brett pulls down his briefs and jeans to step out of them, kicking them off to the side. Once those annoying articles are out of the picture, Brett climbs back onto the bed and makes his way in between Aleks’ legs like before.

Brett’s sat up on spread knees and he uses that as an opportunity to throw the bottom half of Aleks’ legs over his thighs and he can feel his thigh highs brushing against his skin, such a soft touch but a reminder that Aleks is wearing these for him, doing all these things for _him,_ and he’s taking it with no complaints.

Aleks is Brett’s gift and why exactly he received it, Brett doesn’t know, probably never will, but he won’t take it for granted.

His precious gift is still wearing that damn shirt and as much as he likes it when Aleks wears his things (too much for his own good), he wants to see all of him. He wants to admire his _fucktoy_ in all of its tattooed glory so he pushes up at the sides of Aleks’ shirt and groans, “get this off right now” and Aleks helps in removing that article so it can be thrown to the pile of clothes.

Aleks falls back onto the bed with his hands pliant by the sides of his head and he moans, “fuck me, daddy. Fill me up again, _please,”_ all while he stares up into Brett’s with the most pleading expression.

“Wow, when did we become such an impatient slut?” Brett laughs but despite his own words, he’s actually a bit impatient himself because he doesn’t wait to push inside Aleks. He just does it without a second thought and he presses in all the way until the entirety of his thickness is drowning in Aleks’ liquid heat.

That familiar long mewl Aleks gives when Brett fills him again is the most satisfyingly beautiful sound in the world and if Brett could only listen to that for the rest of his life, then that would be a damn fine existence.

_“Oh, fuck,”_ Aleks gasps and brings the both of his hands down to feel around and he can confirm that yes, Brett _is _inside him again and he moans at the knowledge. “Daddy, you feel so good inside me,” he moans loudly. “I missed being fucked by you so much- fuck!” he whines and slams his eyes shut when the both of Brett’s hands suddenly wrap around his throat and his hands return to their position by the sides of his head - the new biggest indicator of his willingness to be a good boy.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Brett breathes. “I’m your god. Say it again, angel.”

“Y-You’re my god,” Aleks whimpers and opens his eyes, wets his lips before he gasps out, “I-I’m your filthy little angel and you own me.”

“What do I own, exactly?” Brett asks as he tightens his grip.

Aleks coughs and gasps again as his eyes widen. “Everything,” Aleks breathes. “You own everything about me. I’m completely yours.”

“And what are you without me?”

“Nothing! I’m _nothing.”_

He’s good. Too good. In Brett’s eyes, he really is an angel and he’s an angel that really needs to be corrupted.

Brett once told Aleks that he was gonna wreck every beautiful thing about him and he might not have fulfilled it that particular night but that looks to be a sure thing on this night. Brett’s going to tear apart everything that makes Aleks this perfect picture of beauty and afterwards, he’ll put Aleks back together - more beautiful than before.

“You are _beneath_ me,” Brett growls as his hand tightens to choke Aleks harder than before and just like that, and Aleks cries out louder but the void successfully swallows his cry and the only noises that leave his mouth now are pathetic little gasps and whimpers.

But Aleks still looks at him like a god.

His hands still lie by his head and show no signs of doing anything to stop Brett. Aleks’ face is growing redder, his tears are multiplying, and Brett would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel bad at all. There’s a need to wrap Aleks in his arms and reassure him that it’s just an act and that he’s doing so good, that Brett places him on the highest pedestal in his life but Aleks _wants_ this.

Brett wants this too, of course. It’s ridiculously hot to see Aleks like this and he wouldn’t be doing this right now if he didn’t think that but he’s also really eager to go crazy on aftercare afterwards.

Right now, Brett can’t interact with that side of him at all. He needs to keep pushing it aside to be the dom that Aleks wants.

“You’re just here to serve me,” Brett says firmly. “Is that clear?”

“Yes,” Aleks rasps out.

“Yes what?”

Aleks swallows and slams his eyes shut as he curls his fingers into the flesh of his palms. “Yes, daddy,” he breathes.

“And that’s what daddy wants to hear.”

Brett finally lets go of Aleks’ throat and he doesn’t even give Aleks time to recuperate before he’s holding himself up by his arms on either side of Aleks to immediately begin with merciless thrusts, loud moans and groans falling from his lips every other thrust or so.

“Oh my god, _fuck!”_ Aleks loudly moans and arches his back as his hands surge forward to grab onto Brett’s shirt, wringing the fabric tightly into his hands for some sort of purchase, _any_ kind, and his head throws back against the bed while his eyes slam shut. “Right there, daddy! Don’t stop, oh god, please don’t stop!”

Although Brett’s the one in charge, he obeys Aleks’ demand and continues to fuck him like he’s being paid for it. Brett might be the dominant one calling the shots but it’s really Aleks who’s controlling this entire situation, as he has with their arrangement thus far. He’s the one that convinced Brett to fuck him and he was the one that told Brett what exactly _this_ is.

In reality, Brett’s the pawn and Aleks is the chessmaster that allows Brett the illusion of power and Brett doesn’t mind that in the slightest.

Aleks has Brett’s mind and soul in shackles and Brett is the willing servant. Aleks could tell Brett to jump and Brett would ask how high. He could ask Brett to lie down and be his bitch and Brett would spread his legs to offer himself entirely because Aleks is worth doing everything for.

For Aleks to allow Brett the honor to see him like this is a treasure that Brett will cherish so he’s going to go as hard as he can, as rough as he can, and he’ll destroy everything about Aleks. 

If this is what Aleks wants from him, then Brett will give it his all because why wouldn’t he give the whole world and a bit more for the one that’s completely broken Brett down and built him back up into being solely _his?_ Aleks doesn’t know it but that’s not exactly something Brett can control.

He’s too far gone to consider the life he had before Aleks completely took him over. Maybe it was easier and less work, but then the best things in life never are so easy, are they?


	7. Masters Of Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting deep in each other the physical way, Aleks and Brett then get deep with each other in an emotional way.

Aleks can absolutely believe that Brett is his god because Brett is fucking him like one right now.

They haven’t been at it too long but it feels like they have, because Brett didn’t even wait to start fucking him stupid. It hurts, sure, and the loss of the lube is a big part of that but fuck, that pain is so good. It’s a blisteringly scorching fire that burns bright and incinerates those parts of Aleks that tells him this should feel bad.

The pain keeps Aleks within the confines of reality. The reality at the moment is somewhat topsy turvy, because Aleks is crying out and writhing like a total bitch but Brett isn’t holding back and treating him like some fragile China. That has its own good uses but sometimes when they have sex, Aleks wants to be tossed and smacked around, which is done anyways but it’s so much more satisfying when he’s in this vulnerable state.

They’re not too close to being done but already, Aleks knows that he wants to keep doing this with Brett, over and over again.

Aleks moans when Brett leaves the next hickey on his neck. He isn’t sure how many Brett has left on him so far, definitely an exuberant amount that he’ll have to actually cover, but Brett could mark every square inch of his body and that’d be just fine.

Brett sits back up and grabs ahold of Aleks’ hips to dig his nails bruisingly hard into the skin while he looks down between them to watch himself thrust in and out. “That’s more like it,” he breathes. “You’re really daddy’s sexy little slut now. Say it.”

“I-I’m… oh fuck.” Aleks bites down hard on his bottom lip with a whine as he moves his hands down to grab ahold of Brett’s. “I’m, I-I’m daddy’s sexy little slut.”

“What else?”

“I’m his fucktoy. A-And his fuckdoll.”

“And?”

“I’m his filthy little angel,” Aleks gasps and looks up at Brett.

“And daddy loves how filthy you are, babe,” Brett moans and looks down into Aleks’ eyes. “You’d do anything just for me and my cock, huh?”

“I would, I would!” Aleks nods quickly. “I love being full of you.”

When Brett is all the way inside him like this, it’s the only time Aleks is properly satisfied. His senses drown in Brett and all he knows is _Brett,_ nothing else. 

It’s one of the reasons, he thinks, that he’s quickly getting used to acting like this for him. He would’ve done anything for Brett in the first place so it’s not hard to take that to the highest level, compared to Aleks’ past hookups and relationships where he’d need a lot more persuasion into that side.

But things that never made sense before, make sense with Brett.

“What if you could be full with daddy all the time?” Brett asks. “I could plug you up. Would you want that? Walking around with daddy’s come inside you, huh?”

“Yes, daddy, yes!” Aleks exclaims. “Thank you, _thank you,_ you’re such a good daddy to me.”

Aleks knows what the purpose of a buttplug is and he understands how that can be hot, from somebody who loves to be full, but he’s never had a buttplug inside him before. His hookups would always wear condoms and the very few boyfriend’s he’s had were never too into that sort of thing and the one that was, well, he wore condoms.

So he’s not against it. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

He just never thought Brett would be into that. He also never thought Brett would be into guys, or inside him, but here Brett is now, balls deep inside his ass and fucking the hell out of him.

He doesn’t think Brett will follow through on it tonight but it’s a hot thought nonetheless and it increases the pleasure that flows through Aleks’ body. It hastens and does a sudden dive into his stomach to slowly branch throughout and the familiar pressure is bubbling low, his ass is clenching tightly around Brett, fuck, he’s so close.

Aleks hates the sobbing noise that escapes his mouth when Brett brings the both of his hands up to choke him (gently!) again and that’s what he can handle, but he’s not able to handle Brett coming to a full stop.

Brett lowers his mouth by Aleks’ ear and the way he talks into it is low and dangerous and makes Aleks shiver, makes him whine at how threatening he sounds.

**“Don’t. You. Fucking.** **Dare,”** Brett growls. “Don’t you **dare** come.”

Aleks closes his eyes tightly and brings his hands up to grasp at Brett’s shoulders to wring the shirt material tightly in his hands. His eyes open again for a stray tear to roll down his cheek and he whines, “but I’m _so close,_ daddy-”

“Are you?” Brett asks. “Well if you want it so damn bad, how about you **beg** for it?”

“Please!” Aleks whimpers. “Please, let me come!”

**“Louder,” **Brett growls through gritted teeth.

“Let me come, daddy!” Aleks cries out, his toes curling within his thigh highs.

“Not good enough,” Brett says quietly and it sounds sweet but really, it’s just condescending. “Try again.”

“I need to come, let me come!” Aleks gasps. “I’m a good boy, daddy!” He whimpers when Brett tightens the hold around his throat ever so much and he whines louder, closes his eyes to hold back the tears but then he opens them again and they flow down his cheeks anyways.

“You can do so much better than that,” Brett chuckle is a low rumble against Aleks’ ear. “I know how good you can beg. Don’t be pathetic, come on, now.” And his hands let go of Aleks’ throat to instead frame Aleks’ face in his hands and Aleks moves his own to rest on top of Brett’s as they stare into each other’s eyes.

“Aleks,” Brett says firmly. “When I tell you to beg, I want you to **beg.** Don’t you dare hold back from me.”

Ugh, this would be so much better if he didn’t have to beg. He would’ve done this sort of thing sooner if begging wasn’t part of it but he’s been doing it for, well, practically the whole night anyways. He just hates being told to do so as opposed to just doing it himself.

But Brett’s right. He’s been holding back on the begging, and Aleks wants to be a good boy, the_ best_ boy, so he needs to beg for his life and his life is in Brett’s rough, yet oddly tender, loving hands.

Aleks swallows and closes his eyes, bites down hard on his lips as he wills up the energy to tap into that fully vulnerable state. He takes a few deep breaths and when he opens his eyes to stare at Brett, who’s looking at Aleks in that exact way that made Aleks want to be submissive for him from the very start, he knows this is all worth it, and it’s worth coming back to.

He’s looking at Aleks like a god again. It’s the best feeling in the world, better than coming, and better than being fucked.

Aleks begins to whimper and quietly cry out. “Please let your fucktoy come, daddy,” he begs. “It’s what I’m made to do. I-I’m made to be fucked by you, a-and to come all because of you. Don’t you want me to come? D-Don’t you wanna see h-how pretty I look when I make a mess all over myself?”

Brett breathes out hotly against Aleks’ lips and Aleks’ eyes flutter shut, his lips parting open with another whine but that whine is satiated when Brett silences him with a kiss. It’s quick but it’s all Aleks needs to know that he did _good,_ he’s a _good boy._

“Very good boy,” Brett praises before he drops his head into Aleks’ neck. As he wraps his arms around Aleks’ neck, he continues with his harsh thrusts again and he just barely purrs, “go ahead and come for me.”

Aleks doubts he’s gonna come just because Brett told him too, he did just fucking stop out of nowhere-

“Oh fuck, Brett!” Aleks gasps and widens his eyes at the ceiling before he lulls his head back, eyes fluttering back shut. “Ah, _fuck me,_ just like that!”

Sometimes Aleks needs to accept that Brett has a way of getting Aleks to do whatever he wants in the bedroom. Consensually, of course.

The pleasure is quick to pick up where it left off and it comes back more powerful than before. His body heats to a fever pitch, to his fingers and all the way down to his toes and a minute later, it reaches the pinnacle of ecstasy as Aleks empties over his own stomach with a loud cry.

Brett keeps fucking him all the way through his climax and even afterwards when Aleks is at his most sensitive. When Aleks is like this, the pleasure is almost too much but Brett’s thrusts are degrading into choppy movements of the hips so when Brett’s close to coming, Aleks can hold on for him. He can hold _onto_ him and breathe in his familiar cinnamon vanilla cologne that’s now tinted with hints of sex but that makes it better, makes it more of an intoxicating aroma for Aleks to submerge himself in.

Brett’s so warm too and his entire body squanders Aleks in size. It blankets Aleks in safety and even when Brett chokes him, such a potentially dangerous act, that safety doesn’t waver in the slightest. He completely trusts Brett with his life.

A burst of warmth floods through him when Brett kisses his cheek and it only grows warmer when Brett moves to whisper into his ear, “gonna take my load like a good boy?”

“Yes, daddy,” Aleks answers softly. “Please fill me up, I’ve been such a good boy and I deserve it~”

“You gonna let daddy plug that tight ass up?"

Aleks closes his eyes with a moan and moves his head to murmur into Brett's ear, “fill and plug up your good boy, daddy.”

Much like Brett telling Aleks to come was all Aleks needed for his climax, those words are enough to bring Brett into his. His thrusts quicken into rapid movements and as the pleasure fully hits him, they slow down into long, yet hard drags of the hips and with a loud, shuddering groan against Aleks’ ear, he releases against his inner walls and Aleks moans at the familiar feeling of being full again.

“Thank you,” Aleks breathes.

“No, thank you,” Brett breathes back before he kisses Aleks’ cheek. “Fuck, you were so damn hot. Everything you did, everything you _said,”_ he chuckles, “you’re gonna kill me. Where the hell did you learn how to do all of that?”

With a smile at the much needed praise, Aleks wraps his arms around the backs of Brett’s shoulders. “Some of it was research. Some of it was going with the flow. Some of it was just saying shit and hoping it worked. I was practicing a little before you came in here.”

“Ahhh.” Brett kisses along Aleks’ jaw. “So that’s what I heard before I came in here…”

“You were listening? Pervert.”

“I’d be a pervert if I was watching… which I probably did. For like, a minute.”

“I’m pressing charges tomorrow.”

“And then I’ll go to jail and who else can fuck you like me, huh?”

Aleks’ grin shifts into a soft smile and he looks the other way as the heat rises to his cheeks. “Nobody,” he admits.

“That’s what I thought,” Brett chuckles and sits up on his knees to look down at Aleks and his eyes widen when he sees his very red neck. “Wow, I went overboard with the marks. I don’t know what happened-”

“Just got carried away.” Aleks shrugs and looks back to Brett. “I don’t mind. Now go get that plug, I wanna know what it feels like.”

Brett frowns a little and scratches at the back of his head while he brings the other hand down to grab his shaft. “But you liked everything that happened, right? You liked uh, being choked and talked down to?”

“Fuck yeah I did, dude,” Aleks assures him. He hisses a little in pain when Brett pulls out and while Brett goes to grab the plug, he grabs a tissue from the nightstand to wipe off his stomach. “It was just different, doing all of that when I’m not being like-”

“A power bottom connoisseur?” Brett looks back to Aleks with a small grin before he bends over to open his luggage.

Aleks throws the tissue successfully into the trash and when he looks back to Brett, specifically his ass, he purses his lips and tilts his head. “Uh… yeah, you got it.”

He wouldn’t mind fucking that ass one day. Brett’s like, really good at fucking the hell out of him and he can dirty talk like a damn professional but he’s also ridiculously sweet. And nice. And he’s got a nice voice on top of it all that would sound so nice if he was begging Aleks to fuck him harder or faster or whatever the fuck.

Brett would make for a very nice bottom if given the chance.

Submitting to Brett was a lot of fun and Aleks is excited to see what else lies in store on that front, but he won’t be like this all the time. It’s like apples and oranges, the game of domination and submission - both roles have their own set of perks. Aleks has now realized the perks of giving himself up entirely but he hasn’t forgotten the perks about the other side at all, the side he’s usually so accustomed to.

Right now, Aleks wants to continue being Brett’s good boy. He wants Brett to have that power over him, to take care of him. In the future, that’ll still be a possibility - much like being a power bower bottom and dominating Brett, is a possibility. He’s down to do anything with that man.

Aleks topping Brett… wouldn’t that be something?

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together when the buttplug comes into view and then he lets out a loud laugh. “Dude, what the fuck is that?”

There’s cow prints all over it! Aleks will let it in him but he was expecting something in a solid color. Something not so. Laughable.

“It’s the plug!” Brett tells him. “Lindsey found it.”

“Did you tell Lindsey the juicy deets about our sex life?”

“Aleks, come on,” Brett scoffs. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I gotta trust you if I’m willing to let you choke me out. You took away my breathing at one point too, that was strangely erotic.”

Aleks’ throat is going to feel it in the morning with how hard Brett was choking him but god damn, that’s what Aleks is talking about! Aleks feels so much better about himself when he can take all the rough shit thrown onto him. It makes him feel more… manly? Tough?

Like, he's pretty but he doesn't want somebody to think he's bratty and spoiled and needs to be treated like a princess. He can be bratty, but he doesn't want to be treated like a _princess._

He much prefers being treated like an angel.

“You chose sucking my dick over breathing,” Brett points out. “That kinda thing makes a man feel good,” he says as he climbs onto the bed to get back between Aleks’ legs. “Relax, okay? I’m about to put it in.”

Aleks reaches back for the pillow to put it under his head and he looks down the length of his body. “Wanted to be a good boy,” Aleks tells him. “Have you used a buttplug before?”

“It certainly did the trick. And I’ve used it like… once,” Brett answers as he grabs the lube so he can drizzle it over the plug. “Had a girlfriend who wanted to try it out but after that, she decided it wasn’t her thing.”

Honestly, Aleks was sort of expecting the buttplug stuff to be fucktalk. He didn't expect for them to put it into practice, but watching Brett squeeze the lube out over the plug makes it that much more real to Aleks that he's about to have something up his ass for an extended period of time.

But it's somewhat Brett up his ass so it's totally worth it.

Aleks swallows and takes a deep breath. “Speaking of… you uh, have any luck with girls? Or guys?”

Brett shakes his head. “Haven’t really looked. What about you?”

“Yeah I uh, haven’t looked either,” Aleks chuckles. “Just asking.”

Aleks hasn’t looked because he’s perfectly fine fucking Brett for the rest of his life. Brett’s just not looking because he… he’s really into fucking Aleks! It’s still a new thing, or it’s relatively new. God, how long have they-

“Can you believe we’ve been doing this for a month?” Brett asks with a chuckle as he pushes the plug past the rim. “Feels like it was yesterday we were stammering like idiots trying to explain what friends with benefits are.”

Aleks bites down on his lips when the plug is placed inside and he reaches his hand down to feel at the base. “Now I think we’re supposed to be idiots trying to explain what just happened.”

“Yeah, tonight was uh… a pretty big step.” Brett smacks his lips together and looks down to the plug. “We definitely should talk about it but first, how about you get dressed in something comfortable and while you do that, I get you something to eat. You want your blueberry PopTarts? Hot chocolate? Anything, just say the word.”

“Hot chocolate would be really nice.” Aleks smiles at Brett as he sits up on his knees. “Put marshmallows in it too. And you said anything?”

“Anything at all.”

“Like… really? Anything?”

“You tell me to jump and I’ll ask how high.”

Brett is so damn sweet and in moments like these, Aleks wonders how anybody could ever find it in themselves to not like him.

How can they not see Brett the way Aleks does? How do they not look at Brett and immediately compare him as the moon to their stars?

There are actually people out there who go on with life not knowing who Brett is. They live their lives completely normal and Brett doesn’t cloud their senses at all, they don’t think about Brett constantly and_ they’re_ _ fine with it. _

Aleks understands doing anything for Brett because he deserves it but Brett, this beautiful god of a man, would do anything for him?

_ Why me? _

It’s not something to think about tonight, only when he’s alone with himself and his thoughts. So Aleks just continues to smile at Brett, like Brett isn’t the sentience his mind orbits itself around, and he asks, “can I sleep with you tonight?”

Brett smiles back at Aleks, the same way Aleks does with him, and he leans in to leave a gentle peck to his lips. “Of course you can sleep with me,” he whispers before pulling away. “Get dressed, okay? I’ll be back.”

When Brett climbs off the bed and leaves the room, Aleks watches him in a dream like trance. It seems like the perfect time to ponder why Brett goes to such lengths for him but he actually doesn’t have much time to ponder it at all. He’d need hours and hours of time to think about why the hell Brett places him at such high importance, why Brett thinks he’s so beyond description of any kind.

_ If he thinks I’m so beyond description, why doesn’t he like me? _

Aleks’ shoulders slump and he frowns a little as he climbs off the bed to grab the shirt he was wearing when Brett walked in here, the shirt of Brett’s that he stole back at RTX that one morning.

_ “Are you aware that you’ll have fucked 50% of the breakfast table?” Brett asks. _

_ Aleks grins and suggestively waggles his eyebrows. “Hell yeah, dude,” he chuckles. “Wouldn’t mind bumping that up to 75%.” _

_ “Suptic is engaged, bro. You’re good looking but uh,” Brett hisses through his teeth and crosses his arms over his chest, “that ain’t gonna beat true love.” _

_ “Wasn’t talking about Suptic.” Aleks winks at Brett and looks him up and down as he climbs off the bed, his sweatpants dipping a bit lower on his body. “Too twinky for my tastes.” _

_ Brett looks to the ground with a chuckle. “Wow uh, you’re ridiculous, dude.” _

_ “So are you,” Aleks counters as he picks up the nearest shirt available on Brett’s bed. “Ridiculously** hot,** that is.” He winks again and clicks his tongue accompanied by a finger gun before he slips the shirt on, a basic black t-shirt with a small pocket in the chest. _

_ “Uh, that’s my shirt,” Brett points out with furrowed eyebrows. _

_ “I called you ridiculously hot and that’s what you’re focusing on?” _

The days when Brett was the one openly getting flustered whenever Aleks would (jokingly!) flirt with him are long behind them and strangely enough, Aleks finds himself acting like he did back when he first realized he liked Brett - a lovestruck young adult that wanted nothing more to impress him.

_ Some things never change but I wish some things really could. _

Aleks sits on the bed so he can slip off the thigh highs and he leaves them on the floor. Then he sits up on his knees, spreading them out while he leans forward. One hand plants itself on the bed to hold himself up while he moves the other hand down the length of his body to press at his plug and his eyes lid shut with a soft moan, partly at the stimulation, partly at the knowledge that Brett is still inside him.

He doesn’t know how long it’ll stay in for and he actually doesn’t want it in too long because it’s somewhat uncomfortable but then he does because the longer it’s in, the longer _Brett_ is in and Aleks wishes he could stay inside him all the time.

Aleks sits back on his knees before he climbs off the bed to go into his bedroom to grab his boxers. After slipping them on, he comes back into Brett’s room to snuggle up under his covers - blue and white, the colors that Aleks now resonates with_ home._

He raises his eyebrows and looks up when he hears Brett’s footsteps and he smiles when he sees that Brett is holding his mug… and when he realizes Brett is just wearing a shirt, only the shirt, he chuckles. “You gonna put on pants at all?”

_ Please don't. _

“Nah.” Brett shakes his head and turns off the lights. He walks to the bed and as he hands Aleks the hot chocolate, he leans in to steal a quick peck before he climbs in bed beside him. “You’ve seen it before. You had it in you just now so what’s the point in hiding it?”

“I’m wearing pants. Sort of.”

“How long do you think they’ll stay on?”

“Depends on what you’re planning to do with me.” Aleks grins at Brett as Brett sidles closer and his grin widens when Brett wraps his arms around him from the side to hug him tightly.

“Whatever you want,” Brett murmurs into his ear. “You’re so… I don’t even know.” He shrugs. “I’d do anything for you, sex or not.”

Aleks takes a long sip of his hot chocolate and slips a marshmallow into his mouth with his tongue. He hums when it goes down his throat and it soothes the aches that were starting to build up. “Why though?” he asks before he sets the mug on the nightstand. “I’m not really that special.”

“Aleks, how does it feel to be so wrong?” Brett asks as he tightens the hold around him and Aleks brings his hands down to hold onto Brett’s safe, strong arms. “You’re very special.”

“Bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Don’t meme,” Brett says quietly. “I mean it. You’re so creative and passionate and you’re so unlike anybody else I know. You’re so unique and it’s just… it’s captivating.” He rests his chin on Aleks’ shoulder and looks up to him. “Do you believe me?”

_ Yes, _ Aleks really does believe him but he still doesn’t get it. Brett doesn’t like him but he feels this strongly and Aleks can’t comprehend it. Maybe it’s just real strong platonic love, the love a person has for a family member or a best friend and that’s understandable but… well, maybe that’s all it is.

That’s all it’ll ever be.

He’s just trying to find something more but he never will.

He sighs through his nose and looks down to Brett, who raises his eyebrows at Aleks and smiles and Aleks sighs again, closes his eyes and rests his head on top of Brett’s. “You’re sweet,” he says. “And nice. And stuff.”

“And stuff,” Brett repeats with a chuckle. “Very intelligible.”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Music to my ears,” Brett sighs and lies back on the bed, pulling Aleks down with him in the process and he loosens his hold to allow Aleks to scramble into a more comfortable position.

Aleks slips a leg in between one of Brett’s and then he throws the covers over Brett as well. He rests his head against the crook of Brett’s neck and wraps an arm around his chest, smiling and humming his approval when Brett wraps the both of his arms around him.

“Feeling better, baby?” Brett whispers.

Aleks nods. “Yeah. Thanks, daddy." He looks to Brett, his smile shifting into more of a smirk now.

“Right, we need to talk about this,” Brett says. “What we just did. Super hot but uh, that was heavy stuff. Feel like we should set a few rules or… something.”

Yeah, Aleks supposes that they should probably talk about everything they just did. They were sort of practicing rough sex already, and their dirty talk before tonight was teetering on that edge but that went full force tonight. A new thing like that needs discussion.

“Have you ever done that before?” Aleks asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Like… dom and sub stuff?”

“Oh, yeah.” Brett nods. “It’s not my first time in general but it’s sort of my first time doing that so heavily with another guy. What about you?”

“I’ve done it before, just not as the… sub.” Aleks furrows his eyebrows together. “I’ve never really been a sub before.”

“Did you like it?”

“I never really liked it in the past,” Aleks says. “I dunno, it always felt degrading to me-”

“Make you feel like less of a man?”

“Yeah… just like that.” Aleks swallows and looks down to Brett’s chest. “I don’t like that, it’s just like how I feel when people call me a twink or call me pretty but with you, it doesn’t feel like that at all. Like, it just feels… normal. It’s fine.”

Brett rolls his lips back and looks down to his chest as well. “Well uh… why is it different with me?” he asks as he moves his hand over onto his chest, spreads the fingers out almost experimentally.

Aleks watches Brett’s fingers splay out and he notices the spaces in between them, like they’re asking to be filled. “You don’t judge me,” Aleks answers. “And I feel safe with you, like nothing’s gonna hurt me. Even when you’re choking the air out of me,” he breathes out a laugh, “I feel safe. I trust you. You treat me like your equal, not somebody beneath you.”

“I’m glad you feel safe with me,” Brett says quietly. “I want you to feel safe with me. I don’t want you to hide anything.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Aleks fingers tap against Brett in thought but he doesn’t think too long. The arm he has on Brett’s chest slides away enough for his hand to lay over the spaces of Brett’s fingers. Brett slides his fingers onto the back of Aleks’ hands and at the same time, they curl their fingers over each other to hold hands.

_ Please don’t let go. _

Brett brings their joined hands up and leaves a lingering kiss to the back of them. He brushes his thumb back and forth along the back of Aleks’ hand and as he rests their hands back on top his chest, he says, “you’re my good boy. I’ll never make you feel like you’re anything less.”

“You’re my daddy,” Aleks whispers as he looks up to Brett, eyes roaming all over his face. “You’re a good one. I’ll always let you know that.”

Even in the dark night with the only source of light being the moonlight outside, peeking through the blinds, he can fully make out Brett’s face and he loves every single part about it. He’s looked at it enough to know where the small features are under such darkness but Brett is so strikingly beautiful, so beyond description, that he’d pick Brett out among everybody else in a dark room in an instant because in that room, Brett serves as the brightest light that keeps Aleks going, that lets Aleks know where to look.

Brett looks down to Aleks and rests his head fully back on the pillow. He sighs through his nose as his eyes roam over the canvas of Aleks’ face and when Aleks smiles, he smiles back. “I can be whatever daddy you need,” Brett tells him. “But just let me know if I’m going too far, okay? I can get pretty rough, like, the things we did today was just dipping under the surface.”

“You’ll never be going too far.” Aleks shakes his head. “I like pretty much anything you do to me.”

“You don’t have a limit?”

“No golden showers. Other than that? I’m game for anything.”

Brett chuckles and looks from Aleks over to his luggage. “I can’t wait to break out that purple fursuit then-”

“You said no memeing.”

“Who said I was memeing?”

“... Brett, are you actually-”

“No!” Brett laughs and looks back to Aleks. “_No._ Okay, sorry, I was memeing. I won’t do it again.”

Aleks scoffs and shakes his head. “If you were into that, I’d… I’d do it. I like making you happy.”

“I like making you happy,” Brett tells him earnestly. “And I always want you to be happy.”

Aleks sighs and looks over Brett again, in utter mystification. “You’re too good to me,” he whispers.

“Aleks, you don’t have any idea how much I’ve wondered the same thing with you.” Brett huffs a breath through his nose and looks down to Aleks’ lips as he licks along his own. “What did daddy do to get such a good boy like you?”

In a perfect world, Brett feels for Aleks the way Aleks does for him.

He wakes up every morning wondering how the hell he got lucky with Aleks while at the same time, wishing they could be something so much more. He looks at Aleks like Aleks is the moon to his stars, like he’s the only living color in a monochrome world. He’ll hold Aleks and kiss him and think that, although this is the most they’ll ever be, that it’s an existence he’s fine living with because it’s better than nothing.

But Aleks wouldn’t know how to handle it if Brett liked him this whole time. What if Brett did like him and they’re still fucking each other months from now with no progression on that front? They’re doomed to forever live in uncertainty, hiding behind their fears?

It’s better like this.

“Wouldn’t mind you calling me that outside of like… sex,” Aleks offers. “I like being your good boy. And uh, everything else.”

But a dom/sub kind of thing could be the thing Aleks needs. It’s like a relationship but… not. They’re not saying “I love you” or anything but he’d love to have Brett as a caring, kind, sweet daddy in all aspects of his life - the perfect illusion.

“That does sound really nice… you want this to be like, a 24/7 thing then? Or just most of the time?”

“Like… some of the time,” Aleks clarifies. “Maybe like, just when we’re alone with each other and texting each other. Doesn’t gotta be all the time we’re alone though. Just when we feel like it, when we’re in the mood.”

“But basically, do it all where nobody can see. I get it.”

“Could always uh, gay it up for the videos though, you know?” Aleks grins and looks up to Brett. “If we’re intentionally doing it, we have the power.”

“See, Aleks, that’s another reason why you’re so special,” Brett sighs and squeezes his hand. “You’re smart. You’re like, a visionary.”

“Well you’re like, a god,” Aleks mirrors. “And you fuck like one too.”

Brett chuckles and wets his lips. “Mmm, well you _are_ my angel,” he points out. “Even if everything you do proves otherwise, that can’t be taken away from you.”

“Guess I wouldn’t be the poster image of an angel, yeah,” Aleks chuckles and looks to Brett’s lips, so wet and so kissable. He breathes in deeply and hums to himself before he looks into Brett’s eyes. “Hey, daddy?”

“Mmm?” Brett raises an eyebrow and looks to Aleks’ lips. “What is it, angel?”

That’s not exactly a name he ever thought Brett would call him but he finds himself liking it… a lot, oddly enough. Being a good boy for daddy is nice but an angel is like, the highest degree of good boy, isn’t it? Aleks really feels like he’s doing something right being called that.

“Can I kiss you?” Aleks asks in a tone just above a whisper.

“Of course you can, angel.” Brett closes his eyes and leans in when Aleks does. “My lips and everything else of mine is yours…”

_ Everything else of mine is yours. _

Equals. This is what they are.

Even when Aleks is on his knees in front of Brett, being forced to say he’s beneath him, they are always equals. He knows Brett would stop the moment he tells him to do so and it’s obvious that his enjoyment and comfort are Brett’s top concerns. Brett doesn’t fuck Aleks solely for himself but for the both of them.

Aleks doesn’t feel lesser at all. He feels like the other half.

He feels like the night to the day and the left to a right. The hot to the cold and the give to a take and in essence, he doesn’t feel like an extension to Brett but rather that other part that makes him whole - symmetry. He doubts Brett sees it like that, not to the extent he does but Aleks just sees it as a much more romanticized version of calling them equals.

Their hands fit together and their lips slide against the other in perfect fashion, they always have and they continue to do so right now.

Why should it be outlandish to think that he and Brett are the epitome of perfect symmetry?


	8. Morning Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett muse over their new sexual dynamic with each other, internally and externally, and they also try to give Lindsey advice in dealing with her crush.

**August 28th, 2017**

_ Aleks yawns and sets his empty mug back on the nightstand. He rubs his eyes and leans back against Brett’s arm before he turns onto his side. _

_ “Feeling tired?” Brett asks as he grabs the remote to mute the television. _

_ “Yeah,” Aleks says while closing his eyes. “Think I’m gonna call it a night. Is that okay?” _

_ Brett grins and nods as he turns on his side as well to comfortably spoon Aleks. “Yeah, that’s… where’d your boxers go?” _

_ “Slipped them off. Didn’t think you’d mind.” _

_ “Not at all.” Brett kisses Aleks’ cheek and then rests his head on the pillow. “Alright, angel, let’s get some sleep.” _

_ “I really like being called that,” Aleks murmurs. “Night, daddy.” _

_ “Good night, angel.” _

Aleks squints his eyes open and looks ahead at the alarm - an hour before it’s set to go off. He smiles at the knowledge that he still has an hour left of sleep and closes his eyes to do just that, but as he settles in the bed again, he feels a presence behind him.

A rather **hard** presence, actually.

“Brett?” Aleks murmurs.

“Mmm…” Brett hums. “Sleep. Need sleep.”

Hmmph. He doesn’t need sleep. It seems like Brett needs something else, or rather _somebody_ else, and Aleks is right there.

His ass is present, Brett’s dick is hard, and their interests are mutual. How can either of them try to sleep when Brett requires much needed attention?

“Kay,” Aleks whispers, settling in again… before he presses his ass directly against Brett’s hard on so it can grind against the crack of his ass. “Sleep.”

“Aleks…” Brett yawns. “Sleeeeep.”

“I am,” Aleks yawns back as he wrings the sheets in his fingers to quicken the swivel of his hips.

Brett bites down on his lip and tightens the hold around Aleks’ waist when his hardness twitches against Aleks’ ass. He breathes in deeply and presses his nails into Aleks’ skin, lightly dragging them across and he opens his eyes to stare heatedly at the back of Aleks’ head.

Aleks continues to gyrate his hips whilst acting like he’s doing absolutely nothing of the teasing sort.

Is his ass sore? Kind of. His throat? Eh. It could use a cough drop or two, but when Brett and his dick is right there and there’s not a layer separating them, he considers it a great disservice if he does nothing about it. Brett might try as much as he can to be responsible but his stubbornness is no match for Aleks’ persistence. He should know that-

“Like being a little tease, huh?”

As Brett pushes Aleks onto his stomach, Aleks’ eyes widen open, and Brett grabs the both of his hands to pin them on the small of his back.

_ Fuck, I’m in huge trouble. _

Once Brett has both of Aleks’ hands pinned, he uses one hand to do the job of holding them in place while the other threads into Aleks’ hair to tug his head back. Brett moves his mouth by his ear to gruffly whisper, “this ass is mine”, before he pushes Aleks’ head back down.

This uh, wasn’t exactly how Aleks saw that going. He thought it would go more along the lines of Brett giving in, whining something like _ “fiiiiine, I’ll fuck you” _ and Aleks will get to tease him for it but this works too. It’s just different.

Everything they did yesterday was different so might as well continue that trend.

Aleks is the submissive. Brett is the dominant. They established that. It makes sense that Brett is now taking advantage of that, as early as the morning after.

He closes his eyes and grunts when Brett yanks the plug out of him. Having that in him was a bit uncomfortable but it was also Aleks’ first time with it so that’s to be expected. It’s mitigated by the knowledge that Brett is inside him too.

Like, his come from last night is still inside Aleks and maybe it’s Aleks hoping too much or imagining things (most likely is), but he swears he could feel the load moving around during the night. It’s an amazing feeling, to be full of Brett for that long.

So far, buttplugs are a nice 7/10.

The grunt Aleks gave shifts into a loud cry as Brett quickly soothes that emptiness with the entirety of his length. God bless Brett for insisting on giving it all to Aleks right away instead of taking his time with it because that might be the norm for everybody else but Aleks wants it all _right now._

“You woke daddy up just so he can add another load inside your slutty hole and instead of punishing you, he’s **fucking** you. What do you say to daddy after he decided so _nicely_ to give into you?” Brett asks.

“Thank you so much, daddy,” Aleks moans. “I don’t deserve it.”

“You really don’t, but I’m such a good daddy that I’ll give it to you anyways. Gotta put you back in your place after all.”

Brett tells Aleks he’s not punishing him but it’s evident in the harsh way he fucks that he is. His nails dig hard into Aleks’ wrists and he’s got a tight grip on Aleks’ hair and Aleks can’t do anything but lie there and wait for Brett to get done. He _could_ act up a little and see what happens if he really tries to be bad but he doesn’t need to increase the soreness in his ass. That’ll be saved for another time.

It’s the definition of a morning quickie with rough elements. Brett is unrelenting with his thrusts and Aleks is shameless with his noises in a wonderful combination. The only gentle act Brett partakes in is letting go of Aleks’ hair so he can rest his head comfortably against the bed but it loses the original spirit when Brett just presses his hand hard against his head to keep his head right there. It’s better than being tugged back against his volition, at least.

The both of them are nearing the edge of their climaxes when Brett lets go of Aleks’ hands and Aleks is quick to take advantage of the freedom. He reaches his hands upwards by the sides of his head and drags the nails along the sheets to grab onto them and Brett slides his hands upwards to rest right on top of Aleks’, sliding his fingers through the open spaces to pin their joined hands together.

“Here’s the deal,” Brett says lowly against Aleks’ ear. “I can have you any way, any time. Your ass, your mouth, whenever I want. Don’t try to keep it from me because I _will_ take it from you. Say it for me.”

“You can have me any way, any time,” Aleks moans. “My ass, my mouth, whenever you want. I won’t keep it from you, daddy, I promise.”

Aleks is rewarded with a kiss to the cheek, least he thinks that’s all it is. Brett lets go of one hand to grab his chin and yanks Aleks’ head to the side quickly. It hurts, and his nails are pressing into his jaw, that hurts too, but then Brett is speaking to him so _softly,_ so _sweetly,_ and it soothes any and all pain he’s felt thus far.

“Good boy,” Brett praises. “You ready to take another load?”

“Yes, daddy,” Aleks breathes against Brett’s lips. “Can I come too?”

“Of course, angel. Thank you for asking.” Brett loosens his grip on Aleks’ chin and brushes his lips over Aleks’ before whispering, “kiss me”, and Aleks is quick in locking their lips together.

Brett is hot when he’s taking on that role of a rough daddy that shows no mercy but Aleks is also quite a fan of that more sensual side. In fact, he likes that just a bit more.

He’s sort of excited to see this side outside of their sexual activities. He’s never extended his sex life outside the bedroom like that before, and he doesn’t think it’s something he’ll do with Brett all the time they’re alone together because they're still close friends but… if he’s having a bad day, he wouldn’t mind being wrapped up in his daddy’s big, strong arms

The kiss is sensual as well and it doesn’t falter once, not even when the both of them reach their climax. Aleks comes first, then Brett, and when they’re done, their lips finally detach themselves from each other so they can get much needed air.

With a hum, Aleks lets his head rest on the bed but that hum devolves into a whine when he feels Brett pulling out, because Brett fucking knows how much he loves being full. Brett knows Aleks loves it when he stays inside after they’re done, but he’s probably doing it just to stick it to Aleks for coaxing him into this, like he doesn’t always wanna fuck Aleks.

Inwardly, Aleks complains about how evil he is but then, that’s one of the reasons he likes Brett so much. Brett doesn’t take his shit.

He’s been full of Brett the whole night and the plug kept the sensation going but now he’s officially empty and it isn’t great. Technically, Brett’s still inside him but those loads are gonna leak real soon and Aleks isn’t too fond of that either. It runs out of his hole and down his balls and he feels so dirty and used…

_ Actually, I don’t think I’d mind that too much with Brett. _

Aleks feels Brett’s hands on his ass before the air wisps over his loose hole and he moans when Brett gives him a gentle spank, or what would be gentle but Aleks is so fucking sensitive that his body registers it as something far greater. He’s sore too, so damn sore, he doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to take another pounding-

“Ohhh, oh, fuck yeah,” Aleks gasps and his eyes flutter shut when Brett places his mouth over his hole.

Maybe Brett isn’t evil. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a sensible method to his preconceived “evil” actions.

Brett jiggles Aleks’ ass in his hands while he presses his tongue flat against his hole. It trails downwards to tease Aleks’ balls, rolling them around, before it begins its path back up to gather the come beginning to leak. He moans when it settles on his tongue and he eagerly laps it up and all of the resulting drops that come with it. This seems to be the main goal because right after Brett cleans up every drop of his own load that spills from Aleks, he pulls away to sit up on his knees.

“I don’t know why the fuck you like to lick your own come,” Aleks breathes out, “but I fucking love it. Thanks.”

“I’d be a bad daddy if I left you with that mess,” Brett tells him. “And I actually don’t mind it too much… can I ask you something?”

“I’m not getting pregnant.”

Brett snorts. “Uh, good to know? But I was gonna ask if I could like… I don’t know, maybe after I do that one day, I could feed it back to you.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows and immediately turns around to look Brett in the eyes. “Feed what back to me?” he asks, but he already has a good idea.

“My own come,” Brett says. “Would you mind that? Or is it too gross?”

Aleks blinks a few times and tilts his head as he crosses his arms behind it. “Like… like a bird or some shit?”

“I… guess? That’s one way to describe it.”

The idea of being fed Brett’s come is cool. But being fed Brett’s come after it was inside his ass? Aleks isn’t too sure about-

“The way I see it,” Brett says, “it’d be like if I kissed you after I ate your ass. We do that all the time.”

_ When he puts it like that, it makes more sense. _

“We’ll try it once,” Aleks tells him. “Once. I dunno, I gotta see how I feel about it after the first time.”

“That’s why I asked,” Brett chuckles. “I know it’s kind of out there but man, uh, you’re just real fucking hot. I wanna do everything I can to you.”

If he wants to do everything he can to Aleks, then he should like… date him, you know? Haha, why not, right?

Aleks raises his eyebrows with a grin and then he holds himself up on his arms. “Well, thank you, daddy,” he says quietly. “You glad I convinced you to fuck me now?”

“I knew I was gonna fuck you the moment you started that shit,” Brett laughs. “You never need to convince me, by the way.”

“I did that first time.”

“Yeah, that _first_ time. If I seem reluctant at all, I’m just trying to preserve some illusion of self control.”

“So you’re basically admitting you can’t control yourself around me?”

Brett raises an eyebrow. “So _this,”_ Brett says as he softly lays a finger on Aleks’ neck, “and _this”_, the finger moves to another spot, “and _this?_ For the most part, yeah, I’d say I can’t control myself around you.”

“Jesus christ, dude, how many of them did you leave?” Aleks asks as he feels at his neck.

Brett gives Aleks an apologetic smile and tilts his head before he shrugs and holds out his hands. “Uhhh… ? I’m not sure? I’d uh, go look in a mirror.”

Aleks maneuvers himself off the bed and stretches out his arms as he makes his way to the connecting bathroom. He turns on the lights and his eyes widen when he sees just how many there are.

“Where the hell did my neck go?!” Aleks exclaims. “Holy shit!”

Brett has to laugh but then he feels bad for doing so and with a sigh, he climbs off the bed. “I’m sooorry,” he says in a whiny tone. “I really am. You were just… and I was just… oh, Aleks,” Brett sighs and places the both of his hands on his own cheeks right as he makes it in the bathroom, looking at their reflections. “I’ll make up for it, I promise-”

“It’s fine,” Aleks says. “It’s just… wow, you weren’t kidding. Do you have anything to cover this?”

“No.” Brett frowns and drops his hands by his sides. “But we can stop somewhere before the warehouse to get concealer and stuff. Lindsey taught me how to cover them up pretty well but you should probably get a scarf or something too. Cover all our bases… seriously, I know you said it’s fine, but I’m still sorry.” Brett brings his hand up to the nape of Aleks’ neck and reaches the other hand to the front so his fingers can gently graze over the many marks. 

Aleks doesn’t want Brett to feel bad at all because there’s nothing to feel bad about but he does appreciate it nonetheless. It shows that Brett thinks of him as an equal, that despite all the dirty talk, Aleks isn’t a piece of rundown property. If he_ did_ treat Aleks like that, Aleks wouldn’t hesitate in putting him the fuck back in line (that goes for anyone) but Aleks knows that won’t happen.

He knows Brett is always looking out for him. Aleks is always looking out for Brett too so he won’t mind giving him that reassurance. He’ll never get tired of it.

“I like a possessive guy.” Aleks winks at their reflection before he actually looks over to Brett. “Nothing to apologize for. You’re still a good daddy, don’t worry.”

Brett huffs a breath through his nose and even gives a small smile. “Thank you,” he says softly.

“But if you really feel like you need to make up for it, we can always like… even the playing field, you know what I’m sayin’?” Aleks looks to Brett’s neck and furrows his eyebrows. “That’s a darn nice neck you got there, pardner…”

“Ohhh…” Brett bites at his bottom lip and tugs at the collar of his shirt. “Yeah, okay. That uh, that’s fair.” He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall to present his neck before he holds out his arms. “Mark me, daddy.”

_ That really shouldn’t sound as hot as it just did. _

“Oooh.” Aleks waggles his eyebrows with a grin. “Really must be sorry if you’re calling me that.”

“Next thing you know, I’ll be the one on my knees begging for a good time.”

It’ll be just as hot as when Brett called him daddy just now too. Brett says these things in a teasing fashion but they both know Aleks would take advantage of that if he was really itching to take that role.

At the moment, he’s fine with their newly established roles. He likes being Brett’s good boy, his filthy angel, his _submissive._ There’s a label for what they’re doing that’s beyond friends with benefits, just a smidge, but those new labels make all the difference.

Brett might not ever be his boyfriend but at least he can be his caring daddy, his breathtaking god, his _dominant._

It's just that Aleks much prefers the first.

* * *

Brett and Aleks are currently in the parking lot of the warehouse, the only other people here being Lindsey and James. Instead of immediately going inside, Brett is taking the time right now to cover up Aleks’ hickies with the makeup he bought. If all else fails, he’ll just wrap that lightweight scarf around Aleks’ neck but he wants to avoid too many questions so it’s best he gets this makeup right.

“So?” Aleks raises his eyebrows at Brett. “Does my neck look fine now?”

Brett takes the makeup sponge off Aleks’ neck to look over his work… and the look he gives Aleks isn’t too reassuring. He’s not as good with the makeup like he thought he would be.

_ Maybe it’s best to call for reinforcements. _

Aleks huffs and pulls down the passenger mirror to look at his neck. He frowns a little when he sees that the makeup didn’t do its job in covering it all up and he quickly pushes the mirror back up. “I should’ve worn a turtleneck like you did,” he says as he looks back to Brett. “Go full hipster.”

Brett looks over into his side mirror when Aleks begins to comment on his looks. “In today’s latest Cow Chop video, I give a poetry reading that highlights my depression since YouTube destroyed our ad revenue,” he mumbles. “Here’s hoping our new Patreon will help us out.”

He definitely does look like a hipster with the solid black turtleneck, sleeves rolled to the elbows, and he’s wearing a black baseball hat along with his circular rimmed glasses. He thinks it makes him look older, which would be a complaint if Aleks wasn’t into that sort of thing but he is so Brett’s pretty indifferent.

He’s Aleks’ daddy now, in and out of the bedroom. It’s not the progression he would’ve seen with their arrangement at all, let alone Aleks turning himself into an absolute fucktoy for him and him only. That’s incredibly hot and everything (why wouldn’t it be?) but Brett is more focused on the fact that Aleks doesn’t have a problem in letting his guard down around him. That vulnerability gives way to the submission and their other games, possibly new games, but it also gives way into Aleks’ beautifully unique mind.

Aleks is still a mystery that Brett is trying to solve. He’s not a huge mystery and Brett knows him a lot better than most but Aleks’ stance on relationships, on sex, on every single facet of life, Brett wants to know every single detail. He wants to know all there is about Aleks until there’s nothing left, and then he’ll go over all the details with a fine tooth comb, to the point of boredom, but he could never be bored of Aleks.

He can never be bored of how easily their hands fit together, or the comforting white heat that warms him when they cuddle, or how it sounds like Aleks was made to cry out his name. Brett might get used to it but that’s a point he wants to reach with Aleks. He wants this all to be so familiar to him that he doesn’t wonder why Aleks chose him in the first place, just wonders why they didn’t do it sooner.

Right now, Brett needs to wonder how the hell he messed up with the makeup on Aleks’ neck and considering his makeup teacher is only feet away inside the warehouse, he’s going to send for her help.

After a quick call to Lindsey, Brett drops his phone into the cupholder and then he rests his arms on top the armrests, crossing a leg over the other. “Great, problem solved,” he says as he looks over to Aleks. “Again, I’m sorry-”

“Dude, stop apologizing,” Aleks chuckles and turns in his seat to face Brett. “I told you I liked it.”

He knows that Aleks likes it but he can’t help but be sorry! Brett would rather be sorry than to just markup Aleks everywhere and not care in the slightest about how others will see him or how Aleks feels. Brett wants people to look at Aleks and know he’s spoken for, in theory, but some concepts are drastically different in actual practice.

Ugh, _spoken for,_ Brett thinks that like Aleks belongs to him. Aleks sort of does but not like that.

He just belongs to Brett in the bedroom. And outside it… sort of outside it. It’s a real open sense of belonging. Like an open relationship but without the emotional commitment, _ oh my god, I am not comparing this to a relationship. I’m going crazy. _

Brett sighs. “I’m sorry, I can’t-” he swallows and shrinks under Aleks’ stare before he shyly looks down to his legs.

“Brett. Stop saying sorry.”

“I’m-” Brett presses his lips together. “Okay,” he says meekly.

Aleks smiles and huffs a chuckle through his nose before he looks up and out Brett’s window. “You’re really cute. Why is Lindsey taking so long?”

He’s a grown ass man, but Brett kind of screams on the inside like a giddy schoolgirl when Aleks says he’s _cute._ That’s not something Brett hears too much.

Brett blushes madly and reaches his hand back to scratch the nape of his neck as he looks out the window as well, which also does the job in hiding that blush. “James is here too so they’re probably… you know…”

“They’re probably talking about how hot it’d be to fuck each other and then afterwards, they’ll be like _ ‘but what if they don’t like me?!’ _ “ Aleks mocks.

“You can fuck somebody and not like them.” _ Like you. _ “But yeah, it’s completely obvious they wanna date.”

Aleks slumps in his seat and scratches the side of his neck for a little bit before he allows his hand to rest, fingers gently grazing back and forth along the poorly covered marks. “I get that it’s scary and shit to like somebody. Because it is really scary, especially if it’s a friend, a really awesome friend and if things went weird between you two, it’d just like… completely fuck you up, but when you two are going out all the time, texting all the time, I mean, even I would be making a move at that point,” Aleks says.

While Brett is afraid of rejection, he’s more brave when it comes to Aleks about making a move… on people that aren’t Aleks, that is! Aleks aside, Brett figures that the worst that can happen is they say no.

That, however, is only the best case scenario with Aleks. The worst case is that Aleks gets weirded out and calls it quits, leaves their house, leaves the channel, and leaves Brett behind so there’s a lot more at stake here than just Brett’s dignity.

“We should double date,” Brett brings up. “You tell James that Lindsey will be there, I’ll tell her the opposite, and then they’ll show up and they’ll have to confront it. Or something.”

Aleks blinks at Brett a few times and he rolls his lips back to gnaw at the bottom. He breathes in deeply and clears his throat before he pats Brett’s shoulder and when Brett looks over to him, he grins and repeats, _“we_ should double date?”

_ Oh no. _

Brett’s eyes widen and he chuckles nervously. “I mean… it… you know what I mean-”

“I’m just kidding,” Aleks assures. “Yeah, I get it.”

After breathing out in relief, Brett suggests that “we can always invite them out with us on your birthday. Universal Studios, end the night at Universal Citywalk? It’d be a pretty lit date. They might end up doing their own thing like the time we all went to the club together but they’d be out with each other, you know?”

A visit to the amusement park followed by shopping and entertainment? That’s a great fucking date right there and for Lindsey and James, that’d be a great way to get them to confront their feelings! They could win each other gifts at the games, hold onto each other during the rides, take the scenic studio tour that’s only scenic to those who haven’t been to Universal Studios before, etc. There’s so many things to do that will blossom romantic feelings!

Aleks shrugs and drops his hands onto his lap. “I feel you. And that’s a good idea but I kinda want it to be just us.” He raises his eyebrows. “Is that okay?”

“Are you asking me if it’s okay that we’re alone together?”

Aleks gives a bashful smile and looks down to his hands. “I mean like, I wouldn’t want you to think I wanted us going alone because I wanna go out on a date with you. N-Not that, like, it’d be bad, if that was a thing, I just… uh, you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

_ Not that it’d be bad, if that was a thing. _

Brett squints his eyes at Aleks in thought and the corner of his lips turn up into an inquisitive grin, confidence lifting his body as well as his spirits. “So if this was a date, how would you feel?”

Aleks looks back up to Brett and his lips part open. “I’d… it…” He swallows and runs his teeth along his bottom lip. “I mean-”

A knock on Brett’s car window cuts Aleks off and they both look over to see Lindsey waving her hand and holding up a bag of makeup. Brett blinks at Lindsey a few times and, with a very tight, polite smile, he rolls down the window. “Hello,” he says. “Nice of you to join us.”

Brett is suddenly reminded of the time that security guard in the gym walked in on him and Aleks in the pool together. Back then and now, Brett wonders the same thing - _what would happen with us if we weren't interrupted?_

“So what exactly do you need the makeup for?” Lindsey asks.

Brett points back to Aleks with his thumb. “This guy here kind of burned-”

“I got laaaaaid, my dude!” Aleks exclaims as he pokes his head out for Lindsey to see his grinning face.

Lindsey’s eyes widen as she looks over Aleks’ ravaged neck. “Jesus,” she sighs. “Why couldn’t you guys have gone for a more traditional welcome home present?” she asks as she proceeds to Aleks’ side.

“Because this way is hotter and more beneficial for everybody involved,” Aleks explains.

“Lindsey,” Brett says, “you should be happy that your friends are having very rewarding and awesome sex lives.”

“Our sex is that bomb, huh?” Aleks grins and looks to Brett.

“Hell yeah, you know it is.” Brett holds up his hand for Aleks to high five him and after doing so, he gives a slight fist pump of victory.

_ Me and him are sooooo cool. _

“Nice to know some of us have sex lives,” Lindsey mumbles as she opens Aleks’ door. “Alright, let’s cover this neck up.”

“You and James should fuck each other,” Aleks tells her.

Lindsey swallows and narrows her eyes. “Uh, why… why him in particular?”

Brett snorts and shakes his head while he crosses his arms on top his steering wheel to watch Lindsey open her bag. “She’s so cute when she acts oblivious,” he mumbles loud enough for Aleks to hear.

“She is.” Aleks grins. “Bro, he totally wants you. Just go for that dick.”

“I can’t just text him and asks if he wants to bang,” Lindsey explains. “Especially if I want more than that. I could never just fuck somebody I really like, it’d be torture.”

Aleks and Brett’s eyes widen as they both slowly look down at the floor with equal thoughts of, _ she’s not exactly wrong. _An uncomfortable silence permeates between the two of them but it’s actually rather comfortable for Lindsey, who’s just glad they’re no longer interrogating her about her weird thing with James.

This solace doesn’t last long for her.

“Well um…” Aleks clears his throat and looks back to Lindsey. “Tell James you like him then-”

“Aleks, I tried that,” Brett sighs and looks over to her as well. “Lil’ ol’ Lindsey just needs to figure it out herself, it seems.”

“I’m fine being alone forever,” Lindsey says. “Really. Alright, Aleks, tilt your head back…”

Lindsey does a tremendous job covering Aleks’ neck and at the end of it all, Brett feels bad for teasing her, along with Aleks, about being so averse to asking James out on a proper date - especially when he can’t let his own feelings for Aleks be known. It’s sort of hypocritical but uh, it really isn’t!

See, Lindsey and James like each other but Aleks doesn’t like Brett. There have been a few times where Aleks says or does something that makes Brett wonder, _ “what if” _, but it’s not concrete proof.

Only bad things will arise from that possible confession. There’s no reason to put his feelings out there.

“You guys coming in or are you gonna fuck in the backseat?” Lindsey teases with a grin of her own.

Aleks looks over to Brett and holds up his hand for him to grab (and Brett does) before he looks back to Lindsey. “The latter,” he answers. “We can do that because we’re direct with what we wanted from each other. Could be you and James one day.”

_ Almost everything we want from each other. _

Lindsey rolls her eyes. “Rude,” is all she says before she walks away from the car and back into the warehouse.

“We should probably get out though,” Brett tells him as he lets go of his hand. “As cool as fucking you in the backseat would be.”

“Yeah, my ass is too sore to do anything for a few days,” Aleks chuckles and hops out of the seat. “Also means you won’t be fucking me, is that okay?”

“Oh no, gotta kick you out now,” Brett teases as he meets Aleks at the back of the car. He smiles at Aleks and nods. “Yeah, that’s okay. Doesn’t mean we can’t do other things with each other anyways.”

Even if they couldn’t do other things with each other, Brett just wants to spend time with Aleks. He could be fucking Aleks hard or sitting outside gazing at the stars with him, it doesn’t matter. It’s a pleasure to share Aleks’ company and Brett doesn’t take it for granted.

“Figured you’d say it was okay but still wanted to make sure.” Aleks smiles and shrugs as he brings a hand up to Brett’s shoulder, the other playing with the collar of his turtleneck. “Why didn’t you get Lindsey to cover this up?”

“One, that’s what the turtleneck is for,” Brett says. “Two, she doesn’t have a shade for my skin color.”

“It’d still be better than nothing. Like, anybody could pull this down,” Aleks pulls down the turtleneck to reveal Brett’s neck, more ravaged than his own, “and see all this shit.”

Brett clears his throat and looks all around as he quickly pulls up the collar. “You know, you left way more marks than I did,” he mumbles.

“Do you really mind though?”

Brett huffs through his nose and looks down to the ground, kicking at the cement. “No,” he says quietly. “I like them all.”

Aleks had gone crazy in marking up his neck to replicate what Brett did with him and he replicated that dominance too. For that very small duration, they were in a parallel world, Aleks as the dominant and Brett as the submissive and Brett didn’t hate it at all. It’s not like he was begging Aleks to fuck him or shaking in ecstasy or anything but it was clear that Aleks held all the power in the time he took to return the favor.

“Yeah?” Aleks raises an eyebrow. “You know, you might be the daddy, and you’re definitely the more dominant one, but I really wanna have my way with you one night.”

Brett looks up to Aleks and crosses his arms over his chest. “You could mean that in a lot of ways.”

“You’re supposed to interpret it as the uh…” Aleks shrugs and holds onto the side of Brett’s neck while he moves his mouth by his ear to whisper, “you know, the _ ‘I’m gonna shove my dick so far up your ass’ _ kind of way?”

Brett swallows and looks off to the side as he adjusts his sleeves. It feels intensely hotter now and it isn’t because of the California weather either.

He makes a small noise, almost like a whimper, when Aleks suddenly spanks him and he blushes hard when he realizes what kind of noise he made.

_ What is happening to me? _

“Let’s head in, Brettzle Stick!” Aleks announces as he walks past Brett like nothing ever happened.

“Coming!” Brett obeys quickly as he follows behind Aleks in a weird half walk, half jog.

Brett’s not averse to having anything up his ass at all and his experience with the prostate massager was rather nice. It wasn’t mindblowing but it definitely unlocked a familiar realm of pleasure, one that Brett always sees and hears with Aleks. If Aleks wants to fuck Brett and turn Brett into a whimpering mess like Brett tends to do with him (and he seems pretty eager about doing so), then Brett is absolutely down for it. 

And in the times he can’t fuck Aleks, like now, it won’t take away the option of penetrative sex. It doesn’t necessarily mean that Brett has to be submissive either, it just means he’s the one taking it up the ass and if you ask Brett, that’s_ super manly. _ A real man takes it up the ass and likes it!

With Aleks’ birthday right around the corner, Brett’s self exploration would do nicely if he finally included Aleks in that journey. Aleks is a self proclaimed power bottom connoisseur after all - he probably knows all the tips and tricks and Brett trusts Aleks to make him feel good. 

Even big, strong men like him need to be taken care of once in awhile.


	9. Expansion Of Our Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks gets the best birthday present in the form of spending an entire day with Brett, and he gets a lot more than he expected from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading! It's also another triple upload week, so Chapters 10 and 11 will be uploaded Wednesday and Friday respectively <3

**September 1st, 2017**

Brett pours one more glass of orange juice and then sets it by Aleks’ plate. He screws the lid closed on the carton while he takes a step back to look over the table.

“He’ll like it all, won’t he?” Brett asks himself. “Yeah, of course he will.”

Today is Aleks’ 25th birthday and Brett wants to start his day off on a good slate with his favorite breakfast - pancakes, bacon, and eggs.

A bottle of syrup rests on the middle of the table and there’s a can of whipped cream as well, if Aleks wakes up with a sweet tooth. To the side of the condiments is a beautifully wrapped present, gold wrapping paper encasing what appears to be a rectangular box with a black bow on top.

He has Aleks’ collar and leash in a golden bag hidden under his bed. Brett wants to save that for later on in the night as a nice way to close off his birthday. He doesn’t think they’ll make use of it tonight, because Aleks is still sore from the previous few days.

And Brett isn’t completely confident that Aleks will love it. He wants to think Aleks will, if their sexual escalation is anything to go by, but what if that’s too much? … no, of course he’ll like it! If Aleks is fine with a buttplug, he should be fine with a collar! Collars have the added benefit of not being invasive… or a caveat, depending on who you ask.

The footsteps from upstairs gradually grow louder and Brett’s eyes widen as he tries to figure out what to say to Aleks.  _ “Happy birthday!” _ is obvious, but what does he  _ call _ Aleks? Are they like they always are or does Aleks wanna try bringing the sex out of the bedroom with the pet names? Should Brett call Aleks by his actual name or should he call him angel? His good boy? Should he act like a caring daddy or be… him?

“Sup, dude?” Aleks yawns out.

_ I’m so glad Aleks made that decision for me. _

Brett blows out a breath in relief and with a big smile, he rests a hand on the back of his chair and spreads out the other as he exclaims, “happy birthday!”

After rubbing his eyes, Aleks squints them open at Brett with a smile. “Thanks,” he says quietly. He rolls his lips back and looks Brett up and down, briefly gnawing at his bottom lip while he makes his way over to the table. “I see my _awesome_ daddy made some of his _awesome_ bacon for breakfast.”

_ Oh! We’re doing that! Okay! Switch gears, switch gears! _

Brett clears his throat and nods. “Yup, made all of my angel’s favorites,” he says. “Got your present right there on the table too.”

They’re not dating. Brett knows that, but when Aleks calls him daddy, when he calls Aleks angel, and they’re doing this before they have breakfast with each other? It sort of feels like it.

What was a purely sexual game is now intimate and shys away from that borderline pornographic side. It feels more personal and less like dirty talk. It feels like _them,_ like their new special thing and for Brett, it’s the realization of a fantasy that he never knew he had until it happened.

His life is slowly turning into the fantasy he’s always pictured. He’s making breakfast for the hottest person in the world and he gets to fuck that person whenever he wants. That person moans his name, says things like  _ “you fuck me so good!” _ and “ _ I belong to you!” _ and  _ “dude, your receding hairline is actually really sexy.” _ Sometimes, that person even falls asleep in his arms.

It’s not everything he’s fantasizing about but overtime, these fantasies are becoming a reality. There’s one Brett wants to happen above all else but there’s a reason it’s a fantasy. Fantasies are often fictional and will never happen, much like the notion of Aleks officially being his in every single walk of life.

Brett has accepted it. Just because he wants more with Aleks, doesn’t mean he’s going to sabotage this great thing. He can’t always get everything wants and that’s a fact of life everybody needs to realize. Brett is lucky in that, he might not have everything he wants, he does have most of it and he’s going to make, well, the most of it.

“Let me open that present first.” Aleks reaches for the golden box and twists and turns to inspect it. “Woah, you wrapped this? I know who’s going to be wrapping Christmas presents this year.”

Christmas? 4 months from now? Will they even be doing this 4 months from now? Will Aleks even be living here 4 months from now? Aleks did say he doesn’t wanna leave but how long will he continue to think that?

_ Will you fucking enjoy this beautiful morning with this beautiful boy and stop overthinking everything? _

“I hope you like it,” Brett says as he watches Aleks in high anticipation, his hands clutching tightly to the top of the chair. “I just saw it and thought it’d be perfect for you.”   


“Daddy knows best, right?” Aleks asks right as he slips the box out from the paper. He slides the top off and furrows his eyebrows at the fine leather as he takes it out from the box to further inspect. Aleks slips his arms through the sleeves and smiles at the fitting.

It’s a tiny bit on the big side but doesn’t look out of place on his frame at all. It’s a lightweight leather jacket with pockets in the chest. It’s a lighter black color and looks to be made with high quality materials. The leather is soft to the touch and the lining is just as soft, warm too.

“Where did you get this?” Aleks asks. “This is so fucking nice, holy shit.”

“Germany,” Brett answers. “They had a lotta cool things down there.”

“You buy it in the same place you got that plug?”

Brett snorts. “Yeah, they had a whole section dedicated to leather sex toys and they decided they might as well sell jackets too, just to really broaden their customer base.”

“Smart,” Aleks chuckles. “But seriously, I love this.” He looks up to Brett as he slips the jacket off and with twinkling eyes, he says in a very sweet tone, “thank you, daddy.”

With a wink, Brett smiles and says, “anything for my favorite boy. It’s not my only gift though.”

“Ooh, you have more?” Aleks’ smile widens and he sets the jacket over the back of his chair. “What else does daddy have for me?”

“There’s a special gift I have for you,” Brett says, “but I’m saving that for tonight.”

“Is it daddy’s awesome dick?”

“Is your ass still sore?”

“That’s not relevant.”

“Your ass is always relevant.”

Aleks sighs and grabs his bacon so he can start eating away. “Yeah, it’s still sore.”

“Thought so. But it’ll be a cool gift…” Brett purses his lips and looks to the side. “At least I hope you think it is.”

“I trust daddy.” Aleks grins and looks up to Brett. “Anything else?

“Absolutely! Sooo we’re still going to work-”

“That’s not a good present.”

“Let me finish!” Brett whines. “You just said you trusted daddy.” He pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

Aleks scoffs. “Yeah, you’re definitely a daddy when you whine and pout like that.” Then Brett narrows his eyes into a glare and Aleks’ own eyes widen as he exclaims, “it’s not a bad thing! I think it’s cute! You’re a cute daddy.”

Brett rolls his eyes and walks behind Aleks’ chair to hold onto his shoulders. “Well… I guess that’s better,” he says. “Anyways, as I was saying, _ my precious angel who has never teased and made fun of daddy at all ever in his life _ … we’re still going to work but we’re leaving pretty early to go to Universal Studios. Then we can end the night at Universal Citywalk. Already bought the tickets and got the express so we don’t have to wait in any lines.”

“Just me and you?” Aleks asks as he leans his head back against the chair to stare up at Brett.

Brett drops his head forward to look down at Aleks. He huffs fondly through his nose and with a nod, he moves down to kiss the tip of Aleks’ nose. “Just me and you, angel,” he says quietly. “Nobody else.”

_ Nobody to bother us. _

Aleks grins and gently wipes at his nose with his thumb. “Thanks for the lit birthday so far, daddy.” He moves his free hand up to gently pat Brett’s cheek before he drops his head back forward. “But seriously dude, thanks. I just like it when it’s only us cause I’m comfortable around you, you know? Like, I’m comfortable around other people too, but it’s different with you.”

“I’m glad I can be that exception for you,” Brett says as he goes to sit at his own chair across from Aleks. “And I feel the same way. You just understand me in a way nobody else does. Like when I’m going on a rant or whatever and somebody thinks I’m taking it too seriously but you get what I’m saying and you don’t belittle me for it.” He stabs a fork into his slice of apple and looks at the slice as he twists the fork around. “It’s stuff like that, that makes me feel comfortable around you, more than anyone else.”

Brett expresses his emotions to their fullest extent and he doesn’t hold back. He wears his heart on his sleeve, which doubles as a blessing and a curse. You don’t often have to wonder how Brett feels about something but then sometimes, it’s best to just keep those emotions in check. Even if these emotions may seem irrational or too strong, and most people tend to think that in regards to Brett, Aleks is always there to be on Brett’s side or to talk a bit more sense into him, like rushing water drowning a brightly burning flame.

Aleks stops mid bite to look at Brett’s fork, then Brett himself. He swallows his bite of pancake and after taking a sip of his orange juice, he reaches his hand across the table to lay on top Brett’s.

Brett immediately looks down when the shocks send through his hand. He blinks a few  times and then looks back to Aleks, wondering what exactly he’s trying to do and hoping that Aleks won’t let go.

“You don’t gotta worry about anything with me, man,” Aleks assures. “And you’re gonna have a fun time today so take it easy, okay? Don’t think about anything, just... “ he huffs and smiles, looks up to Brett. “Just think about us.”

It’s stuff like this that cements Aleks as that person Brett knows he can go to for anything. Aleks doesn’t judge, doesn’t tease (in bad nature) - he just listens and accepts, tries to make better.

Brett smiles and looks over into Aleks’ eyes directly and just like that, everything is alright again. The flames sizzle and the water washes him away into a tranquil land that he and Aleks reside together.

_ Just think about us. _

He lets his fork drop back onto his plate and he overturns his hand to grab Aleks’. After kissing the back of Aleks’ hand, Brett murmurs, “what would daddy do without his favorite boy?”

Aleks relaxes in his seat and shrugs as he looks to their hands. “Dunno,” he says quietly. “Crash and burn?”

Yeah. That sounds about right.

* * *

They manage to head out of work pretty early, just like Brett said. It was really just a matter of finishing up some last minute things, answering emails, and some other small things, though they never do much on Friday’s to begin with.

It’s quite warm outside so Aleks has to leave his brand new leather jacket behind in Brett’s car. He’s a bit disappointed because the jacket was comfy as hell, like he was being hugged by a cloud, but if he wears that the entire time they’re in the park, he’s gonna burn up and it won’t be from how hot Brett is either! Hahaha.

But no, seriously. Aleks would rather not die of heat stroke on his birthday. It’d suck to die on such a beautiful day too.

The sun is the brightest it’s ever been and the sky is a clear blue gradient, little to no clouds in sight, which allows the light to reflect off the entirety of the Universal globe just by the entrance of the park. More and more people are beginning to filter into the park, which is to be expected the day before the weekend but despite the growing number of people, all Aleks really acknowledges is Brett.

Brett is even more beautiful. Curse him for wearing another baseball hat (in a dark gray for today) that hides that hairline Aleks likes so much but he makes up for it by wearing a gray tanktop. Aleks can at least admire his biceps and his chest and that’s actually a lot better. Aleks isn’t showing off much skin like Brett, wearing black jeans and a gray Cow Chop shirt with a red logo along with a backwards black baseball hat.

Aleks grabs the water bottle that’s suddenly thrusted against his chest and he squints his eyes curiously at Brett.

“Drink some of that, okay?” Brett requests. “Hot as fuck out here and if we’re gonna be walking around all day, you need to stay hydrated.”

“Me?” Aleks screws open the cap. “Why not you?”

“I’m accustomed to California, Aleks,” Brett explains. “You’re not. Until you have fully adapted, I gotta take care of you.”

“But you’ll throw me out again as soon as I adapt?”

“Exactly.”

Aleks chuckles and shakes his head as he takes a long sip for Brett’s sake and then he screws the cap back on. While Brett takes the bottle back to place in his backpack, with small snacks and other water bottles, a park employee comes up to them with the brightest smile on her face.

“Welcome to Universal Studios, guys!” she greets. “Want a picture taken in front of the globe? You can redeem it inside and take it home, free of charge!”

“You wanna take a picture?” Brett asks as he looks to Aleks.

Aleks shrugs and begins to back up against the globe. “Sure. It’s my first time here so I guess a memento would be cool.”

“Awesome!” she cheers. “Just stand in front of the globe, get real close!”

“Real close she says,” Aleks says lowly.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Brett chuckles and wraps an arm around Aleks’ waist and Aleks repeats the action.

“Alright, on 3!” she announces. “1… 2…”

Right before she snaps the picture, Brett leans over in that last possible second to steal a quick peck to Aleks’ cheek and it takes Aleks by surprise, in a good way.

_ I’m definitely gonna remember my first time here now. _

“Cute!” She lowers her camera and her smile looks to be genuine. She walks up to Brett and hands him a slip as she says, “be sure to bring that slip to the photo center! First picture is free, but any other pictures taken in the park will be an additional charge so just be aware!”

She could’ve easily handed that slip to Aleks. Aleks was right there! It’s like anytime he and Brett are together, people look to Brett for all the decisions and answers and Aleks doesn’t get it-

_ It’s the morning after Aleks and Brett fucked for the first time and they just finished a late breakfast. The server, of course, hands Brett the one check. _

_ Aleks looks off to the server and blinks a few times in wonderment before he looks back to Brett. “Dude, did you see that?” _

_ “See what?” Brett replies while taking out cash. _

_ “She just fucking assumed you were the top.” _

_ “No, it’s because I was the one that asked for the check.” _

_ “She could’ve put it down in the middle.” _

_ “Eh, don’t worry about it.” Brett sets the cash on top of the check, along with a nice tip. "Even if that were the case, it’s not like she’d be wrong.” _

_ Aleks blinks wildly as he watches Brett hop off the chair and he quickly finishes off the rest of his mimosa before he joins Brett back onto the patio. “Not like she’d be **wrong?**” _

_ “You know why I think you’re upset, Aleks?” Brett wraps an arm around his shoulder and looks over to his face. “You’re upset because I out topped you last night **and** this morning.” _

_ “Dude, I can be a fucking top-” _

_ “Hey, I’m not doubting you’re a good top when you wanna be,” Brett chuckles and holds up his other hand in defense. “But I mean, compared to me?” He raises an eyebrow and rests the hand on his chest. “Anybody is gonna look at us and pick me out as the top. The whole world works off stereotypes, Aleks.” _

Okay so yeah, Brett’s the dominant one between them - the _top, _and people think he’s the more manly one and like, he really is but come on!

One of these days, Aleks is going to top Brett. He’s gonna dominate the hell out of him and Brett won’t know what to do with himself. Aleks is a fucking awesome top when he wants to be and he can’t wait to see that fucking look on Brett’s face when he realizes who exactly he’s in bed with.

Is Aleks enjoying the submissive role? Yes. And he had a lot of fun playing it out with Brett this morning, in a much more playful and personal context. It’s nice to just let go with somebody who completely understands you and won’t do anything to intentionally hurt you but Aleks isn’t going to completely put domination behind him.

It’s apples and oranges and Aleks is really enjoying the taste of oranges at the moment.

After Brett tucks the slip into his backpack, he and Aleks make their way inside the official park and that’s when Aleks sees it - the circular green logo with the head of a white mermaid plastered over the storefront.

Aleks grabs Brett’s hand and gives it a small tug as he points to the logo. “Ay. Let’s get something to drink.”

Brett follows Aleks’ hand and then he throws his head back with a sigh before he closes his eyes. “Aleeeks,” he whines. “Why do you want Starbucks? There’s so many other places-”

“I want my cinnamon bun hot chocolate, man!” Aleks gently swats at his chest. “And it’s my birthday!”

“I guess I wouldn’t mind getting an iced coffee,” Brett mumbles. “Let’s head in.”

There’s quite a number of people in their way but not so much that it’s a problem. They cut through easily to make it inside but there’s a bit of a line inside, one the Express pass does nothing to help so they just have to wait there and pass the time by talking to each other - not a bad thing at all.

“You and your fucking extravagant drinks,” Brett chuckles and looks down into the case that holds all the pastries.

“Maybe you should get one to try,” Aleks suggests.

“Let me drink something hot when it’s hot outside,” Brett says. “Good idea.”

“You’re drinking it because it tastes good, not because it’s refreshing. That’s why you brought all the waters, we’ll be fine!”

“I’m just bitching to give you a hard time.” Brett smiles and looks back to Aleks. “I’ll take a small sip of yours. Is there anything in particular you wanna do here? Did you look at the site or anything at all?”   


“It’s not a trip to Universal Studios if you don’t visit the Harry Potter world,” Aleks brings up. “So we gotta go there.”

“What’s your house, by the way?” Brett asks.

“Hufflepuff. Yours?”

“Ravenclaw to the end, baby.”

“We’re the two houses that nobody gives a shit about. Nice.”

“Actually, more and more people are starting to give a shit about Hufflepuff,” Brett explains. “But it’s kind of like, a hipster thing, like  _ ‘oh, nobody cares about Hufflepuff because they don’t understand Hufflepuffs’.” _

“And Ravenclaws?”

Brett shrugs. “People still don’t give a shit about Ravenclaw.”

Aleks laughs and sidles up closer to Brett as he looks over to the case. “I also wanna do the studio tour if there’s time, I heard it’s an hour long but it seems cool. Annnd I heard Waterworld was a lot of fun. Revenge of the Mummy is supposed to be scary-”

“It isn’t. But it’s still fun, so we’ll definitely do that.”

“Can you do me too?”

The next person in line, an older woman, looks back to them with a rather judgemental expression and Brett smiles politely at her, even batting his eyelashes for added effect as he wraps an arm around Aleks’ waist from the side. He leans in to quietly say, “if you weren’t sore, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Aleks might be sore but that doesn’t mean they should completely put a halt to their sexual activities. They can always blow each other, jerk each other off, or dry hump. That’s always a fun time! Aleks isn’t the only one who can take it up the ass either but it’s gonna be awhile before Brett can work himself up to that. He’s only just now got around to exploring that side.

Soon enough, it’s their turn and Aleks is prepared to order on his own but Brett speaks up first.

“Hey, can I get an iced black coffee?” Brett asks. “And for this one, he wants a hot chocolate but there’s gonna be a lot more to it. Add 1 pump of mocha, cinnamon, vanilla, and caramel, do a milk and cream base, top it off with whipped cream and drizzle some cinnamon on top.”

_ “Aleks, you gotta pick something, dude.” Brett chuckles. “Close your eyes and whatever your finger lands on is what you’ll get.” _

_ Aleks tilts his head and purses his lips, tapping his finger against the menu. “Yeah, but what if-” _

_ “Oh my god, **dude,**” Brett laughs and places a hand on Aleks’ shoulder before he looks to the waitress. “He’s gonna get the La Cannelle, extra whipped cream if you could and maybe you can drizzle some more cinnamon on top? Thank you.” _

Aleks smiles and ducks his head to hide the blush rising to his cheeks. He was flattered when Brett ordered for him back then and he’s flattered now. It continues to cement Brett’s role as the more dominant one in this thing of theirs but it’s nice to have somebody who knows exactly what he wants, knows exactly how to take care of him.

It’s been awhile since somebody has done that for him. Even when he was with Geoff, they were long distance and it only lasted a month so they never delved too deep into that territory. Aleks forgot how good this feels.

Though he still wants to order for himself now and then. He’s not dependent on Brett.

They take their drinks and head right back out into the sun and there’s a lot more people than before. Seriously, there’s a whole crowd of them! Where did they come from? It’s actually pretty intimidating.

“Woah,” Aleks and Brett say in unison.

“Where we going, Aleks?” Brett asks.

“Uh… Harry Potter?”

Brett nods and holds out his free hand. “Okey dokey, take my hand and the Brett train will lead you there.”

He doesn’t need to ask Aleks twice. In fact, Aleks grabs his hand before Brett can even finish the sentence and when Brett realizes they’re now holding hands, he squeezes Aleks’ in a tight, but comforting grip to lead him through and out of the crowd.

They still hold hands when they’re distances away from the throngs of people.

Aleks thinks Brett forgot.

Aleks isn’t going to remind him.

* * *

Their drinks are now finished and have since been replaced by a bigass donut they got from the Simpsons area of the park. It’s big with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles and the color of the sprinkles is a rather appropriate color for Aleks and Brett today.

After seeing all there is in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, traversing through the magical land of Springfield, and taking a quick look at the weirdness that is the Minions side of the park, they’re on their way over a bridge to ride Revenge Of The Mummy. Whether it’s a quick way to the ride, Aleks doesn’t know, but he trusts Brett.

Aleks takes another bite of the donut and looks down to see that there’s not much to it left. He looks over to Brett and squints his eyes and Brett looks over to Aleks when he feels his stare and squints his eyes himself. With a chuckle, Brett asks, “what is it?”

“You’re hot,” Aleks says casually.

Brett chuckles again. “Thanks, you’re pretty hot too.”

“Also,” Aleks raises up what’s left of the donut, “we should finish this off Lady and the Tramp style.”

Brett snorts and looks to the donut as he comes to a stop on the bridge by the railing. This railing overlooks a good part of the park as well as the backwoods, trees of various heights strewn throughout. He looks off into the distance and breathes in before he looks back to Aleks, reaching a hand up to grab one side of the donut while Aleks holds the other, and he says, “only if I get to be Tramp.”

“It’s my birthday. Can you be Lady?”

“Is that gonna be your excuse for everything?”

“Does it work?”

“Unfortunately, it does.”

“Then yes.”

Brett shakes his head in amusement and closes his eyes. “Alright, let’s do this.”

They both take a bite and swallow most of it down before they take another. And another. And another… and one more that finally has them pressing their lips together. They both smile when their lips meet and after fully swallowing the donut down, they hold each other’s face in their hands to initiate an actual kiss.

They’re in public, they realize. They really shouldn’t be doing this sort of thing but there’s not many people up here and they doubt anybody will recognize them here so they’re not too worried - they shouldn’t. It doesn’t mean they’re suddenly going to makeout but a soft kiss won’t hurt anybody.

They pull away and wet their lips to savor the other’s taste. When they open their eyes and look into the other’s, they can’t help but break out into laughter over what they just did.

“That was the corniest fucking thing we’ve ever done,” Brett laughs.

“Yeah, but it was kinda cute.” Aleks’ laughter dies down and he raises a knowing eyebrow at Brett. “You know it was.”

Brett narrows his eyes challengingly and Aleks does the same. They move their heads side to side, trying to catch the other off guard until Brett finally relents with a chuckle. “Fine, it was a little bit cute.”

“You’re cute too.”

“You’re cuter.”

“You’re cutest.”

“Nooo!” Brett laughs and immediately begins to walk away from Aleks. “I’m not doing that with you!”

“Pussy!” Aleks calls out as he follows after Brett.

“Hey, I’ll leave you behind-”

“No you won’t.”

“Yes I will.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh.”

“And you’re the older one between us,” Aleks mumbles right as he finally catches up to Brett’s side.

“But you like that, don’t you?” Brett grins over at Aleks and gives his ass a nice little pat before he looks ahead. “Alright, now let’s finally head to that Mummy ride.”

Aleks does. He loves that Brett is the older one. It gives him peace in mind to be with an older person, somebody who has more life experience and can let him know what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong, somebody who can impart wisdom on Aleks through their own trials and tribulations of life.

Brett is responsible and that’s an admirable quality to have but it kind of hindered them from fucking each other the first time around. That responsibility also puts a knife into any sort of relationship they’ll ever have, which sucks a lot, but he can’t fault Brett for being who he is. He likes Brett for who he is and any preconceived flaws he has is what draws Aleks to him in the first place.

Brett knows when to let go and when to be serious. Aleks wishes he could let go on that belief that workplace relationships will be messy but Brett doesn’t like him like that anyways. He could manage to turn Brett’s viewpoint around on that but he won’t achieve anything more on their front.

What they have now is great though and the more this day goes on, the more things seem to be getting… better.

* * *

Like Brett said, the ride wasn’t scary at all but it was still a lot of fun. Aleks’ only complaint was that it was too short.

“Did you see that lady shaking afterwards?” Aleks chuckles. “I mean, I feel bad for her but I don’t see what was so scary about it.”

“Some people have different thresholds for terror,” Brett explains. “Some scare easily, some don’t. Bet I can scare you though.”

Aleks scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Try me.”

“Close your eyes.”

And Aleks does.

Brett holds onto Aleks’ hips from behind and blows cool air against his ear to make him shiver. After doing so, he whispers, “our planet is slowly dying because of the rapid acceleration of global warming and the economy will be in shambles in the future due to previous generations, thus putting our financial safety at risk.”

“Jesus christ, dude,” Aleks mumbles as he hops out of Brett’s grip.

“Nothing scarier than the facts of life.” Brett nods and places his hands on his own hips as he proceeds to look around the park. “Wanna grab some ice cream or something else to eat real quick before we go somewhere else in the park? What do you wanna do, birthday boy?”

_ You, _ but Aleks has made that joke too many times this month and it’s only the first day. He hums and looks around, pursing his lips in contemplation until he sees Jurassic Park right across from where they are. Aleks pats Brett’s shoulder and points in that direction.

Brett follows his finger and smiles. “Hey, good idea. They’re closing that in a few days too so it’s best we get it in now before it’s lost forever.”

“Like our hopes and dreams.”

“I mean, I’ve always hoped I could fuck you and now I am.” Brett shrugs and looks Aleks up and down. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“You should know when I’m memeing and when I’m not,” Aleks says as he walks over to the entrance of Jurassic Park.

“Oh, I know it was a meme. But I wanted an excuse to say that and check you out.”

“You need an excuse to check me out?”

“No, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.”

Aleks grins and looks down to his feet. “You’re ridiculous,” he mumbles. “When did you realize you wanted to fuck me anyways?”

“Shit, I don’t even know,” Brett chuckles and looks up into the sky. “Uhhh… I don’t know the exact moment I realized I absolutely wanted to fuck you without a doubt but I remember the moment that made me start wondering about you.”

Aleks looks back to Brett and inches closer, their fingers brushing against each other. “When was that?”

“We were filming that water raft video,” Brett starts, “and for some reason, you just pulled down your pants in the middle of a river,” he chuckles. “You were shirtless too so it was just you, in a hat and boxers, you were totally wet, and... “ He shrugs. “I just stared. And stared. You looked real fucking good, and I would’ve stared forever if Joe didn’t suddenly squirt me in the fucking back with water. I still kinda hate him for doing that.”

“Didn’t you ask me what it was like to be fucked by a guy in that same day?” Aleks narrows his eyes at Brett and grins hugely.

“I did.” Brett nods. “I know what you’re thinking and yes, it was all related to each other.”

_ It’s 2016 and it’s a rather shady day at the Colorado River. _

_ Brett and Aleks have found themselves separated from everybody else but it’s all intentional. Aleks is supposed to swoop into the middle of the river and save everybody and Brett and Joe are supposed to film the entire thing. So far, everything is going according to plan. _

_ Everything besides Brett staring at his close friend for an uncomfortably long time but at least he acknowledges it. _

_ He and Aleks are walking the trail and Brett’s eyes keep drifting down towards his ass. He kind of hates himself for it. Kind of doesn’t, because he never realized how nice Aleks’ ass was. _

_ Brett swallows and takes a deep breath as he looks up to the back of Aleks’ head. “Hey uh… can I ask you something?” _

_ “Yeah dawg, what’s good?” _

_ “So this girl I’m kinda seeing,” Brett chuckles. “She like… she wants to peg me. You know, fuck me with a strap on?” _

_ “Ooh, you like those kinky girls, huh?” Aleks looks back to Brett and waggles his eyebrows. “What did you tell her?” _

_ Brett is seeing somebody, yes, but not somebody like **that**. He’s never seen a girl that wants to peg him, but how else is he supposed to ask Aleks? _

_ “Uh, had to think about it.” Brett shrugs. “But I just wanted to know, uh, what’s it like to be with a guy?” he asks. “I mean, what’s it like to be fucked?” _

_ “Damn, you just wanna know the deets on my sex life?” _

_ “J-Just so I could know-” _

_ “Yo, it’s cool,” Aleks chuckles. “Feels good,” he says casually. “Once you find the prostate, it’s lights out.” _

_ They’ve discussed this before. Brett knows the male g-spot is the prostate and he knows that Aleks has taken it at least once but he still finds himself wanting to know more. So much more. _

_ “So how much do you uh…” Brett shrugs. “How much do you take it?” _

_ “It’s kinda half and half. Depends on how I feel.” _

_ “Does your girlfriend uh, do that with you at all?” _

_ “... peg me?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Nah, she’s not into butt stuff. Sucks but I got two free hands so if I’m really aching to have something up there, I’ll just… do it on my own.” _

_ “So what’s better? Fucking a girl or being fucked by a guy?” _

_ “Fucking a girl always feels good,” Aleks says. “But when you’re being fucked by a guy who knows what he’s doing, it’s literally the best feeling in the world. Seriously, so much better than fucking a girl. Dude, it’s **beyond **description.” _

“Damn, dude.” Aleks shakes his head. “We could’ve fucked back then. What do you think that’d be like?”

Brett snorts. “Maybe we’d be dating each other right now,” he teases as his fingers slide against Aleks’.

What is Brett’s actual problem? _ Maybe we’d be dating each other, _ what the hell is that supposed to mean? There’s no other way to interpret it, yes, but Brett doesn’t date coworkers! Why even say something like that!! Why toy with Aleks’ mind like that!!! There’s no reason to say it! Why couldn’t he have just said “that’d be dope, dude” and pat Aleks’ ass?

_ Play it cool, dude. Just fucking play it- _

“We’re kind of dating right now,” Aleks says. “I mean, this is basically our first date.”

Brett bites at his bottom lip and looks down to their hands, so close yet so far. “Dates don’t… gotta be romantic. A date, by definition, is just uh, a social appointment.”

_ Oh my god, is that fine? _

“For sure, dude.” Aleks nods. “I go on dates with James all the time.”

“I go on dates with Lindsey all the time,” Brett says while he looks back to Aleks, pushes his hand against his.

“So…” Aleks raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. “This is a date?”

“... yeah,” Brett says softly. “Why not make it a date?”

And then he grabs onto Aleks’ hand to intertwine their fingers.

_ Okay. It's fine. _

Aleks looks down when he feels a comforting heat encasing his hand and with a smile, he curls his fingers against Brett’s. “Then it’s a date,” he repeats as he looks back up to Brett.

Brett smiles and squeezes Aleks’ hand. “Ready to enjoy Jurassic Park?”

“Ready to enjoy it with you.” Aleks’ smile brightens, Brett’s too, as they officially head into the area together.

It occurs to Aleks that maybe Brett didn’t forget to let go of his hand back then at all.

It occurs to him that maybe… Brett _wanted_ to hold his hand.

And then, in the deep, dark parts of Aleks’ mind that will stay in the deepest parts, Aleks thinks that maybe, just maybe, Brett even wants this to be an actual date - just like Aleks does.

It’s obvious why that thought is staying back there but if he knew what was going through Brett’s mind, if he knew how many thoughts that he and Brett share, it wouldn’t have to stay contained to that void at all.

In the light parts of Aleks’ mind, however, this is just another instance of things between them getting better. Aleks hopes it stays like that.

Brett does too.


	10. Drenched In Cosmic Rays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's then, with the other man's tongue up his asshole, that he decides they should go on dates like this more often.

After visiting Jurassic Park, Aleks and Brett took the studio tour to rest their legs and figure out what else to do with the day. Aleks had seen everything he wanted to see at Universal Studios so they’re gonna finish the night at Universal Citywalk.

It’s been a pretty chill time and Aleks already thinks it’s the best birthday he’s ever had. After all, what better way to spend his 25th year on this earth than with the hottest person he knows? They’re not fucking, but just being around Brett and talking to him is good enough.

And it’s basically their first date with each other. Brett said it himself! He… huh, he said it himself.

Brett said this was a date, and he wasn’t too hesitant about saying so. That kinda thing makes Aleks feel good but what does that mean for them?

He shouldn’t concern himself with that on his birthday, however. He’s here to have fun and not think about things! It’s like he told Brett,_ just think about us. _ Like, them in the moment, not them in the future.

They got dinner and dessert, saw a movie at the citywalk cinema, and now they’re dancing the night away in Howl At The Moon. Well, they _ were _ dancing the night away but now they’ve found themselves up against a wall and behind a pillar that sort of shields them from everyone else and it allows them to get up close and personal without anybody bothering them.

Nobody’s bothered them at all tonight. Aleks hopes that continues.

**[ ****♪ ]** **_Paradise Walk - Neon Rain_**

Brett’s hands are holding onto Aleks’ hips and Aleks has an arm wrapped around Brett’s neck, the other hand holding onto the collar of his tanktop. They’re taking their sweet time in kissing each other because as far as they’re concerned, the night is theirs. They have all the time in the world to do what they want with each other. The concept of time is lost.

_ “We danced around the sun and the moon...” _

Aleks wets his lips and tilts his head, bumps his nose against Brett’s to nuzzle them back and forth. The corner of his lips turns up into the smallest of grins as he seals their lips together once more and he delights in Brett’s content hum. His delight only grows when Brett’s hands move to hold onto the small of his back and Aleks allows Brett to press their bodies together, lets Brett slide his tongue along his lips before it pokes inside his willing mouth.

_ “Will this last forever?” _

When they’re this close, Aleks can feel Brett’s bulge pressing against his own and he becomes incredibly aware that they’re around people. They’re not truly alone with each other and they can’t do everything they’d like to with each other either, and that’s not necessarily sex. Around others, they can’t truly let go and be themselves to their fullest extent. While Aleks is happy to kiss Brett all night, it’s not all he wants to do.

_ “She’s dressed to kill, and she knows how to move...” _

Aleks pulls away from Brett’s lips and moves his hands up to frame Brett’s face in his hands so he can look him in the eyes. “I wanna be alone with you,” he says. “Can we go home?”

“You know we can’t do anything, right?” Brett grins. “You’re still sore.”

“I don’t wanna do anything like that,” Aleks assures. “I just wanna be with you, just the two of us. Only the two of us. Is that cool?”

_ “And I just get the feeling that I’m dreaming - I must be dreaming!” _

Brett reaches his hands up to hold onto Aleks’ wrists and he smiles as his thumbs rub back and forth along his skin. His eyes roam over Aleks’ face in a circle, cataloging all there is about it before he gives in with a nod. “Yeah, that’s more than cool,” he answers. “We can-”

“ALEKS?!?”

Aleks and Brett furrow their eyebrows in confusion. Aleks looks past Brett’s shoulder and Brett turns his head to see a stumbling Lindsey with a rather worried looking James right behind her.

“BRETT TOO!” Lindsey smiles brightly. “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?”

_ “You are my only way out! You are my only way...” _

Aleks leans in to whisper into Brett’s ear, “is she drunk?”

“Oh yeah.” Brett nods. “Absolutely.”

James grabs onto Lindsey’s shoulders from behind and leans down to talk against her ear. “Listen, Lindsey, we should get you back home.”

“Yo, are you and Lindsey here together?” Aleks grins and steps up to Brett’s side so he can better look at the two.

_ “The feeling that I’m dreaming!” _

“Nooo, but that’d be cool, wouldn’t it?!” Lindsey giggles and reaches her hand back to rest on James’ chest. “I facetimed James and I was like,_ ‘dude, come hang with me and my friends at Citywalk, what else are you doing tonight?!’ _ and he just came! Isn’t he cool?”

“Yeah, and you’re really drunk and should get back home,” James says. “Any other time, I’d love to-”

“Oh, will you lighten up? Here, maybe this will help…”

_ “You’re the only one that matters to me...” _

Aleks and Brett’s eyes widen as Lindsey turns to plant a big kiss right to James’ lips.

_ She’s definitely drunk. _

James closes his eyes and his shoulders relax as he brings a hand up to hold onto the back of Lindsey’s neck and it really seems like he’s going to give in… but then his face scrunches up and he grabs at Lindsey’s shoulders to push her away. “Yeah, okay, we’re getting you home,” he says before he reaches for Lindsey’s hand. “Come on, you’re super drunk and you shouldn’t be here.”

_ “You’ve got my heart, I’ve got my dreams!” _

Aleks and Brett poke their heads to the side to watch Lindsey happily follow James right out of the building. They’re not in front of the open doors long but it’s long enough for them to see their clothes immediately dampen from the rain outside.

Aleks hopes this was the thing they needed to take their heads out of their asses and realize the other likes them. He can’t imagine living in a situation like that!

“Ooh, yeah, we should go too,” Brett says. “Especially if it’s raining like that, best to get home now.”

“You think they’re gonna fuck now?”

_ “Through the lights and a thousand faces…” _

“They better not fuck now or I’m gonna beat James’ ass,” Brett chuckles and reaches for Aleks’ hand. “But if you mean like, sometime this week? Absolutely.”

“I kissed you when I was drunk and it took us a month to actually get around to fucking each other,” Aleks points out as he curls his fingers against Brett’s.

_ “Am I just lost in the rain? In the neon rain...” _

“Yes, one month. Singular. That really isn’t too long in the grand scheme of things.”

“So why is it only a week for them?”

“Because they’re both collectively smarter than I am.”

“I mean, they don’t even know the other likes them-”

“They do.” Brett squints his eyes and ducks his head to observe the rainfall. “They’re just afraid of rejection despite everything that tells them otherwise.”

_ “You’re the only one that matters to me!” _

In a world where Brett isn’t averse to being in a relationship with a coworker, Aleks still wouldn’t try to ask him out because of that fear. In a way, Aleks is sort of thankful that they can’t be together because of something beyond his control - it’s a 0% or 100% and Aleks loves to have definite knowledge. He’d hate to be the one that holds the both of them back from actually being together.

That’s also assuming Brett would like him and… Aleks actually isn’t too sure about that anymore.

_ “You’ve got my heart, I’ve got my dreams!” _

Aleks ducks his head to look at the rainfall with Brett. “It really isn’t that bad. It’s heavy but I don’t think it’s gonna be hard to run through.”

“We got each other, at least,” Brett sighs. “Let’s-”

“You know what I’ve never done before?” Aleks asks with a growing smile.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve never kissed in the rain.”

_ “Through the lights and a thousand faces!” _

Brett snorts and it turns into full blown laughter as he looks to Aleks. “That’s such a romance movie cliche. You know that, right?”

“So I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic.” Aleks looks back to Brett. “I thought the rest of the day gave off that impression.”

“Oh, it did.” Brett nods and looks out into the open world. “Luckily for you… I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic myself so let’s make these dreams come true.” And then he squeezes Aleks’ hand to take them out into the rain.

_ “Am I just lost in the rain? In the neon rain…” _

The raindrops hit Aleks’ nose and ricochets off his face. It makes his eyes squint together and the water is already soaking through his clothes, the chill is uncomfortably settling on his skin and it’s not the greatest feeling in the world - kind of disgusting, actually. But then Brett’s hands are on his face and they’re so warm, his breath is close and so hot, and it’s the exact heat Aleks’ body needs.

Brett kisses him hard and Aleks has to hold tightly onto his shoulders so he doesn’t get lost in the heavy rain. He follows the flow of Brett’s lips, much different than the rampant downpour - more of a cascading stream. The stream is strong and holds itself up, rebels against the elements and soon, Aleks doesn’t feel the cold, wet chill but the comforting rays of internal sunlight.

The sunlight from within radiates all over and warms Aleks’ body, Brett serving as the core. He’s warm and Aleks drags his nails along his wet shoulders to hold onto the back of his neck, plays with the ends of his hair and he opens his mouth to slide his tongue against Brett’s in an open display and Brett’s tongue pokes against Aleks’, swirls around it, and they both allow the kiss to degrade into something sloppy and… almost desperate.

The frenzied nature of the rain smooths over and instead of hindering them, it helps them. It runs along their clothes and skin, pierces through any lingering doubt and anxiety until they can just _be._ They only have to think about each other in this moment. The rest of the world washes away and is lost in the darkness of the skies above.

When they finally pull away, they look into each other’s eyes with the brightest their own has ever been. Their entire body is lit up by all sorts of sensations and positive emotions, and it lifts them up, as well as their lips, and they continue to smile as they reach their hands down to hold onto each other.

They hold tightly onto each other’s hands as they race through the rain, laughing madly into the night.

* * *

The first thing Brett and Aleks do when they make it back home is take off all their clothes. They are _way_ too wet to lounge in comfortably.

It’s the end of the night and they’re not going back out so Brett’s just in his briefs. Aleks walks into Brett’s bedroom wearing only his boxers and it seems to be another lazy night… _seems_ being the key word.

Admittedly, Brett wants more lazy nights with Aleks where they just chill in their underwear with no expectations of sex. He wants to hold Aleks in his arms and watch bad movies with him, until he can’t keep his eyes open any longer and he has to fall asleep and Aleks can follow right after him.

But it’s Aleks’ birthday tonight. For everything Aleks has done for Brett, especially giving the entirety of his body for Brett to do whatever with… Brett feels like he has to return that favor in some way.

How exactly that happens, he’s not sure. Until he figures it out, Brett is happy to cuddle with Aleks and keep him warm.

“Well hello, birthday boy,” Brett murmurs as he opens his arms. “You have a good birthday?”

“It was the best birthday.” Aleks grins and leans down to kiss Brett on the lips before he wraps his arms around his waist. “Thanks, daddy.”

“Ooh! I almost forgot!” Brett claps his hands and holds onto Aleks as he sits up on the bed. “Your last gift, lemme grab that real quick.”

“Your age is showing, Brett.”

“Don’t make daddy punish you, _sweet angel,”_ Brett warns while he climbs off the bed to walk over to his closet.

Aleks rolls his eyes and lays on his side to watch Brett. “So can this sweet angel get a hint of what you got for him?”

“You’re about to open it. You don’t need a hint,” Brett chuckles and picks up the golden gift bag from the closet. He drops the bag onto the bed and then he sits at the edge, leaning back on his arms. “Go ahead, you don’t need to unwrap anything. Just reach in.”

Aleks sits up on his knees and makes his way to the bag. He takes out the tissue papers and when he sees what’s inside, he furrows his eyebrows together and takes out the accessory, twisting and turning and peering inside to look at the material.

Brett bites at his lip nervously. “So uh… I was in Germany and I saw this and with everything we’ve been doing sex wise up until that, I thought, you know, maybe it’d be good to have that around. I don’t know if you’ll like it because I’m still not exactly sure how far I’m able to go with you-”

“This is exactly what I want.” Aleks grins and runs his fingers along the fur on the inside as he looks to Brett. “You really got me my own collar?”

“You’re mine,” Brett answers simply. “Wanted to really make that clear.”

“Which is why I’m glad you got it for me.” Aleks looks back down to the collar and glides his finger against the clasp. “Might not be able to do anything tonight but I definitely wanna use this with you in the next week or two.”

“I can make that happen for you.” Brett watches Aleks’ fingers toy with the collar before they dip down to grab the leash. He gnaws at his bottom lip and taps his fingers against his thigh in thought.

_ It might be a good time to bring it up now. _

Brett swallows and brings his hand over to rest on top of Aleks’, gently squeezing it to get his attention. “Listen, um, your ass might be sore but…” he purses his lips over to the side. _ Am I really about to tell him this? _ He breathes in deeply and looks up to Aleks, swiping his tongue back and forth along his lips quickly. “Uh. Fuck,” he chuckles. “I’ve never had to ask or tell somebody this before.”

“Tell them what?” Aleks tilts his head. “What’s up?”

“Uh… I’m trying to say that I’m not sore,” Brett answers. “My ass isn’t sore so… if you wanna like, do something to it tonight - not fucking, but everything else - you can… do that. If you want.”

Aleks’ eyes widen and his face beams brightly. “Dude, seriously?”

“It’s gonna happen at some point,” Brett tells him. “Today’s your birthday and I’m pretty curious about it myself so you know,” he shrugs, “why not try that tonight?”

Aleks slides his hand out of Brett’s grip and throws the both of his fists in the air as he looks up to the ceiling. “Thank you, gay sex god!” he exclaims. “This is the best birthday ever!”

Brett laughs and climbs up on the bed so he can lay down against the headboard. “You’re really excited to put me in my place, huh?”

“Brett, you’re the fucking manliest man I know,” Aleks explains. “And I get to play with your ass and make you feel the way you make me? Dude, you have no idea how awesome this is.”

“Well I’m glad that you’re glad,” Brett says. “Because I won’t let anybody else up there. Nothing against taking it up the ass, I just trust you a whole lot and you seem like you know what you’re doing.”

Aleks prides himself on being a good power bottom so it makes sense that he’ll know how to play with Brett’s ass in a way that won’t make him uncomfortable. If Brett decides he wants to stop, he knows Aleks won’t have a problem in ending it. Aleks has been in this position so many times, basically knows it like the back of his hand and he probably knows a few things Brett doesn’t. Hell, maybe Brett will learn a thing or two more about how to perfectly dominate Aleks.

They’re friends with benefits and one of the benefits is exploring with each other. Brett’s done it on his own but he’s not an expert like Aleks. Maybe Aleks is exactly what he needs to fully realize how awesome it is to really stick something up there.

Brett looks to Aleks and follows his eyesight down to the collar. Aleks’ eyes are squinted in deep thought while he looks back and forth between the collar and Brett and Brett squints his eyes too, in curiosity at whatever the hell is going through that beautiful head of his.

“You okay?” Brett asks.

“Just thinking,” Aleks mumbles. He licks along his lips and looks back down to the collar as he presses on the clasp to open it and then he slowly scoots his way to Brett.

“Uhhh, what are you doing?” Brett asks as he cautiously looks to the collar.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course. I just wanna know what you’re thinking.”

“You gave me this collar, right? It’s my gift?”

“It is. It’s yours-”

“So I can do what I want with my gift.” Aleks looks up at Brett and raises an eyebrow. “Especially if it’s my birthday.”

_ Ohhhhh... _

Brett chuckles nervously and rests his hand right on top of the waistband of his briefs and he isn’t sure how to feel about the fact that his dick is starting to harden. “You uh… want me to wear that? Is that what you’re asking?”

Aleks smiles as he goes to straddle Brett’s lap and he holds up the collar for Brett to look at. “You’d be a real good daddy, wearing it for me.”

Brett swallows and looks down to the trademark symbol of submission.

He’s not a stranger to being in that role at all but it was never heavy. It was always light, like when Aleks rides him and demands for Brett to say he belongs to Aleks, stuff like that. Brett still held a remnant of power but he’s the one taking it tonight. Aleks isn’t even fucking him but still, that’s another person playing with his ass.

It might be something he told himself he’d do with Aleks, and he will, but it doesn’t come without its share of nerves.

Aleks drops the collar to the bed and lowers himself on Brett’s body to rest his ass right over Brett’s clothed cock. He holds onto Brett’s neck and moves his mouth by his ear to whisper, in a very soothing tone, “I just wanna show you what a good daddy you are. I wanna worship you and make you feel good, just like you do with me. Pretty please, daddy?”

_ “It’s just a blowjob, Brett,” Aleks assures him with a soft voice. “One blowjob, that’s it. It’s not going to kill you.” _

_ Brett looks off to the side and runs his hands back through his hair, closing his eyes and taking slow, deep breaths, in and out, as his mind wavers back and forth between finally allowing himself to do _ ** _something_ ** _ with Aleks or to walk out of this hotel room and act like that drunk night didn’t happen. _

_ Aleks rests the other hand on Brett’s chest and wets his lips as he moves his mouth by Brett’s ear, exhaling hotly against it. “Pretty please, daddy?” he asks in the sexiest voice he can muster. _

Aleks always knows how to get his way. He knows just what to say and what to do to get Brett to give in and Brett acts like it’s evil but it really isn’t. One of them needs to speak up for what they both want and sometimes, that’s not the best thing to do but then other times, it’s worth it to let go, stop overthinking, and just have fun.

If Aleks can trust Brett, even when Brett is choking the life out of him, Brett can trust Aleks to do anything in the world with him. He’s happy to be Aleks’ servant for tonight.

Brett closes his eyes and leans his head back. “Put it on me,” he says quietly.

With a smile, Aleks sits up with the collar in his hand and he, very gently, clasps it around Brett’s neck. Brett slides his finger underneath to test the fit and he’s pleasantly surprised that it isn’t tight on him. It’s snug but comfortable, though it’s obvious there’s a constant presence on his neck.

“How does it feel?” Aleks asks.

Brett opens his eyes and tells Aleks that “it’s soft. Feels fine.”

Aleks nods and moves down Brett’s body to grab the waistband of his briefs. “Good. Then let’s take these off.”

Brett watches Aleks pull his briefs down and the moment his hardness is out in the open, he can’t help but reach down to give it a few tugs. He closes his eyes and moans softly at the brief bout of pleasure but suddenly it stops and Brett can’t help but groan at the loss of sensation.

Aleks snags Brett’s hand away from his length. “I didn’t say you could touch yourself, daddy,” Aleks tells him lowly.

“Please, angel?”

Aleks smiles at the name, but shakes his head. “Not until I say it’s okay.” He looks down to Brett’s ass and narrows his eyes. “Where’s your prostate massager? Did you bring that back with you?”

Brett chuckles and opens his eyes. “No, I just left it in the hotel room for anybody to use-”

Aleks levels a burning stare into Brett’s eyes at his smart ass attitude and Brett tenses underneath it. He swallows and nods before he softly says, “yes.”

“Where is it?”

“In a box under my bed.”

As Aleks climbs off the bed to look under for the box, Brett takes that time to go back to jerking himself off. He rolls his lips back and bites down hard to hold back any noises so Aleks doesn’t find out. He can’t go too quick either, lest Aleks hears the sound of his hand working away-

“What the hell did you buy in Germany, dude?” Aleks chuckles. “You got a fucking cock ring and a bunch of other stuff in that box-”

His and Brett’s eyes fixate on each other and Brett’s hand freezes mid stroke. Brett feels like he did when he was a teenager and his dad walked in on him with his girlfriend at the time, and he was just as scared then as he is now.

“Uh,” Brett chuckles and slowly lets go of his cock. “Hey. I was uh-”

“Touching yourself without being told?” Aleks drops the massager on the nightstand and grabs the sides of his boxers to pull them down his legs. “Do you think I’m just gonna like, let it slide?”

Brett shakes his head quickly and backs up against the headboard to get away from the stalking Aleks. “No, angel, I don’t think that-”

“So why aren’t you taking me seriously, daddy?” Aleks asks.

He is taking Aleks seriously! He just… fuck, he’s never done this before. It’s so weird for Brett to follow strict orders and he sort of forgets that he’s not the one calling the shots but Aleks, oh, he just slides into the role fine.

And then there’s that part of Brett that’s curious to see what Aleks will do to him. He doesn’t doubt at all that Aleks will punish him and he won’t skimp on it either so he takes Aleks very seriously. It’s just all brand new to him.

“You know, there was a little something else in that bag too,” Aleks points out as he grabs the bag on the nightstand to reach inside for the leash. “Come here.”

Brett looks to the leash and shakes his head. “I don’t think-”

**“Brett,”** Aleks says firmly. “Come here. Now.”

He doesn’t say a word, just nods and ducks his head in shame as he crawls over to Aleks to sit on his spread knees. He rests his hands right in between his legs and waits for Aleks to attach the leash to the front and then he looks up to watch Aleks stand at the foot of the bed.

Aleks looks how he always does when they have sex. He’s still as pretty and slender as ever and the marks that Brett had left him with from days ago are present on his neck but they’re somewhat faded - still a sign that he’s Brett’s. But Brett’s neck is just as ravaged, more so, a sign that he’s Aleks’, and it’s obvious he’s Aleks’ right now.

Aleks looks the same but the aura that radiates from him is much different - it’s almost threatening. His face has hardened and his cock is standing at full attention and it might not be thick like Brett’s but it’s got a pretty nice length to it. Honestly, Brett is amazed that he can easily deepthroat Aleks considering that. He can’t imagine having that_ inside him._

He’s going to have to though because they’re going to do it. They _will_ do it, not tonight but certainly at some point in the future. Brett’s actually excited for that day but he’s nowhere near ready for that right now.

Aleks wraps the leash around his hand and gives it a good tug downwards so Brett is forced on his hands and knees and Brett grunts when Aleks yanks his head back by his hair.

“Listen to me,” Aleks grits the words through his teeth against Brett’s ear. “Do as I say or you’re not gonna be the daddy anymore.”

Does that mean… Aleks would be daddy? Ha! Aleks as a daddy! That’s… that’s not a bad thought at all, actually. Why does Brett find the idea of that kind of thrilling? No matter how thrilling it is, he wants to be Aleks’ daddy above all else and he doesn’t wanna fail his good boy, his _angel._

“I wanna be your daddy,” Brett whines. “I love being your daddy, please-”

“Then be a good daddy for your _good boy.”_ Aleks roughly lets go of Brett’s hair and climbs up onto the bed beside him, moving past his body to the headboard. “I need you back here, daddy.”

“Coming, angel.”

Brett follows Aleks back to the headboard and allows Aleks to push him down onto his back. He takes a page from Aleks’ book and rests his hands by the sides of his head to show his submission as he watches Aleks reach for the massager on the nightstand. After Aleks drops that besides Brett, he grabs the lube from within and when he makes it back to Brett, he lets go of the leash.

“Don’t make me have to use that again, okay?” Aleks asks softly as he looks up to Brett. “I don’t like having to do that to you, daddy.”

Brett nods. “Yes, angel.”

Aleks sighs in relief and leans down to kiss Brett’s forehead. “Thank you,” he whispers. “So here’s what I’m about to do to you. Are you listening?”

“Loud and clear.”

“I’m gonna finger you open,” Aleks says. “I’m gonna rim you a little too and after I slide in your massager, I’m gonna show you just how much I appreciate you and your sexy body.” He licks his lips and looks Brett’s body up and down, from his built chest to those thick thighs. “How does that sound, daddy?”

“It sounds so good, angel,_ thank you,”_ Brett breathes out. “You’re so good to me.”

Brett doesn’t deserve Aleks.

Aleks shouldn’t be wasting his time with him but Brett is so glad that he is because he wouldn’t know what to do with himself otherwise. Sex and love is more complicated with him around but it’s a lot more satisfying too and that makes those wavering doubts worth it.

Brett doesn’t ask for anything in return. He knows what this is. He’s thankful for what he has. He’s thankful that, out of millions of people in this world, Aleks chose _him._

“You be good for me, I be good for you,” Aleks tells him. “It’s the other way around too. Turn onto your side, back facing me.”

Brett turns his back to Aleks and reaches his hand up to hold onto the front of his collar, the other grasping at the comforter. He can hear the _ “pop” _of the lube bottle and the quiet noises of Aleks slicking up his fingers and he tightens his hold on the comforter, closes his eyes as he tries to relax.

“Hey, let me know if you want it to stop,” Aleks says. “Just like, keep me updated, you know?”

“I will,” Brett promises. “Just go slow.”

Brett shoulders relax when Aleks leaves a butterfly kiss to his shoulder and he rests his head back on the pillow. When Aleks’ cool, wet fingers trail the rim of his hole, Brett exhales a shuddering breath and clenches on instinct.

“Relax, daddy,” Aleks whispers into his ear. “It’s okay.”

He knows it’s going to be okay but Brett can’t help it. It’s something besides his own fingers trying to get up there and it’s alien to him. It’s unfamiliar and he has an idea of what to expect, he’s not scared, but it’s new. And then… what if it’s nothing like Brett expects? What if he just disappoints Aleks?

“I’m just glad that you trust me enough to let me do this,” Aleks says as he presses two of his fingers to rub at Brett’s opening. “I’m not asking for a lot from you.”

Brett breathes in slowly, in and out, and runs his teeth along his bottom lip before he lets go with a smack. “If you can take it, so should I.”

“You’re new to this,” Aleks chuckles. “I’ve had fucking years of experience, dude. It’s okay, seriously. You’re doing fine.”

Brett brings his arm up to wrap it around Aleks’ neck from the front to keep him close. “Give me one finger. I’ll let you know when I can take more.”

“You got it.”

Brett’s eyes screw tighter shut at the intrusion of the first finger and a moan falls from his lips when Aleks presses it all the way to the knuckle. It slowly moves around inside him, wriggling back and forth in circular motions to broaden his internal walls.

“I didn’t expect you to be so tight, daddy,” Aleks breathes out a chuckle. “But it’s real hot.”

A smile pulls up the corner of Brett’s lips and his toes curl. “Glad you approve, angel,” he says.

“I approve everything about you,” Aleks murmurs against his ear. “Every single thing about you is so hot. You drive me crazy, daddy.”

“Trust me, that feeling is very mutual.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t even have an idea of what you do to me,” Brett chuckles and shakes his head. “You just…”

Aleks is what Brett’s mind revolves around for the majority of the time. He usually does things with Aleks in mind, conscious or not, and he’d walk through fire and brimstone just to see him smile because if he can be the one to put that gorgeous smile on that perfect face, then that’s all he needs to keep going.

It was never supposed to be like this.

Aleks just sort of came into his life one day and it wasn’t until many years later that it finally hit Brett that, _ oh, I actually really want Aleks. Huh. I should probably sort that out, _ and that realization hit him so quick it gave whiplash. It would’ve been nice if he could see the signs sooner, so he could better prepare himself, but he didn’t, and as a result, Aleks has propped up a lounge chair in his mind, opened a nice, cold beer, and is currently watching Brett deal with the changes in his life that arose all because of him.

Brett presses his ass back against Aleks and hums. “You just rule my fucking life, I swear.”

That’s a great way to encompass everything he was feeling without _totally_ giving away everything, and thus scare Aleks away.

Aleks looks off to the side and mumbles to himself, “you’re telling me…”

The first finger is mostly uneventful but it gets Brett quickly accustomed to the idea of Aleks putting more inside him. After a few minutes, the weirdness ebbs into something… more familiar, still weird, but it’s manageable

Brett gyrates his hips and with a hum, he says, “give me one more, angel.”

Aleks slides in the second finger and presses deep. He turns them around and crooks them back and forth and he smirks at the loud moan Brett gives. “You like that?” he asks against his ear.

“Fuck yeah,” Brett moans and arches his back. “Keep going, please, that’s so good-”

“I’ll let the massager worry about that area,” Aleks tells him. “This is to open you up and get you comfortable.”

“But Allllleks,” Brett whines. “It feels so good-”

“I know what I’m doing,” Aleks says with a lower pitch. “Just trust me. Daddy will get what he needs soon enough.”

Brett huffs and screws his eyes back shut as he tries to focus on the pleasure Aleks does decide to give him and it might not be as great as the initial bout but it’s enough for small moans to continuously escape his mouth. As Aleks opens and closes his fingers, twists and turns, Brett’s hips follow his movements to chase the growing pleasure and he takes his arm off Aleks’ neck so he can grip at the sheets for purchase.

This feels better with Aleks fingering him. Their fingers are the same size and while Brett’s the one that knows most about how his body works, how it responds, Aleks is the expert that helps him figure out the new things about his body. The way his fingers curl, the speed at which they move, it’s like second nature to him and soon, Brett relaxes entirely.

So of course, that’s when Aleks takes his fingers out.

“Aleks!” Brett whines and begins to turn to face him but then Aleks shoves him onto his stomach.

“Patience,” Aleks says, soft but edges on a warning. “Gonna rim you now. Don’t give me a reason not to do that.”

Brett wraps his arms around the pillow and frowns as he rests his cheek on top. “I’m sorry, angel.”

Aleks grins at the back of Brett’s head and looks his way as he makes it behind his body. “You know something? You sound pretty when you whine.”

_ “Pretty?” _ Brett raises his eyebrows and looks back to Aleks.

“Never been called pretty before?”

“I’m usually called hot. Or manly. Or… handsome.” Brett shrugs and rests his head back on the pillow. “Cute and pretty aren’t really things associated with me.”

And hey, that’s fine. Cute and pretty aren’t necessarily in the same world as hot or handsome. They’re all used to describe somebody’s good looks but they have different meanings. Aleks typically gets called cute and pretty, whereas Brett is called manly and handsome. He doesn’t mind being called pretty but it’s new, much like everything else being done to him right now.

Brett likes it. He sort of wishes he could be called that more often.

“They should,” Aleks tells him as he grabs his asscheeks to spread them apart. “Cause you’re real fucking cute and pretty.” He lets the spit build up in his mouth and then he lets it drip from his tongue and onto Brett’s waiting hole before he dives in to eagerly tongue his opening.

“WOAH, woah,_ fuck me, _ oh my god!” Brett gasps sharply and turns his head to press his forehead into the pillow. “Shit,_ fuck,_ that’s so good.”

Brett has no idea why it feels so good, but it does. If there’s any gay sex act that can make him scream and shake, he bets it’s this. Aleks’ tongue is wet and warm and it helps that he seems super fucking into it, and that goes a long way into his pleasure. He’d rather have sex with a below average looking person who’s into it then sex with a super hot person who isn’t.

Thankfully, Aleks is the hottest person ever _and _he’d do anything for Brett in the bedroom. He really lucked out with Aleks as the submissive… the submissive who’s eating his ass and won’t hesitate in using that leash to put Brett in his place but it’s just for tonight.

Not that tonight will be the only night they do this, mind you.

“You fucking taste so good,” Aleks says as he looks up to the back of Brett’s head. “Not as good as your dick, but real fucking close. Like, finger width, close.”

“Aleks, _ get the fuck back down there,” _ Brett groans. “Eat my fucking ass-”

“Say please.”

Brett huffs. “Please, angel.”

“Please what?” Aleks grins.

“Please, eat daddy’s ass,” Brett pleads. “I need it so bad, angel, need your fucking amazing tongue so fucking bad, fuck,_ Aleks,_ please-”

“God, you sound so fucking pretty when you beg,” Aleks groans and leaves an open mouth kiss to one of Brett’s asscheeks. “I got you, daddy, I promise.”

Brett cries out when Aleks goes back to the task at hand and, he didn’t know it was possible, but Aleks is more enthusiastic than ever. His tongue presses hard on Brett’s hole, quickly licks up and down, and he trails it down to tease Brett’s balls before he follows the line back up to tongue at the spot between his hole and his balls.

Brett gasps and lets out a whine as he lets go of the pillow to claw hard at the comforter. He wrings the comforter tightly in his hands, scrapes against the material, and he hisses when the nails of one of Aleks’ hands sink into his asscheek, not even registering that Aleks took his other hand off his ass.

Aleks’ tongue circles Brett’s hole and as he looks up to Brett, right when he presses his tongue inside, his free hand grabs ahold of his leash. Aleks manages to turn Brett’s collar around by guiding the leash and then he tugs it backwards to force Brett’s head back.

“Aleks!” Brett cries. “You said-” He slams his eyes shut with a whine when Aleks spanks him.

“I know what I said,” Aleks tells him. “But I love the noises you make too much.”

Brett wants to complain about Aleks’ hypocrisy but he can’t deny that he kind of likes being treated like this. Dominating Aleks is the most fun in the world, don’t get him wrong, but it feels good to have somebody manhandle him and do what they want. He’s so used to taking charge and telling people what to do, so overcome with responsibilities, that it feels good to just follow orders and go with the flow.

He only has one person to answer to right now and that’s Aleks. Aleks is the only person he needs to be good for and the only person he needs to impress which, thankfully, is not a hard feat to achieve.

Brett moans and mewls as Aleks eats his hole and he constantly pushes back on his mouth, gryates his hips on his tongue and arches his back like a fucking bitch in heat whenever Aleks’ tongue moves_ just right_ inside him. He’s somewhat aware of the way he’s acting right now, sort of like how Aleks acts whenever Brett rims him, and Brett gets it now. He gets why Aleks goes fucking crazy whenever he’s fucked because it feels so good right now and it’s_ only_ Aleks’ mouth.

The day Aleks fucks him is going to be a real fun day. It’s not this one, and Brett kind of wishes he would’ve prepared himself for that possibility because he’s real curious about getting fucked now, but he has something to look forward to. That and fucking Aleks in that collar and leash. He wasn’t uh… expecting to be the one to wear that for the first time but it’s nice. And fun! All of this is nice and fun!

Everything is nice with Aleks. Brett doesn’t think he’d like anything they’re doing tonight if he did it with anybody else but Aleks just gets him. Even when they’re around friends, he still longs to be alone with Aleks so he can really be himself and let go and it makes Brett wonder why they don’t hang out more often, just the two of them.

Why do they need to go out with friends all the time? Why do that when they can just hang out with each other and hold hands, sneak away to steal kisses, flirt with no closely watching eyes?

That’s when Brett decides, while he’s moaning like a total slut with Aleks’ tongue right up his ass, that they should go on dates more often.


	11. Flying In Close Orbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cow Chop visits the PAX West convention and Aleks and Brett can't help but be handsy with each other - in front of their friends, and in front of their fans.

**September 2nd, 2017**

Aleks groans in annoyance at the ringing of the alarm and he tightens his hold around Brett’s waist when he feels Brett shifting to turn it off. “Dude, it’s fucking Saturday, why is our alarm going off?” he asks.

“Because we gotta fly to PAX today,” Brett yawns and turns off the ringing alarm before he turns in Aleks’ arms. “I wish we could stay in though. I’m still like… pretty fucking mind blown from last night,” he chuckles.

_ Aleks is sat up against the headboard, legs spread with Brett lying back against his front. He’s got a hand jerking Brett off and the other resting over his chest to keep him steady. _

_ “Fuck, _ ** _fuck,_ ** _ Aleks,” Brett whimpers and digs his nails tightly into the leather of his collar while Aleks quickens his hand, his own body tensing and his hips circling as it chases the pleasure from his prostate massager. “Aleks, baby, I’m so close, keep going.” _

_ “I got you, daddy.” Aleks kisses the top of Brett’s head and then looks down the length of his body. “You’re such a great daddy, you know that? You’ve been so good for me, making all of these pretty noises - you made your good boy very happy.” _

_ The praise is just what Brett needs to push him over the edge and as his eyes slam tightly shut, he arches his back into Aleks’ hand with a loud cry. His head throws back and his cries mix with whines and soft whimpers as his load spills from his cock and onto his stomach, shoots up to his neck, and drips down Aleks’ hand. Aleks jerks him through the bliss of his orgasm until he’s milked every drop and after he does so, he brings his messy hand to Brett’s lips. _

_ “Clean it,” Aleks tells him in a firm voice. _

_ Brett brings his hands up to hold onto Aleks’ arm, licking his mess off with a moan and Aleks continues to gather up the rest of Brett’s load to feed it back to him, until he’s entirely clean again. _

When that was done with, Brett gave Aleks a blowjob and then they fell asleep, Aleks as the big spoon and Brett as the little spoon. Aleks would’ve loved to do that with Brett all night but it was already a long day before that. Besides, he won’t complain about spooning a big, strong man like Brett, especially after fingering and rimming said big, strong man.

“How did it feel to be on the other side?” Aleks asks as he throws a leg around Brett’s waist to pull himself closer to his body.

“Honestly?” Brett holds onto Aleks’ leg with one hand, the other arm resting under his head. “It was a lot of fun. I’ve never been like that with anybody before but uh, I really needed it.” He nods and looks down between them. “It’s nice not having to take charge all the time.”

Aleks smiles and brings a hand up to cup Brett’s cheek. “Well you don’t have to take charge all the time,” he assures him. “Just let me know when you want another night like that and I’ll be happy to take care of you.”

Brett should be able to not have responsibilities for once. Aleks doesn’t have as many duties as Brett does, despite him and Brett both being owners of Cow Chop, but even he gets stressed from time to time trying to run it. He can’t properly imagine the weight Brett carries every day but he can try to make it better.

He’s quite a fan of domination too so he isn’t going to say no to that. It’s rare he fucking finds a guy that’ll let him dominate in the first place, because most guys look at Aleks and cast him aside as some twinky pretty boy that should be thrown around and manhandled. Aleks loves all of those things but it’s not the epitome of who he is. He doesn’t want it_ all the time. _ Aleks is just… down for pretty much anything that involves him and a hot guy.

“You did a great job at taking care of me.” Brett looks into Aleks’ eyes with a smile of his own. “Also? You eat ass like a fucking professional,” he laughs. “Gotta say, I’m a bit jealous of those skills.”

“You’re jealous of my ass eating, I’m jealous of your deepthroating.” Aleks shrugs. “Makes sense.”

“It’s why we work so well with each other, you know?”

That’s what Aleks is trying to say! They fit so well together so it would make so much sense if they dated! Aleks thinks their personalities come together in a perfect mesh and they’re quite similar in their interests, they share a few personality traits, but they have things the other is missing.

Brett’s what he needs and, if you ask Aleks, he’s what Brett needs.

Brett raises his eyebrows when his phone vibrates and he tilts his body to grab it from the nightstand to read the notification flashing over the screen. “Ooh, good news!”

“Already in its first few days, a billion people have subscribed to our Patreon?”

“That’ll never happen!” Brett cheers. “But our Delta seats just got upgraded! We’re all heading into first class, baby!”

Aleks’ shoulders slump and he looks up at the ceiling with a bit of a frown. “So we’re not sitting next to each other?”

“Aleks,_ it’s first class-” _

“I know it’s first class,” Aleks says. “That really is cool, seriously. It’s not because I like, wanna be by your side 24/7 or anything,”_ though I wouldn’t mind that, _“but I just get really fucking anxious on flights and it’d be nice to sit with you or James or someone. Specifically you, because, you know, but… yeah.”

Ugh, he thinks he sounds so pathetic right now. He thinks he sounds like a clingy girlfriend but he really just wants to sit with somebody he knows! It actually has nothing to do with Brett at all, surprisingly. Aleks would be just as annoyed if it meant he couldn’t sit next to James!

Brett’s smile teeters on a line between fond and remorseful as he looks over Aleks’ less than beatific despondent. “Awww, Aleks,” Brett cooes and sets his phone back down on the nightstand as he wraps his arms around Aleks’ waist. He rolls over onto his back to allow Aleks to return the hug and then he says, “we’re gonna be sitting next to each other on the flight back home. The flight won’t be long anyways.”

Aleks makes a weird noise of discontent and it’s the only response he gives to Brett as he hides his face in his neck. It’s warm too and it gives Aleks a sense of comfort so he presses his face in more to submerge himself in that security.

Brett’s hand drifts upwards to rest on the back of Aleks’ head, nails scratching back and forth against his scalp. “Maybe if I come in you and plug you up, it’ll be like I’m there with you.”

Aleks actually chuckles and looks up to Brett. “I mean, my ass isn’t too sore this morning so…” He shrugs and smiles.

“We’ll see how you feel when we get back from PAX, okay?” Brett chuckles and looks down to Aleks. “You know what might actually help though?”

“Do tell.”

“You wanna take a selfie right now?” Brett suggests. “Anytime you’re feeling anxious, all you gotta do is look at that selfie and know that your good daddy, Brett, is there for you.”

Aleks’ head perks up, along with his demeanor, and he looks to Brett with a hopeful glint in his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

“Aleks, if I ever say no to that question, I want you to slap me.”

The smile on Aleks’ face is big enough to make his eyes squint and there’s no traces of anxiety in his expression at all. He lets Brett pull their bodies up to sit against the headboard and he wraps his arms around one of Brett’s, rests his chin on top his shoulder.

Brett grabs his phone and opens the camera to face them. With a smile, he looks over to Aleks and asks, “are you ready?”

When Aleks nods, Brett beckons him forward with an index finger and as he tilts Aleks’ chin up with that finger and his thumb, he presses their lips together.

Aleks sighs through his nose and his body relaxes, so much so that he doesn’t hear the _ snap _ of the camera and Brett hears it but doesn’t acknowledge it, just continues to kiss Aleks, and allows Aleks to be the one who stops it when he wants.

Preferably, Aleks wants to kiss Brett all day. He’d love to stay in with him and leave PAX behind, leave everything behind if he could, but that’s not a luxury he has. Still, kissing Brett for a few minutes right now is a better luxury than nothing at all.

They pull away and rest their foreheads against each other, soft smiles on both of their faces that do nothing to express how truly happy they are on the inside.

“Thanks, daddy,” Aleks whispers against his lips. “For everything.”

Brett steals one more peck to the lips before he whispers back, “anything for you, angel.”

While the anxiety was still ever present on the flight, one look at that picture does a tremendous job in squeezing most of its life out. Anytime Aleks feels it coming back on, he just has to keep looking at that picture, keep thinking back to their morning together.

He realizes that it’s not even the picture that does the trick. Just thinking about him and Brett together is all Aleks needs but that selfie certainly doesn’t hurt. It’s the first one they’ve ever taken together in such an intimate context as well and Aleks kind of wants to take more. He wouldn’t mind a selfie after sex or even selfies of them kissing.

It’s a sneak peek into the life he _could_ have with Brett if it were a perfect world but they’re somewhat close to it so Aleks isn’t going to throw a fit.

* * *

They’re finally in Seattle for PAX West and after heading to the downtown area, Brett, Aleks, James, and Joe, have decided to go to PF Chang’s for lunch - only because the Cheesecake Factory was too far away for them to walk to.

_ I wanna go there with Aleks one night. _

PF Chang’s is just as good but what isn’t good is the wasabi. There’s a good dab of leftover wasabi in the middle of the table, that nobody wants to eat, but Brett has Joe filming him right now for their Patreon and everybody is arguing with each other to eat the wasabi and give these awesome Patreon subscribers entertaining content - just for $5 a month!

“I’m not fuckin’ eating that, dude,” James chuckles and immediately looks down to his phone when it begins to vibrate again, for what seems to be the millionth time since they landed in Seattle.

“Joe, how about you eat the wasabi?” Brett asks.

“Nah, man, I gotta be the one to film it,” Joe chuckles from behind the camera.

Brett sighs and lifts the wasabi up with his fork. “Ohhh, Aleksandr~” he beckons in the sweetest tone.

“Dude, no, I’m not gonna eat the whole thing,” Aleks says as he holds his hand up to the approaching fork. “Maybe like, a tiny bit, but not the whole thing.”

James looks back and forth between Aleks and Brett with a smirk before he focuses that attention on Aleks. “Do you have to say that to Brett while you’re - ow, man!” James hisses as he reaches under the table to rub his leg that Aleks just kicked.

Aleks raises his eyebrows in a warning at James before he crosses his arms on top the table.

Aleks and Brett are sitting next to each other and across from James and Joe respectively. Aleks was originally sitting next to James but then James got up to go to the bathroom and Brett slid in beside him and Joe kind of gave Brett a weird look but neither of them really noticed because it’s hard for them to notice anything more that isn’t each other.

“Listen, your stomach might be ruined forever but everybody would respect you,” Brett reasons.

“Brett, we have a panel,” Aleks defends.

“A _signing_ and a panel,” Joe reminds them all.

“Brett, why don’t you do it?” Aleks asks as he takes the chopsticks to grab the wasabi from Brett’s fork. “Open up-

Brett whines and leans back against the seat. “Whyyy? It’s not worth it.”

“You’re the one that started this!”

Brett shakes his head and looks over into the camera. “Sorry, Patreon, I don’t think it’s worth it-”

“Eat it!” Aleks demands as he tries to shove the wasabi in Brett’s mouth but Brett keeps moving his head, the wasabi barely missing.

“Nooo!” Brett looks away from the camera and rests his hands over his face. “Give up!”

“Breeett, pretty please?” Aleks raises his eyebrows at Brett and gently shakes his shoulder with his free hand he smiles when Brett lowers his hands to look him in the eyes.

“He said pretty please,” Joe repeats. “You gotta do it now. He asked nicely.”

Aleks nods and waves the wasabi back and forth in front of Brett’s face and his smile widens when Brett smiles back at him and shakes his head, not in disagreement but in mock exasperation.

Brett would take a bullet for Aleks, even if Aleks was the one pulling the trigger, and he sort of is right now. That wasabi is going to majorly fuck up his stomach, he’ll have to drink water constantly through the day, but when Aleks is smiling so big at him and saying things like _ pretty please, _Brett finds it hard to deny him.

“Alright, fine,” Brett sighs and closes his eyes. “Stick it in there.”

With a laugh, Aleks places the wasabi in Brett’s mouth and then he forces Brett’s mouth closed as he helps him chew it. Brett’s eyes screw tighter shut and he grimaces at the spiciness that sends through his body and usually, he can handle spice, but this is way more than he can handle.

He’s a big, strong man though so he swallows it down with relative ease, given the context. Aleks lets go of his chin and Brett takes a long drink of his water before he sets it back down on the table with a satisfying, _ “ah”. _

“That was too much,” Brett says as he drops his hands by his sides. “My senses are like, on fucking fire right now.”

“But now everybody respects you,” Joe teases as he slides out from the booth. “I’ll be back.”

And as Joe walks away to find the restroom, Brett feels a warmth over his hand and when he looks down, he sees that Aleks is holding his hand right on top of the seat. Brett looks up to James, who’s entirely enamored phone, and then he looks to Aleks, who’s entirely enamored with… him?

It’s no accident what Aleks is doing. He’s aware that he’s holding Brett’s hand in public but he doesn’t seem scared at all. There’s no hints of trepidation anywhere on his face, in his despondent, it’s pure confidence, like he knows Brett won’t mind.

Brett doesn’t mind at all.

Brett wishes they could do this more often.

Aleks gives a small smile and looks down to their hands before he looks to James and asks, “who have you been fucking texting all day dude?”

A slow smile graces Brett’s face when he fully realizes what Aleks is doing and he squeezes Aleks’ hand in a reassuring fashion before he looks to James.

“Just texting Lindsey,” James answers without looking up from his phone.

Brett and Aleks furrow their eyebrows together and share knowing glances. “Speaking of Lindsey,” Aleks begins, “what happened between you two after you took her home last night?”

“Nothing, I promise.” James sets down his phone and crosses his arms over the table. “I took her home, tucked her in… I slept over but only cause she asked, and I slept on the couch.”

“Is that why you’re wearing the same clothes?” Brett points out.

“Mmhm.” James nods. “Just wanted to make sure she was safe. Uh, nothing else.”

Brett blinks a few times at James before he laughs and shakes his head. “Shut up, you’re leaving something out,” his laughter quiets down into a chuckle.

“Dude, Lindsey kissed you,” Aleks says. “You guys didn’t talk about that at all?”

“Did you and Brett talk to each other at all when you kissed him?” James raises an eyebrow at Aleks, thinking he’s found a good way to shut him up.

“We did, actually,” Brett answers. “The next morning.”

James blinks and sighs as he looks back down to his phone. “Yeah, we talked about it-”

“What did she say, dude?!” Aleks exclaims as he slams his free hand down on the table. 

“That she likes me-”

“And what did you say?!” Brett exclaims. “Please tell me you told her that you like her too, bro, it’s so obvious-”

“I did,” James says. “That’s exactly what I did.”

“Why does it seem like you’re hesitant to talk about this then, dude?” Aleks asks. “James, this is a_ good thing.”_

“Because I miss her a lot and I’d rather be there with her then be here,” James admits quietly as he looks longingly at his phone.

Brett and Aleks look to each other briefly and smile. They squeeze each other’s hands again and Aleks looks down at them while Brett looks over to James. “Trust me, I know that feeling,” Brett says softly. “Even though you’re surrounded by friends and fans, you still wanna be with that one person that makes you feel comfortable above everything else.”

Aleks looks up to Brett and he scans over the entirety of his being. He rolls his lips back and taps his fingers against the table before he slowly averts his gaze to James.

“Yeah,” Aleks says quietly. “Like Brett said.”

“That’s exactly it,” James mumbles. “So yeah, sorry I didn’t mention anything before but it’s super new and I miss her and… yeah.” He shrugs.

Oh. They’re together now. Just like that.

They didn’t wait at all to date each other. One drunk kiss on Lindsey’s end, a quick admission of feelings, and now they’re dating. 

It was that simple.

It’s understandable that Brett is a little bit envious of their situation (_ WOW. WOWIE WOW WOW. THAT MUST BE REALLY NICE) _but he’s envious of all the couples he sees out there, going out on dates with each other and holding hands without a care in the world. They’ll take pictures together and fall asleep in the other’s arms and he wishes he could do that with Aleks, in that context, anyways.

But it’s like Brett keeps telling himself, he knew what he signed up for. Brett can’t complain about a situation he chose to get into.

* * *

They finish lunch and when they head to the actual PAX convention itself, it turns out that they’ve made it just in time. It’s actually a real easy day, considering what they usually have to do at conventions. They’re not even here for a full day - they’ll do a signing, a panel, grab dinner, and then they’ll head to the airport again.

Signings are going as normal as they can. Aleks is sitting next to Brett per usual and under the table sheets, hidden from all eyes, their legs are spread out so their knees can constantly touch. In a room full with people clamoring for Aleks’ attention, Brett has it the most right now, even if Aleks isn’t acknowledging him at the moment.

After Brett comes to a standstill in his arm wrestling contest with a rather strong fan, two pretty girls, a blonde and a brunette, come up with Cow Chop squiggly cups and one of them is holding a printed picture, though Aleks can’t see what it is from the back.

“So uh, I just wanted to say that I’ve been watching you and James since the Creatures and this channel is like, my life source,” the blonde laughs.

“I love them too but Brett’s more my style.” The brunette looks up to Brett with a wink.

Aleks chuckles and takes the cap off his Sharpie to sign the cups. “Well, Brett’s fucking hot so I don’t blame you there,” he says.

Brett’s been in pretty much every video since Cow Chop moved their businesses to LA and it means a lot more people coming to the realization that he’s fucking hot. About time too! Good looks aside, it’s nice to see others becoming a fan of Brett and appreciating him the way Aleks does. In a way, Aleks almost doesn’t feel alone in his feelings for Brett.

Brett chuckles and places the both of his hands on Aleks’ shoulders to gently shake him. “Yeah, Aleks and James are pretty hot too, but especially this one.”

Aleks looks over to Brett with a grin as he hands him the cup to sign and he nudges his knee under the table.

Flirting on camera or in front of fans is easier after they’ve had that talk about it. They can’t do anything about it so they might as well take control of the situation by intentionally stirring the pot. Better to be self aware and referential than to deny it at all. They don’t need anymore fans talking about how defensive Brett is too.

The brunette smiles brightly and bats her eyelashes in an innocent fashion. “Sooooo you and Aleks wouldn’t mind signing this then?”

James and Joe chuckle when they’re confronted with the screencap of Aleks and Brett kissing each other on the 2nd CCTV podcast, Brett’s hands framing Aleks’ face and Aleks’ hands holding tightly onto Brett’s shoulders.

If Aleks wasn’t currently fucking Brett, then he’d absolutely hate this and find it cringey but they are, so he isn’t too heated about it. Now if they directly asked Aleks and Brett if they were dating or anything like that, Aleks would have to put his foot down but they seem nice enough.

Also, he sort of wants to give them a pass because they’re attractive. Nowhere near as attractive as Brett but if Aleks’ head wasn’t so far up Brett’s ass that he thinks the sun shines from it? He might’ve made a move… or maybe not.

Brett told him once about how they should never date fans because of all the complications that could arise from it, and the possible chance of information being leaked. It’s a valid concern, given today’s internet climate, but Aleks thinks that it’s cool as long as they’re not like, a fanfiction writer.

That just hits him in a weird way, the thought of somebody from Cow Chop dating somebody who writes fanfiction about them, but that’s highly unlikely to happen.

Also, Aleks was a bit of a fan of Brett’s too and… well, look where they are now.

Aleks picks up the paper to really get a good look at it and Brett holds the other side to observe it with him.

“Huh.” Aleks blinks. “Is your tongue in my mouth?”

“Uh huh,” Brett replies. “That it is.”

“So I’m guessing that you,” James says as he points to the blonde, “are into me and Aleks, and you,” James points to the brunette, “are into some HundarHD action, huh? Is that what it is”

“I mean…” the brunette shrugs and smiles at her friend. “It might be accurate.”

“Me and James are so last year, dude,” Aleks says as he wraps an arm around Brett’s shoulder, looking at James. “Get with the newest fashion.”

“Everybody likes a lil’ best friend on best friend action!” James argues. “That’ll never go out of style!”

“It’s all about big buff dudes and twinks, dude.” Brett shakes his head at James. “Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“I think James is just jealous that you haven’t kissed him,” Joe says.

“I’ve kissed James before,” Aleks scoffs. “I’ll kiss him again too, come here.”

“I ain’t scared of a lil’ kissing with my friend!” James stands up from his chair to meet Aleks as Aleks stands behind Brett.

Brett swallows and turns in his chair to look at the two men. “Uh, guys, let’s-”

“Plant one on me, James.”

He and James kiss each other in a rather friendly fashion. It’s a big, wet smooch but if it were romantic at all, their lips would’ve lingered, and they pull away almost as quickly as it happens. It’s nothing monumental but with the way everybody is cheering, it might as well be.

Brett certainly sees it as such.

James smiles and pulls away from Aleks to take a bow. “Thank you, thank you-”

But he doesn’t have time to bask in the audience cheers before Brett is standing up from his chair.

“You call that a _kiss?”_ Brett raises his eyebrows at James as he wraps his arms around Aleks’ waist to pull their bodies flush together. “No, dude, you’re doing it all wrong.”

“Brett?” Aleks looks to Brett’s lips. “What’s happening-”

“James, you gotta kiss him like this.”

“Kiss me like what? What-”

Brett suddenly turns Aleks and dips him low to kiss him in a rather romantic fashion and Aleks’ hands shoot up high, one grasping his shoulder while his other arm wraps around his neck so he doesn’t fall but with the way Brett is holding onto him, like Aleks is a masterpiece that needs to be protected, Aleks doubts that would happen either way.

He smiles against Brett’s lips and tilts his head, Brett tilts his the other way, and they press deeper with their mouths. There’s a thought in the back of Aleks’ mind to give Brett a little tongue and… actually, that’s just what he does. If Brett can do that on the podcast, Aleks should be able to do it right now and get back at him!

He slips his tongue inside Brett’s mouth and Brett opens his mouth wider to accommodate him. Aleks’ tongue doesn’t explore for long, given where they’re at, and when he slides his tongue out, Brett hoists him back up onto his feet and pulls away to send Aleks a wink and a smile.

Aleks presses his fingers to his lips and looks to the wide eyed girls in front, then over to James. With a shrug, he says, “sorry, James. Brett just beat you.”

James holds up his hands in surrender. “Brett’s all yours, man,” he says. “Hope you two are happy together.”

_ I hope so too. _

Brett gives James a thumbs up before he gives his attention to Aleks. He puts his hands around Aleks’ ear to lowly whisper, “had to remind everybody who you belong to”, before he sits back down in his chair. “Okay!” Brett cheers in his usual, happy tone of voice as he claps his hands together. “Lemme sign this picture and you lovely ladies can go on your way!”

Aleks swallows and rubs the back of his neck as he looks to his side to see fans quickly texting away and showing their phones to other fans. Aleks obviously can’t see through the back of their phones to the screen itself but he has a good idea of what they’re texting about.

He raises his eyebrows when he hears his name from the blonde’s mouth from afar, the blonde that James had correctly pegged for a NovaHD shipper.

“Aleks and Brett, uh…” She laughs. “Alright, I definitely get it now. That was hot.”

It’s interesting to witness the real time progression of the shifting community opinion on him and Brett but he doesn’t have time to think about it. The next fan is already up in line with his things for everyone to sign.

“Seems like you and Brett have done that a lot with each other,” the fan chuckles.

Brett and Aleks look to each other and raise their eyebrows in brief acknowledgement before they pick up their markers.

_ You don’t even know the half of it. _

* * *

Apart from their impromptu makeout session, the rest of PAX isn’t too notable. The fans at their panel were well behaved and didn’t ask cringey questions, much to everybody’s surprise. Bruce and Adam from Funhaus had a lot of alcohol with them, for whatever reason, and somewhat acted as the Cow Chop bartenders but after they made Aleks chug whiskey, Brett had to cut them off.

From Aleks.

Or he had to cut Bruce off from Aleks, anyways.

Why? He uh… doesn’t have a good reason why. Brett saw Bruce trying to get Aleks to chug more whiskey, grabbing his shoulders and cheering him on, and his eyes turned red, warning sirens went off in his head, and he felt this strange urge to put an end to it.

Everybody else was fair game for Bruce to defile and they’re sort of paying for it now but thankfully, they’re currently on the plane back home so they have a bit of time to nap it off. Better yet, Delta (where life is a fuuucking nightmaaare~) didn’t overbook this flight and everybody kept their original seats. It means Brett and Aleks can sit next to each other.

Brett aims the camera towards Joe and James, sitting right across, and nods his head when they acknowledge the camera. “How was PAX, guys?”

“S’alright.” James shrugs. “Better than I thought.”

“Everybody was pretty chill,” Joe tells him.

“Good, good, glad to hear it.” Brett leans back to aim the camera at Aleks, whose head is leaning back against the seat. “How are you feeling, bud?”

“Dying,” Aleks mumbles. “I’m tired.”

“Awww,” Brett chuckles and brings his free hand to rest on Aleks’ shoulder. “We just have to drive back to the office to get in our cars and then we’ll be home. Hang in there.”

Aleks yawns and reaches into his pocket to take out his phone. Brett aims the camera down at the phone but when he sees Aleks heading into his Camera Roll, he immediately shuts the camera off because he’d rather not have their Patreon viewers get a glimpse of their selfie from this morning. Brett can’t give that much unfiltered access.

“I’m right here, you know,” Brett points out with a smile. “You don’t gotta look at that to calm down.”

“I know,” Aleks says. “I just like looking at it.”

“Lemme look at it again.”

Aleks shifts in his seat to hold up his phone for the both of them to see as he rests his head on top Brett’s shoulder. Brett takes the phone from Aleks’ hand to make it easier on his tired form and his smile grows when Aleks wraps the both of his arms around one of his, just like in the picture.

“We’re cute,” Brett mumbles.

_ We’d be cuter if we dated. _

Aleks smiles and looks up to Brett. “You think so?”

“Mmhm.” Brett nods. “We really are.”

“What are you guys looking at?”

Brett and Aleks raise their eyebrows and look over to Joe, who’s squinting his eyes and trying to lean over to get a look at Aleks’ phone.

“It’s nothing.” Brett shakes his head. “Just uh, a picture Khail sent us.”

Joe finds that answer acceptable. With a shrug, he puts his earphones back in his ears. James has his earphones in too and he’s looking out the window - he has no idea what Brett and Aleks are doing at all.

Aleks clears his throat and lets go of Brett’s arm. “Sorry-”

“What are you apologizing for?” Brett asks.

“Uh, I was kinda… handsy today, I guess.” Aleks rubs the back of his neck and takes his phone with the other hand. “Holding your hand at lunch and right now-”

“Wasn’t I the one that made out with you at the signings?”

It wasn’t supposed to happen and when Aleks and James kissed, Brett didn’t even think he was gonna kiss him but he just kinda… did.

It all happened so fast. It’s like some interstellar force took him over and made Brett insert himself into that whole mess to remind everybody at that convention who exactly Aleks belongs too. The way he felt when he saw Aleks and James kiss is the same way he felt when Bruce was hyping Aleks up at their panel - he just wanted it to stop.

He knows Aleks and James don’t like each other. They’re best friends and that’s super cool. James is dating Lindsey, apparently, and that’s even cooler. Brett wouldn’t say he’s jealous at all. He just doesn’t wanna see other people kissing Aleks because what the hell is the point when he kisses Aleks so much better than the rest?

Sliding the phone back in his pocket, Aleks says, “you did make out with me, and that was awesome, but you were just memeing-”

“Didn’t I say I had to remind everybody who you belong too?” Brett raises his eyebrow. “And if I really minded you being handsy, do you think I would’ve squeezed your hand back? Don’t you think I’d say something against it?”

Aleks bites at his bottom lip and shrugs. “I don’t know,” he admits.

“Well I would have,” Brett assures. “Trust me, you would know right off the bat if I minded,” he chuckles and wraps his arm around Aleks so he can coax Aleks’ head back onto his shoulder. “Relax, dude. Be as handsy as you want.”

_ Be as romantic as you want, too! Ask me out if you want!! _

Aleks sighs through his nose and looks out Brett’s window. “You promise that it’s fine?”

Brett looks over to Joe and James, off in their world of music. He looks far ahead to see the flight attendants up front and chances are, everybody else on the plane is taking a nap or listening to music as well. He and Aleks are strangers that nobody knows and acknowledges and thus, they can be in their own world with each other.

He closes his eyes and leaves a lingering kiss to Aleks’ forehead. As he scratches at the top of Aleks’ scalp, he whispers, “I promise. Everything is fine, angel.”

Aleks’ eyes fall shut and he relaxes completely in his seat. Brett pulls himself away to see that Aleks is steadily falling asleep and then he looks out his window and down at the cities above.

The cities light up like fireflies and they look so small, like ants, compared to the actual behemoths they really are and they’re beautiful from far away. They’re sort of like paintings, but there’s one painting that far surpasses these metropolitan sights, and he’s asleep right next to Brett.

* * *

Aleks wavers in between periods of being awake and sleeping when they step off the plane but by the time Brett finally comes back home with him, he’s checked out.

“Alright, let’s finally head in and… Aleks?”

Aleks says nothing.

“Couldn’t wait until we get inside, huh? Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Brett shakes his head and gets out of his side so he can go to Aleks’. “That’s cool, I’ll just carry you on my back like I carry this company… kidding!” Brett laughs and undoes Aleks’ seatbelt. “I’m so funny. I wish you were awake to hear that. I really think you would’ve laughed.”

He slips an arm under the back of Aleks’ knees and wraps the other around his back to comfortably carry Aleks out of the car. Brett bumps the door closed and makes his way to the door and he has to set Aleks down briefly to open it but then Aleks is back in his arms again as Brett makes it inside with his dormant body.

Brett begins the trek up the stairs and smiles when he sees Celia, Aleks’ cat, sitting at the foot of it. Celia meows to the two of them before she walks away to make room for Brett to make it to her owner’s bedroom.

“Hey, Celia,” Brett says in a tone above a whisper. “You miss us?”

Celia meows and Brett isn’t sure what she’s saying, but if he could speak cat, it’d probably be something like,_ yeah, I guess so. _

“Is Aleks’ door open?” he asks Celia, like Celia will be able to tell him. She can’t tell him but she does push the cracked open door to walk inside and Brett follows her in.

With careful hands, Brett lays Aleks down on his bed and he climbs on top in between his legs. Brett takes off Aleks’ shoes and tosses them aside before he undoes Aleks’ jeans. He slowly pulls them down so his boxers don’t come off with them and then he discards them on top of the shoes.

Brett looks up to Aleks to gauge his status and he smiles when he sees Aleks squinting his eyes open. “Hey,” he whispers.

“I’m tired, Brett,” Aleks murmurs.

“I know,” Brett says. “Go to sleep, okay?”

Aleks gives a nod, just barely, as he scoots back to the headboard. He sinks underneath the covers, turns his back to Brett, and he’s out like a light as soon as his head head drops onto the pillow.

Brett knows he should leave now but he wants to make sure Aleks is totally comfortable… also, Aleks is pretty adorable when he’s sleeping. Maybe it’s creepy, but it’s not like Brett does it for hours on end.

He sits on his knees behind Aleks’ back and threads his fingers through his blonde strands so he can run them back and forth. Brett does this for a few minutes as he watches Aleks, observes the steady rise and fall of his chest in his peaceful sleep. He does actually wish he could do this for hours on end but he won’t overstay his welcome.

If Brett were more to Aleks, he could get away with it.

But he isn’t, so he can’t.

Brett leans down to kiss Aleks’ temple and he can’t see it, but Aleks gives the faintest of smiles. “Good night, Aleks,” Brett whispers against his ear. “Sleep tight.”

He climbs off the bed and makes his way to Aleks’ door but stops at the light switch. Placing a finger on the switch, he looks back to Aleks one more time.

Aleks is a stark white canvas that God took all the time in the world with. There are brushstrokes of platinum blonde and in other places, there are splatterings of all sorts of alluring colors. These colors come together in lovely designs - some have a story to them, some don’t, but nobody else can ever copy such a one of a kind beauty.

Aleks is beautiful, far more beautiful than the deepest oceans and highest mountains. Everytime Brett takes a look at Aleks, he wonders why God, if he’s real, decided to bless him, out of the millions and millions, with Aleks’ presence. The day he dies, most likely by Aleks’ hands because he would do _anything_ for that boy, that _angel,_ it’ll be one of the questions he asks.

Brett’s tongue pokes around his cheek and he looks down to the ground as he turns off the light. He leaves Aleks’ room to close the door and returns to his bedroom, all alone.

The first question he’ll ask God, by the way, that isn’t, _ how are you fucking real? _

_ Why didn’t Aleks ever like me the way I like him? _


	12. Haze In The Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks does the smart thing by communicating with Brett what more he wants out of their arrangement, and the results are much better than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is late! I was incredibly busy yesterday, and also dealing with some personal things, and couldn't find a window of time to get to uploading the chapter.

**September 3rd, 2017**

Aleks continues to finger himself while he looks out the blinds to Brett’s window. The sunlight bleeds through and aids in lighting Brett’s bedroom, along with the television. Rushing water can be heard from the adjacent bathroom and Aleks is waiting for that to diminish into faint dripping.

It’s been a few days since Brett has fucked him. If he wasn’t so tired from PAX activities yesterday, he would’ve been so down to do shit but he kinda just fell asleep and when he woke up to realize they didn’t do anything, didn’t have sex, didn’t cuddle, _nothing,_ Aleks felt kinda bad.

He doesn’t feel obligated to do this. No, he genuinely wants Brett to fill him up again… but he was also really enjoying the freedom to do whatever else he wanted with Brett.

His birthday was the most fun he’s had with Brett since they’ve became friends and it’s not because of Brett submitting to him later in the night, though that was fun (_extremely_ fun), but because of all the sentimentals - which continued into PAX.

He and Brett held hands. They stole kisses. They called each other pet names with no expectations of sex, almost like they were a couple. Obviously they’re not but they’ve felt like one for the past few days and Aleks wants that to last. He knows it won’t but he’ll do what he can to milk this grace period anyways.

… right after Brett fucks him again. Aleks still has primal needs.

The water shuts off and Aleks takes his fingers out with a grin. He did a good job opening himself up - all there is left is for Brett to lube himself up and slide right in. Hell, maybe he doesn’t have to lube himself up! Er, actually, he should… fucking without lube is killer in all sorts of ways but one of those ways is because it’s literally an ass killer.

When Aleks hears the bathroom door opening, he scoots to the side of the bed and rests himself right on his knees. His fingers claw against the comforter in anticipation for Brett’s wet body and the hype is well worth it when Brett stands out among the bright lights of the bathroom with only a towel hung low on his waist.

Brett’s eyes widen and he brings his hands up to rub at them. He blinks them open a few times and a smirk adorns his face when he realizes what’s actually in front of him.

Aleks runs his teeth along his bottom lip as he peers into Brett’s eyes from afar and he beckons him over with a finger.

Holding his towel with both hands, Brett saunters over to the bed and Aleks’ hands are quick to reach forward and undo the towel from his waist so it can drop to the ground. Once that offending article is removed, he immediately wraps his fingers around Brett’s soft length to jerk him off. He openly licks along his lips and then he surges forward to steal a quick peck to Brett’s lips, groaning his approval afterwards.

“Mmm, good morning to you too,” Brett hums and closes his eyes. “Should’ve showered with me.”

Raising his eyebrows with a grin, Aleks asks, “I got permission to just shower with you whenever I want now?”

“Especially if you’re horny.”

Aleks chuckles lowly and brings up his other hand to hold onto the nape of Brett’s neck while he presses their foreheads together. “It’s been a few days so yeah, I’m pretty horny,” Aleks admits quietly. “I’m definitely ready for _ this guy _ again.”

“This guy, huh? Wanna elaborate?”

“Ready for your cock,” Aleks breathes.

Brett rolls his lips back with a moan and thrusts his hips into Aleks’ hand. “Faster,” he breathes back. “By the way… what is with you and trying to have sex with me before I go to the gym?” he chuckles.

“Not gonna try to convince yourself not to fuck me again, are you?” Aleks asks as he jerks his hand quicker - what Brett wants, Brett gets.

“I’m a lot smarter now than I was before,” Brett assures. “I’ll never do that again. I’m just saying, it’s kind of a trend with you.”

“Maybe you should stop going to the gym when I’m desperate for you to fuck me.” Aleks raises an accusatory eyebrow at him before he looks down between their bodies to gauge Brett’s hardness - looks good enough.

Brett seems to agree that he’s hard enough too because he groans and demands, “lay back and spread your legs, lemme get a look at that hole.”

“Ooh,” Aleks purrs and lets go of Brett’s cock. “Nice to know I’m not the only desperate one,” he says as he backs up on the bed, reclines himself all the way back. His legs spread and he bends them back a little, his hands moving down to lightly spread his ass apart, enough to show off his hole like Brett wants.

Brett kneels down and yanks Aleks forward by his hips but when he sees his entrance up close, he furrows his eyebrows together. “You finger yourself before I came in here?”

“Uh, duh?” Aleks scoffs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “We can just go right at it.”

Brett nods his approval and shrugs before he stands back up. “Works for me.”

Aleks lets go of his ass and rests his hands by the sides of his head, waiting for Brett to find the lube and get himself ready. He looks behind him through the window blinds and then at Brett’s television. The weatherman is currently going over the forecast for today and there’s a sliding header at the bottom that showcases a bunch of boring news stories. It’s no surprise that Aleks’ eyes drift over to what’s sitting up beside Brett’s television.

_ Aleks laughs as he picks up a snowglobe and he holds it up in Brett’s vision. “Yo, why the fuck do they have this in the summertime?” he asks as he twists and turns it. _

_ “Well we definitely know why it’s on clearance,” Brett chuckles. “It’s kinda cute though.” _

_ In the small snowglobe are two snowmen, holding hands with big smiles. In front of them, is charcoal laid out in the shape of a heart and when Aleks shakes the globe, the snow encases them in a flurry. _

_ “You know what, it is pretty cute.” Aleks smiles and turns the snowglobe so he can admire it from the front. “I miss the snow too.” _

_ “Made a big mistake moving down to LA then.” _

It’d be nice to take a trip back down to Colorado one day, maybe during winter. Whether it’s by himself or with friends, Aleks is a sucker for the snow. Looks like Brett is too if he actually held onto this.

Aleks thinks it’d be nicer to go with Brett to Colorado one day but that’s like, almost a romantic getaway at that point. They’re not and never will reach that point with each other.

He raises his eyebrows when he hears a car horn outside and looks back out the blinds but apart from that, it’s mostly quiet. The faint sounds of cars driving through the street can be heard along with the chirping of the birds and that’s when Aleks realizes that they’re just like everybody else.

They’re out here living normal lives with each other. Other people probably start the day the way they are right now and what they’re doing isn’t too special. In the massive population on earth, he and Brett are a statistic that don’t even put a blip on the radar and Aleks thinks that’s _so weird_ because Brett makes his radar go off all the time. Hell, Brett is what his radar was made for.

Brett is the background character in everybody else’s story. He’s not significant to a good amount of people on this earth, a fact that’s true among the entire population, but to Aleks? He’s the main character and love interest.

“You ready?” Brett asks as he looks up to Aleks while he steadies himself to line up with his entrance.

Aleks raises his eyebrows upon Brett’s voice. It takes a few moments to register the question but he nods when he does and then he rests his head back on the bed again. “Mmhm.” He looks to Brett with a grin and waggles his eyebrows. “Breed my greedy hole, daddy.”

“Ew, dude.” Brett grimaces and shakes his head. “Last word? Awesome. Everything else? Never ever put those words in any sort of sentence with each other ever again.”

Aleks chuckles and looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Okay, lemme try something else-”

“Oh no…”

“Pump me with your monolithic man column of massive pleasure, hot stuff.”

Brett closes his eyes and chuckles but the chuckle evolves into a hearty laugh. “Okay… okay, I like the alliteration but no.” He shakes his head and looks back down to Aleks. “One more chance.” Brett raises a curious eyebrow. “What else do you got for me?”

Aleks licks along his lips, debating whether to go for something funny or something that he knows would drive Brett crazy… but he decides to let Brett be the judge of that.

He clears his throat and after giving a moan, he says, in a low tone, “трахни меня, папочка.”

Brett blinks a few times and tilts his head. “Uh? Is that like… some meme in Russian?” he chuckles. “It’s gotta be.”

“Is it?” Aleks asks.

“... is it _not_ a meme in Russian?” Brett narrows his eyes. “What does it mean? Tell me.”

“Really wanna know?”

“Aleeeks,” Brett whines. “Yes!”

Aleks hums and in a rather casual tone, he tells Brett that “it’s how you say _ ‘fuck me, daddy,’ _ in Russian.”

A hot breath parts open Brett’s lips and he gently bites down on them. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, grabs ahold of himself again to easily push into Aleks and as he wraps his arms around Aleks’ thighs, he breathes out, “god, I fucking hate you.”

Aleks tries to laugh but Brett’s dick kind of takes away his means to do so and a long mewl replaces it instead. After a few days without being filled, Brett sliding in all the way to the hilt is immensely satisfying and the obscene noises Aleks makes whenever it happens is completely genuine.

After he relaxes around Brett, he groans out, “if you really hate me, then you better fuck me like you hate me.”

“You sure you can handle that?”

“Are _you_ sure you can handle that?”

Brett looks down to Aleks and raises his eyebrows before his eyes move upwards to his hands. “Wrap your arms around my neck real quick.”

“Why-”

“Don’t ask questions, just do it.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and does what Brett says but it becomes evident why Brett asked him to do that when Brett suddenly lifts Aleks from the bed, still inside him, to bring him over to the nearest wall.

_ I don’t know if I can handle this. _

But miraculously, he’s able to tightly hold onto Brett while Brett fucks him just the way he likes, how one would theoretically fuck somebody they hate - fast and hard with no regards for their well being. After a few days without Brett, it’s just the thing Aleks needs and maybe his ass will be sore but not to the point where he’ll have to go without him for a few days _again._

Maybe it’s because of how often he and Brett have been fucking each other but he doesn’t feel like they need to change positions this time either. Aleks’ legs are still growing tired but he thinks he’s actually able to hold on until the very end! It’s great for the obvious reason - it means getting fucked in this hot position for longer, but it’s also great because he and Brett are so close and he feels so safe when Brett holds onto him and he’s brought back to the thoughts he had before Brett left the shower.

The sentimental thoughts.

How great it was to be with Brett with no expectations of sex.

So perhaps it’s not the best time to bring it up when he and Brett are in the middle of balls slapping sex, but the first few words escape Aleks’ mouth and he sort of has to continue his thought after that.

“I’ve been…” Aleks closes his eyes and rests his head back against the wall with a moan. “Fuck, slow down.”

It’s not something Brett is told a lot so it surprises him at first but he slows down like Aleks asks and then he proceeds to look all over his face. “Something on your mind? Too fast? Too hard?”

“Never, dude,” Aleks chuckles. “I’m just… I’ve been thinking.” He opens his eyes again to look into Brett’s. “I really liked going to Universal with you, just me and you. I wanna do more stuff like that, just the two of us.”

Brett just stares at Aleks for a few moments and Aleks thinks he’s said something wrong, that he’s breached the boundary in their arrangement. It doesn’t help matters either when Brett just wraps his arms around his waist to bring them over to the bed because he continues to be silent and Aleks just wants him to say _something,_ tell him that he feels the same way or that he’s weird instead of this guessing game.

At the very least, they’re switching positions and Aleks didn’t even have to ask. It’s kind of thoughtful.

Brett kneels up on the bed and then lays himself on his back, moves his hands down to grab Aleks’ hips. “So more dates is what you’re saying?” he clarifies with a smile that puts Aleks at immediate ease. “Want you to fuck yourself, by the way.”

With a grin, Aleks steadies his hands on Brett’s chest so he can roll himself up and down on his length at a pace most comfortable for him. He looks up to Brett and says, “if _you_ wanna call it that, then yeah, I wanna go on more dates with you.”

“We should do it then. I mean, especially if they end like this…” Brett’s gaze dips down to their joined bodies and he moans at the sight. “Fuck, you ride it so good,” he breathes out.

Honestly, Aleks doesn’t care if their dates end like this. That’s sort of the point on why he likes those dates in the first place. There’re no expectations, just two people who like each other (in a perfect world), enjoying the other’s company with nothing more in return. He can’t let Brett know he wants that though, then Brett would know he _likes_ him and Aleks kind of risked that already by being so handy at PAX and he’s lucky that Brett likes it but that doesn’t mean Brett likes him, Brett would _never_ like him!

So when in doubt? Meme your ass off.

Aleks scoffs. “So I have to put out at the end of it all? What if I just wanna chill with my best friend, huh?”

“And that’s perfectly fine too,” Brett tells him as his hands roam up the length of Aleks’ body to frame his face in his hands. “Come down here,” he says in a tone above a whisper, and Aleks complies.

His hips slow down to a stop but Brett doesn’t seem to mind. Brett seals their lips together and Aleks moans with relief into his mouth as his arms wrap around Brett’s neck.

It’s not an obscene kiss or anything like that and there’s no tongue, no biting, but two lips lovingly caressing each other, just like the way Brett’s thumbs caress his cheeks back and forth and make Aleks feel safe. Aleks doesn’t want Brett to pull away. He knows Brett has to so he can continue to tell Aleks what’s on his mind, and Aleks wants to know, but he loves being safe too, like nothing can hurt him, not even his own self sabotaging thoughts.

Brett pulls away and brings a hand to the back of Aleks’ head so he can press their foreheads together and he whispers against Aleks’ lips quite a few words that Aleks will remember for a lifetime; “I don’t care if we fuck or not. If I’m spending time with you, that’s all I care about.”

Brett’s lips aren’t the only thing of Brett’s that holds the power to make Aleks feel safe. It’s his words too. He knows just what to say to alleviate Aleks of all of his anxieties and nagging thoughts. Brett’s the source of most of these anxieties but he is also the perfect answer to them. His words coax Aleks into that theoretical, all technicolor world and when he says stuff like _ “spending time with you is all I care about” _ or _ “be as handsy as you want” _ or _ “you belong to me”, _ those self sabotaging thoughts of Aleks’ cease to be.

They only cease for a few seconds but in Aleks’ mind, those seconds last entire lifetimes.

* * *

**September 5th, 2017**

It’s around 9 in the morning and Brett and Aleks are out to breakfast for their _second date_ with each other.

Aleks still isn’t a morning person, even after living with Brett for some months, so the fact that he’s even going out this early with Brett for their _second date_ should mean something. It’s not romantic like Brett wants but they’re still calling it a _second date_ and that holds a lot more meaning than if he and Aleks were to just say they’re going out to breakfast.

“Here are the coffees, guys!” the waitress cheers as she sets them down on the table. “We ready to order?”

Brett’s never been here before but after a quick look at the menu, he’s really rearing to try those pumpkin buckwheat pancakes! So he begins to speak up to tell her exactly that but...

“He’s gonna have the pumpkin buckwheat pancakes,” Aleks cuts in. “And I’m gonna have that Amara burrito.”

The waitress raises her eyebrows and looks over to Brett, making sure that’s alright with him and while Brett wasn’t expecting Aleks to just take over like that, it’s… accurate. What’s he gonna do, establish his dominance over Aleks? They might be dom and sub in between the sheets but on the streets, they’re equals.

Brett gives the waitress a thumbs up and Aleks takes Brett’s menu to place it on top of his before he hands them to the waitress with a “thank you”. Aleks proceeds to take a slow sip of his coffee and looks off to the wall like he wasn’t trying to assert the dominance he rarely has.

“What was that all about?” Brett chuckles.

“You always take charge when we go out to eat so I wanted to do it.” Aleks looks over to Brett. “Don’t think I got your order right?”

Brett smiles and looks down into his mug as the heat rises to his cheeks. “It was… exactly what I wanted,” he admits quietly. “Just wasn’t expecting it but trust me, I like it when you take charge.” He looks back up at Aleks with a wink and then taps at Aleks’ foot under the table.

Aleks smiles sweetly at Brett, his eyes squinting together as he taps Brett’s foot in return and then he looks down to check the notifications on his phone.

It allows Brett to stare at Aleks and fully drink in his beauty like he loves to do. Aleks is wearing Brett’s black Warface shirt and a black beanie with black jogger sweatpants - all black, all beautiful. It’s a heavy contrast to the white minimalistic atmosphere of the restaurant and he stands out but then, he always stands out among everything else. Even in a huge crowd, Brett can point out Aleks with ease.

A man as breathtaking as Aleks is can’t help but command every single modicum of Brett’s attention. Any imperfections that others point out cease to exist in Brett’s eyes. The shirt might not fit Aleks, the sleeves are a little big and it hangs off him just a little but Aleks’ whole look right now is effortless and effortless beauty, Brett thinks, is the strongest beauty of them all.

Brett breathes in deeply and his shoulders relax on the exhale. He rolls his lips back and crosses his arms over the table, leans over and taps Aleks’ foot again. “Hey,” he says to get Aleks’ attention.

Aleks raises his eyebrows and looks up to Brett, then looks over his torso with a small smile before their eyes lock on again. “Hey, Brettzle Stick,” he replies.

_ I love when he calls me that. _

Brett huffs a fond breath through his nose. “Don’t kill me for what I’m about to tell you, but you look…_ so fucking cute _ right now,” he chuckles.

Aleks crosses his arms on top the table and bumps them against Brett’s. “As opposed to every other day?”

“Oh, you always look very cute,” Brett tells him. “But especially when you wear my shirts. And sidenote?” Brett leans back in his chair and crosses a leg on top the other. “You should wear all black more often.”

“I really should, actually.” Aleks sits up in his seat and adjusts the hem of his shirt. “Black makes you skinny and I’ve sort of been gaining weight.”

“Must be all those come loads I’ve been putting in you,” Brett replies casually as he picks up his mug from the table. “I got a pretty heavy-”

“Yo, I’m serious!” Aleks’ voice raises the tiniest bit. “It’s not a lot, but like, I’m definitely not as skinny as when I first came to LA.”

“What?” Brett laughs in disbelief and furrows his eyebrows, sets his mug back down. “We’ve been over this and you don’t look any fucking different, dude.”

“Yes, I do!”

“No, you don’t.”

“Brett-”

“Aleks-”

_ “Brett-” _

“You’re not gaining weight!” Brett laughs. “Or at least it isn’t noticeable, if that’s the case, but I don’t think it is.”

Brett thinks he himself is gaining weight but he attributes that to muscle gain. His working out, admittedly, has faltered some since Aleks came to LA but he thinks he’s making up for it now with all the sex they have. It doesn’t fully replace the gym but it sure is a lot more fun!

Anyways, Aleks is fine and Brett doesn’t think he has anything to worry about. If Aleks is incredibly concerned, he’d ask to go to the gym with Brett. The boy probably just wants some reassurance and Brett is happy to dole it out. Aleks might not show it but he somewhat cares what people think about him. Brett used to care too at one point but you get older like him and other issues besides your apparently abrasive personality deserve your attention.

Like the issue of crushing on your fuckbuddy, who also doubles as your best friend. Brett wonders how old he’ll have to be to find the answer to that.

“You don’t think I’m putting on any weight at all?” Aleks looks up to Brett. “Promise?”

Brett looks around the restaurant and after confirming that nobody is paying attention, he looks back to Aleks and sends him a reassuring smile. “I promise, angel,” he answers. He scoots forward in his chair and uncrosses his leg, rests his hand on top of the table with his palm facing up and twiddles his fingers.

_ Please don’t leave me hanging. _

Aleks looks down to Brett’s hand, eyes trailing over the various lines of his palm. One of his hands rest on top of the table and slowly move across before it suddenly rests on top of Brett’s hand so he can curl their fingers together with a smile. “I told you it before but I like it when you call me that,” he says softly.

“I know,” Brett says. “I like calling you that too.”

_ You’re exactly what an angel should be. _

“It just makes me feel like I’m doing something right,” Aleks explains. “And I like doing right in your eyes, doing _ good _in your eyes, you know? I just… just wanna know I’m doing a good job.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck with his other hand.

There it is, that admission that he cares what somebody thinks, what _ Brett _ thinks, but Brett thinks the sun rises from Aleks’ ass every morning. His bias is huge but he doubts he’s the only person that thinks Aleks is doing a good job, with… whatever it is. His job, his friendships, navigating life, etc.

Aleks isn’t alone in wanting to know he’s doing a good job either.

“You’re doing a wonderful job,” Brett tells him. “You wanna know something? I always wonder if I’m doing a good job in your eyes.”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and looks back to Brett. “You do?”

“Oh yeah,” Brett chuckles. “Remember what you told me? After you dumped Geoff?”

_ “Um, so…” Aleks swallows. “I-I care a lot about what you say. Like, I don’t care a big amount about most other people but with you, like, I want your approval. So when you say something and it doesn’t match up with what’s in my head, like, I wonder what I’m doing wrong.” _

Aleks nods and Brett squeezes his hand. “I don’t care much about most other people but I want your approval,” Brett admits. “I care a lot about what you say and I wanna keep being that person for you to look up to. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I want you to be proud of me and what I do, what I _ want _ to do.”

He wants to be a person that Aleks isn’t ashamed to look up to. He wants Aleks to look at him and think, _ “I wouldn’t mind being like him one day.” _ Everybody else can say he’s too dramatic or sensitive, that he’s too passive aggressive, and Brett will brush that off with a snippy comment but if Aleks were to say something along those lines, say it with vitriol, it’d really fuck him up.

Aleks looks around them at the other tables. The few other people in this cafe are having their own conversations with each other - he and Brett are unimportant strangers to them. He looks back to Brett and sits up enough in his seat to lean over and catch him off guard with a peck to the lips before he sits back down.

Brett blinks up to Aleks, watches Aleks open his mouth but Aleks closes it when their server comes back with their food.

“Here you guys are!” she chimes. “Can I get you two anything else?”

“Uh, we’re good,” Aleks replies. “Actually, I can take the check. I think this’ll be all we’re getting, is it?” He looks up to Brett and raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Brett nods. “Yeah, this is all, thank you.”

With a nod, the waitress leaves to do just that and once she’s out of their vicinity, Aleks sets out to tell Brett what he was gonna say in the first place.

“I’ll always be proud of you,” Aleks says. “And you do so fucking much, dude, you really do. You work your fucking ass off and you care so much about the channel, about our friends, about _ me, _and…” He huffs a fond breath through his nose and squeezes Brett’s hand again. “Brett, not to be sappy or anything, but you’re sort of an angel. Maybe that name should be transferred to you.”

“You’re the angel for putting up with me,” Brett says quietly with a smile, his foot moving to rest right on top of Aleks’.

Aleks rolls his eyes with a smile of his own and moves his foot to rest over Brett’s in acknowledgement. “If putting up with you means more dates and more time with you, than that sounds pretty alright to me.”

Sometimes, Brett thinks he put Aleks under a spell. He doesn’t know magic or any sort of witchcraft at all but he must have some ability without even knowing because how else can he explain Aleks being so willing to be with him? Brett doesn’t think he’s anything special, most people don’t, but Aleks is determined to go on all of these dates with him.

Aleks doesn’t mind waking up in the morning to go out to breakfast with Brett. Aleks doesn’t mind holding his hand at Universal, re-enacting all of the cliche romance movie shit he sees. Aleks also doesn’t mind not having sex with Brett to do these things instead, just like Brett doesn’t mind but that’s because he _ likes _ Aleks.

Brett doesn’t know what it means. All he knows is that he likes it - a whole lot.

And he wants to continue having these dates with Aleks.

“Well, _ Aleksandr, _ where should our next date be then?” Brett asks.

Aleks smirks. “Well,_ angel, _ I wouldn’t mind…”

* * *

**September 7th, 2017**

Their_ third date _takes place at the Santa Monica beach.

It almost didn’t happen. Why? Because it’s Asher’s fault.

_ Aleks pokes his head up when he hears Brett arguing with Asher and he furrows his eyebrows together. He slowly gets up from the chair and pushes it in before he makes his way over. _

_ Asher sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I will get it done,” he says quietly. “I’ve just been under some stress-” _

_ “Ah, your go to excuse. Listen, man, deadlines are stressful but you know what else is stressful? Not uploading a video because our editor forgot to do it and having to listen to a bunch of fans ask where the hell it is.” _

_ “What’s happening now?” Aleks asks. _

_ “Asher, tell Aleks what’s happening now!” _

_ Asher looks up to the ceiling and rolls his lips back before he looks down to Aleks, almost pleadingly. “I had a video I was supposed to finish editing yesterday but I didn’t, and I was working on it today but I wanted to blow off some steam on the hoverboard-” _

_ “But really, you were just distracting yourself from the task at hand,” Brett points out. “Distracting everybody else while you’re at it too.” _

_ “I told you, I’m stressed,” Asher repeats as he glowers over at Brett. “And I’m sorry I missed the deadline yesterday but I’ll have it done by today.” _

_ Aleks purses his lips and with a nod, he pats Asher’s shoulder. “Sounds good. But seriously, dude, have that done by today - then you can do whatever the hell you want.” _

_ “Sorry, Aleks.” _

_ “It’s cool, just get it done.” Aleks raises his eyebrows at Brett and walks over to wrap an arm around his shoulder. “Brett, can we talk?” _

_ “About…?” _

_ “In private.” _

_ Aleks leads a slightly confused Brett back to his office and as he goes to lock the doors behind him, Brett leans back against his desk. _

_ “What’s up?” Brett asks. “Not changing date plans on me, are you?” he chuckles. _

_ “I won’t have to if you apologize to Asher,” Aleks tells him. _

_ Brett blinks a few times and narrows his eyes. “Excuse me? Why should I do that?” _

_ “Dude, I get where you’re coming from, but you’re always so hard on him.” _

_ Brett scoffs and shakes his head. “I am not-” _

_ “Yes,” Aleks nods, “you are. You can be a bit more calm about it.” _

_ “I’m the boss, Aleks, I gotta establish authority-” _

_ “Annnd you can do that without making him feel stupid.” _

_ Brett laughs and leans back off his desk so he can go sit down. “I can’t make him feel stupid if he _ ** _ is_ ** _ stupid.” _

_ Aleks’ eyes widen and he holds out his hands towards Brett. “Dude, you see what I mean?” _

_ “I guess. But I’m still right.” _

_ “Well, we’re not gonna go to the beach today unless you admit to being hard on Asher, or you apologize for being aggressive towards him. You _ ** _are _ ** _ hard on him.” _

_ “Yeah, okay,” Brett chuckles. _

_ “1…” _

_ “Ooh, a countdown,” Brett mocks in a haunting tone while twiddling his fingers. “That’s sooo scary.” _

_ Aleks raises a pointed eyebrow and backs up towards the door. “2…” _

_ Brett swallows and rolls his lips back. He gives Aleks a passing glance before he slowly looks to his screen. “I’m… I’m not hard on Asher.” _

_Right before Aleks says "3", _ _ Brett is moving at light speed from his chair and out of the office to make a beeline towards a rather anxious looking Asher. Aleks smiles on at Brett and pats himself on the back for a job well done. _

Does Brett think he’s hard on Asher at all? Maybe so, but Asher needs a kick in the ass now and then to do his job. In this industry, stress is to be expected and Brett gets it. This job can be demanding but he doesn’t think that’s an excuse not to do work.

It doesn’t matter what he thinks though. If Aleks says he’s hard on Asher, then Brett will go up to Asher and wax a beautifully poetic apology that would make Shakespeare tear up in his grave - and he did! It sounded so convincing too, even Aleks was amazed!

So after swallowing his pride and basking in the gratifying feeling of Aleks being proud of him, they headed off to the beach… well, they did that a few hours later but Brett was basking in that all day. It’s just as comparable to the sunlight he’s now basking in.

That blazing fireball in the sky illuminates the whole beach and saturates what would be monochrome colors - for everybody else. For Brett, Aleks has that honor. The colors are still dull but they’re no longer ugly shades of gray. Brett can see that the sand is tan, that the water is blue, that the sky is a lighter blue, that the sun is yellow, but Aleks still garners all the colors. While the world has colors in various tones, they all go through a black hole.

Aleks is the one thing in the universe the black hole can’t affect and the world and its colors flow effortlessly through his powerful rainbow palette. Thanks to Aleks, the world is painted in their colors again and they might be dull now but overtime, they’ll become as vivid as Aleks is.

Brett licks along his lips as he watches Aleks slip off his tanktop and after giving his naked torso a good scan, he brings his attention to Aleks’ face… and then his hair. Brett chuckles and sits up on his knees, beckoning Aleks closer with his hands. “C’mere, lemme fix your hair.”

Aleks smiles and tilts his head down so Brett can softly run his hands back through his hair. Brett’s fingers tenderly card through the strands and smooth them out, ruffling up some until it looks like one of Aleks’ various hairstyles that he’s been trying out since bleaching his hair.

Tender fingers gently graze downward along Aleks’ scalp to rest on the nape of his neck. “Lookin’ good,” Brett murmurs before he moves forward to steal a peck from Aleks’ lips.

Should he be kissing Aleks on a somewhat busy beach? Probably not, considering Aleks’ track record with being caught with certain older men in public but one freak incident isn’t going to scare Brett off. With how many people are on this beach right now in the first place, somebody should’ve came up to them already but they haven’t. They tend to not be recognized much in LA, for whatever reason.

They still shouldn’t because they’re not boyfriends. Kissing each other and holding hands in public is seen as a romantic activity and they’re only fucking each other. It’d be a weird thing to explain to anybody if they get caught - unless Brett_ wants _to get caught.

Is it possible, on a very deep level, that he just doesn’t care if they do? Who knows.

It is also possible, on a very deep level, that Aleks doesn’t care if they do either because he has no problems wrapping his arms around Brett’s neck and asking, “you gonna come into the water with me?” all while he plays with the ends of Brett’s hair.

But it is also possible that they tend to block out the entire world and all who inhabit it when they’re together. 

“I’ll meet you there.” Brett smiles. “Lemme check a few things on my phone first.”

“Don’t keep me waiting too long for you.” Aleks winks, smiles back, and returns the peck from seconds prior before he stands and turns his back to walk towards the ocean.

Brett watches Aleks walk away with that thick ass in tow. Perhaps Aleks has gained some weight but it all seems to be localized in that region because the rest of his body looks the same. Whether Aleks gains weight or not, however, Brett’s going to like him all the same. Aleks can be big like him, he can be bald, he can have no tattoos - it doesn’t matter. Looks might’ve been what drew Brett to Aleks in the first place but now he likes Aleks for so much more, all the things that really set him apart from every other person.

He didn’t even have to check his phone. He just wanted a few minutes to admire everything about Aleks - there’s not a thing about Aleks he doesn’t like.

Besides his friendship with Asher, but every rose has its thorn.

Well, it’s like Aleks said, Brett can’t keep him waiting for too long. Aleks stays in that vast ocean without him for too long, he’ll get antsy. He’ll wonder what he did wrong, and they can’t have that, not now, not ever. Brett would never keep Aleks waiting.

Not intentionally.

Brett makes it onto his feet to head towards the shoreline. Aleks is slowly swishing through the water and right when he’s submerged at his waist is when Brett grabs his hips from behind.

“Wasn’t too long, was it?” Brett says before he moves his head enough to kiss Aleks’ cheek.

“Not long at all,” Aleks replies as he turns around. He grins at Brett and leans in, looks down to his lips like he’s about to kiss him… until he suddenly grabs the sides of Brett’s trunks to pull them down under the water.

He’s a special guy, that Aleks. Always having fun at the expense of others, wrecking chaos and havoc everywhere he goes, whether it’s on property or on somebody’s feelings. Brett really does hate that mischievous nature of Aleks.

(He loves it.)

As Aleks laughs maniacally and swishes his way back to shore, Brett whines “ALEKS!” rather loud and chases him after pulling his trunks back up. The water heeds their movements but Brett is naturally stronger so he catches up to Aleks relatively quick.

“Get over here!” Brett urges in a low, but almost playful tone as he turns Aleks around by his shoulders to hoist his body over his own shoulder.

“Yo, put me down!” Aleks exclaims as he beats his fists against Brett’s back. “It’s not like you have anything down there to be ashamed of!”

“Don’t butter me up,” Brett chuckles and pats Aleks’ ass. “Any last words before I throw you to the sharks?”

“Yeah. You’re a _ pussy.” _

“Annnd this pussy can easily manhandle you and throw you around! Like so!”

Brett tosses Aleks backwards into the water and turns around to watch him splash around. He laughs at Aleks when he appears from the surface and starts to wildly shake his head of the water back and forth.

Aleks coughs and runs his hands back through his wet hair as he narrows his eyes into a glare at Brett, with the faintest of smirks lightly painted over his lips - not that Brett would know, with his eyes being closed.

“Let’s uh, save all that action for inside the bedroom, huh?” Brett chuckles and crosses his arms over his chest. “You know better-” He opens his eyes just in time to see Aleks tugging on his arm with one hand, the other pushing down on his head to effectively push him under and Brett is so caught off guard that he stays under for quite a bit.

When Brett comes back up, he’s coughing madly and his eyes sort of sting, there’s the gross taste of salt water lingering on his lips, but then he squints his eyes open and any thoughts of revenge are washed away with his dignity.

Aleks is laughing like this is the funniest fucking thing in the world and his eyes are crinkled at the ends, one of the many idiosyncrasies about him that made Brett realize he liked Aleks in the first place. Aleks’ hair is completely wet and ruined now, it sort of sticks to his forehead, but he’s gorgeous. He’s always gorgeous but Brett thought he hit the apex of that when he’s doing it so effortlessly, in sweats and messed up hair - except Aleks is actually his most gorgeous when he’s as happy as one person can be.

Happiness is a wonderful look on Aleks.

Brett wants to see it all the time.

His eyes roam all over Aleks but they keep diverting back to his face, beaming brighter than that fireball in the sky. Brett breathes in and upon the exhale, his body relaxes and he steps forward to grab onto the back of Aleks’ thighs.

“Woah,” Aleks mumbles as he wraps his arms around Brett’s neck. “What are you - oooh, Brett.” He waggles his eyebrows at Brett when Brett lifts him in the water and Aleks wraps his legs around Brett’s waist in response. “Now I _ really _ wanna know what you’re doing.”

Brett nods his head upwards and looks to Aleks’ lips. “Kiss me,” he urges him.

And Aleks does - quite passionately.

Many others surround Brett and Aleks in this ocean. There are couples embracing the way they are, moms and dads playing with their kids, and friends throwing each other around. They blend in with everybody else and are strangers in all of their stories, not to be recognized or acknowledged. It allows them to get away with such open displays of affection, hiding amongst the literal sea of people.

There is not a soul that turns to look at Brett and Aleks as they make out. They don’t see the way Brett’s hands cling onto Aleks’ thighs like Aleks will float away if he doesn’t cling for his life, the tight way Aleks holds onto Brett’s neck like he needs so much more.

Actually… there are a few people who look their way, but they quickly go back to what they were doing before. To these strangers, Brett and Aleks seem like any other couple.

So perhaps the reason why they’re affectionate in public isn’t because they won’t get caught. Maybe it’s because they can continue to play make believe.


	13. The Sun Lasts Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett go to the Cheesecake Factory on a date, with Lindsey and James. Then they head to the nightclub for another date, just by themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The excuse for why this chapter was late? Animal Crossing. Lots of Animal Crossing.
> 
> Also, I am currently at my aunt's condo for the moment and I don't exactly have an optimal computer setup, which makes for a slower everything. Please forgive me, but everything will be back to normal by next week! And thank you all again for sticking with me.

**September 10th, 2017**

“Brett, can you help me with my tie?”

With a raise of the eyebrows, Brett lets go of his yet to be buttoned light blue shirt and makes his way to Aleks. “Do I need to teach you?” he asks as he grabs the ends of Aleks’ black tie to begin tying it for him.

“I can tie it myself,” Aleks explains, “but you do it better.”

“Trying to look good for somebody tonight?”

“You.”

Brett smiles and looks up to Aleks. He shakes his head, in disbelief that a guy he wants to impress is trying his best to impress him, and looks back down to his tie. “Aleks, you’d look good in nothing at all,” he tells him.

“Can’t go to the Cheesecake Factory naked though.”

“You could,” Brett says. “You’d go to jail, most likely. But you definitely could.”

Brett and Aleks’ _ fourth date _is special because they’re actually going out on a double date with the new couple of Lindsey and James. Not that Lindsey and James know it’s a double date (so Brett thinks). As far as they’re concerned, it’s a nice hang out between a group of close friends.

Lindsey and James are cute together. They’re not in anybody’s face with their relationship and they keep it to themselves. Every so often, they’ll sneak in little touches or sweet comments but it’s… very normal. It’s like they’ve been dating for years instead of the week it actually has been.

Brett is genuinely happy for them. It’s nice to see others in love. Really! Love is one of the reasons for living and one of the best concepts this universe has ever put into fruition but god damn, is it taxing and stressful as all hell.

But there’s one person that makes it all worth it.

Brett adjusts Aleks’ tie and smooths it down his chest. He steps back to look over the rest of Aleks’ outfit - a black button up tucked into black skinny jeans.

_ Keeping up the all black trend, I see. _

“Do I look presentable?” Aleks asks as he runs his fingers back through his hair.

“My angel looks stunning as always,” Brett answers. “Like, ridiculously so.”

Even in all black, Aleks continues to be the dictionary definition of an angel - as long as Brett ignores everything he does at the office. But Aleks is such a different person when he’s not constantly putting an act for the camera or playing up a specific aspect of his personality for friends.

Aleks is himself around Brett. He’s different around everyone else.

In the privacy of their home, Aleks seeks out warm arms to shroud him in safety and stability and the joking nature of his personality dwindles by a huge amount. He’s not as guarded, he doesn’t try to come across as this cool, laid back guy that gets stoned all the time. While Aleks is laid back with Brett for the most part, his anxieties aren’t as hidden and Brett knows just about everything he’s thinking.

In his true state, Aleks is an angel. Brett thinks people should see that more… or maybe they shouldn’t, otherwise they’ll begin to hopelessly crush on Aleks like he did.

Aleks’ lips stretch into a smile and he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Well thank you, daddy,” he says softly. “Not so bad yourself.”

“I still need to button my shirt,” Brett chuckles and goes back to that task, doing up his shirt with deft fingers.

“You said it yourself, you could go in there naked.”

“Then go to jail, be separated from you and that ass?” Brett scoffs. “I don’t think so.”

He leaves the first two buttons undone and then tucks his shirt into his fitting, dark blue slacks, held up by a brown belt. Brett turns to walk to his dresser and leafs through his hats-

“Dude, you _ are not _wearing a hat to the Cheesecake Factory,” Aleks chides.

“The rest of me is dressy, it’s fine.”

“No hats.”

“Aleks-”

“**No hats**,” Aleks tells him in a firm voice as he walks over to quickly slam the drawer back shut.

Brett blows out a breath and crosses his arms over his chest as he looks down to the ground. “Yes, angel…” he says in a defeated tone.

“Just rock the hairline, dude,” Aleks tells him. “It’s-”

“Sexy, yeah, you love the older guy thing and hey, it’s a big boost to my ego,” Brett points out as he looks back to Aleks. “But it’s not that, it’s the bald spot.”

“That’s what makes it _ you _ though. You’re a fucking _ dime, _ daddy,” Aleks assures as he gives Brett’s ass an oddly reassuring spank on the ass. “I wanna see everything about you.”

Brett huffs a fond breath through his nose and openly checks out Aleks, not in a lecherous sort of way, but with admiration, in mystification that Aleks could like most things about him when people tend to dislike most things about him.

_ Maybe I can go without the hat for tonight. Just tonight. _

He slips his arms around Aleks’ waist and pulls him to his body as he kisses the top of his head. “You really know how to make a man feel better,” he murmurs.

“We’re equals, aren’t we?” Aleks asks as he wraps his arms around Brett’s neck. “If I’m happy, you should be too. I always got your back, man.”

Brett doesn’t consider himself a cold man in the slightest. Years in this demanding industry has hardened him to some extent when it comes to negative feedback but every once in awhile, he needs the reassurance that somebody is on his side. He needs to know he’s doing a good job and that his work isn’t for naught.

Working behind the scenes is a lot different than being a main on screen personality and it’s a job people tend to gloss over, a job they don’t really think too hard about. Brett likes his job and everything that comes with it, even the late hours and unfavorable decision making, but the thing he likes most of all about this job, about this life, is Aleks. He makes those hard times bearable.

_ Buzz buzz. _

Brett and Aleks both step away to check their phones but it’s Aleks with the notification.

“What’s up?” Brett asks.

“Uhh, Lindsey and James got caught in traffic,” Aleks tells him. “It’ll be a little bit longer.”

“How much time do you think we have?”

“James said they’d be here in like, I dunno, 20 minutes?”

Brett purses his lips with a nod. “20 minutes,” he repeats. “What to do in 20 minutes…”

“20 minutes with each other,” Aleks says quietly. “Nobody else.”

Brett gives another nod and Aleks does too. Brett takes in a deep breath and looks all around the room, at the miscellaneous pieces of furniture that inhabit it. A dresser, a television, a bed, the typicals to be found in a bedroom - especially a bed.

_ A bed big enough for two. _

With a grin, Brett looks back to Aleks and Aleks rubs his hands together as he makes his way over to the edge of the bed, big enough for two. “Well then, Brett,” he says as he bends over the edge, his arms crossed on top of the comforters, “we might as well find something to do.”

Brett hums and walks behind Aleks, undoing his pants along the way. “I have a pretty good idea of what we could do…”

* * *

Aleks hisses a little in discomfort when he sits at the booth and he looks up to make sure that Lindsey and James didn’t hear, and they didn’t, but the man sitting next to him does.

“You sure you’re okay with keeping that plug in there?” Brett mumbles into his ear.

Aleks nods as he takes the menu. “Just still trying to get used to it,” he mumbles back.

It’s just as uncomfortable as the first time Brett put it in but at least he got to just lay down immediately afterwards. He has to actually walk around with this plug inside him,_ with Brett’s come inside him, _and it’s a presence that he’s constantly aware of - which is why Aleks doesn’t mind that it’s uncomfortable.

He loves knowing that Brett is inside him, but he can acknowledge that it’s definitely not something his body is supposed to easily adapt to. Having this inside him while he’s in public and out to dinner with two close friends is going to be a huge chore but hey, that makes it more fun.

“Hey guys, how are we doing… Brett?”

Brett looks up and gives the waitress a once over but when he sees her face, his eyes widen in realization. “Charlotte, hey! You uh, still work here?”

“Just on the weekends! Make a little spending money, you know?” Charlotte smiles and looks over to Lindsey. “Hey, been awhile! Who’s this cutie?” she asks as she points to James.

_ “This one,” _Lindsey grabs one of James’ hands with both of hers, “is mine. He’s cute, huh?”

James smiles and blushes as he looks down to their hands. “You’re a lot cuter, to be fair.”

Aleks narrows his eyes at Charlotte and with a smile, he asks, “hey, uh, how do you know Brett?”

Charlotte seems so familiar! The dark hair, the glasses, the various tattoos lining her arms - Brett’s type of girl.

“Oh, we used to date.” Charlotte shrugs. “He’s still a cutie but he’s a much better friend than a boyfriend,” she chuckles as she takes out her little notebook. “So what can I get you guys started with tonight drinks wise?”

Right, they used to date! That makes sense! She seems like a sweet girl too! The girls Aleks used to see Brett with have all been pretty cool, which is a lot more he can say for the dudes Brett has been with. Then again, he’s never dated a guy - it’s always been meaningless fucks.

Almost meaningless.

Aleks thinks the sex they have has _ some _meaning to it. They’re not in love or anything deep like that but if their sex was truly meaningless, Brett wouldn’t want to cuddle and sleep with him afterwards, not all the time. He wouldn’t want to go out on dates with Aleks. He wouldn’t want to be Aleks’ daddy, in and out of the bedroom.

Christ, he calls Aleks his _ angel. _ That’s not something you call a fuckbuddy, no matter what kind of dom/sub thing it is, but that’s still all they are.

It’s a complicated, weirdly sexy game of Risk they’re playing. Aleks sort of wonders if there’s an end to it but he doesn’t know if he ever wants to reach the end at all because he’s having way too much fun right now.

“Babe, what do you wanna drink?”

_ Aww, James is calling Lindsey babe. That’s cute. _

“Babe?” Brett chuckles and nudges Aleks’ foot. “What are you drinking tonight?”

_ OH FUCK, I’M BABE. Wait, why am I babe? _

Aleks swallows and sits up in his seat. “Uh, I’m just gonna get a Coke,” he answers. “Thanks… babe.”

Charlotte looks back and forth between Brett and Aleks with squinted eyes and a bit of a smirk. “Annnd a Coke for the _ babe _it is. I’ll be right back!”

Aleks crosses his arms on top of the table and squints his eyes in a curious manner at Brett and so do Lindsey and James. “Why did you call me babe?” he asks.

Brett proceeds to read his menu with way too much interest. “I dunno, I think she might’ve been flirting,” he answers. “Just wanna show that I’m off the market, for her, anyways."

Aleks blinks a few times and shakes his head a bit in bewilderment. “Uhh, she wasn’t flirting?”

Charlotte was very nice but why does that have to mean she’s flirting? It appears she and Brett ended on amicable terms so it makes sense that they’d be nice to each other. If she were to tell Brett that he’s hot and ask if he had a boyfriend or girlfriend, Aleks would see where he’s coming from but she’s just… nice. There’s nothing more to it.

“What made you think she was flirting?” Lindsey asks.

“Yeah, what…” James presses his lips together and looks down to the table before he grins and leans back in his seat. “Oh yeah, she /definitely/ was.”

“See!” Brett motions to James. “It’s the little things.”

“Mmhm.” James nods. “The little things really give it away. You are absolutely right, 100%.”

_ Why the fuck is he taking Brett’s - ow! _

“Ow,” Aleks whispers to himself when he feels a foot kicking him underneath the table and when he looks back up, he sees James raising his eyebrows at him, briefly in a sort of… knowing fashion, before he reaches for his menu.

He’s not sure what that kick was for but it must’ve literally hit some sense into his mind because why is he complaining about Brett treating him like a boyfriend? Why should it matter if she’s really flirting or not? Brett thinks she is and that’s, apparently, enough to call Aleks “babe” and probably do other boyfriend like things!

Aleks shouldn’t think too hard about it. He should just go along with it and act like everything is fine.

“Alright,” Aleks sighs as he sits back up in his seat. “I guess I’ll be your uh… your boyfriend for the night.”

“I greatly appreciate it.” Brett winks and looks Aleks up and down in his seat. “You look very handsome, by the way.”

_ “Don’t kill me for what I’m about to tell you,” Brett says, “but you look… _ ** _ so fucking cute_ ** _ right now,” he chuckles. _

_ Aleks crosses his arms on top the table and bumps them against Brett’s. “As opposed to every other day?” _

_ “Oh, you always look very cute,” Brett tells him. “But especially when you wear my shirts. And sidenote?” Brett leans back in his chair and crosses a leg on top the other. “You should wear all black more often.” _

Aleks’ smile stretches his face and he looks down, watching his fingers fiddle with his tie as he murmurs a “thanks.”

_ Wore it for you. _

“Annnd here are your drinks!” Charlotte cheers as she sets the drinks down one by one. “Which order am I taking first? The boyfriends or the boyfriend… and girlfriend?”

Aleks reaches for Brett’s hand on top of the table and intertwines their fingers together to give it a squeeze. He smiles over at Brett and raises his eyebrows, _ I got your back, _before he looks to Charlotte. “You can take the boyfriends first. I wanna start with an appetizer…”

Dinner proceeds as normally as it can with Aleks and Brett acting like boyfriends, not that they have to act too much in the first place. All that’s different is the labels they call each other when Charlotte comes by - the hand holding, the lingering looks, and the meaningful compliments, would’ve been done either way.

By the time everybody is done with their entrees and appetizers, it’s time to order dessert and there’s a lot of options. It makes sense that a place called The Cheesecake Factory would have a lot of cheesecake options to choose from. Why they have so many other options foodwise is a mystery but that’s a discussion to be had another day, like a day when Aleks and Brett aren’t so oblivious to how the other truly feels.

“... and I’ll order that Cinnamon Swirl cheesecake,” Aleks says as he slides the dessert menu to the top of the table. He nudges Brett’s arm and then looks down to his menu. “What looks good for you, babe?”

Brett smiles and sidles closer to Aleks so that their legs were touching. “I think I’m gonna get the Peppermint Bark,” he decides.

“I’ll put it in!” Charlotte tucks her pen away and crosses her arms over her chest. “By the way, Brett? You and your new boyfriend are incredibly cute together.” She smiles and then ducks her head, wagging a finger at Aleks. “Be nice to this one and cherish him! Brett’s a good guy!”

People who take the time to get to know Brett know that he’s a good person at the core. All of the fiery parts to him that might seem offputting are the parts of Brett that set him apart from everybody else. A few of them were qualities Aleks wasn’t a huge fan of at first but the more he spends time with Brett, the more they fuck, the more they kiss, hold hands, everything in between, he likes those just as much as his best traits.

She doesn’t need to tell Aleks to cherish Brett at all. He’s already doing that.

Lindsey grins at James and then she crosses her arms on top of the table. “You two are really giving it all to this cute boyfriend performance, huh?” she asks as she looks back and forth between them.

Aleks shrugs and wraps the both of his arms around one of Brett’s. “Gotta uh, make it clear he’s not interested. It’s just what best friends do for each other. James, remember when we acted like boyfriends in front of Steven?”

Lindsey furrows her eyebrows and looks back to James. “When did this happen?”

James sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “It was when he called him in to paint Brett’s office…”

_ “Yup, Aleks is mine.” James nods and wraps an arm around Aleks’ waist. “You can’t have him.” _

_ Aleks wraps the both of his arms around James’ waist and looks over to Steve with a nod. “Yup, we’re together,” he replies in monotone. “Been going on like, 4 years, right?” he asks as he looks to James. _

_ “4 long years, yup.” James nods and looks down to Aleks. “You’re uh, the love of my life. _ ** _Babe.”_ **

_ Aleks puts on the sappiest smile he can muster and then he leans in to kiss James square on the lips before he gives Steve his attention again. As James wipes off his lips with the back of his hand, Aleks asks Steve, “so what’s going on with you and Lindsey?” _

_ Steve beams and looks back to her. Lindsey smiles when they make eye contact and he gives her a wave before he looks back to Aleks. “Uh, nothing,” he replies honestly. “We’re just good friends.” _

_ “Good friends, huh?” Aleks laughs and reaches his hand up to pinch James’ cheek. “I remember when me and my _ ** _Jamesbear _ ** _ here were saying that to each other, isn’t that right?” _

_ James closes his eyes and wrinkles his nose. “That’s right.” _

_ Aleks hums and lets go of his cheek. “It always starts with being good friends and then it turns into something more. But those are the best kinds of relationships, I think.” _

_ Steve shakes his head and holds up a hand. “Nah, it’s not like that with me and her. She’s like a sister to me.” _

_ “Sure are close with your sister,” James mumbles. _

_ “What was that?” _

_ “Nothin’, just talking to myself.” James clears his throat. _

“James was maaad jealous, bro,” Aleks points out with a raised eyebrow.

Brett narrows his eyes at James. “Interesting way to show your jealousy,” he says quietly as he rests his hand on top of Aleks’ thigh.

Aleks breathes in deeply, his thighs tense under Brett’s strong, warm grip, and it makes him clench around the plug in turn.

_ Fuck. I’m tight as _ ** _ fuck._ **

James looks down from the ceiling to Brett and tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows together before he looks to Lindsey. “I didn’t want him to take everything/from me,” he says. “Didn’t want him taking my_ best friend.” _

Lindsey laughs and hugs James from the side as she rests her head on top his shoulder. “He was never going to take me!” she assures. “He was just my friend. But that’s super adorable. You’re adorable.”

“You two are disgustingly cute,” Brett chuckles and squeezes Aleks’ thigh before it travels down to rest in a much less threatening place on top of his knee. “How do you feel that James is gonna leave you for a few days at the Let’s Play Reunion?”

“Isn’t that only two days?” Lindsey asks. “He’s only staying one night. That’s nothing.”

“Do we gotta go, man?” James sighs and wraps an arm around Lindsey’s shoulder. “We’re not even a part of Rooster Teeth.”

“We’re a _ family,” _Brett stresses. “Geoff reeeally wants us there. This is his baby.”

“Or maybe he wants Aleks there.” James raises his eyebrows at Aleks. “You should take one for the team and represent Cow Chop.”

Aleks scoffs and shakes his head. “Trust me, dude, that ship has sailed. He’s moved on and I won’t be much help.”

He’s moved on with his best friend, though Aleks isn’t too sure what his relationship with Gavin is like now. Geoff had told Aleks that he was in love with Gavin, left the hotel room, annnd he hasn’t spoke of it since. It’s a complete mystery but Aleks figures he’ll find out what their relationship is like for sure at the Reunion.

_ Definitely a lot further along than me and Brett, at least... _

“Uh, how are you and him, by the way?” Brett asks as he looks to Aleks. “Ever since… ?”

_ “Aleks, I’m in love with Gavin,” Geoff reveals. “I have been for… a long fuckin’ time and…” He swallows and rolls his lips back in thought, tapping his fingers against his knee. “And he’s been a real fucking idiot lately, but I really need to tell him that.” _

_ Aleks presses his lips together and sighs through his nose, holding his arms to himself. “I’m not surprised,” he admits. “Does it uh, have anything to do with him and Meg-” _

_ “Yeah,” Geoff says in a tone just above a whisper as he slides off the bed. “I’m sorry, dude, I’m real fucking sorry, but I gotta go.” _

_ “It’s cool,” Aleks assures. “You love him,” he shrugs, “why should you wait to tell him, right?” _

Aleks shrugs. “We haven’t talked at all. Radio silence between us.”

“What was your relationship like?” Lindsey asks. “I really thought you two were cute.”

Brett’s hand travels back up to Aleks’ thigh, towards the inner part, and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

Aleks swallows and looks off at the rest of the restaurant but their booth is pretty far away from everybody. Not many people can look their way, more importantly, they can’t really get a good look at what’s happening underneath the table. Good thing too if Brett plans to do_ that. _Surprisingly, Aleks doesn’t want that to happen.

But if Brett wanted to take him into the bathroom and do it? Aleks is all for that shit, dude.

“Uh, it was good while it lasted,” Aleks answers. “He was cool, he was funny, uh… but it was more superficial than anything else, in hindsight. We just weren’t meant to be, you know?”

When you dump somebody, it doesn’t have to be something that they did wrong specifically. Sometimes you two just… aren’t right for each other. It happens. There’s no particular moment, no personality trait that drives you crazy, but a realization that a relationship just won’t work.

That’s what happened between him and Geoff. Geoff was, and is, a great person and Aleks enjoys his company but they don’t work in a relationship. It’s possible that if they were closer, they could’ve lasted longer but Aleks still thinks it would’ve failed.

It’s okay. Aleks harbors no ill will. Besides, if they were still together, he wouldn’t be with Brett at all. Aleks wants to think that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes he doesn’t know that reason but he’ll figure it out eventually, won’t he?

“You’ll find somebody,” Brett tells him. “It won’t be hard for you.”

_ I don’t think that somebody is too far away. _

“Here we areeee!” exclaims Charlotte in a beatific tone as she sets the desserts down on the table. “How are we splitting up the checks today?”

“I’m paying for her,” James says.

“And I’m-” Brett presses his lips together and looks over to Aleks with a smile. “Did you wanna pay, angel?”

Aleks isn’t sure what he’s most happy about. Brett is asking him if he wants to be the one to pay and it shows a huge consideration for how Aleks feels about this sort of thing. He doesn’t mind it at all when Brett pays but people _ always _assume Brett is the one to pay for him, to take care of him, like Aleks is dependent on Brett. It’d be fine if it wasn’t a thing that happens most of the time he goes out with Brett.

It’s a little thing that bothers Aleks and he acknowledges that it’s a tiny bit irrational. It’s just a fucking check. Brett could make fun of him for it and Aleks would understand but he’s not doing that now and he didn’t do it at their breakfast date either.

Instead, Brett’s checking in with him and it kind of makes Aleks’ night.

Brett called him_ angel _ too.

_ In public. _

There’s no grandiose explanation for how good that makes Aleks feels. It just does. It feels even better than Brett calling him babe, to hear him say that name with such casualness - like he’s been calling Aleks that forever instead of a few weeks.

His face beams bright and his smile would be even brighter if he wasn’t aware that their friends are with them. The smile is small, barely noticeable, but Aleks’ eyes are lively and give away how much he appreciates the seemingly small gesture.

Aleks places a light kiss to the corner of Brett’s lips before he looks over to Charlotte and proclaims, “I’ll be paying for Brett.”

“Annnd I’ll be back with the checks for all you lovebirds!”

“Here, babe,” Lindsey says as she slides a good amount of her salted caramel cheesecake onto her fork. “Try some of this.”

James grimaces and closes his his eyes. “Do I have to?”

“I know you don’t like caramel but this is good!” Lindsey assures. “I promise!”

Aleks and Brett chuckle when they watch James barely bite the dessert off her fork and while they watch, they decide to get a bite of their own cheesecake ready.

“... it’s not as bad as I thought,” James says around the dessert with a shrug.

“Not to uh, steal a page from their book or anything,” Brett says as he lifts up his fork. “But you should try mine too.”

Aleks raises his eyebrows at Brett and then looks down to his fork. He hums a generic tune as he mulls it over but it doesn’t take long.

“I’ll try it if you try mine,” Aleks offers.

He’s not really a huge fan of peppermint and chocolate mixed together… or he wasn’t until he kissed Brett for the very first time. It was all he tasted on his lips and in that moment, Aleks would have been content to taste that and only that for the rest of his life. So anytime he detects a hint of the sharp mint, tastes a sliver of the rich chocolate, Aleks always relates it back to Brett.

Brett nods his head upwards and looks to Aleks’ lips. “Cool with me. Open up.”

They both somehow manage to scoot closer to each other as they share their desserts, both biting it off their forks at the same time with smiles of equal enjoyment. They even chuckle to themselves at the slightly romantic nature of that, even blush a little too but they’re both so focused on the heat rising to their cheeks that they don’t notice the other feels the same way.

“It’s alright,” Aleks tells Brett after he swallows it down. He licks his lips clean of the taste and squints his eyes in thought as he adds in a quiet voice, loud enough for only Brett to hear, “honestly? It would probably taste better on your lips.”

Brett waggles his eyebrows as he takes a bite of his own cheesecake and then he leans in to mumble against Aleks’ ear, “you can do that when we get home tonight.”

What time is it? Like uh… just reaching 8? Somewhere around there? Whatever time it is, the night is still young so Aleks has plenty of time to chase after Brett’s lips for the exclusive mixture of peppermint and chocolate that only Brett holds the recipe for.

Though that takes a backseat to actually kissing Brett, among other things. They can kiss, makeout, grind, jerk each other off, blow each other, fuck each other, but they don’t have to do that. As shown in the past few days, it’s clear that they just enjoy the other’s company.

They can do more than the sexual. They can go out for breakfast. They can go to the beach. They can have dinner with their friends...

* * *

**September 13th, 2017**

… and they can even dance into the night with each other on their _ fifth date. _

The Avalon nightclub is steadily become Aleks’ and Brett’s club of choice for drinking and dancing. It helps that they’ve had a good track record here with each other, what with them sharing their first dance here as well as it being the last place they went to with each other before they fucked for the second time.

That second time, of course, was when they decided that fucking each other should be an ongoing thing and these chain of events have led them back here, drunkenly grinding against each other and consuming alcohol like it’s being fed to them through a tube.

**[ ****♪ ]** **_Scandroid - Aphelion_**

_ “I don’t want to power down, but what else can I do?” _

A big wet kiss is meant for Brett’s lips and though it only catches the corner, Aleks still smiles like he got the entire thing. He grinds up against Brett’s crotch and tugs downwards on the collar of his long sleeved black shirt, tightening the hold around Brett’s neck with the other arm as the drink in that hand swishes around, dangerously close to spilling.

“You look so good tonight, dude,” Brett slurs. “Whenever you wear black, I just wanna like… I wanna do _ this.” _And with a laugh, his hands drift from the small of Aleks’ back to grab his ass with both hands to grind back against his hips. 

_ “When life breaks my heart, I pray to God that I fall in love with you…” _

“You always wanna do that,” Aleks points out with an eyeroll. “And my pants are white, dumbie. Dumb dumb…” He furrows his eyebrows together. “Hey, do they got Dum-Dums here?”

Their outfits almost match in color. Aleks is wearing a long sleeved black shirt of his own with his white pants along with a black beanie, whereas Brett is the all black, all beautiful man tonight with his shirt and black jeans. If Aleks wasn’t so drunk, he’d compare thee to a summer’s day! Much more lovely and… maybe not temperate thou Aleks’ body finds oneself in such a state so that part of the sonnet is still accurate! Thou summers shall end, they come in a bright light and go in a rough wind, the lease on Brett’s beauty hath no end date! Thy shall not fade! Long live thee!

But Aleks is incredibly drunk so all he can think is how fuuucking sexy he is, dude, like holy shit, Brett’s a fucking_ man. _

He should fuck _ a man. _

Like _ Aleks. _

_ “In my favorite dreams I feel your heat, though I’m farthest from the sun.” _

“Nah.” Brett shakes his head. “But they got something else here. Something better.”

“What’s that?”

“These_ cakes, _ son!”

Brett gives Aleks’ ass quite a good squeeze and it catches him off guard, enough that the arm Aleks has around Aleks’ neck jerks a little.

The arm that was carrying a drink. The drink for Aleks, the drink chosen especially to be drunk by Aleks. Aleks’ drink. That drink.

_ “But your glowing eyes are cold as ice - you are my Aphelion.” _

“Aleks!!” Brett gasps and hops back, turning around repeatedly in place while he tries to reach his hands behind his back.

Aleks blinks a few times and looks down to his empty glass. He frowns and looks back to see Brett’s hands grabbing the collar of his own shirt, now completely wet in the back. “I didn’t meeean too,” Aleks argues pitifully. 

Brett assures Aleks that it’s, “s’all good!” as he takes off his shirt to reveal the white tanktop underneath. Amazingly enough, his black baseball hat stays frontwards on his head through the whole exchange.

_ “And all the time I thought I walked these empty streets alone…” _

“Just means more of me to love,” Brett reasons while waggling his eyebrows.

Aleks stares openly at Brett’s hairy chest with no shame and his big grin gives away how pleased he is with these turn of events. He manages to set his empty glass by a conveniently located table nearby and when he turns back to Brett, Brett has twisted up his wet shirt to drape it over Aleks’ neck so he can pull him in for a wet kiss.

_ “I never thought I’d be with you, heading into the unknown…” _

Once their mouths push together, Brett throws his shirt off to the side and returns his hands to Aleks’ ass. This time, Aleks is prepared when Brett squeezes him and he even laughs against Brett’s lips as his arms reach up to wrap around his neck.

Their kiss is as messy as the YouTube comments whenever he and Brett get a bit too close in a video (at least nowadays) but it holds the same amount of enjoyment as… well, what’s the highest level of enjoyment for Aleks that isn’t Brett’s dick? Or Brett? Ah! It holds the same amount of enjoyment as uh… getting stoned.

No, that doesn’t sound like a fair comparison. What sounds more meaningful? If Aleks wasn’t drunk, what would be a comparison worth writing about?

_ “So far away again, my winter has begun!” _

It holds the same amount of enjoyment as… stargazing. Yeah. That sounds accurate. 

Aleks really likes to stargaze. He likes the whole astronomy thing, the stars and planets and what not. There’s a whole universe out there to explore and what they have on earth isn’t even a dip in the bucket.

Endless nebulas and galaxies in an elevated reality have yet to be touched upon but there are still people inhabiting this planet that find this existence good enough without all that exploration.

_ “And I can’t see when you’re next to me - you are my Aphelion!” _

Aleks wants to probe into the other side. He wants to envision all the possibilities that can be realized with excavating such a tremendous outerworld but then he kisses Brett, he kisses him and their tongues miss the mark, they go all over the place, they have no sense of direction even though they only want to kiss each other but then, maybe they /do/ have a sense of direction in their drunken haze - each other.

No specific part of each other, just… each other.

He kisses Brett and what he has on earth is… fine. Aleks doesn’t need much more.

Aleks only needs more when Brett pulls away. Not even Brett’s dick, though his dick is fucking _ fire, _ but just more of Brett, anything of Brett. There can never be too much of him, Aleks thinks, only too little.

_ “I don’t want to go offline, but what else should I do?” _

“Hey, Aleks?” Brett asks. “Angel? You theeere?”

“S’up, daddy?” Aleks grins and pulls himself against Brett’s body.

That’s when Brett makes the astute observation to Aleks that “we’re really drunk.”

“Yeah… we really are. Aw no, dude!” Aleks sighs and drops his face against Brett’s neck. “What if we don’t remember the night?”

_ “With a broken heart I pray to god, I can orbit close to you...” _

“That’s more a me thing than you thing. I always forget shit when I’m drunk. Cause I’m old. Like, civil war, old.”

“We should like… take pics or something. So we can remember.”

“No, Aleks!” Brett pulls away with a bright smile as he tries his hardest to take out his phone. “Let’s take a SICK VIDEO, DUDE.”

Another amazing idea from Brett Hundley! Aleks wants to suck his dick as a thank you!

_ “In my favorite dreams you feel so real, like a fire from the sun.” _

“C’mere next to daddy, angel,” Brett slurs as he throws his arm around Aleks’ neck, his other hand opening the camera on his phone. He lifts it up to get his and Aleks’ smiling faces in the shot and when Brett presses the record button, he winks at the camera, nods his head upwards like a real cool guy, and says “s’up?”, also like a real cool guy.

“I’m out… I’m out with Brett!” Aleks tells the camera. “We’re drunk. Annnd we’re dancing.”

“On each other.”

“Cause we’re like… we’re gay. We’re real gay.”

“Eh, I’d say just kinda gay.”

“But that’s cool, you know? It’s 2017, this shit’s becoming the norm!”

_ “But your foreign eyes are cold as ice - you are my Aphelion.” _

“Hey, Aleks,” Brett says as he looks over to him. “I… I really like, love you.”

“Dude!” Aleks exclaims while he looks back to Brett. “I love you too, man!”

“No, I mean, I _ love _ love you.”

“Yeah.” Aleks nods. “I love love_ looooove _you. A whole lot. You’re… dude, fuck, you’re my best friend, you know? And so much more.”

Like boyfriends! Except not like boyfriends, because they won’t confess their feelings to each other! They’ll probably look back on this video tomorrow and think the other one means it in a_ toootally _ platonic fashion and that’s true on some level. They really do love each other like family and they both are certain they’re not _ in love _with the other.

It’s just that the truth, often subconscious, tends to come out when you’re drunk.

_ “And all the time I thought I walked these empty streets alone.” _

Brett chuckles and his gaze flickers into the camera. “So much more,” he repeats lowly. “You know what we should do?”

“Each other?”

_ “I never thought I’d be with you, heading into the unknown.” _

“Later,” Brett says. “We should kiss-”

And Aleks kisses him the millisecond he finishes that sentence.

Seriously, it happened _ so fast _that Sonic The Hedgehog is kind of envious of it.

It’s not messy at all like the last one. It happens pretty quick and Aleks and Brett pull away from each other with exaggerated “mwahs!” before Brett completely turns off the recording.

_ “So far away again, my winter has begun!” _

“Kay, I’ma upload this,” Brett says quietly as he sets forth on doing just that.

“You think people will like it like our kiss at PAX?” Aleks asks. “Cause… people really liked it. Or they thought it was funny. Or hot. Or both.”

“Yo, there were like… some people, they were like _ ‘but what if Aleks didn’t want that?’ _ ” Brett mocks. “They were like _ ‘what if Brett is kissing him against his will? I really hope Aleks is comfortable with it!’ _ and legit, dude? Sorta bothered me. Like they know about what you want.” Brett uploads the video after tagging Aleks and right when he tweets it out, he gives a big “HA!” and then says, “I’m the one fucking your sweet ass all the time, baby! I think I have a _ puuurdy _good idea of what you want.”

_ “And I can’t see when you’re next to me - you are my Aphelion!” _

Aleks raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest. “Yeah? What do I want right now, daddy?”

“Dum-dums?”

“YES, DUDE!” Aleks exclaims. “But no.”

Brett blinks a few times but it quickly dawns on him what Aleks wants. His eyes widen and after shoving his phone back in his pocket, he points at Aleks and says, with utmost confidence, “butt fuckin’!”

“I’ll race you to the bathroom.”

_ “So far away again, my winter has begun!” _

“No, we gotta stick together!” Brett tells him as he moves forward to grab his hand. “Stick together now, then I_ stick it in you, _ you know what I’m sayin’?”

There’s no other way to interpret it. Of course Aleks knows what Brett is saying. Everybody, regardless of sobriety, indeed knows what he is saying.

But Aleks still giggles like it’s sooo funny and drops his head against Brett’s shoulder. He even tells Brett that, he tells Brett, “you’re so funny.” Then he sighs and turns his head to look up at Brett.

That’s when Aleks says, “I love you”.

But in like, a platonic way.

“Aww, angel,” Brett cooes and looks down to Aleks, bringing his other hand up to gently grab his chin. “I love you too. And I’m gonna show you how much real soon.”

_ “And I can’t see when you’re next to me - you are my Aphelion!” _

Whether they actually manage to fuck each other in this drunk state is a mystery that won’t be found out until the morning. If Aleks has a sore ass, then it’ll be obvious what happened in that bathroom but even if they don’t fuck, s’all good with him.

Honestly, the both of them won’t remember much about this night. They won’t remember anything at all, maybe vague, murky snapshots if they’re lucky but they do remember one thing quite clearly and it’s been a trend throughout their most recent dates with each other - how damn happy they were and how damn happy they are to be together.

Just the two of them and nobody else.

_ Nobody to bother us. _


	14. You Are Stardust (And Mine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks convinces Brett to fuck him and basically treat him like nothing more than a fucktoy - all night long. Brett, of course, is all for it, even if he is somewhat overwhelmed by the notion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of my most favorite chapters, along with Chapter 15, and I hope you all figure out why after reading this!

**September 14th, 2017**

Brett’s fingers quickly tap against his desk and his other hand rests right on top the keyboard. He’s trying to figure out the best way to respond to all these comments about the video he posted to Twitter last night, you know, the one where he and Aleks kissed on the lips and said that they love love _ love _ each other?

He didn’t even know he posted anything like that until he finally checked his phone at the warehouse this morning. Before that, everything felt normal. Actually, things felt better than normal and Brett still can’t pinpoint the reason for it. The morning was brighter and sounds were more clear - he didn’t even have a hangover!

Brett’s immediate instinct is to address it and make a snide comment about everybody who thinks that he and Aleks are toootally in love with each other after this but he remembers what Aleks told him about being too defensive. He gets too defensive and people will really think he’s trying to hide something, which he is, but Aleks doesn’t need to get caught in the crossfire of him trying to hide his feelings.

Brett blows out a breath and pushes away from his desk as he decides not to acknowledge it at all. If he ignores it, so will everybody else!

_ Buzz buzz. _

Brett furrows his eyebrows together and lifts up his phone from the desk to see that Aleks has liked his tweet about the video. Innocent enough! His heart skips a beat when he sees it but then it always does that when he’s reminded of Aleks in some way. Brett goes to put his phone back down but it buzzes again, this time with a comment from Aleks:

_ “According to Twitter, we’re basically married now. Wanna make it official?” _

He wishes he could be as calm as Aleks is about this! He’s not forced to confront his feelings when fans talk about shit like this, he can just laugh it off and go his merry way! Brett knows it annoys Aleks too but unlike Aleks, he doesn’t mind letting his annoyance show.

Sometimes, Brett wishes he could be a bit more like him.

Brett sighs and decides not to leave Aleks hanging. Also, the comment was pretty cute.

_ “As long as I get to wear the dress, I’ll do anything you want“ _

“Brettzle Stick!”

_ My angel! _

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks up to see his angel in question at the door, looking the same as ever but it also means he’s just as beautiful. He leans back in his seat and holds up his phone in Aleks’ eyesight as he says, “yo, about this video-”

“What about it?” Aleks asks.

“Listen uh…” Brett swallows and rubs the back of his neck. “We were both really drunk-”

“Yeah, that’s why we were so like, touchy feely with each other, saying we love each other and shit.”

“I didn’t mean that in a romantic way,” Brett tells him. “You know that, right?”

Aleks nods and walks over to Brett’s desk. “Don’t worry, I didn’t get it twisted. We’re still just two dudes buttfuckin’.”

Brett cracks a bit of a weird smile as he gently tosses his phone back onto the desk. “Right. That’s all we are,” he mumbles. “So what’s up?”

“You feeling okay about the comments?” Aleks asks as he crosses his arms on top Brett’s desk. “They’re not getting to you?”

Brett scoffs and shakes his head. “No, of course not.”

“You sure?”

Brett purses his lips to the side and looks up to the ceiling. “I mean, it’s still annoying but I figure if I don’t comment about it, it’ll go away on its own. It’s just gonna be one of those new things in Cow Chop, you know?” he sighs and looks down to Aleks. “Like, James and his fat stacks, the dumb jokes about Trevor and pussy-”

“Or people starting to call me Ellen DeGeneres?” Aleks raises his eyebrows. “That’s a thing happening now.”

Brett snorts and rolls his lips back. “Damn dude, uh, that’s… “ _ That’s actually kind of funny. _“... that’s fucked up.”

“You can laugh. It’s fine it’s from you.”

“It’s a little bit funny but not that funny,” Brett chuckles and shakes his head. “But yeah, it’s just one of those things we gotta get used to. Just Brett and Aleks being gay with each other, haha, it’s the elite of comedy,” he says in monotone.

Maybe they should go full force with it. They can openly kiss on camera, touch on camera - do more than just make sexual innuendos towards each other. Of course, he and Aleks can just _ not _ act that close but at this point for Brett, it’s impossible. Brett’s not going to hide what he does or how he feels (mostly) just because some fans wanna be weird.

“Well at least you’re embracing it,” Aleks points out as he looks up to Brett. “Anyways, now that we’ve talked about that all of a sudden, there’s something else I wanna talk to you about.”

“Lay it on me.”

“So for my birthday, you-”

_ Knock knock knock. _

Brett and Aleks look over to Brett’s office door to see Trevor on the other side with what appears to be a knockoff Grimace… bubblemaker… thingy. Behind Trevor is Asher with the camera, _ ohhh fuck, why do we have to be on camera right now?, _ and before one of them can lock the door or tell Trevor to go away, Trevor and Asher are already making their way inside.

“Hey guys, what’s the hip happenin…” Trevor furrows his eyebrows and looks around the office. “Is the air in here like, really heavy to you guys?”

Brett and Aleks narrow their eyes in shared confusion and glance to each other. “Uh, heavy?” Brett asks as he hops out of the chair, looking right ahead at Trevor’s bubblemaker.

“Like, suffocating, almost. You know what I mean?”

Aleks blinks a few times and shakes his head. “No. No, I don’t know what you mean. What the fuck do you have there?”

“Bubbles!” Trevor exclaims.

Brett and Aleks humor Trevor and his bubblemaker, which happens to shoot edible bubbles. They taste like cotton candy and they’re just as sticky as the real thing too. After it pops over Aleks’ eye and sticks Brett’s beard together, Brett decides that minute of fun is over.

“Hey, I got wipes on my desk. Go wipe your eyes,” Brett softly tells Aleks as he rubs his shoulder. Then he looks to Trevor and waves his other hand dismissively while he manages to tell him, very politely, to “get the fuck out of my office.”

He escorts Trevor out and locks the door behind him so he and Aleks can finally have time to discuss whatever is on Aleks’ mind. It’s probably work related and Brett bets that it’ll be about his script for a video they want to film about their new Patreon. Aleks has kind of been stressing over it whenever they’re not actively doing something together.

“Okay, so, what were you going to tell me before we were interrupted?” Brett asks as he watches Aleks throw away the wipes.

“Oh yeah, that.” Aleks stands back up straight and claps his hands together, rubbing them in anticipation before he tells Brett, “I want you to fuck me all day until I’m literally begging you to stop.”

Brett nods. “Alright, you want - _ excuse me?” _

A smirk presents on Aleks’ face as he crosses his arms over his chest. “For my birthday, you got me the collar and leash and I wanna use it.”

“We did use it,” Brett reminds him. “On me.”

“I wanna use it on _ me,” _ Aleks clarifies. “Remember that suit you wore for Spyfall?”

“That light blue suit you said I looked like a sugar daddy in?”

Aleks’ smirk shifts into a bright smile and he nods. “Can you wear it tonight?” he asks. “It’d be so hot, Brett. Please? Can you?”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t say yes?” Brett chuckles.

“You sounded a bit apprehensive when I brought up the collars just now so… I’m just making sure with you.”

“Just wasn’t what I was expecting. Honestly, this whole thing we’re doing isn’t what I was expecting but it’s not bad at all. It’s kind of the opposite.” Brett grins and lets his hand slide over Aleks’ back as he goes to hop up onto his chair. “So I’ll wear the suit. What will my angel be wearing?”

“I’m going full commando, bro,” Aleks answers. “Wearing the collar and leash, obviously, but nothing else. Ideally, I want to be beneath you.”

“So you’re wearing nothing and you want to _ be _nothing.”

“Yeah, dude, you got it!”

Brett bites at his lips and looks to his desktop. “Is there like… a certain way you want me to treat you?” he asks as he scratches the nape of his neck. “Am I actually fucking you until you beg me to stop?”

“Until I give the safe word, yeah.”

Brett hums lowly and tilts his head. “Okay, I don’t know if I should be smacking you around and choking you hard like I did last time, not too much,” he explains. “I know you like that, personally, but I don’t know if-”

“Do what makes you comfortable,” Aleks assures. “Treat me however you want. Just be sure to be an awesome dominant daddy. I don’t think you’ll have a problem at all doing that.”

Brett slowly licks along his lips as he looks back over to Aleks. Pupils scan over his body and work in tandem with his brain to figure out what would be the best course of action in dealing with him tonight. There’s a lot of ways he can dish out the domination but Brett actually doesn’t want to be too rough with him.

Maybe it’s the dates they’ve been going on with each other but Brett just wants to worship him, honestly. Brett wants to kiss over every inch of Aleks’ body and praise him, tell him how amazing he is. He doesn’t wanna wreck a single part of his body. He still wants to make it obvious that Aleks belongs to him but he doesn’t wanna force that through the dirtiest of words that’ll make a whore blush.

Aleks slowly steps forward to Brett and rests a hand over his back, runs it slowly up and down in an almost soothing manner. “I’ll like anything you do to me,” he says quietly. Aleks rolls his lips back, gnaws at the bottom in contemplation before he moves his mouth by Brett’s ear to whisper, “as long as daddy gets that thick cock in me, I don’t care.”

_ Trevor’s right! The air really is heavy in here! _

Brett breathes in deeply and sits up straight in his chair as he looks back to his desktop. “I’ll figure out something,” he says. “You let daddy worry about all of that, angel. You just take it easy.”

Aleks said it himself that he’ll like anything Brett does to him! Brett shouldn’t think too hard about it and he won’t!

* * *

Brett thinks too hard about it.

“Just do what feels right,” he says to himself in the mirror as he adjusts his dark blue tie for the umpteenth time. “You wanna spank him? Spank him. You wanna slap him? Slap him…” Brett frowns. “I don’t wanna slap him,” he sighs. “Not today, anyways.”

At the very least, he’s the epitome of a daddy dom in the suit Aleks wanted him to wear, the same one he wore in their Spyfall videos. Along with the tie, it’s a light blue pinstripe suit, complete with a vest and blazer, along with a white button up. Even though Brett finds himself ridiculously good looking in it, he still feels the nerves.

Brett did a great job dominating Aleks last time so he doesn’t even know why he’s nervous right now. Is it because the collar and leash is still a new thing for them?

“Brett?” Aleks calls out against the bathroom door. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah!” Brett stammers and looks down to the counter. “I’ve just suddenly gone fucking stupid with my tie,” he forces a chuckle. “Gimme a minute.”

He needs to just go out there! He’ll see Aleks besides the collar and leash and his mind should go into autopilot! It’s not a big deal! Everybody gets nervous before the big game! Haha, yeah, that’s all it is!

“Do you need my help?” Aleks calls out.

“No, I’m cool!”

“Just let me know, okay? Take your time.”

The brief exchange does help in putting Brett at ease, not by a lot but it’s better than nothing. It’s good to know that Aleks cares about him.

Brett picks up the cock ring from the counter, inspecting it a few times before he slides it into the chest pocket of his suit. He takes a deep breath and looks over to the door as he places his hand upon the knob. Brett slowly turns the knob and waits for the door to fully open before he steps into his bedroom and then he closes the door behind him.

Brett swallows and rolls his shoulders back as he tries to access his character for this game of theirs and while he does that, Aleks waits patiently on the edge of the bed. When Brett finally looks back to Aleks after achieving some semblance of what he wants, he notices his eyesight going to the collar and leash. Luckily for him, this is the first step in their game.

Slowly stalking towards the edge of the bed, Brett picks up the collar with one hand and the other lifts the leash, his thumb lightly grazing back and forth along the black leather. His eyes narrow in reflection as he dives back into the character he’s still putting together.

Brett wants to be the kind of dom that Aleks had acted with him - gentle, but had no problems asserting his authority when the situation called for it. He was loving and assured Brett every step of the way and Brett thinks that particular treatment was what made him love the submissive role.

He was cared for. He was cherished, almost. He doesn’t want to copy Aleks exactly but it’s a good blueprint for tonight.

Brett clicks his tongue and steps away from the bed as he looks over to Aleks. “Take off your clothes,” he tells him. “Then stand on your feet. Do it quickly.”

The clothes are quickly discarded into a pile on the floor and Aleks waits patiently on his feet for further instructions. He eyes the symbol of absolute submission in Brett’s hands and he bites at his bottom lip, twiddles his fingers in anticipation for what’s about to come.

He watched Aleks strip but now Aleks is fully naked, fully still, almost like a statue and he sort of is. Aleks is a porcelain statue carved with the finest marble and it was done especially for Brett and his hands, for Brett and his eager eyes to admire and it’s exactly what Brett does.

Dark brown eyes roam the canvas of Aleks as Brett slowly encircles him, like a photographer trying to work out the best angles of his model, only all of Aleks’ angles are great. Brett purses his lips together with a nod of approval at what he sees, can’t even help the quick grab to Aleks’ ass, and then he makes it back in front of Aleks again to openly check him out.

A statue like this needs to be dealt with carefully. Brett doesn’t want to scratch it up at all, not unless he knows it would add much needed value.

“You are definitely a sight for sore eyes,” Brett comments. “_ ‘Angel’ _ really does suit you.” Brett’s gaze rises to Aleks’ face and he beckons him over with a finger. “Come here, angel.”

Aleks walks in front of Brett, still eyeing the collar and leash with heavy desire. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait any longer for it because the sole purpose Brett told him to come was so he can clasp the collar around his neck.

The collar is just like the leash, made of fine black leather, and it’s a stark contrast to Aleks’ marble white skin. It stands out immensely and it makes the idea of Aleks being his so much more obvious.

_ Mine. _

Brett grabs the beginning of the leash, connected to the front ring of the collar, and his fingers trail down the length of it. Once it’s a good distance away from the starting point, he wraps some around his fingers and clenches his hand into a fist as he gives the leash a tug. “On your knees,” he commands.

Aleks settles on one knee, then the other, and he moves himself over one of Brett’s feet. He wraps his arms around Brett’s leg and squeezes to get his attention and Brett looks down into Aleks’ widened eyes, eyelashes batting together in such innocence like he isn’t fully naked with a fucking collar around his neck, like he doesn’t have an erection pressing against Brett’s leg.

Brett knows he’s looking at Aleks. It looks exactly like Aleks but to see Aleks be so submissive for him is still such an alien concept. Except it isn’t because Aleks likes to be submissive, just as long as it’s Brett he’s submitting to.

Brett brings his other hand down to stroke back through Aleks’ blonde hair. “You are so good for me, angel,” he says softly. “You have no idea how much daddy appreciates you.”

“I wanna show daddy how much I appreciate him,” Aleks mirrors. “Please, daddy?”

“How will you show daddy that?”

“With my mouth.” Aleks looks to Brett’s crotch and rolls his lips back to stifle a moan and it devolves into a hum instead. “I know how much you love my mouth, daddy.”

“He sure does, angel,” Brett breathes as he tugs on Aleks’ collar again, the action causing Aleks’ head to press against his crotch. “Go ahead. It’s yours to play with.”

Aleks allows the moan to escape his lips this time and he slips off Brett’s leg to be in between the both of them again. He grabs ahold of Brett’s belt with both hands as he moves forward to mouth at him through his dress pants and Brett lulls his head back with a moan in approval.

“Don’t take too much time, angel,” Brett tells him firmly. “You can have a minute or two but then you need to get to the actual thing.”

“Yes, daddy,” Aleks moans. “But you just… I just…” He whines and suckles at Brett’s head. “I couldn’t wait to feel you, I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay,” Brett tells him. “Don’t ever be sorry. You’ll know if you did something wrong, I promise.”

That looks to be the case because Aleks doesn’t take too long after that. He mouths along Brett’s shaft and trails his tongue along it from the outside but he doesn’t make a scene of it. Aleks unzips Brett’s pants and a grin flashes over his face when he realizes that Brett isn’t wearing briefs but he doesn’t break character for too long.

Aleks’ grin vanishes and he opens his mouth wide, prepared to take Brett in, but then Brett tugs back on his collar and he has to whine at Brett’s cock being held back from him.

“You’ll get to suck me off,” Brett assures him. “I just wanna know if you’ll let me fuck that gorgeous face of yours. Is that okay?”

A pout is still present on Aleks’ face but with the way his body relaxes, it shows that he doesn’t mind the new development. “Yes, daddy.”

“Can you say it so I know you’re okay with it?”

“Fuck my mouth, daddy,” Aleks moans and hitches himself closer. “Fuck it hard.”

“That’s what I wanna hear,” Brett rasps as he grabs himself to line up with Aleks’ mouth and he brings his other hand to the back of Aleks’ head, the leash forgotten for now. “Open wide for daddy, angel.”

Aleks closes his eyes and tilts his head back, opens his mouth wide for Brett just like he wants and he moans loudly as Brett slides himself in. His hands lay on top his thighs, nails pressing into his own skin for purchase as Brett begins to thrust in and out of his mouth at a steady pace.

Brett moans and brings the other hand to the back of Aleks’ head. Fingers curl through the strands so he can pull Aleks’ head back and forth in tandem with his hips, though he still makes sure not to push in _ too _ much - he’s considerate of Aleks’ gag reflex.

Aleks’ mouth is still the best mouth Brett has ever used, limitation or not. Even right now, when he’s not doing a damn thing except sitting there on his knees, it’s a pleasure that rests high on the scale, not for the act itself but because of how damn pretty Aleks looks.

Brett looks down in the midst to see his cock stretching Aleks’ mouth, notices the light reflecting off the saliva trailing out of the corners of Aleks’ lips and his eyes are screwed tightly shut but then he opens them to look up at Brett and fuck, Brett could get lost in his eyes right now. He can stare into them all day, not do a lick of work, and he’ll come out of his trance with that knowledge but that’d be fine. Looking at Aleks is so much more productive anyways.

A moan bubbles up from Aleks’ throat and the vibrations send through Brett’s cock, increases his pleasure, and Brett moans loudly in response. Aleks spreads his knees wider and, maintaining eye contact, his hands move up his legs and splay out among his thighs. Aleks’ hands roam all over his thighs, they graze over his crotch but not once does he touch himself.

Aleks is a tease, even in his most submissive state. Brett hates it but he hates more how much he loves it.

Brett bites down on his bottom lip and breathes in deeply before he slowly pushes all the way into Aleks’ mouth. Aleks’ hands stop at his inner thighs and he’d whine if his mouth wasn’t so full so all that comes out is a loud gagging noise along with these sort of quiet, pathetic, indescribable noises that rise from his throat. It’s pitiful, Brett feels bad, but Aleks feels _so good_ so he keeps pushing, he keeps Aleks’ head right there.

“Oh god, angel, you feel so good,” Brett praises. “Good boy… you’re such a good boy, taking all of daddy like this. Just hold tight for him. Here, lemme…” He takes a hand off Aleks’ head and lets it hang in the air, fingers wagging back and forth and Aleks immediately reaches a hand up to hold onto his to squeeze it in a death grip.

“It’s okay, angel,” Brett whispers. “I got you.”

Brett doesn’t stay down Aleks’ throat long and after about a minute, he fully pulls out of Aleks’ mouth for his entirely wet, completely hard cock to pop into the open. As Aleks coughs and tries to get his breathing back under control, Brett takes the cock ring from his suit pocket so he can clamp it around his erection.

He’s never used a cock ring before but he knows the intended purposes behind it and it all boils down to being able to fuck Aleks all night. Brett’s own orgasm isn’t his top priority - it’s Aleks. And giving Aleks orgasm, after orgasm, after orgasm, back to back. Brett definitely feels a pressure around him, like a rubber band around a thumb, but it’s a secondary sensation to everything else happening in this room.

“How are we feeling?” Brett asks. “What color?”

Aleks coughs and presses his hand on his throat as he gives a thumbs up with the other. “Green,” he croaks.

Brett nods and looks over to the bed. “Good,” he breathes. “Wanna bring this to the bed?”

“Please, daddy.”

“You know what, you’ve been good so far,” Brett tells him. “I’m gonna leave and grab something real quick-”

“You’re leaving?” Aleks voice raises a pitch. “What are you getting?”

Brett chuckles. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out, my precious angel. Just trust me.”

Aleks frowns as he crawls over to the edge of the bed to climb on top. “So… I need to be alone without you?” he asks quietly while he shifts to sit on his haunches. “What am I gonna do when you’re gone, daddy?”

Brett looks back to Aleks and his heart drops to his stomach at the crestfallen expression on his angel’s face. Distress is etched over his features and Brett knows that this is a game, they’re just playing make believe, but he finds it hard to be a dominant daddy when his angel is so_ sad. _

“Angel, I’ll be back,” Brett assures in a sweet tone as he sits beside him. “You know-”

“Don’t leave,” Aleks whines and pats at his blazer before he tugs at the hem of it.

Biting at his lips, Brett contemplates whether to actually punish Aleks for telling him what to do or to continue to console him. The whole point right now is to order Aleks around and do as he pleases but Aleks genuinely looks sad, fuck, he’s a terrific actor and Brett wonders how the hell he’s supposed to play with his precious angel when he’s like this.

Brett breathes in deeply and tightens his hold on the leash. “I’ll only be gone for a minute or two-”

_ “Daddy,” _ Aleks whines even louder and moves himself to straddle one of Brett’s legs. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Aleks-”

“I’m nothing without you,” Aleks whimpers as he grabs Brett’s tie with one hand, the other clutching the collar of his button up as he moves his mouth by Brett’s ear. “Stay with me,” he moans. _ “Play with me, _ please…”

Brett slams his eyes tightly shut and rolls his lips back as he tries to find it within himself to say _ no. _ He needs to tell Aleks _ no, _ needs to tell him to behave and sit tight like a good boy for daddy but Aleks is so damn convincing.

So_ persuasive. _

Brett might be a stubborn motherfucker, but any traces of that man is carried away by the winds that Aleks’ pretty noises create.

_ Damnit. God. Fucking. Damnit. _

“Why are you so fucking hot?” Brett growls through his teeth. “Every fucking thing you do drives me crazy and I fucking hate it.”

Aleks’ head throws back with a cry as Brett tugs on his leash and Brett uses his other hand to snake it around Aleks’ back, manages to grab both of Aleks’ hands to pin them in his strong grip.

Brett digs his nails into Aleks’ wrists and moves forward to trail his tongue along Aleks’ collar. It dips underneath and the wetness sizzles on his warm neck and Aleks moans at the oddly pleasurable sensation. Brett bares his teeth and grazes them along the top line of the collar, upwards to Aleks’ jaw so he can mouth kisses along the bone, all the way to his ear.

“I was gonna get a dildo for you to fuck yourself,” Brett admits in a whisper. “Because it’s another night without lube for you, angel.”

“So I’ll fuck myself,” Aleks offers. “W-With my fingers. I’ll do it right now, j-just,” he breathes out a whine as his fingers curl and uncurl helplessly in Brett’s hands, “l-let me go and I’ll fuck myself so good for you.”

“Oh, will you now?”

“You know I would!” Aleks whines and bounces pathetically on Brett’s leg. “Please, daddy,_ please-” _

“Then let’s see it,” Brett relents as he lets go of Aleks’ leash and hands completely, only so he can maneuver Aleks fully onto his lap. “Put on a nice show for daddy.”

Aleks wraps an arm around Brett’s neck to pull himself against his body, chest against chest. He bites at his lip and peers upon Brett’s eyes as his other hand proceeds in a slow dance along his side before it cascades around to his back, dipping down to his ass and into the crack. A hot breath parts open his lips while he slides the first finger in, all the way to the knuckle, and his eyes slowly flutter shut as his head lulls back with an obscene moan.

“Beautiful,” Brett whispers. “My beautiful angel, I wish you could see yourself right now.”

“Do I look pretty, daddy?”

“The prettiest thing alive,” Brett tells him. “Daddy really doesn’t deserve you.”

“I don’t deserve _ you, _ daddy,” Aleks purrs as his eyes flutter back open to stare down at Brett.

“You deserve everything,” Brett whispers. “Now stop arguing with me and finger yourself.”

Aleks does a wonderful job at fingering himself too, almost as if he’s like, done it a whole lot before. Brett is enchanted with the expressions of pleasure that beautify Aleks’ face and his eyes have to circle the entirety of it just to properly drink him in. He knows that this is slightly exaggerated for his pleasure but it still works because Aleks is lowering himself into a slut completely dependent on Brett, _ for Brett, _and he’s never done that for anybody else.

Aleks will never do that for anyone else. Brett holds that honor, only he doesn’t think he deserves it. He doesn’t think he’s special enough for Aleks but they’re only fucking each other so it’s not exactly something worth discussing.

The second finger pushes inside and Aleks moves his mouth by Brett’s ear to moan into it, “I can’t wait for you to be inside me again, daddy.”

Brett decides that he should probably do something besides sit here. Aleks is being such a good boy, after all. He wraps his arm around Aleks’ waist and his other hand grabs ahold of his cock so he can smack it back and forth against Aleks’ ass with a groan.

“You feel that, angel?” Brett purrs against Aleks’ ear. “Feel how hard you’ve made me?”

Aleks gyrates his ass and purses his lips into a beautiful moan. “Yeah, daddy,” he breathes. “I want your hard cock to split me open.”

“Oh, it’s going to,” Brett assures with a low chuckle. He licks along his lips and hisses in pleasure as he rubs the head of his cock along Aleks’ ass, lets it graze against his fingers. “You better be prepared for it.”

“I’m gonna need a bit more to prepare myself for how_ thick _ you are,” Aleks whispers.

As Brett pushes his cock against Aleks’ fingers, he feels a third finger moving around, preparing itself to go in. However, Brett still thinks he should do a bit more with the precious angel perched so prettily on his lap.

“Let daddy help you out,” Brett offers in a whisper of his own as he lets go of his cock to slide one finger alongside the two already in Aleks, and he grins hugely at the low, long _ “fuck!” _that falls from Aleks’ lips.

Brett’s finger moving around reminds Aleks what he is, what he needs to be for him, and he gives a mewl as their fingers work together in opening him up.

“You’re such a good daddy,” Aleks praises. “I’m so lucky that you get to fuck me_ all night.” _

“Gonna fuck you so good you’re not gonna fucking walk tomorrow, angel,” Brett breathes. The arm around Aleks’ waist moves enough so he can give Aleks’ a good spank and he gives a low, almost evil sounding chuckle when Aleks cries out.

“More!” Aleks pleads. “More, daddy!”

_ Spank. _

“Yes,_ yes, _just one more, pretty please-”

** _Spank._ **

“Thank you, _ thank you,” _Aleks whines. “I need another finger, daddy-”

“I’m already there for you, angel.”

Brett pushes in another finger to be equal with Aleks and after that, it turns into a race to open Aleks up enough to take him. More dirty words are shared between the two, even a few quick kisses here and there, but they want to save the real fun for when Brett is finally inside him, because they’re gonna have hours to do that.

Christ, he’s actually going to fuck Aleks all night.

_ All night. All. Fucking. Night. _

It’s exactly what Aleks told him in his office earlier. It’s a piece of information that hasn’t left Brett’s mind since but now it’s finally dawning on him that he gets to _ fuck Aleks all night without stopping. _

He gets to be inside Aleks for hours. He doesn’t know many hours, it could be 1 or 2 but even 1 is enough. For a man that never thought he’d get to fuck Aleks in any sort of capacity, a development like this is completely out of this world. Brett still has a hard time believing it and he still thinks that any minute now, he’ll wake up alone in his bed, Aleks will be in his, and they’ll be just regular friends and if he really is asleep, then nobody better wake him up.

Aleks pulls away from Brett’s lips and his fingers slow down to a halt as he moans out, “fuck me, please!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m so sure, daddy, please!” Aleks pleads.

“Lay down and spread your legs like a good boy then.” Brett pulls out his fingers to give Aleks one more spank. “Go.”

Brett watches Aleks crawl off his lap with a sense of urgency as he makes his way to the headboard. Aleks turns over onto his back, adjusts the leash so it’ll lay over the middle of his body, and he rests his hands by the sides of his head .

While Aleks spreads his legs, Brett throws off his suit blazer onto the pile of clothes before he crawls in between his legs. He looks down at Aleks’ face, the collar that adorns his neck, and then the rest of his naked body. Brett’s hands raise up to splay out over Aleks’ chest and they roam down Aleks’ body as a moan falls from Brett’s lips.

“Mine,” Brett breathes out. “I can’t fucking believe this is mine.”

“I’m yours, daddy,” Aleks assures him in a moan. “Now fuck your pretty angel.”

“I’m getting to it,” Brett says. “I just need to take you in… every single beautiful part of you.”

_ All of you. _

Brett doesn’t have all the time tonight to fully cherish Aleks’ body, that time is reserved for fucking the daylights out of him, but he can allow himself the few minutes right now. His eyes and hands will work as the appraisers on this fine piece of art.

Brett’s hands press into Aleks’ sides and his thumbs rub gentle circles along his hipbones. His sides are pudgy and soft, easily grabbable, just like the rest of him. He doesn’t wanna admit it but Aleks actually has gained a few pounds but that’s just it - a few. It’s not even noticeable and the only reason Brett notices is because he’s so hyper aware of Aleks’ body and he’s had to become hyper aware because when this thing eventually ends, and it will, he wants to remember everything about Aleks.

Loving hands trail back up his sides, over his chest for his thumbs to delicately swipe back and forth along his perky nipples. His pecs are a tiny bit more full now then they were the first time they fucked but that just means more for Brett to (possibly) love. Not that he loves Aleks, not like _ that, _but anyways, Aleks has a beautiful chest and those unique tattoos add to it.

His hands move to the center on top of one another and roam upwards to Aleks’ neck over his collar. Aleks closes his eyes with a soft whine when Brett gently grabs his throat but he doesn’t choke, doesn’t squeeze, just rests his hands. When Aleks’ eyes lid open, Brett stares down into the dark brown color of them and Aleks gazes upon his own.

“I’m yours,” Aleks whispers. “You can do whatever you want to me, Brett. _ Always.” _

Brett’s eyes flicker to Aleks’ lips and his tongue slides out to lick along his own.

_ He’s mine. _

“Take me, Brett,” Aleks breathes out on the edge of a whine. “Don’t stop until you take all of me.”

_ He’s really mine. All mine. _

The leash and collar was the main attraction of this game but now?

It’s Aleks.

Brett takes his hands off Aleks’ throat and he wraps an arm around Aleks’ neck, uses that hand to hold the back of his hair, as he dips down to capture Aleks’ lips in a passionately heated kiss.

_ Mine. Mine. Mine, mine, mine. _

Aleks moans into Brett’s mouth and holds onto the sides of his face. His legs bend back to press against Brett’s sides and his ankles cross behind Brett’s back to trap him but Brett doesn’t feel trapped at all - how could he ever be trapped by Aleks?

The kiss is urgent on both ends, like they only have so much time with each other. It’s not totally clean, it’s actually a bit sloppy, but they’re not trying for perfection here. They don’t need to try for perfection with each other. Their tongues can slide out of the other’s mouths, they can awkwardly bump against each other, they can miss the other’s lips, but that’s totally okay as long as they’re getting something from each other.

Even with these perceived missteps, the rhythm is perfect for them. It wouldn’t be for anybody else but for Brett and Aleks?

_ Flawless. _

They press in hard and pull away enough so they can steal pecks from the other, over and over again as hot breaths ghosts over the other’s lips in between. As this goes on, Brett uses his free hand to grab ahold of his thickness so he can line it up with Aleks’ entrance and after trying to search for it, the head finally catches onto the rim.

Brett groans his approval against Aleks’ mouth before he presses their foreheads together. “Look at daddy when he fills you up,” he demands in a quick breath. “Okay? Can you do that for him, angel?”

“Yes, daddy, _ yes,” _ Aleks whines and holds onto the nape of his neck with one hand while the other holds one of his cheeks. “Give it all to me, Brett, _ please.” _

“Good boy,” Brett breathes as he looks into Aleks’ eyes. “Look at me, pretty angel, look at me… oh fuck,” he groans as he pushes the head inside. “Fuck, there we go. Good boy, just like that.”

Aleks gasps and it increases into that amazing mewl that grows louder in volume with each inch that continues to press inside and not once, does he tears his gaze away from Brett. “Daddy…” he moans. “Oh, daddy…”

“I’m your daddy, that’s right.” Brett nods and moans. “Keep going.”

Aleks’ mouth widens entirely when Brett is fully sheathed inside him and a loud cry breaks through into the open. “Fuck!” he cries out. “Oh god,_ fuck me,” _ he whines. “Please, _ please-” _

“You can fuck yourself,” Brett tells him as he wraps his arms around Aleks to turn them over. “And do it until you come. After that, daddy’s gonna take over the whole night, you won’t have to do a thing but lie there and take it, angel.” He spanks Aleks’ ass with both hands. “Up,” he says in a firm voice that leaves no room for argument.

If Brett wasn’t so aching hard, so desperate to fuck Aleks into the night, he’d laugh at how quick Aleks sits up on his body. Instead, he watches on in lust dripped stupefaction as Aleks steadies his hands on his chest before he begins to furiously rock his hips back and forth on his length.

“Jesus christ,” Brett groans and holds onto Aleks’ hips to help guide him but fuck, it looks like Aleks has it under control. He rides Brett like a fucking pornstar in the biggest scene of their career, even sounds like one too. “Yeah, you ride that fucking cock, baby.”

Brett is trying to formulate a concoction of words to describe the beauty on top of him but this sort of beauty can only be experienced. Finding the words to describe it… it’d just be pathetic, as pathetic as the noises that descend from Aleks’ lips but nowhere near as pretty. Even those noises are beautiful in their own way, because Brett finds everything of Aleks’ beautiful. 

There’s this saying: you are stardust. Brett, of course, thinks it’s bullshit.

They’re not fucking stars. They’re fucking people!

But then he looks at Aleks, riding the hell out of his cock, moaning every damn second, and Brett thinks it has some merit. He can completely believe that Aleks is made of star remnants, made of cosmic fragments of infinite proportions, because how else can Brett be so enraptured by him?

It’s the only way to explain it. Aleks is an interstellar beauty. He’s an interstellar beauty that Brett has managed to ensnare and make his.

_ His. _ Fuck, Aleks is _ his. _

He is Brett’s and Brett is _ Aleks’ _ and as Aleks fucks himself, as he reminds Brett why Brett keeps coming back to him and why he keeps coming back to _ Brett, _ it’s all Brett can think about. Granted, Aleks isn’t totally his but who the fuck cares right now? When they have sex and partake in these games, Brett can play make believe.

So yes, Aleks is his. He will always be his. He is stardust, apparently, but more importantly - he’s Brett’s.

_ Aleks is mine. Mine, mine, _ ** _mine._ **


	15. The Binds Of Time And Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett gives Aleks some much needed aftercare and they also have a much needed (and unexpected) conversation about how close they've been getting.

Time and space are phenomena often correlated with each other in the branches of philosophy. What should be simple constructs are heavily analyzed and debated over, in numerous ways.

How they exist is debated - whether they exist independently of the mind or independently of one another.

Time is even questioned whether it exists besides the present moment, that maybe there is no past or future, only the present. Even in the present, these concepts cease to be. They aren’t priorities. They are background statistics with no meaningful value.

Aleks isn’t sure how long they’ve been having sex. Could be an hour, or hours, or hours_ upon _ hours, but he doesn’t care. Time, right now, ceases to be. All Aleks knows is that he doesn’t ever want this to stop.

He’s came so much that at this point, nothing comes out. It’s only a release of pleasure. Some orgasms are stronger than others but fuck, Aleks doesn’t care about that either. He cares about Brett constantly being inside him, in many different positions - whether it’s with his fingers, his tongue, or best of all, his cock. The stream of orgasms Brett gives him is just a bonus.

Aleks’ mind wants him to stay on his hands and knees like he is right now as Brett hammers into him from behind. Brett has become a fan of the collar overtime and he has Aleks’ head tugged back by the leash, his other hand grabbing one of Aleks’ hips in a bruising grip as he slams, over and over.

However, the body and mind sometimes clash. Aleks’ body wants him to put all of this to a stop. Aleks’ legs are trembling and they have been for awhile whenever he’s forced onto his knees and the pain in his ass from the relentless pounding grows heavier each time they go back at it. His body is using every ounce of strength it currently has to hold on, until he comes one more time, but with how damn sensitive Aleks is at this point, it doesn’t look to be too far off.

Brett harshly spanks Aleks and it forces a sobbing noise out of his mouth. It’s actually quite pretty, so Brett spanks him again, and one more time, each sob increasing in volume.

“Da… daddy!” Aleks gasps and lids his eyes open, the tears steadily streaming down his cheeks. _ “Fuck me, _ I’m… I…” Aleks slams his eyes shut again with a whine and the whines continue with each thrust.

“Use your words, angel,” Brett tells Aleks as his eyes burn into the back of his head. “I know I’m fucking you stupid but there’s still gotta be something left in there.”

Aleks grits his teeth together and drags his nails along the comforter for purchase. “Come…” he breathes. “Need to… c-come. Come, daddy, I-”

“Close again, huh?” Brett lets go of Aleks’ leash and brings the both of his hands to Aleks’ shoulders to force his upper body into the bed. Nails crush his shoulders in their grip as he drives back into him full force and Brett has to sit up on one knee, firmly press his other foot into the bed, just to keep his body steady enough for these thrusts.

“Yes, yes, _ yes!” _ Aleks shouts in pleasure. “Daddy! Daddy!!”

“Come for daddy,” Brett says. “Right now.”

Aleks presses his forehead into the comforter and his mouth widens open as the pleasure wracks through him once again. A wretched whine cracks through and the breaths he releases afterwards almost heighten into pitiful whimpers with how sensitive he is from all the fucking.

It’s another dry orgasm, pure pleasure and no load to speak of. It’s the end of Aleks’ pleasure for that moment and although Brett’s thrusts have slowed considerably, he’s still fucking him. Preferably, Aleks would love to fuck well into the morning but he has a moment of clarity, in the afterglow of his orgasm, that his ass will thank him if he stops it all now.

He really doesn’t want to, but he has to.

Aleks takes a deep breath, a really deep one, and clears his throat. “Red,” he speaks clearly.

Brett stops in an instant.

“I don’t…” Aleks coughs. “I don’t know how much more I can take, Brett. How close are you?”

“I mean, I’ve been close this whole time,” Brett admits in a humorless chuckle. “I was waiting for you to tell me when to stop.”

“How long will it take you to come?”

“When I take off the ring, I dunno, like a fucking minute or two? It’s honestly the only thing holding me back.”

Aleks nods and runs a hand back through his hair. “I want you to come in me,” Aleks tells him. “After that… fuck, I’m worn out,” he chuckles. “Is that okay?”

“You’re the one who really calls the shots here,” Brett reminds him as he very slowly pulls out. “Can you roll over for me?”

Aleks rolls onto his back and peers up at Brett, watches Brett take off the ring before he throws his legs over his thick thighs. He takes a few breaths to prepare himself for Brett again but even with that preparation, it still fucking hurts when Brett slides back inside. He hisses in pain and reaches his hands up to grab Brett’s arms, nails pressing into his skin in an attempt to divert the pain.

Good thing he’s a slut for being full.

“We okay?” Brett asks as he settles inside, gently rocking in and out.

“Yeah, just fuck me,” Aleks breathes. “And come in me.”

“Can I feed it to you afterwards?”

Aleks’ lips press together in a grimace and he looks the other way. “Ah…” he sighs. “Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks for the heads up.”

When Brett originally suggested it, he might’ve reasoned its cause to Aleks but it doesn’t mean Aleks is turned on by it. He’s doing it for Brett’s sake and he knows Brett would do the same for him. It’s not like Brett is asking to come on his face either… eh, maybe Aleks would give into that. After like, a few discussions.

A few_ million _ discussions, but Brett has a way to him.

Brett rocks his hips in and out of Aleks for a little over a minute until he fully unloads in him… fuck, Aleks wonders when it’s going to end. Brett was right in that it wouldn’t take long to come but how fucking long until the last drop? At the very least, he gets to stare at Brett in his state of bliss.

It’s the most Brett has ever filled him too. Aleks just wishes his ass wasn’t broken so he could fully appreciate it.

Brett’s lips are permanently parted open for moans and groans to escape. His eyes have screwed tightly shut to focus solely on his pleasure and his cheeks are flushed, his Adam’s apple constantly bobs, and it really is a sight to behold. It’s totally worth the extra pain in Aleks’ ass.

When Brett finally finishes, he stills in Aleks for a few seconds to make sure and then he slowly pulls out. He lowers his chest to the bed and spreads apart Aleks’ asscheeks, watching for his load to leak back out and when it does, Brett eagerly gathers it up with his tongue.

Aleks moans at the wetness upon his hole and after all that fucking, it’s a sensation he welcomes. His hands move to rest on top of Brett’s head and he looks down the length of his body to see Brett’s head moving back and forth. Brett’s beard kind of scratches his ass too and it’s a lovely little reminder to Aleks of _ who _ exactly he’s with right now.

Lips press together in a thin line as Brett sits up on his knees. It’s gonna happen, Aleks knows it, he can’t hold himself back, but he knows Brett will love it, just like he’s loved everything they’ve done so far.

Brett tugs Aleks up to his knees by the collar and Aleks scoots forward to him. His mouth opens up with some trepidation but Brett’s tongue is quick to shove itself inside, the mess easily being transferred into Aleks’ mouth.

_ Fuck, that was in my ass just now, _ ** _that was in my fucking ass, _ ** _ how can Brett like this? _

They kiss for about a minute but Aleks lets Brett be the dominator in that because uh, he’s not feeling too up for moving this mess around anymore than he already has. Surprisingly, it doesn’t taste bad like he thought but it doesn’t mean he’s anymore accepting of it.

Brett detaches their mouths and holds up Aleks’ head by his chin. “Open your mouth,” he orders. “Lift up your tongue and show me the mess.”

Aleks closes his eyes and his lips widen open. His tongue lifts up to touch the roof of his mouth, exposing the white mess pooling behind his teeth in the process.

“That’s a good boy,” Brett praises as he forces Aleks’ mouth closed by his chin. “Swallow.”

He swallows it down and coughs immediately afterwards. Aleks sticks his tongue out to exaggerate his disgust and he shakes his head. “I really fucking hope that turned you on,” Aleks says. “Pervert.”

Brett chuckles and nods. “It definitely did. Being a pervert is fun sometimes.”

Aleks shakes his head and backs up to the headboard. “I’m gonna come on your face one day,” Aleks tells him. “I’ll get even.”

“Jokes on you, I’d be into that,” Brett says as he follows after. “Stop running away from me, I need to take off your collar.”

Settling on his knees, Aleks asks, “speaking of collars, did you like it? I mean, did you like playing with it and the leash?”

Brett’s the one that bought the collar and leash in the first place so it should be obvious he likes playing with it. Aleks knows he likes it, but he still wants the reminders that Brett likes doing anything with him.

“I sort of lost track of the original objective in the beginning but after I got the hang of it?” Brett nods. “That was the hottest stuff we’ve ever done by far.”

He reaches his hands around to the back of Aleks’ neck and takes delicate care in undoing his collar before gingerly setting it aside on the nightstand. Gentle hands press at Aleks’ neck, specifically over his hickies, to assess the damage. “Not as many marks as last time,” Brett notices. “Good to know I’ve gotten better at that.”

“Your neck is still spotless,” Aleks mentions. “Am I allowed to mark you up when we do shit like this?”

“Guess we should’ve established that, huh?” Brett sits back and takes a hand off Aleks’ neck to rub at his own, thumb grazing back and forth along his throat. “Absolutely you are. Even if you’re acting like daddy’s sexy little slut, which you do a great job at, so fucking great, we’re equals. You said it yourself.”

Aleks smiles and looks over to Brett’s inviting neck. “We are,” Aleks assures softly. “I should’ve known, I just… wanted to be sure you were comfortable with it.”

_ Comfortable with me. _

“Fun fact - the more you mark me, the happier I am,” Brett reveals. “And it’s never too late, angel...” He raises his eyebrows and looks down before he closes his eyes. “If you wanna mark daddy - mmm…”

Aleks is now straddling Brett’s lap, hands clutching onto his tie, as he alternates between kissing and marking up his neck. Considering Brett was more gentle with his neck this time around, Aleks is going to return it in the same manner. As fun as it is to have a completely marked neck, it’s a bitch to cover up.

If they were dating, for instance, it wouldn’t have to be covered - not too much.

“Good boy,” Brett moans. “Feels good to mark daddy like he’s marked you, huh?”

Aleks’ mouth drops along Brett’s neck to press against Brett’s throat, sucking the skin but not hard enough to leave a mark. The fingers that stroke through his hair serve as a motivator for Aleks to slide out his tongue, has it press flat against Brett’s throat. It leaves a slow, wet trail upwards, along his chin, and then he pokes it inside Brett’s mouth to claim him. Soft and tender is how it’s done, and much needed with all the roughness of tonight.

Aleks pulls away to kiss the corner of Brett’s mouth and then he whispers against his lips, “I’m yours. And you’re mine.”

“I’ve always been yours,” Brett reminds him in a whisper of his own. “I’m gonna tell you right now, that’s never going to change.”

Aleks could say the same thing if he didn’t think Brett would see the romantic context behind it, because it’s the only way he could say it.

This thing of theirs will end but Brett will have forever claimed his body and soul - maybe not the entirety but certain parts of him will always be Brett’s. They’re only about a month and a half in but Aleks knows he’s in pretty far, far enough that he could proclaim this with absolute confidence.

That’s what Aleks would mean by saying it, so… what does Brett mean when he says it?

Aleks rolls his lips back with a hum when Brett’s hands begin to massage his asscheeks and he drops his face against Brett’s neck. “Feels good,” he murmurs.

“I bet,” Brett says quietly. “How does your ass feel right now?”

Along with a chuckle, Aleks tells him that, “it’s the most sore it’s been in awhile. But I fucking love it.”

It’ll probably be a few days before Brett can fuck him again. It’s sad. Tragic, really, but Aleks entered this night with that knowledge.

Brett quirks a grin and nods. “Well, I’m glad there’s some good coming from it,” he says as he lets go of Aleks’ ass to grab the sides of his face. Brett coaxes Aleks’ head up so he can look him in the eyes and he asks, “will you be fine by yourself while I go and grab some lotion for you? It’s just in the bathroom-”

Aleks cuts him off with a scoff. “Yeah, dude, of course,” he chuckles while climbing off Brett’s lap. “I’m fine without being by your side 24/7.”

“I-I know!” Brett stammers out. “You just like, really didn’t want me to leave you earlier,” he points out as he climbs off the bed.

“Ah.” Aleks wags his finger back and forth at Brett. “That. I was just wanting to see what you would do. Didn’t know if you were gonna punish me or give in.”

Brett’s reaction was absolutely worth acting like a dependent bitch. Aleks was actually hoping Brett would’ve forced patience into him but for Brett to hold him hostage on his lap? Have Aleks finger himself? Finger Aleks while Aleks fingers _ himself? _That was so much better than Aleks could’ve anticipated! He should throw tantrums like that more often!

He had no idea how fun being submissive could be. There’s a strange sense of power that comes with it, far different than the power that comes with being a dom. It’s a subtle knowledge, an underlying element that can strike and change the scenario whenever it wants. Brett was simply a pawn in Aleks’ secret game, a guide to the main event.

“Allllleks!” Brett whines right as he opens the bathroom door. “You know I always give in!”

“The option to punish me is always there though. You’re allowed to put me in my place, you do it at the office-”

“But that’s the office,” Brett sighs. “Every other part of my life? It’s hard to say no to you, especially when you’re fucking…” He presses his lips together and shakes his head as he kneels down to open the counter doors. “Fucking clinging to me, begging me to stay and _play with you_ with the saddest fucking look on your cute fucking face, _ ‘ooh, look at me, I’m Aleks’. _ ” Brett proceeds to mock Aleks... somehow affectionately, all while he searches for a specific lotion. _ “I’m so cute, I’m so hot. Brett would do anything for me. I’m gonna make him feel bad. I’m Aleks.” _

Aleks smiles brightly as he watches Brett in the doorway from his place on the bed and he has to laugh, both at his dramatics and dorkiness. Even after effortlessly dominating Aleks in a fancy looking suit, after cementing himself as everything Aleks envisions a daddy dom would be, he’s still Brett.

What exactly is Brett anyways? What makes Brett,_ Brett, _ the man that Aleks crushes on so heavily and always has?

Well, Brett is incredibly sweet, passionate, and loyal. That’s just three of many positive qualities.

And he’s also incredibly petty, stubborn, and defensive.

That too, is just three - three out of a relatively few amount of negative qualities. They might be apparent to some people more than others but to Aleks, it’s just how Brett is. They shape Brett into the amazingly complex man that he is - thus, the man that has stolen Aleks’ heart.

“Breeett, come on, man, don’t get salty,” Aleks tells him as he sits up on his knees. “Think about it this way… I wouldn’t have begged anybody else to stay like that.” He raises a knowing eyebrow. “I wouldn’t let anybody catch me dead doing that shit, dude.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love being that exception,” Brett assures as he stands up straight with the lotion in hand. “But also, like, I wish I could be more resilient with you,” he chuckles. “I look like a big, strong man but I don’t feel like it sometimes.”

_ We need to talk about that. _

Aleks’ gaze dips down to Brett’s dick, flopping about despite the fact he still has clothes on. He bites at his lip and looks up to Brett before his teeth grit together. “Probably not a good time to tell you that your dick is just hanging out then.”

Brett looks down and then he rolls his eyes up at the ceiling with a groan, quickly reaching down to tuck himself back in. “See what I mean?” he sighs as he climbs back onto the bed.

“Awww, I don’t see you as anything less than a big, strong man.” Aleks rests a hand on Brett’s shoulder and rubs it up and down his arm soothingly as a grin graces his face. “You’re _ my _ big, strong man, daddy.”

Squeezing the lotion into his hands, Brett smiles and even gives a genuine chuckle. “Thank you,” he says softly. “I needed that.” He looks over to Aleks and then down at the bed. “Lie on your stomach so daddy can make you better like you just did for him.”

With a hum, Aleks moves to lie on his stomach and he says in the sweetest tone, “yes, daddy”, while he crosses his arms under his chin.

His cheeks are kneaded by masterful, loving hands and Aleks sighs in total relief. The aroma eventually wafts along his nose and Aleks takes a whiff… and a few more. His eyes lid open and his eyebrows inquisitively squint together as he tries to pinpoint what exactly makes up this stimulating blend, but it’s just as easy as asking Brett, “what are you using on me?”

“Your favorite...” Brett murmurs before he leans over Aleks to whisper the answer in his ear; “cinnamon vanilla.”

The corners of Aleks’ lips turn up wide and he turns his head slightly, actually giggles when Brett kisses his cheek. “Cause it reminds me of you,” he admits quietly.

“S’why I’m using it,” Brett reveals. “Gonna start a bath for you too after this, and I got cinnamon vanilla soap too so you’re in for a real good night.”

“Thank you, daddy.”

“Anything for you, angel.”

Cinnamon vanilla, the trademark scent of home. It’s why Aleks favors wearing Brett’s shirts over his own, though they’re starting to lose Brett’s smell. He should steal Brett’s cologne, or figure out what exact brand of cinnamon vanilla it is and spray it all over… do it to his own clothes too. Would that be creepy of him to do? He just wants his senses to drown in Brett all the time, there’s no harm in that!

… maybe he is a little bit dependent on Brett. He still doesn’t wanna be by Brett 24/7 though. Aleks just… he likes knowing Brett is there. If anything goes wrong, Brett isn’t too far away to wrap a veil of safety around Aleks, also known as his big, strong arms.

Brett massages Aleks’ ass for a few minutes and although it’s the point of interest, he wants to show care for the rest of Aleks’ body. His hands run up and down his back, in soothing motions, before they press into his shoulders to squander all of that tension. By the time he’s done with his duties as an impromptu masseuse, he leans back down to kiss Aleks’ cheek and then he climbs off the bed.

“Can you walk?” Brett asks, watching Aleks intently.

Aleks brings up a hand to rub at the back of his neck as he throws his legs over the edge of the bed. “Let’s find out…”

Brett’s eyes widen when Aleks begins to fold into the ground but he’s quick to scoop him up and place him back on the edge of the bed before he actually hurts himself. “How about I just carry you inside, huh?”

“I… yeah, okay,” Aleks mumbles as he wraps his arms around Brett’s neck. “You fucked me for like, a million hours, I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“Ah, it was only…” Brett looks over to the clock and he whistles when he sees the time. “Wow!” he exclaims as he picks Aleks up to hold him against his chest. “That was definitely a good few hours. Well, _ great _ few hours, I should say.”

“We should do this more often.” Aleks waggles his eyebrows. “Maybe next time, you’ll be the one to get fucked all night.”

Brett snorts. “Let’s fuck me _ one _ time _ one _ night and see how I feel after that. If it’s anything like the first time you did butt stuff with me though, I’m down.”

“You’re gonna be a total buttslut by the time I’m done with you.”

“Don’t ever call me that again.”

“Buttslut.”

“Come dumpster.”

“Come guzzling gutter slut.”

“Twink… ow!”

Aleks grins triumphantly. “That’ll teach you.”

“Shut up,” Brett tells Aleks as he sets him down on the bathroom counter. “You’re annoying.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re a low rent Ellen DeGeneres.”

Aleks gasps and widens his eyes. “Brett Hundley!” he exclaims in disbelief as he watches Brett start the tub. “Words hurt!”

“Not as much as my thick dick.” Brett cackles maniacally and turns the knob to the hot side before he stands back up.

Aleks crosses his arms over his chest and turns his head the opposite way in a defiant manner. He refuses to acknowledge this clearly deranged man but the deranged man in question is set on making Aleks accept his presence again.

“Ohhh, Aleks…” Brett says.

_ No. _

“Aleksaaandr…” Brett hops on over to the counter.

_ Nope. _

Brett huffs through his nose and quirks a grin as his hands raise to Aleks’ sides, his fingers gently digging in. “So this is how my_ precious angel _ is gonna act?”

Raising his eyebrows, Aleks glances over to Brett and shrugs before he continues to ignore him.

Brett just purses his lips and nods. “Okay. If that’s how you feel…” He smacks his lips together and watches Aleks with heavy focus, his tongue swiping out along the smirk painted on his lips. “But you can’t ignore this!”

Aleks begin to laugh loudly and wildly as Brett proceeds to tickle him and his hands bat all over the place in an effort to heed his dastardly tactics. “Duuude, stop!” he laughs. “You can’t-”

“Can’t what?” Brett laughs. “Go on, use your words!”

“Breeett, please!” Aleks whines in the midst of his near endless laughter.

“Nooope!”

Aleks might not be able to tell Brett to stop right now but his hands are free to roam and do as they please. Brett seems very focused on getting back at Aleks for (rightfully!) ignoring him so he probably isn’t noticing where Aleks’ hands are…

He screws his eyes tightly shut, squirming around seemingly helplessly in Brett’s hands before his own suddenly reach out to tickle under Brett’s armpits.

A loud gasp, followed by laughter, leaves Brett’s mouth and he tries to squirm away from Aleks while still trying his best to tickle him, Aleks doing the exact same thing he is.

This whole damn scene is childish and juvenile. They’re both grown men, engaged in a tickle fight for the ages, as they wait to take a bath with each other… but it’s also incredibly pure and innocent. Just two men, having some friendly fun with each other, laughing like it’s the funniest thing in the world while the concepts of time and space cease to exist both in and out of mind.

Eventually, the tickle fight ends in a draw.

Aleks and Brett’s laughter die down into chuckles, hands stilling in various parts of the body - Aleks’ on Brett’s arms, Brett’s on Aleks’ hips. They look up into each other’s eyes, still chuckling away, but then it slowly descends into serene silence the more they stare, the more they admire.

Aleks blinks a few times and rolls his lips back, glances down to Brett’s own lips before he makes eye contact with him. He catches Brett’s eyes at the last second moving up, an indicator that Brett was looking at his lips as well, probably looking to do the same thing Aleks does.

Sounds of rushing water can be heard faintly in the background but the loudest sound is that of their breaths, in and out, and what would be a quiet lick of the tongue along lips if they weren’t so damn close, so damn into each other.

Aleks’ breathing slows down, though his heart rate increases. The air in the room is hot and heavy. Suffocating, almost, but… in a good way? Aleks wants to breathe in more of it, wants to choke on it and cling tight as he expels his last breath in front of the man that literally has his entire being held in his hands, strong hands that could easily choke Aleks, end his life, but instead, they hold him. They care for him, they reassure him, they keep Aleks tethered to this reality, this present in which they are.

Brett’s hands slip around to the small of Aleks’ back and he fully steps in between Aleks’ legs, pulls Aleks flush against his body as their foreheads press together. Hot breaths burn each other’s lips but despite that, they want more, they want to completely wither away into dust with each other.

A hand reaches up to Brett’s cheek, a thumb gliding back and forth against his beard. “Kiss me,” Aleks whispers.

“I kiss you right now and I’m not gonna stop,” Brett admits.

“Just one?” Aleks turns his head and brushes his lips over Brett’s, tilts his head upwards with a small noise that sort of borders on a moan.

Brett bites down hard on his lips and closes his eyes, shakes his head. “Believe it or not, there’s a lot more I wanna do with you besides kissing.”

“Like?” Aleks raises his eyebrows and looks to Brett’s lips, licks along his own.

“Like bathe with you… and kiss you there,” Brett chuckles and gradually, little by little, slides his hands off Aleks’ back so he can turn to the tub. “Fuck, you’re gonna get me hard again.”

With a huff through his nose, Aleks looks over to see Brett turning off the water. “It’s that easy to get you hard?”

“It’s easy for_ you _ to get me hard,” Brett clarifies as he grabs the cinnamon vanilla bath soap, opens the cap to pour it into the water.

“Have I ever made you hard at work?” Aleks asks.

Brett brings his hands up to undo his suit vest, the first step in undoing the rest of his clothes. “Hate to admit it but yeah, quite a few times,” he answers.

“Humor me.”

“Have I ever got you hard at work?”

“Uh, duh-”

“You first.”

“Fine. Seeing you in that suit.”

“What an easy answer,” Brett scoffs and completely undoes his shirt, drops it to the ground on top his suit vest. “A hot guy in a suit turns anybody on.”

“So you admit you’re hot?”

“I said that through your point of view. You think I’m hot, I’m the current subject, so it makes sense to keep calling the subject-”

“Don’t go English teacher on…” Aleks furrows his eyebrows and sits up on the counter with a grin. “Actually,_ Mr. Hundley _, do tell me more.”

Brett throws his head back in laughter as he steps out of his pants to be naked. “I’ll add that to the list of things we can do with each other.” He walks over to the closet. “Hot student/teacher roleplay, coming right up.”

“I’ll get the schoolgirl outfit ready.”

Aleks eyes widen when Brett seems to choke on his own saliva, holds his hands up to brace himself on the closet shelves. “Uh… kidding?”

“No, that’s not…” Brett clears his throat and shakes his head. “Wowie! Um.” He coughs again and shakes his head (again!) as he grabs the towels. “That’s uh. That is an interesting image, for sure.”

Aleks’ eyes shift back and forth before he ultimately decides that Brett’s just weird sometimes, and then he hops off the counter.

_ I love him for it though. _

“Anyways,” Aleks says as he brings a hand down to feel at his thighs to make sure his legs won’t give out all of a sudden, “let’s get this party going.”

“Bathing with a hot blonde!” Brett sets the towels on the counter. “It’s my dream come true!”

“Bet you thought that blonde would have boobs and a pussy.”

“I mean, yeah, but you’re a lot better.”

He does this sometimes, make small comments that have Aleks wondering if there’s a bigger meaning behind it. It’s silly because he_ obviously _doesn’t like Aleks…

… except it actually _ isn’t _ obvious.

Aleks just doesn’t wanna get his hopes up. He doesn’t want to wonder if Brett really does consider him better than a fantasy he’s had. He does that and he’ll downspiral into a pit that he won’t ever come out of and Aleks wants to keep things normal between them - as normal as things can considering they fuck a lot, go on dates, and flirt, all while being “best friends”.

Aleks smiles and scratches at his heated cheek as he watches Brett take the first step into the tub. “How does it feel?”

“Hot. Just the way I like it.” Brett sighs with relief as he settles down against the back of the tub and he spreads his legs, holds his arms out to lay over the thresholds. “Got a seat with your name on it, right here for ya.”

“Had a fun time sitting there earlier.” Aleks winks at Brett as he climbs in to sit in the tub before he scoots all the way against Brett, his back to Brett’s chest.

The water is scalding but in a way that it burns away any sores or aches. Cinnamon vanilla is the only recognizable scent now that Aleks is at the very core of it and all of these aphrodisiacs help to put Aleks at ease, but Brett’s presence behind him does the best job in accomplishing that.

Brett breathes in deeply and rests his head against the wall. “You and me both,” he says quietly, like it’s an afterthought - and it is. “Hey, I wanna tell you something.”

“Hey, you can tell me anything.”

“So… you wanna know what really puts me at ease?” Brett asks. “The tub is great and all but there’s something that does a better job.”

“Hmm? Wanna do that instead?”

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose. “I’m about to,” he whispers as his arms wrap around Aleks’ chest from the front. He drops his head to start kissing along his upper back, trails these kisses along Aleks’ shoulder and up his neck. “It puts me at ease to know that you’re here with me,” he murmurs. “Knowing that you’re safe in my arms.”

He does this sometimes too, make medium sized comments that have Aleks wondering the bigger meaning but Aleks also has to put that thought behind him. Brett’s just sentimental, a lot, and so is Aleks - that’s what he’d say if Brett ever asks.

Aleks brings his hands up to hold onto Brett’s arms and he fully relaxes against his body. “Honestly? I feel safest here too,” he admits quietly.

Ultimately, Aleks shares the sentiments with every sized comment Brett makes about him. Brett likes knowing Aleks is safe in his arms? Aleks likes that knowledge too - a lot. A bit too much, actually. It’s getting to the point where he wishes he could fall asleep in Brett’s arms every night, regardless of whether they have sex or not because he just wants to be held by him, protected from all of life’s many stressors.

“Same here,” Brett shares. “It might be weird, to feel safe holding onto someone but… I don’t know. You’re like, a security blanket, I guess,” he chuckles and looks ahead at the wall. “All I gotta do is hold onto you and just like that…” Brett shrugs and closes his eyes as a tranquil smile graces his face. “Just like that, everything is alright,” he whispers. “I don’t have to worry about anything, or fear anything. No thoughts about the past or the future, I can just think about the right here, right now. And right here, right now… it’s with you.”

He does this quite a bit too, make** big** comments that have Aleks wondering the bigger meaning and in these times, Aleks struggles to put away these thoughts.

He knows he should but those are things that best friends simply do not tell each other. It teeters on the line between romance and friendship but it eers towards the side of romantic. Aleks isn’t oblivious, he knows deep down that they’re… _ close. _

Aleks likes these comments, but then he doesn’t. If Brett really likes him… it wouldn’t matter. He said it himself that a relationship with somebody in the workplace is a personal preference of his that he detests.

So it’s a struggle to put away these thoughts, but Aleks has to. All he can do right now is keep the train on this discussion going.

_ “I look like a big strong man, but I don’t feel like it sometimes.” _

That’s what Brett said minutes earlier and these words project to the forefront of Aleks’ mind, begs him to acknowledge it so he can work on reassuring Brett that he _ is _ a big, strong man, that he _ is _ making something of himself and doing fine in this exhausting simulation of life.

“Earlier, you said that you didn’t feel like a big, strong man sometimes,” Aleks says. “Do you feel like one around me, at least?”

Brett bites at his lips as his eyes open again. “I wanna feel like that all the time around you,” he answers. “But I don’t, not all the time.”

Aleks asks, “why is that?”, as he rests his head back against Brett’s shoulder, looks up at him.

With a sigh, Brett glances down to Aleks before the wall receives his attention once more. “I told you before that I wanna be somebody you’re proud of. I don’t care about anybody else’s approval but yours, that’s still true, but Aleks,” he chuckles and shakes his head, “we need to get real. Not a lot of people like me.”

“So fuck those people.”

“I’m not worried about those people at all.”

“So what is it then?”

“I just wonder why somebody as great as you puts up with me, why you’re not also like those people,” Brett finally admits. “I’m… I’m work sometimes, dude,” he chuckles humorlessly and looks down Aleks’ body at the soap bubbling up. “You deserve somebody better. You should be with somebody who’ll help mold you into what you wanna be, not somebody who’s just gonna hold you back. I like to think I’ll help bring your career to new heights, that I’ll always be this awesome fuckbuddy for you, but Aleks, I’m not worth it.” He swallows and shakes his head. “You’re not gonna be with me like this forever. You’re meant for better things - better _ people.” _

_ So much for thinking about the right here, right now. _

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together in confusion and sits up in the water. “Brett, where is this coming from?” he asks as he turns to straddle Brett’s lap, the gloom evident in his features. “ _ ‘Put up with you’, _ like, what do you…” He bites his lips and shakes his head. “What do you mean _ ‘put up with you’? _ I don’t put up with you.”

“Aleks, we’re only like this right now because you had to move in with me.” Brett rolls his lips back, looks down to Aleks’ own, before he peers down into the water again. “Listen, I love the chain of events that have led us here but we wouldn’t be as close as we are right now if it weren’t for that. We’d be good friends, definitely, but we wouldn’t be able to do shit like this, you know? Have these deep talks, fall asleep together some nights, we’d just go out. We’d party, we’d work together, that’s all it would be.”

“But that’s not what happened,” Aleks reminds him in a soft, but firm tone. “Brett, I can’t argue with you over the fact that all this happened because I moved in with you, but moving in with you just made all of this happen a lot quicker. You’d still be into guys, guys like _ me, _ I’d still be into guys like you, and we would have found a way to each other eventually. Maybe we wouldn’t be as deep into this thing that we are,” he chuckles and looks into the water, “we wouldn’t be having deep talks or fucking all night, but we’d be doing something with each other. Me and you, Brett, I think we’re-”

_ Soulmates. _

Aleks freezes when that thought enters his mind and he wants to burn, wants that thought to burn and wither away into dust with him, but it’s fine as long as it stays just that - a thought. Even then, it’s an intrusive thought. It doesn’t mean anything more of his feelings for Brett.

He still just likes him. A whole lot.

_ Please, _ he knows better than to fall in love with his best friend.

“We’re what?” Brett asks.

Aleks sighs and presses his lips together as he tries to find a suitable substitute. “Brett, I just think we’re… tied to each other. And I think we’re tied in a way that we’d just be worse off without each other,” he explains. “You do make me a better person. You’ve helped keep me in line and you’re always there with answers to any of my questions, about business or just life in general.” He blinks up to Brett and takes a deep breath.”I won’t lie to you and say you don’t get defensive or overly sensitive sometimes but those are reasons why I like you.” He clears his throat before he quickly adds, “as a person.”

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and actually quirks a grin, the first he’s had in this impromptu, deep discussion. When Aleks sees the beginnings of that grin on his face, he can’t help a grin of his own and he feels a bit better about this whole thing.

“Thank you for being honest,” Brett says. “It’s why I believe everything you’ve just told me, even though there’s something inside me that says to keep arguing with you-”

“And you’re not.”

“I will not.” Brett holds up his hands in surrender and looks up into Aleks’ eyes. “I would say that my sudden mid life crisis is merit for my argument that you shouldn’t have to put with me, but,” he shrugs and lowers his hands to Aleks’ hips, “why make things harder on you, huh?”

“Just have fun with me, Brett,” Aleks chuckles and wraps his arms around Brett’s neck as he presses their foreheads together. “Think about the _ right here, right now. _ Relax. That’s what this is, right? Fun?”

Brett blinks slowly and licks along his lips. His fingers were, ever so slowly, grazing back and forth along Aleks’ skin, but now they’re frozen in place like the rest of him. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, forces out a chuckle afterwards (so forced that even Aleks knows it is), and says, “yup. Fun. Nothing else.”

Yup. This is all for fun. They’re just two dudes buttfuckin’ each other - nothing else to see here.

It also means there should be nothing to misinterpret in their many actions with each other but as easy as that sounds, it’s much harder in practice. The discussion they had just now will continue to raise the difficulty.

Aleks can understand being a bit insecure with yourself and needing to look to somebody for reassurance but Brett sounded genuinely upset at the idea that they could’ve just been good friends. Admittedly, Aleks doesn’t like that idea either but that’s because he likes Brett. He wants more with Brett, and he doesn’t ever want to go back to the way things were now that he’s with Brett like this.

So it’s why he wonders about Brett’s actions and words, why he’s been doing it with heavier scrutiny as of recently. It could be something to brush off as over analyzation, of his own desperation to be_ more _ with him, but Aleks can’t justify a friendly reason for Brett anymore.

He’s not saying Brett likes him, but he’s not exactly saying that Brett doesn’t like him either, and Aleks hates not having that concrete knowledge, that 0% or 100% certainty.

_ “You’re meant for better things - better people.” _

Maybe Aleks is meant for that.

If he and Brett can never be together, then there probably is a better person out there for him but he doesn’t want that person. Aleks wants to cast that person out to sea and leave them behind, along with that supposedly better life. That person isn’t Brett. Aleks is meant for the life he has with Brett right now, and he’s starting to think that Brett might feel a similar way.

… but if they’ll never be together, what exactly is Aleks supposed to do with that information?


	16. Snapshot Of My World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks moves in with Brett all over again and Brett decides to move his office workspace next to Aleks for no reason whatsoever. Also, Aleks and Brett do a video collab with Sugar Pine 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a triple upload week so Chapters 17 and 18 will be released on Wednesday and Friday respectively!

Brett really likes Aleks.

And Aleks really likes Suits - the television show, that is, though he does like _suits_ too, as evidenced earlier.

After a long night of fucking each other, bathing with each other, and having a sudden deep, meaningful discussion that Brett still feels slightly down about, watching the mid season finale of Suits was Aleks’ preferred method of ending the night.

_ “Brett, I just think we’re… tied to each other. And I think we’re tied in a way that we’d just be worse off without each other.” _

It’s the perfect way to explain a relationship; the bond between lovers. However, it’s not the way Brett would describe a typical friendship and his and Aleks’ is way beyond that now.

Yet, Aleks still describes it as them having fun. _ Fun _, that’s all it is.

And, well, yeah, it_ is_ fun to be with Aleks like this.

Brett enjoys the privilege of being the one to inflict pleasure on Aleks in all sorts of ways but he enjoys being able to explore his body more. He loves worshipping it with his eyes, then his hands to worship far beyond what the eyes can see in his immediate vision. He also enjoys the glossed over privilege of holding Aleks, knowing that Aleks is currently safe in his arms as they watch Aleks’ favorite show.

Brett just wishes it could be more than fun sometimes, _ only _ fun. But Aleks doesn’t like him.

He thinks Aleks doesn’t like him, but that’s just it though, he _ thinks. _ Brett wants to know for sure and unless he knows for sure, 100%, that Aleks likes him, what’s the point in complicating it because he wants to do more than play kissy face?

He doesn’t think Aleks would like him in this manner anyways, especially if he explicitly told Brett that this was just_ fun. _

Not much he can do but appreciate what he has, that so many others don’t, which is a naked, gorgeous boy wrapped up in his arms.

Scratching is felt along his chest and Brett looks down to see Aleks’ fingers running through the bristle of chest hair scattered throughout. Brett can barely see the smile pulling up the corner of Aleks’ lips from where his head lays on his shoulder, but he can accurately gather that Aleks isn’t even watching the television anymore.

Brett’s eyes travel down the length of their bodies, hidden by the comforter, and sees the outline of Aleks’ leg lazily thrown over his waist. One of Brett’s hands move to dance fingers along Aleks’ arm, the one over his chest.

Aleks’ smile widens and his fingers stop in their scratching so he can fully wrap his arm around Brett. He presses his face into Brett’s neck and slowly presses featherlight kisses all over.

A fond breath expels from Brett’s nose and his eyes lid shut momentarily before they look over to the television, which seems to be long forgotten about.

_ “I kiss you right now and I’m not gonna stop.” _

Brett blinks down to Aleks and furrows his eyebrows together, takes in a deep breath as he brings one of his hands back to grab the remote so he can pause the show.

_ That’s a risk I’m willing to take right now. _

One arm maintains its hold around Aleks’ shoulder, presses Aleks tighter to his body, while the other hand drifts under the covers to hold onto Aleks’ thigh, keeps it right there over his waist, and Brett suddenly captures Aleks’ mouth with his own before Aleks can complain.

He’s starting to think Aleks wasn’t going to complain though, because if he was, he wouldn’t so readily reciprocate this kiss.

Aleks moans into Brett’s mouth and wraps an arm around his neck, grabs onto the back of his hair with the other so he can keep his head close in this unexpected, loving kiss. When his thigh tightens against Brett, Brett lets go to press that hand on the small of Aleks’ back, fingers splaying out to cover as much area of skin as he can.

The television is the only light source, a white color that illuminates the darkest blue shrouding the room. The night is old, no longer young, but Brett and Aleks still kiss like there’s all the time to be had. Funny how time ceases to be with them in moments like these, yet they let time, the past and future, cloud their judgments. Time seems to have meaning only when they allow it to do so.

Brett tightens his hold on Aleks and pushes against Aleks’ tongue and Aleks retreats his for Brett to explore, like Brett hasn’t already figured out every little ridge, bump, crevice in his mouth. He explores in mostly the same fashion, takes his time with each area, and Aleks graciously lets him - it might be the same but he likes that comfort in the familiar. They both do.

His tongue slides out to trail along Aleks’ lips and Aleks’ own tongue does the same with Brett’s, circling around each other until their heads tilt the other way to go back in for one more deep kiss. A deep kiss that’s only about a minute or two long slows down as the gears in Brett’s mind turn.

They often have nights like this after having sex. They’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms but before then, they’ll cuddle and kiss, they’ll make out like they’re any other couple out there and they’re not but Brett is starting to love the game of make believe they’re playing. But these nights only happen when they have sex - only sometimes, not all the time.

Aleks feels safe in Brett’s arms and Brett feels safe holding Aleks. Doesn’t it make sense for them to just… do this a lot more? Not on certain nights?

Brett finally pulls away and he rests his head back on the pillow, Aleks doing the same. They open their eyes to look into each other’s and despite everything that’s happened tonight, the uncertainties in their deep discussion, Brett still has to smile. He always has to when he looks at Aleks like this.

Aleks smiles back, even brings over one of his hands to cup the side of Brett’s face. He raises his eyebrows in a silent invitation for Brett to speak while his thumb brushes back and forth along his beard and it’s an invitation Brett readily accepts.

“You should sleep with me more,” Brett offers. “Just… whenever you want, not just when we have sex.”

Aleks huffs a chuckle through his nose and looks to Brett’s lips. “What if I told you I wanted to do that all the time?”

_ Even better. _

Brett’s smile widens and he bites down on his lips so he doesn’t look too eager, like he doesn’t want to spend all of his time with Aleks. “Then we’ll do it all the time,” he says softly. “You feel safe in my arms, I feel safe_ with _ you in my arms…” he shrugs. “It just makes sense.”

“It does.” Aleks nods. “It makes a lot of sense…” he breathes in deeply and the smile graces his face again, bigger than before, but he bites down on his lips for the same reason Brett does. “So uh… I guess you’re like, basically asking me to move in with you, huh?”

With a laugh, Brett says, “I guess. Should I ask you and make it official?”

“Wouldn’t mind it.”

“You’re so cute,” Brett mumbles as he moves his head closer to Aleks. He raises his eyebrows and looks into Aleks’ eyes, his bright smile shifting into a knowing grin. “So… Aleks…”

“Yeah, Brettzle Stick?”

_ So fucking cute. _

Brett chuckles and then he takes in a deep breath, like he’s about to ask the most important question of all - and he kind of is. Even though he knows Aleks will say yes (Aleks is the one who told him to ask after all), he still needs to look all over his face for reassurance.

What Brett sees is utter magnificence. Interstellar beauty. Remnants of bright stars coming together to form the most perfect constellation. A sight that can only be known as Brett's precious angel sent from above.

_ Aleks. _

Brett takes in another deep breath, scans his face one more, this time to fully take in this sight that’s so beyond descriptions of any kind, no matter how many he uses, and he asks, “Aleksandr Marchant… will you move in with me?”

Aleks leans forward to answer in a whisper, “I thought you’d never ask,”, and then he shows his gratitude by placing a big wet peck to Brett’s lips.

Brett never thought he’d ask Aleks this either, not again. The first time he asked Aleks to move in with him, it was a necessity, a solution to a dire problem. It didn’t take Brett long at all to ask - in fact, he asked Aleks out of the blue. Now he’s asking Aleks out of a want, a desire to be around him more, and it’s been something he’s thought of for almost 2 months now.

He expected Aleks to move in but he never would’ve thought Aleks would’ve moved into his heart too - much less, his bedroom.

Will Brett complain? No. He’ll just fall asleep with Aleks in his arms and wake up to Aleks in his arms. He’ll still wonder _ why me? _, but he won’t complain. Brett won’t complain at all.

In fact, Brett sleeps soundly through the night.

Aleks too.

* * *

**September 18th, 2017**

“Is it just me, Lindsey,” Brett starts, “or is it a beautiful day today?”

Lindsey looks out the warehouse windows to see gray skies and heavy rain beating against the glass. Her lips press together and she crosses her arms over her chest before she looks down to her desktop. “Uh… sure,” she answers.

“So what happened with your computer again?”

Lindsey shrugs and plops a seat on the couch behind her desk. “Don’t know, I turned it on just now and… gone. Everything.”

“A freak incident, huh?” Brett sighs and pulls his chair back to look at the blinking USB in her computer. “Good thing I make backups like, every week.”

The people they work with are pretty good about making sure their fuckups aren’t too collosol and at one point, these backups weren’t even needed but then one day, Asher…

_ UGH. _

Anyways, Brett has committed to backing up the entire system once a week. Admittedly, it’s something he should’ve been doing in the first place… and it was! Once every other month! But that particular incident, that Brett won’t even get into just because it annoys him that much, motivated him to kick up the notch to once a week.

Apart from Lindsey’s computer taking a fart on her, the rest of the day is going pretty well. It has nothing to do with the fact that Brett has decided to work next to Aleks today instead of hiding himself in his office. It has nothing to do with the fact that they’ve been sleeping together, _ actually _ sleeping together for a few nights now. No, Aleks isn’t the reason for it at all!

… he’s totally the reason. But nobody else can know that.

“So you and Aleks need to go out with me and James again,” Lindsey says. “I thought we had a real awesome time the last time we went out and I wanna do it again!”

“It was pretty fun,” Brett agrees. “You two are cute.”

“So are you and Aleks.” Lindsey raises her eyebrows. “Any reason why you had Aleks act like your boyfriend? Charlotte wasn’t flirting with you at all and you know it.”

“Uhh, one, she totally was annnd two? This was like, a week ago. It’s too late to discuss now.”

She absolutely was flirting with Brett! Charlotte was… and she… yeah! It was obvious! Holding hands with Aleks, feeding him cheesecake, calling him his angel in public was just a tactic to ward her off, and it did the job! It did it amazingly well! So well that Charlotte thought they were _sooo cute_ together and they are!

_ I wish we could act like that again… ): _

“But enough about me and Aleks’ completely platonic friendship that you’re looking into!” Brett exclaims as he swivels his chair to look at Lindsey with a bright smile. “How are you and James? Almost 3 weeks now, right?”

Lindsey leans back on the couch with a nice little hum and she looks up at the ceiling with a smile. “Yup, just about,” she chimes. “It’s been pretty great and he’s kind of an angel.”

_ Hey, that’s my name! _

Lindsey looks down from the ceiling and over at James. “HEY, JAMES!”

“YO!” James calls out.

“YOU LIKE DATING ME?”

“YEAH, IT’S COOL.”

Lindsey relaxes on the couch and looks over to Brett as she motions her hands over to James. “There you have it. We’re perfect.”

“Sounds like it,” Brett says, sitting up in his seat. “How big is his dick?”

“How big is Aleks’?”

Brett gasps and puts his hands on his hips. “Lindsey!” he scolds. “This is a place of work!”

Lindsey smirks and crosses her arms behind her head. “Speaking of Aleks… I see that you’re not working in your office today.”

Brett narrows his eyes and looks from side to side with a chuckle. “Uh, what does that have to do with Aleks?”

“Because you’ve decided to do your work sitting next to him today.”

“So?”

“You’ve been doing that for a few days now.”

Brett clears his throat and looks all the way across the warehouse to Aleks, eating his lunch. “Yeah, well… it gives me a better view of the floor,” he answers. “And he’s got a nice, calming presence.”

“Aleks? A nice, calming presence?”

“Yeah.”

“Brett, he almost burned down the warehouse.”

“Yeah.”

“He gave your office a whole makeover.”

“Yeah.”

“We had to order a new couch because of him”

“On camera Aleks and off camera Aleks are two different people.” Brett holds up two fingers and wags them back and forth. “I rest my case.”

On camera, Aleks is… he’s a character, that’s for sure.

He’s reckless, he memes 24/7, and he’s the textbook definition of chaotic. Aleks still retains these qualities off camera but they’re not as strong. He’s a bit of a risk taker, he knows his fair share of memes, and he can definitely incite chaos if he wants. Christ, Aleks wanted Brett to fuck him in the bathroom of a supermarket, that is absolutely chaotic.

But these qualities are what makes Aleks the man that he is, thus the man that has stolen Brett’s heart.

“Mmhm.” Lindsey rolls her eyes. “You just wanna flirt with him.”

Duh, why the fuck else would he be sitting next to Aleks? It beats sitting all alone in his office, not being able to see him now that he’s moved desks… of course, it means Brett has to hear all of the commotion that happens in the warehouse but that’s what noise cancelling headphones are for.

“You’re just jealous because if you wanna flirt with James, you have to actually get up out of your seat to do so.”

“HA!” Lindsey points an incriminating finger at Brett. “You admit that you just wanna flirt with Aleks!”

“Nooo,” Brett defends. “You’re projecting your need to flirt with James onto me.”

“You’re such a-”

“Ooh, hey!” Brett smiles over at Lindsey’s desktop. “We’re finally done backing up! I should return to my desk!”

“Brett, I’m your best friend.”

“You are!” he cheers as he takes his USB out from the computer. “And I thank you for it everyday!”

“As your best friend, I know things about you that even you don’t know yet.”

Brett furrows his eyebrows down at Lindsey while he stands up from the chair. “That sounds… vaguely threatening.”

Lindsey stands up and narrows her eyes challengingly at Brett. She steps closer to him, right in his personal space, and Brett swallows as he looks the other way… but then Lindsey just shrugs and slides past Brett to sit in her chair.

“Perceive it however you want,” Lindsey tells him. “Thanks for saving my computer!”

“... I gotta go,” Brett mumbles as he quickly begins to walk away from her area.

How does she do that? Walk up to Brett and assert herself like the fucking alpha female that she is? Her and Brett are actually quite alike, only Brett is more outward with his emotions and expressing them whereas Lindsey knows how to save face and be this bubbling ray of sunshine everybody knows her to be. It’s why people tend to like Lindsey but regard Brett with mostly indifference.

Everybody but Aleks, and Brett needs to return to that chaotically wonderful burst of creative cuteness.

On the way back to his desk, he sees Trevor with a box in his hands, talking to Aleks while Asher,_ GO EDIT YOUR VIDEO!, _ films the whole thing.

“So I’m gonna open this up in front of you,” Trevor says, “because you’ve shown interest in it-”

“No,” Aleks chuckles. “No, uh, what I’m telling you is can you please leave this area so I can enjoy my meal.”

Brett furrows his eyebrows and walks around the desks, past his own chair.

“What do you think is in here?” Trevor asks. “Like, Chinese anthrax?”

“As opposed to like… American anthrax?”

“Aleks,” Brett says as he places his hands firmly on Aleks’ shoulders. “Are these two bothering you?”

A small smile lifts up the corner of Aleks’ lips as he tilts his head back to look up at Brett. “What would you do if I said yes?”

“Woah, hey, Brett,” Trevor chuckles nervously and holds his hands up. “Good time here, you know what I’m sayin? Hey, you wanna see this package that a fan most likely bought for us?”

Brett looks down to the package for a second or two before he looks up to Trevor. “I saw it,” he says before he looks to Aleks again. “If you said yes, I’d beat them both up.”

“Then…”

“Hey, you know what, I think James really wants to see what’s in here,” Trevor tells them as he holds the package close to his chest. “See ya!”

Brett snorts and shakes his head in amusement before he goes to finally sit down. “Anyways,” he chuckles, “how’s your Patreon script coming along?”

Aleks takes one more bite of his steak before he leans back in his chair and looks ahead to the desktop at his script. “I gotta lot of ideas, Brett. It’s all a matter of laying it out.”

“Run ‘em by me.”

“I wanna rent a truck.”

“Okay, sure.”

“And a Lamborghini.”

“You wanna rent a Lambo?”

“Yeah…” Then Aleks purses his lips and looks to the ceiling. “If there’s money for it.”

“I wanna make your dreams happen, bud.” Brett slouches in his chair and clasps his hands on his lap. “What else are you thinking?”

Aleks’ ambitions are high for this script and the passion is evident on his face, the way his eyes light up, evident in his hands, the way they move around, and it captivates Brett’s attention entirely. He actually spaces out once or twice just looking at Aleks, allowing his infectious passion to seep into him and it seeps enough that Brett can’t help a smile as he looks and listens.

“... and after we film all that, us being the loan sharks and killing James and everything, we’d cut to the actual Patreon advertisement but I don’t know how to like… I don’t know how I want that to go,” Aleks sighs and stabs a fork into his steak. “I want it to be funny but I also like, need to let everybody know how much YouTube is fucking us over.”

Brett snorts and watches Aleks bring the steak to his mouth. “Why don’t I just get shirtless and lounge in a pool talking about our Patreon?”

Aleks throws his head back in laughter before he can eat and he drops the fork back into the box. “Dude, that’s…” his laughter dies down and the smile still lingers on his face as his eyebrows furrow together in contemplation. “Dude, you know what? Yes.” He nods and looks to Brett. “I was gonna have you be the one to explain that anyways but that fucking works.”

“You just want an excuse to see me shirtless.”

“That too.” Aleks shrugs and chuckles. “But I mean, what better way to get people donating to our Patreon then with a hot shirtless guy, you know?”

If Brett started watching a YouTube channel and he saw Aleks, lounging shirtless in a pool, begging people to donate money, he’d donate his entire life savings. He sort of did the equivalent of that when he paid that Uber driver all of his emergency cash to bypass the speed limits so he could get home and fuck Aleks sooner.

Aleks is very convincing. And persistent. Brett wishes he was more resilient in regards to Aleks but then sometimes he gives in, Aleks looks so happy because of it, and he comes to the conclusion that giving his entire life to make Aleks happy isn’t so bad.

“Well I can’t argue your logic there,” Brett chuckles and looks from Aleks to see what Trevor is doing. “Let me know when that script is done and… and…” he squints his eyes when Trevor starts to model in all sorts of weird poses with what looks to be brand new sunglasses.

Aleks is watching Trevor the same way Brett is - with confusion and amusement. “Trevor’s really changed, huh?” he asks.

“That he has.”

“He’s hotter now than he was before.”

Brett snorts and glances to Aleks. “Not as hot as me though, right?” he asks as he nudges Aleks’ shoulder. 

“Dude, you know nobody comes close,” Aleks answers.

_ Don’t look into it. It doesn’t mean what you think. DON’T, BRETT. _

Aleks chuckles when Trevor puts a finger on his lip and turns his head to look at the camera. “We got a fucking Playboy model over here.”

“I’m pretty sure Trevor would be a Playgirl model - Playgirls are the guys.”

“Have you ever read a Playgirl?”

“If you were a Playgirl, I definitely would’ve read it.”

Aleks smirks and leans back in his chair to look over at Brett. “Want me to be your personal Playgirl model? Pose for you sometime?”

“Would you wear the lingerie too?” Brett asks. “You’d actually look good in-”

Brett stops when he sees the weird look on Aleks’ face and his lips thin together. He blinks a few times and his lips scrunch to purse together before he takes out his phone. Brett takes a deep breath and slowly looks down to unlock his phone and he says, “I mean, you’d just…” he shrugs. “I can see you in like… stockings. Or panties. Maybe uh…” he clears his throat and mumbles, “... a skirt-”

“I am_ never _ wearing a skirt,” Aleks tells him with conviction. “Stockings? Maybe. Panties? Maybe when we discuss it like, a million times-”

“Could always wear a jockstrap if panties aren’t uh, your thing.” Brett nods. “Easy access, you know?”

Aleks grimaces and crosses his arms over his chest. “I guess,” he mumbles. “I shouldn’t be surprised you’re into this. I, unfortunately, look pretty convincing as a girl-”

“Nooo, you’re still Aleks,” Brett assures. “You’d just uh, be Aleks wearing… panties. They don’t have to be girl things.”

Brett’s gotta be honest with himself, Aleks would look fucking hot dressed in lingerie and he doesn’t think it’s weird at all. He has the figure for this stuff! It’d be hot to just push Aleks up against a wall, lift up his skirt, and shove inside him. Brett shouldn’t be put on trial for wanting to see a pretty boy in pretty things!

“They don’t have to be girl things,” Aleks repeats. “Sounds like a justification for your fetish.”

“A little bit,” Brett admits. “But they really aren’t just for girls.”

“We’ll see,” Aleks sighs. “But expect nothing.”

“I didn’t expect anything more,” Brett says as he opens the camera on his phone. “Pose for me.”

“Taking advantage of that offer already?” Aleks asks as he hunches over the desk, squints into the camera with a smirk.

“You don’t seem to mind,” Brett answers with a smirk of his own as he takes the picture. “I want a few more…”

He proceeds to take a few pictures of Aleks doing random expressions along with various poses right in his chair. Every single one of them is dumb and silly but Brett likes these moments with Aleks just as much as the sentimental ones, the moments where they can just let go and be dumb and silly with no judgement.

It’s rare Brett gets to be like that at work when they’re off camera as well. He always has to be the one to remind others of deadlines, about the cold, hard facts of their industry. Brett’s the one that has to deliver news that’s tough to swallow and it’s an aspect of his job that he’s used to but there are a few occasions where he wishes he didn’t always have to be the bad guy.

But then he’ll sit with Aleks, they’ll be dumb and silly together, and Brett doesn’t have to think about any of that.

Aleks laughs after the last picture and he hunches over his desk. “Dude, we’re fucking stupid,” he says as he pokes at the steak with his fork.

“Just a little bit,” Brett chuckles and watches Aleks in the lens.

He’s got a bright smile on his face and he thinks Brett has completely stopped taking pictures of him. Brett thought so too but… Aleks looks so beautiful in a candid moment like this, when he thinks he’s not being watched.

Brett can’t help but take just one more picture, only one, and then he quickly exits out of his camera.

Aleks takes one more bite of his steak and he stills completely. His eyes widen and then he quickly stands up from his chair to race to the bathroom, leaving Brett alone at the desk.

_ His lunch must not be settling well. _

Brett shakes his head and leans back in his seat, opening the Camera Roll to look at the recent pictures of Aleks he just took. He taps at each one to chuckle at the silliness of Aleks’ poses, because they really are, they’re weird and most definitely not poses an actual Playgirl model would do, but then Brett gets to the last picture - the candid of Aleks.

His heart skips a beat.

Aleks is truly himself in this picture. He’s not putting on an act for the camera, isn’t trying to be reckless and chaotic or dumb and silly, though these four things tend to go hand in hand together. Aleks is just… living in that moment. He’s not thinking about how to act at all.

Like always, Aleks is beautiful, especially in a perceived vulnerable state.

Brett looks around the office a few times and then he checks the image options. He whistles a tune to himself as he makes the picture his home screen and then he sets his phone down before he goes back to work.

_ These e-mails aren’t gonna answer themselves. _

* * *

**September 20th, 2017**

Aleks takes a bottle of water from the fridge and his phone buzzes right as he closes the door.

**[Brett]** Texting you while I’m talking to Suptic. Multitasking like a BOSS.

**[Himself] **You’re definitely part of a bit right now.

**[Brett] **Actually, he wants us to do a bit with him. Last minute.

**[Brett]** IDIOT. But we might do it. Or not. I’m trying to negotiate over here so be prepared.

**[Himself]** What does he wanna do?

**[Brett]** Tennis???

Aleks has played tennis before. He used to date this rich girl at his high school and he remembers going out to the country club with her once or twice, playing tennis and golf and all sorts of rich people stuff.

He was alright.

Aleks just shakes his head and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He’ll wait for Brett to text him with more concrete information, though he really isn’t prepared to leave the office for a bit today. He was just wanting to edit a few videos and work on his Patreon and Minecraft scripts and ughhh they need to be good, the pinnacle of YouTube video achievement, they need to shit views and likes!!

But as unorthodox as this job is, it’s still a job. So if another content creator wants to collab with him, it needs to be something he’s willing to do - or look willing, anyways.

“Hey, Aleks…”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and acknowledges Asher with a head nod. “S’up, Ashie?”

“Uhh…” Asher rolls his lips back and leans against the counter. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Unlike Brett, Aleks really likes Asher.

Asher has a real creative mind and he thinks outside of the box. He has a sort of morbid sense of humor but who doesn’t these days? Sure, he has a habit of being late… to places and turning in things to places… a lot… but he’s a great guy. Asher’s just new to the industry and he’s still trying to get adjusted to the demanding nature of it as well as the glitzy lifestyle LA portrays.

“What’s up, dude?” Aleks asks.

“So when you were just starting out in a business like this, creating videos and working with people and stuff… like, as an actual job, like, did you have any anxiety about it?”

“I still do,” Aleks chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “It always lingers but that’s kind of an all around thing for me, not just the industry.” He looks over to Asher. “I’m guessing you do?”

Asher sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “I… yeah. It’s just a lot more than I was expecting,” he admits.

“Yeah, a lot of people think it’s all fun and games what we’re doing,” Aleks explains. “It’s definitely a lot more fun than some regular job, I think, but there’s a different set of expectations. You have other things to worry about and if you’re new, it can be hard to differentiate what needs to be done, what’s necessary, from what isn’t.”

“I totally get that.” Asher nods. “Like, this is my dream job, right? But sometimes I think I’m letting it down, not doing all that I can.”

“You’re new,” Aleks tells him. “That’s a completely normal thing to think, and I don’t think you’re the only one who has anxiety coming into this industry. You’ve been in Colorado forever, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So all of this is completely new to you. It’s a huge shift and it’s gonna take awhile to get used to it.”

Asher shoves his hands into his pockets and acknowledges what Aleks says with a nod. “I figured that’d be the case,” he says softly. “Makes me feel a bit better.”

Aleks can’t say he’s been in Asher’s shoes before. He was making videos since he was a teenager so the industry naturally came to him. Just because he hasn’t been in his shoes, however, doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand how Asher feels.

“Can I ask you something else?” Asher asks.

“What else is up?”

“So Brett-”

_ Please don’t ask me why Brett doesn’t like you. _

“- is kinda strict. I… get it, sort of? Because he’s the boss? But do you know why? I mean, you two live together and you’re close so I wanna think you have some insight on him.”

_ I can deal with that. _

“Brett just takes it all seriously,” Aleks answers. “He’s been doing this for awhile so he kind of expects everybody to be on the same page as him…” he takes in a deep breath and exhales a sigh as he looks up to the ceiling. “Look, I love Brett a lot, but with people that are new to the industry, like you and Trevor, it kind of takes awhile to get used to it and build up this work ethic that he’s looking for.”

It’s why Brett has no problems laying down the law or giving the bad news - it’s simply his job. Aleks is thankful that’s his job too because he _ hates _ confrontation. Brett kind of does that for him. He’ll say things that Aleks has always been wanting to say, with a hint of snippy flavor. It’s not that Aleks can’t stand up for himself but if there’s a little thing nagging at him and he’s trying to figure out the perfect way to talk about it, Brett will easily point it out for him.

“So… what’s he looking for, work ethic wise?”

“Staying late hours and always meeting deadlines without a problem,” Aleks answers. “Coming in early some days and helping to clean up messes even if they aren’t your own. It’s what Brett’s used to. Also I don’t think he’s really worked around…” he shrugs and looks Asher up and down. “Younger people. It’s always been people his age, people he relates more with, on a work level and a personal one.”

That’s why Aleks thinks their management team works. Brett’s the one to handle all the business and dole out the authority while he and James provide a soundboard for Trevor and Asher to talk and vent - people Trevor and Asher can better relate with. Then they can translate that information to Brett in a way he’d understand.

Not that Brett wouldn’t be able to understand Trevor and Asher. He’s just uh… sometimes he can be a bit intimidating. Hell, Aleks was intimidated for a long time but you suck a guy’s dick a few times and entice him with your thick ass to do your bidding and it's kind of hard to stay intimidated.

“So Brett does kinda like me then?” Asher asks. “He doesn’t secretly have it out for me?”

Fuck. Where’s Brett to answer this? Shit, he can’t answer this. He’ll be too honest. Aleks isn’t good with confrontation, Brett does this for him! But he can’t have Brett confront this! Brett would-

“Allllleksandr!”

_ Brettzle- oh fuck, I gotta save Asher. _

“Uhh, Ashie, my man,” Aleks chuckles and wraps an arm around Asher’s shoulder as he leads him away from the kitchen. “Thanks for letting me know that video will be done by the end of the day today! Thanks for working hard, dude!”

“But we didn’t-

Aleks pinches Asher’s shoulder.

“Ahhh, yeah… thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Haha, yeah!” Aleks lets go of Asher and gives him a thumbs up. “Go get ‘em!”

Asher furrows his eyebrows and gives Aleks a bit of a weird look. He looks back and forth and gives Aleks two thumbs up before he heads back to his seat.

Brett crosses his arms over his chest and watches Asher walk away. His eyes widen and he shakes his head before he gives Aleks his full attention. “Anyways… you and I gotta go.”

Aleks sighs and rolls his eyes up at the ceiling. “Dude, I didn’t even get to drink my water yet. Do we have to go film with Steven Shitdick?”

Brett snorts. “That’s a new one. I like it.”

Aleks chuckles and twists open the cap to his water. “Thanks, I came up with it last night.”

“Now I know what that mumbling in your sleep was,” Brett points out. “But yeah, we gotta film with him. We’re gonna head back home real quick, put on some sort of tennis outfit, and we’ll meet them at the court.”

“We’re really just playing tennis?”

Brett shrugs and wraps an arm around Aleks to lead him away from the kitchen area. “They have this whole thing planned for the video. Oh, by the way,” Brett chuckles and brings up his other hand to rest on Aleks’ chest. “Suptic asked us to be a little gay with each other.”

“Oh boy,” Aleks chuckles and looks to Brett. “Did you let him have it?”

“Actually,” Brett says, “I told him I wouldn’t mind giving a few people some fanfiction fuel.”

Aleks shakes his head and brings the water to his lips. “This is gonna be a real interesting video then…”

* * *

**September 22nd, 2017**

The tennis video is uploaded on September 22nd, with the title of “Annual Cow Chop vs. Sugar Pine 7 Tennis-Off. 2017.” even though this is the first and probably the last game of tennis they will ever play with each other.

4k cameras are used so the quality is nigh-impeccable. If you look closely, you can see the follicles of Brett’s chest hair, the small beads of color in Aleks’ tattoos, and the smell lines of sexual tension wafting between Aleks and Brett.

“Me and Aleks went to the far side first,” Brett says, “but we couldn’t find you guys, and then a kind family - hey.” Brett stops when he sees Cib pushing into Aleks and he rests his hands on Aleks’ shoulders to pull Aleks away. “Leave him alone, this one is mine.”

“You guys aren’t gonna win the Streamy’s by the way,” Aleks says as he reaches his hands up to lay over Brett’s.

_ “He doesn’t know that,” says Steven’s narration. “I do have to admit, I’m a bit nervous playing against Brett and Aleks because it’s hard to beat true love. Then again, I thought my first girlfriend truly loved me and then I caught her with my dad. I still see her at family gatherings to this day.” _

“Okay, so in the warm up round, we’re gonna show them how ‘bad’,” Steven uses fingerquotes, “we are at tennis. Okay? We’re gonna-”

“What are Brett and Aleks doing?” ‘Alfredo’ asks.

Steven and Cib furrow their eyebrows and look behind them and the camera zooms in on Brett massaging Aleks’ shoulders and whispering… something into his ear, but whatever it is pulls a nice laugh from Aleks.

“Oh fuck,” Cib mumbles and turns to Steven. “Come here, we need to be as gay as them-”

“We’re not actually bad at tennis!” Steven hisses. “Don’t touch me!”

After putting on a horrendous performance in the warmup round, Steven and Cib let loose in the first game and get the first point over Brett and Aleks.

“Wow!” Alfredo exclaims as his camera focuses on Brett. “Strong _ and _ stupid!”

Steven and Cib celebrate the best way Sugar Pine 7 knows how - by grinding against each other and chanting like buffoons. As they turn to grind their butts back and forth, Alfredo hurries up to them and pushes at their shoulders.

“Oh no!” he exclaims. “The tree trunk man is working off his frustrations!”

Steven and Cib turn to see Brett doing effortless squats with Aleks on his shoulders, ranting about how _ “Steven and Cib are gonna get theirs!” _ and _ “They’ve only seen the beginning!” _ and _ “ME AND ALEKS WILL VANQUISH YOU!” _

“Wow!” Cib exclaims with a bright smile. “That is definitely terrifying!”

“I know 54 judo holds,” Steven mumbles. “I can take him.”

_ “I do not know judo,” Steven’s narration says. “In fact, I’ve never done any sort of fighting in my life. Brett could easily murder me with his bare hands and I am afraid.” _

Brett’s terrifying display of dominance could possibly be reason for Cib spiking his and Aleks’ drinks if he wasn’t already doing that in the first place. His plan is to spike it with melatonin, large amounts of it…

… but he ends up putting the melatonin in his and Steven’s drinks instead. Oops.

Obviously, Sugar Pine 7 lose the game. They can’t even play the third set because of how damn loopy they are.

While Steven and Cib crawl around like zombies on the tennis court, Brett and Aleks are celebrating in their own way - Brett, giving Aleks a piggyback ride as he does a victory lap around the court, shouting about how “Shit” Pine 7 will never be a match for Cow Chop.

The video still has one more scene left after the knowledge that Sugar Pine 7 will have to clean the Cow Chop office’s, and that’s Alfredo’s romantic pursuit for Aleks, though maybe romantic isn’t the right word for it.

He catches Aleks in a rare moment when he’s away from Brett.

“Oh, Allllleks~” sings Alfredo.

Aleks turns to Alfredo and raises his eyebrows.

“After we clean your office, can I clean your colon?”

Aleks shakes his head. “Sorry, babe, already got a guy doing that.”

Alfredo gasps. “Oh no… is it,” his camera moves to film Brett across the court, taking a long drink of water, “the tree trunk man?”

“Tree trunk man?” Aleks furrows his eyebrows but then his eyes widen under his raybans in realization. “Ohhh…” he looks back to Brett and Brett looks back to him. Brett smiles at Aleks and even gives a little wave and Aleks gives a cute wave of his own right back.

Then, Aleks looks into Alfredo’s camera and with a wink, he says “our little secret, huh, Alfredo?”

The video ends on a lingering scene of Aleks walking back over to Brett, the both of them grabbing onto each other’s hands as they leave the court victorious…

… and then it pans back to the less pleasing sight of Steven and Cib groaning in pain on the colored tarmac.

“I told you we should’ve been gay,” Cib breathes.


	17. Black Hole Of Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett head out to the Let's Play Reunion and two men from Aleks' past return to give Brett an unknowingly hard time.

**September 24th, 2017**

Aleks flips on the switch in Brett’s bathroom and groans when the light temporarily blinds him. He squints his eyes shut as he pulls down his boxers, readying himself to do his business.

You’re bundled under warm comforters, the bed has never been more comfortable, and maybe there’s an equally warm, if not, warmer, body you’re pressed against… and then you wake up in the middle of the night with a full bladder.

It’s one of the most annoying feelings in the world, having to pull yourself from a warm bed, out of a dark room, into a colder one with blinding lights.

Aleks goes to wash his hands, _ woah, this soap smells super good, _and he purveys Brett’s counter as he does so. He sees his toothbrush in a holder, a fresh tube of toothpaste right beside it. There’s a small wicker basket propped under the mirror that contains a comb and a brush, though Aleks doesn’t see Brett’s need for the brush now. Next to the faucet is a yellow, orangish bottle of…

He huffs a fond breath through his nose when he fully makes out the words on it - _ cinnamon vanilla. _

Brett’s bathroom counter is incredibly clean and well organized. Aleks expected nothing less. It’s full of Brett’s things and things that are uniquely Brett, nobody else’s. It makes sense, for Brett’s things to be in Brett’s bathroom, besides Brett’s bedroom. The bathroom is usually the first room a person goes to when they wake up.

… hey, Aleks is going to be sleeping with Brett a lot more now. Should his things be in here too?

Preferably, he’d like to sleep with Brett more often than not so it’d make sense for him to move a few things in here, right? Or… not?

Aleks kind of wants to ask Brett about it and the only reason he’s even humoring the thought is because it’d be easier for him, not because he wants to combine his and Brett’s spaces.

They’re already combining their bodies together. Aleks doesn’t want to oversaturate Brett with his presence, no matter how fine Brett might say he is with it.

Aleks sighs and shakes that thought of his head while he dries off his hands. He returns to the bedroom after turning off the bathroom lights and he’s about to climb onto the bed until Brett awakens with a small gasp.

Brett feels at his throat, looks over to his window, and when he looks to the other side to see Aleks, he sighs with relief and lies back down. “Alright, crisis averted,” he mumbles. “Good night-”

“Bad dream?” Aleks asks as he slides underneath the covers.

“More like a nightmare,” Brett yawns.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“It wasn’t too big, it was just about Geoff,” he chuckles. “He was…” He bites his lips and takes a deep breath before he gives another chuckle. “He was trying to… kill me? Yeah, I don’t know either.”

Aleks drops his head back onto the pillow with a laugh and looks over to Brett. “Seriously? Shit dude,” his laughter dies down to a chuckle. “Well, maybe he was just trying to kill you for having a bigger dick than him.”

Brett looks over to Aleks with a grin and asks, “do I really have a bigger dick?”

“Not by a lot, but it’s definitely noticeable.”

Brett hums his approval, closes his eyes, and lays back down in bed. “I feel somewhat better now,” he sighs. “Thanks for stroking my ego, as well as my dick on certain occasions. Nighty night.”

Aleks watches Brett turn his back to him and his eyes cascade down his back, as much as he can scan until Brett’s bottom half vanishes beneath the comforter. Brett’s back is wider where his shoulders are but then it slims at his hips, perfect for wrapping arms around or just to grab at. 

He has a tiny bit of an hourglass figure going on and Aleks digs it. Brett talks about his curves and Aleks doesn’t think he has curves to speak of but Brett? His are obvious and they’re beautiful.

There’s a clear size difference between them but those slim hips make it easy for Aleks to perfectly press himself closer to Brett’s back and he trails his hand along his spine. The tips of his fingers crawl downwards like a spider and Brett shivers like there’s actually one too but he rolls his shoulders back, they slump, and then Brett brings his arm to wrap around Aleks’ neck from the front.

“What’cha doin’?” he mumbles.

“Just thinking,” Aleks whispers as he watches his fingers. “You know how I feel safe in your arms?”

“Mmhm.”

Aleks huffs through his nose and smiles. “Do you feel safe in mine?”

Brett lids his eyes open to stare out the blinds with a smile of his own - bashful, almost. “I do” he admits quietly.

“Want me to spoon you?”

“That sounds really nice right now,” Brett says as he wriggles up against Aleks to press their bodies together, his back along Aleks’ chest. “Go ahead - spoon me, daddy.”

Aleks wraps his arm around Brett’s waist with a snort and closes his eyes. “That actually sounds pretty hot coming from you,” he murmurs into his ear.

“Well you get to be daddy for a few hours,” Brett tells him. “Until we wake back up.”

Aleks groans and drops his face against the nape of Brett’s neck. “We still gotta go to that Let’s Play thing?”

He’s known that they have to go to this for a couple months but his annoyance for the event hasn’t changed at all. It’s not that the Let’s Play Reunion is a bad idea, but they’re trying to force all of these groups to come together like they’re all a family and that’s just simply not the case. It’s admirable, but Aleks feels that it’s, you know, forced.

“Come ooooon, I’ll be there,” Brett reminds him.

“Better sneak out with me to kiss every once in awhile.”

Brett laughs. “Dude, we’re sharing a room together. We’ll be able to do a lot more than kiss.”

Aleks closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go to sleep now before I think about what _ more _ is.”

That’s the end of that little conversation. Time to sleep for a few more hours until the alarm hastily wakes them… but Aleks can’t even get a few minutes of rest before he feels something grinding back and forth against his dick, _ oh god, what the hell is Brett doing? _

“Breeett,” Aleks whines. “I actually wanna sleeeeep...”

Brett laughs and easily brings his hips to a stop. “I just wanted to fuck with you. You’re right, we do need to sleep.” He closes his eyes again and with a smirk, he says, “good night, _ daddy.” _

Brett often calls out Aleks for teasing him and he has every reason to. Aleks definitely does tease him, he knows it and he loves it, but Brett’s a damn tease too and Aleks thought he was oblivious but he absolutely does know what he’s doing! That little… that… that dirty, rugged minx!

_ Is this how Brett feels? _

Aleks hums lowly and shakes his head. “Whatever. Good night,_ angel.” _

Aleks should probably do something about Brett’s teasing nature, probably go about it the way Brett does whenever Aleks teases him. Surprisingly, it wouldn’t be the first time Brett teased Aleks like that this week.

Whether Brett’s a tease or not, Aleks still wants to start and end his days with him, along with spending near every second with him in between. Considering they have to get back up again in a few hours to make the drive over, starting the day with Brett is just the thing Aleks needs to help him get through the rest of it.

… unless Brett starts calling him daddy again, but Aleks will have something hidden up his sleeve for that.

* * *

The Let’s Play Reunion is set in a big ass mansion, so big that Brett thinks Tai Lopez himself is jealous of it. So many lamborghinis can fit in that garage! Both garages! Why somebody would need two garages, Brett doesn’t know, but he’s also not rich and he never will be.

That’s okay, Brett is rich in love!

… except he isn’t rich there either. He’s screwed on both ends, and it’s not in the sexy way.

The path after the gate is on a steep incline but Brett, Aleks, Jakob, Asher, and Trevor, manage to make it up to go through the front doors of the mansion. Jakob, Asher, and Trevor, filter off from Brett and Aleks and the both of them watch the trio push each other around like little kids as they race down into a random hallway.

“Do we really need to babysit them?” Brett sighs.

“Nah, they’re good,” Aleks says as he places a hand on Brett’s shoulder to give it a reassuring rub. “Can we leave now?”

Can they? Yeah, they can. They can just walk back out the door, take an Uber back home, and fuck each other stupid, leave the trio to fend for themselves, but they’re contractually obligated to be here.

They can leave, but they shouldn’t, so they won’t.

Brett doesn’t even fucking think they should be here because Cow Chop isn’t a part of Rooster Teeth and they’re sort of the black sheep of the supposed Let’s Play family and that’s fine, that’s their whole schtick, but he just doesn’t get it. Nonetheless, he needs to act as the responsible party if Aleks is going to be the one to bitch.

Brett snorts and shakes his head as he makes his way to the kitchen area. “We’re stuck here until tomorrow. How many times do I gotta beat that through your head?”

“You should beat my dick.”

“Hey, I hear there’s a lot of dick beating talk over here!”

_ Good ol’ Bruce. _

Brett and Aleks turn around when they hear Bruce’s voice and Brett gives Bruce a warm smile. “Hey, good to see somebody we get along with here!”

“And I can’t wait to leave!” Bruce laughs and moves forward to wrap his arms around Brett in a hug. “I hope we get to play with you guys today!”

“Yeah, out of everybody here, I wanna go against you guys the most.”

“I just think Funhaus and Cow Chop mesh well together, you know?” Bruce reasons as he pulls away from Brett.

“I don’t get a hug?” Aleks asks.

“Oh, I was never gonna forget about you!”

Brett swallows and turns his head the other way, rubbing at the nape of his neck while Bruce wraps his arms around Aleks in a tight hug.

_ Okay, you can leave now. _

It’s not that Brett is trying to be possessive. He knows Bruce is with Autumn now but he just… well, can you blame him for acting a bit awkward when Aleks’ past fuckbuddies get a bit too close? Even in a platonic hug, Brett can’t help the discomfort that ruminates in his stomach upon seeing the display of affection. At the very least, he and Bruce just had a one night stand and nothing more.

Now if, for example, Geoff were to come up and-

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Sir Aleksandr and Brett not the football player Hundley!”

_ God fucking damnit, fuck my ass with sandpaper. _

“Yo, Geoff!” Aleks exclaims.

“Hey, Geoff, I was wondering where you ran off too!” Bruce cheers.

“Hello, Geoff,” Brett mumbles as he very dismissively waves a hand, but keeps a smile.

It’s not Geoff’s fault that he used to date Aleks. It is, in actuality, Brett’s fault, becausehe’s the one that pushed Aleks to date him in the first place. He thought Aleks would be happy with him and he was!

… for a little under a month.

It was long distance and they didn’t see each other too much. It made sense for them to try out an open relationship thing considering that and Aleks made use of that opportunity! Yeah, he made use of it with Bruce of all people and that sort of led to the downspiral of his relationship with Geoff because he sort of didn’t tell Geoff about it but in Aleks’ defense, they didn’t really discuss the boundaries of their open relationship and it’s this whole big thing.

Anyways, their relationship didn’t last long but it ended on amicable terms. So amicable, that they still decided to meet up and fuck each other the next time Aleks came to Austin at RTX but uh, that’s when Aleks got lucky with a_ certain _ somebody else and that person and Aleks have been fucking for a good couple of months now.

“Brett, actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something!” Bruce says as he wraps an arm around Brett’s shoulder. “Mind if I steer you away?”

_ YES, I MIND. _

“Uhhh…” Brett looks back to Aleks with raised eyebrows. “Will you be okay by yourself?”

Aleks presses his lips together and looks from Geoff to Brett. “Actually, I was wanting you to-”

“Aleks is in good hands!” Geoff assures as he wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulder. “I won’t mind stealing him away from you for a bit while you and Bruce do your thing.”

Brett gives a smile so tight that he thinks his face will split open. “Great,” he says in a strained tone. “Keep an eye on him for me.”

Geoff steers Aleks towards the back door of the kitchen right as Bruce begins to steer Brett away. Brett and Aleks both look back to each other with slight frowns on their faces until Aleks disappears into the back outdoor area with Geoff. Brett’s frown widens and he looks down to the floor in front of him.

_ I miss him already. _

“So me and Autumn are finally together!” Bruce announces. “After weeks of just talking and getting to know each other, it’s a sure thing! And…”

Honestly? Brett kind of tunes out after that. He knows Bruce has been wanting to date Autumn for awhile and they’re actually pretty cute together but he just wants to be with Aleks. He wants to be the one walking around the mansion with him, talking to him about everything and nothing, maybe steal a few kisses or two in any hidden areas they see.

Now he has to worry about Geoff doing that with him. He has to worry about Geoff doing the same things he did to Aleks in that dream he had last night and why the fuck is he with Aleks anyways? Why doesn’t he go walk around and play kissy face with his best friend that he’s so in love with? That’s what Brett’s doing, or what he wishes to be doing!!

Not that he’s _ in love _ with Aleks. Hasn’t this been discussed before?

“... she’s just an absolute angel,” Bruce sighs.

_ Yeah, Aleks is mine. _

“But yeah, I just wanted to tell you about me and her!” Bruce pats Brett’s shoulder and looks over to him with a smile. “I also just wanted to talk to you! How’s it been, man? How’s your love life going?”

Brett snorts and looks up to Bruce. “What love life?”

“What about… your sex life?”

Brett briefly raises his eyebrows and looks up to the ceiling. “It’s uh…”

_ Aleks sobs when Brett tightens the hold on his throat, the collar pressing hard into his neck, and he stares up at him with his eyes glazed over in tears. “Da… daddy, daddy!” he cries through his tears. _

_ “You fucking slut,” Brett growls through gritted teeth as his hips still to a full halt inside Aleks. He brings up the other hand to slap Aleks across the face and Aleks cries out once again. “You’re nothing without me.” _

_ “N-Nothing!” Aleks gasps and shakes his head as he brings up his hands to hold onto Brett’s wrists. “Yes, I’m a slut, a-and I was made to be fucked by you, only you, and you fuck me so fucking good, daddy, you always do!” _

_ “All you even are is a fucktoy,” Brett tells him as he relaxes the hold on his throat before he begins the rough thrusts again. “And I’m gonna fucking fuck you like one until you break.” _

_ “Oh fuck, yes, yes, yes!” Aleks shouts. “Oh fuck, fuck me! Fucking break me!” _

Brett swallows down the moan threatening to escape and instead, a hot breath parts open his lips. “It’s uh, you know, good.” He nods. “Better than it ever has.”

A few days ago, he even got to fuck Aleks for the first time again after the night of hardcore sex they had and it might not have been kinky or dirty but sometimes, good ol’ light hearted sex is all Brett needs.

_ Aleks lulls his head back with a moan and then he drops it back forward with a smile. “Fuck, I missed having you in me,” he breathes. “Seriously feel so fucking good, dude.” _

_ “Trust me, that feeling is very mutual,” Brett chuckles and reaches his hands up, smiles when Aleks immediately latches onto them to intertwine their fingers. _

_ “You missed having me in you too?” Aleks grins and brings their joined hands up by his chest as he slows his hips on top of Brett to gently roll them back and forth. _

_ Brett raises an eyebrow and shrugs. “Not saying your tongue and fingers aren’t muy bueno but I’m not opposed to a little more sometime in the near future.” _

_ “Ooh,” Aleks whistles lowly and squeezes his hands. “You really know how to talk to a man.” _

_ “And you know how to ride a man.” _

Brett smiles and huffs a fond breath through his nose.

_ Nah, all I need is Aleks. _

“Been getting a lot more lucky with the girls ever since the uh, blood magic chick incident, huh?”

“Actually, it’s…” Brett presses his lips together and breathes in deeply.

_ Should I tell him? _

“It’s what?” Bruce furrows his eyebrows. “What happened?”

It’s not like Bruce would be against Brett for being into guys. How can he when he’s also into guys? Brett just doesn’t wanna make a spectacle of it, you know? It’s just a part of him like his astrological sign, his favorite color, his favorite sex position with Aleks, etc. so he doesn’t think it’s something worth discussing unless it happens to come up but it’s Bruce. He’s a cool guy, even if he did fuck Aleks before Brett got his chance.

Bruce wouldn’t make a big deal out of it either. What’s the harm in telling just one person?

Brett blows out a breath and shoves his hands into the pockets of his black Jackass hoodie and funnily enough, Aleks is wearing a black Jackass shirt. They didn’t even plan that! “Yeah, so uh, I’ve actually been fooling around with guys for a few months.”

_ Well that was easier than I thought. _

“Oh shit, seriously?” Bruce smiles and shoves his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “How long?”

“Since like, beginning of this year?”

“What!” Bruce exclaims. “That’s more than a few months! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want it to be a big deal!” Brett tells him. “Still don’t. And like, I’ve been trying to figure it all out and…” He shrugs. “And I’m pretty sure I’m bi.”

“So you’re bi?”

“Like I said, I’m pretty sure.”

“And Aleks? He’s bi?”

Brett laughs nervously and brings up a hand to rub the back of his neck. “I know where you’re going and… he is… yeah, he is not my type.”

“... so what is your type?”

Oh god damnit, Brett should have planned something! He usually has people all figured out! He has a knack for predicting conversations and how people will react but with how invested he is in Aleks, how much time he spends thinking about him, that ability of his is kind of rusty.

Thankfully, Brett is able to come up with an answer. He just doesn’t know if it’ll work for a guy like him.

“I’m into uh, big beefy guys.” Brett nods. “Yup. I’m a total uh. I’m a total buttslut. That’s what I am. A big ol’ bottom.”

_ Aleks would be proud of me. _

Bruce narrows his eyes at Brett in thought and even rubs his chin but he doesn’t think about it long, to Brett’s surprise. Bruce nods and says, “you know what? I can see that.”

“You can?”

“Back when you and I worked at Machinima together, you kinda gave off this vibe. Like, yeah, you’re this manly guy but you definitely wanna get fucked hardcore.”

Brett’s eyes widen and he just stares at Bruce, too taken aback to even reply to him.

He gave off the vibe of a _ bottom? _ How fucking long have gay guys been watching Machinima and looked at Brett and thought, _ “oh yeah, he definitely takes it up the ass” _? Brett’s never even taken it up the ass before, or thought about it until Aleks. Christ, he’s in the process of that right now with Aleks and he’s actually pretty excited about it.

Brett loves to let loose with Aleks and show off that submissive part of himself, that part of himself that needs to be taken care of and loved, the part of himself that needs to follow orders instead of dishing them out all the time. The image of him actually lying down for Aleks and spreading his legs, letting Aleks fuck him like he usually fucks Aleks is… breathtakingly hot.

_ Maybe Bruce has a point. _

“But yeah man, that’s cool.” Bruce nods. “I’m glad you found that out. Do you just bottom?”

“Uh, no, I’ve… topped a few times.”

“Then you should give fucking Aleks a chance,” Bruce suggests. “I only fucked him once but Brett,” he chuckles, “I still think about it sometimes. He really knows his way around.”

_ I know a lot more about it than you do. _

“You said you like to bottom? Aleks really likes to take charge while he’s taking it and he’s like… he is bossy, man.”

_ You should see him with me. _

“Even when I spanked him, he was still telling me what to do and shit.”

_ Alright, I think I get it. _

“Have Aleks ride you too because dude, he rides you like you’re _ nothing _ . And honestly, I’m fine being nothing with him because he’s _ that good.” _

_ Oh my god! You fucked Aleks! I get it! _

“Also, when you like, slide into him the first time, he gives these-”

“Yeah, he gives these long, super fucking pretty moans and talks about how great it is to be full, I get it!” Brett exclaims in an exasperated tone. “Aleks is a sex god! I’m the one fucking Aleks here, I know a lot more about what he’s like in bed so stop acting like-”

“Yeah, I know you’re fucking Aleks.”

“- you know so much better because I…” Brett squints his eyes together and crosses his arms over his chest. “Sorry, what?”

Bruce snorts. “Your possessive streak is funny, man. I knew that was gonna come back to bite you one day.” He shakes his head. “You didn’t fool me at all, I was just wanting you to finally admit it.”

Brett blinks a few times and gives a small frown. “Finally?”

Why is it so obvious, to some people, that he and Aleks are fucking each other? Even before they were actually fucking each other, people were thinking it! It’s like how some people online go even further with that and think he and Aleks are_ in love _ with each other because they’re not and Brett wonders what the fuck they do to give that impression.

If Brett was in love with Aleks, he’d know. He doesn’t need people on the internet telling him he does! And he’s uh… pretty confident that he’s not in love with him! Brett loves Aleks, absolutely, but loving somebody is different from being in love with them. He wants the best for Aleks, he wants Aleks to forever be happy, and preferably, he’d like for Aleks to forever be happy with him but that’s because he likes Aleks.

Brett_ isn’t _ in love with Aleks.

If he_ ever _ falls in love with Aleks, that moment will also double as the moment Brett realizes he needs so much more with him.

Brett _ can’t _ be in love with Aleks.

“At RTX, you and him were kind of uh…” Bruce hisses through his teeth and tilts his hand back and forth. “... a bit close. You guys made out at that bar and I wasn’t thinking anything of it, because you two were super drunk, but then the next night, when you had to go back to your hotel room for your ID and never came back out with me and Adam? We kinda made theories.”

“About me and Aleks?”

“Adam doesn’t think you two have anything going on,” Bruce points out. “But he’s also like, painfully straight.”

“... does anybody else know?”

“Elyse has her suspicions.” Bruce nods. “James jokes about it, but I don’t think he knows.”

“Well…” Brett shrugs and looks back to the kitchen area. “We’re just fucking.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t think you two are in love or anything,” Bruce scoffs. “Unless you guys like, sleep together every night and bathe together while you have these deep conversations about life and your feelings.”

_ Why is he so oddly specific? _

Brett’s lips press together and he breathes in deeply through his nose as he turns away from Bruce. “Uh, yup. We’re not in love. Never will be.”

He’ll never let his feelings for Aleks progress that far. He’ll make sure of it. He doesn’t think Aleks will fall in love with him either but, and he doesn’t wanna get his hopes up, he has the sneaking suspicion that maybe, just maybe, Aleks has… some sort of feeling beyond friendship for him. Not a crush, no, but there’s gotta be something more than just the sexual stuff on Aleks’ side.

Brett saw it in Aleks’ eyes before they were pulled away from each other by Bruce and Geoff. Somebody who only views Brett as a friend and nothing more would never look at him the way Aleks did in those moments.

In those moments, Aleks looked at Brett the same way Brett looked at him - like he was being taken away from the most important person in his life.

* * *

Brett is reunited with the most important person in his life a short time later. It still felt like light years in the time they were apart, but then it always feels like that.

By the time he and Aleks meet up again and actually immerse themselves into the actual population of the Let’s Play Reunion household, time continues as normal. The day at the reunion is just what Brett thought it’d be, a huge waste of time, but then he’ll look over at Aleks or Aleks will rub his shoulder and suddenly, it isn’t so bad.

Plus, he and Aleks were able to sneak away a few times to kiss and have hot makeout sessions. It’s not a total loss, and he _ was _able to film some cool behind the scenes content for the Patreon page. Aleks was the star of most of it and though Jakob, Asher, and Trevor pretty much did their own thing while Brett was filming, Brett still involved himself in all of Aleks’ shenanigans and gave Aleks his entire attention.

In the vlog of Brett’s life, Aleks is front and center, and he has been for a good part of this year. Actually, Aleks made a comment sort of like that while Brett was filming...

_ “Why are our Patreon videos just your secondary vlog channel?” Aleks teases with a chuckle. _

_ Brett snorts. “Hey, if you got something better, you let me know.” _

_ “It’s because he wants an excuse to film you,” Trevor says. _

_ “Out of all the eye candy in Cow Chop, I’d say Aleks gets the job done better than the rest of us,” Brett reasons as he turns off the camera. “Sex sells, Trevor.” _

… not that Trevor is entirely wrong when he says that, but that’s not something Brett can admit to.

Apart from the time spent with Aleks, the day isn’t too memorable. It’s night time now and Brett and Aleks have recluded themselves in their bedroom. The room, unfortunately, consists of two twin beds so they can’t sleep with each other at all but in Brett’s defense, he picked the room out before he and Aleks started fucking each other.

It’s still a nice room. There’s a sliding glass door that leads to the backyard, though the blinds have been pulled down for privacy. The beds are comfortable, there’s a sweet television set up, and the connecting bathroom more resembles a sauna - definitely what you’d expect from a mansion. 

After Brett changes into sweatpants and a tanktop, he goes to the mini fridge beside the the television set up but when he opens the door, there’s absolutely nothing to be found. His lips press together and he sighs through his nose as he shuts the door.

“I’m gonna grab a water real quick,” Brett announces. “You want anything?”

With a smirk, Aleks replies, “your dick.”

“You always want my dick.”

“Bears repeating.”

Brett grins and shakes his head as he walks over to press a kiss to Aleks’ cheek. “I’ll grab a bottle for you too, just in case.”

“Thanks a lot, daddy.”

Brett winks back at Aleks and walks over to the door. “No problem, angel.”

He exits their bedroom to make the trek to the kitchen area. It isn’t too far away and Brett had chosen the room with that in mind. Anytime he and Aleks are hungry, they can just walk the few steps out of the bedroom to grab a bite and easily come back. Brett wants to think he’s real smart for something like that but if he was, he’d know that entering this arrangement with Aleks in the first place isn’t the best idea.

Although considering that Aleks just might harbor a hint of feelings for him, he probably still has a semblance of intelligence after all. Love is complicated, so complicated that even the smartest person in the world won’t know how to properly handle it.

It’d make sense if Aleks had feelings for him though. It’d also make sense if Aleks just really appreciated Brett’s company. The scale is balanced precariously between these two options and Brett is afraid to add the weight to either side so he’s just not gonna touch it. Though he probably should… but how?

It’s not something he thinks about too long because as soon as he enters the kitchen area, he sees Geoff, _ GO AWAY!, _grabbing water from the fridge.

Geoff turns around to give Brett a friendly smile and he waves his hand. “Hey there!” he greets rather cheerfully.

“Hey!” Brett responds back in an equally cheerful tone. “How goes it, Ramsey?”

“I came here to win Aleks back and take his hand in marriage.”

“What?”

And in an instant, Geoff is wearing what looks to be a very expensive suit and his beard grows into a wonderfully maintained work of art, his eyes are bluer than ever, and light radiates from him like he’s the most important, awe-inspiring sentience in the universe.

“No longer will he be Aleks Marchant, but Aleks RAMSEY!”

Geoff throws his head back with the most evil of laughter and the light surrounding him dims into blackness, the rest of the room soon following. Brett tries to quickly run and catch him but he’s stuck in place and all he can do is watch as flames rise from the void, high into the darkness above, and they even shoot from Geoff’s tattooed hands.

“You can’t do anything about it, **vegan boy**!” Geoff shouts.

“I’M A VEGETARIAN!” Brett pitifully argues.

“And my dick IS WAY BIGGER THAN YOURS!”

“No!” Brett shakes his head. “Mine is! Aleks said-”

Oh my god, Geoff is fucking Aleks right in front of him! Aleks is wearing this super pretty white babydoll negligee too, and he’d never wear that for Brett! Oh no, Geoff’s dick is so huge too! It’s ginormous! It’s so much bigger than his own!!

“Geoff!” Aleks cries out. “Your dick is so much bigger than Brett’s! I’ll always wear lingerie for you!”

Brett looks down to see that he’s completely naked and his dick has shriveled in size to nothingness, much like how he feels right now as he watches Geoff fuck the most important person in his life, with the biggest dick Brett has seen in his life. It’s his actual nightmare from last night coming true!

“BRETT!” Bruce exclaims as he rushes into the kitchen with a scantron. “SURPRISE EXAM! IT’S 50% OF YOUR GRADE!”

Brett screams in agony and falls to his knees. “BUT I DIDN’T STUDY!”

Except none of that actually happened at all.

“Eh, nothing much!” is actually what Geoff replies with, in the same cheerful fucking tone as he always does. “I talked to Aleks today, he’s doing good as ever. But uh… I’m just curious.” He grins at Brett and untwists the cap from his water bottle. “What’s up with you two?”

Oh. Well that’s… marginally better. By a big margin, in fact.

Not as big as Geoff’s dick was in that nightmarish intrusive thought but-

_ Ahem. _

Brett clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. “What do you mean?” he asks as he leans back against the counter.

“You two are just uh, well, you’ve been a lot closer since RTX!” Geoff points out.

Oh for fuck sake, he already had this talk with Bruce! Is Brett a broken record? Why are people so curious about him and Aleks anyways? Why is their friendship of any concern to anybody? Brett understands liking gossip and he’s a big fan of it himself but not when he’s the center of it.

Brett gives Geoff a bit of a weird grin. “Uh, yeah, me and him got to bonding a bit more after you left him with blue balls in the hotel room.”

_ It’s not UNTRUE. _

Geoff is visibly taken aback and he gives a humorless chuckle. “Alright uh, guess that’s fair,” he says quietly. “So you saw Aleks after I left then?”

“Yeah.”

“By himself?”

“... yeah?”

Geoff purses his lips with a nod. “Okay,” he says. “So did you guys talk about me then after I left? Or like… did anything, maybe?”

Brett raises his eyebrows and the smile he gives is big, but devoid of any happiness. “Did anything?” He takes a few steps closer to Geoff. “What do you mean by did anything?”

What the hell is he trying to do right now? He’s asking so many questions about him and Aleks and at first, Brett thought he was just curious about _ them _, and he still thinks that’s the case, but now Brett thinks that Geoff is sniffing him out. He thinks Geoff wants to be sure there’s nothing going on because he wants to make a move on Aleks! Just like he did earlier in the day when he literally took Aleks away from him!

Geoff Ramsey is the devil incarnate. There’s no mistaking it now. He is _ Satan. _

_ VANQUISH THE DEMON. _

“Like, did you take him out or... “ Geoff shrugs. “Anything like that?”

“Why are you asking?” Brett interrogates. “Wanna make sure Aleks isn’t spoken for by anybody so you can go after him again?”

Geoff blinks a few times and the smile he gives mirrors Brett in its size and hidden motives. He clicks his tongue, swipes it against his lips, and he takes a deep breath as he sets aside the water bottle. Geoff meets up with Brett halfway and rubs his hands together. “Brett?” he asks.

“Geoff,” Brett says low.

“You know that I’m dating Gavin now, right?”

Brett’s mouth slightly widens in surprise and it opens and closes like a dumb fish gasping for air. “I… you? You’re dating Gavin?”

“Uh, yeah!” Geoff answers. “Have been for a few weeks now! Today’s sort of the first day we’re actually going public with it. Aleks didn’t tell you?”

Brett slumps and his shoulders hunch in on himself to look as small as he feels right now. “No,” Brett answers meekly. “He just told me you guys talked and walked around...”

That sounds like incredibly important information that Aleks should’ve told him so why didn’t he? What all did they talk about anyways? Will Brett ever find that out? Brett doesn’t want Aleks to transcribe their entire conversation but a tidbit like that should be something he shares so Brett doesn’t look like an absolute fucking asshole.

Geoff sighs and gives Brett’s shoulder a reassuring rub. “Yeah, that’s… all we did.”

“I-I figured,” Brett says quietly. “I didn’t… think anything else…”

Geoff narrows his eyes suspiciously at Brett and when Brett looks up, Brett rolls his eyes and says, “okay, yeah, obviously I thought something was going on-”

“You’ve been real protective of Aleks,” Geoff brings up as he steps away from Brett. “I mean, hey, he’s your best friend so I get it, but like… what’s going on with you guys?” he asks. “I know I already asked that, and you’ve probably heard that from a shit ton of people already-”

“Way too many.”

Geoff gives a small, almost apologetic smile and looks down to the floor. “Yeah, I’m… sorry to add to that count. But I’m not asking to gossip or whatever, I’m just…” He sighs through his nose and looks up to the ceiling. “Brett, I love Aleks-”

_ I KNEW IT! _

“- like a son.”

_ Oh. _

“... and I’m just looking out for him, the same way you are,” Geoff admits. “He’s important to me and yeah, me and him haven’t talked in awhile but I still look out for his well being, you know? He deserves to be happy so when I ask something like that, I’m not doing it because I want juicy details.”

Brett swallows and glances up to Geoff before he looks off in the direction of his and Aleks’ bedroom.

He and Aleks are just fucking… but then they’re not.

That was what it was intended at the start but now it’s ascended into something far greater and it’s not a relationship, god no, it’ll never reach those levels, but what they’re doing has meaning now. The sex is always fun but Brett doesn’t even look forward to that now.

He looks forward to the_ after _ , of holding Aleks in his arms, knowing that Aleks is safe, and the sex is only a vehicle that allows Brett to express to Aleks how he feels without _ really _expressing how he feels.

There’s no risk in this arrangement. That’s good because Brett doesn’t want to take too many risks with Aleks right now. He doesn’t want to lose this _ thing _ they’re creating with each other right now and he isn’t even sure what that thing is but it’s more than what they had in the beginning.

“It’s complicated,” Brett admits. “And I don’t…” He bites at his lips. “I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“I get complicated,” Geoff resonates. “Trust me.”

“I’m sorry for being kind of a dick,” Brett says.

Geoff smiles and swipes his bottle from the counter. “You’re just looking out for Aleks,” he says as he walks past Brett. “Nothing to apologize for. But Brett?”

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks up to Geoff.

“This is gonna sound a little bit random,” Geoff says, “but you and Aleks?” He nods and winks. “You two would be pretty fucking cute together.”

Then he disappears down the hall to leave Brett alone in the kitchen with his thoughts. Brett’s only thankful that these thoughts no longer include Geoff fucking Aleks with a gargantuan sized penis.

Brett watches Geoff leave with a sigh as he makes his way to the fridge to collect what he originally came here for. He grabs two water bottles and then he hits the door shut with his hip before he leans against the fridge in reflection over their conversation.

_ “You two would be pretty fucking cute together.” _

Brett isn’t denying that at all. He and Aleks would be adorable together, aesthetically and emotionally. Their looks complement each other but Brett thinks Aleks has things that he’s missing and vice versa. They’re two halves that come together to form a perfect whole but there’s a whole bunch of obstacles in the way preventing them from quickly doing so.

He thinks they’re two halves to this perfect whole, anyways.

Brett isn’t entirely sure how Aleks thinks and because of that, it’s not something he tries to think hard about. It’s like Aleks told him, he needs to think about the right here, right now.

Right here, right now, it’s fun.

Fun with meaning.

Brett just isn’t sure what exactly the meaning is.


	18. Gateway To Glimmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Geoff discuss important things with each other. Later, Aleks and Brett do important things to each other.

“Brett, actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something!” Bruce says as he wraps an arm around Brett’s shoulder. “Mind if I steer you away?”

_ Uhhh, I mind! _

“Uhhh…” Brett looks back to Aleks with raised eyebrows. “Will you be okay by yourself?”

Aleks presses his lips together and looks from Geoff to Brett. “Actually, I was wanting you to-”

“Aleks is in good hands!” Geoff assures as he wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulder. “I won’t mind stealing him away from you for a bit while you and Bruce do your thing.”

Of course Aleks will be okay by himself. He doesn’t need to be by Brett 24/7… but he _ wants _ to be by Brett 24/7. Why the hell are all of Aleks’ past fuckbuddies coming back to keep him and Brett apart? Can they just… I don’t know, leave them alone for a few minutes? At least let them make out with each other like military wives do with their husbands before they go off to war?

Brett gives a tight smile. “Great,” he says in a strained tone. “Keep an eye on him for me.”

Geoff steers Aleks towards the back door of the kitchen right as Bruce begins to steer Brett away. Brett and Aleks both look back to each other with slight frowns on their faces until Aleks disappears into the back outdoor area with Geoff. Aleks’ frown widens and he looks down to the grass in front of him

_ I miss him already. _

Geoff raises his head to peer through the kitchen window from outside to see Bruce and Brett talking. “Did he uh, actually ask if you’d be okay by yourself?” he chuckles. “You’re a grown man.”

“He’s just protective of me,” Aleks explains with a sigh. “It’s not that he doesn’t trust me alone or trust you or whatever.”

There’s no reason not to trust Geoff. He’s the most cool guy Aleks knows that isn’t Brett. They might not be meant for a relationship together but Geoff is still a man that Aleks looks up to and Aleks greatly appreciates his company. He wishes Geoff’s company was here in a different context but this time alone gives them an opportunity to catch up. They haven’t really talked to each other since Geoff suddenly proclaimed his love for Gavin and ran out of the hotel room.

But Aleks got to fuck Brett for the first time after Geoff left so he isn’t broken up about it at all.

“Protective is good!” Geoff says. “Not saying it isn’t! I’m glad somebody has been keeping an eye on you since I fucking left you with blue balls.”

Aleks chuckles and looks forward again. “You know what, it really wasn’t that bad. I’m not in my feelings about it.”

Now that he’s not sulking over Brett, he can take a moment to look around the outside and he realizes that it’s actually pretty nice out here. The grass is incredibly green, the view is magnificent, and the pool is one of those rich people pools where they have it set along a cliffside, as a way to look over and say _“fuck you!”_ to everybody else that’s literally beneath them.

Geoff is one of those rich people but not the kind Aleks will make fun of. Geoff doesn’t flaunt his wealth and he keeps to himself - it’s one of the reasons Aleks liked him. They’d probably continue to date each other too if Geoff wasn’t, you know, so in love with his best friend.

Speaking of best friends you’re in love with…

“Hey, uh, Geoff?” Aleks says.

“Hey, uh, Aleks!”

“You and Gavin…” Aleks rubs his hands together. “How uh, how are you guys?” he asks as he gives Geoff his attention. “Ever since you left my hotel room?”

“Oh yeah!” Geoff sends Aleks a bright smile before he tells him, “me and Gavin are together now. Made it official a few weeks ago!”

Oh! How wonderfully awesome for the two of them! It must be nice to date your best friend! Virtually everything stays the same, except there’s more sex, more cuddling, and more utterings of _ “I love you!” _ and that’s the kind of relationship Aleks wants. It’s the kind he fantasizes about with Brett, just not the I love you part… not that he doesn’t love Brett! Aleks absolutely does love Brett, uh, just not in that kind of way.

_ Wait, why just a few weeks ago? _

Aleks furrows his eyebrows. “A few weeks ago?” he repeats. “Why didn’t you make it official at RTX? Why not sooner?”

“Oh boy,” Geoff sighs. “Me and Gavin have a fuuucking complicated history, Aleks. There was a lot me and him had to talk about and discuss and we just became ready to do this a few weeks ago.”

“How complicated?” he asks.

Aleks isn’t asking because he wants the juicy details either. He just wants to know more about Geoff, about the person he looks up to, the person that made him realize older guys were pretty damn hot in the first place. Geoff is always gonna hold a special place in his heart for those reasons and he deserves to be happy.

“Dude, this thing with me and Gavin has been going on for years,” Geoff explains. “To make a long story short, it was just a bunch of fucking around at first and I wanted something, but he didn’t, then he wanted something and I didn’t, and it’s this big thing but we’re together now. Finally together,” he chuckles and looks out into the bright sky. “Long time coming but definitely worth it.”

_ “... it was just a bunch of fucking around at first.” _

Aleks bites at his bottom lip and looks over at the mansion itself.

_ I wish that could be me and Brett one day. _

“Enough about me and Gavin though!” Geoff wraps his arm back around Aleks’ shoulder and pats his chest. “How about you and Brett? Heard you two have been getting closer! Rooming together here too.”

“Y-Yeah, uh, it makes sense, because we live together.”

“Oh, of course! By the way? I learned that Brett _ wasn’t _that one night stand you had, back in our open relationship?”

What the fuck does Geoff mean by… oh. Right…

_ “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being older,” Aleks says. “And if you ask me, the older you are, the hotter. Think uh, two of the guys at this table know first hand, if you know what I’m sayin’.” He smirks and looks back and forth between Bruce and Geoff. _

_ Geoff blinks a few times and tilts his head curiously as he looks to Bruce. “You and Aleks had a thing? Out of curiosity, uh, how long ago was it?” _

_ “Aleks wasn’t talking about Bruce,” Brett says. “He was talking about me, it was like one drunk night a month and a half ago.” _

_ “Wait, hold on,” Geoff chuckles and sits up straight in his seat to raise a finger, pointing back and forth between the two. “You guys had a thing? Like, recently? You and Aleks?” _

It still remains the dumbest thing Aleks has done to this day. The words just came out so fast! Brett was there and Aleks was so comfortable with him, they were sitting next to each other, and Aleks was becoming increasingly more confident, to the point of… that.

Bruce was the only one who escaped that situation unscathed with Brett’s quick thinking, which was what Brett meant to do from the start. Though it’s kind of funny, in hindsight, because he and Brett fucked the next night. It’s retroactively true… or not, because it wasn’t a one night stand… or it kind of was at first.

But now it’s not.

Now, it’s this whole big thing with him and Brett.

Aleks blows out a breath and rubs the back of his neck. “So uh, you know that it’s-”

“Bruce?” Geoff finishes. “Yeah, but it’s cool. He was so fucking sorry about it and he felt so damn bad,” he chuckles. “We’re not even together anymore so it doesn’t matter. I should’ve fucking laid out the boundaries from the start, it’s my fault.”

“I don’t think it’s any of our fault,” Aleks assures. “It just-”

“Wasn’t meant to be?”

Aleks gives a small smile and a nod. “Yeah. That’s it.”

“I enjoyed every second we spent together, Aleks,” Geoff tells him with a smile of his own. “Even the bad seconds. You’re a joy to be around.”

Maybe there’s some other timeline where he and Geoff are still together. They probably wouldn’t be in an open relationship either - it’d be exclusive and they’d only be devoted to each other. It sounds nice but unless Aleks can be in a timeline that involves dating Brett and living happily ever after, he wants to stay in this one.

“So we talked about me and Gavin,” Geoff says. “We talked about you and Bruce, very briefly, now let’s go back to you and Brett!”

“You wanna know if we’re fucking each other, huh?”

“More or less.” Geoff nods. “I don’t wanna know because I want juicy details, I just-”

“No, I know it comes from a good place,” Aleks sighs. “It’s just…” Aleks presses his lips together and looks out into the sky. “It’s like you and Gavin, it’s complicated.”

“Ahhh…” Geoff smacks his lips together. “So you guys really are uh…”

“Yeah,” Aleks admits quietly. “And I want more.”

“Alright bud, let’s go take a seat and actually talk about this.”

Talking about his feelings for Brett might actually do Aleks some good. He wasn’t expecting to discuss this at all today, or ever, but it’s out in the open and Aleks knows that he can trust Geoff not to tell anybody. If he keeps these emotions bottled up, it’ll only do him harm.

Geoff walks with Aleks towards some high shrubs but around the high shrubs is a convenient grotto where they can sit in the dirt and gaze out into the rich suburbs. It’s very private and though it’s only a few steps away from the pool area, the shrubs do a great job in hiding it.

“So you like Brett, huh?” Geoff asks as he plops a seat on the ground.

“A lot,” Aleks answers. “I have for awhile.”

“Like… when we were dating, awhile?”

“No, definitely not.” Aleks shakes his head… but then it stops and with a frown, he goes on to say, “well, yeah and no. Like, I used to have this big crush on him. He’s what made me realize I was into guys in the first place but I thought I was over it. And then we fucked and…” He huffs a breath through his nose. “I guess it never went away,” he admits quietly.

Geoff gives a solemn nod and looks out from the suburbs to Aleks. “When did you guys do it for the first time?”

“At RTX,” Aleks answers.

“RTX?” Geoff raises his eyebrows with a grin. “When the hell did that happen?”

Heat rises to Aleks’ cheeks and it helps in lifting up the corner of his lip into an almost sly grin. “It was after you left my hotel room,” he says.

“You big slut!” Geoff exclaims and gives Aleks a bright smile. “That’s awesome!”

“_ He _ was awesome.” Aleks’ grin graduates into a dreamy sort of smile and he pulls his knees up to his chest, rests his chin on top and wraps his arms around his legs. “It was like, everything I expected… but nothing I expected.” His eyes squint together. “Does that make sense?”

“How I felt when me and Gavin did it for the first time,” Geoff says. “So you guys fucked, you realized you liked him after that?”

Aleks shakes his head. “That was the second time. Cause he left to go to this Overwatch World Cup thing and we kind of agreed to fuck again when he got back, and then we did and after that, I told him, like, that we should fuck a lot more, you know?”

“Ooh, so you two are friends with benefits?”

Aleks’ smile falls enough for him to press his lips together. “Yup,” he confirms. “Realized I never stopped crushing on him after that. Good timing, huh?”

Geoff frowns at Aleks and reaches his hand over to rub it up and down his back. “That fucking blows, dude.”

“Wish it blew in the sexy way,” Aleks mumbles.

Geoff chuckles and raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Can’t tell you how many times I thought that,” he murmurs. “So it’s been a few months now?”

“Just about,” Aleks sighs. “I don’t even know if he likes me. It’s like, so fucking weird, he says that he doesn’t wanna date people he works with but then me and him have sort of been going on these dates and now we sleep with each other most nights, even when we’re not having sex, and he just says things sometimes that makes me…” He bites at his lips and shakes his head. “I don’t know, dude,” he says quietly. “I have no fucking idea what’s happening.”

Geoff clicks his tongue and breathes in deeply. He takes his hand off Aleks’ back and leans against the shrubs, settles his arms by his sides to hold himself up as he says, “honestly? And I don’t mean to keep comparing you guys to me and Gavin, but that’s exactly how it fucking was with me and him. It took me and him awhile but we’re dating now.” He shrugs. “Don’t give up hope, dude.”

“You think there’s a chance there?”

“Do you have any reason to believe Brett wouldn’t like you?”

“He said he doesn’t-”

“Doesn’t wanna date people he works with, yeah, that’s not saying he doesn’t like you.” Geoff raises a pointed eyebrow at Aleks. “Sounds like he’s just scared to me and he’s using that as an excuse.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together and brings his head up from his knees.

He’s never thought that before, that Brett could’ve simply been using that as an excuse. It doesn’t 100% mean that Brett likes him but that possibility is there… much like the possibility that Brett just doesn’t like him, but Aleks’ belief in that is fading the more time goes on with them.

It’s a glimmer of hope but Aleks will take any glimmer he can in this dark void of endless possibilities. 

From glimmer of hope, however, arises two problems - how long is Brett going to be scared and how long can Aleks wait?

“And Aleks? My advice?”

Aleks looks over to Geoff and raises his eyebrows.

“Love is fucking complicated, but it’s fucking worth it,” Geoff explains. “Don’t be afraid to take risks with love.”

“And you took a bloody lot of ‘em with me!”

Geoff immediately perks up at the sound of a British accent and every single feature on his face lights up. “Where the hell has your dumbass been?” he asks, his vitriolic words dipped heavily in fondness.

“There was some issues with the cameras, had to step in.” Gavin shrugs and looks over to Aleks with a smile. “Has my boyfriend been troubling you long?”

Aleks snorts and shakes his head. “Nah, he’s actually been a big help,” he says as he stands up from the dirt, wiping it off his pants. “But he’s all yours now.”

“Hey, I still need to give you a quick tour!” Geoff mentions as he stands up.

“Ooh, good idea,” Gavin says. “It’s bloody huge here, you’ll get lost if you don’t have an inkling of knowledge as to where you’re going.”

Geoff asks, “Gavin, how about you help me?” and then he leans over to mumble into Aleks’ ear, “I have a feeling if Brett sees me alone with you, he won’t like it too much.”

Geoff seems strangely confident about him and Brett. Aleks appreciates it.

Somebody has to be confident in their future together. Aleks is pretty damn glad that somebody is a person who’s been through it all before.

They walk away from the grotto and Geoff and Gavin proceed on their house tour, making sure to include Aleks in their conversation so he doesn’t feel like a third wheel, though Aleks still feels like one anyways with how obviously into the other they are.

He’s not complaining though. Geoff seems happier than ever. Aleks just hopes he too can achieve that kind of happiness with his best friend one day… though he wonders how long it’ll be until that happens.

_ If _it happens.

* * *

“I’m gonna grab a water real quick,” Brett announces. “You want anything?”

With a smirk, Aleks replies, “your dick.”

“You always want my dick.”

“Bears repeating.”

Brett grins and shakes his head as he walks over to press a kiss to Aleks’ cheek. “I’ll grab a bottle for you too, just in case.”

“Thanks a lot, daddy.”

Brett winks back at Aleks and walks over to the door. “No problem, angel.”

Aleks watches Brett to make sure he’s left the room and then he quickly turns onto his back. He swiftly pulls off the sweatpants to expose his red jockstrap and all familiar black thigh highs, tosses the pants to the side, and grabs his phone before he lies out along the bed, right on his stomach.

_ Brett better go crazy for this jockstrap. _

Though the jockstrap is admittedly quite comfortable, even if it is kinda weird for his ass to be so exposed. It’s still better than the alternative -_ panties. _ Why is Brett even into that shit? Aleks doesn’t get why he’d wanna see a guy in girly clothes and yes, he knows they’re not just meant for girls, or so Brett says, but he can’t help but associate them with being girly and thus threatening his masculinity.

Maybe if people didn’t call Aleks a pretty twink all the time, treating him like he’s less of a man for being pretty with somewhat feminine features, he wouldn’t have a problem with it, but they do so he does. Just because he doesn’t understand it, however, doesn’t mean he doesn’t support it. He just won’t ever take part in it… not anytime soon.

Then again, Aleks resorted himself to a pretty twink when Brett fucked him all night last week, but that was by his own doing. It’s different with Brett too… following that train of thought, it should be okay to wear lingerie for Brett but it’s still just a personal thing for Aleks. 

At least with Brett, he’s moved the lingerie into _ “ask me again a thousand more times and I’ll reconsider” _ territory from _ “absolutely never and I’m reporting you to the cops for this” _territory.

They had actual sex again a few days ago, which is always fun and dandy, but sometimes Aleks just wants to do… everything else.

There’re so many other ways to have fun that aren’t penetration and Aleks is greatly enjoying it. He intends to continue that tonight with Brett - specifically, putting Brett in the position that Brett usually puts him in. The jockstrap and thigh highs simply serve as bait to get Brett to do his bidding… but he’s also doing it to make Brett happy.

He likes to do these things for Brett, just as much as he likes to do things _ to _ Brett. It’s partly why Aleks has enjoyed doing other things besides sex in these past few days. It allows them to explore with each other, get used to trying new things, and one of the things Aleks wants to get used to is placing Brett in the bottom role.

He knows Brett does too, and after their discussion in the bathtub, Aleks really thinks that taking care of Brett the way Brett takes care of him will do him some good.

_ What’s taking him so long anyways? _

Aleks furrows his eyebrows and looks back to the door from his phone. After a few seconds of Brett still not showing up, he just shrugs and goes back to mindlessly scrolling through Twitter. He shifts around on the bed and spreads his legs, props his ass in the air too so Brett will have something nice to look at when he enters the room again.

The sounds of footsteps grow louder and Aleks bites down hard on his lips to stifle the big smile. He breathes in deeply and taps his fingers against the bed, the tapping quickening as the anticipation rises within.

The doorknob turns and it’s soon followed by a soft click to signal the door has been closed. Aleks doesn’t have to look behind him to confirm that Brett is back, he’s been living with Brett long enough now that he can tell it’s him by his footsteps, by the way the atmosphere in the room changes, so many small factors that tell Aleks, _ Brett is here. _

Aleks’ chest tenses, his breath hitches when the bed dips underneath, and his lips roll back with a hum at the spank to his ass. He pushes his ass back into the touch and he lets go of his lips to allow a smile to break through when big hands proceed to massage his asscheeks.

“Remember when I said I can have you any way, any time?” Brett tells him with a quiet voice.

“Mmm, I’m all yours, daddy,” Aleks murmurs. “Have your way with me.”

Brett’s possessive nature is hot and Aleks is a big fan of it, especially when it’s coupled with his protectiveness. Actually, it’s much more hot when Brett is protective of him, like he was earlier today…

_ “Duuude, Aleks, what happened to your Snapchat, dude?” Trevor asks. _

_ “Can you shut the fuck up?” Aleks teases. “I’m trying to give you a tour of my mansion here.” _

_ They’re filming more content for the Patreon page. Admittedly, Aleks isn’t too in the mood to put on a character for the camera but it’s different if he’s doing it for Brett’s sake - especially if Brett seems to be enjoying it. _

_ “All you do is post on Instagram,” Trevor says. “And your face is too ugly for it.” _

_ Laughter spills from Asher, Jakob, and Brett, like it’s the funniest fucking thing in the world… except for Aleks, who just looks at Trevor with an unsure, almost uneasy expression. His lips are pressed together, his eyes are squinted, and he’s actually a bit offended. He knows it’s stupid too, because they’re just jokes, but… _

_ “Am I really ugly?” Aleks asks as Brett lowers the camera - he’s not even laughing like everybody else anymore. _

_ “No, no!” Trevor assures. “You’re-” _

_ “Hold on, let’s take a look at who’s calling who ugly here, okay?” Brett chuckles humorlessly and slides the camcorder into the pocket of his hoodie. “Trevor, you got a fucking lazy eye. Asher, you have moles on every square _ ** _centimeter_ ** _ of your body, and Jakob, you’re…” He presses his lips together. “Fine, I guess you’re safe but guys, get real, Aleks is the most societally attractive of all of us. None of you have legs to stand on.” _

_ Aleks smiles at Brett and ducks his head, looks out the other way from everybody so they don’t see the blush rising. _

_ “That’s like, the second time today you’ve called Aleks hot, right?” Trevor asks. “You’re biased.” _

_ “Biased, but right,” Brett tells him before he takes out his camcorder again. “Now where were we?” _

Aleks kind of worries that Trevor will take it personally but it’s just Brett’s way of showing he cares, albeit aggressively, but Aleks likes knowing that somebody cares for him that much, worries over him that much, to the point of asking him if he’ll be okay by himself. Everybody wants to be loved and cared for and Aleks isn’t immune.

For all the internal complications this arrangement brings, Aleks loves it when he can get lost in moments like these. Geoff’s words from earlier have certainly helped with that as well. Now, Brett’s hands are gonna do the honor of pushing him further into this dreamy mist… for a few minutes, until Aleks turns it all around. After all, Brett deserves to be taken care of too.

It’d seriously be easier to just tell Brett he wants this, but Aleks did kind of want an excuse to wear a jockstrap for him so he might as well make a convoluted plot out of it.

“Damn right you’re mine,” Brett whispers as he gives Aleks another spank and he grins when Aleks moans. “Love it when you moan for me.”

“I’ll moan again if you do it again,” Aleks hints.

_ Spank. _

“Fuck,” Aleks moans and pushes aside his phone. “Show me how much you love my ass, daddy.”

“Especially love your ass in _ these. _” Brett slides his finger under the back waistband of the jockstrap and lets it snap back against Aleks’ skin. “Makes what I’m about to do to you so much easier.”

Aleks sighs with relief, lids his eyes shut, and smiles when Brett presses his tongue flat against his hole to eat him out. He bites at his lips and gyrates his hips around Brett’s tongue, drags his nails into the comforter for purchase. “How do I taste?” he asks.

“So fucking good,” Brett groans and quickly trails his tongue up and down. “I want you to do something for me, angel.”

“Say the word.”

“Crawl back here,” Brett tells him. “Think we can do each other both a favor.”

“Ooh, I love me a good 69.” Aleks waggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner with a grin as he crawls back atop Brett’s body.

“And I love me a good piece of your ass.” Brett grabs Aleks’ thighs to force him closer on top his body and then he spreads apart Aleks’ asscheeks to get a better look at his hole.

“That doesn’t sound correct,” Aleks points out. “Like, I get you were trying to copy what I said-”

“Is this really what you wanna talk about when I’m about to eat your ass and you’re about to suck my dick?” Brett chuckles and brings his head to the side to look at Aleks with slightly raised eyebrows.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Aleks sighs and closes his eyes with an obscene moan. “Ooh, _ daddy, _ that sounds so _ wrong, _” he purrs. “I know-”

“That isn’t what I meant either, you fucking _ dingus, _” Brett laughs and shakes his head. “Can you shut yourself up with my dick already?”

“All you had to do was ask,” Aleks mumbles as he grabs the sides of Brett’s sweatpants to push them down his legs, along with his briefs, enough to expose his thickness - as well as his ass, the main attraction in Aleks’ mind, but they’ll get to that.

He takes Brett into his mouth the same moment Brett goes back to rimming his ass and Aleks moans at the combination of Brett’s taste and his skillful tongue. Aleks spreads his legs wider and wraps his fingers around Brett’s shaft as he begins to quickly bob his head on his length, fingers jerking off what he isn’t currently reaching.

Brett groans at the rapidly coursing pleasure and he gives Aleks’ ass a gentle smack to show his approval. Aleks grunts at the slight pain but the grunt evolves into another moan when Brett sinks his nails into the flesh of his asscheeks and presses his tongue inside his ass to begin its eager exploration. Aleks closes his eyes tightly and tries not to focus on his pleasure, he needs to focus on Brett, on turning this around so he can _ dominate _ Brett, but they can have this fun before the main event - just not too much.

With a deep breath, Aleks takes off his hand so he can take all of Brett’s length but he only manages to stay down there for a few seconds before he’s pulling back up to the head to gag and gasp for air. As he takes a few moments to regain his energy, the pleasure spikes in his body and he has no idea what the fuck Brett’s tongue is doing for that to happen but it’s so good, so damn good, and it’s enough to make Aleks throw his head back with a cry before he presses his face into Brett’s thigh.

“Good boy,” Brett mumbles around his hole. “Keep making noise, daddy wants to know how good he’s doing.”

“So good,” Aleks breathes. “You’re _ always _so good, daddy…”

Brett always does a great job. That’s one of the few constants in life, like death and taxes, but can he not be a sex god right now when Aleks is trying to sneak Brett into being a bottom? How the hell is he supposed to do that if Brett pushes him into that space first?

_ Just focus, stop worrying - oh fuck! _

“Fuck, _ Brett,” _ Aleks moans when Brett pushes in a finger and he presses his covered cock against Brett’s chest to grind back and forth.

“Gonna get you open real soon, I promise,” Brett assures.

That’s not what Aleks wants! Well, it’s kind of what he wants. Aleks is like the Hulk but instead of always being angry, he always wants Brett inside him. He’d appreciate it a lot if he wasn’t focused on doing something else in their sexual games but he knows that’s going to be impossible to accomplish when Brett pushes him into that submissive state of mind.

Brett’s tongue, his fingers, they both feel amazing - they always do - but Aleks needs to put it to a stop. Damnit, he wants to play with Brett’s ass and Brett’s not gonna take that from him!

Unless Brett doesn’t want to, then that’s totally fine. Aleks will have no problems being the awesome bottom that he is but he’s also like, an awesome top when he wants to be.

Aleks bites down hard on his lips in an attempt to divert the growing pleasure and he rolls his hips up and away from Brett’s mouth. “Brett, hold up a minute.”

Brett frowns at the back of Aleks’ head. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You’re too fucking good.”

Brett blinks a few times and tilts his head, furrows his eyebrows in slight confusion. “Too… good? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s a great thing,” Aleks sighs and looks over to Brett’s dick as he pokes it with a finger. “But I don’t want my ass to be the focus tonight. I want it to be yours.”

Brett sighs in relief and runs his hands back through his hair with a smile. “Why didn’t you just say that?!” he exclaims with a laugh. “I’m totally fucking fine with that dude.”

“Well yeah, I know you’d be fine but like, I put on this outfit, you know?” Aleks sits up fully on Brett’s body, still looking at his dick - it’s a nice penis, alright? “Well, I guess it’s not much of an outfit. But I figured I’d let you do whatever you want to me in it… for a little bit, and then I’d just kinda… I had it all planned.”

“I can not believe you calculated a plan to play with my asshole.” Brett shakes his head and sits up against the back of the headboard. “But I’m flattered. How were you intending it to go?”

“So like, you’d rim me and then I’d offer to suck you off and I’d just sort of let my tongue wander down to your ass and I’d go from there.” Aleks shrugs. “Not much of a big plan.”

“It’s a valiant effort, for sure, but you seriously could’ve just asked. I mean, I wanna destroy you in this but hey,” Brett chuckles and shrugs, “I don’t mind you destroying _ me _ in this, you know what I’m saying?”

Aleks snorts and brings his hands down to play with the waistband of his jockstrap. “If we’re following that logic… say I wanted to wear lingerie,** and I don’t,** but if I did, you’d actually want me to fuck you in it? Or you wouldn’t mind?”

Brett’s face lights up and he looks to the back of Aleks’ head. “Is that an offer?” he asks hopefully.

_ How fucking devoted is he to this fetish? _

“So that’s a yes then?” Aleks asks.

“Aleks, I’d say yes to anything with you,” Brett tells him. “Look at me.”

Aleks turns around on Brett’s lap to look down into his eyes and he raises his eyebrows in a silent invitation for Brett to keep talking.

“The outfits I want you to wear are just a nice, visual bonus.” Brett smiles and looks to Aleks’ jockstrap. “It’s the icing on top of the cake.” His gaze drifts back up into Aleks’ eyes and his smile brightens. “The already _ very _ hot cake, I should say.”

Aleks lips stretch upwards at the corners into a wide, sweet smile, his eyes squint together, and he ducks his head to watch his hands run up and down Brett’s naked chest.

_ You’re sweet as cake… nah, he’s sweeter than that. _

“So Aleks,” Brett says, “what exactly were you planning to do with my ass tonight?”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and looks over to his backpack. “I actually brought something with me, you mind if I get it?”

“Is it the massager?”

“Eh, no, it’s… a new thing.” Aleks pats Brett’s chest before climbing off the bed. “Not new for me, but definitely for you.”

He walks over to unzip his backpack and rummages around inside. Aleks peers in to get a better look and once he spots it, he pulls it out and into the open.

Brett exclaims, “ah!” as he pulls off his sweatpants and briefs entirely. “You wanna use a dildo on me?”

“Are you comfortable taking it?” Aleks asks. “I’d like, open you up for it, of course. Figured if I’m gonna fuck you one day, we need to actually get you used to the feeling. Maybe you can even like… fuck yourself with it?” He shrugs and climbs back onto the bed. “I dunno, just do whatever you wanna do. Whatever you’re comfortable and happy with.”

“I’m comfortable and happy with whatever _ you _ are comfortable and happy with.” Brett smiles, looks down to the dildo, and takes a long, deep breath. “But uh, I am thankful that this is a little bit below average size.”

“No, I’m definitely going to get a 9 inch dragon dildo for you to use your first time,” Aleks says in monotone as he sets the dildo aside on the nightstand. “Although now I’m a bit worried because I’m above average-”

“That’s you though,” Brett reasons. “You could have a 25 foot long dick and we’ll fucking find a way to make it fit, okay?” He shifts around on the bed to get comfortable and spreads his legs. “How do you wanna start this off?”

Such a crude statement, yet such a sentimental one that makes Aleks’ heart twitch along with his dick. It’s things like that which hit most of his chords, not the perfectly flowing descriptions that could be taken from award winning novels but rather the weird, unique combination of words that only one person could think of.

That kind of statement is uniquely Brett. Aleks could never see that coming from an old girlfriend or Geoff… well, maybe Geoff, but it wouldn’t tug Aleks’ heartstrings like it does coming from Brett.

It’s no time for sentimentals, however. There’ll be time to think about that once he’s done with Brett tonight.

Aleks lowers himself onto his stomach and crawls up between Brett’s legs. He raises his eyebrows at Brett and grins as he tells him, “hold back your legs for me.”

Brett licks along his lips in anticipation as he grabs the back of his knees to bend his legs back, his knees by his chest. “If you’re gonna do what I think you’re gonna do, then I’ll brand myself a buttslut for you right now.”

“Guess you’re a buttslut now.” Aleks winks and keeps his eyes on Brett as he sticks the tip of his tongue against his hole to lap quickly at the opening.

“Oh fuck, _ fuck, _ I missed that,” Brett moans and lays his head back on the pillow with closed eyes. “Okay, yeah, I’m absolutely a buttslut. Give me more.”

Pft, Brett says that like Aleks hasn’t thought about everything he wants to do to him. Maybe he didn’t fully think out his plan to get here but everything after that was easy.

_ Oh, Brett, _ Aleks thinks, _ sweet, sweet, Brett, this is only the beginning... _


	19. White Hole Of Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fun game of role reversal, Aleks and Brett make big plans for the end of 2017 together.

The beginnings of playing with Brett’s ass goes off without a hitch.

Aleks actually finds it inspiring how quickly Brett has taken to it. They’ve only started with this particular facet of their sex life at the beginning of this month but Brett’s sort of a natural bottom.

There’s no complaints of weird feelings and he hasn’t told Aleks to slow down or stop. Brett follows the flow of Aleks’ tongue and fingers, he eagerly gives himself into Aleks’ ministrations, and he’s expressed his high satisfaction with long moans and loud cries, _ beautiful _cries of Aleks’ name, in fact.

Aleks can’t remember the last time he’s been so turned on being a top but he knows why this is as hot as it is,

It’s _ Brett. _

Brett’s the manliest man Aleks knows. He’s so big and he’s so strong, but right now, he’s currently laying on his back with his head lying over the edge of the bed as Aleks fucks his throat and he’s really becoming acquainted with that dildo Aleks pulled out from his backpack.

Brett is usually such a dominant man with Aleks and he does an amazing job at it so to see him in such a submissive state, to see him obviously enjoying it, is a big factor in Aleks’ own enjoyment and pleasure. He sort of wonders if there’s a deeper reason Brett is acting like this for him but not everything has to have some deep meaning to it.

Sometimes things just are.

Aleks is only wearing the thigh highs now and as Brett steadily fucks himself with the dildo, he has his other hand clutching tightly into the material of them for purchase. Aleks’ cock quickly thrusts in and out of his throat and Brett moans loudly around Aleks’ length when Aleks forces it all the way down.

Aleks moans his pleasure and rests a hand on top Brett’s throat, where his cock is currently sheathed. “You suck dick so good, daddy,” he praises as his gaze flickers down the length of Brett’s body and he grins when he sees Brett’s hand quickening. “You like gagging on me and my dick?”

Brett can only moan in response and dig his nails harder into Aleks’ skin. His eyes are screwed tightly shut, not that Aleks can see it from above. It’s a little bit disappointing because he’d love to see if Brett’s eyes get as wet as his whenever Aleks gags on dick, or if Brett looks up to him like a god - though the latter happens regardless of whether or not Aleks tops.

Aleks brushes his thumb back and forth along Brett’s throat in a soothing manner and then he gives his throat a gentle squeeze as he pulls out completely. “Suck my balls,” Aleks demands.

He watches Brett fuck himself while Brett laves his balls with attention, a lot of it, and he moans at the sight. Brett lets go of Aleks’ thigh and moves it down the length of his body, past his crotch, to splay out among his own thigh and his nails sink into his own flesh.

Aleks remembers the first time he used a dildo. It wasn’t as enthusiastic as this, but it was up there. Maybe Brett’s just a better bottom than him and Aleks could definitely believe it. Brett’s a sex god in practically every other fucking field, he sucks Aleks off like a pro, rims him like one, fucks him like one, so it would make sense for him to take cock as good as he does everything else.

Is he jealous? A little bit, but it’ll only serve as motivation to continue being the best bottom he can be for Brett! Right now, however, he needs to be the best top he can be for Brett and while he thinks he’s done a great job at that, he’s close to coming so he really needs to assert his authority more than ever.

“I love the way you taste, angel,” Brett breathes out almost needily, so unlike the low tone he reserves for Aleks in these occasions. He lets go of his own thigh to guide the head of Aleks’ cock along his lips and he moans at the taste salty precome. “Love the way you fuck my throat too, god, I love everything you do to me.”

“Really like the way I taste, daddy?” Aleks asks, and he groans when Brett sticks out his tongue to sloppily lap at his head.

“Yeah,” Brett moans. “It’s the only thing I want, angel. I wanna taste you, I wanna be covered in you, I just wanna be so fucking full of you.”

_ Where the fuck did he learn to say that shit? _

And honestly, Aleks wouldn’t mind it if Brett wanted to call him daddy too, it’d actually be hot, but these are their already established pet names with each other. It’d be a bit weird to go out of the way to use the opposite pet names. Ugh, _ pet names, _ Aleks thinks that like they’re…

_ … anyways. _

“Wanna be covered in me, huh?” Aleks chuckles and quickly begins to jerk himself off, groaning when the pleasure in his stomach rises.

Brett’s eyes flicker to Aleks’ hand and he licks along his lips with a hungry moan. “Yes, angel,” he says. “Please, come all over my face.”

For somebody that hates having anything touch his face, Aleks doesn’t really mind doing that to others. In his defense, those people want it, and Aleks never wants it. Ever.

Though he could make an exception for Brett if Brett was really dying to do that with him. It’s more than he can say for that lingerie fetish of his.

(Or so Aleks wants to think.)

Aleks grits his teeth together before he runs them along his bottom lip and his eyes lid into slits. “Whatever you want, daddy,” he breathes. “Close your eyes.”

He backs away and uses the other hand to latch firmly in Brett’s hair to keep his head in place. Aleks aims his cock directly above his lips and tries his best to keep his sights on Brett’s face but the closer he gets, the more the pleasure webs throughout, it becomes harder and harder to do.

By the time the pleasure spills over, Aleks’ eyes flutter shut with a loud moan and his hand moves in a blur, up and down, as the come spills from his cock and onto Brett’s face. Brett moans with each drop that lands and he even sticks his tongue out to catch any that fall over his lips. Midway through Aleks’ orgasm, he manages to open his eyes enough to see the glory unfold and Brett’s expressions and noises only aid in his pleasure.

When Aleks comes down from his climax, his moans devolve into heavy breaths as he tries to regain his energy. He lets go of his cock and all that’s left now is to get Brett off but he can’t even set forth on doing that because Brett is… jesus, he is really into this. Aleks is too taken aback by how hot this is that he can’t really find it in himself to do or say much of anything.

Brett drops the dildo to the bed and lids his eyes open at Aleks as he feeds some of Aleks’ come into his mouth. He moans around his fingers and Aleks moans at the sight, watches him in pure mesmerization, so eager to see what Brett will do next. Hey, maybe it’ll even give him a few ideas.

Brett feeds a few more drops into his mouth but he has a different destination in mind for the last few drops of come he swipes up. These fingers hover down his body and Aleks follows their every moment, down to the millisecond, and his eyes widen in awe as he watches Brett finger the come inside his own hole, constant moans falling from Brett’s lips.

_ Holy shit, I need to let Brett come on me so I can do that. _

“Jesus christ, you’re so fucking hot,” Aleks whines. “Where’d you learn to do all of this, Brett?”

“Maybe I just wanted to be a slut for you that bad.” Brett winks up at Aleks before he turns around to settle on his knees. “You want more?”

Aleks just stares openly at Brett and nods.

Brett chuckles at his reaction and backs up against the headboard. He props his upper body against it and crosses an arm behind his head, raises his eyebrows at Aleks and tells him, “pick up that dildo.”

Aleks blinks over at the dildo and quickly grabs it from the bed. He climbs on top and then he crawls over to Brett’s side, eagerly awaiting his next instructions.

_ Wasn’t I supposed to tell him what to do? _

“So you want more?” Brett asks to confirm.

“Yeah,” Aleks breathes. “I don’t… know what more is, but I just know I want it.” He chuckles and looks down to Brett’s ass.

“Well your daddy still has to come,” Brett reminds him. “I want you to fuck daddy with that dildo while he gets off. Can you do that, angel?”

Aleks doesn’t really know who the top is right now… he’s pretty sure it’s still him. Except Brett’s the one telling him what to do. But Brett’s still taking it. But then Brett’s the one clearly radiating dominant energy at the moment. Aleks feels both like a top and a submissive - a submissive top.

Doesn’t that have a name? Like… a service top? Is that what he is?

He almost wonders why he’s never been like that with anybody before but he’s also never been completely submissive for anybody before, not until Brett - for good reason.

Aleks looks back up to Brett and leans over his lips to whisper, “anything for you, daddy” and he seals their lips together.

While they kiss, Aleks gradually trails the head of the dildo down Brett’s torso. It glides over his belly button before it makes its way over Brett’s thigh and Brett lowers himself onto his back so Aleks can have an easier time pushing the dildo back inside. He moans into Aleks’ mouth, quickens his hand on his cock, and Aleks presses the toy all the way in so Brett can feel every inch pushing in and out.

Brett pulls away briefly to breathe against Aleks’ lips but Aleks reaches a free hand around to pull Brett back in by the nape of his neck, and they continue to kiss the entire time Brett gets off.

Though Brett’s the one receiving all the pleasure, Aleks is happy to be the cause of it. He got his turn, after all, now it’s Brett’s. It’s a give and take with them, always equals, never one over the other. He’s just as committed to Brett as Brett is to him and regardless how Brett feels, however the fuck he feels, that still isn’t a thing Aleks has to worry about.

A few minutes later of kissing and playing and Aleks swallows down the loud moan Brett gives into his mouth, the one that signifies Brett is about to come. Aleks pulls away to press his face into Brett’s neck and he latches onto the skin, fucks him with the dildo as fast, as hard as he can, and he groans through his teeth when Brett finally unloads with a long, low groan.

Brett steadily pumps himself through his orgasm until every load is milked from his thickness. His hand lazily drops onto the bed and his eyes lid into slits as he observes the white mess that ladens his tan torso, but he’s still too caught in his high to do anything about it.

Aleks isn’t.

Once he sucks that hickey onto Brett’s neck, he takes the dildo out of him and sets it aside on the nightstand. He moves to straddle Brett’s leg and leans down to kiss every drop of come that’s landed on his skin, every single one.

Brett moves a hand down to card through Aleks’ hair and Aleks looks up at Brett through his lashes, raises his eyebrows as if to ask,_ am I doing good, daddy? _ and he grins when Brett smiles down at him, as if to say, _ you’re doing perfect. _ Aleks closes his eyes once he has Brett’s approval and he squeezes Brett’s leg with both of his in acknowledgment while he continues to clean off his mess.

Aleks has grown more used to the taste of come overtime, to the point that it’s something he enjoys - as long as it’s not in his ass, though that was only gross in the initial stage. After the first time, he realized it wasn’t too bad, in the sense that a C+ is better than an F.

“You did such a good job, angel,” Brett tells him softly. “Fuck… fuck, I can’t wait for you to fuck me,” he chuckles.

_ !!! _

Aleks smiles brightly and sits up on Brett’s leg. “I really did that good?” he asks hopefully.

“You really did, and I really needed that.” Brett crosses his arms behind his head and looks up to the ceiling. “Feels good not to be in charge.”

“I mean, you did tell me to fuck you with that dildo,” Aleks tells him as he rolls to Brett’s side, “You got a bit dominant there at the end.”

Aleks throws a leg around Brett’s waist and pulls himself closer - both to cuddle him and because of how fucking small this bed is, christ, he’ll fall off if they make one wrong move, but it’s worth it to cuddle Brett.

“Eh, you took back control.” Brett winks down at him. “And as I said, I really can’t wait for you to fuck me. You’ve made me more excited than before - not that I wasn’t already-”

“Why do you want me to fuck you so much anyways?” Aleks asks as he rests his hands under his head. “What changed your mind?”

Brett purses his lips and looks to the side. “Uh, honestly? I’m not… totally sure,” he admits. “I just uh…” He clicks his tongue. “I guess I just really wanna make us equals,” he says quietly. “We already are, but I want you to know that I’m just as willing to take it as I am willing to fuck you. I’m down to do anything with you, just because it’s…” Brett shrugs and looks up to Aleks with a smile. “Well, because it’s you. And I feel comfortable with you. I feel safe with you.”

Aleks looks all over Brett’s face as he tries to perfectly pinpoint the right words to say in response to such a meaningful conglomeration of words. How does Brett just… do that? Say such meaningful things with no idea of how meaningful they are? Or maybe he does know and that’s _ why _ he says these things.

He blinks over into Brett’s eyes and sighs heavily. “You always say these big things,” he tells him. “Like, these sentimental things and…” Aleks bites at his lips in brief thought. “... and it’s just really sweet,” he says quietly. “You’re always so sweet to me. And protective, and caring,” he chuckles, “and you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“I know it means a lot,” Brett says. “I know exactly what I mean when I say those things.”

_ He’s so amazing. _

Aleks looks over his face again, needs to find those words again, because Brett continues to amaze him with everything he says and does-

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Brett chuckles. “I mean, it’s definitely cute but what’s on your mind?”

_ Should I tell him? _

Aleks rolls his lips back and looks up into Brett’s warm, brown eyes.

_ Eh, sweeten it a little bit. _

He smiles and moves to kiss Brett’s cheek before he hides his face in his neck. “Just keep thinking about how amazing you are, daddy,” he murmurs.“I’m glad you’re mine.”

It’s easy to say these things if he sticks to the pet names. The pet names place Aleks in a safe space where he can get away with things he couldn’t otherwise. It allows him to play make believe, which has become his favorite game with Brett. Aleks can make believe like they’re something more.

Brett huffs a fond breath through his nose and leans over to turn off the lamp, the only light source being from the cracked open door to the lit bathroom. “I’m glad you’re mine too, angel,” he murmurs. “How about you and I take a shower and then we’ll go to bed?”

Aleks hums and tightens the leg around Brett. “But I wanna stay here with you. Don’t wanna get up. ‘Sides, I’m cold.” He looks up to Brett and raises his eyebrows. “We should stay here.”

“You can warm up with a nice shower,” Brett reasons. “We won’t smell like sex in the morning either.”

Aleks purses his lips together and looks over to the bathroom. “Oh.” He then sits up on the bed and Brett begins to climb off. “Yeah, I guess you got a point.”

Personally, Aleks doesn’t mind smelling like sex but he’s also been well aware of the glances people kept sending him and Brett today - the wandering glances that express thoughts of _ “is there any truth to them?”. _ He’s also been well aware of the hidden meanings in innocuous sounding questions, such as _ “so what’s it like to have the other as a roommate?” _ and _ “how’s the love life?”. _

Aleks answers those two questions with the same two words and not much else: _ “pretty lit.” _

Brett pushes the door open all the way, leans against the open doorway, and Aleks looks over the back of his body until his eyes find a nice resting place on Brett’s ass. It’s not like his and there admittedly isn’t too much there but it’s still nice, still fun to play with. He wonders what it’ll be like to actually fuck Brett - is Brett gonna be a power bottom like him or is he going to play up that submissive side? Or both?

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how Brett goes about it. Aleks just wants that honor of being the first to fuck him and at the thought, he has to chuckle to himself because he can’t believe that he’s at this point with Brett. He’d use to think about what it’d be like to get fucked by Brett and spend nights alone with him but now he has to think about taking his anal virginity.

Their friendship has changed so much in these past few months. It’s still surreal to think about.

After climbing off the bed, Aleks walks over to give Brett’s ass a nice little squeeze and kisses his cheek. He grins over at Brett before he goes to the shower to slide the glass doors open and he says, “I think I’m becoming a big fan of playing with your ass, dude.”

“I’m quite a fan as well,” Brett says as he goes over to grab towels for the both of them. “But I think you gathered that when I told you that I can’t wait to be fucked,” he chuckles. “I’ve sort of been a broken record today.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together and turns on the hot water. “How so?”

“Bruce was asking me about us,” Brett says. “Geoff was asking me about us. Feel like I should make a tell all podcast if one more person asks.”

“What did they ask specifically?”

Brett slowly sets the towels down and bites at his bottom lip. “Just uh, wondering about how close we’ve been.” He swallows and looks over to Aleks. “Uh, so you know how Lindsey and James know about us?”

Aleks hums to acknowledge his question.

Brett makes his way beside Aleks and crosses his arms over his chest. “I might’ve told Bruce about us?” he says unsure. “B-But I didn’t mean to, he just…” He looks to the side. “He kind of… coaxed it out of me…”

Aleks chuckles and looks back to Brett as he steps into the shower. “He coaxed it out of you?” he repeats. “How?”

He can’t get annoyed at Brett for telling Bruce, not when he told Geoff but even if he didn’t, Aleks wouldn’t care. Aleks trusts Brett not to tell everybody - Brett has pretty good judgement.

Aleks should probably tell Brett the gist of what he and Geoff talked about so Brett isn’t left in the dark and wondering but considering it was about how he feels for Brett… there’s a good reason Aleks has kept it vague.

“So Bruce was um…” Brett huffs and steps in with Aleks. “Okay, I told Bruce I was a bottom and that you weren’t my type so I figured that it’d be enough to get him off our trail but then he told me I should give fucking you a chance and started talking about what it was like to fuck you and how awesome you were in bed and I just got really annoyed hearing it because _ I’m _ the one fucking you every night, I know so much _ more _ about how awesome you are-”

_ Wow, he’s really going into it. _

“-and it’s like, what the fuck was his problem you know?! Like he knows you so well because he fucked you one time and I just… I um…” He backs himself against the opposite wall and slowly drops his gaze to the floor in shame. “I sort of went off about how you and I have been fucking for awhile,” he mumbles.

Aleks’ eyes widen in sheer amazement at his quick rambling and he shakes his head with disbelief. “Jesus, dude,” he mumbles as he turns around to look up at the showerhead. “You uh…” He blinks a few times when a thought arises and a smile slowly graces his face at the implications of that. “... you really don’t like hearing about me with other guys, do you?”

Brett whines and steps forward to wrap his arms around Aleks from behind. “Because you’re _ mine,” _ he says quietly. “You’re daddy’s angel, not Bruce’s. You belong to _ me.” _ He huffs like a petulant child and rests his chin on Aleks’ shoulder. “Nobody else.”

Some people find a possessive man a turn off and Aleks gets it. That sort of thing can turn horrific so fast but Brett’s not that kind of possessive. He’s possessive in the way that a little kid never wants to let go of his favorite stuffed animal but will do so if he absolutely must. His possessive streak is endearing and it makes Aleks feel _ loved _ , feel _ safe. _

“I’ll never belong to anyone else, daddy,” Aleks assures as he reaches his arm up to wrap around Brett’s neck from the front. “Nobody else has these big, strong arms like you do either.”

“And you wouldn’t feel as safe in them as you do in mine,” Brett points out before he presses a kiss to Aleks’ neck. “Mmm, you’re always safe with me, angel.”

“I’ve felt safe with you from the start,” Aleks mumbles.

_“Here by yourself?” The man asks. “Kinda dangerous to be out here alone.”__  
__  
_ _“Uh, no, I’m with someone.” Aleks nods. “Just waiting for him to pay.”__  
__  
_ _“Okay.” The man nods. “Where you from?”__  
__  
_ _Aleks swallows and his eyes dart around rapidly. “You know, I’m from… around here.”__  
__  
_ _“Where around here?”__  
__  
_ _“Close by.”__  
__  
_ _“Not very specific.” The man chuckles and walks closer. “Where-”__  
__  
_ _“Baaaaabe, oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Brett sighs as he rushes around the pump. “I didn’t mean to take so long.” He chuckles and looks over to the other guy, walking over to stand in front of the window. “Hey dude, leave my boyfriend alone. You can clearly tell he’s uncomfortable.”__  
__  
_ _The man blinks a few times and opens his mouth. “Now hold on, I don’t think you should-”_  
  
_“You know what, I don’t think you should be harassing a guy alone in his car, regardless of whether he has a boyfriend or not. Now go on, skedaddle.” Brett waves his hand dismissively. “I’m the only company my boyfriend needs.”_

Aleks laughs and reaches forward for the shampoo, unfortunately not cinnamon vanilla, but lavender - a good second place. “Dude, remember when you drove me out to LA?” he recalls. “And there was that fucking guy, at that gas station, and he just hit on me out of nowhere and-”

“And I had to act like your boyfriend to scare him off?” Brett’s chuckle rumbles against Aleks’ neck. “I saw him at your window and I raced out there so fast.”

Aleks chuckles as he squeezes the contents into his hands. “I’m glad that was the only time you had to do that.” He turns around in Brett’s arms so he can massage the shampoo into his hair. “I don’t-”

“No, remember that Jersey Shore looking douchebag from the club who tried to get with you?”

“Oooh yeah…”

_ “Boyfriend?” Douchebag scoffs and shakes his head. “Naw, dude, I didn’t know you-” _

_ “Dude, you’ve been eyeing him all **fucking** night,” Brett laughs humorlessly as he fully closes the distance and he stands right in between Douchebag and Aleks. “I can handle admiration from afar but you better fucking remember that he’s a masterpiece you can’t touch.” _

_ Douchebag swallows and narrows his eyes at Brett, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was just trying to be friendly with him, I don’t get your problem.” _

_ “Ha!” Brett looks back to Aleks and points back to Douchebag with his thumb. “Friendly. He says he was being friendly,” he says as he smiles over at Douchebag, way too big for it to be genuine. “I saw you sliding your hand up my boyfriend’s knee and whispering into his ear from like, miles away, don’t lie to me.” _

_ Douchebag rolls his eyes and steps forward. “You need to chill, man-” _

_ The big smile instantly vanishes as Brett grits through his teeth, “Back the **fuck** off. Or I swear to god-” _

_ “What are you gonna do about it?” asks Douchebag as he steps up into Brett’s space. _

_ “I can throw down if I have to,” Brett says lowly as he stares down into Douchebag’s eyes. “You wanna try me, asshole? Go right ahead.” _

“... oooh, yeah,” Aleks purrs when he recalls it in better detail. “That was hot though. Guess some things don’t change, from Colorado to LA.”

“I definitely wish the snow was one of those things,” Brett says. “Don’t get me wrong, I love LA and how warm it is but when winter rolls around, I still look for the snow. Makes me miss Colorado sometimes.”

Aleks sighs and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, I do too,” he admits quietly. “It’s a bitch to drive in but,” he shrugs, “it’s pretty.”

“Especially when it’s covering everything and it looks like this magical winter wonderland,” Brett chuckles. “The palm trees and beaches are pretty but in the winter time, that’s not what I wanna see.”

Aleks takes his hands off Brett’s head and moves behind him so he can dip Brett’s head under the hot water. “LA is uh, something,” he says. “And it’s more for me, I think. Like, I feel I fit in here more but I get a little homesick for Colorado sometimes, you know? I always keep thinking about driving down or flying down for a few days to visit friends and stuff, go to all my old favorite places…” He sighs. “It’s always like, gonna be a big part of my heart.”

Colorado was where Aleks got the first major start in his career. Despite everything that went down with the Creatures, it was still a wonderful experience that Aleks will never take back. If it weren’t for the Creatures, he never would’ve met James, Sly, Dex… there’s so many people and places Aleks would never have gone to without the Creatures, without _ Colorado. _

Aleks loves LA already and he doesn’t want to imagine living anywhere else now but he still loves Colorado too. He’ll always miss it - especially the snow. That’s the one thing Colorado has that LA never will.

It falls into a silence after that but that’s fine. Aleks actually takes solace in the fact that he and Brett don’t always have to fill the silence with words. In fact, they often spend mornings in silence.

They’ll eat their breakfast across the table from each other, play on their phones, and occasionally they’ll show each other something interesting but they keep to themselves. Even when they wake up with each other, there’s not much else besides a lovely “good morning” and a kiss or two. It’s almost routine at this point and it’s exactly what Aleks has always envisioned in this idea of a perfect, domestic lifestyle.

No problems. No stress. Just him with that person he loves to be with more than anyone else.

Brett takes the shampoo from Aleks to squeeze the contents into his hands. “Bend your head down,” he tells him.

And Aleks does.

Brett works his fingers through Aleks’ hair and massages the shampoo into his scalp. “You know that snow globe you bought? It’s in my room, right? By my television? Sometimes I’ll just look at it, and I’ll remember everything you told me in the store about Colorado, about the snow…” He smiles and chuckles. “And I just think, like, what the hell is keeping us tied down here?” He shrugs. “Why don’t we just do it?”

“Do what?”

“Drive down to Colorado?” Brett answers. “Experience the snow again? We could like, have a road trip just like we did taking you down to LA. It could be our Christmas vacation - no problems, no stress, just you, me, and that awesome Colorado snow. We can appreciate winter for what it really is.”

“... a getaway, is what you’re saying.”

“Why not?” Brett asks softly. “Let’s get away from LA for a few days. We don’t have to think about work or anybody else, we can just think about each other, have _ fun _ with each other.”

“Where would we go?”

“I dunno, maybe like… a ski resort or something. Whatever you want.”

_ Whatever you want. _

Aleks smiles when Brett coaxes his head back up and he allows the water to rinse through his hair, cascade down his back and wash away the doubts.

He can vividly imagine it, him and Brett in Colorado, alone with each other at this theoretical ski resort. The snowflakes stick to the windows but he and Brett will be all cozy, bundled under covers in front of a fireplace. When they’re finally ready to take on the cold, they’ll walk through the snow, hand in hand, and kiss as the snow steadily falls on top of them, the only available heat radiating from their lovely embrace.

They’d still be cold but they’d be with each other. They’d be alone with each other and nobody will be around to pester them with questions that harbor deep meanings, with wandering glances that speak their true thoughts. They’d be like everybody else.

They would _ be. _

No past or future, only the everlasting present with each other.

Aleks turns to face Brett and runs his hand back through his clean, wet hair. He breathes in deeply and exhales a long sigh before he asks, “whatever I want?”

Brett smiles and nods. “Whatever you want, angel.” He holds out both of his hands and glances from them to Aleks with raised eyebrows.

Aleks quickly gathers the hint and brings his hands down to hold onto both of Brett’s and he gives them a good squeeze. “It sounds perfect,” he says quietly. “But honestly? I just like the idea of being alone with you with nobody to bother us.”

Brett looks to Aleks, his eyes roaming all over Aleks’ face. He looks kind of lost in his own thoughts but it’s kind of amazing if he is because he still looks at Aleks like the actual precious angel that he is. But then he smiles again, softer than before, he closes his eyes, and he brings their joined hands up by Aleks’ chest before he leans in to leave a lingering kiss to his lips.

Aleks happily lets him, just like he’s happily let Brett come into his life and turn it all upside down.

(Or rather, turned it back to normal.)

Brett pulls away to press his forehead to Aleks’ and Aleks looks up into his eyes, bites along his lips to divert that heavy feeling of_ I need him right now. _

“It’ll be just you and me, angel,” Brett whispers.

“You promise, daddy?” Aleks asks.

“Haven’t disappointed you yet, have I?”

Aleks shakes his head. “No, you never disappoint.”

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose. “Then let’s keep that trend going. A Colorado Christmas it is.”

This is a romantic getaway. There’s no mistaking it. Aleks knows that’s what this is. He sort of thinks Brett does too, but would he have suggested it if he did?

_ “Dates don’t… gotta be romantic,” Brett says. “A date, by definition, is just uh, a social appointment.” _

_ “For sure, dude.” Aleks nods. “I go on dates with James all the time.” _

_ “I go on dates with Lindsey all the time,” Brett says while he looks back to Aleks, pushes his hand against his. _

_ “So…” Aleks raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. “This is a date?” _

_ “... yeah,” Brett says softly. “It’s a date.” _

… yeah. He still would.

Aleks is still trying to figure Brett out. He’s still trying to come to a full consensus on whether or not Brett likes him but with each word that comes out of Brett’s mouth, each action Brett takes with him, it pushes him more into the camp that is actively shouting at Aleks that it’s so obvious he does.

He doesn’t really have any reasons to keep arguing with that camp, besides the powerful feeling of fear at possibly being rejected. That outweighs any logic and reasoning. Logic and reasoning should tell him that a mere friend with benefits would never suggest going away alone together to a ski resort _ on Christmas week _but that fear kicks it to the curb and tells Aleks that it doesn’t matter because what if that slim chance of Brett not liking him is the actual case?

These aren’t things Aleks is thinking about right now. All Aleks can think about is Brett’s warm hands holding his, his hot breath ghosting against his lips, that even hotter water piercing through their skin, as well as that bout of fear, and the fact that Brett just fucking asked him to _ come away with him to Colorado for Christmas. _

Colorado is cold, especially in the winter months, but Brett is all the heat Aleks needs to get through it with a big smile, and that smile is present on Aleks right now.


	20. Fabrics Of Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett head to Home Depot after a morning rendezvous gone slightly wrong. Later, they head to Victoria's Secret for some much needed clothing.

**September 27th, 2017**

Today’s morning has started on a good note for Brett.

He woke up with Aleks in his arms, per the new usual, and they took a nice, hot shower together. Like most times they shower together, it starts with a genuine need to wash each other but soon escalates in a fun way beyond most of their control.

This escalation has now led to Brett making out with Aleks on the bathroom counter, with Aleks sitting on top, his arms wrapped around Brett’s neck, and Brett in between his legs as his hands roam over Aleks’ thighs to find the best part to grab. That’s kind of tricky, however, because he wants to grab everywhere he can. Curse God for only giving him two hands!

Brett’s tongue shoves back into Aleks’ mouth and a grin briefly flashes over his lips when he hears Aleks moaning his satisfaction. While his tongue ravages Aleks’ mouth, he sinks his nails into Aleks’ thighs and drags them upwards, over his hips and to the small of his back, to press Aleks against his body with a growl against his lips before he lowers Aleks down more to the counter.

The counter obviously isn’t big enough for Aleks to fully lay down so his neck is kind of bent awkwardly against the mirror, it’s slightly uncomfortable, his ass is hanging over the edge, but he wraps his legs tightly around Brett’s waist and that mitigates these feelings somewhat but then Aleks comes up with a much better idea, a much better _ place _ for them to continue.

He barely pulls away from Brett and looks up into his eyes, dark with passion, and he nods his head upwards. “Let’s take this to the bed,” he breathes out.

Brett nods. “Good idea.”

He swiftly pulls Aleks up from the counter and against his chest and Aleks holds tightly onto Brett with his limbs. Not a second after they step away from the counter and they’re already kissing each other again. They’re short pecks, over and over again, but that’s okay - they’re in for some more fun very soon.

Brett chuckles against Aleks’ lips as he makes his way to the bed. “Bet you I can slide in right now,” he mumbles. “Just hold you up with one arm.”

Aleks scoffs. “I’m not denying you can do that but unless we’re going rough, you’re using lube.”

“Mmm, wanna take it easy this morning, huh?”

“At first, yeah. But I’ll let you know when you can fuck me like the slut I usually am for you.” He grins and swipes his tongue along his lips before he gnaws at the bottom.

With a low chuckle, Brett sets Aleks down on the bed and says, “you should stop saying things like that then, or I won’t be able to help myself.”

Aleks crawls back a bit more away from the corner of the bed he was placed. His grin grows more as he holds himself up by his arms and he asks, “what is it you call me sometimes?” He squints his eyes together at Brett as Brett retrieves the lube. “I’m daddy’s sexy little slut?”

Brett sighs and shakes his head with a small smile as he drizzles the lube over his shaft. “When did you learn to be such a tease?” he asks, stroking himself to fully apply the lube before he grabs Aleks’ hips to pull him back to the corner.

“Hey, you need to be closer,” Aleks tells him as he weasels out of his hands to crawl back again. He looks up to Brett and beckons him closer with a finger before he says, in a low tone, “get over here.”

The smile on Brett’s lips curls more into a grin and he raises an eyebrow in intrigue. He kneels up on the bed and softly replies with, “yes sir,” before he lines himself with Aleks. Brett slowly pushes inside and a long moan falls from his lips as he throws Aleks’ legs up by his waist.

Remember how today’s morning started on a good note for Brett? Scratch that, it’s starting on a great note.

“Fuck, I love feeling you in me,” Aleks breathes out as he wraps an arm around Brett’s neck to pull his face right against his neck and he hums quietly in content when Brett starts with slow, steady thrusts.

“Love feeling you around me,” Brett moans and slides his hand up to card it through Aleks’ hair, gently scratches the nails against his scalp. “You’re so tight, you’re always so fucking tight, how do you do that?” he breathes out a chuckle.

“I dunno,” Aleks mumbles. “How do you… always have a big dick?”

Brett kisses his way along Aleks’ jaw to the corner of his lips and murmurs, “dunno, but lemme show you how good this big dick can make you feel,” before he quickens his thrusts into seamless, swift rolls of the hips.

“Oh god, _ Brett…” _

It’s neither slow nor fast, the way Brett’s fucking Aleks, but just enough to give them a good amount of pleasure, as well as the secret luxury of being able to touch all over each other and take their sweet time in doling kisses. After a few minutes, the bed begins to creak louder than it has but he and Aleks think nothing of it - they only think of grabbing and kissing each other, moaning against the other’s lips and trying their best to keep close, to garner as much of the other’s heat as they possibly can.

The sex is secondary to the pleasure of being close to each other. It only serves as a vehicle to quickly achieve those means and truthfully, Brett would rather do this. He’d rather take his time with Aleks and worship his body but they need to work today so unfortunately, he needs to reserve this for a different time.

After some minutes, Brett detaches himself from Aleks’ lips and sits up fully on his knees. He steadies his hands on Aleks’ thighs as he pulls out and says, “turn over, I wanna see how well you can fuck yourself.”

Aleks grins up at Brett before he quickly turns onto his hands and knees and he presses his ass right up against Brett’s cock. “Is this where the ‘fuck me like a slut’ portion of our sex comes in?” he asks.

Brett gently lulls his head back with a moan and drops it back down to watch Aleks grind continuously against him. “I’ll fuck you like a slut when you actually get to fucking yourself like one,” he says lowly, almost on the edge of a warning, and he pontificates that by giving Aleks a soft smack to the ass before he firmly grabs the cheek.

“Maybe you should fucking put it in me then instead of just sitting there,” Aleks challenges.

Brett looks back and forth before he looks back down to grab himself. “I-I was going to,” he says quietly as he pushes the head past the rim. “See… I’m doing it… right now,” he sighs as he bottoms out inside Aleks again. “There, now let’s see what you got.”

Aleks grins, slides his hands up to wring the comforters in his grip as he says, “I’ll blow your fucking mind, dude,” and begins to slam himself off and on Brett’s length with constant groans falling from his lips.

Of course Aleks can blow his fucking mind. He was a power bottom before he resigned himself to being a completely submissive bitch for Brett most of the time they fuck. A needy, begging Aleks is always a lot of fun and the same can be said for when he takes charge. Honestly, Brett’s just happy he gets to fuck Aleks whenever he wants.

Come to think of it, Brett’s been happier with this arrangement as of recently. The feeling of wanting more is still present, that’ll never change, but he swears that he and Aleks are getting closer with each passing day. The fact that they’re going away to Colorado come Christmas week is a big indicator of that and Brett could say he’s surprised Aleks said yes, at such a romantic sounding offer… and he was, but he still had high confidence that Aleks would accept it.

It wouldn’t be something he’d offer back in the beginning of August, for example, but he and Aleks have come so far with each other since then. Their friendship is different now and holds more meaning. It’s unique, one of a kind - a friendship nobody else will be able to understand.

It’s still complicated, what this is. But sometimes complicated is worth it.

Aleks sighs as he slams back onto Brett and his shoulders slump onto the bed. “Okay, take charge again,” he breathes. “I’m tired, dude.”

“You’re free to come workout with me, you know,” Brett reminds him as his hands roam up Aleks’ back to grab his shoulders, massaging into the blades with his thumb. “Get you back into shape.”

“Nah.” Aleks shakes his head. “You workout enough for both of us. I’ll live vicariously through you.”

“What if I asked nicely? With a cherry on top?”

“Can you just fuck me, please?” Aleks whines. “With you on top?"

Brett sighs, “you did say please,” and then he digs his nails into Aleks’ shoulders to lock himself into place before he starts to quickly hammer into him.

“Oh fuck, fuck me!” Aleks groans through gritted teeth. “Fuck yeah, give it to me!”

“You want it all?”

“Every fucking thing, come on.”

“Want me to give you everything I got?”

“Brett, don’t fucking play this shit with me right now, I’m daddy’s sexy little slut now fucking_ fuck me like it.” _

Brett whistles lowly and pulls out to the tip. “Ooh, I love it when my slut gets dirty with me. That’s what I wanna hear.”

So he gives Aleks everything he has, fucks him at full power, full speed, just the way he likes it and Aleks continuously cries out his pleasure. The bed is creaking loudly, though it’s louder than it usually has, but it continues to be tuned out. It’s simply white noise to be ignored, not significant at all, unlike the sounds of skin slapping against skin and moans that only aid in the hot and heavy, sexual atmosphere of the room.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” Brett groans and forces Aleks upwards so Aleks’ back is pressed flush against his chest. “You like that?”

“Oh fuck!” Aleks moans and reaches his hands back to hold onto Brett’s hips. “Fuck yeah, I love it when you fuck me like this!”

“Yeah?” Brett wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulders from behind and wraps the other arm around his stomach. “How much do-”

_ ASDFUJIKJHGFDS. _

Brett cuts himself off with a yelp as the bed collapses underneath him and he immediately falls straight to the floor on his back with a loud groan of pain. He’s, unfortunately, holding Aleks so he ends up taking Aleks down with him.

Aleks gives a pathetic cry of “help!” as he falls back with Brett but thankfully (for him, not for Brett), Brett’s body cushions his fall and takes most of the impact for Aleks.

Brett lids his eyes open at his bed with a whine and notices that the corner to the frame has split and broken. He huffs and rolls his eyes before he looks down to Aleks, who’s now turning around in his arms to face him. “Hey… bud,” he says in a strained tone. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m dying,” Aleks whimpers. “Will you make sure nobody on the internet says I wasn’t really immortal after all?”

_ What a fucking baby. I’m glad he’s mine. _

Brett gives a small smile when he sees that Aleks is feeling just fine and he shakes his head at his theatrics. “Yeah, I got your back,” he assures. “Did you uh… still wanna go at it? Because I’m kind of…” He shrugs. “I’m fine calling it there. And I’m like, soft now, so...”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Aleks shakes his head. “I just want breakfast now. And hopefully our table won’t fall apart.”

“Breakfast, you got it.” Brett hisses while he sits up on his knees and offers out a hand. “I think I need to stop at Home Depot before work.”

Aleks takes Brett’s hand and pulls himself onto his knees. “Yeah,” he breathes out with a nod. “That’s a good idea.”

Today’s morning started on a good note, progressed to a great note, then a note far beyond description, and after the destruction of the bed frame, it’s… actually, it’s still pretty good.

Any morning where Brett spends a majority of his time with Aleks, whether they’re having sex or groaning in pain on the floor, is a good morning for him.

* * *

Aleks thought Brett was going to Home Depot by himself but Brett insisted he came along and Aleks doesn’t like to say no to him.

However, Aleks will still question why he’s there.

“Why did I have to come with you to pick a new bed frame?” Aleks asks as he pushes the cart.

“Well you’ve pretty much moved into my bedroom so the bed frame needs to be something you like too,” Brett answers.

The corner to Aleks’ lips turn up into a lopsided smile and he looks down into the empty cart, save for two small plants that Brett decided to rescue.

He and Brett are shopping for a bed frame together. For their bed.

_ Their _bed, the bed they share, because they sleep together every night now.

These two things are the sort of things that couples do, not that he and Brett are a couple and if they would, Aleks wouldn’t brand what they have as this complicated thing. He could just call Brett his boyfriend and suddenly it wouldn’t be complicated. It would make sense and wouldn’t have to be explained.

Christ, Aleks is still trying to figure out a friendly way to explain going on a Christmas vacation to Colorado with Brett. The only reasons he can think of are romantic and he’s starting to realize that these romantic reasons are the only reasons to explain it.

“Also,” Brett says, “it took 2 people to break the old bed frame and you’re one of them. You and I are sexual deviants that need to pay for our crimes against the bed frame society.”

_ Annnd the romance is over. _

Aleks rolls his eyes and continues to push the cart along. “Maybe if you didn’t fuck me so hard, we wouldn’t need to find a new bed frame.”

Brett scoffs and narrows his eyes at Aleks. “Like you weren’t the one asking to be fucked hard?”

“Could’ve said no.”

“So that’s what you want me to do when you ask for rough sex next time?”

Aleks presses his lips together and drops his gaze to his hands. His silence is the only answer Brett needs.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Brett mumbles.

They make it to the area the bed frames are located and Aleks parks the cart off to the side so he can help Brett look but it seems relatively simple. Just find a frame the matches the size of the bed, make sure it looks nice, and shove it in the cart. Aleks trusts Brett to find something nice, he doesn’t have to be here, but he appreciates the fact that Brett wants his input. It makes him feel like an equal.

“So how do you feel about working with Sugar Pine again?” Brett asks as he slides out a box.

“Oh, the Spice Gauntlet and Roast stuff we’re gonna do?” Aleks sighs. “Who’s doing this? Cib and James?”

“Mmhm, I think it’ll be fun,” Brett tells him. “Are you still bad with spicy stuff? Because we’re on a team together-”

“We are?”

“What, am I not good enough?”

“No, I’m glad you’re my partner in crime,” Aleks answers as he looks to the box to inspect the display. “I don’t like that one. And I still can’t handle my spice.”

Spice is necessary in adding much needed flavor to food. Aleks gets it, he understands it, and he believes in it, but he’s a pussy when it comes to spice so he’s not too excited to do this whole Spice Gauntlet thing. He fully expects to shit fire for the next few weeks and die and the quicker he accepts this fate, the better.

There is some solace Aleks takes, however, in knowing that he’ll die with Brett by his side.

Brett pushes the box back in and slides out the next. “Okay well, I can handle spice so I can take one for the team if I have to,” he reasons. “It’s us against Cib and Jakob, then James and James.”

“We’re gonna win with our awesome gay energy.”

Brett throws his head back with a laugh. “Awesome gay energy,” he repeats. “I love it. Our roast is gonna have some gay energy too, I feel it right now.”

“Our roast?”

“We’re roasting each other. You and I, Trevor and Jakob, Cib and James.”

“I gotta like… find stuff to make fun of you about?”

“Just make fun of my bald spot and how old I am then call it a day.”

Aleks presses his lips together and crosses his arms over his chest, staring down at the box with unease. “This is okay, keep it in mind and go to the next.”

Those were things Aleks could tease Brett about before but then, he wasn’t crushing on Brett before. He thought he wasn’t, anyways, but he is now and… he knows Brett is sort of sensitive about those things, at least the bald spot. It’s always different when friends tease you, that’s always done out of good nature, but Aleks thinks there’s a more creative way of going about this.

At the very least, the insults should have a bit of a spin to it besides, _ “haha, you’re old!” _

“You know, maybe we should actually use our awesome gay energy in our roast,” Aleks reasons. “Because being homoerotic is kind of our thing now with each other.”

Brett chuckles and fully stands up to lean against the shelves. “You want to be gay in our roast? How do you gather we do that?”

Aleks shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Say I make fun of you for being older. Then you’d say something like… I dunno, _ ‘aren’t older guys like me your fetish?’ _ ”

“Ah, so you wanna give Top Gun a run for their money.”

“... that’s one way to put it.”

Brett shrugs. “Might as well,” he sighs. “Gotta give the people what they want, right?”

There’s also a great deal of fun to be had with upping the homoerotic energy on camera with Brett. It allows them to get away with being touchy feely on camera, because they can excuse it with doing it for the fans sake and not because that’s actually what they wanna do. It also means the comments about them will progressively get worse but Aleks has learned to stop looking at them so much.

“Can I roast you for your lingerie fetish?” Aleks asks with a small smile.

“You want to roast me for a fetish that’s held by like, the majority of men?”

“Do the majority of men wanna see other men in lingerie?”

“Not a majority, but definitely a lot more than just me,” Brett reasons. “Especially if they’re pretty like you.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and mumbles, “pretty like me, huh?” as he takes out a random box from the shelves to inspect.

_ Ooh, I like this bed frame. _

Being called pretty is different when it comes from Brett. Aleks knows that Brett isn’t demeaning him or calling him less of a man, but for Brett to imply that the lingerie would look better on Aleks _ because _ he’s prettier? It sort of falls along those lines.

“It’s not a girly thing, Aleks!” Brett exclaims with a frown.

Aleks sighs and glances over to Brett as he sets the box in the cart. “You keep saying that and I believe you believe it, but I still think it is.”

“It’s not,” Brett whines softly. “Look, I get your indifference to it-”

“Uh huh.”

“Aleks, I do.”

Aleks’ body relaxes when Brett rests his hands on his shoulders from behind and he stares down into the cart. He breathes in deeply and exhales another sigh before he turns to face Brett with a raised eyebrow that says,_ I’m listening. _

“I don’t blame you for being uncomfortable with it,” Brett says. “Guys don’t really wear that stuff and if they did, it’d be available on like, every street corner. But if you wore that, I wouldn’t see you as girly or try to treat you like one at all. It’s like I told you a few days ago, remember?” He raises his eyebrows at Aleks with a hopeful smile. “It’s just the icing on top of the cake?”

“The already very hot cake?” Aleks finishes with a smile as he looks up into Brett’s eyes.

Brett chuckles and nods. “Exactly.”

Aleks feels bad because he knows Brett would never look at him like that, like a girl, but it’s an insecurity of his. Reassurance is always good for squandering it but that’s going to keep coming and coming at him and he’s just thankful that Brett doesn’t mind telling him otherwise.

Though Aleks does wonder if reassurance has a limit.

Aleks bites at his bottom lip and looks down to Brett’s lips as he takes another deep breath. He grabs onto the edge of the cart, tapping his fingers against it in thought before he looks the other way. “That all makes me feel better about it,” he admits. “But that’s still not a feeling I can easily shake off, you know?”

“I know.” Brett nods again and swipes his tongue out along his lips. “And uh… I’ve actually been thinking about it a bit, since the uh, the Let’s Play Reunion.”

“How so?”

“So…” Brett purses his lips out and crosses his arms over his chest as he looks up to the ceiling. “I uh, I’d do anything I can to make you comfortable, you know?”

“You would, yeah…”

“Yeah, so… like, if I gotta wear lingerie with you to make it clear we’re on the same level, I totally will.” He clears his throat and twists the bed frame box. “Ooh, I like this one. Good choice.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows at Brett and blinks wildly before he quickly shakes his head a few times. “You… sorry, what?”

“I like this.” Brett taps the box and looks to Aleks. “It’s pretty-”

“No, you’d wear lingerie? With me?”

“Oh. That. Yeah, I mean, it’s not _ my _ thing to wear it but I wouldn’t give a shit.” He shrugs. “They’re just clothes to me. Pretty clothes, but clothes.”

Aleks stares at Brett open mouthed before he closes his eyes. He rubs vigorously at them and sighs to himself. “Let me just think for a minute, okay?”

It’s not every day that a guy offers to wear lingerie for him.

A big, strong guy like Brett.

It’s not something Aleks has ever thought of. It’s also not something Aleks is into at all and he has no carnal desire to see Brett in panties and stockings for him… would the stockings even fit? Brett has such thick thighs and they’d probably rip. And the panties? Brett has to fit his thick dick in _ those? _

Aleks lids his eyes open and purses his lips together when the slightest burst of adrenaline drops into his stomach, the same burst of adrenaline he gets when he thinks about Brett kissing him, throwing him down, or clasping a collar onto his neck.

_ … I’m not into that, am I? _

He turns to look Brett up and down, trying to envision what he would look like in such pretty articles of clothing. Lingerie can mean a number of things - doesn’t have to be panties and stockings. It could be corsets, negligees, garters, bras, etc. it’s such a wide spectrum. Panties and stockings seem readily accessible and less of a shock for somebody new to the thing so that’s what Aleks proceeds to picture.

Honestly? It’s not a bad picture at all.

Aleks swallows and rubs the nape of his neck as his eyes cast upwards into Brett’s. Brett gives Aleks a smile and a small wave and Aleks shyly waves back.

“What’cha thinkin’ ‘bout there?” Brett asks.

“A lot of things,” Aleks mumbles. “Uh… you’re really that dedicated to seeing me in it?”

“I just want you to be comfortable and happy,” Brett tells him… and then he shrugs and says, “but yeah, I really want to see you in lingerie. Like, loads,” he chuckles.

Aleks acknowledges that with an eyebrow raise and says, “alright, well… if you’re _ that _ dedicated then… sure. Yeah. We can… try it-”

“I LOVE YOU!”

An “ah!” is all Aleks can manage as Brett tightly wraps his arms around him to hug and lift him into the air. He even coughs at how hard he’s being squeezed because christ, Brett is really hugging the air out of his midsection right now, but Brett loosens the hold when Aleks is set back down on the ground.

Brett still hugs Aleks close to his body. He does so with the brightest smile on his face.

Aleks is incredibly glad that he hasn’t let go. He never wants him to - especially when Brett says _ that. _

_ I love you. _

Three words.

Three words that sound simple but are often the hardest words to say to somebody.

It’s interesting, how hard it is to say “I love you” the first time, because it’s so much easier the second. And the third, and the fourth, and so on.

Granted, this is the romantic “I love you” and not the platonic one Brett was using with Aleks in this moment. To platonically say “I love you” will always be easy, or at least easier than the romantic version.

Whether somebody means it platonic or romantic, if you _ really _ like that person, really _ really _like that person, your whole world is going to stop when they say those three words.

Aleks’ whole world stops for what feels like an eternity once he fully realizes what Brett just told him. In this eternity, Brett doesn’t let go and that’s probably for the best because Aleks would be drifting off into the high heavens above if it weren’t for this tether to reality.

When Aleks does fully immerse himself back into reality, the reality of Brett’s big, strong warms warmly wrapped around him, he figures that wearing lingerie for Brett won’t be this terrible thing like he thought.

After all, it’s gotta be worth it if Brett is going to say _ that _to him.

* * *

**September 30th, 2017**

Brett’s elbows are resting on top the display shelves that house many of the panties Victoria’s Secret has to offer. His chin is rested on top of both of his hands and he’s looking at Aleks like the actual angel that he is. Victoria’s Secret angels should be jealous of how pure, how pristine, and how_ pretty _ Aleks is.

Aleks grimaces as he picks up a pair of white satin panties by the white lace edges. He twists and turns the garment and with a sigh, he looks to Brett but his eyes squint together when he notices the way Brett is looking at him.

“Uhhh…” Aleks blinks a few times. “Do you… like these?”

“Uh huh,” Brett breathes out.

“Are you going to like everything I pick out?”

“Uh huh.”

“Then dude, why didn’t we shop online for this?” Aleks shoves the panties against Brett’s arms and Brett holds them close to his chest. “Why did we have to come here in person?”

Brett snaps out of his trance and quickly chases after Aleks when he goes to check the babydolls. “Because we already wanted to go to the mall today for a date anyways so might as well knock out two birds with one stone!”

“But…” Aleks whines and looks around the store. “There’s people here, Breeett...”

Brett looks around at the empty store, save for a pretty raven-haired girl with full tattoo sleeves on the other end. He rolls his eyes and mumbles into Aleks’ ear, “there’s a _ person _ here”, before he grabs a white babydoll. “Ooh, you’d look nice in this,” he comments. “If you really wanna be an angel-”

“Panties and stockings,” Aleks says with conviction as he turns to Brett with a finger held up. “Panties and stockings for me only.”

“... then why were you looking at the babydolls?”

“For you.”

Brett swallows and sets the babydoll back. “Oh, right,” he mumbles.

He did say he was going to wear lingerie with Aleks, didn’t he? Brett absolutely meant it but he doesn’t know what to look for with himself. When Brett pictures people in lingerie, he sees girls and very pretty boys, not… people like_ him _. You know, big, strong men with thick thighs and built bodies?

It’s not that lingerie is just for girls and pretty boys! Brett said so himself that lingerie doesn’t have to be girly but uh, you know, he definitely thinks that it looks the best on a particular subset of the population. Aleks is part of that subset, but Brett isn’t.

At least Aleks will be happy and comfortable. That’s all Brett wants… and he really wants to destroy him in lingerie too but that goes without saying.

“Ooh.” Aleks whistles lowly as he picks up a red and black garter belt and he holds it up in front of Brett’s waist. “Yeah, you’d look good in that.”

Brett blinks his eyes wide open and asks, “you think I’d look good in it?”

“I mean… you know what I mean,” Aleks scoffs and holds the belt close to his chest.

“Uh… yeah, I think so.” Brett narrows his eyes almost suspiciously at Aleks before he turns to the shelves again for panties.

_ … nah, he’s not into this. _

“So after we get done with uh, this big chore,” Aleks spreads out his arms and looks all around the store, “I wanna go to the food court. I want Chic-Fil-A.”

“Aren’t you ever going to get tired of that?”

“Are you ever gonna get tired of being vegan?”

“Vegetarian, first of all,” Brett points out as he picks up a pair of lacy red panties. “Anyways, we can eat Chic-Fil-A for the millionth time but then I want to go-”

“Hey, do you think you can help me with something?”

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks up to see the pretty raven-haired women. In fact, she’s strikingly gorgeous and exactly his type but Brett has kind of… stopped noticing girls. And guys. He hasn’t checked out anybody in that way since he and Aleks started fucking around. He can acknowledge if somebody is good looking but it’s like his sexual attraction has zeroed in on Aleks and Aleks only.

It’s not something he should be put on trial for, Brett thinks. It’s not his fault that Aleks is so good at sex that he’s ruined everybody else.

Brett gives her a polite smile and glances to the blue bra in her hands. “What can I help you with?” he asks.

“Do you think this would look good?” she asks with uncertainty as she holds the bra over her chest. “Or should I pick a different color?”

Aleks shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he turns away to walk to the shelves.

_ Make it more obvious, why don’t you? _

“I’ve personally always liked green on girls with black hair,” Brett answers. “Sort of uh, reminds me of Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls.”

It’s too early to say if this girl is actually hitting on him. She could just very well be looking for advice on lingerie and it’d make sense to ask another man their opinion. Granted, Brett’s just fucking happy to see them in lingerie in the first place. Aleks could wear the ugliest fucking pair of panties with mismatched stockings but he’s still _ wearing them, _ he’s wearing them _ for Brett, _ and that’s the sexiest thing of all.

… okay, she’s probably hitting on him, but Brett’s too nice sometimes.

“Oh my gosh, totally!” she laughs. “I used to be a blonde but I just recently dyed my hair black so I’m just used to blue and… being Bubbles,” she chuckles.

Aleks consciously runs his fingers through his hair, platinum blonde tips but dark roots.

“Girls with black hair look good in green, blondes look good in blue,” Brett chuckles. “Maybe Powerpuff Girls was telling us something.”

“Your girlfriend’s pretty lucky to have a cool guy like you,” she says with a hair flip before she looks up into Brett’s eyes.

“Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Aleks quickly swipes a pair of panties from the shelf without even looking and turns to walk back to Brett.

The woman raises her eyebrows and a smile brightens her face. “Oh? Well, uh… hey, maybe you’d wanna come with me to the food court and-”

“Yo, Brett, what do you think of this?” Aleks asks as he holds up the panties right in front of his eyes.

“What?” Brett pulls his head back to look at the panties and he can’t help the grin that spreads his lips - cotton pink with white lace edges? On Aleks? Please and thank you. “I love it,” he tells him. “Get that.”

Aleks smiles and holds the panties to his chest, along with the garter belt, before he looks over to the girl. He gives her a head nod and asks, “s’up?”

She gives an equally cool head nod back and says “nothing much” before she turns her attention to Brett. “So, Brett, do you-”

“Right, uh… I admire the confidence, but I’m sort of…” Brett bites at his lips and glances over to Aleks, who’s now walking away from the two of them with an extra skip to his step.

Brett is completely single. He has no girlfriend, no boyfriend, and he has no romantic commitments to anybody. Theoretically, he’s available for any other single person to get their hands on.

Realistically, that isn’t possible if his heart is taken by somebody. His heart needs to be open to love from anybody but if it’s only seeking love from one person, then he isn’t_ really _available. He’s clinging onto one person, holding onto that sliver of hope that they can be something more and Brett has already put a lot of his time into them.

Brett spends mornings and nights with this person, often spends the entire day in between with them as well, and he comes to that person with any problems he has, whether it’s with work or any general misgivings with life. He also comes to that person for his more primal needs and this person satisfies those needs more than anybody else ever could. Brett and this person are equals and treat each other as such.

He doesn’t want to think it, doesn’t want to delude himself further, but it’s sort of turning into a relationship… and then it’s not. If it was turning into a relationship, they’d talk about that, wouldn’t they? Regardless, Brett is investing most of his time with Aleks and he’s enjoying every second of it, labels or not.

Theoretically, he’s single. Realistically, he’s taken.

“Um…” Brett blinks back over to the girl with a bit of a sheepish expression. “I’m… actually taken?”

“But you said-” The girl closes her mouth and looks over to Aleks, who’s trying his best to hide a smile. “Ohhh… no, yeah, I totally get it,” she says as she looks back to Brett with a grin. “Well, they’re real lucky to have you.” She winks and pats Brett’s shoulder before she turns and walks away. “Thanks for the bra advice!”

“Yeah, anytime!” Brett calls out as he watches her walk away.

Aleks makes sure she’s away from their vicinity and then he walks back over to Brett. “You just blew her off?” he asks. “Why?”

Brett swallows and rubs the nape of his neck. “Uh, what do you mean why?” he asks. “Why did you uh…” Brett looks up to Aleks and raises his eyebrows. “Why did you decide to shove panties in my face while I was talking to her?”

“Because dude, I found like…” Aleks shrugs. “I found a cute pair and you wanna fucking see me in panties so I didn’t think you’d mind. You’re avoiding my question, dude, she was your type-”

“Maybe she was.” Brett shrugs. “But I dunno, she…”

_ She’s not you. _

Brett clears his throat and turns on his heel. “She uh, just gave me a vibe.” He shrugs and walks over to another shelf with crop hoodies. “I didn’t agree with it.”

“A vibe,” Aleks repeats.

“Yeah, I told you that I’m good with my vibes.”

There’s a reason Brett hasn’t made any effort in actually finding somebody to date. Aleks hasn’t either, apparently, and there’s a few reasons as to why that could be but all of these reasons lead back to Brett. He only wishes he knew what it meant.

It’s frustrating sometimes, to know everything yet know nothing at all.

Aleks’ tongue pokes around the inside of his cheek in contemplation as he stares a burning hole into Brett’s back. His foot taps against the tiles and he narrows his eyes in scrutinization before his gaze drops to his tapping foot. “Guess uh,” he chuckles humorlessly, “guess you are pretty good with your vibes.”

“I am,” Brett says softly. “You think you’d wear a crop hoodie?”

“Why not?” Aleks asks without looking up. “Just a regular hoodie but cut up, right?”

“Something like that.”

“So if you’re good with your vibes, you’d like…” Aleks shrugs and looks back up as he walks to Brett’s side. “Well, you basically know how anybody feels about you at anytime, right? If you can sense their vibe so well?”

“If they’re people I’m close to, I wanna say I do,” Brett answers. “Why?”

Aleks clicks his tongue and gives a nod before he walks away from Brett again. “Just curious,” he replies. “I’m gonna uh, pick a few things for you, you can pick things for me, and we’ll meet back up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Brett says as he takes a blue crop hoodie from the shelf. “Blondes look good in blue…” he mumbles to himself.

Aleks looks back to Brett, eyeing him up and down in almost a judgmental fashion. He crosses his arms over his chest, fingers tapping against his arms, and he shakes his head to himself with a quiet sigh before he walks off to a different shelf.

Brett holds the hoodie to his chest and looks back to Aleks, who’s taking a green babydoll from the shelf. He squints his eyes at him and rolls his lips back before he runs his teeth along the bottom.

_ What’s up with him? _


	21. I Love You, Aleks Marchant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night after the Spice Gauntlet, Brett finally connects all the dots and comes to, in hindsight, what should've been an obvious epiphany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

**October 3rd, 2017**

Sometimes, the best mornings aren’t the mornings where you and that special someone are hotly pressing bodies together, in such a way that it’s hard to see where one body starts and where the other stops.

Sometimes, the best mornings are the mornings where you and that special someone are going through life’s daily motions. You both wake up, you eat breakfast together, then you both prepare yourself for work immediately after and in the moments between, you look to that special someone and wonder how lucky you are to be living a normal life with them.

There’s a big factor that plays into a morning like that, however. Mornings like these are powered by a fundamental force, one that can easily take somebody and their senses over. This force can’t be mistaken for anything but one word in particular, a word that easily gets tossed around but means so many things.

This one word, this one simple four letter word that shares a relation with those three simple words, yields so much energy and it sometimes compels people to act out uncharacteristically, all in the name for something or someone, but usually someone.

Brett finishes off his plate and makes his way over to the sinks to clean his dish. He notices Aleks washing his and he nudges Aleks’ side before he mumbles, “it’s okay, I got it.”

“I was here first,” Aleks tells him. “I’ll clean our plates. You get dressed.”

“How come you can keep our house in good condition but your workspace is an absolute pigsty?”

“If you think you can do the dishes better-”

“I’m just giving you shit,” Brett chuckles and leans over to kiss Aleks on the cheek. “Thank you, Aleks.”

Aleks looks back at Brett with a smile of his own and nods his head towards the stairs and Brett turns away to do as Aleks tells him. He rests his hand on the banister as he takes the first step and then he peers his head over to watch Aleks from afar.

Aleks is only wearing a tanktop and boxers but Brett isn’t trying to check him out. Though his eyes scan the entirety of Aleks, it’s done in scrutinization, in wonderment as he tries to figure him out.

Months and months later since Aleks moved in and Brett still doesn’t know how to describe him. He can go on and on about how much he likes Aleks, how creative and funny he is, how adorable and dorky he is, and everything in between, but there still isn’t one succinct word, one catch all phrase that will fully describe Aleks the way Brett always sees him.

Surely there has to be a reason why descriptions like “perfect” don’t do Aleks justice. Brett thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough when he compared Aleks to stardust, an interstellar beauty constructed by cosmic fragments of infinite proportions, but even that’s a slap to Aleks’ face. Aleks is worth so much more than descriptions and comparisons, but there needs to be something Brett can use in case somebody asks him why he likes Aleks so damn much.

That is, if Brett doesn’t laugh at them first and try to brush it off. Thankfully, he hasn’t had a question like that beyond the limits of the internet.

Brett sighs through his nose and continues up the stairs into his bedroom. He absent-mindedly glances to the nightstand, where Aleks’ wallet and lighter is, before he enters the bathroom to brush his teeth.

There’s not much to do while he’s brushing his teeth so Brett looks all over his counter, at all of his things - none of Aleks’ in sight. He furrows his eyebrows together and puts a hand on his hip.

_ How long have we actually been sleeping together? _

It’s been a few weeks, right? Has Aleks seriously been going all the way back into his own bathroom to brush his teeth when he can easily do it here? Aleks already has a few outfits set aside in a spare drawer in Brett’s dresser so what’s keeping him from just bringing in his toothpaste and toothbrush and all that other stuff? Brett has a much bigger bathroom than him too - it’s meant for two people to share.

Brett rinses out his mouth and goes back into his bedroom to get changed. He decides on black jeans, his favorite pair of black boots, and that black Rooster Teeth shirt with “Let’s Play” emboldened in pretty gold lettering across the torso. The outfit is obviously topped off with a baseball hat - this one is black with “WOLF” in white along the front. Where would he be without his assortment of hats?

Brett comes back out of the room to see Aleks at the top of the stairs and he leans against the open doorway, nods his head at Aleks in a cool fashion as he asks, “get those dishes done? Wanna make me a sandwich too?”

“You want me to never fuck you again?”

“To be fair, I’m the one doing the fucking here,” Brett points out as he follows Aleks into his bedroom. “You haven’t fucked me yet.”

“And I never will if you say _ that _ to me.”

Brett thins and lips and nods. “Very fair,” he mumbles. “I uh, I deeply apologize for my incredibly sexist words and I do hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Aleks pauses in the opening of the drawers to look back at Brett. “Give me a few days to think on it,” he says. “Should I wear anything like, special for the Spice Gauntlet today?”

“Maybe a shirt you don’t give a shit about,” Brett recommends. “That shit’s gonna ruin you, dude.”

Aleks pulls out a purple “People Like Grapes” shirt then tosses it back onto the bed. “It’s gonna ruin my ass too,” he sighs and turns to look at Brett as he pushes the drawer closed with his back. “I don’t think we’ll be able to fuck tonight.”

“Okay,” Brett chuckles and walks up beside Aleks. “You know I don’t care if we fuck or not. I just like spending time with you.”

Aleks ducks his head with a smile and rubs the nape of his neck as he walks around Brett to the bathroom. “Me too,” he says quietly. “Can you find my black sweatpants? I wanna wear those.”

“You have a million and two pairs of black sweatpants, you gotta be more specific.”

“Any pair!” Aleks clarifies as he turns on the lights to his bathroom. “I trust you.”

Brett looks over in the direction of the bathroom with a smile and murmurs, “you got it, chief”, before he sets forth on finding the perfect pair of pants.

He finds a good pair soon enough and they look good with the shirt Aleks picked out but he also doesn’t think Aleks will be irritated at all if they get a mess. After a talk about their spice tolerance levels, Brett doesn’t trust Aleks to handle it incredibly well.

There’s a high probability they’ll lose the Spice Gauntlet today but Brett already accepted that fate. All he can do in the middle is try his best to make sure Aleks doesn’t completely lose his mind.

Brett tosses the pair besides Aleks’ shirt and then he plops himself down onto Aleks’ well made bed. He crosses his arms behind his head on the pillow and surveys Aleks’ room - it’s pretty much the same layout as his with the only difference being a desk with a nice streaming set-up instead of a television.

_ Has he even done a stream since he moved in? _

With a hum at the thought, Brett continues surveying Aleks’ room. It’s very clean. Too clean, actually, almost like nobody has been here at all. It’s not too off the mark, considering Aleks hasn’t been in his room much since he and Brett started sleeping together,_ actually _sleeping together. He only comes through to get dressed, brush his teeth, and maybe a few other small things but it really drives home Brett’s point that it makes more sense for Aleks to move some of his things into his room.

“You find me a good pair of pants?” Aleks asks before he looks over to the pants in question. “Ooh, you did.” He smiles and heads over to the bed. “Thanks, daddy.”

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and sits up on his knees. “No problem, angel,” he replies. “Hey, uh, have you streamed at all since you’ve moved in?”

“Oof.” Aleks shakes his head. “Uh, once or twice but that was at the very beginning. I keep meaning to do more but… I dunno, I think I’m just taking a break for now.”

“You burned out?”

Aleks shrugs and says, “a little bit”, as he slips off the tanktop. “I like streaming, don’t get me wrong, but it’s one less thing I have to worry about, you know?”

“No, I feel you.” Brett nods. “I was just looking around your room, saw this amazing set-up you had, and I thought it was funny that you haven’t even used it yet,” he chuckles. “But yeah, I get it.”

“Were you looking for something in particular?” Aleks asks as he slips on the purple shirt. “Were you hoping I’d have a secret stash of lingerie that can only be seen under a certain light?”

Brett beams and smiles brightly at Aleks. “Do you?” he asks like a hopeful child.

Aleks scoffs, “no”, and pulls down his boxers. “Only lingerie I have is the stuff you bought me a few days ago.”

“When are we gonna use that, by the way?”

“If we’re still fucking in 5 years, we’ll use it then.”

Brett swallows and averts his gaze to the comforters. He picks at the threads, traces random patterns into the material, his fingers quickening along with his heartbeat as the adrenaline races through him. There’s a question on the tip of his tongue, one that Brett is about to say, and he knows it’s risky-

“Where do you think we’ll be 5 years from now?” Brett asks, briefly glancing to Aleks before his attention diverts solely to his quick fingers. “With each other?”

Aleks’ fingers pause right on the waistband of his black pants and he blinks up to Brett. “With… each other?”

“I-I mean just,” Brett shrugs, “in general. Will we like… still be living together? Working together? Will we be…” He clears his throat and a shuddering breath parts through his lips. “J-Just, you know. General.”

Especially the living together part. Brett doubts Aleks will be living with him 5 years from now if all they’re doing is fucking each other. Even if their sex has more meaning to it than it did before, it’s still just sex. It’s unrealistic to think that Aleks is going to stay with him throughout the years, just fucking him and being content not to go to anybody else.

He’s going to want a romantic connection eventually. Brett would like for that to be him but he still isn’t 100% sure if Aleks likes him. He’s like… 70% sure, but that’s still not enough.

But Brett will have to make these feelings apparent at some point. It won’t be now but as hard as he tries to keep these feelings bottled up, not on his sleeve like he’s so used to doing, they’re going to spill whether he wants them to or not.

Aleks takes his hands off his pants and looks back and forth. He rubs the nape of his neck, bites at his bottom lip, and his fingers incessantly tap against his neck. “That… all depends,” he admits. “There’s like, a lot of ways it could all go, you know?”

“Well what would you like to happen with us?” Brett asks.

Aleks clears his throat and takes a deep breath, his tongue quickly swiping along his lips before he turns the question back around and asks, “what would _ you _ like to happen with us?”

_ This was a bad idea. ABORT MISSION. _

Brett forces out a chuckle and shakes his head. “Uh, you know what, it’s fine,” he says. “I don’t uh, I don’t know what made me ask that. You can just forget it, really.”

Aleks looks up to Brett and raises his eyebrows. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” Brett scoffs. “It’s whatever.”

_ CHANGE THE TOPIC. _

“So your room!” Brett looks up to Aleks with a bright smile and claps his hands together. “And my room!”

Aleks thins his lips together and sighs through his nose. There’s a moment or two of silence where Aleks is thinking until he asks “what about our rooms?”

“I was just looking around, and thinking, and… have you ever thought about just moving some of your stuff into my bedroom?” Brett asks as he drops his hands. “Like, your toothpaste and your toothbrush, all that stuff?”

Aleks blinks a few times and the corner of his lips quirk into a small grin. “Uh, maybe,” he admits quietly. “You think I should?”

“It makes a lot more sense then for you to wake up and go alllll the way back to your room when you can just have it all in one convenient place,” Brett reasons.

“Yeah, it makes a lot of sense,” Aleks agrees as he plops onto the bed besides Brett. “I was actually thinking that for awhile now but I didn’t wanna intrude too much on your space-”

“Nooo, you’d never be doing that!” Brett whines and wraps his arms around Aleks from the side in a hug before he rests his head on top his shoulder. “The more space you take, the better.”

Aleks holds onto Brett’s arms and looks down to his head with a wider grin. “You really wouldn’t mind?”

“Move your stuff in,” Brett says. “It’s not my space. It’s _ our _ space.”

“Our space,” Aleks repeats quietly. “I love the sound of that.”

_ I love you. _

Brett blinks his eyes open at the floor and his eyebrows slightly furrow together in confusion at the thought that just entered his mind.

_ I don’t love Aleks like that... _

Aleks can’t see Brett’s face from the way Brett’s head is laying, but then he looks away from Brett and it doesn’t even matter. “I really like living with you,” Aleks says. “I mean, I know I probably gotta move out at some point-”

“You can stay as long as you’d like,” Brett tells him. “You don’t ever gotta move if you don’t need to.”

“Well I don’t need to right now.” Aleks smiles and tightens his hold on Brett. “I like being with you.”

_ I love being with you. Because I love you. _

“I... “ Brett bites at his lip and shakes his head. He moves to kiss Aleks’ cheek and murmurs, “I like being with you too,” before he unwraps his arms. “I also like being with you at work, which we really need to-”

“We can be a bit late.”

“Why would we be late?”

“You can’t fuck me tonight, but you can fuck me right now-”

“Yeah, no, we really need to be at work.”

“Nah.”

“Yeeeah.”

“Whoops! My pants just came off!”

“Aleks, I’m-”

“And my shirt is just falling apart on its own! That’s so weird.”

“... just a quick one, okay?”

It’s also a much needed distraction,_ I love you, _ from the intrusive thoughts, _ I love you, _ in Brett’s mind, _ I love- WILL YOU STOP? _

… anyways, the sex is a great distraction from these thoughts of loving Aleks. It shouldn’t be, considering Aleks is the forefront of his thoughts, but all he has to focus on is fucking Aleks just right and look at that beautiful face while he pushes in and out. Sex with Aleks is more of an emotional and immersive activity lately but it can still be mindless and right now, the mindless sex is what Brett needs.

Brett doesn’t have to wonder about the many variations of where he and Aleks will be with each other in 5 years.

Brett doesn’t have to wonder if Aleks will still be living with him and fucking him, maybe even more, or if Aleks will be back on his own with a lovely lady or man on his arm.

More importantly, Brett doesn’t have to keep telling himself in his thoughts that he’s not in love with Aleks, that he_ can’t _ be in love with Aleks.

Brett loves Aleks but he’s not in love with Aleks. He recognizes the differences very clearly and if he was in love with Aleks, he would know. He would know and wouldn’t be able to deny it and if he _ did _ try to deny it, it wouldn’t last for long.

It’ll work for a few weeks, maybe a few months, but there’ll be one instance where he’ll look at Aleks and just like that, everything he’s ever tried to push back into the recesses of his deep mind will force open the floodgates and the flood will drown and hit him hard.

In fact, it might happen sooner than he thinks.

* * *

“Hello and welcome to the Spice Gauntlet!” Brett announces into the camera. “It’s the first annual Spice Gauntlet here from the Cow Chop warehouse and HOLY COW we got a buncha spicy boys around the table today!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word you said,” Sugar Pine James says with a smile. “You’re so damn cute.”

“Ooh, he is cute!” Cib comments as he strokes Brett’s beard.

“I saw Brett first,” Aleks says. “Finders keepers, my dude.”

“Considering you were the first person at this table I ever met, that’s technically true,” Brett assures.

“Actually, you can have him,” Cib says. “I was there for the roasts earlier. I have one rule in my sex life and I_ never _ interfere with the power of true gay love.”

The roasts filmed today were… very interesting, to say the least. Surprisingly, Cib and Sugar Pine James harbored a homoerotic energy that was on par to Brett and Aleks’ but Brett and Aleks’ roasts were still the ones that made most of their friends question what exactly was going on…

_ “So uh, did you wanna go first?” Aleks asks. _

_ “You said you wanted to kick things off,” Brett replies. “This is your show-” _

_ “Yeah, but I said you should set the pace.” _

_ Brett grins and looks down to the table. He takes a deep breath before he looks up to Aleks and says, “I don’t think you’re in shape enough to handle the pace I’d set for us.” _

_ Aleks bites down hard on his lips and shakes his head. He widens his eyes and looks up to the ceiling and says, “just diving right in, huh?” _

_ “Did a little of that this morning,” Brett says. “You were a big fan of it.” _

_ Aleks coughs into his hand and presses his fist to his lips, trying his best to stifle a smile. “I didn’t laugh,” he says. “At least let me get something in.” _

_ “You say that to me every-” _

_ “Give me a chance, dude.” _

_ “Okay, my bad. Go ahead.” _

_ “... old.” _

_ “... old,” Brett repeats. _

_ “Just wanted to put it out there,” Aleks says as he crosses his arms behind his head. _

_ Brett purses his lips with a nod. “Alright… well uh, you really got me there.” He looks up to the ceiling and clasps his hands on top of the table. “When it comes to the bedroom, I hear you’re more disappointing than the Let’s Play family reunion.” _

_ Aleks briefly raises his eyebrows in acknowledgment. “Hmm. I didn’t uh, really seem too disappointing this morning when you wanted to go another round.” _

_ Brett blinks at Aleks a few times but then he giggles. When he feels a giggle fit coming on, he bites down hard on his lips and takes a deep breath to steady himself. _

_ “You remind me of my dad,” Aleks says with a grin. _

_ “Some people say I remind them more of your daddy than your dad,” Brett argues. _

_ Aleks picks up his tinted ray bans to shield his eyes and clasps his hands on top the table. _

_ “Need a pokerface now?” Brett asks. _

_ “It’s to help with the light reflecting off your bald spot.” _

_ Brett giggles and points to his hat. “I’m wearing a hat. Does that joke still work?” _

_ “Still shines through, my man.” _

_ “Well, points to originality,” Brett mumbles and drops his hand. “Here, I’ll throw out something that’s actually original - you seem like the kind of dude who still sleeps in a racecar bed.” _

_ “Why are you admitting that your bed is a racecar bed?” _

The roast kept falling along these homoerotic lines until Aleks finally gave in. They dashed away any suspicion by simply claiming this is what they were going for in the first place - or so they think.

Honestly, as long as their friends don’t continue to comment on it, then it’s a job well done. They’re running out of ways to justify being gay for each other.

**Round 1. Scoville Level: 3,810**

But it’s now time for the actual Spice Gauntlet and everybody starts off with something simple. It’s a bit spicy, but enough that a certain somebody needs to take a drink of water.

“Dude, you don’t need that yet!” Brett laughs and takes the cup away from Aleks.

“It’s fuckin’ hot, dude!” Aleks says around his noodles. After swallowing them down, he looks around for a bit and knocks the empty cup off the table.

Brett watches it fly off with a chuckle. “Then don’t eat a big fucking handful,” he advises. “You’re supposed to share with me!”

“No, I need you primed and ready for the super spicy stuff.”

**Round 2. Scoville Level: 5,000.**

“Wow, you’re so fucking cool,” Aleks tells Cib in monotone. “Eating fucking California reapers and shit.”

“I’m just saying!” Cib laughs. “This is pussy shit, bitch.”

When Aleks goes to slap Cib, he somehow misses and slaps Brett instead - very gentle, almost featherlight, but it’s still enough for Aleks to hold Brett’s face in his hands and say, with much worry, “dude, I’m so sorry!”

“Is there domestic abuse going on?” James asks from the other side of the table. “We can’t show that.”

“If you’re really sorry, make up for it by eating this without taking a sip of the very few rations we have,” Brett tells Aleks as he reassuringly pats his shoulder.

**Round 3. Scoville Level: 21,000.**

Aleks swallows down the chip and pants a little bit afterwards in an attempt to ward off the spiciness.

“How are we feeling?” Brett asks casually as he leans back in his seat.

Aleks gives a crooked thumbs up.

“Excellent! Then we-“

Aleks gives a thumbs down when the spice finally kicks up and he immediately begins to bang his fists on the table.

**Round 4. Scoville Level: 4,404**

“What are you guys doing?” Brett asks as he cautiously watches the two James.

“Squeezing the spice out,” Sugar Pine James replies.

“Uh, okay.” Brett nods. “Lot of techniques at work here.”

“Gotta do what you can to win, you know?” James points out.

Aleks coughs loudly and throws his head back with a gagging noise before he drops his head back forward. “Jesus,” he breathes out.

Brett looks Aleks up and down, furrows his eyebrows. “Are you alright?” he asks as he mixes the noodles with the fork.

“Hey, that’s my FORK!” Aleks whines and swipes his fork from Brett. “Your fork is right on your side!”

Brett chuckles and smiles up at Aleks. “You look and sound like a fucking spaghetti monster right now.”

In the midst of all the hot pain, Aleks actually manages a laugh.

It’s good he finds a respite of peace now, because it’s going to get a lot worse.

**Round 5. Scoville Level: 8,808.**

“Ooh,” Aleks whistles. “That’s a little_ spicy _ , dude. That’s a little SPICY. You know what I’m sayin’? I’m sayin’ that’s _ SPICY!” _

“Dude, what the fuck is going on with your lips?” James chuckles.

“Dude, shut the fuck up, don’t talk about my lips, let’s talk about your fucking lips,” Aleks spits. “You got fucking skinny lips, dude, where the fuck is Lindsey even supposed to kiss you?”

“Wow, this is more of a roast then the actual roast,” Sugar Pine James comments. “I mean, the actual roast was just super homoerotic more than anything else.”

“Gotta give the fans what they want,” Brett defends.

“Aleks, you look kinda like a baby right now,” Trevor says from behind the camera.

“Shut the fuck up!” Aleks whines before he pats his lips dry. When he drops the napkin back onto the table, he looks back to the two James’ and furrows his eyebrows together before he loudly exclaims, “you can’t put it in your fucking hands, what are you doing!”

“There’s no rules against it!” James defends. “We’re allowed to use our resources!”

“Git gud,” Cib breathes out.

Aleks throws his dirty napkin at Cib. “You git gud, you fucking pussy bitch!”

**Round 6. Scoville Level: 100,000**

Cib is rocking back and forth in his chair and gurgling his own saliva.

Jakob is close to throwing up.

Aleks contemplates death for a moment before he suddenly shoves the chip into his mouth.

_ FUCK MY FUCKING MOUTH, DUDE. FUCK ME. JESUS. _

Aleks gasps for air and his eyes widen as he quickly shakes his head. He gently smacks his cheeks with both hands and hisses through his teeth. “Oh fuck,” he breathes. “Oh fucking _ shit,” _ he laughs, though it holds no humor in the slightest, and he curls up on himself in the chair.

Brett looks over to Aleks and narrows his eyes in thought.

_ I really need to find a way to calm him down... _

**Round 7. Scoville Level: 135,600.**

“Oh my god!” Aleks exclaims after eating his chip. “Oh my _ god, _ what the _ fuck _ is THAT?” Aleks shouts before he screams into the room and he pushes his chair away from the table. His eye is a little bit itchy so he scratches at the eyelid.

That’s a big mistake.

Aleks squeals in pain and slaps himself across the cheek. “FUCK! I TOUCHED MY FUCKING EYE!” he shouts before he storms away back to his desk. “Fuck! Fuck me! Fuck this!”

Brett is laughing hard as he turns in his chair to watch Aleks, who’s kicking boxes and other miscellaneous things on the way to his desk. While everybody continues laughing, Brett’s laughter dies down when he feels the spice crawling up the back of his throat.

“Aleks!” he calls out. “Will slapping me make you feel better?!”

Aleks immediately comes rushing back over to slap Brett harshly across the face.

Brett feels better.

Aleks still feels like he’s on the verge of death.

**Round 8. Scoville Level: 600,000**

Cib is banging wildly on the table.

Jakob is going back and forth between dancing and vomiting into the trashcan.

Aleks is close to banging his head on the concrete floor to put himself out of his misery.

They haven’t even started this round yet.

“Stop fucking throwing up, you pussy bitch!” Aleks shouts. “God DAMNIT, IT DOESN’T STOP!”

He shouts yet again as the spice inflames him and he actually picks up his chair to throw it away from the set. Cib follows in the destruction by smashing his plate to the floor and Aleks stomps through the shards on the way to his desk in a new mission to destroy every office chair in this warehouse.

“Oh boy,” Brett breathes out before he storms out of his chair after Aleks. While he goes to Aleks, everybody else tends to their teammates, or themselves…

… everybody besides Trevor and Asher, who are watching them through the lens.

“Allllleks,” Brett says sweetly. “Oh, Aleksandr-”

“I can’t be here!” Aleks tells him. “We should just leave, man! We should just forfeit!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Brett grabs Aleks’ shoulders. “Just take deep breaths-”

“I tried that, you don’t think I didn’t try?!” Aleks exclaims. “You don’t think I didn’t try every fucking thing to deal with this stupid fucking spice and this stupid fucking gauntlet?!”

“You need to keep doing it. Do that and focus-”

“ALL I’M FOCUSED ON IS THIS SPICE, MY MAN.”

“Aleks-”

“TOO MUCH SPICE!”

“... Aleksand-”

“IT’S STUPID! THIS IS FOR PUSSY BITCHES.”

“Okay, you know what-”

“WHY DID I SUGGEST THIS?”

“Shut up.”

“I DON’T EVEN - mmm!”

Brett has Aleks’ face strongly framed in his hands as he presses a big, wet kiss to his lips.

Aleks’ hands fling all over the place but just like Brett thought would happen, Aleks soon relaxes and hums his content with the kiss as he brings up his hands to hold onto Brett’s wrists.

James takes a sip of water and glances to the back of the warehouse and he does a double take when he sees Brett and Aleks kissing. “Hey, that’s not allowed!” he exclaims as he slams the cup of water down on the table.

Sugar Pine James follows James’ eyesight and he laughs when he sees what’s happening. “Can you do that?!”

Cib slowly turns around in his chair to see Brett and Aleks pulling away but he was still able to catch the very last seconds of the kiss. “Damnit,” he whispers. “I’ll never beat the power of gay love.”

Brett looks into Aleks’ eyes with a smile and raises his eyebrows. “How are we feeling?” he asks.

Aleks breathes out a laugh. “Green,” he answers. “You keep kissing me like that, and I’m fucking gucci, dude.”

Brett chuckles and wraps his arm around Aleks to lead him back to the table. “Won’t be a problem.” Then he looks over to their competitors and proudly proclaims, “looks like we found our ace in the hole, boys!”

**Final Round. Scoville Level: 6,000,000**

Cib is writhing in pain on the floor.

Jakob is constantly moving, dancing, and taking deep breaths to combat the spice.

As for Aleks?

“Brett,_ Brett,” _Aleks gasps and reaches out to grab Brett’s shirt collar. “It’s coming back, dude-”

“You wanna do it again?”

Aleks quickly nods.

Brett pushes his chair towards Aleks and holds the sides of his face to leave a lingering kiss to his lips.

“You can’t do that!” James shouts. “That’s not fair!”

“Hey dude, you can kiss your teammate too,” Brett defends as he pulls away, though his hands stay on Aleks’ face. “Doesn’t have to be just us.”

“Hey, Jakob,” Cib slurs, “come kiss me.”

“Uh. No.”

“Just one more chip, Aleks!” Brett exclaims. “We can do this!”

“Yeah, we can totally do this.” Aleks nods and takes his chip. “It’s nothing. It’s only… how much is it on the Scoville?”

“Like, 6,000,000.”

Aleks blinks a few times and presses his lips together. “Oh,” he mumbles.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Brett assures. “We’ll take it at the same time, okay? Me and you, and everybody else! We’re all spicy boys in this together!”

At the count of 3, everybody eats the last chip at the same time and they all deal with the consequences in their own ways.

Everybody is in pain and everybody wonders why the hell they even took part in this challenge at all - except for Brett and Aleks, who have found a way to overpower the spice at the last moment with the most fundamental force of all.

Brett quickly blows out breathes and fans himself with his hands. “Ooh, I think I need a big kiss after that,” he gasps. “Aleks? You there, bud?”

Aleks coughs and beckons Brett over to him with his hands and Brett pushes himself and his chair right up against Aleks and his own. They both hold onto each other’s shoulders as they engage in a much deeper kiss, not as deep as they’d like it to be considering they’re on camera but it’s deep enough that it mostly takes their mind off whatever fucking hot poison this is.

It’s also deep enough that anybody watching this video when it comes out will know for a fact something is going on between them. Brett and Aleks will cross that bridge when they come to it but for now, they only acknowledge the present, the right here and right now with each other.

So with the power of their awesome gay energy, combined with the most powerful, most fundamental force of all, Brett and Aleks steal the win at the first annual Spice Gauntlet, the first of many things to be stolen tonight.

* * *

The best way for Brett and Aleks to celebrate their Spice Gauntlet win? Cuddling on the couch under warm blankets, eating copious amounts of ice cream, and watching terrible comedies on Netflix.

Brett has stripped down to his shirt and briefs, whereas Aleks has swiped Brett’s favorite sweatshirt, black with the words “everything hurts and I’m dying” in white lettering, to go along with his boxers - not that you can really see it with how high the blankets are on his body.

He looks like the cutest fucking thing in the universe. Brett sort of wants to eat him up, but he’s pretty content to share ice cream with him instead.

Brett takes a huge scoop of ice cream from the tub and holds it in front of Aleks’ vision. “Hey, you think you can take this all in one bite?”

Aleks’ gaze dips down to the spoon and he narrows his eyes in thought. “I mean, your dick is a lot thicker than that. Give me your worst, Hund- mmf!”

Brett cuts Aleks off by immediately shoving it into his mouth and he laughs loudly at the displeased look on Aleks’ face. “Come on! Chew! Chew! Chew!” he chants like a disrespectful frat boy.

Aleks screws his eyes shut and closes his mouth as much as he can. After about a minute, the treat fully dissolves and he sticks out his tongue, shaking his head wildly back and forth. “Ooh, that stuff is cold, my man!” His teeth chatter together and he holds his arms to himself. “Better than the spice, at least.”

Brett chuckles and looks to the mess all over Aleks’ mouth. “Made a bit more of a mess than it though. You still have some on your lips.”

“Why don’t you get it off for me?” Aleks grins and raises a suggestive eyebrow as he looks down to Brett’s lips.

Brett chuckles lowly and sets aside his spoon on the coffee table. “Now _ that _ is something I can gladly do for you,” he murmurs as he looks back to Aleks, nodding his head. “Get a little closer.”

“How close do you want me?”

Brett raises an eyebrow as well and moves his hands to pull Aleks against his body by the small of his back. “Pretty damn close,” he mumbles against his lips before his tongue trails along it. It licks up the sweet mess before he presses a kiss to the corner of Aleks’ lips, kissing over to the middle and swiping his tongue up the center and Aleks opens his mouth to wordlessly invite Brett in.

The movie is just background noise, not that Brett and Aleks were paying much attention to it in the first place. Most of their time spent on this couch, cuddling together under this big plush blanket, has been spent sharing ice cream with each other, laughing and talking about their day, their lives, and everything in between.

Besides the ice cream, this is what most nights with them are starting to turn into. If they’re not ending the night by going out to a club or bar, they’re ending the night in peaceful solitude with one another. In fact, Brett prefers these quiet nights a lot more, the nights where he and Aleks go through some of life’s daily motions. He actually gets to spend a normal life with Aleks and it makes him wonder - _ how did I get this lucky? _

Brett and Aleks pull away at the same time, the both of them mirroring sweet smiles. Brett brings up a hand to rest on the back of Aleks’ head, his fingers gently scratch against his scalp, and Aleks’ eyes lid shut as a pleasing hum vibrates in his mouth.

“How much ice cream do we have left?” Aleks asks quietly.

Brett looks over to the gallon on the table and laughs. “It’s pretty empty, dude,” he answers. “We demolished it but after today, I think we should’ve expected that.”

“I’m feeling a lot better though,” Aleks tells him as he moves forward to press his face into Brett’s neck. “Mostly because of you but…” He shrugs and after he slumps, he wraps his arms around Brett.

Brett looks down to Aleks with a fond smile. “My uh, my kisses really did the trick, huh?” he says quietly as he rests against the back of the couch, his arm wrapping around Aleks’ shoulder to keep him close.

“A hot guy kissing me is always going to steal my attention. Always.”

“Giving me too much credit there.”

“Not enough. You’re more than hot, bro.”

“Stop buttering me up.”

“Want me to lube you up instead?”

Brett laughs and leans his head back against the couch. With a sigh, he looks back down to Aleks, shakes his head, and says, “you’re fucking ridiculous. Why are you the way that you are, Aleks?”

“You know you love me.”

Brett rolls his lips back and averts his gaze to the side. “Can neither confirm nor deny,” he mumbles.

He loves Aleks, yes, but you know who else loves Aleks? James. Lindsey. Trevor. Asher, and Asher better fucking love Aleks because Aleks miraculously appreciates his company and Brett doesn’t know how Aleks can manage that, fuck, he’s so brave for being around him, but the point is, Brett loves Aleks the way all of his friends do.

His love for Aleks goes deeper than the way his other friends love him but it’s not like that with them. It’ll never be like that.

It can’t be like that.

They shift around on the couch to get more comfortable and Aleks slightly turns his head on Brett’s shoulder to watch the movie but they were already pretty comfortable so not much changes. Their arms stay wrapped around each other, they’re still pressed close together, and it’s almost perfect the way things are right now.

Brett brings up his hand to lazily card his fingers through Aleks’ hair and Aleks ever so slightly leans his head back into his touch. His eyes squint together as a soft smile barely settles upon his lips and he looks down to his phone, resting perfectly on top of his covered lap. Aleks unwraps an arm from Brett to turn on his phone with one hand and he asks, “can I show you something?”

“Hmm?” Brett raises his eyebrows and looks down to Aleks’ phone. “What do you wanna show me?”

“I’ve been looking at places to stay in Colorado, for when we go on vacation?” Aleks opens his bookmarks. “I really like this one place, it’s called Aspen Highlands. It just looks nice and sounds fun to me and… I dunno, I want your opinion on it.”

After opening the bookmark, Aleks hands his phone over to Brett and he wraps his arms back around him, his head returning to its favorite place - Brett’s shoulder.

Brett reads over the details and various amenities. A full kitchen is included along with a fireplace, there’s daily maid service, a fitness center is nearby with no fees, and from the reviews posted on the site, everybody has had nothing but great experiences.

He begins to swipe through the pictures and his eyes initially widen in pleasant surprise at how damn nice the place looks. The kitchen and living area are homely and rustic, yet are still pristine and rich. The condo utilizes warm colors and isn’t flashy at all, rather it finds beauty in the promoted simplicity.

Brett can fully envision him and Aleks cuddling in front of the crackling fireplace with the lights turned off as the snow steadily falls outside. He can see himself waking up to the smell of Aleks’ top notch pancakes, can see himself waking up and going into the kitchen to hug Aleks from behind and murmur a lovely “good morning” into his ear before they discuss the rest of the day. He also doesn’t mind the image of sleeping in with Aleks and just that - nothing but holding Aleks in his arms and enjoying the knowledge that they’re with each other, that they’re _ safe _with each other.

“What do you think?” Aleks asks.

Brett looks back down to Aleks and that’s when it all hits him.

It hits him hard. It hits him harder than anything else ever has.

Every single thought that he’s ever tried to push back into the recesses of his deep mind crash through the floodgates that lead to the forefront of his mind and the resulting flood completely drowns every single circuit to every single receptor and electrifies him and his senses.

It wasn’t some grandiose moment, like a romantic walk under the moonlight on the beach.

It was just one look into Aleks’ eyes. One look into Aleks’ eyes and Brett’s life changes forever.

“I mean,” Aleks chuckles, “do you like it? Do you _ love _ it?” Aleks blinks a few times and tilts his head on Brett’s shoulder. He looks up into Brett’s eyes with a bright smile and after another chuckle, he says, “come on, say something.”

The way Aleks is looking at him right now is a look Brett will never forget.

Aleks is staring up at Brett with his warm, dark brown eyes, though they shine brighter with vivid color than anything else in this dull world. He’s waiting so eagerly for Brett to say something about this place that he’s picked out for the two of them, and he’s probably put so much thought into it, fuck, Brett knows he put thought into it. He knows Aleks didn’t just pick the first thing he saw, he might not have been there to watch Aleks but he doesn’t have to, not when he’s been with Aleks_ so much _ that he can tell what’s going through his mind, why he does things the way that he does.

Right now, Aleks wants his approval. It’s all Aleks wants but he should know that Brett will always approve. He should know the lengths Brett is willing to go to ensure that - the lengths Brett is willing to go for him, for _ Aleks _ and nobody else.

It will always be Aleks.

Aleks took Brett’s home. He took Brett’s bedroom. Now he’s taken Brett’s heart, and along with that, Brett’s entire life before him.

Specifically, before all of _ this. _

Brett Hundley’s life is Aleks Marchant.

“I… I uh…” Brett swallows and looks back down to Aleks’ phone with a deep breath. “Hold on, let me get another look.”

The resort is beautiful. The resort is one of a kind.

At first, Brett could appreciate what the resort has to offer. It was cool at a first glance but after taking a hard look at the pictures, he began to like it for the aesthetics, the physical qualities. Brett can point out the obvious in its beauty, just like everyone else, but the more time he spends looking at the pictures and reading over the details, the more time he spends with_ this,_ he realizes that he likes the resort a lot more than he initially thought.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a quick look, a nod of approval, and that’s it, but now it’s something more. Everything Brett has ever thought about love before is washed away in the flood that drowned his senses.

He realizes now, what love really is. He realizes now, what it really means to love, to really want to give your all to that one special someone.

With every single thought from the recesses of his deep mind that come crashing through, each one provides a bit more clarity than the last. This clarity allows Brett to realize, to finally acknowledge and accept that he’s in love with the resort and everything about it, down to the miniscule details that nobody else probably knows, or the details people know but don’t necessarily like but it’s those little things that make this resort what it is.

And Brett doesn’t ever want to know a life without Aleks and all the little things that make him_ Aleks, _ that make Aleks the man that Brett is so absolutely enamored with and captivated by.

The man that Brett loves more than anything and anyone else.

“... you’re super fucking quiet,” Aleks points. “Why are-”

“I’m in love with it,” Brett whispers without taking his eyes away. “I really am.”

Suddenly, Brett knows why descriptions like “perfect” don’t do Aleks justice, why comparisons of Aleks to interstellar beauty and stardust is a slap to his face.

No description will ever do Aleks justice. It robs Aleks of who he truly is, to simply compare or try to describe him. Aleks is just _ Aleks _ and that’s the best description of all.

It’s why he’s beyond descriptions of any kind. Aleks is a description all in its own.

Brett’s actions and words are powered by a fundamental force and it’s so powerful that he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. This force can’t be mistaken for anything but one word in particular, a word that easily gets tossed around but means so many things, so many _life changing things_ and though Brett can barely speak, can barely move, his thoughts are running a mile a minute and he knows now that his life is forever changed.

Things that didn’t make sense before make sense now.

Questions that couldn’t be answered can be answered now with 100% certainty.

Every thought and every question can be explained with five words. These five words hold the answer to every unsolved case in Brett’s life.

_ I’m in love with Aleks. _

It explains why he acts the way he does with Aleks, why he thinks the way he does with Aleks, and most importantly, why he and Aleks are so close.

Brett Hundley is **in love** with Aleks Marchant.

It’s not something he can push back anymore. He can continue not to act on it, and he’ll try his damn best not to (keyword being_ try) _ because if he makes one wrong move, he’ll fuck up everything with Aleks and if there’s anything worse than not being able to date Aleks, it’s not being able to spend any time with him at all.

Brett is in love with Aleks. He is so irrevocably, so irresistibly in love with him that it hurts but he can’t help it.

All he can do now is acknowledge, accept it, and continue his life with Aleks - the **love **of his life.


	22. Holding Onto Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Aleks have a sickeningly sweet moment together in the morning after Spice Gauntlet. They also head onto Funhaus' Talking Stalkings show and get caught in a craaaaaazy backstage bit, dude!!

**October 4th, 2017**

Brett wakes up on the couch the next morning with Aleks nowhere in sight-

_ Flush. _

A tired smile prickles at Brett’s lips at the knowledge that Aleks is nearby before a yawn parts them open. He scratches at his beard and sits up fully against the back of the couch to stretch out his arms, looking around the room as he does so.

Colors seem much more lively now. The world around him is of much higher quality, like it’s being filmed with the best cinema cameras as opposed to a snapshot taken by the very first Android in existence. These blankets are softer too, and Brett swears he can feel every individual thread upon his bare, hairy legs.

Brett turns his head over when he hears the nearby bathroom door opening and that’s when Brett sees it, the most breathtakingly beautiful sight of _ Aleks. _

In an instant, the world around Aleks and all of its interesting nuances cease to be of importance.

The love of his life has messy hair, no longer brushed over to the side as it was last night. Some of the blonde strands fall on top of his forehead and when Aleks yawns, he reaches up his hand to cover his mouth but Brett’s sweatshirt is a bit too big on him, it covers the majority of his hands, and the collar even dips down a little, shows off the one hickey on Aleks’ collarbone that Aleks had asked him for last night, but this all only helps in bringing the cuteness that Aleks possesses to life.

Aleks drops his hand from his mouth and runs it back through his hair. He squints his eyes open at Brett and the corner of his lips turn into a subtle grin, a knowing one, as he saunters over to the couch arm.

Brett’s locked in a dreamy trance and he has no idea that Aleks is watching him, trying to figure out what he’s looking at and what exactly he’s thinking.

_ God, I’m so in love with him. _

Yes, Brett’s in love with Aleks. It’s obvious to him now, but he still shouldn’t do anything about it.

_ Shouldn’t _ being the keyword. Just like he tried not to fall in love with Aleks.

_ Tried _being the keyword.

Tried and shouldn’t - both words that still leave an iota of possibility on the table.

“Good morning, daddy,” Aleks greets quietly. “What are you looking at?”

Brett blinks up to Aleks’ soft, smiling face, catches the questioning raise in his eyebrows. He takes in a deep breath as his eyes encircle Aleks’ facial features, _ I really am in love with him, _and upon the exhale, he smiles and says, “just looking at you. You really are an angel.” He looks up into Aleks’ eyes and holds out his hand. “Come back over here.”

Aleks walks around to take Brett’s hand and his smile brightens when Brett pulls him onto his lap. “I’d really love to stay here with you,” Aleks tells him as he brings up his hands to clutch in the collar of Brett’s shirt, “but don’t we gotta work today?”

“We do.”

“We should get started with breakfast then, shouldn’t we?”

“Should, yes.” Brett nods. “But lemme ask you a little something, okay?”

“We should skip work to elope in Vegas.”

Brett’s laugh wavers as he drops his head onto Aleks’ shoulder and he tries to ignore the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach. “Nooo, nothing like that,” he mumbles.

“Oops. What is it then?”

Brett turns his head to look up at Aleks with a smile, the smallest bit of red tinting his cheeks. “Do you want breakfast or do you wanna skip that and cuddle with me here until we absolutely need to leave?”

“Ooh, you’re taking a page out of my book of fun.”

_ Should’ve been taking pages out a long time ago. _

With a chuckle, Brett goes on to ask, “I’m taking it that’s a yes?”

Aleks smiles down at Brett, rather sweetly, and with a nod, he hitches himself that much closer. “I’d love to cuddle with you, daddy,” he answers quietly.

“Then get under here with him, angel, don’t leave him waitiiing,” Brett whines and quickly wraps up Aleks in the covers with him before he falls to the side on the couch, and Aleks laughs with glee, one that fills Brett with unmitigated happiness, as he clutches onto Brett’s shirt.

When Aleks’ laughter dies down, he tightens the leg he has around Brett’s waist to press closer, as close as he can, and he hides his face against his neck. “You’re so cute when you whine,” he admits softly. “Like, you don’t get how cute you are.”

“Shut up, you’re cuter,” Brett mumbles.

“You.”

“No, you.”

“No, it’s you.”

“Take a compliment!” Brett tells him with the inklings of a devious smile. “You’re fucking cute and you know it, you fucking _ minx.” _

“I’m not - Brett!”

That laughter of glee pushes back out of Aleks’ mouth as Brett proceeds to press rapid fire kisses all over Aleks’ cheek, jawline, and neck and Aleks tilts his head over to the side to give Brett more access.

Brett likes to think that each kiss he gives Aleks right now is an unspoken compliment, an unspoken thought, and he has a never ending supply. Compliments of _ “you’re cute”, “you’re sweet”, “you’re creative”, _ are pressed over his cheek and thoughts of _ “you make me whole” _ and _ “you’re my new reason for living” _ are lined along his jaw.

He saves the most important thought for last - the thought of _ “I couldn’t help but fall in love with you”, _ which is deeply set over Aleks’ lips.

The both of their bodies relax completely when their lips touch. Brett has an arm wrapped around Aleks’ waist, Aleks is still clutching onto his shirt, their legs are sort of intertwining with each other and they’re blanketed from shoulder to toe but the majority of that warmth radiates from the closeness of each other. The blanket acts more of a shield that protects them from the reality of the outside world.

They pull away but it’s not even a full inch, only enough so they can nuzzle their noses back and forth, their lips parted open before they steal just one more kiss. Then they press their foreheads together and though their eyes are closed, they share tranquil smiles.

“I remember when we first met,” Brett starts quietly, “before I traded in my hairline for these muscles you like so much. You asked me what it was like to live in LA, if it was worth the move.”

“You said it was.”

“I did.”

“So… did something change?”

“No… well, it has, but only for the better.” Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and pulls away just enough so he can fully look over Aleks’ face. “But I’m bringing it up because I wanna turn the question around on you. Was it worth the move for you? I know we kinda talked about it last week but I wanna get more into it.”

Aleks opens his eyes with a hum and looks down to Brett’s lips, partly in thought, partly in a longing manner. “I like how there’s a lot to do here,” he says. “There’s always something and LA has something for everybody. It’s like I wake up every day, and there’s always something new to do, something exciting,” he chuckles. “It’s crowded though. And some people don’t uh, have a concept of boundaries and personal space, the traffic is terrible but I knew that coming here.”

“You’re making many valid points,” Brett chuckles. “But it sounds sort of neutral so far.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah. What’s your final verdict?”

Aleks rolls his lips back and looks up to the ceiling in deeper reflection. His eyes wander all around, like he’s having an internal debate with himself, but then he finally relents with a deep breath and as he looks back down to Brett, he says, “LA is worth it. Out of everything, all the good things and bad things, there’s one big thing LA has that Colorado doesn’t, something that’s better than the snow we’re gonna see again 2 months from now, and that something seals the deal for me.”

“Well what is it?” Brett asks.

A slow smile pulls up the corners of Aleks’ lips and he looks back down to Brett’s, with pure longing. He closes his eyes and leans in to leave a lingering peck to Brett’s lips and when he pulls away to rest their foreheads together, he whispers one word, just one simple word.

Aleks whispers, “you.”

And that one simple word births an abundance of butterflies in Brett’s stomach, so many of them that he thinks it rivals the world population. These butterflies escape through his stomach to flutter in every vein, every ventricle inside him and Brett has to work his hardest to stop his butterflies from fluttering. He has to really think hard on making these butterflies fly in formation.

Soon the butterflies come back together to form a straight line and they all fly in peaceful harmony, right out of Brett’s mouth.

“Do you remember just now when I said that living in LA has changed, but for the better?” Brett asks quietly as he looks into Aleks’ eyes, peers deep upon them.

Aleks nods and his smile doesn’t falter once.

“It’s because of you,” Brett admits. “Everything is so much better with you, Aleks. Going to bed and waking up, going to work and coming back home, going to clubs, going to dinner, going to the beach, and every single thing between,” he chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief as his eyes look away from Aleks’ eyes to roam all over his face, to wonder if this really is real and not a figment of his imagination. “God, you have no idea how-”

_ You have no idea how much I love you. _

Brett swallows down those words, presses his lips together into a tight smile before it softens enough to allow him to speak again. “You just… you have no idea how important you are to me.”

That statement isn’t untrue. Aleks really has no idea of the importance he has in Brett’s life, but it still feels like a lie, like he’s still hiding something - that also isn’t untrue. He_ is _hiding something, and that something was pretty big before but now if this something gets out, it could really fuck up what they have.

Liking your best friend can be excusable. It doesn’t have to be the end of a friendship if you know how to navigate it with precision but being _ in love _ with your best friend, who probably likes you but _ certainly _ isn’t in love with you, is practically a death sentence.

Brett’s realization that he’s in love with Aleks comes with one big pro and one big con. The pro is that he has the answers to most of the questions in his life that never made sense but the con is that he now knows how much more he needs. He needs a lot more than just sex and fun, he wants the entire package and granted, he doesn’t have a burning need for this right now but it’s going to sneak up on him one day, just like that realization, and that’s when things will get a lot harder for the both of them.

Basically, things are still as complicated as ever. Perhaps moreso.

* * *

**October 6th, 2017**

Aleks swipes back through his Camera Roll until he gets to the first selfie he and Brett ever took in bed together.

_ “You know what might actually help though?” Brett asks. _

_ “Do tell.” _

_ “You wanna take a selfie right now?” Brett suggests. “Anytime you’re feeling anxious, all you gotta do is look at that selfie and know that your good daddy, Brett, is there for you.” _

_ Aleks’ head perks up along with his despondent and he looks to Brett with a hopeful glint in his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” _

_ “Aleks, if I ever say no to that question, I want you to slap me.” _

They were just as cute then and they’re just as… actually, no, they’re even cuter now! They’ve steadily been growing more affectionate with each other since Aleks’ birthday but in the last few weeks, especially these previous few days, Brett’s been all over him.

Aleks has nothing against it at all. His only complaint is that Brett hasn’t done it with him sooner but it adds to the theory that Brett likes him. There’s not a reason Aleks can think of to go against that point, only reasons of why they_ can’t _be together in that way but just because that might be true, doesn’t take away the huge possibility that Brett wants more with him.

… it’s still complicated, but at least the questions Aleks has are starting to get answers. He’s thankful for this progress between them and he wonders what’s next.

“What the fuck are you doing at my desk?” James asks.

Aleks swipes back to the most recent pic on the Camera Roll, James’ words falling on deaf ears. The recent picture is of him and Brett from this morning and Brett is holding up Aleks’ phone, he’s winking into the camera with a big grin on his face as Aleks peers up into the lens with a small smile, his face mostly buried in Brett’s neck.

They took this picture right after they had some… pretty sensual sex, if Aleks is being honest. Brett had spooned him from behind and fucked him like he did the second time, long and languid thrusts that gradually build up into a rough, fast pace but the sex was secondary to the true pleasure of being close to one another.

James blinks a few times and then steps forward to snap his fingers by Aleks’ ear but it still goes by unnoticed as Aleks briefly immerses himself in his thoughts.

_ Aleks rolls his lips back with a loud, content hum and his eyes lid shut momentarily when Brett thrusts back in all the way. “Fuck, you’re so big,” he breathes out as he turns his head to look back at Brett. _

_ “I’m big, you’re tight, but it feels fucking perfect,” Brett breathes out a chuckle and glances to Aleks’ lips before he steals a quick peck, right as he slides out all the way to the tip. “God, you’re perfect.” _

_ Aleks closes his eyes again with a loud moan when Brett pushes back in. “Y-Yeah?” he moans. “Tell me how you really think.” _

_ Brett just bites his lips and shakes his head. “Mmm, I need the whole day for that, angel.” _

Aleks relaxes in his seat as a dreamy smile makes its way onto his face but his smile quickly falls when a paper ball hits him square in the nose. “Yo, who threw-”

James smirks at Aleks as he hops atop his desk. “This is my desk. Get the fuck up.”

With a huff from his nose, Aleks shoves his phone back into his pocket. “Say please and I will.”

Honestly? He thought this was his desk. Maybe that’s what he gets for thinking about Brett too hard.

“I’ll throw this fucking chair away into the dumpster with you in it and you know I will.”

“You’re lucky Brett isn’t out here to hear that,” Aleks tells James as he stands up from his chair. “He’d throw you into the dumpster instead.”

James takes his usual seat with a smile and remarks, “I’m not scared of your boyfriend.”

Aleks groans and rolls his eyes up at the ceiling as he hops atop James’ desk. “Dude, he’s not my fucking boyfriend and I don’t…” He blinks and purses his lips over to the side, looking down at the floor. “I don’t… I don’t like him either… so…”

James thins his lips together and widens his eyes in a look of disbelief as he swivels his chair to face the desktop. “Sure you don’t,” he mumbles.

Aleks hears it, James knows he hears it, but Aleks doesn’t reply to it because he doesn’t think he’ll sound believable, not to _ James. _ If there’s anybody who has a chance of knowing Aleks better than Brett, it’s James. He knows how Aleks feels with every single infliction, every single word, and every single expression, no matter how small. He can’t really hide anything from James - the vice versa is also true.

Besides the few times he and Brett have gone out with Lindsey and James, Aleks and James haven’t really seen each other outside of work in a few months… which doesn’t mean they aren’t best friends! They still talk, they still vent about their problems that only the other would understand, but they just have clashing ideals of what’s fun. James is the type to go to horse races and Aleks wants to go out to clubs and get hammered, either by the drinks or Brett, though his preferences are heavily skewed towards the latter.

On top of that, James and Lindsey have only been dating for a little over a month. Logically, they’re going to spend most of their time with each other.

Come on, it's not like James is... like, what? Secretly burned out from Cow Chop and planning his leave from it in the following year? Or two? That would _never_ happen!

“Anyways,” Aleks speaks up, “how are things with you and Lindsey? Still good?”

“Oh yeah, dude.” James nods. “Perfect in paradise. I'm gonna visit her in an hour or two, cause she’s sick? I wanna make sure she’s feeling okay, think it might be a stomach flu.”

“Awww, look at you!” Aleks smiles big and affectionately pushes at James’ shoulder. “You’re such a good boyfriend, dude!”

“And you missed your chance with me to be with Brett.”

Aleks narrows his eyes judgmentally and James laughs at his reaction before he tells Aleks, “kidding! Just givin’ you shit, dude, that’s all it is.”

“Uh huh.”

“How’s your uh, _ thing _ with him going?” James asks as he crosses his arms behind his head, his gaze averting to Aleks. “Are you two-”

“Okay so dude, guess where me and Brett are going in a couple of months?” Aleks urges with a bright smile.

“... you’re going to Vegas to elope?”

“No, man!” Aleks swats at James’ shoulder. “I already made that joke with him.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“James-”

“James laughs again. “Okay uhhh, I dunno, man. Where are you two going?”

“So Brett had this really awesome idea, right?” Aleks leans back on James’ desk and looks up to the ceiling, eyes twinkling with mirth. “I told him I was feeling a little homesick, missing Colorado and the snow and all that, and he told me that we should just go there together the week of Christmas. We’re getting a room at this nice ski resort and we’re gonna celebrate Christmas together and just hang with each other annnd I’m like…” He looks back down to his feet, that are gently kicking back and forth. “I dunno, I’m just really excited,” he says quietly.

James tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows in a furtive manner. “Uh… just the two of you?”

“Mmhm.” Aleks nods.

James bites down hard on his lips and quickly averts all of his attention to his desktop. “So you and Brett, are going away together, _ alone _ together, during _ Christmas week, _ to a nice ski resort?”

“Yeah, dawg, isn’t that tight?”

“Yeah. It’s… real tight. _ Dawg _. Y’all are still just... fucking around, right?”

Aleks opens his mouth to tell James that it’s exactly the case but his mouth shuts just as quick when he thinks about his and Brett’s thing with each other for more than a second.

Obviously, it’s not the first time Aleks has contemplated the deeper meanings of their actions with each other. He can’t even deny that this is now way beyond physical but it hasn’t fully reached the other realm either, the realm where he and Brett are together. It’s this unspoken state of limbo, a very sexy game of limbo, as Geoff himself so eloquently put it with their own relationship months and months prior but this is, interestingly enough, the situation he finds himself with Brett.

They’re exclusively fucking each other, but they’re allowed to date whoever... except neither one of them has dated anybody since this started. It’s only been the other, always the other and nobody else. Aleks’ reason? He likes Brett, obviously. Brett’s reason? Aleks doesn’t know for certain but he has a damn good idea of what that is now.

So it’s still sex. But it’s not sex. And it’s not a relationship either. He and Brett sort of just… are.

It’s really only a minute of silence but a minute of nothing can feel like so much longer and in that minute is when the man of the hour himself makes his presence known.

“Yo, James,” Brett greets with a nod as he wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulder. “You know how Lindsey’s doing?”

Aleks smiles up at Brett when he feels his warm arm and Brett shares the smile before he looks to James again, Aleks too.

He wonders if Brett knows how much of an importance he has in his life. Aleks could tell Brett all the reasons why he’s important but he doesn’t think Brett will be able to truly grasp how much he means it. The ability to swoop in to save Aleks at every convenient moment, for example, is one of the reasons why he’s so damn important.

“She’s sick but I mean, she’s fine apart from that.” James shrugs. “I was gonna see her kinda soon-”

“Why don’t you just take an early day?” Brett tells him. “There’s not much going on and me and Aleks gotta head out early anyways to-”

“Why are we heading out early?” Aleks asks as he looks up to Brett.

“Right! So Funhaus wants us to be on Talking Stalkings,” Brett elaborates. “And they want us drunk. You and I need to do some pregaming.”

“... you and I are gonna be drunk?” Aleks blinks. “On live camera?”

Last time Aleks and Brett were drunk, they said _ “I love you” _ to each other. _ On camera. _ It’s gonna happen again? _ Live? _ Is that a good idea?

Maybe it’ll be different if they’re doing it at the Funhaus office though. They’ll have an innate sense of awareness as to where they are, at an office instead of a nightclub where grinding upon each other is the norm.

“What happens if you two fuck on camera?” James asks. “Are they gonna be prepared for that?”

Brett clears his throat and looks around the office but everybody else has their headphones in. “We got that out of our system this morning,” he reveals.

“Hell yeah, dude!” Aleks grins hugely and high fives Brett at the same time Brett raises his hand for that exact purpose.

“Disgusting.” James shakes his head and stands up from the desk. “I’m taking myself away from this toxic work environment.”

Brett waves a goodbye at James as he makes his way to the bathroom. “Bye bye! Me and Aleks won’t fuck on your desk while you’re gone, I promise!”

Aleks laughs and gently pushes at Brett’s chest as he looks up to him. “I mean, we could. Just gotta delete security footage and uh, we’re golden.”

_ Not like it’d be the first time. _

Brett chuckles and moves his mouth by Aleks’ ear. “Don’t tempt me. Save it for tonight,” he says lowly before he pulls away to give Aleks a knowing look as he backs up from the desk. “You up to get day drunk later, dude?”

Aleks swallows back the burning desire to walk with Brett back to his office to suck him dry underneath his desk and he does so successfully. He gives Brett a thumbs up and says, with surprising confidence, “you fucking know it, my man.”

With a wink, Brett says, “sounds like a good date to me”, and then he turns around to walk back to his office.

Aleks breathes in deeply and exhales a long sigh as he watches Brett walk away. The same dreamy smile that was present on his face earlier is back once again and it continues to stay while he makes his way back to his own desk - straight across from Brett’s office.

Honestly, Aleks finds it amazing that he and Brett still act like this with each other at the office, like they’re any ol’ pair of best friends who don’t fuck each other. They flirt more than best friends should, of course, but the office is about the only place now where they only act friendly. Outside of the office, they’re like any other couple in the world, especially in the privacy and comfort of their own home.

Except they’re not like any ol’ pair of best friends and they’re not like any other couple in the world either. Aleks wishes he could find a succinct label to place on their relationship but he thinks they’re getting closer to that goal with each day that passes.

When that day finally comes, Aleks doesn’t know. He just hopes it isn’t too far.

* * *

“And today on a very special episode of Talking Stalkings!” James of Funhaus announces. “We have Aleks from Cow Chop here with us today and… well, we just wanted him but it was contingent on him being on this guy’s lap the whole time so along with Aleks, we have Brett! Also from Cow Chop but nowhere near as popular!”

Everybody on set claps for the duo and as Brett tightens the arm he has around Aleks’ waist, he pulls the mic forward with his other hand to mumble into it, “Aleks fucked me in the Uber on the way over.”

“YEAH!” Bruce cheers and claps his hands even harder.

“That’s a very enthusiastic_ ‘yeah’ _ from Bruce,” James says. “Can we get another applause from the audience for Aleks and Brett’s bravery today?”

Everybody claps for the duo once more and Bruce and Adam shout their cheers quite loudly, along with a drunk Lawrence who stumbled onto set right when the second round of applause happened.

Aleks and Brett succeeded greatly in pregaming before the show and they’re just as drunk as everybody else, maybe even a bit more so. The only sober person on set is Elyse, god bless her soul, but she seems to be enjoying it all at the present moment. Chances are high that her enjoyment will drop the more this mess goes on.

Talking Stalkings is… well, there’s not an easy way to explain Talking Stalkings. It’s supposed to be a talk show centered around the old 90’s show, Silk Stalkings, but of course that’s only a backdrop for the incredibly weird antics that Funhaus gets up to with each other. It’s basically a more disastrous version of The Eric Andre Show, and arguably a lot funnier depending on who you ask.

There’s no clear direction for what’s going on so while James discusses various topics, Aleks and Brett go off into their own world - a popular trend whenever they’re drunk together.

Aleks shifts around on Brett’s lap to get more comfortable and as he clutches a hand in the collar of his tan, long sleeved shirt, he mumbles into Brett’s ear well away from the mic, “what do you think people are gonna think when they see me on you like this?”

Brett raises his eyebrows in wonderment as he grabs his open beer bottle from the end table to take a long swig. He licks his lips clean and moves his mouth by Aleks’ ear to say, “they’re definitely… like, definitely, 100%, will think you’re mine.”

Aleks hums and wraps his other arm around Brett’s neck. “I like that. Other people knowing I’m yours, knowing you’re mine.”

“They gotta know, man.” Brett nods. “Like… why even hide it, ya know?” He gives a yawn as he drops his face into Aleks’ neck.

With a grin, Aleks bites at his lips and looks around the set from under his tinted ray bans.

A few people glance over at them but it’s for no more than a second or two. Or three. His and Brett’s behavior with each other is becoming common practice in videos, on the Cow Chop channel and on others.

Some wonder if there’s more to it - those people are the glancers. Some others think it’s a bit and nothing more - those people keep to themselves. Though, everybody finds it interesting.

He breathes in deeply and pokes Brett on the nose to get his attention.

Brett wrinkles his nose and looks back up to Aleks with slitted eyes.

Aleks beckons Brett closer with a finger and then he moves his mouth by his ear again to whisper, “let’s go make out. Somewhere…” He shrugs. “... somewhere private.”

Why does Aleks suddenly want to make out with Brett during a live broadcast? Well, Brett’s hot. He’s right here. And he’s incredibly drunk. Any sense of logic and reasoning throws itself out of the window and right now, making out with Brett while a live broadcast is going on, where nothing can be edited, sounds just _ dandy _ to him.

Brett’s eyes quickly dart around the set before his gaze drops to the ground to focus deeply on his thoughts. “But… where?” he asks.

“Maybe like, their actual office. Cause like, everybody is out here, ya know? Nobody’s gonna interrupt us in there when they’re out here.”

Brett hums to himself and raises his head back up. He takes another long swig of his beer before he sets it down and after swallowing that bit of liquid courage, he asks, “what’s gonna happen if we get caught?”

_ Oh shit! I didn’t think of that! _

Aleks blinks a few times and his tongue pokes around the inside of his cheek as he tries to figure out how they’ll dance around that but in his drunk mind, the answer is simple. He whispers that simple answer into Brett’s ear: “we tell ‘em it’s a bit.”

And that simple answer is good enough for Brett.

Brett smiles brightly and tells Aleks, “I’ll follow your lead.”

A loud laugh releases from Aleks’ mouth when he hops off Brett’s lap and he takes Brett’s hand to pull him up from the couch. Brett laughs out loud with Aleks as he intertwines their fingers together and before anybody can properly ask them where they’re going, Aleks and Brett are racing away from the set, hand in hand, and giggling like schoolgirls.

“We’ll be back!” Aleks yells from behind the set.

James’ eyes widen when he watches the pair leave and the corner of his lips tilt into a weird smile. He blinks a few times and looks to Bruce as he asks, “you know what they’re doing at all?”

“Yeah, chief.” Bruce nods. “They’re gonna make out.”

James rolls his lips back in thought, because they didn’t discuss this _ at all _, but it’s none of his business. “Oh, right, right.” He nods back. “That was uh, part of the laundry list of contingencies Aleks laid out for us, so we can have his star power on our award winning talk show. Well, alright!” He claps his hands together and looks into the camera. “While they do that, let’s get started with the actual show!”

When Aleks and Brett are a hallway or two away from the set, they pause to steal a quick kiss from each other with a quick bout of laughter.

“Dude, we’re so fucking slick,” Aleks chuckles.

“Yeah, bro, nobody’s gonna know what we’re doing at all!”

Suddenly, Brett grabs the back of Aleks’ knees to hoist him into the air and Aleks gasps with surprise as he wraps his arms around Brett’s neck to safely hold on. Brett holds tightly onto his thighs and he grins hugely at Aleks, raises his eyebrows briefly before his gaze dips down to Aleks’ lips.

“Now let’s head into that office, huh?” Brett hums as he continues down the hall.

“You’re such a fuckin’ romantic, dawg,” Aleks comments. “Pickin’ me up like this, cuddling with me over breakfast, the fuckin’ awesome ass sensual ass sex we had this morning? You got somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me?”

Brett blows out a breath and he looks back off to the side. “Yeah… I do,” he mumbles. “Lotta stuff.”

“Like what?”

“I love you, man. I love you a lot.”

“Well yeah, I love you too,” Aleks hums and hitches himself closer to Brett’s body, moves to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. “I know you love me.”

“No, man, I love you. I _ really _ love you,” Brett tells Aleks as they step inside the actual Funhaus offices. There’s a table full of alcohol and cups set aside by one of the black couches and the sight of alcohol is a beacon that Brett continues to follow.

“I really love you too, duuude,” Aleks sighs and shakes his head. “Nevermind, it’s okay. I get it. Like, I really do, dude.”

Aleks loves Brett, Brett loves him, and everything is perfect in paradise! If that’s all Brett was wanting to tell Aleks, then that’s fucking awesome. He’ll never get tired of hearing Brett say that he loves him! It’d be more awesome if Brett was like, _ in love _ with him, really fucking awesome, but uh… you know, Aleks isn’t looking for that.

He just likes Brett. A lot.

And he thinks about dating Brett. A lot. 

… and he also thinks about spending the rest of his life with Brett, a lot, but he’s not in love with Brett. If he were in love with Brett, he’d have to absolutely want more than what he has with him and he does want more but he’s fine with all it is right now.

Besides, he’s pretty sure Brett likes him. Brett might not admit to it right now, but Aleks isn’t going to force it out - he doesn’t quite have the ability to do so at the moment.

“Heh,” Brett chuckles. “Do, dude. Sounds like_ dodo.” _

Aleks grimaces as Brett lays him down on the couch. “Brett, that’s groooooss,” he whines.

“You’re not gross though.” Brett winks down at Aleks and climbs onto the couch between his legs. “Lemme show you how… how… fuck, dude,” he chuckles again and drops his head. “Dude, I’m drunk.”

“You smell drunk.”

“Kettle calling the pot brown.”

That isn’t the correct metaphor at all but Aleks is still able to process it, even in his drunk state, because he and Brett are always on the same wavelength. When one of them can’t quite find the words to say, the other has their back. When one of them is struggling to get across what they want, the other understands perfectly.

It’s how Aleks knows that Brett wants to show him how completely_ not _gross he is. He figures Brett wants to do it with his lips, that’s the reason they’re here after all, and when he pulls Brett down by his shoulders to press their lips together, Aleks figures right.

Brett immediately slots their bodies together and he wraps an arm around Aleks’ waist, the other hand threading through the back of Aleks’ hair as his tongue messily rolls along Aleks’ lips and Aleks’ tongue bumps against it to engage in a sloppy battle. It’s quite a fun battle too, not serious at all. Aleks can even feel Brett’s smile against his mouth and it makes him smile in turn.

Aleks really does feel like he and Brett are the only people in this office and they are, at this current moment. Everybody else is on the Talking Stalkings set or hovering around it, ready to jump in when needed, but he and Brett are just guests. They can do whatever they want, within reason, and right now, they want to do each other.

The legs against Brett’s side tighten and Brett presses himself down against Aleks’ crotch with a moan before his tongue pushes inside. Aleks groans with approval and tips Brett’s hat off his head to run his fingers back through the dark mane of hair.

They don’t hear the footsteps coming into the room but thankfully for them, the source of these footsteps don’t notice them… at first.

Lawrence makes a beeline for the alcohol as he tries to adjust the live feed camera on the top of his head. “Why are they keepin’ this from me?” he slurs. “All this… this good alcohol…”

When Lawrence makes it to the table, he pours himself a cup from one of the many bottles and Lawrence brings the rim of his cup to his lips as his head rises again. He squints his eyes and glances off to the side and when he sees what’s happening on the couch, his eyes widen and he immediately spits the contents back into the cup.

“WOAH!” Lawrence exclaims as he fully turns his head for the camera to more accurately capture Aleks and Brett.

Aleks and Brett’s heads suddenly turn to the side. They both look up into the lens of Lawrence’s camera and Aleks is at a lost for words. Brett, on the other hand, knows exactly what to say.

Brett smirks and he begins to giggle. “Hehehe, funny biiiiit~”

_ … oh! Yeah. Totally. _

Aleks fully wraps his arms around Brett’s neck. With a smirk, he asks, “yo, you wanna get in on this?”

Lawrence blinks a few times and says nothing as he turns away on his heel to leave the room with his precious drink in hand.

“Why are we sooo fucking good at fooling people, dude?” Brett slurs. “That was fucking… Oscar winning. Leonardo DiCaprio is so fuckin’ jealous.”

“Did you notice how quiet he got?” Aleks scoffs. “He didn’t know to handle it, dawg.”

“Handle what?” Brett asks.

“Us. Idiot.”

“Words really hurt.”

“I know a way to make it better, daddy.”

“You do?!” Brett asks with genuine anticipation. “How - mmm…”

They continue with their fun and messy makeout session and it allows Aleks and Brett go back to their own world with each other - for a few minutes until they have to go back on set. They stay away too long and people will really get suspicious but a few minutes with each other is all they need.

… though it’s hard to debunk suspicions if they were just caught on live camera.

But hey, it’s all just a bit, right?


	23. Shadows In The Neon Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tough conversation with Lindsey, and an unexpected duet with Aleks, Brett makes a decision about his newfound feelings for Aleks.

**October 7th, 2017**

Aleks awakens with a whine and firmly presses both of his hands against his forehead.

“Aleks?” Brett asks quietly, his eyes squinting open and over. “What’s wrong?”

“Hangover,” Aleks mumbles. “I’m dying.”

Brett yawns and sits up fully on the bed. “I’ll be right back with some aspirin and water, okay? Just stay here.”

“Thank you,” Aleks croaks.

A kiss is laid upon the top of Aleks’ head and despite the dull pain throbbing throughout, that one action is enough to make Aleks’ lips pull up into a smile. It was a small peck but it’s these actions that express thousands of unspoken words and for Aleks, it’s Brett basically telling him that he cares and that he loves him.

Platonically. Not… okay, listen, the differences between platonic and romantic love don’t always need to be described, especially when platonic is all it’ll ever be between them in this department.

Brett leaves the room and Aleks takes a hand off his head to grab his phone and check all the notifications. He knows the screen will make the pain worse but it’s instinct to check his phone upon waking up. He’s already doing it, it’ll only take a few minutes, and then he’ll drop it back on the nightstand to be forgotten about.

Aleks squints his eyes at the subject line of one of his emails. It reads _ “Let’s renegotiate!” _ and when he sees who the sender is from, the landlord of the apartment he _ was _ going to move into at first, he rolls his eyes and swipes that notification away.

He’s perfectly happy living with Brett right now anyways. Aleks wants there to be more with him and Brett but they’ll get there someday. Eventually. Either way, he doesn’t really have a reason to move out at the moment. There’s a reason he hasn’t looked since moving in with Brett all those months ago.

After he swipes that away, he comes to the realization that his notification screen is flooded with Twitter mentions and replies. Aleks furrows his eyebrows together and opens the reply at the top of the heap…

… and it’s a picture of him and Brett.

From last night’s Talking Stalkings live broadcast.

More specifically, the part of the live broadcast where they were making out with each other.

The very helpful caption reads:_ “I don’t know if this is real or fake anymore.” _

Aleks swallows down uncertainty as he backs out of the tweet to check another.

_ “Did @ImmortalHD turn @HungryHundar gay? Cuz im down for some bi boys~” _

Aleks raises his eyebrows in brief acknowledgement.

_ They’re not entirely wrong. _

One more tweet and then he’ll call off the search. Aleks doesn’t need to read every single damn tweet he and Brett are being mentioned in to know that they’ve grabbed a lot of people’s attention with their kiss from last night.

_ “Genuine question for @HungryHundar - are you gay? I thought this was a joke with @ImmortalHD at first but I’m having questions lol” _

Aleks’ gaze drops to the bed as he tosses his phone back onto the nightstand. He screws his eyes tightly shut with a groan when the next round of pain suddenly spreads through his head and he presses hard at his forehead in an attempt to squander it.

If Aleks were like Brett, he’d go ahead and ask everybody why the fuck it matters if Brett is actually into guys or not. Like, he is into guys but that doesn’t mean he has to make that public knowledge. Why can’t he and Aleks just be gay on camera with each other without people asking questions?

It’s part of being a content creator and Aleks knows that. He knew there were going to be a lot of invasive personal questions and it’s why he came out with being bisexual a little bit after he told Brett and got his approval. The less questions people ask, the better.

But it’s still fucking annoying. That’s never going to change, just like he won’t change what he does with Brett on camera. It’s not like they plan on being gay with each other, not all the time. It’s just… a thing that happens.

Aleks can hear the footsteps near the room and he turns his head, anticipating to see Brett at the door. A few seconds later and the door opens with a very gentle _ click _to reveal Brett at the other side, still dressed in a t-shirt and briefs, carrying a bottle of water and a bottle of aspirin.

“Again, thank you,” Aleks says quietly as he sits up on the bed.

“Can’t have my angel in any pain,” Brett tells him with a smile as he bumps the door close. “Do you just have the headache?”

“Yeah, thankfully.”

“That’s good. Could be worse.”

“How come you don’t have a hangover?”

“Oh, my head hurts,” Brett chuckles. “But you’re my first priority,” he reminds Aleks as he steps over to the bed to hand him the aspirin and water.

Aleks watches Brett with a fond smile as Brett turns on the lamp at the nightstand to illuminate the very dark room.

_ You’re my first priority. _

It’s another one of those things that adds to the laundry list of things that Brett has said and done to make Aleks think he likes him. The list of things for the other side of the equation is actually very empty, not a notch to be found. He doesn’t have that verbal confirmation from Brett yet but Aleks is trying to figure out a way to coax that out of him.

“You’re a good daddy,” Aleks says softly while he takes out the pills. “Putting me first above your own needs.”

“Well, I need you,” Brett explains as he walks over to climb into his side of the bed. “So I don’t think I’m putting you above any of my needs at all.”

Aleks frowns. “Are you gonna be fine? You’re my first priority too.”

Brett looks to Aleks with a fond smile. “A hangover hasn’t killed me yet. I’ll be fine,” he assures with a yawn, sitting up against the headboard of the bed and looking off to the window blinds.

Aleks follows his line of sight as he swallows down the pills with water.

It’s raining and storming quite heavily so of course, it’s dark outside. Sounds of raindrops can be heard attacking the window and dripping down but it’s actually quite soothing, just as long as there’s no thunder. The rain is always a lovely sight, a lovely sound to behold when Aleks doesn’t have to actively stand in it. From the comforts of his bedroom with a man he appreciates more than anyone and anything else, the rain just adds to the overall safe, serene atmosphere.

Aleks turns his sight away to set the aspirin and water back on the nightstand and he rolls his eyes when his phone lights up with even more Twitter notifications. “Well if you wanna stay fine, I wouldn’t go on Twitter right now then.”

Brett gives an exaggerated sigh as he reaches for his own phone. “Oh, angel,” he says very sweetly. “Now that you say that, I have to check Twitter.”

“Nooo, Brett, people are being annoying,” Aleks complains while he shifts over to Brett against the headboard. “Seriously, don’t-”

“I won’t go Defcon 1 on anybody,” Brett promises. “I just wanna see what’s up. It’s gotta be about Talking Stalkings, right?”

Aleks shrugs and wraps the both of his arms around one of Brett’s. “Yeah, maybe.”

Brett’s lips thin together and he breathes in deeply through his nose. “It’s just gonna be the same shit we’ve been getting. What’s gonna be new?”

Brett figures right when he checks his Twitter to see the exact same comments that Aleks saw. Aleks studies Brett’s face for any traces of annoyance but Brett is… rather calm. He just scrolls on through, his expression never changing, and it’s actually kind of weird. What suddenly changed? Why isn’t Brett rattling off petty comments about how people need to mind their own business?

“You seem strangely fine with it,” Aleks comments.

“Honestly?” Brett shrugs and sets his phone off to the side again. “They don’t bother me now.”

“Why?"

Brett purses his lips together and crosses his arms over his chest. “Uh… I dunno. They just don’t.” After a sigh, Brett goes on to say, “if anything, it just makes me realize that I gotta let people know that like, _ ‘hey, I suck dick sometimes’, _ because let’s be real, they’re gonna find out eventually-”

“So you’re gonna just tell people you’re bi? Just like that?”

“That’s what you did.”

“I just…” Aleks lets go of Brett and looks up to the ceiling. “I don’t want you doing it because people are pressuring you.”

“They’re not,” Brett chuckles and sits himself back against the headboard as he spreads his legs. “Get over here.” He pats the space in front of him. “Come on.”

Aleks looks down at the space between Brett’s legs for a few moments before he finally relents with a shrug. He climbs over Brett’s leg and rests himself back against Brett’s chest and he can’t help the smile that paints itself over his lips when Brett wraps those big, strong arms around him from behind.

“Listen to me, angel,” Brett murmurs against his ear, and Aleks closes his eyes to fully drink in the satisfying sound of Brett’s voice. “If I’m not worried about it, neither should you. Nobody’s making me do anything.”

“You promise, daddy?” Aleks asks as he raises the both of his hands to hold onto Brett’s arms.

“Have I ever broken a promise?”

When Aleks shakes his head, when Brett kisses his temple, all the pain that was beginning to congregate in Aleks’ forehead is leeched away in an instant.

“Remember what you told me when the comments first started popping up?” Brett recounts as he looks back out the window, out into the dark and rainy outdoors. “You told me you’ve been through it all before. You told me that it was fine and not to worry too much about it. And then you asked me if I trusted you.”

“You do, right?”

“Always,” Brett says quietly. “So you trust me, right?”

“Always,” Aleks answers with the same inflection. 

“Then we’ll be fine. We got caught making out, so what?” Brett scoffs. “I kinda figured Funhaus invited us on for that kind of shit anyways.”

“Saying that you’re making out with me solely for views?”

“I’m making out with you because you’re hot as hell. Also, you know.” Brett shrugs. “You’re cute. You’re sweet. You’re nice, you’re funny, you kiss real well, and you make me incredibly happy but I mean, definitely because you’re hot as hell.”

Aleks chuckles and sits up against Brett so he can tilt his head back and kiss his cheek. “I love-”

_ I love you. _

Aleks bites at his lips before he presses another lingering kiss to Brett’s cheek. “I just… I love how nice you are,” he says. “And how sweet you are. And how you never fail in reassuring me and making me feel better.”

Of course Aleks loves Brett. There’s a lot to love about Brett and he can’t really think of anything he hates. Brett might think more of it and sure, he might like Aleks, but he doesn’t love Aleks like that and neither does Aleks! It’s totally platonic but he doesn’t want Brett to get the wrong idea.

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and looks down into Aleks’ eyes. “Well uh, I certainly try my best for you,” he says. “How’s your headache now, by the way? If the aspirin isn’t working even though you only took it minutes ago, I’m gonna go find the CEO and whoop his ass.”

“It actually is working,” Aleks reassures. “Don’t gotta go beat up anybody for me… though I’m not gonna stop you.”

“You, sir, have a dark side.”

“Are you sure you’re not confusing that with how dark it is outside?” Aleks asks as he looks back out the window. 

Brett looks out the window with Aleks and mumbles, “yeah, it is pretty dark.” He blinks a few times and takes in a deep breath. “Wanna have a lazy day?” he asks. “Just you and me, in our underwear, watching a bunch of TV in bed?”

“Can we cuddle?”

“It’s contingent on us cuddling, actually.”

Aleks hums and lowers himself against Brett again to rest his head against Brett’s chest. “Then put on that Netflix, sweet daddy of mine.”

Brett replies with the usual - “not a problem, angel.”

What was Aleks so annoyed about a few minutes ago? He can’t really remember when he’s being held in Brett’s arms, watching all that Netflix has to offer. In fact, Brett’s the only person he interacts with that day. He doesn’t get on Twitter, or YouTube, or Instagram, he doesn’t even text anybody.

It’s just him and Brett. Aleks thinks it should be like that more often.

* * *

**October 9th, 2017**

Brett comes back inside the warehouse with Lindsey’s Postmates order, because he’s such a good best friend like that. It’s not because it allows him the opportunity to leave his office, walk all the way around to catch a glimpse of Aleks filming for the Wrong Side of YouTube instead of easily going out the closest door. Why would Brett ever - okay, that’s exactly the reason why he did it but who’s gonna know, right?

(Lindsey absolutely knows).

Brett intends to go through the long way again but when he makes it into the actual warehouse area, Lindsey is by the counters so Brett just hands it off to her to instantly be forgotten about.

“Thank youuu!” Lindsey chimes while she peers inside the bag.

“Mmhm.”

Aleks looks good. He always looks good but especially now. If Brett knew that Aleks would become even more good looking after realizing he’s in love, he would’ve realized it a lot sooner! But when, exactly, did he fall in love with Aleks? Realizing it is different from the moment it actually happened.

“So what else is on the agenda after they film YouTube?” Lindsey asks as she looks back up to Brett. She blinks a few times when Brett doesn’t immediately answer and she tilts her head. “Brett? Yoohoo, Brett?”

Brett’s arms cross over his chest and his fingers tap against them in reflection over the moment it could have happened.

There are so many moments when it could’ve happened.

It could’ve been after they had sex the first time and Brett realized he could never go back to the way things were.

It could’ve been when Brett was away from Aleks for 2 weeks and realized how hard it was to be without him.

It could’ve been the morning after they decided to become friends with benefits, when he woke up to Aleks pressing kisses all over his neck and realized how lucky he was that this gets to happen more often.

Lindsey squints her eyes at Brett and steps back to follow his eyesight. When she notices what exactly Brett is looking at, she rolls her eyes and steps forward to grab Brett by the hand. “Alright, you and I need to talk,” she tells him as she drags Brett away.

“What?!” Brett exclaims. “Talk about what?!”

How dare Lindsey pull Brett away from the love of his life, like Brett doesn’t have many more opportunities to see and touch him throughout the day! That’s so inconsiderate!

When Lindsey pulls Brett into his office, she answers, “you and Aleks.”

“Let’s talk about you and James!” Brett says. “How are you guys doing? You guys are really cute together-”

“Don’t turn the subject around.”

“Wow, you don’t wanna talk about how amazing your boyfriend is? Some girlfriend you- owww…” Brett whines and pouts at Lindsey as he rubs at his shoulder. “Lindsey, I was just kiiiiidding…”

“If you’re gonna question my girlfriend skills, even jokingly, then you _ have _ to tell me about you and Aleks.”

With an eye roll, Brett groans and walks around to sit at his desk. “There’s nothing to tell,” he sighs. “It’s the same it’s always been-”

“No,” Lindsey says firmly. “It is _ not.” _

“Are you gonna be one of those people asking if we’re actually in love with each other?”

And Brett really isn’t bothered by those comments anymore. He can’t argue with the truth… half of the truth, anyways.

Lindsey flips her hair back and crosses her arms over her chest. “Something along those lines.”

Brett’s eyes widen as he asks, “you actually think we’re in love with each other?”

_ Jokes on you! Aleks isn’t in love with me!! _

“No,” Lindsey answers. “But you two obviously like each other. You need to just ask him out and make it official.”

Brett scoffs, “I don’t like Aleks.”

It’s not untrue either. He doesn’t_ like _ Aleks. He’s _ in love _with Aleks! There’s a big difference there!

On the other end of the equation, yes, Brett has a feeling Aleks likes him. It’s good to have that validated by somebody other than himself and the people online who have a talent for over analyzing things. The way Aleks clings to him whenever they’re alone combined with some of the things Aleks tells him solidifies that.

Brett’s not totally oblivious but he also considers himself realistic. All the evidence in the world that Aleks likes him still doesn’t change that sliver of fear at the idea of being rejected by him, the love of his life, the person whose approval he seeks the most.

“Oh my god, Breeett, yes you do!” Lindsey throws her head back with a groan before she slams her hands on Brett’s desk and Brett jumps a little in surprise.

“N-No, I don’t…” Brett says meekly.

“You look at him all the time!” Lindsey points out. “You always get lost staring at him, and you’re always hanging around him, finding excuses to touch him, to get closer to him, even on camera - you can’t even hold yourself back_ on camera-” _

“I can hold myself back on camera!”

“You kissed Aleks like, a million times during the Spice Gauntlet and got caught making out with him a few days ago. Brett, you got caught making out with Aleks _l_ _ ive.” _

Brett’s lips press together and his gaze dips down to his keyboard. His shoulders hunch on himself and his office feels even smaller than it actually is.

It doesn’t… this is just… okay, fine, she has a point. Lindsey has like, a lot of good points, but what does she expect Brett to do? She actually expects Brett to ask Aleks out, like he doesn’t have a friendship to worry about, like he wouldn’t be risking losing Aleks if he did that! It’s so easy for her to say because she’s dating James and they’re_ sooo happy _ together.

Lindsey’s not in love with Aleks. Brett is, and Brett’s the one that has to deal with the consequences if Aleks tells him no.

“We were drunk,” Brett mumbles. “Y-You should know that it’s hard to control yourself when you’re drunk.”

“It is, you’re right,” Lindsey agrees. “But if you know that, you and Aleks shouldn’t have gone on the show. I think that deep down, you wanted to do that. You wanted people to know what was going on.”

“Why the fuck would I want that?”

“Because you’re desperate to tell somebody you like Aleks!” Lindsey loudly expresses. “Even if you’re just hinting it, you’re not telling anybody about it-”

“Lemme ask you another question, why are you so confident that I like him?” Brett asks.

“I just told you! And Brett, we’ve been best friends for years, you don’t think I can’t tell if you like somebody or not?”

Brett’s tongue pokes out to lick along his lips and he averts his attention from Lindsey to his desktop. His teeth gnaw along his bottom lip and his arms cross on top the desk.

If Brett wanted people to know what was going on with him and Aleks, he’d just fucking say it. One tweet and everybody in the world would know what goes on behind closed doors but it’s none of their business what they do with each other.

Doesn’t mean he won’t still hold Aleks’ hand and kiss him when they’re out to lunch and dinner with each other or simply enjoying a nice day at the beach or wherever else they go to outside the office, but that’s different! How is it different? … it just is! Brett doesn’t need to explain himself!

“I know you like Aleks,” Lindsey says softly. “And I’m pretty sure Aleks likes you too-”

“You’re pretty sure,” Brett mumbles.

“He looks at you when you’re not looking, you know,” Lindsey points out. “Also? James was telling me how excited he was to talk about this uh, trip you guys are taking?”

“We’re going to Colorado together,” Brett tells her. “During Christmas week. I already booked this nice ski resort for us.”

“Brett, that’s not what best friends do with each other. You know that too.”

“I do,” Brett admits. “He wouldn’t have said yes if that’s all we were.”

“So why did you ask then?”

“Because he… we… we’re…” Brett shrugs and leans back in his seat. “It’s complicated between us. And like…” He looks up to the ceiling and rolls his lips back. “I think he likes me, I wanna think that, but then what if he doesn’t?”

“What if he does?”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“You’re not gonna know until you ask.”

“And risk what we have?”

“Brett, it’s not like you’re in love with him,” Lindsey chuckles. “You just like Aleks.”

_ It’s not like you’re in love with him. _

Brett chuckles bitterly and shakes his head as he hunches back over his desk. He actually begins laughing too, though it’s devoid of any humor, and he firmly presses the pads of his fingers against his closed eyelids.

That’s precisely why he shouldn’t ask Aleks out. Even if Aleks says yes, Aleks only likes him. Who knows when Aleks will actually fall in love with him, if that ever does happen. Is it worth waiting that long?

_ Why is being in love so fucking complicated? _

“Lindsey, remember what I told you when I said I didn’t like Aleks?” Brett finally asks once his laughter dies down.

“And you do-”

“I don’t.”

“Brett, you just-”

“Think about what you just said.” Brett gives Lindsey a knowing look. “If I just liked Aleks? Yeah, it would be easy. But if I was _ in love _ with Aleks?” Brett shrugs. “Do the math.”

“I don’t…” Lindsey blinks and her body slumps as she frowns. “Oh. Oh… Brett…”

“It’s not happening between us right now,” Brett tells her before he looks down to his desk. “I’m just trying to enjoy what we have and if I try to ask for more, I know what’s gonna happen. Things are fine as they are.”

“Are you sure?”

Brett’s fingers tap back and forth against his mouse and his tongue pokes around the inside of his cheek.

Right now? Yeah, he’s sure. Everything is perfect in paradise with him and Aleks.

In the future? Brett’s not so sure about that.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Brett says.

_ It’s not untrue… is it? _

Lindsey holds her bag close to her chest and looks out the doors to her desk. “Well… alright, but if you ever-”

“If I ever need to talk, yeah, I know.” Brett nods. “But I’m fine. Just go eat. Go do your work, go do an amazing job like you always do.”

Brett hears the door open and he looks up to watch Lindsey leave. When he knows that he’s fully alone in his office, just him and his own thoughts, Brett looks back to his desktop screen and begins to tap away a search query into the address bar.

_ “im in love with my best friend and i don’t know what to do” _

* * *

“Brett, seriously!” Aleks laughs and squirms against Brett’s tickling fingers. “I-I can’t show you h-how to play if you’re gonna do this!”

“But you’re so cute when you’re being tickled!” Brett argues with a laugh of his own as he digs his fingers harder into Aleks’ sides. “You’re daddy’s cute wittle angel~” he cooes.

It’s like Lindsey’s talk with Brett in his office never happened. You’d never know with how happy Brett is with Aleks, right here and right now. Hell, that talk isn’t even on Brett’s mind.

While Aleks is the source of many of Brett’s anxieties, he’s also the most powerful aphrodisiac to completely rid Brett’s mind of said anxieties. Simply put, he’s Brett’s everything.

In the right here, right now with Aleks, they’re in the comforts of their home. It’s still heavily raining outside and the rain bangs against the windows. The whole home is silent, but tranquil. Nobody’s leaving this home anytime soon and neither one of them is in the mood to do much of anything so they ordered a pizza (and yes, Brett will be leaving a very nice tip). While they wait for the pizza, Aleks decides it’d be a great time to give Brett a few pointers in playing the piano.

Aleks had bought this about a month and a half ago. It’s set across from the table in the dining room and if one were to walk in, they’d easily see Brett and Aleks, in t-shirts and sweatpants, as Brett madly tickles Aleks. They’d probably walk out after seeing it too because of how disgustingly adorable, yet how disgustingly oblivious they are with each other.

“Duuude, seriously!” Aleks whines. “Keep your hands to yourself!”

Brett’s laughter dies down to a chuckle when he takes away his hands. “Is this okay then?” he asks as he settles for wrapping his arms around Aleks’ waist from the side.

Aleks’ cheeks heat up and with a smile, he rests his head over onto Brett’s shoulder. “Yeah, that’s fine,” he says softly.

“So what song are we playing, Mr. Marchant?”

“It’s the first song I ever learned on the piano,” Aleks tells him as he brings his head back up again. “What do you think of that Elvis song? Can’t Help Falling In Love?”

“Was that seriously the first song you learned?” Brett smiles over at Aleks. “That’s like, one of my all time favorites.”

“Yeah?” Aleks’ smile brightens. “Then it should be easy for you to learn then.” He looks down to the piano and rests his fingers over the keys. “Just watch my fingers…”

**[ ****♪ ]** **_Aleksandr Marchant & Brett Hundley - Can’t Help Falling In Love_**

Aleks’ fingers delicately press on the keys in time with the original song and Brett recognizes it from the first key. His eyes move back and forth along Aleks’ slender, skillful fingers, and he really wants to learn what’s going on but he can’t help but sing when Aleks begins to play to that point.

_ “Wiiisee men say,” _ Brett sings, _ “only foooools rush in…” _

Aleks glances up to Brett when he begins to sing and he huffs a fond breath through his nose. “Have a really nice singing voice,” he mumbles before he looks back down to the piano.

“I bet you do too,” Brett mumbles back.

_ “But I can’t help…” _ Brett swallows and glances to Aleks briefly. _ “... falling in looooove wiiith you…” _

Aleks’ breath hitches and he bites down on his lips. His fingers continue to play in time with the song he’s learned so many years ago, not faltering once.

Brett opens his mouth to continue with the song but Aleks beats him to it and he looks up to watch Aleks take his turn.

_ “Shaaall I stay?” _ Aleks sings. _ “Would it beeeee a sin? If I can’t help… falling in looooove wiiith you…” _

It makes sense for the most beautiful person in the world to have the most beautiful singing voice in the world, just like it makes sense for this person to be an absolute angel.

There’s a reason Brett likes to call Aleks an angel and it might have been introduced in a sexual content, sure, and Brett wasn’t anticipating it to become this pet name like it has, but it fits. It fits Aleks more than any other name Brett can think of. Darling, sweetheart, babe, baby, these pet names don’t accurately describe what Aleks is. While there still are no comparisons or descriptions close enough to perfectly encapsulate him, angel comes damn close.

“Sing with me,” Brett tells him. “Please?”

“You wanna sing together?” Aleks asks as he looks over to Brett.

The smile Brett gives is all the answer Aleks needs before he continues to play again. This time when he plays, he and Brett both join each other in singing.

_ “Like a river flows,” _ they both sing, _ “surely to the sea! Darling, so it goes… some things are meant to beeeee…” _

Brett unwraps an arm from Aleks to rest right on the border of the piano, beside his arm, his fingers gently brushing along it.

They are meant to be. Brett honest to god thinks that. Why else did fate put Aleks here with him? Everything that has ever happened so far has led to them at this very moment and it’s been perfect, even considering all of the anxieties and doubts. They’re all worth it just to be with Aleks, to hold him, to cherish him, and to sing with him.

It’s hard to be in love with Aleks when he wants more but Brett won’t ever give up on them. Aleks is worth every single thing in this world. Hell, not even the world, but the entire universe, and all of the nebulas and galaxies that make up the never ending celestial skies and right now, the skies are crying and begging for them to realize how the other feels and_ make a fucking move. _

_ “Taaake my haaand,” _ Aleks adds to the melody.

_ “Take my whooole life too…” _ Brett harmonizes.

_ “For I can’t help…” _ they both sing, _ “falling in looooove wiiith you…” _

The both of them continue to sing together in what they think is an enticing symphony. Brett is a godly harmony and Aleks is an angelic melody and it all comes together to wonderfully complement each other. Their singing is jovial and the delight is evident in every single one of their words. At a point, they start to sing with the brightest smiles on their brightly beaming faces, so bright that it could light up all the darkness outside and evaporate all that rain.

It’s amazing, Brett thinks, how Aleks can make his favorite things that much better with his mere presence alone. What was his favorite song is now the song that’ll forever be the background music in Brett’s mind, just like Aleks has made a forever home in his mind. Everything that Brett thinks about goes back to Aleks eventually and this song is being added to that never ending list.

_ “... take my whooole life too.” _ Brett looks up to Aleks, desperately waiting for Aleks to look right back.

_ “And I can’t help…” _ Aleks looks up to Brett and when he stares right into his eyes, he has to press himself closer to Brett’s side.

_ “... falling in looooove wiiith you…” _

Aleks’ fingers slowly press down on the keys to leave a lasting sound. They rest and don’t move a muscle and it’s the perfect time for Brett’s hand to crawl up onto the piano to rest over Aleks’. Aleks overturns his hand and the smile makes its way back onto his face, Brett’s too, when their fingers intertwine and they both give their joined hands a good squeeze.

In the content silence afterwards, their warm, dark brown eyes roam all over the other’s face, both wondering how the other can be so real, yet such a dream all at the same time.

Aleks’ heat is real. His touch is real. His entire being is real, Brett knows it and he’s holding onto it right now, yet he still feels like he’ll wake up at any moment. If this is the case, then he wishes to be asleep forever to go through an entire life with this angel.

Maybe there wasn’t a single moment Brett fell in love with Aleks. Maybe it was a bunch of moments where he fell in love, over and over again, because he’s falling head over heels in love again for Aleks right now.

Brett’s other hand moves up to run back through Aleks’ hair before it rests over his cheek and Aleks’ eyes lid shut. He tilts his head into Brett’s touch and kisses his palm while he brings his other hand up to hold onto Brett’s wrist. His thumb moves back and forth along it, Brett’s thumb caresses his cheek at the same time, and as he stares at Aleks, drinks in the interstellar sight of this angel, a thought flashes through his mind.

_ Tell him now. _

Brett blinks and runs his teeth along his bottom lip.

_ Do it now. _

A hot, shuddering breath parts his lips open as he looks down to Aleks’.

_ He needs to know. _

“Aleks,” Brett says softly.

Aleks blinks his eyes open and raises his eyebrows upon his name.

Brett looks into Aleks’ eyes and he’s at a lost for words. His lips stay parted open as he tries to figure out the best way to say it, to fully tell Aleks everything he feels-

_ Knock knock knock. _

Their heads snap over to the door and they see the blurry head of the pizza delivery guy through the door window.

Brett taps his thumb against Aleks’ cheek and with a sigh, a _ long _sigh through his nose, he stands up from the bench.

_ What the fuck was I thinking? _

“Uh, my wallet is on the coffee table,” Aleks tells Brett as he stares into his back.

“Thank you,” Brett says. “You wanna put on a movie?”

“Yeah… yeah, sure.”

Brett swipes Aleks’ wallet from the table and makes his way to the door, leaving all of those thoughts behind him.

Telling Aleks that he’s in love with him is stupid. Absolutely stupid.

Brett doesn’t even know what compelled him to say something about it. What the fuck made Brett think that he should just tell Aleks now? Like Aleks is going to feel the same way and they’re going to live happily together ever after?

But the point is, Brett almost confessed right then and there.

What if that feeling comes back and he’s compelled to tell Aleks again? And then he has to hope for an interruption to pull him back into the reality that _ this is not a good idea? _

So Brett needs to start dropping hints. He needs to make his feelings_ obvious. _

He can’t tell Aleks that he’s in love with him. That’s obvious, but it’s clear he can’t keep his feelings to himself anymore. Brett needs to do something besides just waiting and hoping Aleks will make a move first.

Whether that’ll actually do some good, he doesn’t know, but it’s a big step in the right direction - the first big step in a long, excruciating line of baby steps.


	24. Last Traces Of Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Aleks go on a few more dates. One date, they go hiking. The other, they have a picnic at the dog park, but one of them ends with the both of them confessing even more feelings about this weird thing of theirs.

**October 11th, 2017**

_ Spank. _

“Ah, fuck yeah,” Aleks moans and rolls his ass back against Brett’s hand before he continues to bounce on and off Brett’s cock. “I love when you spank me, daddy, thank you so much.”

“Thank you for riding this dick so good,” Brett breathes out as grabs onto Aleks’ hips to help guide his movements. He gazes up at Aleks, completely naked save for the black leather collar adorning his pale neck, and he’s positively radiant. “God, you were made to be fucked.”

“Made to be fucked by you.” Aleks winks down at Brett and runs his teeth along his bottom lip as he runs his hands up to grab onto Brett’s shoulders. With a loud moan, he quickens his hips and his head throws back in pleasure. “Oh god, daddy, you feel so good!”

Brett really enjoys fucking Aleks in places that aren’t their bedroom. Fucking Aleks is fun no matter where it is, where it’s on, but he’s quite a fan of defiling the rest of their home too. Their bedroom shouldn’t be the only place to get the spotlight and tonight, the spotlight is on the couch in their living room.

Things got just a little bit heated at dinner and by the time he and Aleks got home, it was immediately understood what would happen. Not even a few minutes after they stepped through the door and Brett was getting himself ready on the couch, still wearing his white button up and black dress pants, while Aleks raced upstairs to undress and fully shift into daddy’s sexy little slut.

“If you’re moaning for daddy to fuck you, then maybe that’s what he should do,” Brett hints as he digs his nails into Aleks’ hips to hold him up. “Just sit-”

Aleks turns his head to look back at Brett’s ringing phone and Brett looks to the annoying device with an eye roll.

“Can you see who it is real quick?” Brett requests.

Aleks reaches a hand back to grab Brett’s phone and squints his eyes at the ID. “Uhhh, it’s Bruce,” Aleks tells him.

Brett purses his lips over to the side and taps his thumbs against Aleks’ hips. His gaze shifts upwards to the pretty boy wonderfully perched on top of his cock and his eyes scan Aleks up and down as a devious idea comes to fruition.

“You can answer it,” Brett tells him.

Aleks blinks a few times at Brett. “We’re fucking right now.”

“Yeah. Just see what he wants real quick and we’ll uh, go back to it.”

Aleks narrows his eyes in suspicion. “I don’t trust you,” he says. “I’m gonna answer it and you’re gonna start fucking me, aren’t you?”

“Ooh, you’re smart!” Brett praises with a bright smile. “I am! Answer it.”

With a devious grin, Aleks snorts and says two words that never fail to rile Brett up - “make me.”

Brett’s smile quickly dims to a void expression and he gives Aleks a harsh  ** _spank_ ** . “I’m not asking you,” he says firmly as Aleks continues to whimper in pain. “I’m telling you. Answer it.”

A hot breath parts open Aleks’ lips and with a very quiet, “yes, daddy”, he accepts Bruce’s call and places Brett’s phone to his ear. “Uh, hey, i-it’s… it's…” Aleks presses his lips together and looks down to Brett's chest in thought.

“It’s your boy, Aleks,” Brett reminds him with a mumble.

“It's your boy, Aleks!” Aleks suddenly exclaims. “What's up?”

“Hey, Aleks! Where’s Brett?”

“Where’s Brett?” Aleks looks down to Brett. “He’s-”

Brett sinks his nails bruisingly hard into Aleks’ hips as he quickly hammers away inside him and Aleks instantly cries out, “oh fuck me!”, and Brett can’t help the laugh that instantly pushes its way out.

Fucking with Aleks (which is different than fucking Aleks!) hasn’t changed much. Instead of pulling pranks on Aleks at the office, it’s sometimes being a tease to him while they’re having sex and it’s so much more satisfying. Brett loves Aleks, so much, but he loves teasing Aleks like Aleks teases him. It’s great to be one of the very few… hell, the  _ only _ person that knows how to deal with him.

“Uh, Aleks?” Bruce asks in a worried tone. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah, fine, I-I’m fine,” Aleks breathes out. He grits his teeth together and screws his eyes tightly shut. “Just… I-I stubbed my toe. But Brett’s… in the uh, the bathroom.”

Brett chuckles lowly and watches Aleks with a dark amusement in his darker brown eyes. “Be a good boy,” he reminds Aleks with a whisper.

Aleks nods and swallows down the whimper begging to crawl out of his mouth.

“Ouch, dude, that’s the worst,” Bruce hisses. “I hope it’ll feel better in time for Halloween, cause I was wanting you and Brett to come to this Halloween party I’m throwing at my condo.”

“Y-You uh, want me and… and Brett, to come to your H-Halloween party?” Aleks asks as he lids his eyes open to glance at Brett, and all Brett gives in response is a nod.

It wouldn’t be the first Halloween party Bruce has hosted and the last time Brett went, he had an awesome time. There were drinks, dancing, and incredibly juvenile party games like 7 Minutes in Heaven but sometimes that’s what a party needs. It’s a nice distraction from the responsibilities of every day adult life and he actually met a girlfriend at that party so there’s nothing but good things to expect.

… obviously, they’re no longer together, but the point still stands. Now he gets to go with Aleks, and who knows how much fun they’ll have together.

“Yeah, Brett’s been there before,” Bruce recounts. “You should come too, it’ll be fun.”

“Uh, y-yeah, we’ll… we’ll be… b-be there.” Aleks nods. “Thanks.”

“Cool, see you then! Tell Brett I said hey!”

Aleks rolls his lips back with a moan and another nod. “Mmhm, y-you got it.”

Aleks breathes out a sigh of relief as he tosses Brett’s phone back onto the table but a loud whine escapes his lips when Brett stills his thrusts with his entire length sheathed inside. “Breeett, dude, what the fuck, fuck me!”

“We gotta talk about this party,” Brett tells him.

Aleks rolls his eyes and grunts. “Well, we don’t even have costumes,” Aleks sighs and wrings his fingers into the collar of Brett’s button up. 

“As long as we match, we’re fine. Not a big deal.”

Aleks snorts and briefly raises his eyebrows before he gives Brett a knowing look that borders on the edge of hopeful. “Sounds like you want us to be a couple,” he says quietly.

_ Like we don’t act like that already? _

Though acting like a couple and actually _ being  _ a couple are two different things, but only slightly so. You can act like a couple on purpose, for comedic value or… some other purpose besides the intended, but in their case, they’re acting like a couple because… they just want to be as close to each other as they can.

That involves holding hands, wanting to fall asleep in each other’s arms, and going on dates with each other where nobody else will bother them. They’re just not putting a label on it and Brett strongly wants to apply that.

Brett told himself that he wouldn’t tell Aleks how he feels, but now’s the time he starts to  _ show him. _

Brett clears his throat and sits up straight, takes a few quick breaths to raise his confidence and then he says, quite smoothly, “yeah, and we’d be the hottest fucking couple at that party too.”

Aleks settles on Brett’s lap and he just stares down at him. He stares and he blinks, his teeth running across his lips and his eyes wandering off to the side.

_ I fucked up. _

Brett watches with uncertainty, dipped in high concentrations of fear, as Aleks rises from his cock. “Uh, hey, I was-”

“You better show everybody at that party that I’m yours, daddy,” Aleks tells him as he kneels up against the back of the couch, legs spread apart. He crosses his arms on top of the back and rests the side of his head on top to peer over at Brett. “Just like you’re showing me right now.”

With a grin of genuine confidence, Brett quickly moves to kneel behind Aleks and he steadies one hand over his ass while the other guides himself back into Aleks’ hole. “You want daddy to show you off, angel, huh?” he breathes out against Aleks’ ear once he drops his head by Aleks’ shoulder. “Show them how much of a sexy little slut you are for him?”

Aleks moans out, “daddy!” when Brett fully pushes back in, and Brett snakes his hands around to grab his hips in that bruising grip once more. “Y-Yeah, daddy, please.!”

Brett starts with slow thrusts but each one slams back into Aleks, allows him to fully feel every single inch sliding against his walls. “How about I show you off tomorrow?” he murmurs. “What’s my pretty angel doing after work?”

“You~”

Brett chuckles. “Alright, good answer,” he says without any hints of bravado. “But really, what are your plans?”

“Oh… I dunno,” Aleks breathes out. “But I fucking want you in them.”

“Great, you’re gonna come out with me then.”

Woah, he didn’t even ask Aleks if he wanted to go out with him, he just told Aleks so like the fucking alpha male that he is! Brett wishes he could be confident like that all the time, though it’s pretty easy to have an above average level of confidence when a gorgeous blonde twink like Aleks is wearing a collar and letting Brett fuck him from behind. Kind of hard to stay insecure considering that.

“What are we gonna do?”

Brett purses his lips and looks off to the side with a shrug. “Dunno, what do you wanna do?”

Aleks squints his eyes in thought and rolls his lips back with a hum at a particularly hard thrust. “Lemme think,” he tells Brett.

He doesn’t know if he should keep fucking Aleks and derail him from his train of thought so Brett stops inside him once again, but he tries to make up for it by pressing kisses along Aleks’ neck, his upper back, and he even rubs his thumbs into his hips to soothe any pain caused by his nails.

After a few soothing moments, Aleks brings his head back up and drops his hand down over one of Brett’s to grab it and get his attention. “You know, I wouldn’t mind going on a hike.”

Brett instantly lets out a laugh and he looks up to the ceiling with a sigh. “Duuude, you know how early you gotta wake up for that?” he asks. “You hate waking up early.”

“Fair point,” Aleks concedes. “But I love going on dates with you, so it evens out.” He turns his head to look back at Brett with a smile and Brett mirrors it right back with an added fondness to his own.

_ I really do love him. _

“Okay,” Brett says softly with a nod. “A hike it is. Just one condition?”

“What’s that, daddy?”

“You can’t complain. We get on that trail and we’re gonna complete it.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and looks back ahead. “I promise,” he assures as he begins to gyrate his hips back and forth on Brett. “Now come on,  _ daddy, _ are you gonna fuck your pretty angel stupid or not?”

“Oh, you wanna be fucked stupid, huh?” Brett asks as he immediately brings up his hands to grab Aleks’ shoulders so he can pin Aleks down to the couch.

Aleks drags his nails along the couch and looks back to Brett with a nervous chuckle. “Uh, hey, I was just - oh god,  _ oh god!” _ he shouts when Brett wastes no time in fucking him with most of the power he can, and there’s a whole fucking lot of it. “Fuck yeah, fuck me like the fucking slut I am for you! Don’t fucking stop!”

Walking the hiking trail with Aleks sounds like a lot of fun. It’ll be him, Aleks, and the natural scenery of the outdoors. Though Aleks is more beautiful, Brett thinks the outdoors will really bring out his looks with the natural lighting and shadows, the vibrant earthly colors, etc. It’ll make Aleks’ beauty stand out.

It also allows Brett to enjoy a nice, long walk with Aleks and they can talk about anything in the world, from work, to the news, to what they hope they achieve from this little thing called life.

What does Brett hope to achieve from life? Happiness, of course, but he wants lifetime happiness with Aleks.

* * *

**October 12th, 2017**

Brett watches Aleks with slightly widened eyes as he stumbles across the creek rocks. “You… you good?” he asks in a wavering tone.

“Yeah,” Aleks says. “Just a little bit - shit!”

Brett instantly steps forward to grab Aleks before he slips and he holds Aleks tightly to his chest as he whisks him away onto dry land once more. “Well at least we’re one step closer to the waterfall!” he exclaims.

The creek is very shallow and lined with unstable rocks but that’s the only way to get to the rocky shore, unless you don’t mind getting your shoes wet. The rocks of the shore gradually spread apart until it’s smoothly paved soil again, perfect to actually hike and walk through, but there’ll be a few more creeks to wade across before they finally make it to the main attraction of Eaton Canyon - that big ass waterfall.

“Dude, you’re so fucking strong,” Aleks comments as he moves his hands to hold onto Brett’s biceps. “Like, holy shit, you’re so much stronger and bigger than before. Is it just me?”

Brett’s wearing a black tanktop that wonderfully showcases his ever growing biceps, along with blue cargo shorts that show off his thickening legs. Aleks is wearing basically the same thing, only his shorts are red, and he doesn’t have many muscles to speak off. He blames Brett for stealing all of it.

Not that he minds.

At all.

“You sound pretty into it.” Brett waggles his eyebrows and looks to Aleks’ lips. “How into it are you?”

With a grin, Aleks looks to Brett’s lips and answers, “pretty damn into it,” before he moves forward to press their lips together.

It’s too early in the morning but Aleks is out with Brett so he won’t complain, not that he can complain anyways because he promised Brett last night that he wouldn’t and he doesn’t like to go against Brett. Brett can easily move the whole world for him so if all he asks from Aleks is to not complain, he won’t. It’s pretty simple.

It was Aleks’ suggestion to hike as well. There’s no big reason he wanted to hike but he’s never really done it before for a date and the whole point of being friends with benefits is to explore, is it not?

At this point, they’re clearly more than friends with benefits. Aleks knows that Brett knows but it’s unspoken, just like many other things between them, such as the fact that they’d do anything for each other, that they love each other… you know, little things like that!

Aleks lets go of Brett and licks along his lips to savor Brett’s taste before he makes his way down the trail. “This way to the waterfall, right?” he asks.

“Uhhh, lemme check!” Brett quickly chases after Aleks as he retrieves the map from the side pocket of his backpack. “It looks like… yes, that’s the way.”

“Rad, dude.”

“I’d say a waterfall is more beautiful than rad.”

“I’d say beautiful is more for me, you know what I’m sayin’?” Aleks teases.

“You’re definitely not wrong,” Brett says without looking up from the map.

Aleks’ cheeks heat up and he scratches at them as a fond smile tickles at his lips. “Thank you,” he says softly.

Brett’s been so damn sweet lately and Aleks doesn’t know what it is! He’s always sweet but now there’s something… different about it? Aleks can’t really explain it but whatever the difference is, it’s enough to make his heart swell that much more whenever Brett does or says nice things to him.

_ “Great, you’re gonna come out with me then.” _

That’s not exactly a sweet thing, but it’s another thing Aleks has noticed.

Aleks noticed and loved how confident Brett was when he said that, like he knew for a fact that Aleks would say yes. There’s no reason Aleks has to say no to going out with Brett, he thinks Brett should know that, but he had all the confidence of a boyfriend telling a girlfriend their plans together for the next day.

There’s not a lot of opportunity for uncertainty in a relationship. In a relationship, it’s obvious how the other feels. Is Aleks thinking too hard about it? Or is he allowed to think too hard about something that’ll at least make him happy instead of the other way around like it has in the past?

They continue down the path and Aleks looks over to Brett, allows his eyes to roam over his face and admire the way the sun shines against it despite the black baseball hat he’s wearing, frontwards as opposed to Aleks’ backwards hat. His mane of hair is exposed at the bottom and his beard is much fuller now, just a tiny bit unkempt, but Aleks likes it like that.

“Can I take a picture?” Aleks asks.

Brett looks over to Aleks and asks, “of me? Or of us?”

“... both?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Cool!” Aleks reaches into his pocket to take out his phone. “Stand in between those two trees.”

“You want me to pose like one of those rap guys’ girlfriends?” Brett asks as he backs up between the two trees to rest his hands against them and then he acts like he’s dramatically flipping his hair back before he smirks into the lens of Aleks’ phone.

“You don’t got a big butt like them though.”

“True, but I got a big dick and that makes up for it.”

Aleks grins and glances to Brett. “You’re not wrong,” he mumbles before he looks down into his camera to take the picture.

A big dick isn’t necessarily a requirement for good sex, nor is it an obvious sign that they’re good at sex, but Brett is very good at it and he  _ very much _ knows how to use it. Even after fucking Brett for a few months, Aleks is still in awe every time they fuck. He’s never going to get used to how good Brett fucks him, just like he’ll never get used to the many other facts about his and Brett’s relationship.

He really wants to show Brett how much he appreciates him and that amazing dick of his. Crying out for him all the time during sex is a good start, so is submitting and giving up his entire body, but he still feels like he can do more.

_ Show  _ more.

Aleks wants to see Brett look at him like a god all over again, sort of like he did the morning after Aleks showed him the ski resort he wants to stay at. Aleks’ stomach still gets butterflies when he remembers the way Brett stared at him, like a god, but also like he was the only thing worth paying attention it, the only thing worth loving.

Brett hears the snap and backs up from the trees to walk over to Aleks and he wraps an arm around his shoulders from behind. “You gonna post our picture to the ‘Gram? Continue to confuse all of our fans?”

“It’s just two guys hiking,” Aleks says as he turns his phone into the selfie view and then he raises his other hand to hold up a peace sign by his lips. “Nothing gay about that.”

“It could be a metaphor for us hiking and climbing our way up a mountain full of obstacles on our way to true love with each other, depending on who you ask.”

“You should write fanfiction.”

“Aren’t we kind of living in a fanfiction?” Brett asks as he gives Aleks a purposeful weird look for the picture.

“Didn’t say it had be to fanfiction about us.”

_ Snap. _

Brett quickly steals a kiss to Aleks’ cheek before he continues down the path and Aleks stays close to his side. 

They have to cross another creek but then they get to delve back deep into the actual woods. Barks of wood and mulch cover the soil along with fallen sticks and the air smells fresh and clean, a much needed contrast to the flashy atmosphere of downtown LA. Cool winds breeze against Aleks’ skin and he happily welcomes the comforting chill in the midst of the Californian heat, though that could just be the heat that radiates from Brett and how damn hot he is.

“Can you get me a water from the bag?”

With a nod, Brett brings the backpack in front to take out a water bottle for Aleks and he hands it to him before he puts it on his back.

“Thanks, daddy,” Aleks says casually.

“No problem, angel,” Brett says, in the same casual manner.

A little ways down the trail and they come across a couple that seems to be very into fitness. The dude has muscles in every place and the woman has washboard abs and perfect skin. It’s almost sickening how societally perfect they look.

“Woah, cool to see fathers and sons still bonding in this day and age!” greets the man with a big smile.

Aleks snorts and looks over to Brett but his gaze instantly dips down when Brett suddenly moves his hand over to easily grab onto one of his.

“We’re actually not related,” Brett tells the man as he raises their hands in his eyesight. “But thank you.”

They walk past the couple and Aleks just barely gives them a passing glance.

“... honey?” the man asks. “What did he mean?”   


“Some people are gay, sweetie.”

“They weren’t just friends?”

Aleks chuckles to himself at their conversation and he squeezes Brett’s hand. “How many times do you think strangers have seen us in public and thought we were either related or dating?”

“Those two things really shouldn’t be related to each other.”

“Good thing we aren’t though, right?”

“I’m very grateful that we’re not related at all so I can fuck you, absolutely,” Brett confirms with a nod. “I really like being able to do that.”

“I feel like fucking each other has brought us like, so much closer, you know?”

Brett gives a bit of a bashful smile and looks down to the soil. “How much closer?” he asks.

“It’s made us more vulnerable with each other,” Aleks points out. “I like being able to let go with you and just tell you everything that’s bothering me instead of acting so laid back. I mean, I am, but there’s so much I don’t tell, that I try to keep to myself, but with you…” He shrugs and nudges Brett’s shoulder as he looks over to him with a smile. “With you, it’s easy. And I can do or say anything with you.”   


_ Almost anything. _

“I’m closer with you than I’ve ever been with anybody,” Brett admits. “Even with old girlfriends, like, they haven’t come close to the way we are with each other.”

“We’re closer than people you’ve actually been in a relationship with?”

“Mmhm.” Brett nods and looks up to Aleks. “But our relationship is also more special than theirs. You can’t fairly compare it, I don’t think.”

Aleks bites at his lips and looks ahead of him to see the glimpses of the waterfall through the trees. The beautiful sight of the waterfall is only a few paces away but Brett is the one that commands all of his attention right now, and he’s so much more deserving.

“I think you can fairly compare it,” Aleks argues. “Not your girlfriend’s fault that I’m better,” he says with a grin.

Brett chuckles and moves forward to kiss the corner of Aleks’ lips before he walks faster down the trail. “You’re a lot better,” he agrees. “So much so. Now come on, the waterfall isn’t too far.”

Aleks quickly catches up to Brett and he keeps a tight grip on his hand. He looks ahead to the gushing waterfall, which is pretty, but then he looks back to the much more alluring and deserving Brett, and that’s when his breath is truly taken away.

The waterfall isn’t too far, just like Brett said, but Aleks thinks that a certain something else isn’t too far either.

* * *

**October 14th, 2017**

Aleks and Brett had such a good time hiking together that they decided they’d do something similar, but much more manageable this afternoon - a picnic at the Hermon Dog park, with Mishka as their special guest.

They don’t have to walk too much if they don’t want to and they still get to bask in the natural wonders of the outdoors. The added ability to be more lackadaisical comes with the cost of breathtaking sights such as the waterfall and what not, but Brett’s still here so… there’s not much Aleks is giving up.

Also, the park is absolutely saturated with dogs today. If Aleks had to choose between hiking and staring at a bunch of cute dogs, it’s the latter.

The actual picnic is pretty much over. The prepared sandwich platter has been scavenged, the store bought cookies are nothing but crumbs, there’s no more cheese, and their bottle of cider is totally empty. Right now, Brett is lying on top of the picnic blanket, checking various messages on his phone, Aleks’ head is resting right on top Brett’s chest as he does the same exact thing, and he has Mishka’s leash securely wrapped around his fingers - though Mishka is getting antsy.

Aleks goes back to his lock screen after checking his emails, and he has another email from his previous landlord but he doesn’t know why the fuck that dude keeps messaging him. Aleks hasn’t even took a look at the messages at all but he doesn’t want to, there’s no reason to. 

He swipes a screen over, where one app lays in a lone corner and it means he can get a better look at his home screen - the picture of Brett that he took when they were hiking.

“Dude, is that me?”

Aleks looks up at Brett and he then quickly averts his gaze back down to his phone to open up a random app. “Uh, I-I was just looking through my camera roll, dude,” Aleks tells him. “Just organizing it and cleaning it out,” he chuckles. “I’m getting like, a lot of pictures there so-”

He’s cut off when Brett drops his phone onto his chest. Aleks furrows his eyebrows and overturns his phone to pick up Brett’s and when he turns over Brett’s phone to look at the screen, he sees what Brett’s home screen is and he can’t help the wide smile that almost splits open his lips.

“Is that me?” Aleks asks softly.

Brett huffs a chuckle through his nose and nods. “Yeah,” he answers. “Took it back at the office like, a few weeks ago. You were doing all these weird poses for me and when we were done, I just snapped this one of you and uh…” He shrugs. “I thought you looked really cute. So I made it my home screen.”

“That’s really sweet,” Aleks tells him in an almost dreamy tone as he sits up on the blanket with both their phones in hand. “Seriously, like, I’m actually kind of… I dunno, I’m like, super flattered? I kinda wanna brag about it.” He looks down to Brett as he rests the phone back on his chest and then he moves his hand over to rest over one of Brett’s pecs, softly pressing his warm weight into his skin through the fabric of his shirt.

“That’s how I feel about your lock screen,” Brett chuckles, swipes his phone off his chest as he moves one of his hands to rest over Aleks’, and he sits up on his knees. “Like, I just wanna grab some soccer mom from the sidewalk and shove your phone in their face and be like,  _ ‘hey, I’m his home screen, isn’t that cool’ _ ?”

Aleks laughs and drops his phone to the blanket. “We’re getting so excited over home screens,” he chuckles as he looks down to their hands. “I feel like a teenage girl in high school right now, dude.”

“I do too, but I mean,” Brett shrugs and gives Aleks’ hand a squeeze, “I’m past caring at this point. What about you?”

Aleks blinks a few times and shakes his head. “Yeah, I’m past caring too,” he reveals with a smile that’s as soft as his voice.

If Brett doesn’t care about how excited he is about this small thing, why should Aleks? There’s nothing to worry about if Brett isn’t worried and it seems like Brett is gradually becoming less worried about how they’re perceived with each day. If strangers think they’re dating, who cares? If Brett thinks they’re gonna look like the hottest couple at Bruce’s Halloween party, then they’re gonna be the hottest couple and they’re not even  _ dating, _ that’s how hot it’ll be.

It gives Aleks hope that they can be something more. His belief is that everything is better when there’s a 0% or 100% certainty but he’s learning with Brett that sometimes it’s good to be in between. This hope keeps him breathing and it keeps him living.

Aleks looks over to Mishka when Mishka begins to tug at the leash and with a sigh, he looks back to Brett and says, “we should probably tuck everything back into the backpack and give her a w-a-l-k.”

“W-a-l… oh!” Brett chuckles and nods. “Right, of course. Let’s do that.”

They both stand up from the blanket and pack everything into the backpack that Brett brought along. Brett is about to put it on his back but Aleks takes the strap from him and shakes his head.

“It’s cool, I’ll wear it,” Aleks tells him. “You can walk Mishka.”

“Yaaaaay!” Brett cheers as Aleks hands him the leash. “Thanks, daddy~”

Aleks widens his eyes at Brett and he shakes his head with a long sigh. “Dude, you’re gonna fucking kill me.”

“Jesus, dude, how does daddy affect you more than it affects me?” Brett laughs.

“You’ve had time to get used to being called that!” Aleks argues as he walks with Brett through the grass. “When you call me that out of nowhere, like, once every other week, it’s gonna seriously do shit to my dick, dude.”

“Come on, _ daddy, _ don’t be so vulgar.”

“Breeett,” Aleks whines and pouts. “Stop.”

“Or what? How about you  _ make me?” _

“Or I’ll…” Aleks presses his lips together and looks all around the park. “I don’t fucking…” He bites at his lips in thought before he moves his mouth by Brett’s ear to grit lowly through his teeth, “if you don’t stop, I’m gonna take you to the nearest bathroom and fuck you stupid. I think you losing your virginity should have some meaning to it besides a dirty little fuck in a public bathroom, huh?”

Brett swallows and looks off to the side. He brings up one of his hands to tug at his collar to offset the growing heat rising within him and in the meekest voice, he replies, “okay, I’ll stop.”

Aleks gives Brett’s ass a spank, smirks at Brett’s whimper, and he mumbles, “that’s what I thought,” before he looks ahead like nothing ever happened.

He’s still waiting on that lovely day he gets to fuck Brett but he knows it’ll be quite a bit before it happens. Brett might be eager to take it but Aleks was just as eager as he was and it still took Aleks awhile before he would actually let another man inside him. The concept of virginity is overrated, Aleks thinks, but the pain from a dick constantly pounding your asshole is nothing to joke about.

So he’s not too worried about doing that with Brett. In the meantime, he’s fine to rim and finger him and let Brett show his submission in other ways. Aleks quite likes bottoming to him anyways. It’s not a big loss.

They cut through the grass and the sidewalk to find a back path that curves around the back of the park to the other side. It’s an inclining stone path with stone ledges that surround beautiful, colorful flower beds on either side and the trees are bright green with little white flowers spread throughout.

“It’s really nice today,” Brett points out. “We’re not gonna get this in a few months.”

“Oh yeah, in Colorado?” Aleks smiles and looks off above the flower beds to the park, which looks so small from where they are now. “I’m really excited to go. I know I’ve said that but it’s always something I’ve thought about doing.”

“Lindsey told me how excited you were,” Brett tells him. “You talkin’ about our trip at the office?”

Aleks blushes and rubs at his arm as he looks over to Brett. “Just James,” he clarifies. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Tell whoever you want, angel,” Brett murmurs as he slips an arm around Aleks’ waist to press their sides together. “I don’t care. It doesn’t have to be this big secret between us, you know?”

“I just don’t want anybody to think we’re like… dating,” Aleks explains.

Brett bites at his lips and he lets go of Aleks’ waist to sit down on the ledge. “Does that really bother you?”

“I thought it bothered you,” Aleks answers as he walks over to Brett. “That’s why I was sorry. Can I sit down?”   


“No, I own the ledge and-”

“I wanna sit on you.”

“Oh.” Brett shrugs and pats his knee. “Yeah, come here.”

Mishka whines before she walks over to sit at Brett’s feet and Aleks gives her an apologetic smile as he takes a seat on top Brett’s knee. He feels bad for Mishka, she’s barely being walked, but then Brett has that arm wrapped around his waist again, Aleks’ arms wrap around Brett’s neck, and everything is okay once more.

“Us dating is such like… a hot topic, you know?’ Aleks swallows and looks to Brett’s chest. “I don’t wanna stress you out and I don’t wanna like, cause a big conversation about it. Or I didn’t, but lately you’ve been kind of cool about it-”

“I just don’t care anymore,” Brett reveals as he looks up to Aleks. “I don’t really care what people say about us, like, I just wanna do what I want with you. If somebody wants to say something about it, that’s their deal. I just know that I like what we’re doing.”

“I do too,” Aleks says quietly. He slowly licks along his lips and takes an arm off from around Brett’s neck so he can gently rest that hand over Brett’s cheek and he hitches closer. “I really like what we’re doing and you’re great, you really are,” he chuckles.

“You’re a lot more great,” Brett tells him. “You keep me sane, Aleks,” he chuckles and allows his eyes to roam all over Aleks’ face. “You keep me calm, believe it or not. And you make me better. I just… I don’t know what I’d do without you, or where I’d be without you.”

Brett knows.

He has to know, that they have so much more with each other.

Brett’s not stupid. He’s  _ far _ from stupid. He’s actually incredibly smart and sometimes that intelligence can come off as arrogance, so Aleks knows that Brett knows they’re so much more than friends with benefits at this point.

For christ’s sake, they go to bed and wake up in each other’s arms, they go on dates and do shit like this _ in public, _ and now they’re going away for Christmas together.

Any logical person can see what’s happening between them. They can’t ignore that anymore.

Aleks bites at his bottom lip and his gaze dips down to Brett’s. “Brett?” he asks.

“Yes?”

“I don’t know what we are,” Aleks says. “But I know that we’re not really just fucking around anymore.”

“Yeah,” Brett breathes out. “It’s something more…” He licks along his lips as his gaze dips to Aleks’ and he leans himself closer, not a lot, but enough where they’re breathing each other’s air. “It’s been something more for awhile, I think.”

Aleks closes his eyes and breathes in Brett’s air and his head grows dizzy, it wavers in the clouds and turns light-headed but there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

“It is more,” he whispers. “I-I don’t know... don’t know how much more-”

“You do,” Brett whispers back. “Just say it.”

_ Tell him now. _

Aleks swallows back the whine that’s bubbling up from his throat and the hand he has on Brett’s cheek falls to grip tightly in the collar of his shirt.

There’s a part of Aleks, a rather big part, that wants to tell Brett and stop hiding. It’s actually getting harder to not tell Brett he likes him than the other way around and it’s so painful, keeping it to himself, but it’ll also be painful if Brett rejects him.

That very small part of Aleks tells him to keep it to the back of his mind. It tells him to ignore how loud that other part is and continue on the grand stage that is his life, his and Brett’s life, and it’ll be  _ their _ life just as long as Aleks doesn’t make any rash moves or decisions.

And that very small part is what wins.

_ Don’t ruin this great thing you already have. _

“It’s… it’s not just sex,” Aleks tells him. “That’s all I know for sure.”

Brett blinks a few times and rolls his lips back. “More than just sex?” he asks.

“Am I wrong?”

“No.” Brett shakes his head. “You’re…” He chuckles and brings his head away. “Not wrong at all. You’re not far off from what I was thinking.”

“What were you thinking?”

“Oh, I was thinking that,” Brett tells him. “You and I, we uh, got those beautiful minds. Beautiful minds think alike, huh?”

“... yeah.” Aleks brings his head away and drops his hands back to his sides. “They uh. They do.”

_ … I got what I wanted, didn’t I? _

Aleks has that confirmation from Brett that they’re more, so why does Brett still sound hesitant? He knows that Brett isn’t put off at all from it, he fucking said it himself that they’re something more.

They have yet to take that first big step but they sure as fuck are making some progress, Aleks thinks… no, Aleks knows they are. These are the building blocks to a relationship and little by little, every day, he and Brett are building that foundation but Aleks still feels like they’re on different levels in their progress making.

Brett sounds… unsure, but what would he be unsure about, if he knows they’re something more? Honestly, what the hell can he be unsure about? It’s mind boggling.

Aleks isn’t sure why Brett sounds unsure, why he seems hesitant, and he doesn’t know how to figure it out either.

At the very least, Aleks got that message across. He should focus on these small victories instead of getting caught on the overarching goal. It’ll happen in due time.

_ But how much time? _


	25. Written In The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Aleks go on their first fancy dinner date where they then have a discussion about what they discussed at the dog park. And Aleks figures out a way to get rid of some of that work related stress Brett is feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't upload anything last week and honestly, the reason is because I've been depressed as hell lately and I didn't have the motivation.
> 
> My motivation for things has been dwindling for a few months now. I'm trying hard to keep things together and keep going on with my creative pursuits, like this and other fics I'm working on, but I also have a lot of anxiety regarding my fanfiction - especially this fanfic.
> 
> It's weird because this is the fanfic I'm most proud of writing, but everytime I go to edit a chapter and finetune it for publishing, I can't help but remember things that I desperately want to forget about and it starts me back on that depressed path again. I end up associating this fic with those things but I have a habit with connecting fanfic to different points of my life, and it's a habit I wish I didn't have.
> 
> Anyways, that's why nothing was uploaded last week. I also don't think I'll be doing any triple upload weeks going forward and I'm incredibly sorry about that, to the few people that are reading this. But I appreciate everyone who is reading this and I thank you for sticking by me and my work, and I'm sorry for not being as consistent as I have been.
> 
> That all said, this chapter is probably one of my most favorite ones and it makes me tear up, thankfully in a good way, lol.
> 
> And potential disclaimer? I like Asher. I really just wanna put that in here again.

**October 16th, 2017**

When Brett is sat at the top of the ferris wheel of Pacific Park with Aleks, he can easily see the millions and millions of stars that paint the dark skies. Some form constellations and some just happen to come together in beautiful patterns but not a single one of them compares to the lovely star whose head is currently resting on his shoulder.

Aleks might not be an actual star but if he’s made of star remnants, like that stardust theory suggests, then Brett likes to think he qualifies.

And if Aleks didn’t have such a tight grip on his heart, then Brett would still be greatly annoyed with everything that’s happened at work today… er, he still is annoyed, but he’d rather take a stressful, but manageable 75 on the scale over the nightmarish 100.

They had finally completed shooting the first half of their Patreon.AVI video but it wasn’t without a lot of problems.

They were experimenting with brand new cameras so that’s one difficulty, then sometimes technology doesn’t fucking work the way you want, that’s another difficulty, and then sometimes you have a fucking annoying video editor, whose name starts with “A” and ends in “sher”, that drives a much needed truck for the shoot right into a fucking ditch and halting production, thus cutting into their rent time of the discounted lamborghini that neither him and Aleks knew how to drive at all and then Asher grew 10 feet in size and laughed at Brett and told him he will _ never _ see a video finished on time _ ever again _right before he proclaimed that he would steal Aleks from Brett’s arms.

Okay, so that last part didn’t happen at all, but Asher just makes everything worse in Brett’s eyes. He’s all like, _ “ooh, I’m Asher” _ and he just… you know! Ugh, Brett just really doesn’t like him. He thinks that the devil rose from the depths of hell to take over Asher’s body and every single mole is just a part of-

“- Asher’s vessel struggling to contain the devil within!” Brett exclaims as his eyes widen at Aleks.

Aleks narrows his eyes at Brett and his lips thin together in a squirming sort of expression. “Dude, seriously, what is with you and Asher?”

For everything Brett likes about Aleks, he fails to understand why Aleks is such good friends with him.

“He’s so… him!” Brett throws his hands in the air and rests his head over onto Aleks’ shoulder. “I mean, I’m sure the video is going to look good but it wouldn’t have had as many problems as it did if Asher-”

“Don’t even say it was Asher’s fault, dude,” Aleks warns. “He tried his best and he’s still new. He _ does _ care, whether you wanna admit it or not, and he’s got a creative way of thinking.”

Brett rolls his eyes and crosses his arms defiantly over his chest.

“Come on, you know he does,” Aleks tells him. “All of the scripts and ideas for the ad reads and skits are his idea and you love those.”

“I don’t love them that much,” Brett mumbles with a pout.

“Will you cheer up, you big baby?” Aleks laughs and looks up to the starry skies as he wraps an arm around Brett’s shoulder. “Stop thinking about work and leave it behind. Just enjoy this night with me. It’s been fun so far, hasn’t it?”

“... yeah,” Brett sheepishly admits. “It has, but…” Brett closes his eyes with a loud whine of, “I can’t help it! Annoying people make me really saaaaad.” He looks up to Aleks with an exaggerated pout and wraps the both of his arms around one of Aleks’ to cling on tight.

“Awww, daddy,” Aleks cooes and brings up his hand to tip up Brett’s head by his chin. “I know they do but if you think about me, about _ us, _ your night will get better. Think about our night so far and how it’ll continue to go. I’m telling you again to stop thinking about work.” He leans down to peck Brett on the lips and gives him a knowing look when he pulls away. “Please? For me?”

Brett quirks his lips back and forth at the peck and then he looks down to the bag between Aleks’ legs.

The bag contains a framed caricature of him and Aleks, but they’re drawn like an angel and devil respectively. There’s a glowing halo above Brett’s head and big, white, feathery wings protrude from his back. Small, black, and pointy wings protrude from Aleks’ back and red devil horns are nestled into his head. There’s even a cute little red, pointy tail. Despite all the differences, they’re both holding hands with very sweet smiles adorning their happy faces.

They had that done before they came onto the ferris wheel and before that, it was him and Aleks attending various attractions, sharing various treats with each other, such as cotton candy, ice cream, kisses, you name it, and walking around the pier of Pacific Park to admire how it looks in the hours of night; when the pier is lit in arrays of neon colors, aided by the natural moonlight, and the sounds of ocean waves swaying back and forth under the boardwalk.

“Only for you,” Brett grumbles. “Cause you’re my angel.”

Aleks narrows his eyes questioningly at Brett and purses his lips side to side before he gazes up into the sky. After taking a deep breath, he says, “you know, this was where my first date with Geoff was and looking back, it’s kind of weird. It’s like, weird that me and him even had a thing in the first place,” he chuckles. “Like, he’s cool and all but when I’m here with you, it’s just like…” Aleks shrugs and shakes his head. “Well, you’re a lot better than he is.”

Brett’s demeanor drastically picks up and he sits up more on the bench with a grin. As he kicks his legs up onto the benches on the other side of the cart, he says, “go on, keep stroking my ego. How am I better?”

It’s like Aleks said, Geoff is cool and all, but he’s competition - or was. Now that he’s with Gavin, he’s no longer a looming threat that nags at Brett’s mind. It makes it easier to court Aleks, to show Aleks how much better life would be if they could constantly share it with each other.

Brett likes the constant reassurance from Aleks that he’s better - better than anybody else.

“You’re better in every single way,” Aleks assures as he looks to the bag between his legs. “You say I’m an angel but you’re the real angel here. I know we already talked about that but I don’t mind telling you it over and over again.”

A heat rises to Brett’s cheeks and his gaze dips down to the bag as well.

_ According to that drawing, he’s right. _

“And,” Aleks says, “we’re a lot cuter than me and Geoff too. We just complement each other, I think.”

“Yeah, I totally feel you on that.” Brett rests his head onto Aleks’ shoulder and he smiles when Aleks rests his on top. “I’m bigger, you’re smaller. I’m tanner, you’re paler. I’m hairier, you’re… not as hairy,” he chuckles. “It’s like the saying, opposites-”

“Attract?” Aleks finishes with a grin.

Brett huffs a breath through his nose and closes his eyes with a fond smile. “Yeah, that’s exactly it.”

They’re still similar in other ways, such as their height, eye color, their hand size, and though it might be in the small details, it’s often the little things that go the longest way to making the most impact.

The ferris wheel doesn’t continue for much longer after that but the silence that permeates between them feels like an eternity and Brett isn’t ready to leave this little world they’ve created in the pseudo privacy of their cart. In this cart with Aleks, there’re no worries. There is only peace and happiness, and all Brett has to think about is Aleks and sure, sometimes that’s a worry on its own but in moments like this, the worry can be shelved to the dark recesses.

When their cart makes it to the very bottom, they both stand up and grab their things, as well as each other’s hand, before leaving the cart together. They maneuver down the exit path and head back onto the main part of the pier to continue the rest of their night with each other. The silence from the cart continues to be a mainstay but it also continues to stay comfortable. There’s no need to fill the silence with words and they’re content to just bask in the other’s presence.

Brett raises his eyebrows when Aleks nudges his shoulder and he gives the younger man his attention.

“You look really cute,” Aleks tells him with a smile.

Brett shares his smile and adjusts his hat before he looks down to the pier. “Thank you,” he says quietly. “I like when you call me that.”

Handsome and manly, that’s normal. Brett’s used to being called those names, not that it changes how flattered he is whenever he’s called that, but nobody really calls him cute, they don’t do that like Aleks does.

Brett doesn’t long for their love and praise like he does with Aleks either, and Aleks does give that to him a lot, but Brett still wishes to have it on a bigger scale. He’s just not the type of person to take something that’s already so good for granted.

“By the way,” Aleks says, “I booked dinner reservations for us a few days from now.”

“You made dinner reservations?” Brett gazes back to Aleks. “I thought I was supposed to be the sugar daddy.”

“I actually make more money than you so I think that label should be ascribed to me.”

Brett whistles and shakes his head. “Ouch,” he chuckles. “Really uh, making me rethink my life choices here.”

“Buuut all of your life choices have led to you fucking me so like, I’d say you’re doing alright.”

_ Dating you would be nicer, but aaaaanyways. _

With a grin, Brett looks back to Aleks. “I like to think I am too,” he says quietly. “So where are we going for dinner, daddy?”

Aleks smirks at the name and gives Brett a suggestive glance before he continues to look ahead. “It’s called Inn Of The Seventh Ray,” he answers. “It’s this really nice place, pretty fancy.”

“You want _ us _ to go somewhere fancy? You and me?”

“I wanna treat you.” Aleks shrugs. “You treat me and take care of me all the time so I wanna take you somewhere nice and show you that like… hey, you mean a lot to me and you’re important to me. So yeah, you deserve somewhere super fancy.”

“But you’re not getting me the whole world?” Brett sighs dramatically. “Aleks, I am a man of _ high standard.” _

Aleks bites at his lips and his thumb taps back and forth against Brett’s hand. He takes a deep breath before he looks to Brett and proclaims, “I’d give you the whole world if I could.”

_ “I don’t know what we are,” Aleks says. “But I know that we’re not really just fucking around anymore.” _

If they were just fucking around, Aleks definitely wouldn’t be saying shit like that. Brett’s glad that they agree on what this has turned into, that it’s more than just sex and it isn’t this simple friends with benefits thing anymore but he really thought that Aleks was going to say that _ he likes him _ right then and there.

Aleks didn’t.

Brett’s not surprised.

But when Aleks says that he’ll give Brett the whole world if he could, Brett doubts it, because Aleks _ is _ his whole world and Aleks isn’t giving that to him.

That’s a thought that needs to stay in Brett’s mind. Instead of arguing with Aleks about it, Brett just leaves a lingering kiss to his cheek, for as long as he can until that thought is swallowed by the night, and then he tugs Aleks towards the direction of the photo booths.

“You might not be able to give me the whole world now,”_ but you really should soon, _“but you can give me some pictures to remember us by,” Brett hints as he steps into the photo booth.

Aleks follows Brett in with a smile and looks all around as a sense of de-ja-vu permeates through his being. “That’s something I’m glad to give you,” he says quietly.

Brett mirrors Aleks’ smile as he takes a seat and his smile turns much more genuine when Aleks easily slides onto his lap. “You wanna give me those lips too?”

Aleks threads his fingers through the hair lying atop Brett’s neck and as he brings up the other to hold onto Brett’s shoulder, he looks to his lips and whispers, “anything for you, daddy.”

Brett closes his eyes when they kiss, blindly reaches a hand over to find the button for the timer, and he gives all of his attention back to Aleks once he finds it. An arm wraps around Aleks’ waist to hold him close, a hand clutches Aleks’ thigh to keep him steady, and he unceremoniously pushes his tongue inside Aleks’ mouth to rightfully claim what he deserves - the entire world.

One day, the entire world will be Brett’s. He strongly believes that. It's not a question of _ if _ , but a question of _ when. _

* * *

**October 19th, 2017**

A romantic dinner with Aleks at the most romantic restaurant in LA… can you tell that Brett is having a great time?

He and Aleks look great, their conversations are effortlessly flowing and entertaining, and the flirtations between them are as high as they always are when they go out to dinner, but moreso. The added fanciness of the restaurant lends to an atmosphere that helps to powerfully shove people into romantic intimacy and he and Aleks aren't immune.

Brett comes back out from the bathroom and makes his way onto the crowded patio again. The tables are fully sat, the waiters are running around with full trays, and they’re blabbering commands to the hosts. Yes, it’s quite evident how busy it is tonight, but despite the commotion that’s happening all around Brett, he still manages to spot Aleks at their table from distances away.

A regal white tent awns in an elegant canopy over their dining area, which earns its charm through its rustic, yet classical sense of ambience. White drapes are laid over the tables and they all cascade around a modest sized fountain and his and Aleks’ table are right beside it. A chandelier hangs from the middle of the tent and white, stringed lights droop all around to imitate the stars that are beginning to greet the darkening skies again.

Aleks was right when he said this place was pretty fancy. It definitely looks the part and their expensive food confirms it, but it’s probably the best food Brett has ever had so far. High quality is what the restaurant aims for and Brett can appreciate what’s being done here but he appreciates the fact that Aleks has gone all out for him that much more.

Waiters walk back and forth in front of Aleks but Aleks still sees past them to look at Brett, far away from the other side, and his and Brett’s eyes meet at the same time.

In a busy world that has a lot to offer, Aleks is what steals all of Brett’s attention.

He’s always so damn precious but tonight, he looks so damn _ handsome. _He’s wearing a dark gray button up shirt under a black suit vest and tie, with matching dress pants, and Brett thinks he should dress up a lot more often. Or maybe Aleks shouldn’t because if he always dressed up, Brett’s poor heart wouldn’t know how to handle it.

Brett’s outfit follows the same color scheme but instead of a suit, he’s wearing a black turtleneck, sleeves rolled to the elbows, with dark gray dress pants and the matching blazer he has is currently draped over the back of his seat. Brett sort of stressed over the fact that it wasn’t a suit, because he wants to be equal with Aleks, but Aleks picked out the outfit for him and he trusts Aleks’ judgement.

If Aleks thinks he looks hot, Brett can easily deal with it.

Brett smiles at Aleks, Aleks smiles back, and Aleks nods his head, Brett nods his head back, and he swerves his way through the people on the brick steps he’s descending from to make his way back to their table.

Aleks’ smile brightens as bright as the lights when Brett comes back and he opens his mouth to welcome him but that’s when Brett takes the extra step towards his side, rests a hand on the table, and leans in to steal a lingering kiss from his lips.

Nobody gives them a passing glance. Brett and Aleks are just like every other couple here so they shouldn’t get special attention. It’s possible that one or two people look over and question how close they are, but it’s obvious to these strangers that they’re more than friends.

Brett pulls away from Aleks with a wink and he says, “I missed you”, before he sits back at his chair.

“I missed you too,” Aleks says as he brushes his fingers along his lips. “My feet were getting cold.”

Brett raises an eyebrow at that and brings over one of his feet to rest on top of one of Aleks’. “How are they feeling now?”

Aleks says, “a lot better”, and nods. He looks up into Brett’s eyes and rests the both of his hands under his chin as he looks down to one of Brett’s. “But there’s uh, one more problem.”

“Uh oh, what’s up?”

Aleks smiles and brings out his hands from his chin, twiddles his fingers, and says, “my hands are cold too. You should warm them up.”

“You’re such a fucking hopeless romantic,” Brett chuckles, though he still reaches out to grab both of Aleks’ hands anyways. “But I am too.”

“I was gonna say, if you weren’t a hopeless romantic, then we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“You saying that somebody needs to be a hopeless romantic if they wanna eat here?”

“No, but if they’re just taking like… you know, a friend, then yeah, they’re kind of that level.”

Brett rolls his lips back and brings their joined hands together so both pairs were touching and he keeps them held in the air, above the middle of the table. His thumbs rub back and forth along the back of Aleks’ hands and Aleks watches Brett’s thumbs, waits for Brett to gather all of his thoughts.

They’re more than friends with benefits. They discussed that. So they should be more than friends, right? Clearly they _ are _ friends, and they joke like any other pair, but they’re also past that point. It’s beyond physical and now it’s transcending into a higher, more satisfying, yet much more complicating emotional plane.

“We’re not friends though,” Brett points out. “We’re more than friends. And we’re more than friends with benefits.”

“N-No, yeah.” Aleks nods. “I’m just saying-”

“In general, yeah, I get it.”

Aleks swallows and gnaws at his bottom lip. “The other day when we were talking about this, you said we were more, right?”

Brett slowly blinks up to Aleks. “I did,” he says quietly. “Why do you bring it up?”

“You sounded… unsure,” Aleks says. “Like you were hesitant to say we were more.”

“No, no, no, we_ are _ more,” Brett chuckles. “How did I sound unsure?”

“... I’m just overthinking it,” Aleks retracts. He looks over to the fountain and watches the water gently gush out. “It’s probably my anxiety making me look into things-”

“Like what?”

“Your tone, your pauses, just little things. But it’s what you always tell me,” Aleks chuckles, “I shouldn’t think too hard about it.”

Aleks has a valid basis to express worry but Brett isn’t unsure for the reasons he thinks. They are more, that’s a fact, but they’re a lot more than just sex and Brett knows what that is. He’s waiting for Aleks to realize that too so they can just get together and live happily ever after because god knows he won’t tell Aleks how he feels but at least he’s now starting to show it.

“And you shouldn’t,” Brett assures with a gentle voice as he moves forward to kiss their hands. “I promise that it’s fine.”

“You do?”

“Yes, angel.” Brett smiles as he brings his head back up and he gives Aleks’ foot a gentle tap for added reassurance. “Come on, let’s talk about something else. I don’t want you to worry, it makes me worry because I hate it when you’re in a bad mood and it becomes this whole big thing.”

“You’ve been more worried about shit this week,” Aleks points out with furrowed eyebrows. “You wanna talk about that at all?”

“It’s just work, same old.” Brett shrugs. “We’re trying new things, experimenting with new things, and I just want it all to work out.”

“I get that,” Aleks sympathizes. “Why did we decide to make our living on YouTube?”

Brett chuckles and shrugs. “I don’t know, but we’re dumb as fuck for doing so.”

Aleks purses his lips together. “Well. You’re not exactly wrong,” he says before he looks over to the fountain. “It’s worth it though, for all the experiences so far. Without YouTube, we wouldn’t have been able to do all the things we’re doing, meet all the people we’re meeting. And I don’t think I ever would have met you.” Aleks looks back to Brett with a smile and squeezes his hands. “So it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Brett glances to Aleks and a smile is persistent at tickling the corner of his lips, so damn persistent that it causes him to smile big. In an effort to calm it, he leans over the table to kiss Aleks’ cheek and that doesn’t really help but hey, any excuse to kiss Aleks is good enough for him.

“I don’t know where you decided to become a sweet talker all of a sudden, but I’m fuckin’ digging it, dude.” Brett lets go of one of Aleks’ hands to take a sip of his wine. “Or I guess it’d be more appropriate to call you angel right now.”

“I’d hold back on that name,” Aleks hints. “Cause I wanna be the opposite of that at Bruce’s party.”

“... you wanna go as a devil?”

“And you can go as the angel.”

It’s actually a wonderful idea. Typically, Brett likes to wear costumes that are relevant in today’s pop culture but it’s different this year, because he and Aleks are going _ together _ and he wants to match. An angel and a devil is perfect for the two of them, but...

“... there’s a problem with that,” Brett begins.

“There… is?”

“How will I cover my bald spot?”

“Dude, shut the fuck up!” Aleks lets go of their hands and gently swats at Brett’s before he grabs his wine glass. “Embrace your bald spot, my man!”

“But Aleeeeeks,” Brett whines and rubs his hand. “I wanna look goooood…”

“You already look good,” Aleks scoffs. “Fuckin’ look at you right now, you’re not wearing a hat and you look like a fuckin’ hot CEO of a fortune 500. Brett, you know that’s the kinda shit I live for.”

Brett hums lowly from his throat and pokes around his risotto, nearly finished. “I don’t feel like a fuckin’ hot CEO of a fortune 500,” he mumbles.

“That’s because you’re a twink in a daddy’s body. But you are, I promise.”

Brett’s eyes widen and his fork drops onto the plate. _ “Excuse me, _ young man?” He blinks up to Aleks, who’s looking at him with the biggest smirk. “Did you call me a _ twink, _ Mr. King Of Twinks?”

“I mean, you got the spirit of one,” Aleks argues before he takes another sip of wine. “And you can call me a twink but if you ever call me the_ king _ of them, you’ll never fuck me again. That’s a promise.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Brett sighs and leans back in his chair. “I’m just… I’m _ incredibly _curious as to how you came up with that.”

Brett’s worked very hard to be a manly man! His muscles are big, his beard rivals that of the most valiant vikings, and he could crush anybody between his thighs! There’s no room for him to be a twink, not when he’s such a manly man! He’s not denying that a twink isn’t a manly man either but uh… typically, they look like the opposite.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Aleks assures. “It’s one of the reasons why I like you, actually,” he chuckles and looks up at Brett as he rests his head against his hand. “You’re this big, manly guy, and you could crush me, right? But you’re so damn sweet, and you have the nicest, most soothing voice-”

“You’re still talking about me, right?”

“You do have a soothing voice,” Aleks repeats in a slightly more firm tone. “At least to me. It’s soft and gentle, I think. Anyways, if you’ll let me continue stroking your ego-”

“Yes, absolutely. Please continue, oh sweet devil of mine.”

Aleks huffs a chuckle through his nose. “Okay, so you’re really playful. You have a lot of love to give and you just wanna spread it. You care a lot about people, especially those closest to you, and you just want somebody that’ll love you and care for you in return, the same exact way…” He shrugs and sits up straight in his chair. “Brett, I think you’re unique. And you’re not like anybody I’ve ever met before.”

Brett crosses his arms over the table and looks down to them as he tries to settle the conflicting thoughts in his head.

On one side, he’s an extraordinary person in Aleks’ eyes. Aleks has been with him and has studied Brett enough to make these claims and Brett agrees with them. All he wants in his life is to find that special person that’ll love and care for him and Brett will return it just as equal, and it’s actually most likely that he’ll put forth just a bit more effort, not because that person doesn’t love him the way he loves this person but because that’s how Brett is.

Brett’s the type to spread love to anybody who will listen and anybody who’s against that isn’t a person Brett wants to be around. He’s very handsy and affectionate and he doesn’t like to beat around the bush.

That leads to the other side.

If Aleks can easily tell Brett all of this, then doesn’t it just make sense to ask Brett out and confess his feelings? Brett’s in love with Aleks, that’s obvious now, but even though Aleks just likes him (assuming he does), Brett would say “yes” to dating him in a heartbeat - because Aleks will fall in love with him eventually.

It means Brett could tell Aleks that he likes him, but Brett knows what he’s like. He’ll tell Aleks that and somehow, he’ll end up telling him, in the same breath, that he’s in love and it’ll scare Aleks off.

… you know what, it’s complicated. Should Aleks really be put at fault here? He's a victim just like Brett.

Brett reaches forward to grab Aleks’ hand and he intertwines their fingers to give their hands a squeeze. “You’re pretty unique yourself, Mr. Marchant,” he says with a smile as he looks up into Aleks’ eyes. “You know what I… what I _ like _ about you?” Brett asks.

“Do tell, Mr. Hundley.”

“You’re this big presence,” Brett says. “You walk into a room now, all eyes are on you. Everywhere you go, you carry this energy with you and I know what I’m saying right now sounds crazy, but you really do. Even though you’re all laid back and casual, you don’t need to do anything for attention because… it just naturally comes to you. In a dark room, you’d be glowing, constantly, while all the other lights work overtime just to flash for... even a second.”

Upon the mention of lights, Brett looks up to survey all the lights that help to bring this rustic dining area to life. “Right now, Aleks? There’s so many lights here, and they all light up bright but you’re the brightest one here. You’re the one that’s bringing life and color to everything around us and you don’t even need to do anything but be you,” Brett tells Aleks as he drops his gaze to look all over him, to admire all there is about him (there’s so much of it), and he takes in a deep breath before adding, “and you’re the best thing that anybody can be.”

And the best thing, the best _ person _in this universe is looking at Brett the best way anybody could.

Aleks’ dark brown eyes circle around the vicinity of Brett’s face and there’s no signs that they’ll wander. His lips are parted open and the corner barely, just barely, tilts upwards, but even the smallest hint of a smile is enough to light up Brett’s heart.

Millions of smiles from millions of faces but Aleks’ is the only one that can do _ that. _

At first, Brett wondered why that was, why a small smile could have such a strong effect on him, but now he knows that it’s because he was in love.

Falling in love with Aleks was bound to happen, Brett now realizes. He was powerless to stop it, just like he’s powerless in stopping himself from falling in love with Aleks all over again when Aleks smiles at him like this.

“That’s all really sweet,” Aleks tells him. “Like, super sweet,” he chuckles. “It’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever told me and…” Aleks bites at his lips and taps his foot against Brett's a few times in quick reflection. “I’m always gonna remember that, every single word, but I don’t think the light I bring, that you _ think _ I bring, is because of me.”

“What other reason is there?”

“Maybe I glow so brightly in the dark because of you,” Aleks reasons. “You’re like a lightswitch and when you enter a room that I’m in,” Aleks snaps his fingers, “I turn on, just like that.”

“You’re uh, really giving me a lot of power here.”

“I know what I’m saying, for once,” Aleks says. “And I know what I mean when I say it.”

Aleks squeezes their hands and it squeezes away a breath from Brett’s lips.

“I’m the light,” Aleks says, “but Brett, you’re the thing that powers the light and without you, I can’t bring all that life and color. It’s a two person job but…” He swallows and looks down to Brett’s lips as his own widen into a beaming smile. “I think we’re the two best people for it. And nobody else comes close.”

Comparisons like these are an unspoken thought, Brett thinks, and it’s the same thought every time -_ I like you. _

Every single one takes Brett’s breath away like it would if Aleks were to actually say it but they don’t give him that everlasting happiness. The happiness fills Brett and lights him up, Aleks serving as the power like Brett serves as his, but he’ll only glow for a day until he dims to a dull light again.

These comparisons aren’t for naught, however. It grows that hope that they’ll be something more and little by little, it strengthens that dull light in Brett.

Right now, the light is brighter than it ever has. It won’t be like this tomorrow, so bright that it blocks out the entire world, but it won’t be as dull as before either.

* * *

**October 21st, 2017**

Brett groans, slams his eyes shut, and rubs at his forehead. “Asher,” he says firmly into the phone, “I know it’s the weekend. But you still need to get it done.”

“I don’t work weekends,” Asher tells him. “Why should-”

“Yes, I _ know _ you don’t work weekends but that’s your fault for not finishing the video on time,” Brett sighs and opens his eyes. “The video needs to be uploaded tomorrow and it can’t be uploaded if you’re not even finished editing it. I tried to offer you a hand too many times now.”

Prior to Asher’s stupid voice, Brett was actually having a nice day and he did spend it with Aleks, thank you very much.

He and Aleks started the day with some hot and steamy shower sex, went out for breakfast, and then they met up with Khail and their other friends for a dude’s day out - typical, but fun. Brett wishes he could say he wasn’t handsy with Aleks but he kind of was, like, a whole lot.

It’s not like they held hands but any chance Brett could to touch Aleks or be near him was a chance he quickly took, and Aleks was the same way with him. That’s not very surprising but what _ was _ surprising was the fact that none of their friends said anything about it. Khail and everyone else just sort of… accepted it. Like it was normal, like they’ve always been doing it.

But he and Aleks are totally alone now and they were about to bring in the night by cuddling and watching a movie together and that’s when Asher decided to make his stupid presence known by texting Aleks about the situation and Brett saw the text flash on Aleks’ phone and before Aleks could do something about it first, Brett swiped Aleks’ phone to call Asher himself.

“Asher,” Brett interrupts, “I know you don’t work the weekends, but the video needs to get done so it can be uploaded tomorrow. I’m not asking you to work on it, I’m telling you. Get it done._ Please.” _

_ Click. _

“Why is it his life mission to get on my nerves?” Brett mumbles. “Just do your job.”

A notification flashes over Aleks’ screen and Brett narrows his eyes on the subject line of the e-mail.

_ “Discount Rate Options? Email me back!” _

“Aleks!” Brett calls out as he looks over to Aleks on the couch. “Why is that old landlord emailing you? What are you guys talking about?”

“I’m not,” Aleks sighs and rolls his eyes as he stands up from the couch. “That dude’s been emailing me lately but I haven’t read any of them. I don’t know what he wants.”

Brett purses his lips over to the side and gives the email a once over before he hands Aleks his phone back. “Sorry, I was just curious,” he says quietly.

It’s unrealistic to expect Aleks to live with him for a long time because they’re not really together. They’re more than friends and this is more than sex but Brett doesn’t think that’s enough for Aleks to put his life on hold just to live with him. Aleks has higher aspirations than to constantly fuck Brett and fall asleep and wake up in his arms.

Thankfully, Aleks doesn’t seem to be looking for other options right now. Brett’s glad for it because he isn’t sure how he’ll feel when Aleks eventually_ does _ look for other options.

Aleks looks over Brett’s body with a slight frown and walks in front of him. “Are you gonna come back in and help pick out a movie with me or not?” he asks quietly as he rests a hand over Brett’s cheek. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“Again, I’m sorry,” Brett sighs and glances to Aleks before his gaze averts away. “It’s just been one of those weeks, like, the stress is kind of piling up and people have been more annoying than usual-”

“Asher is a person, not a people.”

Brett snorts and shakes his head. “Not just him,” he says. “He’s been the most annoying, for sure, but there’s more. Like I said, one of those weeks. Don’t mean to sound like a bitchy drill sergeant.”

Aleks bites at his lips and gives Brett another once over. His thumb taps back and forth against Brett’s cheek for a few moments before he steps away, arms crossed over his chest.

Brett looks back to Aleks and his gaze drops to his arms. “Uh, what’s on your mind?” he asks.

“I’m… not entirely sure,” Aleks answers. “It’s coming together. Kind of. But I think I know how to make it all better, even more than that movie could.”

Brett raises his eyebrows with a small smile and his despondent immediately picks up. “Yeah? How are you going about that?”

Aleks grins and steps forward to leave a simple peck to Brett’s lips before he turns to walk to the stairs. “You’ll see. I’ll be back. How about you get popcorn started for us?”

“I’ll be happily awaiting your angelic presence!” Brett tells him with a slightly more cheerful tone as he heads into the kitchen.

Just the affirmation that Aleks is going to go the lengths to make him feel better is enough to lift Brett’s spirits. Aleks doesn’t have to do much at all, just has to be around Brett and offer a few encouraging words but Aleks has nice surprises for him. When Aleks cares, he_ really _cares and it shows.

Brett takes out the bag of popcorn from the pantry and goes to set it in the microwave. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest as he surveys the kitchen, then the dining area very closeby. His eyes fixate itself on the table and his mind flashes back to the very first time he and Aleks ate at that table together - their very first morning together in Brett’s house.

_“We don’t exactly know each other too well,” Brett says. “I mean, not as well as you and James might know each other.”__  
__  
_ _“It’s kind of weird, right?” Aleks asks. “We’ve known each other the longest but there’s still shit we don’t know about the other.”___  
  
“Yeah…” Brett slowly reaches over to grab his knife, twisting the stem of it around idly in his fingers. “There’s quite a few things.”

_ “Guess we’ll find out more about each other then,” Aleks says right as he finishes his sliver of bacon, wiping his hands off afterwards. “Like, I just found out that you make some fucking kickass bacon.” _

It still feels like yesterday that Aleks was complaining about being sick and needing a place to say. It still feels like yesterday that Brett was worrying about how to keep his crush on Aleks to himself with Aleks living with him. It still feels like yesterday that they were just friends and nothing more.

It’s funny how much things have changed in that time.

Now, Brett is trying to figure out how to successfully court Aleks and gravitate this thing of theirs into an actual relationship. He isn’t too sure how well he’s doing on that front but some progress has been made if Aleks can admit they’re more, right?

_ Ding. Ding. _

Brett raises his eyebrows and turns around to take the popcorn out of the microwave. He grabs the nearby bowl, rips the bag open above it for all the popcorn to disperse, and throws away the bag. He proceeds into the living room afterwards, or he begins to but stops when he hears Aleks’ footsteps.

Brett becomes dizzy with how hard he gets.

“Hey, daddy,” Aleks says in a sweet tone with a smirk as he crosses his arms on top of the bannister. “What do you think?”


	26. To Infinity (And Beyond Physical)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks' idea to wear a certain outfit for Brett, at the cost of his dignity, to get rid of those work related stress goes way better than expected,

“Hey, daddy,” Aleks says in a sweet tone with a smirk as he crosses his arms on top the  banister. “What do you think?”

Aleks, personally, thinks it’s kind of degrading. He hates how feminine the outfit makes him look and he’s never looked so much more like a girl in his life. If anybody else caught him like this, he’d hide himself six feet under but the look on Brett’s face is more than enough to let Aleks know that this might be worth it.

_ Might be. _

“Uh, you’re… you’re…” Brett breathes in deeply and sets the bowl aside on the counter. He clasps his hands together and holds them in front of his mouth, thumbs tapping against each other as he continues to drink Aleks in. “Fuck,” he mumbles.

Aleks smacks his lips together before he leans off the banister to saunter his way over to the older, bigger man. “Isn’t this what you wanted, daddy?” he asks as he plays with the white strings of his crop top blue hoodie. “Aren’t I pretty enough for you?”

Along with the hoodie, he’s wearing a pair of satin white panties with lace trim along the top and white fishnet stockings, also with lace trim along the top. Do you know how hard it was for Aleks to put these things on? To convince himself to just set aside his sense of manliness? Aleks doesn’t care how many times Brett tells him that this isn’t a girl thing because Aleks thinks otherwise.

He better fucking be pretty enough for Brett!

Brett’s had a stressful work week though, and Aleks has been trying to think of a way to properly show Brett how much he’s appreciated and wearing fucking lingerie for Brett after saying he’d never be caught dead in it is one of the best ways he knows to show it.

Plus, Aleks will never admit it out loud, but the panties are  _ sort of _ comfortable, even if the head of his dick is close to popping out.

“Pretty enough?” Brett repeats. “Angel,  _ yes,  _ of course you are,” he assures. “It’s just…” He blows out a breath, runs his hands back along his head and through the mane of hair at the back, as his gaze dips down to Aleks’ panties. “Fuck, this is so fucking much to take in. I didn’t…” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Aleks mumbles, “yeah, I didn’t think you would either,” as he fully makes it to Brett. “But uh, hey, until you finally take it in…” Aleks smiles up at Brett and reaches for one of his big, strong hands to intertwine their fingers together. “How about you take a seat and I take care of you for a little bit? How does that sound, daddy?”

“Uh, yeah.” Brett nods. “Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Uh huh. Totally.”

“Then follow your angel’s lead.”

Aleks turns on his heel to lead Brett into the dining room and he can’t see Brett when Brett’s behind him but he can still feel those dark brown eyes burning a hole into his panties and Aleks has to grin. He even gives a little sashay to his hips for Brett’s amusement and the “fuck” Brett gives underneath his breath makes him shiver in anticipation for what will come later.

That “fuck” is an indicator to Aleks that he’s going to get the fuck of his life when Brett fully realizes what’s happening. And when he realizes that, yes, Aleks _ is  _ wearing lingerie, he’s going to turn into that dominant force that never fails in making Aleks do what he wants…

_ Brett’s smile quickly dims to a void expression and he gives Aleks a harsh  _ ** _spank_ ** _ . “I’m not asking you,” he says firmly as Aleks continues to whimper in pain. “I’m telling you.  _ ** _Answer it.”_ **

_ A hot breath parts open Aleks’ lips before he gives a very quiet, “yes, daddy”. _

… when he wants…

**_“Don’t. You. Fucking._** **_Dare,”_**_ Brett growls. “Don’t you _**_dare_**_ come.”_

_ Aleks closes his eyes tightly and brings his hands up to grasp at Brett’s shoulders to wring the shirt material tightly in his hands. His eyes open again for a stray tear to roll down his cheek and he whines, “but I’m so  _ ** _close,_ ** _ daddy-” _

_ “Are you?” Brett asks. “Well if you want it so damn bad, how about you  _ ** _beg_ ** _ for it?” _

… and how he wants.

_ Aleks’ mouth widens entirely when Brett is fully sheathed inside him and a loud cry breaks through into the open. “Fuck!” he cries out. “Oh god,  _ ** _fuck me,_ ** _ ” he whines. “Please, please-” _

_ “You can fuck yourself,” Brett tells him as he wraps his arms around Aleks to turn them over. “And do it until you come. After that, daddy’s gonna take over the whole night, you won’t have to do a thing but lie there and take it, angel.” He spanks Aleks’ ass with both hands. “Up,” he says in a firm voice that leaves no room for argument. _

Teasing Brett? That’s fun. Acting as that seductive minx that Brett claims to hate so much? Ooh, that’s more fun. Fully giving in to Brett and allowing himself to be fucked like he’s nothing more than a toy? With anybody else, it’s humiliating, but with Brett, it’s the most fun thing they can do with each other when they have sex.

Aleks leads Brett into the dining room and he has Brett sit at the head chair. As Brett takes a seat, he walks behind him to rest his hands on his shoulders and he moves his mouth to Brett’s ear to murmur, “I wanna show you how much I appreciate you and everything you do for me, daddy.”

“I already know you do,” Brett says. “You don’t-”

“Shhh,” Aleks shushes. “I love reminding you,” he assures as he sinks his fingers into Brett’s shoulders to press at all those tense muscles. “You’ve been so good to me these past few weeks and you deserve it. It’s why I’m like, wearing this for you,” he chuckles. “I wanna make you happy, daddy. Are you?”

Brett raises his eyebrows and glances down to his crotch with a snort. “That’s a  _ hard  _ yes.”

Aleks looks down to assess the situation in Brett’s sweats and he breathes out a laugh at what he sees. “Hard already, huh? Am I really that pretty?”

“No, you’re fucking sexy,” Brett tells him in a low tone. “I’m still kinda lightheaded from how hard you’ve made me already.”

“Like I said, this is a good way to kill time until you’re completely ready to fuck me like the slut I am for you.” Aleks presses a kiss under Brett’s ear and moves his hands to press his thumbs against the nape of Brett’s neck before continuing with his massage. “And uh, you know,” he shrugs, “it’s a good time for other things.”

Aleks isn’t the greatest with massages but he’s trying his best here and that’s what matters. At the very least, he knows which areas need his attention and if Brett makes any noise, Aleks is a good judge at continuing if it sounds good or moving his hands elsewhere if it sounds less than pleased but Brett seems to like it so far.

Brett closes his eyes and rolls his lips back with a hum. “Mmm… so what other things do you mean?”

“Telling you how great you are, maybe? You work so hard, daddy,” Aleks says. “You always do but it worries me sometimes. I think you work too hard sometimes and you don’t have to when I’m right here.”

“I wanna make it easier for you-”

“This is my company too,” Aleks reminds him as his thumbs press harder, Brett’s hum of pleasure growing louder. “You shouldn’t worry so much all the time. You’re always stressing yourself out, always doing the most, and you don’t deserve that, daddy.” Aleks shakes his head and moves it over to steal a kiss to Brett’s cheek before he proceeds to plant a trail of kisses over to his ear. “Nooooo, you deserve to take it easy. Or at least, you deserve to be told how great of a job you’re doing. Or how much your work is appreciated. Or how you work your ass off all the fucking time.”

“That’s just part of the job, angel,” Brett sighs. “I’m not doing anything special-”

“But you are, daddy,” Aleks purrs against his ear. “Don’t be so modest. You know you work hard. Like I said, it’s why I’m wearing such  _ pretty _ lingerie for you.” Aleks rolls his thumbs around hard into the nape of Brett’s neck a few more times before he snakes his hands around to wrap around Brett’s shoulders from the front, his chin resting on top Brett’s shoulder while his breath wavers against his ear. “It’s my way of showing you that I notice and I care. That I care about you and what you want too.”

Brett blinks his eyes open to look ahead as he raises his hands to hold onto Aleks’ arms. He clings tight, Aleks clings tighter to him, and Brett closes his eyes as he relaxes again in his seat. “I don’t deserve you, angel,” he whispers.

“I don’t deserve  _ you,  _ daddy,” Aleks whispers back.

Brett shakes his head and tilts it enough to kiss what he thinks is Aleks’ temple, he’s pretty sure it is but regardless of where the kiss lands, Aleks still smiles at the silent reassurance.

“I still don’t deserve you,” Brett says quietly, “but I know that I’m a better person with an angel like you by my side. And I’m so thankful.”

Aleks wets his lips and moves his mouth closer by Brett’s ear and the words, “you’re my god,” escape in another whisper and his arms unlatch enough for one of his hands to travel down Brett’s clothed torso. “You’re my god,” he repeats. “You own me and you can do whatever you want to me. I’ll always say yes.”

Aleks allows Brett to have this much power over him for a good reason and it’s not because he’s the epitome of man, though he definitely is. It’s not because he fucks Aleks like a god either.

Out of everybody that has crossed paths with Aleks, Brett is the one he trusts with his entire life, and nobody else has managed to come close to that point, not even James. He doesn’t have to pretend to be somebody he isn’t with Brett. He doesn’t have to joke all the time with Brett. He doesn’t have to act like everything is fine with Brett because with Brett by his side, everything _ is _ fine.

When most of your life is spent performing for a camera in some way, it can really fuck up your perception. It’s why Aleks tries to live this party lifestyle all the time, why he tries to act like somebody that people want to be, that people _ aspire _ to be, and it’s a facade he works so hard to maintain, but it completely crumbles around Brett.

Brett understands Aleks. He’s been in Aleks’ shoes before and he’s been through it at all.

So Brett deserves the privilege of putting Aleks in the most vulnerable position, because he’s not going to take advantage of Aleks or expect anything. All he wants is for Aleks to be Aleks, and Aleks will gladly do that for Brett, just like he’s glad to finally let go with Brett and stop thinking about everything else.

All Aleks has to think about is Brett.

Brett’s gaze drops to Aleks’ wandering hand, now on his stomach, and right as it reaches the waistband of his sweatpants, he gently grabs the tips of his fingers with his own hand. Brett brings it to his mouth and brushes a kiss over the knuckles before he leans up off the chair to stand up. “How about you bring you and that sexy ass around front?” he asks.

With a victorious smile, Aleks makes his way around and as soon as he’s in front of Brett, Brett hoists him onto the table and it forces a small gasp from his lips - never will there be a moment he isn’t caught off guard by Brett’s effortless strength.

“Almost don’t wanna do anything to you when you’re dressed like this,” Brett reveals as he rests his hands on top of Aleks’ knees. His fingers splay along the fishnet stockings, nails press through the threads into Aleks’ skin, and Brett coaxes Aleks’ legs apart so he can step up to the edge of the table. After a small chuckle, Brett swipes his tongue along his upper lip and as he looks down to Aleks’ panties, he says, “ _ almost _ being the keyword.”

Aleks swallows back the whimper rising in his throat and he even presses his hand to the column of it, like it’ll help to squander the noise and he can continue to act like his dignity is still present. “You better do a lot of things to me,” he breathes out as his eyes dip to Brett’s erection, which has made quite an obvious tent.

It’s begging for some kind of attention, just like Aleks is silently begging to get his hands on Brett to remind himself of the reality he’s been blessed with. The hand he has on his own throat twitches, his fingers curl back and forth, and he slowly brings it downwards to give Brett the attention he deserves but Brett’s one step ahead, he always is.

Brett takes Aleks’ hand and presses it to his chest. He watches as he slides Aleks’ hand down the length of his torso and he inches closer, enough to press his forehead against Aleks’. His teeth run along his bottom lip and as he slips Aleks’ hand under his sweatpants and briefs, right on top his hard length, he asks in a low tone, “you feel how much I want you?”

“Yes, daddy,” Aleks moans and curls his fingers along Brett’s thick and hard shaft, moans again at how warm it feels in his hand. “Fuck, you really want me, don’t you?”

“And I’m going to have you,” Brett breathes out against Aleks’ lips as he takes his hand off of Aleks’. He groans when Aleks begins to jerk his length and his hands move forward to slip down the back of Aleks’ panties, grabs those thick asscheeks firmly in his hands. “Gonna fuck you so good in this pretty outfit.”

Aleks wishes those fingers could slip in further, slide down the crack of his ass and push inside but their games have only just began.

“Please,” Aleks moans again and tilts his head, briefly gazes into Brett’s eyes before he looks down to his lips with pure desire, so close yet so far. “I was made for you to fuck me in this, to destroy me in this.”

His hand runs up to the tip of Brett’s cock and his thumb swipes along the top to gather the precome so he can jerk Brett quicker. The moan Brett gives in approval wisps over Aleks’ lips, causes him to shiver because he thinks about Brett moaning like that when he finally pushes into his ass and it can’t come quick enough, it never does.

“Wanna know how much I’m gonna destroy your sexy body, angel, huh?” Brett asks almost in a taunting fashion as his eyes dip to Aleks’ lips, and he wets his own in anticipation.

“How much, daddy?”

“There’s gonna be nothing left of you,” Brett tells him. “It’s just going to be me, everywhere you look. You’re going to be completely mine.”

_ I’m already yours. _

“Oh yeah?” Aleks nods. “Is that a promise?”

Brett breathes out a chuckle and shakes his head. “You getting cheeky with me?”

“No.” Aleks shakes his head in return. “Just really fucking horny for you.”

“Show me how horny you are with that hot mouth,” Brett whispers before he smashes their lips together.

In fact, Brett does it so hard that Aleks leans back on the table a little and though Brett is still tightly holding onto him (Aleks prays he never lets go), Aleks has to bring his other hand up to hold onto the nape of his neck for some help. It also lets him pull himself to the edge of the table, allows him to get as close as he can with Brett, and now he’s jerking Brett off at an awkward angle but he doesn’t think it matters, and Brett seems to share the same belief, because they moan loudly at the rise in warmth their shared body contact creates.

The air in the room is so much hotter now, Brett’s body is radiating heat like a furnace, but Aleks wants more. He’s cold, so damn cold, and he wants Brett to completely take over him and his body until it feels like he’s submerged in the sun’s core and that means withering away into nothing, sure, but an end by Brett’s hands is so worth it, Aleks thinks. That’s his idea of going out in a blaze of glory.

Their tongues are unrelenting in their quest to fully claim each other, the typical way their kisses go regardless of whatever their roles are in the sexual games they’re playing. Aleks’ fingers brush along Brett’s neck, play with the ends of his hair, and Brett brings his hand up to the nape of Aleks’ neck as well while the other rests right above the lace band of his satin panties, fingers grazing along the material and every so often, he’ll catch the threads and pull at it because he can’t resist touching this outfit, this outfit _ for him. _

“You’re so big,” Aleks whispers against his lips. “It’s gonna tear me in half, daddy, I’m so fucking ready for it.”

“I’ve been ready for it, angel,” Brett says. “Let’s move this along so we can mark that off your to do list, huh?”

“Wanna know what’s at the top?”

“I’m pretty sure every goal on your to do list has to do with me. That’s why it’s called a _to do_ list.” Brett chuckles and raises his eyebrows. “Get it?”

“You ruined my dirty talk. I’m kinda butthurt now.”

“You’re gonna be butthurt later.”

“Less memes, more sex.”

“Less memes? Did I hear that from you?”

“Daddy,” Aleks whines. “I’m serious…”

“Awww, okay, okay, I’m sorry,  _ angel.” _ Brett leaves a parting kiss to Aleks’ lips. “But really, let’s get going. There’s still a lot I wanna do to you and I intend to do  _ all  _ of it.”

That placates Aleks and with a small grin, he takes his hand off his neck, his other hand taking its sweet time in letting its grip go on Brett’s length.

It’s disappointing, not touching Brett. Aleks can still feel the heat of him on his hand, pulsating in his strokes, but it’s only a matter of time until he feels Brett’s strokes inside him so he reminds himself to be patient. Sort of hard to do while he’s wearing girly lingerie, but not impossible.

Brett takes his seat again and raises his eyebrows at Aleks as he curls his finger back and forth to beckon him off the table and when Aleks hops off, he tells him, “do a little twirl for me.”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest, his hip cocking to one side. “Excuse me?” he asks.

“Do a twirl for me. A slow one. I wanna see what I’m working with.”

_ He’s going to give you the fuck of your life soon. Suck it up and do it. _

Aleks takes a deep breath and brings his hands up to clutch onto the strings of his hoodie. Very slightly standing on the tips of his toes, he slowly turns himself around so Brett can admire every single one of his angles and the slightly girly act rectifies itself with the predatorial way Brett is looking at him.

Again, Aleks doesn’t have to see his face to confirm it. He and Brett have been at this long enough that he just knows.

“Uh huh, very nice.” Brett nods and looks up to Aleks before his eyes continue their appraisal down the length of his body.

Aleks’ baby blue crop hoodie stands out against his pale skin. It cuts off about a few inches below his chest to leave his stomach exposed. The pudge of it sort of settles over the lace of his panties but the pudge looks so soft and grabbable and the same can be said for his hips, which seem to have more of a curve to them than they did before.

The light in the room reflects off the satin material of the panties, brings more attention to Aleks’ bulge. If one were to look close (and Brett does), they can see the head of his dick through the lace but for the most part, the panties do their job in keeping that part of Aleks within their material. It only fails with his ass and only because Aleks is thicker now, much more than before.

Thank _ god. _

White fishnets cover the majority of Aleks’ slender legs but the spaces in between show off more of his legs, prevents them from being totally restricted to the outside world. The white of the fishnets and panties sort of blend in with Aleks’ skin and become one with him and the product of that is a picture perfect slutty angel - two contrasting things that work so well together.

Brett’s final verdict of Aleks’ body after the appraisal?  _ Priceless. _

Brett stands up from his chair and requests, “one more time.”

Aleks huffs through his nose. “But I just-”

“I’m not asking you, I’m-”

“- telling you,” Aleks finishes with a slight grumble. “I know-” He suddenly whines in pain when Brett slaps his cheek and his whine grows louder when that big, strong hand roughly grabs onto his chin.

_ Now this is what I’m talking about. _

“Don’t you  **dare** interrupt me again,” Brett growls. “You wanna be a good slut for daddy, don’t you?”   


“Y-Yes, daddy, yes,” Aleks whimpers. “I’m sorry, please, I-I am.”

Brett narrows his eyes questioningly at Aleks as he lets go of his chin. “Then give me one more twirl,” he demands. “Do as I say.”

Aleks swallows and stares up at Brett with blown over eyes of lust before his hands drop to his sides. Rolling his lips back between his teeth, he grabs the sides of his panties and proceeds to turn but right as his back exposes itself to Brett is right when Brett pushes him down onto the table to bend him over. Before Aleks can ask what’s going on, his panties are already down around his thighs and there’s a familiar wetness at his hole that he knows and loves oh so much.

“Oh god,” Aleks moans and drags his nails against the smooth wood of the table. “Oh my  _ god-” _

“I’m your fucking god, don’t forget it,” Brett groans against his hole. He gives Aleks a spank and jiggles the asscheek in his hand before repeating the action with the other hand and then he wastes no time in diving right into Aleks’ ass with his skillful tongue.

Of course, Aleks wastes no time in crying out his approval.

Brett tells Aleks that he knows how to give great rimjobs, better than he could ever do, but Aleks has a hard time believing that. He has a good basis not to believe it either - he can like, actually come from Brett rimming him. Seriously, it’s happened before! That’s how good Brett is!! Holy fuck, and he’s so great right now, what if it happens again?

His tongue knows where to press and how long to press for, his hands wander all over his ass, it’s constantly being spanked and kneaded, and Aleks is constantly pushing back and gyrating his hips like he’s in heat and he sort of is because he’s  _ dying _ for Brett’s cock to be inside him, to fill him up, fuck, he wants to be so full of Brett that he can’t take anymore of him and even then, he’ll find a way to take more. Aleks is pretty proactive when it comes to their sex life.

Brett’s tongue continues to move back and forth inside and he sucks at Aleks’ hole. He pokes his tongue out to teasingly trail the tip of it along the rim for a few moments before it dives back in to explore Aleks’ inner walls, to slick him up enough for what’s about to come. He leaves an open mouth kiss before giving Aleks one more spank.

“Oh, daddy…” Aleks sighs and lids his eyes shut. “I love your mouth so much, you know just how to open me up.”

“And I know just how to drive you crazy too,” Brett murmurs as his tongue slips out of Aleks’ hole to trail downwards, past his balls, and one hand moves to grab Aleks’ cock so he can hold it back behind his legs.

“You do, you really do,” Aleks breathes out. “You just like, know every fucking thing about-”

_ What is happening right now?! _

Aleks’ eyes blow open wide when the wetness settles over the shaft of his own hardness and they slam back shut when Brett’s lips wrap around the tip.

“Oh fuck, Brett!” he gasps. “You’re - ahh, ahhh, fuck me!” he squeaks out. “Oh my god, yes, yes!”

The pleasure of now having two fingers inside him while Brett is sucking him off (from behind!) completely overrides the embarrassment from his squeaking, high pitched noises and it takes over his internal circuits like a virus and the virus wants him to squirm and writhe, to whimper and squeak, to fully turn into the sexy submissive slut that Brett deserves.

Aleks bites down hard on his lips and his toes curl inward as much as they can, his nails sink deep into the flesh of his palms, and then Brett takes him in all the way so easily (of course he fucking can) and Aleks lets go of his lips with another loud cry of, “daddy!”

When Brett hears that name being torn from Aleks’ lips, he gives Aleks another finger and they work quicker in opening him. He then pulls back up to the tip of Aleks’ cock before he deepthroats him again, and again, until it pulls a pretty noise that’s on the edge of sobbing from Aleks’ mouth.

Why does he do that? Aleks wishes he knew but he wishes it’d stop. He also wishes it didn’t, because it feels so good but that’s just it, it’s  _ too _ good. Brett keeps going like this and he’ll make Aleks come and then Aleks will be so _ sensitive  _ and when he’s sensitive, he gets so much louder, he’s so much more prone to doing what Brett says-  _ oh my god, he’s evil and I love him sooo much. _

After a few moments, Brett slowly pulls his mouth up the length of Aleks’ cock and lets go with a _ pop _ so he can lap at the head of it. He stares at the back of Aleks’ head with a burning darkness in his eyes as his tongue trails along the underside of his tip and his fingers press all the way to the knuckle, they curl in the best manner to stimulate that bundle of nerves inside Aleks that’ll make him  _ scream _ and when Aleks does scream, Brett can’t help the smirk that graces his face upon his victory.

“Feels so good, huh?” Brett asks as he lines kisses along Aleks’ shaft. “Bet you’re so close to making a mess for daddy, huh?”

“Please, daddy!” Aleks shouts. “Oh my god, let me come-”

“Oh, you wanna come?” Brett raises his eyebrows. “When I haven’t even fucked you yet?”

“Yes,  _ yes, _ because it feels so good and I’m so  _ close _ , please, I’ve been such a good boy so far, I’ve been a pretty angel for you and that’s what you want, isn’t it, for me to be this angel for you, wearing pretty things for you, daddy-”

“Begging without being told, huh? I fucking  _ love it,” _ Brett chuckles lowly and gives Aleks one more spank. “Yeah, I’m going to give you just what you need, angel” he says as he moves his mouth towards Aleks’ cock once more. “Go ahead and come for me.”

It’s sort of embarrassing to come so quickly but Aleks can’t help himself, not when Brett is this good, not when Brett is stimulating him pretty much everywhere he can be stimulated.

A minute or two after Brett goes back to sucking him off and Aleks’ forehead drops against the table so he doesn’t have to look at anything, he can just close his eyes and anticipate the pleasure, so much of it. His moans and cries come out muffled against the tabletop and his nails scrape against the smooth wood, it leaves the faintest of marks, but he’s only focused on chasing that pleasure Brett has so nicely given him.

And this is just the _ start _ of all they’re doing tonight.

“Br-Brett,” Aleks gasps. “Daddy… daddy, Br-Brett, Brett, daddy!”

Brett moans around Aleks’ length as Aleks’ release splashes against the back of his throat and he happily sucks down every drop until Aleks is totally spent. He even continues afterwards, just to be extra sure (maybe to be an extra tease too), and once he’s sure that Aleks is done, he very slowly pulls back off and his fingers still completely inside.

“Daddy still has to fuck you,” Brett says.

“I know,” Aleks breathes. “H-He better.”

With a grin, Brett shakes his head and says, “you’re insatiable,” as he slides his fingers out.

“You’ve… you’ve told…” Aleks gasps and settles his arms on the table so he can pull himself up. “T-Told me that… before.”

“It’s a good thing you are, angel,” Brett assures. “Fuck, I’m never going to get tired of doing all this with you, whenever and wherever I want.”

Aleks breathes out a chuckle and rests his hands flat on the table. “So wherever are you gonna fuck me tonight?” he asks as he stands up straight, though there’s a slight wobble to his legs when he does do.

“You know what, angel?” Brett grabs the sides of Aleks’ panties to pull them up his legs and he fully slides them back over Aleks’ ass right as he stands up to press his body against his, his chest to the line of Aleks’ back. “After coming like that for me, making all those pretty noises in this pretty little outfit?” Brett’s finger slips under the side of Aleks’ panties and lets it snap back against his skin before his hands grab onto his hips. “Ooh, you deserve a little say in what we do.”

Brett keeps saying that - _ pretty. _

But it’s fine hearing that from Brett.

Aleks knows that Brett doesn’t mean it in a girly fashion and that makes all the difference, much like how he’d wear this for Brett and nobody else.

Everything in sex is different when you’re doing it with somebody who genuinely cares about you and how you feel. Things that you weren’t willing to budge on before are much easier to do now and even the tiniest things done, like the simplest touch of the very tip of a finger to the very tip of one’s length, give worlds of pleasure...

_ “You wanna be a good slut for daddy, don’t you?” _   


… and if you genuinely care about that person in return, you’re willing to do things you would never ever do with anyone else.

For Aleks, it’s wearing lingerie for Brett. It’s being submissive for him, being a slut for him, and he doesn’t mind doing anything to ensure that… even at the cost of his dignity.

But the cost of Brett?  _ Priceless. _

Aleks hums and closes his eyes when Brett presses himself against his ass and he lulls his head back onto Brett’s shoulder. “You’ll let me choose where I get fucked? Aren’t you a good daddy?”

“And you’re a perfect angel,” Brett murmurs against his ear.

_ I better fucking be with the shit I’m wearing for you right now. _

Aleks grins and lids his eyes open. “You know, daddy, I don’t think your _ perfect angel  _ has been the _ perfect slut _ yet.”

“Oh? Well we need to do something then. How do you suggest we change that?”

“Fuck me in front of the mirror,” Aleks tells him. “I wanna watch you fuck me into the perfect slut that I’m supposed to be for you.”

If Aleks wasn’t acting like a perfect slut before, then Brett will easily fuck him into one. It’s like a skill of his, fucking Aleks so good that he can get Aleks to do his bidding, no matter what it is. Brett’s dick game is… it’s the kind of dicking that has Aleks feeling the thrusts long after it’s over with, yet still so empty and the only cure is to keep coming back for more until he’s physically unable.

Maybe Aleks is too addicted, but Brett hasn’t made any plans to rehabilitate him. Aleks hopes he never does.

The only thing Aleks is hoping for is a response, because Brett still hasn’t said anything and Aleks totally thought he’d be all over this. Hello, fucking a blonde twink in lingerie in front of a mirror? Isn’t that Brett’s dream? It certainly isn’t Aleks’, that’s for damn sure, but if you took that lingerie out of the equation, it could be.

Aleks furrows his eyebrows and proceeds to turn his head to Brett. “Are you… good with that? If you’re - woah, Brett!”

Brett quickly drags Aleks from the dining room, through the living room, and towards the stairs. “Yeah, let’s fucking do this,” he breathes. “You better watch yourself get fucked. We’re making full use of that mirror.”

“Y-Yeah, that’s the idea,” Aleks stutters as he stumbles over the steps. “Wasn’t gonna do anything else.”

“I know,” Brett says. “Still wanted to make that very clear.”

The inside of Brett’s bedroom is dark when they make their way in but the crack of light from the connecting bathroom is a beacon that leads the way. Aleks is dragged inside and is instantly bent over the counter and on instinct, he looks back to sees Brett hastily pulling down his pants and briefs.

When that thick cock finally enters his vision, Aleks can’t help the needy moan that falls from his lips but the moan shifts into a whine when Brett threads a hand through his hair to force him to avert his gaze ahead into the mirror.

“I better not catch you looking anywhere else,” Brett tells him before he grabs the hem of his shirt to pull it up his body.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” Aleks breathes out. He wets his lips and releases a quiet hum when he sees Brett’s naked torso in the reflection of the mirror and as Brett replies, Aleks takes that time to look over his body.

Aleks didn’t think it was possible but Brett is so much bigger now. Brett’s biceps are godly huge, his pecs are much more full, his body is wider, and his chest and stomach are hairier, especially his chest. There’s a heavy dark scattering of hair over his pecs and as it trails down his torso, the hairs become less prominent until it’s more of a neatly manicured line.

Christ, Brett’s masculinity is overpowering. For a guy that hates being seen as girly, Aleks really shouldn’t find that as hot as he does but, well, he does. He feels so small compared to Brett, like any minute, Brett could crush him or easily pin him down and have his way but Aleks is fine with that. Brett _ deserves  _ to do those things to him and he’s earned the privilege.

“Well you better learn to control yourself,” Brett says as he reaches over to the drawer to find the lube, but it doesn’t take long. He retrieves it from inside and after closing the drawer, he adds, “you wanna stay my perfect angel, don’t you? So you need to do as I say. And you  _ especially _ need to be patient.”

“Of course I do, daddy, yes.” Aleks nods and furrows his eyebrows together when he watches Brett lube himself. “H-Hey, go in dry.”

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks up into the mirror. “I wanna go all night. I’m not fucking you just once.”

Aleks thins his lips together. “So you’re not fucking me in this outfit just once?”

Brett chuckles, “you’re the one who wanted to wear it and I’m gonna take advantage of it.”

“I…” Aleks sighs. “Yeah, I know, and I’m glad it’s obviously making you feel better but can there be a little something for me?”

“Sure, I like doing things for you without some ulterior motive behind it.”

Aleks huffs through his nose and Brett grins at him in the mirror before he chuckles again and says, “I’m kidding. Please, what do you want me to do?”

Aleks gnaws at his bottom lip and he watches Brett fully lather the lube on in the reflection.

He actually won’t admit that he’s sort of thankful Brett insists on lube this time, though he wouldn’t have minded either if Brett just slid in. Either way, Brett’s in him bare and he’s gonna fill him up by the end of the night. Believe it or not, Aleks isn’t much of a complainer.

“You said you’d wear lingerie for me if I really wanted, right?” Aleks asks. “To make me comfortable? I want you to do that.”

_ He probably wasn’t being too serious- _

“Okay, fine, done,” Brett breathes out as he grabs Aleks’ thighs, forces his legs further apart.

_ Well that was easier than I thought. _

Aleks swallows and reaches his hands up to steady them on the counter. His fingers splay among the white marble countertop, press hard against it for some sort of grippage, but his grippage falters when Brett’s lubed length nestles itself against the crack of his ass through his panties to start grinding back and forth and Aleks  _ whines, _ his eyes momentarily lid shut before he remembers what Brett said from before, and he forces them open.

“Daddy!” Aleks whimpers. “Please fuck me,  _ pretty please-” _

“I’ll fuck you when I wanna fuck you,” Brett whispers against his ear. “You’re _ my  _ fucktoy.”

Brett presses a hand hard on Aleks’ back to bend him over the counter more before the both of his hands surge forward to pin Aleks’ hands to the counter. His fingers curl tightly against Aleks’ palms, enough to cause some pain, and Aleks groans because of it. He tries to move his hands and curl his fingers in an effort to divert that feeling but Brett’s got him firmly locked in place and at the knowledge that he can’t move, that he’s trapped between Brett and the counter, he whines much louder than before and embarrassingly for him, that whine grows in volume when Brett continues to rub himself against his ass.

“You’re so fucking sexy, baby,” Brett groans as he looks into the reflection, mouths a wet kiss against Aleks’ cheek, and he smirks when Aleks slightly tilts his head over to the side. “Don’t act like you don’t love this, being such a pretty slut for me.”

“N-No, daddy, I do, I-I do, I promise,” Aleks whimpers and pushes back against Brett to show that he means it. “I-It’s just you’re, y-you’re so close to being in me a-and I need you so bad-”

“How much do you need me?” Brett kisses back to Aleks’ ear, gently drags out the lobe with his teeth before he whispers, “tell daddy how much you need his thick cock filling that tight ass of yours.”

When Aleks looks at his reflection, he finds himself unrecognizable, even though he knows it’s him. That’s his frosted blonde hair, his brown eyes, his parted open lips, but Brett has completely melded him into his fuckdoll again. All of the little things that made Aleks the man that he is have been dashed away with any other traces of Aleks. All that’s left is Brett’s fuckdoll, which really isn’t a bad fate to be destined with, and now Aleks has the responsibility to uphold that image.

Aleks rolls his lips back between his teeth, gyrates his hips back and forth against Brett as he says, “let go of my hands and I’ll show you just how much I need it.”

“You really need both your hands to do that? Don’t think your words are good enough to do the trick?”

“J-Just give me one hand then, daddy,” Aleks pleads. “I’ve been so good for you so far! Come on-”

“Better be worth it, angel."

Aleks sighs with relief when one of his hands are freed and he waves it back and forth in appreciation of the freedom.

“Aleks,” Brett says in a tone that borders on threatening, though the look he gives into Aleks’ eyes in their reflection shows how close that border is. “Get on with it.”

Aleks stares back into Brett’s eyes, the darkest they’ve ever been in the long length of time they’ve known each other, and he doesn’t know whether it turns him on or scares him or if it’s both but whichever one it is, it tells Aleks to keep their game rolling.

His hand slips off the counter and trails down his own chest, over his stomach, then along his side. It cascades around to his back, over the lace band of his panties, and he moans when his hand brushes against Brett’s thickness, he can’t help himself there, but it doesn’t stop him from pulling his panties over to the side enough to expose his entrance.

“I don’t want you to fuck me like you own me,” Aleks moans, “because you already fucking do. You always have, you always will. This is  _ your _ ass, daddy. Fuck it.”

“Damn right, I own you” Brett growls against his ear as he grabs his shaft to instantly push the head of his cock past the rim of Aleks’ hole. “I own every  _ fucking thing  _ about you,” he moans, and it grows louder with each inch that pushes inside. “I’m your  _ fucking _ god,” he breathes as he fully settles inside Aleks, “and everything of yours belongs to me.”

It always hurts when Brett pushes in. He’s so thick and for somebody as tight as Aleks, there’s no way that it’ll ever not hurt, but Aleks will never feel anything better.

_ Brett is inside him.  _ What’s better than this?

Nothing.

Call it crazy, but Aleks doesn’t care. Brett is all the way inside him and Brett’s hot body is pressed over his, Brett’s hotter breath ghosts against his ear, and all of Aleks’ senses drown in Brett. He’s thinking about Brett, he sees Brett, he smells Brett, hears Brett, still tastes Brett on his lips, and most importantly, he can feel Brett and every single thick inch stretching his tight ass open.

When Brett is inside him, Aleks feels complete.

So is it really crazy to say that nothing will ever be better than this, if  _ this _ is the only thing that makes Aleks feel like  _ that? _

Aleks head throws back onto Brett’s shoulder with a cry so loud that it turns into a broken sob. He can see the smirk on Brett’s face, sees and feels Brett’s tongue poking out to lick along his jawline before his teeth latch into his neck and when that happens, Aleks’ cry simmers into a pretty little mewl.

“You’re… y-you’re my god, daddy,” Aleks gasps. “My life is nothing without you. I-I’m nothing without you.”

“What’s a god without an angel, huh?” Brett says as he lets go of Aleks’ neck and after taking a few moments to admire the mark he left, he looks back ahead into their reflections. “I would be nowhere near as powerful without you, my darling, my precious, my perfect, my  _ slutty  _ angel…”

“A-And a slutty angel does whatever their god asks of them,” Aleks says. “They - ah!”

Aleks is pulled up to stand straight when Brett clamps a hand over his throat, right under his chin, and Brett’s other hand soon moves to join its twin. Aleks’ fingers scramble to hold onto the edge of the counter and before he can say another word, Brett is starting on his thrusts - slow rolls of the hips that slam right back into Aleks’ heat, over and over again, and each slam has Aleks breathing out loud moans, over and over again, in pure pleasure.

All of this just because Aleks thought that wearing lingerie for Brett would be a nice thing to cheer him up? Holy shit, why didn’t he think of wearing this stuff before?

_ You know what, lingerie? You’re kind of worth it after all. _

“If you’re moaning like this already,” Brett whistles and glances down to watch his length slam back into Aleks before their reflection steals his attention again, “then I’d  _ love _ to see how you react when I actually get to fucking you like the slut you are because this is only the beginning for us, angel. You got a long night ahead of you…”


	27. Between The Spectral Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett had told Aleks once that he'd wear lingerie to make Aleks more comfortable, so Aleks takes him up on it. They both end up finding out some pretty interesting things about themselves.

“Yeah, you like that? Huh, baby?” Brett moans as he harshly slams back into Aleks, almost pulling out to the tip before he slams back in with the same amount of vigor as before, and then he continues with the quick slams.

“Yes, daddy, yes!” Aleks cries out, continues to do so with each pounding that's levied into his being, and he pushes back to meet Brett with each one of his thrusts just so he doesn’t have to go too long without all of Brett inside him. “I fucking love it, you’re so good-”

“Good? Uh uh, no, baby, I don’t like that.” Brett shakes his head and one of the hands that was previously holding onto Aleks’ hips in a crushing grip move up so that arm can wrap around Aleks’ neck. It presses into Aleks’ throat, cuts off his breathing, and Aleks immediately gasps for air.

When Brett looks back into their reflections, gazes right into Aleks’ eyes, dark with tinges of fear but twinkle with hints of arousal, a grin flashes over his face but instantly falls as his face contorts into one of steadfast determination as he proceeds with a much more brutal pace than before.

“Tell me I’m good now,” Brett growls against Aleks’ ear without losing eye contact. “I fucking **dare you.”**

“N-No, no, I didn’t-!” Aleks slams his eyes shut with a shout and Brett would scold him for it but at this point, he can’t really blame Aleks - he’ll give him some mercy. “Daddy, you’re perfect!” he cries out as his hands reach up to hold onto the big, strong arm that’s wrapped tightly around his neck. “Oh god, you’re so fucking perfect and you’re a god! You’re _ my _god!”

“There’s my slutty angel,” Brett purrs before he mouths a wet kiss over Aleks’ ear. He briefly takes his hand off Aleks’ hip to give him a harsh spank and after giving a low chuckle at Aleks’ cry, he returns the hand to its place in that same bruising grip. “Oh, you’re so fucking perfect at being my slut. Yeah, you were fucking born to be daddy’s slut, baby…”

The sex that Brett and Aleks have can be placed on a uniform spectrum. The spectrum starts casual and easy but can crescendo into rough and animalistic, like it is right now. Along this spectrum are spectral lines and their job is to identify specific atoms and molecules and in this case, these lines pinpoint where the molecules are, the ones that bring the both of them the most pleasure. Sometimes, all they crave is something easy and other times, they need to go as far as their bodies can take them.

Spectral lines are then divided into two types - bright emissions and dark absorptions.

Bright emissions, for the sake of these sexual games and outside their usual realm of outer space, are the indicators that emit pure pleasure. Sometimes their bodies will be going so far off the end that a bit of casualness in the madness is necessary, like the need to constantly be close, and other times when they’re going slow and taking their sweet time, they need some roughness to remind the other of their existence in this world - bruises and marks are made in the midst of sensuality.

Dark absorptions are the indicators that absorb the pleasure and keep it from growing. What might give them pleasure in one session might be completely unneeded in the other. Other times, Brett would like Aleks’ dominance and he’ll long to see that usual power bottom nature exude itself but right now, he just wants Aleks to lie there and take it like the perfect, slutty angel that he is.

… actually, Aleks is bent over right now. They should change that.

Brett pulls out unceremoniously and gives Aleks a harsh spank before Aleks can begin to loudly whine his protest. When Aleks opens his mouth to set forth on that, Brett spanks him again and keeps doing it until Aleks learns to keep his mouth shut. As soon as that lesson is grounded in, Brett pulls Aleks up to his feet by his blue hood and tosses him against the counter.

“Get up there,” Brett tells him on a warning edge. “Lay down and spread those pretty legs for me.”

“Yes, daddy, whatever you want.” Aleks nods quickly. “Just don’t stop fucking me like this, p-please.”

“What makes you think daddy would stop?” Brett chuckles. “I know I’m doing a good job fucking you into my perfect slut but we still got a little ways to go until we’re fully there.”

Aleks turns around to hop up on the counter but he frowns at Brett as he does so. He backs up against the mirror, spreads out his legs and bends them a little to fully accommodate Brett when he steps forward. “You don’t think I’m a perfect slut yet?”

“Aleks, don’t look into our dirty talk too much,” Brett assures in a mumble with a small, fond grin. He grabs Aleks’ hips to bring his ass a little off the edge of the counter and he pushes himself right up against Aleks’ entrance through his panties. “Yes, you’re the perfect slut. You gonna continue showing me why you are?” Brett raises his eyebrows when he looks into Aleks’ eyes. “Pull ‘em to the side for me, angel.”

Most of their dirty talk is said in the heat of the moment. Whatever enters their brain is quick to make it out of their mouths so there’s no rhyme or reason to many of these lines. There’s not really a filter for this dirty talk, and it’s kind of amazing there isn’t because Brett’s realized that he’s been in love with Aleks for almost a month now and it somehow hasn’t spilled out in the middle of sex.

He really doesn’t want to tell Aleks he’s in love with him while they’re in the middle of skin slapping sex. It’ll ruin the mood because Aleks isn’t in love with him, obviously, and it’ll just complicate things, but hey, maybe that immense fear works as a backup filter.

Brett only hopes that backup doesn’t fall apart one random night, though he could just take back telling Aleks he loves him like that… if he thought it’d do any good.

They know each other too well at this point. Aleks will know Brett means it, even if Brett says otherwise. Even then, Brett could never take back something like that. He’s not the type to completely lie about his feelings in order to preserve dignity and sanity.

Aleks wets his lips and they part open as he continues to stare into Brett’s eyes, drink upon his imminent approval. He runs his teeth along his bottom lip and breathes out a hot breath as he begins to move his hand down the length of his body, towards his ass so he can pull those panties to the side like he did earlier. The moment he’s exposed, Brett pushes back inside and Aleks’ eyes widen momentarily before they flutter shut, a small whine bubbling up from his throat to escape.

“Daddy, oh god…” Aleks breathes out in a moan. “You’re so big.” His hands slam down on the counter and slide up, fingers curling tightly against the edge to anchor himself while Brett sheathes the entirety of himself back in all of his tight, velvety heat, and right when Brett’s balls settle against him, Aleks gives the most relieved sounding moan that Brett thinks he’s ever heard.

“I’m never gonna get over how much you love my dick,” Brett says as he curls his hands around Aleks’ outer thighs, nails dragging against the fishnets of his stockings. “Really, just the fact that you do this kind of shit for me,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “That’s why you’re my perfect slut.”

“And I told you that I always will be,” Aleks moans as his eyes squint open to stare up at Brett. “Now fuck your perfect slut, daddy. Fuck me like you did before.”

“What if I wanted to fuck you harder than before?”

Aleks’ eyes blow open and after giving a quick nod, he says, “yes! Oh fuck, _ please, _give it all to me, don’t hold back.”

And he doesn’t.

When Brett goes back to fucking Aleks, it’s with every ounce of strength he can manage, and there’s a whole lot of it. He’s making use of all his muscles; strong hands and arms pull Aleks onto his cock with each thrust, the strength of his hips give Aleks that ruthless fuck he wants, every muscle in his body is coming in tandem for Aleks, his perfect slutty angel, to bring him the pleasure he so rightfully deserves for doing so much for him, for _ Brett. _

“Oh fuck!” Aleks shouts as he looks down between them, but his eyes slam back shut when he suddenly throws his head back against the mirror and there’s pain when he does so but it fails to register in the throes of pleasure. “Oh my god, don’t stop!”

Brett’s moans and groans are constant and loud, and much like Aleks, he too is getting lost in the pleasure. He wants to stay within the cosmic boundaries of reality and by dropping his head into Aleks’ neck, pressing his face into his sweaty warmth, he manages to keep himself from drifting into space.

“You’re taking daddy so good, fuck,” Brett groans. “Feel so good, so fucking tight, I don’t wanna stop.” He bares his teeth before he latches onto Aleks’ neck to suck a mark, then another, and another, and Aleks loudly moans his approval each time Brett asserts his ownership.

On the spectrum of pleasure, Aleks’ reactions are the pinnacle of achievement that Brett strives to reach and he does, he reaches it with each thrust. He considers his own pleasure secondary to Aleks’. An orgasm is still close on the horizon but Aleks is first priority, always is and always will, even if Brett is the one to reach the climax before him.

That, however, isn’t the case here.

Aleks’ teeth grit together, his chest completely tenses, and he stops breathing for a few moments until he suddenly gasps for air. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come, daddy,” he whines and wraps an arm around Brett’s neck to reel him in and keep him close. “K-Keep going, don’t stop, don’t ever stop, oh fuck,_ pleeease.” _ His other hand moves to start rubbing himself through his panties and a moan is released at the pleasurable friction the material provides.

Brett kisses his way to Aleks’ ear and whispers, “you gonna come all over yourself?”

“Y-Yes, I promise.”

“Will you come when I tell you to?”

“Uh huh, of course… I’m your good boy.”

“Then come for me,” Brett urges. “Come for me right now, good boy, make a pretty mess.”

He doesn’t have to see Aleks come to know that he’s had a mind blowing orgasm. The way Aleks clenches around him to pull him in, the way he moans and cries out his name, that’s all Brett needs. It’s just enough to tip Brett over the edge with Aleks too and the pleasure completely tears through him, takes control of his muscles until he’s fucking Aleks with jerky movements.

_ “Aleks,” _ Brett moans. “Fuck, _ fuck me, _ you’re so good, so fucking perfect, I can’t… fuck…”

His release is white hot against Aleks’ internal walls and Aleks sighs with relief at the comfort that burst of heat provides him. He loves it so much, in fact, that he moans for Brett to, “get a plug. I-I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You…” Brett blows out a breath and screws his eyes tighter shut. “You uh, you want me to get a plug? Right now?”

“It’ll keep me open until you’re ready again,” Aleks reasons. “Brett, you fucked me so good, you don’t even know how good that was.”

“Aleks, I’ll be ready to go in a few minutes,” Brett chuckles. “You know that better than anyone.”

“We can still have some other fun in between,” he argues. “And I want you to put on that lingerie for me.”

_ Awww, fuck. I forgot about that... _

“Right,” Brett breathes out as he brings up his head from Aleks’ neck. “Okay, I see what you mean now. Well, that plug should be in here somewhere…”

Brett’s not opposed to wearing the lingerie at all. He was the one who told Aleks he’d wear it for him if Aleks asked, but he just wonders if he’ll even look good in it. Of course Aleks can pull it off, just fucking look at him, but what if Brett pulls on stockings and his big thighs tear them? Or his panties rip open? Those clothes weren’t made for people like Brett in mind.

His worries are quite different to Aleks’; his insecurities of wearing lingerie, constantly thinking of new and creative dirty talk phrases to arouse Aleks, the fact that he’s in love with Aleks and needs to keep it somewhat to himself but at the same time still make it clear he wants _ more _and he thinks he’s been doing a good job with that with all the dates they’ve been on and the things he’s been saying that allude to more than friendly feelings but not so much that’ll make Aleks thinks he’s in love with him, blahblahblah, so on and so forth, etc etc.

On a pleasant sidenote, Brett wasn’t the one who asked to plug up Aleks this time! Wowie! Isn’t their sexual development _ exciting? _ Next thing you’ll know, Brett will be the one spreading his legs and asking to be filled!

Brett swears he remembers leaving the buttplug in the drawer after he cleaned it last time and sure enough, the plug is in there (not that cow print one he bought in Germany, but a solid black one). After retrieving it, Brett grabs the lube and he’s about to pop open the cap until he stares at the full black base, how it’s small at the top but tapers wider along the bottom. Sort of perfect for sucking on, if you ask him.

Squinting his eyes together in thought, Brett looks over to Aleks and holds up the plug in his eyesight. “I want you to get this wet for me,” he says.

Aleks groans and grimaces at the plug. “Dude, no, that’s-”

“It’s clean.” Brett raises an eyebrow. “Toootally clean. And you’d toootally make daddy happy.”

Aleks huffs and presses his lips together. He looks off to the side, tapping his fingers against the counter before he relents with a sigh and holds himself up. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Let me have it.”

Brett pushes the plug past Aleks’ lips and Aleks closes his eyes as he gently suckles. His tongue swipes out to curl around the base, licks at the underside of it, and he looks up into Brett’s eyes with a small moan before he pulls up to the top. There’s a trail of spit connecting Aleks’ lips to the toy when he pulls away until Aleks separates the liquid tether with the tip of his tongue.

“That better for you, daddy?” Aleks asks.

Brett praises, “so much fucking hotter too”, while he grabs his shaft to slowly pull out of Aleks, but the loss of him is quickly alleviated when he pushes the plug past the rim of Aleks’ hole. “There we go,” he says as he gives the base of the plug a few gentle smacks. “That belongs in there.”

“I’d say _you_ belong in _me,”_ Aleks says with a suggestive raise of the eyebrows. “Can you carry me into the bedroom?”

“You can’t do it yourself?”

“After the way you fucked me?” Aleks scoffs and brings his hand down to press at the plug base through his panties. “Hell no.”

Brett chuckles, “that’s fair.”

Brett easily carries Aleks into the bedroom after Aleks securely locks his limbs around him. After setting Aleks down on the bed, Brett rests his hands on Aleks’ knees and leans in to steal a peck to his lips before he turns to head to the dresser. “You gonna stay there and be good while I pick out a nice outfit for myself?”

Aleks smiles brightly as he sits up on his knees. “You’re really doing this, huh?”

“I told you I was.”

“I know but… I dunno, it means a lot to me,” Aleks explains. “You, going out of your way just to make me feel better about wearing…” Aleks swallows and looks down to his stockings as he raises a hand to pick at the lace trim. “You know,_ this.” _

Brett looks back to see Aleks playing with his fishnets, watches his other hand trail up to feel at the white satin of his panties. He catches Aleks slightly nibbling at his lip before he brings up a hand to gently bite at his thumbnail and Brett can piece together that Aleks still isn’t a big fan of this.

He’s not expecting Aleks to totally like it either. He understands why a guy like Aleks, who hates to be placed in feminine roles, would hate wearing this stuff, but Brett wants him to be more comfortable with it. It’ll help Aleks become more comfortable with himself in turn. Although Brett appreciates that Aleks can totally let down his guard with him, he should be able to do that with others.

Brett’s finger taps against his drawer as he turns his head back to peer within its contents - all the lingerie that he and Aleks had bought at Victoria’s Secret, as well as a few miscellaneous things online.

_ What can I wear that’ll scream “not just girls can pull this off”... _

His eyes survey the lace, satin, and cotton materials while his mind tries to construct the sexiest outfit. What colors would look best, what pieces would go well together, etc. and after a minute or two, Brett thinks he’s thought of something that would work.

It won’t be as hot as what Aleks is wearing. Nothing will ever be hotter than that (except maybe a schoolgirl outfit, but in due time!)

“You mind if I get dressed by myself?” Brett asks.

“I can’t watch you?”

“You could, but I think the surprise of seeing me in this will be sexier, don’t you?”

Aleks shrugs and twirls the white string of his hoodie. “Yeah, I guess. I’ll see ya in a bit then.”

So Brett takes his things to go change in the bathroom and after closing the door, he sets forth on getting dressed. While he hasn’t worn any of this before, he’s not a total idiot. He’s seen it on girls before, he’s seen a few of these on Aleks just now, the only daunting thing about it is the fact that he’s never worn it himself.

When Brett fully gets dressed, he thinks he should stick to not wearing it.

A red lacy bralette covers his pecs and his panties are of the same color and material, though they have black lace panels along the sides, as well as a pretty black bow in the middle. Black fishnet stockings adorn his legs and black garter straps connect that to a red garter belt with black lace trim. Admittedly, the red looks good against his skin but that’s… pretty much it. Otherwise, Brett thinks he looks silly.

Brett blows out a breath, then frowns at his reflection.

_ Why can’t I be pretty like Aleks? _

No, he can’t think that! The whole point of this is to show Aleks that big, strong guys like him can wear lingerie too! Whether they go a bit more casual like Aleks did or go all the way like Brett did, anybody can pull it off! It’s not just a thing for girls and it shouldn’t be, and Brett truly believes that, but god damn, do they look better than he does.

There’s no time to worry about it though, not when Aleks is still worrying out there. Those worries will be squandered once they continue their fun with each other and Brett is actually excited to see how that goes. Does he like, continue being dominant or should he go more submissive? Should they even play up roles at all?

Brett lays a hand on the door knob and his panties and stockings are barely inside his field of vision. He swallows back those worries and takes a few deep breaths, even gently smacks his own cheek a few times to get that confidence flowing.

“You are a _ man,” _ Brett tells himself. “You’re a hunky man in lingerie and that’s cool! Now go out there and-”

“Brett, I can hear you.”

With an eye roll, Brett decides to open the door with absolutely no fanfare. “Okay, here I am, big bad Brett, ready to-”

“Dude, holy shit, you look fucking good!” 

Brett blinks a few times and the flattery rising within him pulls up the corner of his lips into a smile. “You really think so?” he asks. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Brett, you’re so _ pretty, _ oh my god,” Aleks chuckles and presses his hands together before he holds them up in front of his face, and it also does the job in somewhat hiding his big smile. “Duuude, I wasn’t expecting this. Fuck.”

There’s no sense in drumming up a confident bravado for himself when Aleks has just handed it to him on a silver platter. It’s not a big declaration of Brett’s beauty but it’s his genuine surprise and awe that lifts Brett’s spirits totally. He still doesn’t think he looks too good in it but if Aleks thinks he’s pretty, then who gives a fuck?

Brett sort of wants to show Aleks how much he appreciates the stroke to his ego, in different ways than he did earlier. There’s a lot of ways to show you love somebody than with your big dick, after all.

“So now you know how I feel when I saw you in that,” Brett points out as he saunters his way to the edge of the bed. “Still can’t get over how sexy you look.”

No words are enough to explain how attractive Brett finds Aleks in this outfit. He’s still as taken aback as he was earlier but he’s managed to settle that down enough to be the dominant man that Aleks wants him to be, the man that turns Aleks on more than anything or anyone else. 

Which isn’t to say that he wouldn’t turn Aleks on just being himself but he knows that Aleks definitely goes crazy for the big bad version of him… Brett wonders what can be said if he decided to go big _ bitch. _

“Yeah, uh, I get why you’re into this shit now,” Aleks mentions.

“Oh?” Brett grins and places his hands on the bed as he crawls on top. “I turn you on wearing this?”

Aleks breathes out a chuckle and rubs the nape of his neck. “Y-Yeah, a whole lot.” He smacks his lips together, looks down to Brett’s mouth, and beckons him closer with a finger.

Brett tilts his head and looks up at Aleks with lidded brown eyes as he kisses the tip of his finger. His eyes then lid shut and afterwards, he sucks Aleks’ finger into his mouth with a soft moan, drags his nails along the comforter to keep himself steady.

“Mmm, fuck, you’re so hot,” Aleks breathes out as he hunches forward, a hand moving to cup Brett’s cheek. “Come up here.”

Brett lets go of Aleks’ finger and teases, “you want a kiss, daddy?”

Aleks closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Dude, that’s gonna do things to me if you call me that.”

“Maybe that’s the point, _ daddy.” _

“You’re a fucking tease.”

“I get that from you, angel.” Brett winks and his gaze dips to Aleks’ lips. “You gonna kiss me or what?” he asks as he crawls up close.

After Aleks brings up his other hand to successfully frame Brett’s face, to slightly pull his head up, he leans down to seal their lips together in a rather sensual kiss… and there’s a flare up of dominance from one side in particular.

Brett sighs through his nose, tilts his head, and pokes his tongue into Aleks’ mouth but it quickly retreats when Aleks’ tongue brutishly bumps against it. Now that Brett’s tongue has surrendered, Aleks can continue with his determined exploration through Brett’s willful mouth. His hands press harder on Brett’s cheeks and fingers curl tighter to keep Brett’s head locked in place and Brett moans at their seamless shift in roles.

He was expecting to dominate Aleks the whole night, because that’s how it usually goes. Brett is the established dominant and Aleks is the established submissive, but he isn’t at all opposed to giving some of that control to Aleks. If Aleks wants it for this particular moment only, then Brett will give but if it’s for the whole night, Brett will happily give there too, perhaps moreso.

_ Whatever my angel wants. _

Aleks presses in hard and takes his hands off Brett’s face to plant them firmly on the bed. After settling back on his knees, to be on all fours like Brett is, he slides his tongue out from Brett’s mouth and kittenishly licks at Brett’s lips for a few moments before leaving a parting kiss.

Brett rolls his lips back to savor Aleks’ taste and with a small hum, he opens his eyes to look into Aleks’. Aleks smiles at Brett and loosens the grip he has on the bed to move his hands enough where his fingertips ever so slightly bump against Brett’s and then he closes his eyes once more, Brett does too, and Brett nuzzles his nose back and forth against Aleks’ when Aleks initiates the action.

He isn’t really sure what’s happening here, doesn’t know what role he’s supposed to be playing, but he was greatly enjoying that small bout of submission and there’s a nagging thought in Brett’s mind that Aleks enjoyed the surge of dominance. If Aleks wants to keep that up, then Brett will gladly encourage him.

Besides, it’s the least he can do if Aleks is going out of his way to wear _this_ for him.

Aleks pecks Brett right on the tip of his nose before he pulls his head away to look into Brett’s eyes. “Let’s just have fun,” he says quietly. “We have the whole night with each other and then some. We’re not doing anything tomorrow either so let’s just…” Aleks shrugs. “Let’s take advantage of it.”

“You know, I actually wouldn’t mind letting you have some of that control for now,” Brett hints as he pulls himself up to sit on his knees, reaches within his panties to adjust himself. “I mean, I don’t want you to fuck me, at least not right now-”

“I know what you mean,” Aleks chuckles, mirrors Brett’s stance, and allows himself to openly check Brett’s outfit. “And I know you’re still working up to that. How are you doing on that front, by the way?”

Brett can feel Aleks’ wandering gaze and he self consciously reaches down to smooth out the tops of his stockings. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot more, for sure,” he admits. “Especially with uh, all the stress lately,” he chuckles and bites at his lips. “And uh… I’ve sort of been worried more about… certain things, so just lying there and letting you take the reins for once sounds incredibly appealing.”

Aleks furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head. “What things are you worrying about?”

_ Hmmm, that I’ve been overthinking how you feel and you really don’t like me that way after all, hahaha, but it’s nooothing. _

“It’s just work.” Brett shrugs at Aleks before he hunches down to crawl up to the headboard. “It’s alllllways work, dude.”

It’s not a complete lie. Brett really has been stressed about work more than usual and it has nothing to do with Asher this time!

Sometimes in a job, there are rough patches. It’s not all fun and games and Brett considers this his rough patch. He knows that it’s something he just has to weather through but it still doesn’t change his anxiety.

It’s a lot more complicated to manage a YouTube channel than one might think. Brett has to constantly keep up with the current trends to increase viewing potential and maintain viewer interest and that’s ever changing. What’s cool one month might be boring in the next, what’s totally fine on one occasion will suddenly turn problematic in the blink of an eye, and it’s sort of a guessing game.

There’s no rulebook for managing a YouTube channel, there’s no degree for it, and there’s not really a class that tells you how it should go. It’s purely something Brett has learned to do based on his experience throughout the years and though he’s an industry veteran, he still feels like an imposter. It’s like any moment, the curtains will draw up and reveal that he has no idea what he’s doing at all and everybody and their dog will laugh at him and tell him he’s doing a shit job and Brett will get really defensive about it before he secludes himself to wallow in his own insecurity.

Brett’s 34 years old but he still feels like that dorky college kid that had to take days off classes just to deal with anxiety attacks. He knows he’s came a long way but every so often, the looming insecurities will suddenly drown him.

“Brett,” Aleks whines, “the whole point of me dressing up was to take your mind off work.” He frowns at Brett and crawls up to straddle one of his legs before he plops down beside him. “Bro, I’m gonna be pissed if I wore this for nothing.

Brett scoffs, “you won’t be pissed. You wear this because you care and you know it.” He looks over to Aleks with a small smile and crosses his arms under his head.

Aleks rolls his eyes and looks to Brett’s chest as his hand moves to trail along the lacy bralette hem. “I do,” he says, “but I have a reputation to maintain. I gotta be that super cool dude who like, doesn’t wear girly shit.”

“Aleks, this is the hottest you’ve ever been,” Brett sighs and takes an arm away so he can bring that hand down to run over Aleks’ fishnets, fingers slightly dipping through the open threads.

_ Jesus, this really was made for him. _

“Because I’m dressed all girly and pretty, right?”

“Nooo, stop,” Brett whines._ “No, _ it’s not girly and neither are you, _ yes, _ you do look very pretty but this is the hottest because you’re allowing yourself to just… let go with me.” He shrugs, trails his hand up to cup a firm handful of Aleks’ ass. “That’s the sexiest thing about this whole, well, thing.”

This time when Brett looks to Aleks, Aleks looks noticeably less put off than he was earlier when he was biting at his nails and scrutinizing his outfit. His face is positively beaming, his smile is genuine and the corners of his lips pull up enough where his eyes squint in that cute way Brett likes and the light radiating from him overcasts Brett in an equally beatific haze.

“One more thing,” Brett adds with a raise of the eyebrows as he leans in. “You look so cute right now,” he murmurs before kissing the tip of Aleks’ nose.

Aleks’ nose wrinkles and his hand clutches onto Brett’s bralette strap before he leans forward to kiss Brett on the lips. “You look pretty damn cute yourself,” he tells him before he fully sits up on the bed. “And you can let go with me too, daddy. Now let me take care of you-”

“You can call me Brett,” Brett tells him. “And I’ll call you Aleks. I want you to be yourself right now.”

Aleks huffs through his nose and briefly glances at his own outfit before he moves to straddle Brett’s hips. “A bit hard to do in this but after that cool ego stroke, I think I can manage.”

Brett’s eyebrows raise with his interest when Aleks suddenly reaches forward to pin his wrists beside his head. “Ooh, now what exactly are you - oh fuck,” he groans and lulls his head back with closed eyes when Aleks latches onto his neck. “Aleks…”

Aleks glances to Brett at the name and with a smirk, he returns his attention to the task at hand. While his mouth ravages Brett’s neck with attention, in the same manner Brett did onto him earlier, his body swivels until their crotches are neatly pressed together and Brett gives a moan when Aleks proceeds to grind back and forth against him.

To have his neck marked all over by Aleks is a bright emission on Brett’s spectrum of approval. It reminds Brett that he is Aleks’, much like Aleks is his - _ equals. _

After leaving a good amount of marks on Brett’s neck, Aleks continues with his worship. His hands drag down Brett’s arms as he kisses down Brett’s hairy chest and one of them slip underneath the bralette, a thumb rubbing back and forth over his nipple. Aleks gives attention to the other bud with his tongue, all while he keeps rolling his hips against Brett’s through the satin and lace material of their panties.

Brett bites back a moan and briefly arches his chest into Aleks’ mouth. He drops his head to watch Aleks and he finally lets go of that moan when Aleks meets his gaze. Brett rolls his lips back, exhales a hot breath, and his pupils dart all around Aleks’ face until Aleks gives him a wink, one that confirms that they have reached a silent understanding.

_ You’re in charge right now. _

Aleks suckles on Brett’s nipple for a minute or so more and then he looks over to his working hand, watches his finger join his thumb in gently toying with the nipple back and forth. “You’re so manly,” Aleks says. “Like, you’re really everything a man should be so to see you in something like this...” Aleks sits up straight and runs the both of his hands over Brett’s lacy bralette, all the way down to his stomach and slip over his garter belt. “Shit, it’s driving me a little crazy.”

“Yeah?” Brett breathes out. “What do you wanna do?”

Aleks admits, “so many things”, while he moves his head back down to Brett’s torso. His kisses are a downward line but his words continue in the midst. “I know you got a hot body but it’s so fucking pretty too, like, I don’t think other people realize that,” he breathes out a chuckle as his hands move to grip the sides of Brett’s panties, which hug his curvy hips. “And I can’t wait to make you and this pretty body mine, the way you make me_ yours.” _

“Fuck, I’m already yours,” Brett moans and spreads his legs to better accommodate Aleks when he begins to sink between them. “Everything of mine is yours, Aleks.”

“I know you’re mine, but I still wanna show you. Wanna remind you.” Aleks peers up at Brett with darkened eyes, then sticks out his tongue to teasingly trail it up his covered erection. “You know how good you make me feel? How you always give me the best fucks of my life?”

“Yes, y-yes.” Brett nods. “I love making you feel good. It’s all I wanna do for you.”

“I know, and I love it,” Aleks tells him. His tongue presses against Brett and runs down his length, over the seam of his balls, and it gives a quick swipe along the crack of his ass before he pauses once more. “And I wanna give you the same pleasure you give me, make you react the way I do.”

Brett whines at the brief loss of Aleks’ warm tongue and his eyes briefly crinkle shut in irritation before he gives Aleks a pleading look. “Well, how do I make you react?” Brett goads. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to scream for me,” Aleks says lowly. “I want you to squirm and grab at anything you can. Wanna know what I really plan to do to you?”

“Please,” Brett moans. “Give it to me, Aleks.”

“I wanna destroy everything about you,” Aleks groans and fully sits up in between Brett’s legs as he pushes under his knees. “And then I’m gonna build you back up again, so you’re _ really _ mine, the same way you did to me.”

Jesus christ, if Brett had any idea he and Aleks would be doing something like _this_ tonight, he’d absolutely let Aleks fuck him right now. The dominance comes naturally to him and the obvious comfort in this role excellently translates into a confidence that heightens Aleks’ sex appeal.

Now Brett gets it, why Aleks will so willingly spread his legs and act like a slut based mostly on words because Brett is sort of slipping into that mindset right now because of it. All he wants is to serve Aleks and be nothing but a toy for pleasure, and the only thing that saves Brett from tripping right on his face into this mindset is… it’s… er… well… nothing, really.

Nothing at all is there to save Brett right now.

“Turn me into your toy, daddy,” Brett pleads. “Wreck me and-”

“Hold on, what?”

“Huh?” Brett breathes out as he looks up to Aleks and at first, he’s confused by why Aleks looks so surprised, maybe even a little confused himself. “What’s up? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Dude.” Aleks blinks a few times. “You just called me daddy. Like, legit, no memes.”

_ I didn’t call him… oh. Ohhh. I did call him… oh... _

Brett swallows and looks off to the side with a bit of a nervous chuckle. “Uh. Well, see, you were… uh.” He raises his eyebrows and looks over to the alarm clock and woah, look at the time! “Huh, is it almost 9 PM?”

“Brett, you just-”

“Okay, I know!” Brett whines and hides his face in his hands. “Look, you were just doing things and saying things, you were saying_ hot things, _ and I dunno, it just came out sort of on its own? I-”

“Hey, I’m cool with it!” Aleks assures as he reaches for Brett’s wrists. “Dude, holy shit, I’m so fucking cool with it,” he chuckles. “Hell yeah, I wanna be your daddy. It just like, caught me off guard because… that’s like, _ your _ name.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t mind.” Brett blows out a breath and looks up to the ceiling. “I guess I’m just embarrassed because, you know, obviously I’ve never done that with anybody. _ Said _ that to anybody.”

Even with girls, Brett never got this submissive with them. This is like, foreplay to him getting fucked and not the other way around. It’s all new to him and new territory is scary, even if he’s trekking through it with an angel.

“Yeah, buddy, we’re both doing a bunch of new things with each other tonight.”

Brett snorts and raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Very fair,” he mumbles.

Thankfully, this angel knows how to make it all better with a few words. For somebody who doesn’t think about what they say a lot, Aleks really knows how to say shit that can sap away most of Brett’s worries and doubts.

“Can you call me that again?” Aleks asks with a bright smile. “Pleeease?”

Brett rolls his eyes and after huffing a chuckle through his nose, he manages to say in an exaggeratedly sexy tone, “make me yours, daddy~”

“Only on one condition.” Aleks’ bright smile shifts into a deviant smirk. “You gotta call me daddy one more time.”

“Okay, don’t milk this or I’m gonna be daddy- oh, fuck, f-fuck, daddy,” Brett whines and rests the both of his hands by the side of his head when Aleks clamps a hand around his throat.

“Behave for daddy,” Aleks tells him. “Lie there like a good boy and let daddy have his fun with you. And, if you’re_ real nice, _ daddy will ride that big cock of yours.” He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head, continues to look at Brett with a look in his eyes that silently dares Brett to challenge him. “How does that sound? Wanna be good now?”

Woah there, he can make that quick shift into daddy mode just like Brett can too! Brett doesn’t know if that’s like, something Aleks has always been able to do or if he learned that from him but either way, it’s hot as fucking hell. It’s not unbelievable at all to Brett, that somebody as pretty as Aleks, all dressed up in lingerie, can dominate him and be a daddy.

Aleks is living proof that looks can be deceiving and Brett is glad that the supposed girly nature of the lingerie doesn’t seem to affect him anymore. If it was, Aleks wouldn’t be acting like this.

Brett quickly nods and whines, “I’ll be good, daddy.”

“Good boy,” Aleks purrs. “Hold back your legs for me, daddy wants to get a good look at that hole…”

The sex and all the sexual games they’ve been partaking in tonight have been all over the place on the spectrum. It’s ranged from rough and animalistic, to casual and easy, but now they’ve gone back to the start, only the spectral lines have completely changed positions. Now, the utmost pleasure is found in Aleks taking charge and playing with Brett much like the manner Brett usually takes with him.

Aleks might not be able to take Brett’s body as far as Brett wants tonight, it’s a damn shame, but now the anticipation of being fucked by Aleks has reached an all time high. Until it happens, it’s all Brett will be thinking about - the eventual drag of Aleks’ long length in and out of his much tighter ass, Aleks’ hot breaths and hotter moans against his lips as he tries to maintain a consistent rhythm for their sake, and even the feeling of Aleks filling him up, Brett wants it all...

… just as long as he doesn’t have to wear lingerie during it. At least, not for his very first time, whenever that happens.

Hey, when _ is _ that going to happen, anyways?


	28. Shadows In The Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks and Brett hold hands as they take a romantic walk under the moonlight on the beach and it's a tiny bit overwhelming - in a good way, because it always is the good way with them.

**October 23rd, 2017**

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks over to Aleks when Aleks squeezes his hand. “What’s up?” he asks.

“Better day at work?” Aleks asks. “Everything fine?”

Brett smiles and leans over to kiss Aleks on the cheek before assuring, “yeah, everything’s better now. Thanks for asking.”

Are things still stressful like before? Yeah, but that’s typical of their job industry. Things are back to normal for Brett and he purely attributes that mood shift to Aleks and his unique form of hospitality performed over the weekend.

_ I wonder when I’m going to see him in that again... _

Mishka starts barking at a dog from up the path and tries to run to meet them but Aleks tugs back on her collar before any progress can be made.

“Hey, let’s relax!” Aleks tells her. “Settle down there, pardner!”

Brett looks to Aleks from Mishka with a chuckle. “Yeah, I know it’s exciting to see another one just like you but don’t go too crazy.”

After work, Brett and Aleks decided that a nice walk through the park would do the both of them some good. The relatively fresher air of Echo Park is much needed after being in a crazy warehouse and when the sun is still out, brightly shining, it’d be a crime not to take some advantage of it.

The park isn’t running rampant with people but it’s not deserted either. Everybody is sort of scattered around; sitting on benches, walking the path, or heading out into the nearby parking lot, which is steadily becoming more crowded. Brett can’t see the reason for that when he’s still some ways away but he’s quite curious as to what’s happening and when he and Aleks get closer, Brett sees some tables set up around what looks to be a food truck.

Brett looks to Aleks and catches his fixated gaze, follows it over to the truck to see ice cream cones and sundaes being handed out. With how hot it is right now, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get a cool treat.

He nudges Aleks’ shoulder and casually asks, “hey, angel, do you want anything from the food trucks?”

Aleks snaps his head to look at Brett and blinks a few times in wonderment over the name, commonly said in private but barely said in public with serious intonations. Brett doesn’t seem to notice though so Aleks won’t point it out. What reason is there?

With a sweet smile, Aleks’ shoulders relax and he even sidles up closer to Brett as he replies, “yeah, that’d be nice. You gonna get anything?”

“With how hot it is? Absolutely,” Brett chuckles.

“You know, it’s supposed to be a high of 101 tomorrow. It’d be the perfect time to go back to the beach.”

“I wouldn’t say no to that.”

“So it’s a date?”

“Sounds like it, angel.”

And it’s not like Brett doesn’t notice what he just called Aleks, in public. He’s making a conscious effort in saying the name, to introduce it in a public context. It’s a pet name like “baby” or “babe” and would fit right at home in a relationship setting, which is exactly what Brett is trying to show Aleks.

This game of make believe was fun for awhile but it’s time they make some progress. No longer should they keep some of the things they do to the privacy of their bedroom. Some of it deserves to see the outside.

Aleks leans over to kiss Brett on the cheek and lets go of their hands to reach into his pocket. “Looking forward to it, daddy,” he says quietly as he takes out his wallet to hand to Brett.

Brett looks down to Aleks’ wallet and furrows his eyebrows. “Hey, it’s cool, I’ll pay.”

“Nope, I’m paying,” Aleks tells him.

“But I-”

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.” Aleks raises a pointed eyebrow and grins at Brett before he nods his head towards the truck. “Go get us ice cream. Me and Mishka will wait here for you.”

Brett takes the wallet with trepidation and continues to look down at it. After giving an exaggerated sigh and an eye roll, he says “oookay”, and proceeds to make his way to the truck. As he treads through the grass and onto the pavement, he looks back to Aleks with a smile to show he really doesn’t mind and Aleks gives him a cute little wave to show that he gets it.

There’s a bit of a line and the soccer mom up front is only in the middle of reciting her order so Brett decides to make good use of his time by staring at Aleks. He adjusts the bill of his hat and crosses his arms over his chest as he averts his gaze back to the other man and the smile returns to his face when Aleks hunches over the bench to kiss Mishka right on her little doggy nose.

Brett breathes in deeply before exhaling somewhat of a dreamy sigh.

_ He’s so cuuuuute. Can he just date me already? _

Mishka is pretty adorable herself but her owner commands all of Brett’s attention without even meaning to do so. At one point in Brett’s life, Aleks wasn’t what he thought about every second of every day but in that time, Brett felt lost, like things still weren’t adding up.

And when things weren’t adding up, Brett began subtracting.

After subtracting the facets of his life that could possibly make him feel like this, Aleks was the only entity left standing. Through all the madness over the years, of Brett’s personal life and career, Aleks was always the bright spot, before and after Brett realized he was into men. The knowledge of this went along with much needed solace but until Brett figured out his feelings for Aleks and how deep they really went, there was still some uncertainty.

The uncertainty still lingers. That’s just a normal facet of life that, unfortunately, everybody has to deal with, but Aleks makes it tolerable.

Even though Aleks is part of the uncertainty, Brett doesn’t want it any other way. The possibility that Aleks could really be his and forever give him unmitigated happiness is something that Brett can not and _ will not _ cast aside.

Aleks _ will _ be his. It’s no longer a question of _ ”will we?” _ but a question of _ “how soon will we?” _

* * *

**October 24th, 2017**

They had just finished filming the ending scene to the advertisement for their Patreon, one of the many things that will be filmed today alongside all the Jackbox games they have planned later. The ending scene for this video is of particular interest to Aleks for two reasons; he wrote the script for it and it also involves a shirtless Brett in the pool.

Aleks hands off the microphone to Trevor so he can fix his hair under his hat and he makes the mistake of looking to Brett as he does so.

His life is now a Baywatch episode.

Brett stands up and steps out of the pool in slow motion and Aleks can visibly see the water droplets that trail over the natural dips in his muscles. The sun is harsh and radiant, bakes the cement of their parking lot and slightly burns their skin but Aleks knows that Brett is the reason he’s so hot right now.

The rays of sunlight reflect off the water coating Brett’s body, practically naked if it weren’t for those swim trunks but they’re so short and it puts Brett’s thick thighs on display, so thick that they can tear through the fabric of some fishnet stockings and Aleks knows that from experience, _ fuck, he was so hot in those. _

Brett crosses his arms behind his head to stretch and when he looks down to Aleks, catches his wandering gaze, he smirks and with a wink, he asks, “you like what you see?”

Aleks sets his hat backwards on his head again as he gives Brett another once over, much more openly than before. “Like it a lot,” he answers with a grin. “Do a little twirl for me.”

“You want a little show?” Brett raises an eyebrow and drops his arms to hold them out before he slowly begins to spin on the tip of his toes. “This will cost you though, just so you know.”

“Baby, don’t even worry about that.”

Trevor looks back and forth between the two and sighs heavily through his nose.

_ We need an HR department. _

“Uh, Aleks,” Trevor says, “did you just want an excuse to see Brett shirtless?” he asks as he begins to make his way back inside the warehouse. “Is that why you wrote this into your script?”

Well that’s just rude. Why would Aleks need an excuse to see Brett shirtless when Brett will take off his shirt anytime Aleks wants him too? Uh, not that… Trevor can know that. Not that anyone can know that, actually.

“Actually,” Brett interjects for Aleks, “it was my idea. But thank you for giving me a peek into the future of what the Reddit comments for this video will look like.”

_ At least they’re better than the fat jokes. _

Life would be so much more simple if they didn’t have to hide what they’re doing with each other.

Aleks wishes that he could openly talk about how hot Brett is without somebody questioning their friendship. Admittedly, they’d have good reason to do so - no way they’re just friends now, but it’s hard having to be totally platonic and friendly with Brett when over half the time, Aleks is allowed to act like they’re more.

_ Act like they’re more, _ christ, that’s not even it either.

Aleks isn’t acting like they’re more because they_ are _more.

What’s really happening is that Aleks is _ acting _ like they’re just friends - and it’s exhausting.

“Okay, can we go back inside?” Brett chuckles and glances back to Aleks before he turns to make his way there. “It’s too hot out here. I almost don’t wanna put my clothes back on because of how hot it is.”

As Aleks does a weird half jog, half walk to catch up with Brett, he says, “I’m not gonna mind if you wanna play Jackbox shirtless.”

“Trust me, I know you won’t.”

“You’re right though, it’s a lot hotter than it was yesterday.” Aleks blows out a breath when the cool air of the warehouse hits him and he looks back to their blazing hot parking lot. “At least we’re still going to the beach-”

“ASHMAN!” Brett exclaims. “WHAT’RE YOU WORKING ON?”

_ Oh no. _

Aleks turns to see Asher grabbing water from the fridge, a very normal thing to do when it’s 101 degrees outside. It’s nothing important but to Brett, who thinks Asher is the probable incarnate of Satan himself, this is a riveting development.

Asher quickly screws the lid back on the water and holds it close to his chest. “I was just taking a small break to grab a water,” he answers. “Super hot, you know?”

“Be nice,” Aleks murmurs lowly into his ear. “We can’t have fun tonight if you’re not nice.”

A smile even brighter than the sun plasters itself onto Brett’s face and he even gives Asher a cool thumbs up. “Sweet, dude!” he praises as he walks to the lobby door. “Keep at it!”

… but that bright smile falls once Brett makes it within the safe comforts of the lobby.

As long as he isn’t doing that in front of Asher, it’s fine. Kind of.

Brett’s a nice guy… seriously, he is! He’s really nice, like, so nice sometimes that Aleks thinks he needs to ease up but when it comes to Asher… Aleks still isn’t exactly sure why Brett regards him with such disdain. They have incredibly clashing personalities, does that have anything to do with it?

His disdain for Asher gets on Aleks’ nerves but he’s getting a lot better at holding it in. It means a lot to Aleks that Brett is at least trying for his sake.

“Like talking to an evil snail,” Brett mumbles.

“You stole that from The Office,” Aleks says. “Be more original.”

_ “Be more original,” _ Brett mocks as they step into his office. _ “I’m Aleks-” _

**“Brett,”** Aleks says firmly. “I can still cancel our date-”

“Take me baaack!” Brett whines and immediately turns around to wrap his arms around Aleks in a hug. “I’m sorry, daddy.”

Aleks grins at the petname and looks off to the side to waggle his eyebrows at an imaginary camera, like he’s in The Office (because he’s sooo original). “I’ll take it, angel,” he says as he pulls away. “So I guess our beach date is back on for tonight-”

“Tonight?” Brett raises his eyebrows. “Not right after work, where the sun will be shining? And it’ll be super duper beautiful?”

Aleks shrugs and leans against the back of Brett’s desk. “There won’t be too many people,” he reasons. “You and I can just like, walk the beach and talk and take it easy. And it’ll still be beautiful, you got the moon and the stars. I actually kinda prefer that over the sun.”

There’s something about the moon and stars that just speak to Aleks. He feels connected with them in a weirdly spiritual way, like he can just relate to them more. The sun is out there and in your face but the moon and stars are more subtle, more calming.

With a hum, Brett looks up to the ceiling and proceeds to make his way behind his desk. “Alright, that sounds pretty romantic,” he concurs before sitting down. “Aleksandr, were you _ trying _ to make this a super romantic date from the start?”

He follows Brett behind his desk with a grin and says, “that’s the idea, baby.”

A smile lifts up the corner of Brett’s lips and he ducks his head to look at the keyboard. “Did you call me baby?” he asks softly. “Again?”

Aleks rolls his lips back between his teeth and looks off to the side, like he’s now unsure of himself. “You… call me that sometimes,” he says. “And angel. I like it when you call me those things-”

“N-No, I do too!” Brett assures as he quickly looks up to Aleks. “It’s just uh… it uh, makes us sound like a couple.”

_ Fuck! It totally does make us sound like a couple!! _

And like, Aleks wants them to be a couple but he doesn’t wanna be so out there and in Brett’s face about it! He wants to be more subtle about it, more calming!

Isn’t there some way he can ask Brett to date him without actually asking him? Or it can be this unspoken thing between… what the hell, it’s already unspoken! So why doesn’t Aleks just straight up ask him?

The answer is simple. Asking people you like to date you is fucking scary. No amount of reassurance or concrete knowledge is going to change that. It’s an irrational fear that logically makes no sense, yet many people experience it - people like Aleks.

Aleks holds his arms to himself, running his hands up and down them slowly. “Do you mind that?” he asks. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to like, make you uncomfortable-”

“Nooo, angel, I don’t mind!” Brett frowns and holds out his hands. “Come here.”

With a small pout, Aleks reaches to grab Brett’s hands and allows Brett to pull him a smidge closer, in between his legs. His pout shifts into a much more positive grin when Brett kisses the tip of his nose and he looks up into Brett’s eyes with good expectations.

“It’s cute,” Brett tells him with a smile of his own. “Do _ you _ mind that it makes us sound like that?”

Aleks shakes his head.

_ Not at all. _

“Then don’t worry about it,” Brett chuckles. “You and I, we’re gonna go out tonight, we’re gonna walk the beach, maaaybe hold hands like we are right now, and it’s gonna be real nice. Okay?”

Aleks nods.

_ I completely trust you. _

Brett huffs a breath through his nose and leans in to leave a lingering kiss to Aleks’ cheek, one that saps away all of Aleks’ negative energy. Aleks’ smile even grows wider and by the time Brett pulls away, he’s so lightheaded that his head is practically lost in the clouds above. It takes Brett’s voice to pull him back into reality - the only man to make him feel like he’s on two completely different planets at the same time.

“I’m gonna get dressed, okay? I’ll meet up with you on the couch to film the Jackbox stuff.”

“I’ll see ya soon then, babe.”

Brett winks at Aleks and says, “right back at you, babe.”

Aleks ducks his head in the same manner Brett did just a minute prior before making his way to the door. As he turns the knob to open the door, a strange force suddenly takes ahold of Aleks and suddenly, he exclaims, “wait, before I go!”

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks to Aleks as he hops off from his chair. “What’s up?”

He looks back to Brett and just like that, he forgets what he was going to tell him.

It was probably something important. Perhaps it was something his subconscious has been nagging at him to say for a few months now but whatever those words were, they become lost in the tides of time.

It’s not hard for Aleks to come up with nice things to tell Brett, however.

After a few seconds, he smiles at Brett and says, “I’m uh, I’m really glad we’re doing this. Like, this thing with each other, you know? You…” He bites his lip and taps his fingers against the doorknob in further thought before telling Brett, very truthfully, “you just make me really happy.”

It wasn’t quite what Aleks was going to tell Brett at first, but he has a feeling he’ll remember exactly what it was before the end of the night.

There’s like, 90% certainty on that.

* * *

Aleks was right. The beach is especially beautiful at night.

The skies are black. That’s typical of the night, but the moonlight and the twinkles from the stars bring out the undertones of calm blues within. The calmness of these blues pull the tranquil feelings of the roaring ocean tides right to the surface and it sets the mood for this lovely nighttime date.

Aleks looks down to watch his and Brett’s bare feet step through the warm sand. The sand is coarse in between his toes but Brett’s fingers are soft in between his own. It’s not the calm blues that put Aleks at ease, but rather Brett’s presence. Brett is the one that allows Aleks to notice these calm blues and all the little nuances that the world has to offer.

He calls Aleks an angel, and Aleks thinks he is too, but sometimes, he thinks Brett is his god.

Aleks looks over to his god and the blue reflects off his face, the moonlight casts its spotlight on him and forces him into the center of Aleks’ attention. Brett is looking down to their feet too, with the smallest of smiles on his faces but Aleks has been around Brett long enough to know that he’s thinking deep about something - something that makes him happy.

He could ask Brett what that is.

He could also let Brett enjoy that moment to himself, like Aleks isn’t staring longingly at him and hoping they can be more one day.

_ I’ll do that. _

With a smile of his own, Aleks looks off to the full moon above the ocean and lets out an almost dreamy sigh. “I’m glad we decided to come out here tonight,” Aleks says. “Instead of like, during the day.”

“You know what, I am too.” Brett looks up and ahead of him. “It’s been really nice, just lying on the beach and walking it with you.”

“We should think about taking a dip into the ocean soon.” Aleks drops his gaze to the high rising shore. “Wouldn’t really uh, mind getting wet with you, you know what I’m sayin’ ?”

Brett snorts and gives Aleks a weird look before he too looks to the shore. “You’re fucking goofy,” he mumbles. “... but I’m not at all opposed to that. You should take off your tank first though, show some skin while you’re at it.”

“I dunno, dude, it’s a self conscious day for me.” Aleks frowns a little and picks at the hem of his tanktop with his other hand.

“What the hell do you have to be self conscious about?”

“Look, for the most part, I’m cool with the way I look but it’s just… it’s one of those days where I’m feeling like, sort of iffy around_ here.” _ Aleks’ hand hovers in a circle above his stomach. “Youtube and reddit comments haven’t exactly helped and I mostly ignore those but this is like, a new thing.”

It doesn’t really help hearing from other people on the internet that he’s gained weight. It just reaffirms Aleks’ belief that he _ is _ packing on some pounds after all and that’s always been something he’s worried about. The internet is always known to single out the worst possible things, which is why Aleks tries not to pay attention, but nobody’s ever commented on his weight before.

He feels kind of stupid for worrying about it, but he knows Brett won’t give him shit for it. All Brett does is tell him how and why he’s fine, in every single way there is.

Brett squeezes Aleks hand and Aleks looks over into Brett’s eyes, as dark as his own, and as dark as the skies. Brett huffs a breath through his nose, quirks a grin, and shakes his head before telling Aleks, “you’re fucking hot either way. Don’t let the fucking comments get to you, dude, don’t let that start again.”

“That’s a bit easy to say coming from a man who can benchpress my entire body.”

“Now you’re being difficult on purpose.”

“Maybe. But I’m still right. Kind of.”

“Even if you were fat,” Brett says, “and you’re the exact fucking opposite, you’d still be the hottest man alive. I’d never lie to you, you know that. Being fat isn’t a bad thing either. It’s just a quality some people have.”

That’s one of Brett’s best qualities - he’s honest. Incredibly honest to a fault, but Aleks would rather that than somebody who sugarcoats it. Brett tells it like it is. Some people don’t like that and find it rude or childish but that honesty makes Brett genuine. You never have to wonder with Brett because he tells it like it is.

It’s why Aleks still has that very small smidge of uncertainty about Brett’s feelings towards him. If Brett wanted to be with him, then he’d just say it, wouldn’t he? There’d be no way for him to keep it to himself.

… though Brett had been wanting to fuck Aleks for quite some time and he only admitted it because Aleks sort of coaxed it out of him. But what are the chances Aleks will have to coax another confession out of him?

Nonetheless, Brett says he’s not fat. And if he was fat, Brett would still find him hot. It’s good enough for Aleks.

With a sigh, he lets go of Brett’s hand and grabs the hem of his tanktop. “I’ll take it off, but only if you do too.” He raises an awaiting eyebrow at Brett.

Brett just smiles and quickly brings his tanktop over his head before balling it up and throwing it far over to where their towels are set up. Afterwards, he presses his hands to his hips and says, “your move.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and discards his tanktop in the same fashion. “Should’ve known you’d take any excuse to take off your shirt,” he mumbles.

“Why are you acting like I’m some random jock now? I got my share of body issues too, bro.”

“You? Body issues?”

“I’m kinda getting beefy here too,” he says as he pats his stomach. “And the rest of my legs could be proportional to my thighs, I think. My butt could be bigger. My bald spot-”

“Don’t start on your bald spot, dawg, it’s fucking hot like every fucking thing else about you.” Aleks gently rubs at Brett’s stomach and gives him a wink. “I like my daddies to be beefy anyways.”

Brett actually gives a laugh and before Aleks can pull his hand away, Brett’s quickly grabbing it, along with the other, to pull Aleks to his body for a quick kiss. “God, I…” He bites at his lips and shakes his head to himself, though the smile still stays evident on his lips. “I just can’t get over how happy you make me, dude.”

There’s something lingering between them, something still unspoken, but unlike Aleks, this thought that Brett has isn’t lost in the tides of time. It’s simply a shadow that hides itself in the darkness and manages to evade the combined glow of moonlight and starlight.

Either way this thought is held back, Aleks knows that Brett was going to say something else, but it’s probably nothing big. It’s not worth wondering about.

“Glad the feeling is mutual,” Aleks replies with as he lets go of one of their hands so they can walk slowly towards the shoreline together.

_ At least that one is. _

Aleks takes a deep breath and looks up into sky, at all the stars twinkling throughout and the celestial moon commanding attention from them all. The sights in front of him are reality, an elevation that’s a step beyond digital, beyond wireframes and datastreams. Brett’s touch should be real, it is, but it’s still such a shocking heat to Aleks that it stays within that shared datastream they’re a part of.

He desperately wants to move what they have into a reality.

He doesn’t want to keep wondering if this is real or not.

He wants to just wake up one day in Brett’s arms, look over at him, and be content with the reality that they and everybody else share. Their bond is still a mythical dream, which is nice and all, but if it’s just a dream, then nobody else will know what they have. That’s kind of disappointing, isn’t it?

Aleks wants him and Brett to be a normal everyday thing, just like breathing and going to work. He doesn’t want to think about it - he just wants this to be a sure thing.

“You ever think about the moon and the stars?” Brett asks with squinted eyes in thought. “How they relate to each other?”

“Sometimes,” Aleks admits. “You got a theory?”

“Kind of.” Brett rolls his lips back and lets his eyes survey the night skies, particularly the sources of light splattered throughout. “So the stars are always there, right? They always wait for the moon, no matter what.”

“Mmhm.”

“I’m the stars,” Brett says. “You could… you could probably do way better than me, honestly,” he chuckles humorlessly. “But I’ll always be there for you. And wherever you go… I’ll be waiting. Just like those stars.”

They’re on the shoreline now and the tides are rising high, they wash the sand off from between their toes and cool their bodies in a refreshing chill. The natural breeze from the ocean hits their bodies, the scent wafts against their nose, but despite all that, Brett is the one that drowns Aleks’ senses.

He always does.

Aleks looks over to Brett but Brett’s still staring at the stars, quite intently. He really does think that Aleks is his moon, that Aleks can do better… but his theory sort of lacks.

Thankfully, Aleks knows the best way to complete it for him.

Aleks blinks back to the skies and centers his gaze on the moon. “I believe you,” he says quietly as he and Brett step further into the ocean together. “But maybe the moon always searches for the stars, even when the stars don’t know it. Like, they don’t know how hard the moon works to get back to them again.”

Brett has no idea the lengths Aleks would go through for him, nor the depths of his feelings. He also doesn’t know how hard Aleks is trying to search in between the lines for something that’ll tell him, with absolute certainty, that Brett feels the same way.

If Brett wants to think Aleks is the moon to his stars, he can. But he needs to know these important things first.

“Maybe the moon is fine without the stars,” Aleks says as he looks over to Brett, the stars to his moon, “but they’re nowhere near as special without them. The stars and moon need to come together to realize all the like… the beauty they have, I guess.”

The water is up to their knees and the chill it brings is stronger, enough for the both of them to shiver. They still continue to step forward, still continue to let the ocean become one with their bodies, because that chill is nothing to the heat they both bring.

That heat is lost when Brett lets go of his hand and for a split second, Aleks worries that he said the wrong thing, but then Brett is casually swooping Aleks up against his body, his hands holding onto Aleks’ thighs while Aleks wraps his legs around his waist, his hands holding onto Brett’s strong shoulders.

No more chill remains. All that stays is heat, one that only a true love’s embrace can bring.

“We’d be pretty beautiful together,” Brett says in a tone just above a whisper as he looks from the stars to Aleks. “We make each other better.”

“We do,” Aleks whispers as he brings up a hand to cup Brett’s jaw, allows his thumb to move back and forth along his beard. “And, a-and I can be myself around you. I don’t gotta like, put up an act or anything-”

“And I told you that I want you to be able to do that with me.” Brett smiles and tilts his head slightly to leave a lingering kiss to Aleks’ thumb. He closes his eyes and when he detaches his lips, he drops his face into Aleks’ neck to murmur, “look at me as an… as an…” His fingers tap against Aleks’ thighs and he looks off into the skies again, this time at the moon. “Look at me as an oasis in the desert,” he tells Aleks. “You don’t need to put on a mask. You can just be yourself, be comfortable, and enjoy.”

Aleks closes his eyes tightly when the strong, fundamental force of… something, suddenly tears through his body. It hits him hard and he has to wrap his arms tightly around Brett’s neck, cling onto him for what he is, as the only solid being in the constantly swaying waves of this strong ocean.

In an instant, he envisions it - their future.

Maybe Cow Chop is a part of it.

Maybe it isn’t.

Preferably, Aleks would like for Cow Chop to stay a significant part of his future but if he has Brett by his side, that’s all he cares about. Everything and everybody else, they can come and go but as long as Brett stays as that one constant, Aleks can rest easily.

Either way it goes, it doesn’t change the foundation of Aleks’ thoughts.

In this future, they’re together. They’re going through life’s daily motions, waking up, eating breakfast, etc. but in the moments between, he’ll look to Brett and think about how lucky he is to be living such a normal life with him, a life devoid of most anxieties and uncertainties.

Their bodies hotly pressed together, in such a way that it’s hard to see where one body starts and where the other stops, is an obvious for their future, but it’s not the one that takes Aleks’ attention. It’s simply sharing a life with Brett and doing what he does now but with Brett included, that really takes the spotlight.

Waves of unmitigated happiness flood through Aleks at these thoughts, until literal waves from the ocean wash over his and Brett’s heads.

Aleks is a bit miffed but Brett comes out of it totally fine. He’s even laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world and… okay, it sort of is, but nothing is funny if it breaks Aleks out of his Brett related thoughts. That’s just cruel, like it’s the universe telling him to shut up and put those thoughts at bay because they’ll never happen.

But it will happen.

Aleks just doesn’t know when… and he wishes he did.

But when he runs his hand back through his wet hair to properly look at Brett, he thinks he’s fine with waiting, because Brett is absolutely worth it.

Brett’s laugh is incredibly infectious and Aleks can’t help but crack a smile, even gives a small laugh himself as he looks Brett over. Brett’s big smile lifts up his cheeks, they look good enough to pinch, and his eyes are crinkled at the ends like Aleks does when he laughs but while Aleks hates that on him, he thinks it looks beautiful on Brett.

When the laughter subsides, they look over into each other’s eyes at last and their mouths both open, the both of them have something to say, but the both of them share the same thoughts.

_ Don’t risk ruining the moment. _

So instead, they bite down on their lips. They look to each other’s lips, they do it longingly. They then look back into each other’s eyes, they do it to silently ask for permission, maybe to drink in the other’s beauty as well.

Why drink in the other’s beauty, however, when they can show how much they appreciate that beauty?

Only two words are spoken in the comfortable silence, and they’re spoken by Aleks, in the softest voice that anybody can use.

“Kiss me?”

A fond grin lifts up the corner of Brett’s lip as he looks to Aleks’, parted open, like he’s already expecting Brett to say yes and he would expect right. With a wordless nod from Brett, he closes his eyes, tilts his head, and leans in to capture Aleks’ lips in a fiery kiss that overpowers the wetness of the roaring ocean and its mighty waves, so overpowering that when another wave washes over their heads, it’s easily ignored.

The moon is the controller of the tides, every single one. The tides rise high and with that, comes a whole slew of other things and the feelings one person may have for another is one of them.

Emotions that might have been pushed down before are quick to express themselves in the glow of light from a full moon. The light bathes the bearer of these emotions in celestial magnificence and exposes them to brand new worlds that they can achieve in their current reality, perhaps worlds that they never thought could be reached.

Things that weren’t possible before are possible now.

Things that couldn’t make sense before can make sense now.

But the power that comes from this special glow doesn’t do its work in the snap of the fingers. It takes a bit of time to work its magic but by the end of the night? Its work will be done.

When the night reaches its inevitable demise, Aleks won’t be able to deny the foundation of these deep emotions any longer.

As for Brett? He might try out something with Aleks that he’s never done with anybody else, but that’s because he’s in love with Aleks and he knows he’d do anything for him. The moonlight glow has little to do with that.

It’s sort of like how Aleks will wear lingerie with Brett, something that he’s never done and will never do with anybody else… and it’s for the same two reasons Brett will do what he does with Aleks tonight.

The night has only just begun, after all. The very important part, anyways.


	29. Bathing In The Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett decides to give Aleks a gift that he can only offer once in his lifetime.

**Rewind: March 26th, 2016**

Brett, Aleks, James, Aron, Joe, and Trevor, have finally made it to Boston for PAX East 2016. They’re on their way in their rental car to the convention center from the mall, which they had stopped at earlier to get some pants for Aleks and… Brett’s still sort of baffled by it.

Aleks really needed new jeans because he only packed 2 pairs and Brett wonders why he needs more when they’re only going to be here for a few days but he just attributes it to the fact that Aleks is just weird sometimes and left it at that.

He’s an enjoyable weird person though, and he’s actually the person Brett always looks forward to seeing the most whenever they all meet up, whether it’s in Colorado or a convention.

“Woah, dude, slow down,” Aleks tells Brett, who’s driving the rental, as he looks out the window. “That dude walking by is hot, gimme a few seconds.”

“Aleks,” Aron says, “that dude is old enough to be your dad.”

“He’s probably into that,” James mumbles.

“Aleks, dude, when’s the last time you’ve been with a dude, dude?” Trevor asks as he looks up from his phone.

Brett looks up into the mirror and grins at Aleks’ reflection. With a snort, he shakes his head and gives his phone a glance before he looks out the windshield to drive their rental through the green light.

He pries into Aleks’ sex life with men too, but it’s the same as it is with women - that’s just what guy friends do, but it seems like there’s a particular interest in the car about it. Brett supposes it’s interesting, to be with another guy, not that he’s thought about it before. It’s just personally not his thing.

Where would he start with guys anyways? There’s so many types to choose from. You got big, hairy guys, you got smaller, pretty looking guys, and everything in between. With girls, Brett’s had like, over 30 years to think about what he’s into. It’s a little bit overwhelming but again, it’s not Brett’s thing.

… okay, so maybe that is thinking about it. Brett’s thoughts haven’t progressed any further though.

“Last time I was with a dude,” Aleks repeats as he looks up to the ceiling. “Uhhh, maybe like, a few months ago? It was like, a week before I got with my girlfriend now, I know that.”

“What’s that like, man?” Trevor asks. “Getting fucked up the bumhole?”

Brett laughs. “I love how this just suddenly turned into a Reddit AMA of Aleks’ sex life.”

“I’m just curious!” Trevor defends. “It’s a dick constantly going in and out of your butthole! It’s a unique experience Aleks has!”

Aleks scoffs and looks over to Trevor. “Bro, why do you assume I’d take it?”

“Dude, you haven’t took it up there at least once?”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Hey,” Brett interjects. “Isn’t there like, a male g-spot up there? That’s the prostate, right?”

_ Buzz buzz. _

Brett looks over to his phone, where the GPS is currently on, and his stomach performs a pathetic flip at the message banner that flashes over the top of his screen.

**[Charlotte]** I don’t really appreciate the passive aggressive tone in your last message, nor the VERY unneeded defensive attitude. I just…

Brett swallows back that growing mix of irritation and anger and immediately swipes up the notification to get rid of it before he returns his attention to the road in front of him.

Things between him and Charlotte haven’t uh, looked too great for the past few days. Charlotte hasn’t been wanting to go out with him, she’s avoided his texts or has replied super slow to them (she’s usually such a fast texter), and to Brett, it seems like she’s mentally checked out of the relationship. If that’s the case, she needs to just get it over with and dump him instead of dragging it out.

Of course, she’s deciding to drag it out.

Of course, Brett is being painted as the bad guy for daring to be kinda bitchy about his recently distant girlfriend.

_ BUT ANYWAYS. _

“I can’t imagine having anything up there,” James says. “Tried it once, on a real lonely night, but it ain’t for me, man.”

“You know what,” Brett says, “I actually kinda get it. If there’s a g-spot in your ass, it makes sense that you’d wanna stick something up there and try to get it going.”

He’s never found that himself, nor has he been with any girls who wanted to try butt stuff with him, but it makes a lot of sense. It apparently feels good to touch the prostate so why not touch it? Why not have a dude shove their dick up there and stimulate it?

Brett’s actually very willing to try that with the right person. He just hasn’t found them yet.

James raises his eyebrows and looks to Brett in his front mirror. “Have you ever had anything up your ass before?”

“No.” Brett shakes his head. “I guess I’m just saying I wouldn’t be against it if I was presented with the opportunity.”

Aleks grins, leans back in his seat, and crosses his arms over his chest. “So uh, what if I wanted to put my dick in you? You up for it?”

Brett laughs loudly and looks down to his phone. His laughter subsides when another message from Charlotte flashes at the top of his screen but he gets rid of it before he has the chance to read what it says. “Ohhh,_ boy,” _ Brett breathes out with another laugh. “Well, I might be single in a few days, so I guess there’s nothing stopping me from taking you up on that.”

Honestly? Brett would rather get fucked in the ass by Aleks than have to deal with this long, drawn out argument he’s been having with his girlfriend.

At least then, he’s literally getting fucked in the ass, where there’s some guarantee of pleasure at the end of the tunnel.

The tunnel being his asshole, apparently.

* * *

**Back To: October 24th, 2017**

Aleks might not be fucking Brett in the ass right now but Brett can feel Aleks’ hard dick pressed right against him so it’s pretty much the same thing.

Their romantic night at the beach ended in the ocean together. They held onto each other in the swaying waves, having many conversations about all of the things in the world in between hot and heavy makeout sessions. It’s bittersweet to wash away the remnants of their nigh magical time together in this shower but it’ll come back to them soon in a way they weren’t anticipating.

Aleks slips his hands around Brett’s chest from behind and splays them out over his pecs as he moves forward to leave a soft kiss under Brett’s ear. “I had a good time with you tonight, daddy,” he says quietly against his ear.

With a smile, Brett brings his hands up to grab gently onto Aleks’. He gives them a squeeze, rolls his lips back with a hum, and gyrates his hips back and forth on Aleks’ length. “Daddy had quite a nice time with you too, angel,” Brett says in the same tone.

“And you tell me I’m the tease.”

“You are,” Brett tells him. “We can both be teases.”

Aleks huffs a breath through his nose against Brett’s neck and shakes his head. “Just be careful how you decide to tease me,” Aleks hints as he presses his nails into Brett’s skin to slowly drag them down his chest, over his stomach, before he latches his hands onto Brett’s hips.

“You threatening me with a good time?”

“Depends on daddy’s definition of a good time.”

The actual cleaning portion of their shower time ended just about a minute or two ago but obviously, that’s not going to be the end. They still need time to appraise the other’s body with their hands, their words, and all of their other senses.

Water cascades down their bodies and rolls off their muscles and natural dips and curves. It paints a veil over their skin that brings to light all the grabbable parts of their bodies, from the hips, to the hands, and better yet, the ass. In fact, Brett’s ass is the next spot in the journey that Aleks’ hands have embarked on.

Brett’s lips curl into a grin when Aleks cups a good feel of his ass and he bites down hard on his bottom lip as he brings his hands up to press them flat on the wet, white wall tiles. “You really like daddy’s ass, huh?” he asks.

“It’s actually gotten a bit bigger,” Aleks points out. “You’ve been focusing on that at the gym?”

“That and my legs are starting to become a priority,” Brett tells him, and he shivers when Aleks’ hot breath ghosts against his ear.

“How about you let your angel show his appreciation for all that work you’ve been putting in?” Aleks whispers into his ear. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” Brett breathes out.

Aleks has been more open with his affections for Brett lately. He’s always been open but especially today and it really makes Brett’s heart soar. It soars up into the skies and beyond, into the nebulas and endless galaxies, and Brett’s sort of lost, but he never wants to find his way back. He wants to set up a new home, take it easy, and enjoy his new life.

The open display of affection strengthens his trust in Aleks as well, because Aleks has to have let his guard down to do those things. Aleks has to feel pretty damn strong about Brett, platonic or romantic, to do those things. If Aleks can trust Brett enough to do that, doesn’t it make sense for Brett to trust him in return, and keep on trusting him, more than he has with anyone else?

They can be completely vulnerable with each other. Brett might be the type to just be himself with no fucks given, but he’s never actually had that luxury with anyone, that he can just be himself and _ it’s okay. _

Brett can be himself and Aleks will still appreciate him the same way he did before - and he’ll appreciate Brett more than anybody else ever has.

In an instant, Aleks is trailing a path of kisses down the center of Brett’s back and Brett’s eyes fall shut so he can concentrate on each bout of pleasure those kisses send. They’re akin to small pecks on the lips, yet they feel so much more, like there’s a message behind each one, and each message is one thing Aleks loves about Brett - and there seems to be a whole lot of things.

Brett moans out loud when Aleks presses his face in between his asscheeks and he pushes back in response. “R-Remember when I said this was more than okay?” he gasps.

All Aleks gives is a chuckle, it rumbles against Brett’s hole, and Brett can’t see it but he can feel Aleks nodding against him.

“Yeah,” Brett breathes, “this is like, fucking perfect.”

“Haven’t even really started yet.”

“I don’t give a _ fuck, _ dude.”

Aleks waggles his eyebrows with a grin as he grabs Brett’s asscheeks in both his hands. “Really stroking my ego here,” he mumbles. “Feel like I gotta return the favor now.”

“Isn’t that what you’re - oh god, fuck,” Brett groans and presses his forehead against the cool tiles to ground himself when Aleks suddenly wraps a hand around his shaft to slowly jerk him off.

“Shut up and lemme take care of you,” Aleks says lowly against his skin.

“I-” Brett quickly presses his lips together and shakes his head to himself. He resigns to only making noises of pleasure and occasionally telling Aleks how fucking amazing he is with his mouth, and he wastes no time in showing just how amazing his skills are.

Aleks’ hand jerks him off slowly and his tongue laves Brett’s entrance with spit, pokes at it and trails around the rim to fully lather it. It licks up and down, up and down, before he mouths a wet kiss over it and then he begins to suck at the skin around it.

Brett spreads his legs more to make it easier for Aleks to rim him and he brings his hand up to hold onto the shampoo rack lining the wall. His fingers curl tightly against the rack and he purses his lips out in another moan, a long one, as he begins to gyrate his hips around Aleks’ tongue.

Aleks is too good for words. All of that experience of being a bottom has to come in handy, because he knows all the little things that drive Brett crazy, and he probably knows those things because that’s what he wants when he gets rimmed. Aleks has intrinsic knowledge of what works and what doesn’t, Brett does too, but nowhere near the extent that Aleks does.

Brett, however, acts just like Aleks when he’s getting rimmed - he whines, he whimpers, and he’s writhing all around just to chase Aleks’ skillful tongue. He’s began a rhythm of thrusting up into Aleks’ hand and pushing back against his face and whenever the latter happens, Aleks groans against his hole, and sometimes Aleks spanks him and_ oh fuck, more. _

“One more,” Brett pleads.

_ Spank. _

“Fuck, babe,” Brett moans out. “A-Again, harder-”

** _Spank._ **

Brett’s whine grows high pitched as he throws his head back with pleasure and Aleks opens his eyes to cast a dark gaze upwards at the older man that’s quickly coming undone. His hand quickens, it squeezes harder, and he smirks at the cry Brett gives in response.

“Who’s your daddy now?” Aleks raises his eyebrow but before Brett can answer, he just chuckles and shakes his head. “Nah, you’re still the daddy - even if you are, like, kind of whining like a slut-”

“Your slut though,” Brett rasps.

“Mmm, you’re my slut, I’m your slut... kind of the perfect pair, if you ask me,” Aleks murmurs before his eyes fall shut again so he can concentrate with the task at hand.

The adrenaline surges through Brett’s veins and it’s not because of the combined rimjob and handjob either, although that’s definitely making him feel some type of way. Anytime Aleks says stuff like that, that they’re a good pair, that he doesn’t mind them sounding like a couple, it makes Brett’s heart race and think about what could be.

They could be so much if Aleks could just see it.

If Aleks could see the world through Brett’s eyes, how it only comes to life with color when he’s around, he’d understand the power that they bring together. Or maybe he and Brett can switch places and he can be the one who gets lost staring into Brett’s eyes, he can be the one whose whole demeanor brightens when he listens to Brett laugh.

But he can’t, so Brett has to make do with what they currently have. For now, what they have is fine.

Aleks removes his tongue from its wild excavation inside Brett so he can leave a nip to one of Brett’s asscheeks. He gives it a gentle smack, jiggles it in his hand, and then he sucks at his hole. That goes on for a minute or two and the hand he has on Brett’s ass drifts over to the crack, one of his fingers trails downwards to his hole and-

“Woah, hold on,” Brett gasps out.

“Are we good?” Aleks raises an eyebrow up at Brett.

“Like I said, more than good,” Brett tells him. “I just don’t exactly trust myself right now to hold it together in a slippery shower,” he chuckles and looks to the shower door. “Mind if we uh, take this to the bed?”

“Hell no, my dude.” Aleks lets go of Brett’s dick, pats Brett’s ass with both hands, and when he stands up from the floor, he’s kissing all over Brett’s neck. “Mmm, whatever you want,” he murmurs in between kisses.

Brett sighs with relief and tilts his head to the side to give Aleks more room. “I… th-this is nice, really is, but this isn’t the bed.”

Aleks huffs through his nose. “Bite the hand that feeds you, why don’t you,” he says before backing away from Brett to pull open the shower doors.

“Shut up, you can do whatever you want to my neck when we get on the bed.”

_ And every other part of my body, while you’re at it. _

“You’re gonna tell me to shut up after I got on my knees and shoved my face up your ass? All for you?”

Brett shrugs as he steps out with Aleks, reaching his hand back to turn off the water. “I didn’t tell you to do that. That’s on you.”

“Then I guess I’m never going to rim you-”

“I’m kidding, Aleks, pleeease?” Brett whines and reaches for both of Aleks’ hands with the both of his. “I love being difficult with you and teasing you and stuuuff.” He pouts. “You know that’s just how I am, daddy.”

Aleks narrows his eyes in scrutinization at Brett. His pupils dip down to their joined hands for a few moments before he gives Brett his attention again and as he slowly lets go of their hands, he says, “you can’t call me daddy to get away with shit all the time… but I’ll let it slide.”

Brett smiles brightly and claps his hands together as he follows Aleks out of the bathroom. “Goodie! But for real, your mouth is awesome and I hope you keep using it. I’m not ready to part with it just yet.”

“Well lay down on the bed and you won’t have to part with it.” Aleks steps to the edge of the bed and holds out one arm, crossing the other behind his back. “After you, daddy.”

Brett hums and looks at Aleks with a grin before he leans in to peck him on the lips. “Why thank you, angel,” he murmurs as he climbs onto the bed, one knee at a time.

The bed dips underneath Brett’s weight the further he climbs up, until he’s all the way at the headboard. It reminds Brett of what they’re about to do with each other, what they do practically every night, but tonight, it all feels… different.

There’s not this need for Brett to pin Aleks down and whisper all the dirtiest things he can think of into his ear, feel Aleks shiver underneath him and whine at Brett to do _ something. _There’s not some mystical force purring into Brett’s ear about how Aleks was made to be destroyed and put back together by his hands.

While there is a mystical force purring into Brett’s ear, it’s telling him_ lie down, _ it’s telling him _ spread your legs, _ it’s telling him _ if you really want it all with Aleks, you must surrender. _

But then he feels Aleks’ warm hand scratching against the nape of his neck before it threads into his mane of hair, and even better, he hears Aleks’ voice ghost against his ear in the hottest breath, whispering to Brett to, “lie down and spread your legs.”

And the decision to surrender himself to Aleks becomes an easy one to make, not that it was hard before.

With a hum, Brett presses his body down to the bed before he turns on his back to look up at the younger, smaller man above him. He raises an eyebrow and grins, waggling his fingers at Aleks, then crossing his arms behind his head. “How can I help you today?” he asks quietly.

Aleks grins back at Brett and fully situates himself between Brett’s legs before he rests his hands over Brett’s chest, fingers running through the bristlings of hair. “Yeah, can I get uhhh, me worshipping your body and playing with your asshole? Heard there’s a special on that tonight.”

“Ooh, I can absolutely do that for you,” Brett answers as he looks down to watch Aleks’ fingers. He bites down on his lips when he sees them very slowly dragging their way down his chest, and he hums at the very slight pleasure that comes from it. “Is there uh, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Just lie back, let me continue to take care of you?” Aleks raises his eyebrows up at Brett before he closes his eyes, and then he’s latching onto Brett’s neck.

“Fuck, I… y-yeah, okay. Pull to the next window.”

The way Aleks kisses all over Brett’s body, from his neck, his shoulder, and down his torso, is very reminiscent of the way he was showing Brett his appreciation a few nights ago, when Brett was wearing all that lingerie he thought he looked so silly in, yet Aleks thought it was the hottest thing in the world.

And the kisses retain their quality from earlier, in the way that each kiss is a message, only now Brett thinks he can translate them, and admittedly, they’re small messages, like _ I love your beard, I love your muscles, _ and _ I love your receding hairline, _ and Brett doesn’t really agree with that one because, like, what the fuck, but Aleks has told Brett that so many times he knows it’s the truth.

It’s the truth that makes these seemingly simple kisses so much more hot than they have any right being. It’s why Brett moans his approval so loud for all of them, why he keeps arching his body up into Aleks’ mouth, and why his hands move downwards to latch into Aleks’ hair to tug him forward.

Underneath Aleks, Brett is submerged in love and it makes him feel immortal. He’s subject to all of Aleks’ appreciation, and eagerly awaiting any of the limitless miracles that derive from Aleks’ command.

Brett’s eyes blow open and a loud gasp escapes from his parted lips when Aleks’ tongue presses at the base of his shaft to slowly run upwards. “Oh, w-woah, yeah, I _ really _want that.”

“I think you might want a little bit of this too.”

And before Brett can even ask what Aleks means, Aleks has a finger pressing at the spot right under his balls to rub at and Brett should be a bit more embarrassed at the noise he lets out, because it’s even more high pitched than Aleks’ whenever Brett does that shit to him, but he’s too far gone to care.

“Fuck, y-yeah, Aleks, I want_ a lot _ of that,” Brett breathes out a chuckle but he quickly cuts himself off with his own moan when Aleks’ finger rubs _ just _ that bit harder.

So Brett’s been sucked off by Aleks a lot, and it always feels great. He has no complaints about that, but look, he really loves the ass play, especially with the state of mind he finds himself in tonight.

Brett isn’t entirely sure why he feels like this tonight either, but this feeling is right. He’s been in charge of so many things, he’s been taking the more dominant role in practically every aspect of his life, and the notion of just _ letting go _and giving that responsibility to someone else sounds like the most rational thing.

It’s only with Aleks that he’s allowed himself to be in this state, and he’s never gone to such lengths with the women in his life, hasn’t even let a woman finger him like Aleks is doing right now, _ holy fuck, when did he fucking put his finger in there? _

“Do _ not _ stop,” Brett moans and lulls his head back against the pillow. “You better keep giving me more, don’t take that _ fucking _finger out, Aleks-”

_ Spank. _

“I will if you’re gonna get mouthy,” Aleks warns him in an eerily calm tone. He glances to Brett, knowing Brett will feel the heat of his eyes. “We gonna be good?”

“Okay, yeah, I’m sorry,” Brett whimpers and tugs a bit at Aleks’ hair. “I just - I love it a lot, okay? Please.”

Aleks blinks a few times and nibbles at his bottom lip in thought. With a shrug, he goes ahead and slips a second finger alongside the other and gets to work on twisting and turning them inside Brett’s hole. “Well, you said please real pretty.”

Brett moans out his thanks and there’s a dreamy sort of smile tilting up the corner of his lips while his fingers wring the comforter of the bed in his hands. “Thank you. Fuck, thank you so much.”

“No problem, daddy.”

Aleks seems to be on a mission with his fingers in the rather calculated way he moves them back and forth along Brett’s walls, how they go just a bit deeper every so often. The way he sucks Brett’s off seems like it’s just a bonus to the way he fingers him, like it isn’t the main attraction.

He’s not using his tongue as much as he usually does, it’s just simple bobs of the head, but Brett doesn’t even fucking care about that right now. It’s not rare that Aleks fingers him, but it doesn’t happen near all the time like the blowjobs so _ hell yeah, _ he’s focused more on Aleks’ fingers pushing deeper into him.

Brett’s focused on the way those digits deliberately keep missing his prostate,_ fucking minx, _ and it’s only when he pushes himself down with a whine that Aleks gives into what he wants, but it’s only for a few seconds and then Brett’s whining again, but maybe if he knew that Aleks is so into the pretty noises he makes when he’s deprived of pleasure, he wouldn’t whine as much as he’s doing right now.

But he doesn’t want to hold back. He knows Aleks doesn’t want him to either, and Aleks always comes first and foremost.

It’s only when Aleks gives him that third finger does he actively start seeking out that bundle of nerves Brett keeps whining about, and Brett lets him _ hear it _when he finds it.

“There!” Brett cries out. “Aleks, _ angel, _ that’s so good, j-just keep pushing them there, please, pl-please-”

“Shhh, I know what I’m doing.” Aleks looks up to Brett and presses a kiss to the head of his cock. “I’m taking good care of you aren’t I?”

“Y-Yeah-”

“Then trust me,” Aleks asks of him quietly. “I’ve made you feel better than pretty much anybody, right?”

Brett raises his head up to look down at Aleks, his dark eyes softening into something more light and warm. “Yeah,” he replies just as quiet. “Of course you have.”

The moon is the rhythm between now and then. It rules the ebb and flow of sensation and emotion, and this allows one to revitalize the mind, revitalize way of thinking, and to know inwardly where they stand today against yesterday, in this moment against 5 minutes ago, to separate these as concepts of time.

Brett is ruled by the moon, and the moon is Aleks.

Aleks presses those three fingers in all the way and crooks them against Brett’s sweet spot, he grins at the loud moan Brett gives in response, and he sits up so he can lean over Brett, his arm holding himself up on one side of him. “Then do you trust me,” he whispers, “to keep making you feel better than anybody else?”

The regulator on the pendulum of time can preserve interactions between any two people, to protect them, and nurture that everlasting spark of_ more. _ It promotes more interactions, each one giving way to what that _ more _ is, until they’re able to reach their fullest potential.

Brett is ruled by the regulator of time, and the regulator of time is Aleks.

Brett breathes out against Aleks’ lips and looks down to them with a nod. “Y-Yeah.”

“That’s what I wanna hear.”

Their lips press together and with a needy moan into Aleks’ mouth, Brett holds him there by the nape of his neck, the other grabbing onto his shoulder, and Aleks’ moan is just as needy as his.

Brett’s moans only grow louder the more Aleks fingers him, the more he rubs over that spot, and Aleks’ moans are much the same way, just because of how damn hot Brett sounds. It’s his motivator to keep fingering him like this, until he can bring Brett right to the very edge and listen to Brett cry out his name like he’s his god.

He feels so connected to Aleks, and it grows each time they have sex, but especially now.

Brett’s mind is like an emotional alarm clock. Sometimes it goes off and reminds him that the world is not this amazing, mythical place, and he needs to quit dreaming, but Aleks is that regulator of time that presses the snooze button and tells Brett that it’s alright to keep dreaming, and just maybe, those dreams are more a reality than he thinks.

And then his mind is revitalized. It sinks further into those pool of dreams and his imagination can awaken on its own, fully energized by the ebbing and flowing of his feelings between the concepts of time Aleks has granted him - the present of them, and the future of them, in which they always are.

In this instant, Brett feels wonderfully calm. Surrounded by love, surrounded by warmth, surrounded by_ Aleks, _ and Brett has never felt these things before, at least not at this high level of magnitude. Even then, there’s a part of Brett that tells him they can take it to a higher level, a level that can only be achieved by allowing Aleks to see him at his most vulnerable state.

Now, he wants his soul to be released from the digital world and back into reality, so he and Aleks can become one in all planes of existence, the complete fusion of mind and soul, and to do that, he must fully surrender.

The surrender must be all embracing, moved by the heart, and filled with humility and unconditional love, but that’s not going to be trouble for Brett at all.

In fact, it’s a bit too easy.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Their breaths keep hovering over each other in this pause.

Brett’s eyes are closed, but Aleks’ are fully open.

And when Brett opens his eyes, he sees that Aleks has pulled his head away, but he doesn’t have to look down below to confirm that Aleks’ fingers are still in him so he knows Aleks is just stunned.

He still feels the need to say the words again, in case Aleks misheard.

“Aleks,” Brett starts, “angel, I want you to-”

“Are you ready for that?” Aleks asks. “You know what you’re in for right?”

“Pain,” Brett immediately answers. “For sure. But I mean, we’ve sort of been practicing the past month or two. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“But? You don’t wanna fuck me or something?” Brett chuckles.

“Uh, fuck yeah, I wanna fuck you?” Aleks chuckles and withdraws his fingers from Brett’s hole before he looks to the nightstand, where their lube is kept. “But I’m not pressuring you to do it. I know it’s a lot, to take it up the ass-”

“Dude, I’m asking for a dick in my ass, I’m not asking you to shit on my chest.”

“You’re not into that, are you?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Are you?”

“Are you gonna fuck me or not?”

Aleks presses his lips together and rests his hands on top his thighs, running them up and down. He looks back to Brett, with a bit of an unsure expression. “I mean, I’ve fucked guys before. So I know what I’m doing, but you-”

“I know what I want,” Brett states firmly. “And I really want this. You’ve been taking good care of me so far.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I trust you,” Brett says as he sits up on his knees, and he brings up one hand to cup Aleks’ cheek. He guides Aleks to look into his eyes, full of understanding, and maybe just a bit of a plea. “I trust you more than anyone.”

_ I love you more than anyone. _

Aleks relaxes in Brett’s touch and he brings up his hand to cup Brett’s cheek as well, his thumb brushing back and forth against his beard. “So we’re doing this then?”

“Mmhm.” Brett nods. “You’re gonna fuck me.”

Being fucked in the ass isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Brett’s even a bit afraid that it’ll totally wreck his ass despite the amount of times Aleks has fucked him with his fingers or a dildo, but it’s like Brett said; he trusts Aleks more than anyone.

Besides, it’s easier to get fucked up the ass than it is to confess to your best friend you’re in love with him.

But if Brett can get through this… well, he knows what else he can get through with Aleks.

Aleks nods and then he blows out a breath. “Okay… well…” He looks back to the nightstand. “You should turn onto your hands and knees then. That’d be… easier, I think.”

“I can_ absolutely _ do that for you.”

And he absolutely does.

When he turns to set himself on his hands and knees, there’s a very hard realization that washes over Brett, that Aleks is gonna be inside him. Not his fingers or his tongue but like, his _ dick _.

And Aleks’ dick isn’t average sized, like, he is _ long. _

This is happening now. Brett knows he can still go back, that he can back out at any point, but he doesn’t want to. He won’t.

Why would he?

Why wouldn’t he want to lay himself out, fully naked and vulnerable, for the man he’s so desperately in love with?


	30. Exit The Datastream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks has taken Brett's heart but now, he's taken his anal virginity too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't upload this yesterday, I was working all day and immediately had a DND game afterwards and honestly, I was tired as hell. But this chapter is really nice and beautiful, I think!!

**Rewind: March 27th, 2016**

Aleks likes James a lot, he kind of has to if they’re best friends, but their interests don’t always mesh. That’s becoming more clear the older they get but it’s not like they’re going to drift apart and never speak to each other again. They’re just different and that’s okay!

However, his and Brett’s interests go together just fine. It actually kinda sucks, because Aleks wants to hang with him a lot and they can’t considering they’re states apart… but then it’s why Aleks secretly looks forward to these conventions. It means more time with Brett!

“Yo, Brett!” Aleks knocks on the door to Brett’s hotel room. “Open your door!”

He and Brett are going to go out and get hammered! As for James? He’s sleeping. Aleks respects the fuck outta that.

The door opens to show a very exhausted looking Brett in a t-shirt and sweats. He kind of looks like he wants to die too, and they haven’t even got drunk yet so already, Aleks knows that something is wrong. In fact, he opens his mouth to ask Brett  _ why _ it looks like he wants to die, but Brett is already one step ahead.

“Charlotte dumped me.”

“Wait.” Aleks shakes his head. “What? I thought everything was good between you two, bro.”

Brett shakes his head. “They haven’t been good between us for a while, bro.” He leans against the door, holds out an arm to motion Aleks inside his hotel room, and Aleks makes his way in with a small frown.

Given they’re states apart, he and Brett don’t talk too much. They don’t need to talk a lot because they know the other is busy, going out and living their lives, and when the other is in town, they’re stuck to each other’s hip until they have to part ways. Even with that knowledge, Aleks still feels like he should’ve known something was wrong with Brett and his girlfriend before this seemingly sudden bomb dropped on his head.

“What happened then?” Aleks asks as he turns to sit on the bed, looking up and over to Brett.

Brett closes the door and answers that “she just stopped loving me” very quietly, right as he closes the door. His arms cross over his chest and he looks down to the doorknob for a few moments before his lips press together and then he’s slowly making his way over to the bed. “Said I was…” He huffs a breath through his nose and quirks a sad sort of smile. “Well, she just didn’t really like how defensive I could be sometimes. I am also, apparently, dramatic and overly sensitive, but mainly, yeah, she just stopped loving me.” Brett rolls his eyes and wipes at the back of his eyelids with his hands before he plops a seat next to Aleks.

Aleks bites at his lip and looks off to the side as he tries to perfectly pinpoint the words to say to Brett that will make him better. He’s done this before, talking a friend through a breakup, but it’s different with Brett somehow.

Because Brett’s always the one talking Aleks through things like this.

Brett has been in Aleks’ shoes before. He’s walked thousands of miles in them and then negotiated with the manager of a store for a brand new pair to walk another thousands of miles in. Anything Aleks has gone through, or  _ will _ go through, Brett’s done it all. He’s the one to give Aleks advice and it rarely ever goes the other way around.

Well, actually, it’s been more common as of lately. Doesn’t mean Aleks is used to it at all. It’s like realizing for the first time that your dad is vulnerable and needs help like everyone else.

Aleks breathes in deeply and after an exhale, he looks over to Brett and says, “dude, that fucking sucks. PAX is bad enough already without that.”

A sense of victory floods through Aleks and washes over his lips, causes the corner to turn up into a small grin when Brett actually snorts and smiles.

“Maybe uh, next thing that happens is we get dropped from our partnership with Rooster Teeth,” Brett adds quietly.

“And YouTube decides to stop paying everybody.”

“Donald Trump will actually win the election.”

“Everybody in Cow Chop starts leaving.”

“And we’ll be the last ones standing.”

The small smile on Aleks’ lips widens just a tad, into something decidedly more fond now. “Wouldn’t be too bad if it was just you and me,” he tells him.

Brett just looks at Aleks for a few moments after that. Aleks would be more nervous about it if Brett didn’t share the fond smile he’s carrying, although he does feel a hint of adrenaline shoot through his veins and he wishes he knew what that was about.

Either way, Aleks appreciates these few moments of silence with Brett. It’s a nice change of pace.

A chuckle from Brett pierces the silence. “You wanna take Charlotte’s place?” he teases.

“Hey, I’m a good boyfriend.”

Brett huffs through his nose and looks up to the ceiling with a shrug. “Maybe so, but I just don’t think I’m in that place yet.” He sighs. “Is it weird if I still miss her though? Even though she clearly doesn’t miss me?”

“Come on bro, I bet she misses you,” Aleks says quietly. “Not a lot, but she’s gotta miss you a little bit.”

“It still feels a bit silly to me,” Brett mumbles. “I know it’s stupid to feel like that, I’m sorry, but-”

“Dude, don’t feel bad for having emotions over someone,” Aleks chuckles, more to lighten the mood in the room. “And don’t apologize for having them. You were with her for a long time and she was important to you. How are you not going to miss her?” He nudges Brett’s shoulder. “Brett, look at me.”

And he does.

Aleks raises a hand to rest it on top Brett’s shoulder and looks directly into his eyes, hoping that Brett sees the absolute assurance in them. “This is normal,” Aleks tells him. “Stop feeling bad about it.”

You know what? Being an adult feels kinda cool sometimes. Aleks likes making people feel good! In every single way too, hahaha. Okay, he’s not going to think about that right now, especially when it’s Brett.

Brett looks to the hand on his shoulder and he rolls his lips back between his teeth. There’s another few moments of peaceful silence and in those moments, Brett gently takes Aleks’ hand to take it off his shoulder.

Aleks ignores the burst of electricity he feels when their hands touch, though he does wonder why it feels so strangely like that adrenaline.

“Okaaay,” Brett sighs and allows himself to fall back onto the bed. “I’ll stop feeling bad about it.” He looks off to the side and blinks a few times, and then suddenly his eyebrows furrow together. “Hey, Aleks.”

“Hey, Brett.”

“What if I tried guys?”

“Excuse the fuck out of me?”

“Like, just to see what happens?”

“Uh-”

“Take a break from girls for awhile? I mean, yeah, they’re God’s gift to this planet but uh, I dunno, maybe I’m not supposed to get that gift yet.”

Aleks knows Brett is saying all of this for dramatic effect. That’s the kind of guy Brett is, all drama and theatrics, you know, the pretentious film student stereotype but without the actual pretentiousness. Brett will never actually try anything with a guy, and if Aleks thought he would, he’d probably still be hopelessly crushing on him.

And Aleks has worked very hard to shove that crush all the way into the back of his mind. He’s not about to let something like this, a dramatic joke, delude him.

“I mean, there really isn’t a difference between the two,” Aleks says as he turns his upper body to look down at the older man. “I know you’re memeing but I thought I’d throw it out there.”

Brett hums contemplatively before he relents with a small nod. “Yeah, guess the only difference is the equipment,” he mumbles. “And even then, some girls have dicks and some guys got pussies. So like… huh, yeah. Really aren’t any differences.”

“Yup, sure aren’t.” Aleks reaches his hand over to pat Brett’s knee. “Yo, you’ll feel better after getting drunk.”

“Ooh, hell yeah!” Brett exclaims as he shoots up from the bed. “Just like, make sure I don’t drunk text my ex, okay?”

“Can’t say I’ll promise but I promise to try my best.”

“Good enough.” Brett stands up from the bed and looks down to Aleks. “Hey, thanks for the talk.”

Aleks just shrugs and stands up with him. “It’s no problem, you-”

Then he feels two big, strong arms wrapping around his lithe frame, and Brett’s head resting right on top his shoulder. It feels like the adrenaline, the burst of electricity, but now it’s blisteringly hot and yet, it brings no pain - only a sense of foreboding peace.

“I love you, man,” Brett says against his ear.

He and Brett might be a bit more open with their emotions towards each other than most guys, they’re still not the type to really get sappy, and they certainly don’t say  _ I love you. _

But then Brett says it and Aleks kind of wonders why they don’t say it more. It’d be different if Brett said it with the intentions that he’s like, _ in love with Aleks, _ but they’re just friends.

Friends is all they’ll ever be. So saying _ I love you _ should be easy.

Aleks contemplates these things for a few moments before he finally returns the hug. It’s not tight, not suffocating, but a relaxing hold that takes away all their worries.

Against Brett’s ear, Aleks says, “I love you too, Brett.”

* * *

**Back To: October 24th, 2017**

Aleks still loves Brett, but it’s different now, and yet it isn’t.

He feels the same as he did before but now, it’d feel wrong to say he loves Brett. It’s not a good enough indicator for how strongly he feels about him, especially with how different their relationship is now.

Not that they’re in a relationship, though it sure is damn close to one. It’d make so much sense to just enter a relationship with each other because then it wouldn’t be this complicated thing, then Aleks wouldn’t be guessing what exactly this is between them.  
  
But despite the fact that Aleks isn’t certain what they are (and he hates not being certain), he’d still have this over anything else he’s had with him, and if they were just friends, he’d never see Brett on his hands and knees, offering to let Aleks fuck him.

Getting fucked by Brett was always Aleks’ dream but this? This is beyond that. It’s so far beyond dreaming that it sends into another plane of reality because what would be the fucking chance that Brett, if he was sexually attracted to Aleks at all, would rather get fucked by him than to fuck him?

Aleks has had time to prepare himself for this, he knows that. He’s had Brett willingly submit himself to him a handful of times, he’s played with Brett’s ass  _ a lot  _ more than a handful of times, and for christ’s sake, he even got Brett to wear lingerie! So this would be the next logical step, would it not?

He looks down into Brett’s hole, a bit more loose after the fingering. Brett is clearly ready to be fucked, and Aleks’ dick is clearly aching to be in him, but he still needs a few minutes just to really get himself in the headspace to fuck Brett tonight.  
  
With a small groan, Aleks grabs onto Brett’s asscheeks with both hands and he sinks his nails into the flesh as he leans down and forward to press his tongue flat against Brett’s entrance. The moan Brett gives just spurs him to actually push it inside, and he doesn’t waste time in flicking it back and forth, twisting and turning it, doing whatever he can to open up the older man.

“Aleks,” Brett breathes out. “Fuck, that’s - that’s so good, but I-”

_ Spank. _

Brett rolls his lips back with a small whine and drops his forehead to press it into the pillow. Aleks smirks, really just loving the way he can feel the dominant streak already rising within him. Though he doesn’t exactly want to dominate Brett tonight, he definitely wants to get into that mindset.

Aleks wants to take care of Brett. He wants to _ love _ Brett, and he wants to take away all of those responsibilities Brett has. He doesn’t want Brett to think about work, or about anyone, really, just wants Brett to lie there and let himself enjoy it all.

It’s Brett’s first time ever being fucked. It needs to be something for him to fondly remember, and Aleks wants Brett to remember it as a time in his life where he felt more loved by anyone than ever before.

It’s not just a big step for Brett, but a big step for Aleks too.

Simply put, it’s a big step for _ them. _

He slides his tongue out to lick it up and down Brett’s hole. His tongue then swirls around the rim, dipping in just a few times so he can hear Brett moan, and he places his mouth around him to give his hole a good suck before he pulls away entirely, but he does rub at the entrance with the pads of two fingers so he doesn’t leave Brett totally hanging.

“Want me to get a condom?” Aleks asks.

Brett snorts and looks back to Aleks with a bit of a confused look. “And why would we need that?”

“Did they not have health class in-”

“I know you’re clean, bro,” he chuckles. “Also?” Brett shrugs. “Kinda want you to come in me. Does it uh,” Brett bites at his lips to silence his budding moan, “does it feel nice, getting filled?”

There’s a flare of arousal that burns Aleks’ body at the question, makes him think back to every single time Brett finished inside him-

_ This is about Brett! _

Aleks clears his throat and in a purposefully lowered tone, he says, “yeah, it’s pretty nice.”

“What does it feel like?” Brett asks on a bit of a breathless edge. “And can you lube yourself up so you can fuck me now? Not that I don’t really like what you’re doing to me now but man, I wanna get this show on the road.”

“How does it feel to be the one begging?”

“I got no problems begging. That’s something you got a personal problem with, bro.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and reaches for the lube so he can pop the cap open and drizzle it over his shaft. “So like, you don’t feel this big, amazing thing when they finish in you, right? But it’s still…” He presses his lips together and squints his eyes in thought as he slowly strokes on the lube. “It feels great because of like… what it means, you know?”

Brett shudders when he feels the chill of the lube pressing to his hole and he wrings the comforters underneath, already preparing himself for the unyielding pains and pleasures that’ll wreck through his being. “So… what is that?”

It’s a total surrender to somebody you trust, more than anyone and anything. The surrender is most always all-embracing, a decision moved greatly by the heart, but pontificated with sexual yearning.

Aleks likes to be filled for the obvious, because it’s kind of filthy and it just feels fucking good, to feel that hot release splash against his insides. People say you don’t feel it, and you don’t really feel it, but Aleks feels just a bit and that’s enough for him to think about what it really means.

It marks the end of the complete fusion of two bodies, both in personality and soul.

For as much as Aleks talks about how great it is to go bare, that’s not a thing he does with just about anyone. It’s a thing he does with somebody he trusts, somebody he  _ loves. _

So the easy answer? It means everything.

Aleks looks to the back of Brett’s head as he sits back on his knees. “Turn onto your back.”

There’s a few beats of silence, but then Brett’s turning over to lie on his back, and he adjusts the pillows so his head can get more comfortable.

Aleks gets right in between Brett’s legs and grabs at his lubed up shaft so he can press the head to Brett’s hole, rubbing it up and down with a small moan. “It just fucking means a lot. I don’t let just anyone do that shit with me. It’s special, dude, and like, I always feel so much closer to you after you come in me. And when you’re not filling me up, I don’t feel… I don’t feel-”

“Complete?”

Aleks gives a small sigh of relief. “Yeah,” he says quietly.

“Well...” Brett takes in a deep breath as he watches Aleks push forward. “If it helps,” his eyes slam shut while a groan makes it out of his lips when he feels the head pressing in, “I-I feel a lot more like a fucking complete person after I fill you up, like it’s supposed to happen and now it finally is and it just feels right,  _ fuck, holy shit, that’s your dick-” _

“Y-Yeah,” Aleks gives a stunted moan and rests his arms on either side of Brett as he keeps pushing his length inside. “But uh, hey,” he breathes out a chuckle, “good to know we’re on the same page.”

Brett tries to chuckle but it just comes out as a short breath instead, though there is a smile hanging at the corner of his lips that shows his intentions. “We’re both sappy fucks. That’s great, yeah, now are you fucking done filling me up yet?” He looks down between them and he rolls his eyes with a bit of a whine when he sees how much there is left. “You’re like, 13 inches!”

“8 and a half,” Aleks tells him as he comes to a stop. “Obviously I’m not giving you the whole thing, you can’t take that.”

“Oh, fuck you-”

“No, like, nobody can take-”

“Give me the whole thing.”

“You were just bitching about how big I was!”

“Aleks, if you don’t-”

Brett groans when Aleks suddenly clamps his hand around his throat and his eyes slam tightly shut as a hand flies up to grab at Aleks’ wrist.

“I’m in charge right now,” Aleks says firmly. “Just lay there and let me do the work.” He raises a pointed eyebrow and watches Brett for a few seconds before taking off his hand. “Now relax. I know what I’m doing. You trust me, right?”

Brett takes a few deep breaths before he slowly opens his eyes, pupils wandering all over Aleks’ face. After some seconds, he presses his lips together and gives him a nod. “Yeah,” he answers quietly. “I trust you.”

Aleks knows that Brett is still looking for control, because this is a brand new situation and he wants a big say in how it goes, but he should trust Aleks. Aleks has been fucked by him more times than they can count, and Brett should know that it was always Aleks who had the power in that.

Because if Aleks really wanted them to stop, he knows Brett would do it in a second. If he wanted Brett to switch to another position, to go faster, go slower, Brett would do what he says.

It’s Brett’s first time. Of course Aleks will do what he wants.

So he leans down to capture Brett’s lips in a kiss, a quick act of reassurance, but the moment Aleks brings his head back up to look down into Brett’s eyes, he really starts to rethink that.

Brett’s one step ahead of him though. He always is.

He brings a hand to the back of Aleks’ head to pull him back down before he presses their lips together again, much deeper than before. Aleks moans into his mouth and tilts his head the other way to allow Brett more access into the mouth he’s already claimed months ago, and all Aleks can hear now is the quiet sound of Brett’s tongue taking what has always been his, and the beat of his own heart, which thrums with selfless concern.

The beat of his heart crescendos into something louder, it pulses in his ears the longer their lips stay connected, and then suddenly it stops.

There’s an eternity beat of soundless anticipation. Aleks can hear Brett drawing in his breath right before Brett whispers two important words against Aleks’ lips.

“I’m ready.”

It takes a few moments to realize what Brett is asking for again, because it’s still big, what he’s asking for, but when his mind is slotted back into that datastream containing his and Brett’s fantastical wonderland with each other, those two words echo over and over, until it almost becomes a lulling melody.

The melody sings to Aleks, gives him more confidence, enough for him to slowly, very slowly, withdraw himself from Brett until he’s at the tip, and he pushes back in at the same speed. His dark brown eyes bore into Brett’s own and just briefly wander over his face just to gauge his immediate reaction, though he has an idea of how Brett’s feeling with the hard grip Brett suddenly grabs at his shoulders with.

_ ”Fuck,”  _ Brett groans, long and guttural. His eyes screw tightly shut, his nails sink into Aleks’ skin, and his head pushes itself further back into the pillows.

“We good?” Aleks manages to say through gritted teeth, because wow, Brett’s hands hurt. “Want me to keep going?”

“Yeah, for sure.” Brett sighs before he takes in a deep breath. “Just kinda thinking, I dunno if those toys prepared me for you,” he breathes out a chuckle.

“Either way, I gotta break you in, before you fucking break me, anyways.”

“Am I hurting you?”

“A little bit. But what’s a bit of pleasure without a bit of pain, right?”

Brett’s chuckle comes out in a low rumble as his nails drag down Aleks’ shoulders to grab at his biceps. “That’s what I went into this thinking,” he murmurs. “Now start fucking me.  _ Please.” _

Even when Brett is on his back, legs spread with a dick all the way up his ass, he still naturally commands authority. It’s like when Aleks is the one on his back all spread out for him, he’s compelled to do what Brett says - even when he makes it clear to Brett who’s the real one in charge.

Because it’s not one person in charge. It never is.

Aleks and Brett are equals. It doesn’t matter what role they’re playing.

Brett likes to tell Aleks that he’s the moon to his stars, and they’ve discussed this many times. The moon is utter celestial magnificence, the satellite of Earth, but the pull from the Sun is far greater, and everyone knows that the sun is the biggest star of them all.

That sun is the center of gravity. So while it’s true that Brett is the stars to Aleks’ moon, so many little stars waiting for their moon, he is also the sun. The sun is equal to the day, as equal as the moon is to the night.

Aleks is the night and Brett is the day. One isn’t more superior to the other. Both are one of a kind.

Aleks’ thrusts start off easy. He takes his sweet time pulling out of Brett and pushing back in, just to allow him to really enjoy that sensation of being filled. It’s the best part of taking it, for that emptiness inside you to finally be satiated, and so far, it sounds like Brett is already getting the gist of that.

Brett’s moans come out every so often, a few seconds apart from each other in a rhythm. Sometimes they’re low and quiet, and sometimes he just gasps, like that one thrust hit differently than all the others.

He’s clinging to Aleks’ arms so tightly, with the intention to hold on at all costs, like they just put themselves in the midst of raging currents. In the currents, controlled by the passionate moon, Aleks is the steady rock that’ll keep Brett holding onto this lifetime,  _ their _ lifetime in realest terms.

The datastream they frequent with each other, that takes them out of the real world, is breaking down - and it has been for a good bit of time. Memory banks are fusing, baseplates corroding, control bubbles shattering, and circuits burning, but in the destruction of the datastream comes brand new life.

The reality of them is more colorful than ever and bursting with neon flavor. Sounds are pristine, no longer scratches on a chalkboard. Sights are crystal clear, not a blurred mishmash of things.

What was once a secretly shared constructed fantasy, held up by meticulously crafted wireframes and rounded polygons, where time is meaningless and love is forever, now has life.

And when Aleks looks up from their joined bodies, where he’s currently pistoning in and out, to gaze upon Brett’s face, the sentiment of that becomes much more clear.

Brett looks to be in utter pleasure. He’s constantly moaning, his eyes are screwed tightly shut like he’s trying to focus all of his power on this beautiful gift Aleks is giving him, that  _ only _ Aleks could give him. He’s breathing out subtle praise of “fuck, that’s it” and blissed utterances of the word “yes” and it motivates Aleks to give him more, to fuck him faster, fuck him harder, and the satisfaction he receives when Brett gives a long, drawn out cry in response is simply beyond description.

The satisfaction isn’t from the sex itself, although Brett’s real fucking tight and it feels real fucking good, better than Aleks could have ever imagined, but it’s derived from knowing that he’s the only one that has made Brett feel like this.

There is nobody in the world who has seen Brett in such a vulnerable state, all laid out on his back with his legs spread and bent, knees at his chest. It’s an ongoing display of trust, the more this continues, and the more it continues, the greater Aleks feels about himself, the greater Aleks feels about _ them _ as one unit and not separate individuals that have just happened to come together.

He wants to preserve this feeling and nurture it, that spark of  _ more, _ and so he keeps rolling his hips in a quick, but steady rhythm, something very akin to the inexorable action of waves on the coastline. That preoccupation with  _ more _ drives Aleks on with seemingly uncharacteristic zeal, and with a low groan of “fuck”, he brings up one of his hands to Brett’s throat to close it around, but he doesn’t squeeze, just holds Brett and his life in his caring hands, in much the same manner that Brett always does with him.

Brett rolls his lips back with a small whine and lids his eyes open to see the fiery determination all over Aleks’ face, his gritted teeth and dark eyes, and he brings up a hand to wrap it around the wrist over his throat. His fingers warmly curl around it and give it a squeeze, his lips part open, and all of time stops as Aleks’ eyes dip down to watch with awaitance for what will come, what he _ thinks _ will come.

Whatever Brett wants to say, it’s sitting at the tip of his tongue. Aleks knows his hips haven’t stopped, knows his moans and groans are still evergoing, but he doesn’t feel it, only feels the adrenaline burning through him, the adrenaline that comes with the possibilities of him and Brett.

The possibilities that flash through his consciousness of him and Brett, in this instant, could fill a book. This blend of mystical possibilities soar to almost ecstatic heights, where sensation and ideas blend into some kind of otherworldly euphoria. All of this arising from whatever the fuck is on Brett’s tongue, just dying to escape into the sex mist that has filled the volume of the room.

And then Brett whispers it.

Brett whispers three words.

“Kiss me. Please.”

It… sounds different. Not because it sounds different from how he’d say it otherwise, but as if he wanted to say something else, or Aleks _ thinks _ he wanted to say something else anyways.

Aleks’ heart drops and there’s a tinge of disappointment that stabs right into it. He doesn’t know what he thought Brett was going to say, but he thinks it would’ve fit right into that spark of  _ more. _

There’s more with him and Brett. It’s all Aleks has been able to think about this entire day, _ more, more, more, _ in a nagging mantra that subconsciously begs him to heed its words.

He needs to keep nurturing it in any way he can. So when Brett asks him for a kiss,  _ please, _ Aleks gives it to him, because why wouldn’t he give everything in the world to the man that’s brought him to such new heights and gifted him with far more opportunities than anybody else he’s ever known?

Why wouldn’t Aleks give everything to somebody who is so quickly  _ becoming _ his everything?

Their lips crash together, much more desperate than any of them had prepared themselves for. Brett’s other hand flies up to thread through Aleks’ hair, and Aleks’ other hand, the hand that isn’t lovingly holding onto Brett’s throat, rests beside Brett’s head before it slides up just that bit more to thread into Brett’s lovely dark mane of hair.

In this moment, Aleks feels immortal. He thinks he can withstand the tests and trials of time, he could be subjected to any torment knowing he has Brett, in some way. At the limitless miracles of Brett’s command, whether direct or underlying, Aleks feels capable of going through whatever life has in store for him.

There will be a moment where he must be reminded of the exquisite ugliness that comes from having to return to the real world from this datastream he and Brett share, but soon that ugliness will be polished, it will be refined, and the real world will fully, and officially, be a fantastical wonderland for him and Brett to share.

This notion, of Aleks and Brett as one cohesive unit, won’t be a construct of their shared minds forever.

Soon enough, they will be a permanent fixture into the operations of the universe. They will be a concept, perhaps not as big as the constructs of time and space, or the spectral lines, or how the moon and stars relate, but it will become a reality.

Soon.

Soon and surely.

One step at a time.


	31. The Light Of My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an unforgettable night, Aleks and Brett come to the mutual agreement that there's something more between them and they should finally give their relationship a label that expresses it as such.

**October 25th, 2017**

After the calm blues of an unforgettable night, the biggest star has taken its rightful place on the horizon once again.

It spreads its gold rays in every direction, arriving in the way that natural forces do - needing no invitation, but feeling its welcome. The light is the gift it brings, bold and free, for anyone who cares to witness the world awaken from its slumber.

Lately, Brett has come to appreciate the sunrise, a lot more than he has.

He spreads the butter over the pancakes, like a cake decoration. There’s a joy in how he does it, as if he were happily absorbed by feelings of love, which displays itself in his subtle smile and soft gaze. There’s an extra skip to his sidesteps as well - though that could just be a leftover limp from the meaningful activities of last night…

_ Brett throws his head back with a stunted cry and pushes the heel of his foot down into Aleks’ ass. “Oh, o-oh, fuck me, _ ** _fuck me, _ ** _ just like that, angel.” _

_ “I can feel you tightening around me,” Aleks breathes out as he looks down between them with a groan, watches how quickly his balls slap against Brett’s ass with his thrusts and hearing the moans from Brett everytime it happens. “You gonna come for me?” _

_ “If you keep fucking me like that and don’t stop, fuck _ ** _yes,_ ** _ I’m gonna come for you.” _

_ “Maybe daddy needs a little bit more.” Aleks looks back up to Brett as he runs a hand up his body to clamp around his throat, and he gives it a good enough squeeze. _

_ Brett’s eyes widen open as flashes of heat prickle at every point over his body. His moans and cries come out broken and chopped until suddenly, the pleasure rises to a point he can’t withstand. His eyes screw tightly shut and he arches his back off the bed with one final cry of Aleks’ name as his load spills out over his torso. _

It still hurts.

Brett can still feel Aleks inside him, stretching him out to limits that he didn’t even know he had, but he likes that dull pain. It reminds Brett of the wonderful gift they gave to each other last night, in the obvious of pleasure and the sentimentals of vulnerability, not only in himself but in Aleks.

It was a big night for the both of them in a shared first, and hopefully, they can have more nights like that. Not because of Brett taking it more, though he certainly wouldn’t mind, but because of how close he was to Aleks, and vice versa.

It wasn’t sex, what they had. What they had was similar, but it was far too desperate and intimate for it to just be this chase of pleasure. The pleasure was secondary to the primary benefit of feeling each other’s hot skin, hearing the other’s ragged breaths, and seeing the other watch them without any sort of restraint.

Brett and Aleks made love last night. Brett is sure of it.

Brett brings over the pancakes, for Aleks and himself, just another breakfast that has become a part of their daily rhythm. For the first time in awhile, he sees every day of his future and he wants it, more than anything he’s ever wanted before, and when he takes a seat across from Aleks, when he looks up to see him, Brett gets the impression that he’s not the only one.

“Are we more awake than before?” Brett asks quietly.

Aleks sort of just keeps staring at him, but he doesn’t seem aware that he’s doing it, not at first. It takes a few seconds until he blinks his eyes wider open, and with a slight blush tinging his cheeks, he quirks a smile. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Thanks for making breakfast while I slept in a little bit more.”

Brett winks as he grabs his fork. “It’s daddy’s job,” he assures. “No matter how awesome you fuck my ass.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t stop telling me about it all night afterwards.”

“Are you insinuating that I might’ve kept you up?”

“It’s not a bad thing you kept me up.”

Brett chuckles and looks down to his pancakes as he begins to cut up some for himself. “The amazing and mind blowing sex aside, there _ is _something important I gotta tell you.”

Aleks sits up more in his seat, his countenance more alert than before. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“So I kinda forgot to tell you, but I hired on an old friend of mine.” Brett shoves the bite into his mouth. “He got back to me this morning, said he could start this Friday. He used to do shit in Hollywood but I guess he got tired of that scene and wanted something new and honestly?” he chuckles. “Timing can _ not _be more perfect with Joe leaving in a few weeks.”

Matt sounded pretty excited to work for Cow Chop. Real excited, in fact, like he thinks it’s going to be this amazing and mind blowing experience like getting fucked in the ass would be.

Except not like that because Matt is very heterosexual.

Matt’s super cool though. He’s always been that monotone type, with the serious and deadpan sense of humor, and an interesting viewpoint on the way the world works, but Matt’s a genuine guy. Brett doesn’t expect him to suddenly start talking shit about everyone behind their back and go spouting less than progressive rhetoric.

Aleks sort of slumps a little in his seat and his lips press together as he looks down to his plate to begin cutting it up. “Who’s this friend? Is he hot?”

“I don’t think Matt would be your type,” Brett chuckles. “Although he is older, but he’s like, a twunk.”

“And me?”

“Still a twink.”

“A twink that fucked you last night.”

“You can be a twink that tops. That doesn’t mean you’re suddenly a daddy-”

“So what’s this about your twunk friend joining Cow Chop?”

“He’s just gonna be a cameraman, an editor, everything Joe’s been doing?” Brett looks up to Aleks after taking another bite. “Just kind of hope his expectations don’t fall flat because he thinks he’s gonna be doing on camera stuff like the most of us are. I don’t think he is, but, you know, something I can’t help but worry about.”

It’s a worry Brett always has with new hires, no matter how experienced they are in the industry or not. Cow Chop works hard to make it seem like it’s just a bunch of fun with friends, but it’s not. It’s work, and it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. It’s not this super fun, frathouse environment, it’s not some escape from the realities of the real world.

Though he supposes one could drown themselves in work to escape the real world, but Brett wants to be away from work as much as he can.

Only so he can fully enjoy what he has with Aleks.

“I think he’ll be fine if you say he’s worked in Hollywood before, I think he’ll get it,” Aleks shoves a bite into his mouth and then leans back against the chair. “You sure he’s not hot?”

Brett gasps in a dramatic fashion and puts his hands on his hips. “Aleksandr!” he exclaims. “You fucked me last night but you’re asking about another guy already? I thought what we had was special!”

The humorous air in the room is pulled back in like a vacuum.

It doesn’t happen immediately after what Brett says. It happens after a few seconds when Aleks just looks down to his plate again and doesn’t say anything. He just bites at his bottom lip and taps at his porcelain plate with his fork, as if he’s trying to delicately put some words together.

Brett furrows his eyebrows and then crosses his arms over his chest. “You good, angel?”

A few more seconds of silence. Until…

“Yeah,” Aleks says quietly, and then his eyebrows also furrow. “I think. Um… I mean…” He crosses his arms on top the table and looks up at Brett. “Why can’t it be special?”

Brett always pays attention to Aleks, even when he doesn’t completely understand what’s being said, trusting that it’ll all make sense at the end. Even if he doesn’t quite grasp everything being said, no matter how simple, he can see the outlines, he can see the patterns and rhythms of Aleks’ particular way of seeing and interpreting the world.

So he can get a semblance of what Aleks is going to tell him, knowing how Aleks interprets the world, but it doesn’t prepare him at all.

So Brett still asks, “what do you mean?”

“Remember what I told you, that one day in the park?”

“We had a lot of days in the park.”

“But there was one day in particular, we were sitting away from everyone else, and I told you that… that we were more.” Aleks rolls his lips back. “And that I didn’t know how much more, just knew that it was more than sex.”

Brett’s tongue sticks out to slowly lick along his lips and he looks down to his plate, bringing down a hand to grab at his fork and start twisting it around, trying to keep his attention somewhere else from Aleks so it’s not an overwhelming output of information he has to deal with.

“What about it?” Brett asks.

“I knew what it meant last night, for you to do that with me,” Aleks starts, “and I felt so close to you, and I-I like being that close to you. And… not just that, but I’ve felt that close to you for awhile now and I feel like what happened last night was…” He swallows heavily and runs his hand back through his hair, looking down to his plate for a second before he looks back up to Brett.

“I thought it was that _ thing _that finally pushes this from… just fun, just sex, into more.”

Aleks wants to be _ more. _

He wants… hopefully what Brett wants, but there’s so many things Aleks could mean - okay, there really isn’t, but Brett can’t just assume.

Aleks is the one who brought it all up. Aleks should be the one to tell Brett what he’s looking for, he should be the one to take charge of the conversation and lay out his cards on the table.

“So what _ is _ more to you?” Brett inquires. “Tell me what you’re looking for.”

“Being exclusive,” Aleks tells him. “We were already kind of exclusive, and I’m not saying I want to put labels on it or anything, but…” Aleks chuckles humorlessly and raises his eyebrows, almost in a pleading way. “Dude, we’re basically dating. It’d make sense to just say that we’re dating.”

Just like that, with none around to observe, and time shocked to a standstill, the datastream he and Aleks has falls into chaos and confusion, for the magnitude of the shock waves that roared through like a cosmic tsunami, were merciless beyond comprehension.

But the reality of them is thriving with possibilities that can withstand time and space.

Brett feels it, this spark of _ more. _ It starts as a spark but strengthens into a shockwave, and then a sudden thunderbolt that strikes him, passes him through the heavens and the supernovas and galaxies above, and his vision explodes with endless color. A renewed energy radiates off him - so close to his warm skin. The heat was immense, yet his body embraces its beauty and power, and that pulse of energy courses through his veins.

Brett has never felt so_ home _as he has in this instant.

His breath comes out in a shudder and a smile tickles at the corner of his lip before it brings it up into a visible grin. “Okay,” he says simply. “Did uh, did you want that to stay between us or-”

Aleks scoffs. “We could try,” he says, “but do you honestly think people won’t know something is up?”

Brett chuckles. “Guess you’re right,” he mumbles. “So uh… we’re just going into it then, huh?” He sits up and raises an eyebrow. “Dating?”

Aleks relaxes as a smile beams onto his face. “Yeah,” he answers. “I’d love to date you.”

This, like most things they’ve done with each other, happened so simple.

It’s rarely these grand displays of love, but easy and natural declarations. As much of a pretentious film student that Brett is, he prefers to keep it like this.

**Simple.**

“Then it’s a good thing that I’d love to date you too,” Brett tells him as he reaches his hand across the table, turning it over to expose his palm. “Perfect timing you have.”

Aleks looks down to Brett’s hand and immediately reaches his hand across to lay it on top of his before he intertwines their fingers together. He gives their hands a squeeze and his smile brightens when Brett squeezes back in return. “Just in time for that Halloween party next week too,” he mentions.

“Our coming out party,” Brett muses. “We even have the couple’s costume right down.”

“It’s like the universe knew before we did.”

The universe and Brett, but Brett’s not going to say that out loud.

Being in love with Aleks is going to make these decisions seem like a no brainer to Brett, and he knows that. He’s not going to be vindictive about it, he’s just going to be thankful that they’re making progress towards that next milestone.

“Well, the universe has its way in making things happen,” Brett sighs and takes away his hand to grab at his fork and knife. “Let’s just thank whatever god, if there is one, that the universe is on our side.”

Aleks smiles and looks to his pancakes with renewed interest before he begins to quickly stab and slice away. “We should make the universe a gift basket,” he says.

“That’s a nice-”

“Put sex tapes in there and shit.”

“You know what?” Brett drops his silverware to stand up from the table. “I forgot our drinks, I should go get those.”

“You don’t think the universe would find that hot?” Aleks asks as he quietly sets down his silverware to follow Brett to the fridge.

“You want orange or apple juice this morning?”

“Can I have you?”

“Maybe later toni- _ Aleks!” _ Brett laughs wildly as Aleks starts tickling him from behind. “Aleks, stop!!”

“Why don’t you make me?” Aleks grins hugely as he continues to attack Brett with his fingers. “This is what you’re going to get every morning now that you’re dating me. Do you regret it yet?”

Aleks could take Brett’s heart, rip it apart, and stomp on all the pieces before he asks Brett that question again, and the answer would stay the same.

_ No way in hell. _

Brett has no regrets, no _ what if’s, _ no _ if only’s. _

Brett just thinks about the future.

More importantly, Brett thinks about _ their _ future.

* * *

**October 27th, 2017**

This is far from the first time, since they started dating two days ago, that Aleks has been watching Brett with pure awe and admiration.

Brett’s always been that thing that burns away the drabness of the day, the routine clock in and clock out, the robotic and cold mechanization of routine life, but it’s much more apparent now.

Just two days ago. Two days ago was when Aleks’ life changed forever.

All he had to do was put his cards out on the table for Brett to look over and pick at, to analyze every discrepancy and break the cards down until they turn from two of hearts to a blank slate. On that blank slate, Brett could just toss it aside now that it has no value but he didn’t do that. Instead, he brought it new life.

The blank slate became the king of hearts then, with Aleks and Brett getting their equal share.

Brett’s just walking around the warehouse showing Matt around, and the both of them are chuckling and talking like it hasn’t been years and years since they last saw each other. Matt’s shorter than Aleks thought he’d be, and he has a bit of a wild head of brown hair, his outfit isn’t the most kept together, but neither is Aleks’ today.

Friday’s are typically quiet editing days, where no filming is done so people can have time to get videos finished and uploaded. Aleks and James typically aren’t needed on Friday’s so there’s no reason for them to be there but sometimes coming to the warehouse is a good motivator for their productivity.

Also, you know, Brett’s here. Aleks’ boyfriend, but not his boyfriend, because they’re not going to use labels for it, not_ yet, _and Aleks already took a risk so he’s not going to take another and completely ruin it all.

Aleks looks from Brett and Matt to his emails with furrowed eyebrows.

_ How would I even bring that up? _

“Ohhh, Aleksandr!”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and looks up from his computer to see the smirk on Brett’s face, and Brett’s hand resting right on top his monitor.

Instantly, Aleks smiles.

“Are you gonna stay away from our newest and awesomest hire or are you going to properly introduce yourself?” Brett asks.

“You were just busy, right?” Matt asks. “Don’t worry about it, dude-”

“Nah, dude, what’s up?” Aleks stands up. “You’re Matt, right? Brett says you’re pretty kick ass and it’s actually kind of nice to have a professional on board now,” Aleks chuckles and offers his hand. “Aleks. Cool to actually meet you.”

“Yeah.” Matt nods and takes Aleks’ hand to give it a polite shake. “Totally. Just let me know if you need me for any videos. Should be fun.”

Matt sounds like he’s ready to work! What a cool, nice guy with absolutely no ulterior motives at all!

Also, Matt’s actually like, done stuff in Hollywood. He’s worked for actual TV shows and some movies, for quite some time, so Aleks is pretty confident about him. It’ll be a bit of a nice change from somebody like Asher, where this is his first actual digital media job and is still kind of learning the work-life balance.

It’s not a knock on Asher either. He’s young. He’s figuring shit out.

It’s just that Matt figured his shit out years ago. Somebody like that could be a good influence.

“We try to make it look like fun,” Aleks tells him before he takes his hand away. “Just let me know if you got any questions, we’re all here to help you with anything you have.”

Brett chuckles and winks at Aleks. “You’re cute when you try to act all professional,” he murmurs. “You want lunch, Matt? I’m buying.”

Matt sort of squints his eyes with a weird little grin and he gives Aleks a quick once over before he looks to Brett with a nod. “Yeah, man, that’d be cool.”

“Sweet.” Brett pats a hand on Matt’s shoulder and then reaches out his other hand to ruffle Aleks’ hair. “I’ll bring ya back a nice dessert. You hold the fort.”

Aleks brings up his hands to start fixing his hair, his cheeks heating up. “Uh, yeah, for sure,” he mumbles.

Aleks looks up in time to see Brett smiling at him and shaking his head, almost in a fond way, before he fully begins to walk away with Matt.

He doesn’t have time to swoon over the way Brett’s smiling at him though, not when he sees James walking by with a less than chipper demeanor.

“Uh, are you good, dude?” Aleks asks with squinted eyes.

“I uh, think we should have a meeting next Friday,” James says quietly. “Just me, you, and Brett.”

Aleks blinks and looks over to Brett, who disappears right into the lobby of the warehouse. He swallows heavily and looks back to James, his body racing with adrenaline. “Is this about me and Brett?” he asks. “I thought you were supportive-”

“No, you guys are cool,” James assures. “It’s just - I think we should just save it for next Friday.”

“... not Monday?”

James scoffs. “You wanna have an important meeting before Halloween? Nah, man, I don’t wanna ruin the Halloween spirit.”

How delightfully ominous!

Why would a meeting ruin the Halloween spirit? That’s just, you know, _ work. _ It’s not different from any other meeting they’d have, unless this meeting was to discuss something bad but things have been looking up for Aleks lately.

Honestly, Aleks is having a hard time wondering what this meeting could be about. His mind goes through a plethora of possibilities, from the possible discussion of Asher’s work ethic, to new partnerships, and to whoever the mystery person is drinking all their alcohol in the fridge. What could be so bad that it’d ruin the spirit of Halloween?

Aleks sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “How bad is it? On a scale of 1 to 10?”

James rolls his lips back and shoves his hands into his jeans, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “I’d say…” He breathes in deeply and shrugs. “I dunno, it depends.” James looks back down to Aleks. “That’s why we’re having a meeting about it.”

_ Doesn’t answer my question but okay. _

Aleks bites at his lip and huffs through his nose. “Alright,” he sighs. “That’s fine.”

But it wasn’t really fine.

It’s not something Aleks can fret on though, especially when he has no idea what the fuck it could be about. Why should he fret over it anyways?

Aleks is finally dating Brett. It’s another step closer to actually becoming Brett’s boyfriend, whenever that may be, but Aleks is fine with not taking anymore risks for now.

He’s going to enjoy what they now have with each other, and he won’t let anyone or anything else get in the way of that. And then when Aleks is ready for more, when he can’t wait to be_ more _with Brett?

Aleks will let him know. There’s no time limit, not when he and Brett are concerned.

* * *

**October 31st, 2017**

It’s criminal how quick Brett raked these leaves in the time it takes Aleks to put on his devil costume for the Halloween party tonight.

Brett had worn his angel costume to the office today, or he wore part of it at least. It consists of his cool white pants, a white turtleneck sweater with the sleeves rolled up because he’s not a _ barbarian, _even if he does like to look like one sometimes. He also wears white boots, and for tonight, he’s donning his circular rimmed glasses. He left the halo and wings at home, and he’ll slip them on before they leave.

It’s not the most Halloween costume he’s ever worn. Brett tends to go for the goofy and silly costumes, the pop culture references, but doing a couple sort of thing with Aleks was so enticing and he’s enjoying it more than he should.

Or it _ was _ more than he should, but now they’re dating! He can enjoy it as much as he wants!

With a big smile at the thought, Brett hops back into the pile of leaves with a giggle and looks up into the inky blackness of the night, not the calm blues of his and Aleks’ walk on the beach under moonlight a few nights prior.

The moon is still bright as ever, however. It’s like an ocean above him, lessening the blackness, but it isn’t so bright as to dull the glistening stars, which are like a choir aiding in the serenade of the night - music for the eyes, Brett thinks.

He’s brought out from that brief thought when he hears the back door open and he raises his head to see Aleks in his devil costume, red pants and red adidas shoes, a long sleeved red shirt, and red devil horns on a black headband over his head. It looks like he’s wearing black fingerless fishnet gloves on his hands, and black leather bracelets, and in his hands, he’s holding-

“Bro, is that a collar?” Brett chuckles. “I know we’re kind of dating but-”

“It’s for the costume,” Aleks cuts him off with a small grin. “Are you into it though? Showing everyone what a slut I can be for you?”

“Now that you mention it-”

“No.”

Brett rolls his eyes and sits up in the pile before standing up fully, wiping the leaves off from his white jeans. “Need my help putting it on?”

“That would be the daddy thing to do, yes.”

“Come to daddy then.”

Aleks comes on over to hand the collar to Brett, bearing it like it was a gift, and after Brett takes it from him, he turns around with clasped hands like the supposed angel that he is despite his costume.

“Can I ask you something?” Brett asks.

“Isn’t it too early for you to propose?”

“Wasn’t at all what was going through my mind.” _ Not yet. _ “You’re the one bringing it up, by the way.”

Aleks takes in a deep breath and looks up to the sky. “What was your question?”

“Did you suggest these costumes because you genuinely thought they’d be cool or because you wanted to do couple stuff with me?”

Aleks smirks. “The second one.”

“Second question. How long have you been wanting to do couple stuff with me?”

Aleks opens his mouth, like the words will just come out of him so quickly, but they don’t and instead, he just looks down to the ground and bites at his lip. “Uh… I’m not uh, sure?” he says uh, unsure. “Didn’t uh, quite realize what these feelings I had were until last night. Like, I’m sure it happened before that night but I wouldn’t have known when, you know?”

Brett purses his lips together right as he clasps the collar snugly around Aleks’ neck. “No, that makes sense,” he affirms quietly. “Feelings are complicated, man.”

Honestly, Brett was hoping that Aleks would’ve told him that exact moment where he looked at Brett and thought _ “I wish he could be mine”... _

… or he just needs a bit of push into that direction.

He crosses his arms over his chest and taps his fingers against them as he makes his way back to the pile of leaves again, big enough for two. “You wanna know the moment where I looked at you and realized I wanted to date you?”

Aleks turns to look at Brett with squinted eyes, which would make Brett nervous if Aleks didn’t accompany that with a sweet little smile. “I really wanna know that, actually.”

And that’s when Brett realizes that he _ totally _ gets why Aleks would be hesitant about telling him the moment that made him realize, _ “I wish he could be mine.” _

Brett’s moment was far,_ far _ back in the year, before they even started fucking. What if Aleks knew that Brett was wanting this for that long?

He can’t screw up something so new, so beautiful already. But he can’t just leave Aleks with nothing, especially when Brett’s the one who fucking brought it up!

Brett is thankful that he was gifted with the ability to think on his feet.

He turns to face Aleks as he plops himself back in the pile once more, and then he looks up into the sky. “It was uh, it was when you showed me that ski resort,” Brett tells him.

Aleks blinks and slowly makes his way to the pile. “That?” he asks. “That was the moment for you?”

“Does it need to be some big moment out of a movie?” Brett tells him. “Why can’t it be those simple moments, dude?” he asks right as he feels the leaves shift, feels Aleks’ presence right next to him. “Why can’t it be just me looking at you and thinking, _ huh, it’d actually be pretty cool if we were dating.” _

Though he does feel, for what they have and what he feels for Aleks, that they deserve a grandiose moment, it is perhaps the simple moments that mean that much more.

The simple moments happen when they’re going through life’s daily rhythms with each other. They don’t need to sit on a yacht together in the middle of the sparkling ocean, looking up into the night skies to admire the constant and colorful displays of fireworks, and then to look over at the other and realize that what they were looking for has been there the whole time.

Brett doesn’t need some intricate display to realize his love for Aleks. Just a realization that the daily routine of his life would fit better with Aleks by his side.

“So you realized it barely a month ago?” Aleks asks.

It takes a moment before Brett slowly nods his head in response. “Uh, yeah. Pretty uh, pretty much.”

Aleks gives a nervous chuckle. “Oh.”

Brett’s chuckle is a bit more humorous than Aleks’, however. “That’s the most nervous _ oh _ I’ve ever heard.”

“I mean, I realized it earlier than that.”

“Oh?” Brett’s eyebrows pique with intrigue. “How much earlier?”

There’s silence again. Aleks has a habit of that, creating a silence.

It just gives Brett time to look at Aleks and let his eyes roam all over him. At this point, he knows Aleks’ body well enough that he can’t find anything new to wax internal poetry about, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still a wonderful display of art for his eyes to marvel over.

Aleks is a work of art Brett can never put a price on.

“It was like…” Aleks nods his head side to side. “Uh, right after we fucked the second time? When you got back from that trip?” His eyebrows furrow together as he looks over to Brett, his lips pursed a little over to the side.

This time, the silence comes from Brett’s end, but only for a few moments. In those few moments, Brett’s immediate priority is to put Aleks at ease.

So he admits the truth.

“It was looking at you in that Walgreen’s.”

Aleks blinks. Then he chuckles, “what?”

“PAX 2017,” Brett reminds him. “In Boston. It was the day after I got you some medicine for whatever sickness you had, and we went to this Walgreen’s, and you were looking at chips and I just looked at you for a moment and that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t you showing me those ski resorts.”

_ That story won’t be for another day. _

Brett didn’t even think hard about it. He just wanted Aleks to feel comfortable at his possible expense, didn’t want Aleks to think he had to hide anything from him despite the fact that Brett has told him many times that it’s not necessary. That knowledge doesn’t always win out over the irrational part of their brains, the part that can manifest doubts and anxieties, though it hasn’t been as strong since he and Aleks started dating.

They’ve only been dating for not even a week, but already, Brett’s life has changed forever, and for the better.

And Brett doesn’t even have time to be anxious or worried about what Aleks could say, because soon, Aleks is laughing and telling Brett, “we’re fucking stupid.”

Brett has never been so happy to be called stupid in his life.

Brett laughs in return, mostly with relief. “Uh, yeah dude, we kind of fucking are.”

His laughter dies down into a sigh and then he reaches over to take Aleks’ hand. “But we’re here now,” Brett says quietly. “Doesn’t matter how stupid we are, just as long as we’re together now.”

Brett squeezes their hands together and looks over to Aleks with a tranquil smile, the most peaceful Brett has looked in awhile.

Aleks’ smile mirrors Brett in its tranquility and he pulls himself closer to press up against Brett’s side and duck his head against his neck, watching for his horns so they don’t poke him.

“We gotta make up for lost time though,” Aleks murmurs. “I hope you know that.”

“I’d say all the awesome sex was a good filler in the meantime, but I’m with you on that.”

“By the way, are we gonna have that tonight? Awesome sex?”

“Don’t we every night?”

“Never hurts to ask.”

Brett hums and brings his arm over to wrap around Aleks’ waist and urge him on top his body. “It doesn’t,” he tells him. “Yes, we’ll have awesome sex tonight. But right now, I wouldn’t mind an awesome makeout session.” He raises a knowing eyebrow along with a smirk and moves his hands to hold onto Aleks’ waist. “You wanna kiss from an angel?”

“Only if you don’t mind being corrupted by a devil.”

“If the devil is you?” Brett whistles. “So worth it, baby.”

With a low chuckle, Aleks holds onto the sides of Brett’s face and tilts his head before he leans down to capture Brett’s lips in the start of what will be an awesome makeout session.

Ever since they’ve decided to start dating, life has come together in a steady flow. Brett isn’t thinking so hard, he’s just doing. It’s not this constant worry of saying something to scare Aleks off, and even when it flashes through his mind, Aleks is quick to assure him otherwise.

It still feels like just yesterday they finally took the next level in their relationship. A week has nearly gone by and not much has changed, only the squandering of their lingering doubts and anxieties. There’s not some significant event or big worry in the week they’ve been dating, just him and Aleks living their lives in that daily rhythm with each other, with more certainty than ever before.

It’s 100%. Not a 0 or a 20, a 50 or a 75, or a 90 and a 99.99, but a **100.** Brett never knew how freeing it could be, to know that he and Aleks are a fact and no longer just an ideal.

He and Aleks are one cohesive unit now. They always have, but now it’s official.

Next step? Putting the labels on that cohesiveness.


	32. A Bridge Between Worlds

Aleks can barely hear Brett’s car door close while he observes Bruce’s home. It’s not super nice, it actually sort of looks like Brett’s on the outside but slightly bigger, and much more accommodating for any sort of party.

Truth be told, Aleks kind of likes the coziness Brett’s home provide. He knows they’re not going to be throwing parties anytime soon, but they can always go out to a club if they wanna do that. They can’t go out to a club if they want to cuddle under some blankets and watch whatever Netflix has to offer.

_ That doesn’t sound too bad right now. _

“You ready to head in?”

Aleks raises his eyebrows and turns his head to see Brett looking at him with a small smile.

Brett chuckles. “What’cha thinkin’ about, hot stuff?”

“Am I hot stuff because I’m the devil?”

Brett shrugs. “I guess,” he says as he reaches his hands back to fiddle with his angel wings. “But you are also incredibly hot.”

“That’s gay,” Aleks teases.

“Dating me is pretty gay too.”

_ He’s got me there. _

It’s still unbelievable to Aleks, that they’re actually dating. They don’t have a succinct label on it but you know what? They don’t need it. They know what this is, and they don’t need to explain it to other people, that they’re exclusively dating each other but aren’t necessarily boyfriends.

People do that all the time, declare that they’re dating without actually calling the other their significant other. It just shows that they’re exclusive, that they plan to move this into something more official, and that they’re currently not looking to get with anybody else.

Tonight is the first time he and Brett are actually going to show off that side of their relationship, the side that hides itself behind closed walls of a comfortable, secure home, where time and space cease to be a construct and everything outside the walls is just dust in the ethereal wind.

So as much as Aleks wants to take it easy with Brett at home and just enjoy them, he’s excited to show off Brett as his new role in being Aleks’ better half tonight.

His body shivers at that thought. God, dating Brett is awesome.

Brett comes around to Aleks’ side and reaches to take his hand before he looks off into the windows of Bruce’s home, where flashing colors of red and yellow can be seen. “You wanna go in like this?” he asks. “How were you wanting to show it tonight?”

Aleks looks over to the colors behind the window as he gives Brett’s hand a squeeze. “Just be ourselves,” he answers softly before he looks over to Brett, a smile equally soft tinging his lips. “Go with the flow.”

Brett smiles back and affirms his answer with a nod. “Just making sure we’re on the same page.” Then he leans forward to kiss Aleks on the corner of his lips before he turns to lead them up the stone pathway, up the stairs of the porch, and Bruce is already opening the door, in a sexy nurse outfit, before Brett can even knock.

**[ ****♪ ]** **_Alex (ft. Mecha Maiko & TOKYO ROSE) - Cursed II_**

Aleks peers his head to look over Bruce’s shoulder, his eyes following the interplay of lights and shadows and the dance of warm colors embodying Halloween all over Bruce’s humble abode. He can see Bruce’s kitchen, where James and Elyse are currently conversing with Adam, and he can see red drink cups in their hands, and he’s dying to get inside now to at least get some nice alcohol in his system.

Maybe not too much alcohol. He doesn’t want to be a nuisance for Brett, the designated driver, tonight - also, they kind of have to film stuff tomorrow. Hangovers are _ not _ sexy.

_ “Now that we’ve come this far, I bet their eyes are watching us move.” _

  
  


“I knew I heard some people!” Bruce smiles brightly at the two and he just barely glances down to their joined hands, and then he _ really _looks at their joined hands-

“We’re dating,” Brett tells him casually. “So can we-”

“Elyse!” Bruce calls out as he looks back into his home, and he sidesteps against the door to let the two in. “You, me, and James won the betting pool!”

_ “Burning the candle twice as bright as we intended to.” _

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together. “What were you guys betting on?”

“You guys!” James answers as he appears out of nowhere. “Bruce, Elyse, and I figured you two had something going on, everyone else just thought it was two dudes being dudes.”

“Two guys can be close without it meaning anything!” Adam groans as he shoves a $100 bill into the hands of Bruce and James, and then he looks over to Brett and Aleks with his hands on his hips. “But congratulations,” he says. “When did it start happening?”

_ “Don’t fight it, or else it won’t come true.” _

People were placing _ bets _ on _ him and Brett? _

… Aleks wants to ask if he and Brett were that obvious, but even he knows they weren’t being subtle.

Doesn’t mean he wants people to talk about it though.

… he kind of does. Or, he _ did _ because it was the only thing giving him this hope that it’s not just him looking into Brett’s behavior with him, but he and Brett are dating now, so Aleks knows he wasn’t looking into things.

Everything is fine now. Everything is falling into place.

Haha. People were placing bets! On him and Brett! Just goes to show that maybe, just maybe, this was meant to be all along.

Aleks can hope.

_ “Such thoughts were much too flawed for you.” _

Brett takes his hand from Aleks’, but just so he can give his shoulder a good rub instead. “Started dating last week.”

“Like, 6 days ago,” Aleks correct, and then he scoffs and shrugs. “But hey man, who’s counting?”

_ “I need you to try and understand.” _

Bruce sighs and looks back out into his home, at all the people drinking and enjoying the music. ”I’m still counting the days me and Autumn have been together,” he assures. “Why don’t you wanna remember how long a good thing like that has been?”

“One of us needs to remember.” Brett looks to Aleks with a smile before he leans in to kiss his cheek. “It’s gotta be you, not my pensioner ass.”

_ “If you’re to take my hand…” _

Aleks raises a hand to his cheek and shares that smile with Brett. “You’re not that old.”

“I’m getting there.”

“I’d still date you either way.”

“And I’m very thankful for that, believe me.”

“Okay, _ okay, _ we get it!” Adam throws up his hands. “You two are very happy together and it’s disgusting. Are you guys gonna join in on the party-”

_ “Constrict the voice that says it’s just a joke.” _

Everybody stops and turns their heads to see a few people dragging over a table into the main area, a few others following behind with tequila, limes, and a salt shaker. It’s not immediately obvious what they’re doing until they all start chanting two wonderful words, over and over again.

“BODY SHOTS!”

_ “Nah, this is just between all of us,” Brett answers as he grabs the lime to place into Aleks’ open mouth, watching him gently bite down on the fruit to keep it in place before he reaches for the salt shaker. “You want this, Aleks?” _

_ Aleks nods quickly and watches Brett sprinkle the salt in a somewhat jagged line over his belly button. _

_ “You really sure?” Brett asks. _

_ Aleks slams his eyes shut and nods again with an irritated groan before his eyes widen open to stare pleadingly at Brett. _

_ Brett reaches to grab Aleks’ hands in both of his to pin them by the sides of his head and a few people in the crowd give low whistles, they eagerly look on as Brett’s head moves down to Aleks’ stomach. _

“Dude!” Aleks exclaims as he steps out of Brett’s hold. “I wanna do a body shot, fuck yeah!”

_ “Restricted feelings at the base of the oak.” _

“Wait a second!” Elyse steps in with her hands spread out. “Off Brett? Isn’t that body hair going to get in the way?”

Brett just snorts. “I don’t think that’s ever stopped him.”

Elyse sighs, blinks a few times, and then does a salute. “Brave men.”

_ "I know there’s something that you cast on me.” _

Aleks was drunk as hell that fateful night, but he remembers everything that happened with surprising clarity. He can still feel the heat of Brett’s lips over his stomach, that wandering tongue cleaning up the salt, and the flow of the lime juices leaking into his mouth after Brett bit down on it before he spat it out to crash their lips together.

Of course Aleks remembered everything about that night. That was the night that marked the start of them, the night that changed the course of his and Brett’s relationship forever.

So body shots are kind of special to Aleks now. That certainly wasn’t the last time they did a body shot off each other, and they’ve done it in other clubs and other house parties since then, but that first time especially is always going to be the most sentimental to Aleks.

Knowing that, why wouldn’t he want to do a fucking body shot off Brett in their first official night together?

_ “So should we set it free?” _

“You guys wanna do a body shot?” asks… some woman in a creepy looking Silent Hill nurse outfit, bandages wrapped all around her face, though she does sound familiar.

“Yeah guys, Autumn can get you ready for that!” Bruce offers.

Oh! He’s a nurse! She’s a nurse! Yes, that all makes sense.

“Ahhh, it’s okay.” Brett reaches up to adjust the halo over his head. “Me and Aleks are body shot connoisseurs, we got this.”

**[ ****♪ ]** **_Duke Dumont - Ocean Drive_**

Autumn just shrugs. “I’ma still watch.”

“Oh, count me in too.” James steps up. “I didn’t see you guys do that body shot back in Austin.”

“Was it that significant?” Brett asks.

“Not really,” James answers. “But I wished I could’ve been there to see what happened after. I heard you two got a little crazy.”

_ “We’re riding down the boulevard.” _

Aleks chuckles lowly as he makes his way to the dining table, where the tequila, lime, and salt shaker has been set. “Just a little bit,” he says, and while Brett makes his way to lie on top the table, Aleks’ mind flashes him back to the events after the body shot.

_ Brett tightens his hold around Aleks’ waist and with the other hand, he grabs the back of Aleks’ hair to gently coax his head back, and then he surges forward to latch his teeth onto his collar bone to suck on the skin. _

_ “I wasn’t done kissing youuu,” Aleks whines. “Come back.” _

_ “Hey,” Brett mumbles, “I know what I’m doing.” _

_ Aleks closes his eyes and relaxes on Brett’s lap, moving his hands from Brett’s shoulders downwards to grab onto the collar of his shirt. _

_ After about a minute, Brett pulls away and kisses the spot. He then proceeds to kiss back up to Aleks’ lips to leave one more chaste kiss before he loosens the grip on his hair. “Wanna head back to our room? Continue it there?” _

_ “Dude, fuck yes,” Aleks laughs with excitement and tries to climb off Brett’s lap, pouting when Brett tightens his hold even more. “Come onnn, let’s go!” _

_ “We need to leave a birthday message for Joe!” Brett tells him as he grabs the phone that James left behind. “Bro, we would be terrible friends if we didn’t do that for him!” _

And that was just what happened in the bar immediately after. Nobody knows what all they got up to, or almost got up to, once they got back to their hotel room.

“Okay, chief.” Brett claps his hands and raises his head a bit from the table to look at Aleks. “Where you putting the salt?”

_ “We’re riding through the dark night.” _

A really drunk guy none of them knows suggests, “how about his dick”, and starts to laugh like a goblin before he stumbles and falls back onto his ass.

Aleks snorts.

_ Definitely later. _

“Uhhh, so many good places to put it, you know?” Aleks’ eyes rake over Brett’s body, while everyone else’s eyes go back and forth between him and Brett.

_ “With half a tank and empty heart.” _

Soon, Aleks’ eyes zero in on Brett’s neck, totally clean and spotless.

That needs to be changed.

Aleks takes the salt shaker and uses his other hand to gently tilt Brett’s head. “Turn your head onto your side,” he tells him. “Your neck’s really grabbing all my attention right now.”

Brett chuckles and does as he’s told. “Funny, I was just thinking about how lonely my neck has been.”

_ “Pretending we’re in love, but it’s never enough!” _

“Won’t be lonely for long,” Aleks says in a murmur as he gently rests a hand on Brett’s throat, keeping him steady while he sprinkles the salt over the side of his neck.

_ You’ll never be lonely as long as I’m here. _

Aleks then takes the lime and reaches his hand over, waiting for Brett to open his mouth before Aleks place the lime between his teeth. Before Aleks can ask him, Brett’s already lifting up his shirt to expose his stomach, the hairy trail leading down and vanishing under the waistband of his white pants, but more importantly, his belly button.

It’d probably be more simple, to just take his tequila shot from the glass, but this is _ so _much more hot.

_ “As the sirens fill the lonely air…” _

Myriads of warm colors still whirl around the room and paint the costumers in broad strokes. It places an emphasis on their actions, whether it’s dancing or drinking, talking or turning, but either way, everybody seems much more magical tonight, no longer an ordinary person.

When it's Halloween night, there are no ordinary people. There's a ubiquitous sparkle of magic that laces every happening of the day and that kind of thing inspires people to unleash those sides of themselves they usually keep hidden so they can continue their successful masquerade of a person with normalcy.

For Aleks, however, being with Brett_ is _ his normalcy.

_ “Oh, how did we get here now, now, now, babe?” _

Pouring the tequila into Brett’s belly button, feeling up Brett’s warm skin, trading flirtations with Brett in front of a crowd should be so daunting for their first time together like this, but Aleks has never been so comfortable, and he’s never been so natural.

He wouldn’t say he acts like a different person in front of Bruce, or James, or Elyse, but he definitely doesn’t show every single little thing about him or his personality.

But he does with Brett. With Brett, he can express those facets of himself effortlessly and without a care.

_ “We see a storm is closing in.” _

Aleks takes both of Brett’s hands in his, intertwines their fingers together, and then pins them by the sides of Brett’s head as he surges down to press his tongue flat against Brett’s neck. He tantalizingly laps at the beads of salt over that tan neck, the taste of salt and Brett’s natural savoriness filling his mouth, and he can’t help but latch onto the skin underneath to leave a mark that’s, honestly, much needed.

_ “Pretending we ain’t scared!” _

The taste of Brett, the feel of Brett, the sounds of Brett, they all overload Aleks’ senses, and it leads to a consequent estrangement from the world around them. Aleks doesn’t hear the people cheering them on, or the people having side conversations as they watch, like this is so normal for them to see Aleks and Brett in such a manner. The flash of warm colors in his peripheral is just a monochrome musing for the moment, despite how vivid they’ve always been,

And yet, Aleks has never felt so at one with their world until now.

_ “Don’t say a word while we dance with the devil!” _

He makes his mark on Brett’s neck and admires it for a few seconds when he pulls away, his eyes darkened but glimmering with the colors of a flame that burn as hot as his desire for the man beneath. Aleks squeezes Brett’s hands again and he drinks in the quiet moans Brett gives around the lime before he moves down to really drink in the tequila, but the shot is just a step down the path that’ll lead to what Aleks is really wanting.

_ “You brought a fire to a world so cold.” _

Quickly after swallowing down his shot fully, when it still burns his throat, he bites down on the lime in Brett’s mouth and drops it off to the side before he sloppily crashes their lips together, a cheer ringing through the room but not Aleks’ ears, for he’s drowning in the experience named _ Brett Hundley. _

Their lips touch and in a micro instant, Aleks can feel the complete and utter destruction of their shared datastream. Their systems that are running the celestial datastream are clicking off and shutting down, their mechanized vessels exploding and their souls escaping to finally be interwoven within the fabrics of reality.

_ “We’re out of time on a highway to never - hold on!” _

Aleks' reality is composed of many fabrics, like most people. Each event is a thread that stitches these fabrics together, each one coming together to form a unique masterpiece that's built upon a developing timeline.

Some of these threads stitch the memories of Aleks being a lovestruck boy that heeds Brett's every word, longs for his approval, and swoons over everything Brett does.

Aleks wants to think he's come a long way since then. He wants to think that he's no longer so obviously lovestruck, no longer so desperately eager like he's in love or anything, but he really can’t help but be himself, in every single way, around Brett. Seeming too lovestruck is a small price to pay for the immense comfort of being who he is without any masks.

And it's not like he's blurting out,_ I love you, _ anytime soon.

_ “Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” _

In the ending throes of their kiss, Brett pulls himself up by his core and Aleks steps back to accommodate him. Brett gives their hands a hard squeeze, one that makes Aleks let go of their hands, and then with a grin, Brett is pulling away…  
  
… but not without one more kiss to Aleks’ lips. Aleks always likes it when Brett does that.

_ “We’re running all the red lights down.” _

“We’ll have more fun alone tonight,” Brett whispers against his lips.

“Is that a promise?” Aleks asks, his grin mirroring Brett’s.

_ “No way that we can stop, nah, nah.” _

“Yes.” Brett kisses him once more. “And I don’t break my promises, especially not with you.”

“Your promises with everyone else?”

_ “A quarter tank and almost gone.” _

Brett shrugs. “I try my best, obviously. But you’re the one I’m always thinking about.”

When Aleks’ eyes converge upon Brett’s face, those warm eyes behind circular rimmed glasses and that magnificent beard that the most fierce vikings are jealous of, the images fall wayside and then, Aleks isn’t finding a sequence of images that make up Brett but rather sounds, of something heard.

_ “Pretending we’re in love, but it’s never enough!” _

He goes through all of the reassuring sayings Brett has told him in his mind, from the small utterances of “angel” and “babe”, to the bigger things, like when he said Aleks could tell him to jump and he’d just ask how high, to when he told Aleks that he just cares about spending time with him in some way, and then to now when he says Aleks is the one he’s always thinking about.

The essence of Brett is a loyal and loving man that puts his loved one first, above all else.

Not that Aleks is a loved one like that. They only just started dating, and they might have been wanting this awhile, longer than Aleks thought, but if Brett was in love with him, Aleks wants to think he would know.

_ “I wish we could take it back in time.” _

Either way, they do love each other on some level. They have a great deal of respect and care for each other and that’s only going to grow the more they continue to be together - _ officially _ be together.

And Aleks just so happens to be the kind of person that puts their loved one first, above all else, too.

“Alright, alright.” James steps up and holds out his hands. “That was hot, guys, but I think me and Bruce can do something just a bit hotter.”

_ “Before we crossed the line, no now, baby.” _

Brett holds up his hands in surrender as he slides off the table to stand on his own two feet again. “Be my guest,” he offers. “Blow us away.”

“And there ain’t gonna be no body hair stopping me!” James walks up to the table and slams down his fists. “LET’S DO THIS!”

_ “We see a storm is closing in.” _

“WOO!” Bruce cheers and throws himself down onto the table. “GIVE IT TO ME!”

Aleks, Brett, and everybody else watch the two get their body shot ready with wary smiles, amusement brightening their eyes, but Elyse is just watching with a curious expression on her face, like she’s trying to wonder how exactly this is going to play out.

She_ was _ the one who brought up the body hair thing. Bruce has tons of it.

_ “I reach out for your hand.” _

It’s when Bruce shivers at the tequila poured into his tequila that Aleks hears Adam and Matt (Peake!) having a conversation about… a particular bridge in California where people frequent, particularly on a late, spooky night.

It’s a bridge that people don’t exactly go to for sightseeing.

_ “Don’t say a word while we dance with the devil!” _

“Last Halloween, me and Jess went down to that Pasadena Bridge with like, some knock off Ghost Hunter gear,” Adam tells him. “And then it ended up not working so we just fucking walked around but it was still really creepy.”

“I was gonna head down there sometime this weekend,” Matt replies. “With actual ghost hunting gear.”

_ “You brought a fire to a world so cold.” _

That’s when Aleks hears someone whispering into his ear.

_ “Boo.” _

“JESUS CHRIST!” Aleks shouts and turns around to see Brett giggling at him like he’s the funniest god damn person in the world.

He kind of is.

_ “We’re out of time on a highway to never - hold on!” _

“You are_ so cute,” _ Brett purrs and steps up to Aleks to pinch both his cheeks and Aleks wrinkles his nose, closes his eyes and grumbles under his breath.

“M’not,” Aleks mumbles. “I’m _ handsome.” _

_ “Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” _

“You’re both. Idiot.”

Aleks would complain but then Brett is taking him by the hand, leading him through the room and down some hallway that nobody is in,_ holy fuck, Brett’s gonna fuck me! _

“So I have this cool idea, right?” Brett starts.

_ “Don’t say a word while we dance with the devil!” _

Aleks grins and nods, his gaze dipping down to that beautiful ass he fucked last week. “Mmm, tell me all about it.”

“Let’s sneak out,” Brett says. “Go investigate that bridge together.”

_ Oh. _

But that is like, totally what Aleks was thinking earlier!

_ “You brought a fire to a world so cold.” _

“Bro!” Aleks exclaims. “That’s totally what I was thinking earlier!”

“I mean, I honestly just want an excuse to be alone with you because I’m gradually getting sick of being around people that aren’t, you know, _ you, _ but it’d still be cool. It’ll be like the time we went to those rail tunnels, but now it’s romantic. Ooh la la.”

_ “We’re out of time on a highway to never - hold on!” _

All Brett wanted was to be alone with Aleks, just like how Aleks wanted to be alone with him at the beginning of the night.

Their minds always seem to be in sync. Brett will be thinking something and then it’ll turn out Aleks was thinking the same thing.

They ride that same wavelength, they have been for awhile but it seems like the more time they spend together, the closer they get on that wavelength and one day, they’re going to end up sharing the same exact tune, at the same exact pitch and frequency.

It’ll be a tune that everybody will see. They’ll be Aleks and Brett, Brett and Aleks, not Brett _ or _ Aleks, not Aleks _ or _ Brett.

Aleks can’t get over it; how perfect they are.

Aleks reaches up his free hand to tug at the collar of Brett’s turtleneck and leans in to leave a chaste peck to his lips before he pulls away to look into his eyes with a sweet smile.

_ “Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” _

“Don’t need excuses to be alone with me,” he says quietly into the sliver of space between them. “Leave in an hour?”

Aleks has never been so happy to hear the words_ fuck, yes _in his life.

* * *

Brett doesn’t give a fuck at all about ghost hunting, so he’s pretty glad that he and Aleks’ feelings on wanting to ditch everybody just to be alone with each other is mutual.

It’s not like they left immediately! They stuck around for an hour _ and a half, _thirty minutes past their estimate, and then Aleks faked a headache and oh man, bro, his acting was so sick! Brett genuinely thought he had a headache and was all concerned and then when they got into Brett’s car, Aleks was fine again and that’s when Brett figured it all out.

He sure is sneaky, that Aleks. Brett likes that quality to him though.

And if Aleks wasn’t sneaky, would he have suggested that he and Brett make out under the god forsaken underpass of the bridge, amongst the scattered bushes and hidden under the rustling branches where they can’t be seen?

Okay, it’s probably a mix of sneaky and stupid, but fuck it, he ain’t saying no to making out with his hot twink boy toy.

It’d be_ boyfriend _ if they were at that stage, but they’ll get there. That’s the next step in their path to forever love and happiness with each other.

They left the accessories to their outfits in the car, so no glasses or halos or wings, no horns or tails, but that studded leather collar is still clasped around Aleks’ neck and Brett is all about it. It’s actually kind of amazing how Brett got through that whole party without doing some sort of raunchy shit to Aleks in there.

Aleks in a collar is way too powerful. It’s a physical reminder that Aleks is his and Brett appreciates those reminders, in what a thing uniquely_ is _ instead of what things are uniquely _ said. _

Brett pulls away from Aleks’ lips to get his breath back and then with a slight groan, he brings up a finger to slide it under the front of Aleks’ collar. He quickly tugs Aleks forward and Aleks gives a small whimper as his hands fist in Brett’s sweater.

“I could just fuck you under here, ya know,” Brett says in a gravelly tone.

“Think we could get away with it?” Aleks breathes out and looks down to Brett’s lips, and he licks along his own.

“You see anyone else around here?”

They’re all alone down here. It’s just Brett and Aleks… and a haggard looking man that reeks of alcohol.

“Ya want me to join in?” slurs the man, who looks Brett up and down in a… predatorial fashion.

There’s a lot of things Brett tends to forget when he’s horny for Aleks. The homeless population residing under the Pasadena Bridge is one of those things, and now that he’s remembering, they really need to hightail their way back to the actual bridge itself before a homeless guy with a crowbar starts to follow them around.

“Our friends are actually looking for us,” Aleks comments as he takes Brett’s hand. “James and Lindsey. We’re investigating the bridge. Sorry, dude.”

Then he’s quickly tugging Brett along with surprising strength, and he actually yelps at how effortless it seems to be, because he forgets how strong Aleks can be sometimes. Not as strong as him, of course, but people underestimate what Aleks can do. They see somebody with a body more designed for fluid movements, as opposed to Brett’s that just projects strength and solidity.

When they reach the stairs that lead back up to the bridge, the night skies become much more apparent and are no longer obstructed by cacophonies of branches or cement structures. After the monotony of work and the energy expensed towards socializing with all their friends, the softness of the night comes as a reward of sorts, a restfulness from above to calm their souls. It calls their bodies and brains to rest and lets their hearts beat to a steady rhythm.

Although that could just be because they’re truly alone now.

_ It’s definitely that. _

“So much for having a heated exhibitionist experience,” Brett sighs dramatically. “If I remembered the homeless population lived down there though, I wouldn’t have let us go down.”

“I guess it was my fault,” Aleks concedes. “Had you thinking with your dick.”

“I tend to think with my dick when I’m around you.”

“Were you thinking with your dick when I told you I wanted us to start dating?”

Brett smiles and looks down to the steps. “That time, I was thinking with my heart,” he says quietly. “I tend to think with that too when I’m around you.”

Aleks blinks as a smile begins to lift his lips, and with a deep breath, he looks from Brett and up into the sparkling night sky. He gives Brett’s hand a squeeze and that’s when Brett brings his gaze back to Aleks again, and he admires how the moonlight bounces off the sharp angular of his face.

It’s a sight he’s seen thousands of times, but it never does get old.

“So uh, I know we came down to the bridge for the purpose of being alone,” Aleks says, “which is so cool with me. But I really think it’d be cool to actually investigate it one of these nights.”

“You’ve always been into that stuff, I’m not surprised.”

“It’d actually be a cool video for the channel, wouldn’t it?” Aleks asks. “Like, videos on all sorts of paranormal stuff, Buzzfeed Unsolved style?”

“It’d be super cool, actually,” Brett notes. “Kinda wish we thought of that sooner, then we could’ve done it for this season,” he chuckles and leads Aleks away from the staircase and down the sidewalk of the bridge. “But we can always put it in the docket for next Halloween season.”

“If we’re around by then.”

Brett laughs and backs up against the railed fences, pulling Aleks close to his body before he wraps his arms around his waist. “Of course we’ll be around by then, angel,” he tells him in a low, but soft tone. “Unless we like, decide to close shop early for the sole purpose of spending more time with each other - kind of like what we did tonight.”

Although Cow Chop enables him and Aleks to spend plenty of time around each other, it’s work. Brett still has to maintain some level of professionalism with him, and then there’s the fact that producing content for Cow Chop on the daily consumes a lot of their time. It doesn’t get in the way of life, but it can get pretty annoying sometimes when they end up having to bring their work home some days.

It’s a bit hard planning ahead for the future when they have to constantly worry about the future of their channel.

Aleks brings up his hands to clutch onto the front of Brett’s sweater and he leans in to give a simple peck on the lips. “We did it tonight because we’re in our honeymoon phase,” he notes. “Though I wouldn’t mind being insufferable with you all the way into the next Halloween season.”

Brett furrows his eyebrows together with a grin. “You have that much faith in us?”  
  
“Don’t you?”

He wasn’t expecting Aleks to ask him that. He wasn’t expecting Aleks to say that, so while it catches Brett off guard, he doesn’t have to think about that answer too long.

“Of course I do,” Brett assures him. He brings up a hand to tilt up Aleks’ chin, his thumb brushing back and forth along his jawline. “A lot of faith. And personally, I’m looking forward to when we fall out of the honeymoon phase.” Brett smiles. “Where we can just like, fall into this normal routine with each other and it’s just second nature at that point.”

It kind of already is. It’s like Aleks said when he originally told Brett he wanted them to date - they were practically doing it already, only now it’s official.

It’s different though, now that it’s official. It’s like their actions have more meaning. When Brett wakes up to Aleks, it means the start of another day with his better half. When Aleks kisses him, there’s now an unspoken message, as opposed to it just being for pleasure’s sake. When they have discussions like this in the middle of the night on a bridge, it’s another building block for the everlasting foundation of their combined future.

Everything they do now, it’s for them. Every little action, even the way they breathe, it all carries meaning.

Aleks tilts his head ever so slightly to kiss the tip of Brett’s thumb. He looks up into Brett’s eyes and takes his hands off his sweater so he can grab Brett’s hands instead, and then he intertwines their fingers together to walk backwards with Brett following after.

“I think we’ve been ahead of that game for a bit.” Aleks smiles and looks up to the interplay of moons and stars as he lets go of one of Brett’s hands to begin walking normally with him down the sidewalk. “This is already second nature to me.”

Brett kisses Aleks on the cheek before he drops his head onto his shoulder. “Maybe things are just naturally perfect with us then,” he says quietly.

“Would that be so hard to believe?”

The moon is like a crystal ball tonight, whirling with everybody’s futures. Despite the moon being full, it can appear dark to some, bright to others, but every time Brett has looked at it tonight, the future he sees in that ball with Aleks has always been bright.

In the past, it could’ve been hard to believe with them. In the past, they were never considered to be a possibility.

In the present, it’s not hard to believe at all. In the present, they are a very definite possibility.

In the future Brett sees, him and Aleks are certain.

But a simple _ “not at all” _ encompasses all of that just fine.


	33. The Darkness Is Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleks finally learns what's going on in James' mind and it makes him wonder - what will happen if Brett leaves too?

**November 3rd, 2017**

Brett woke up before Aleks, so he did his business and brushed his teeth real quick before coming back into their bedroom.

It’s then that he’s met with the beautiful sight of Aleks all laid out for him on top of the sheets.

The side of Aleks’ head is rested on the pillow and he’s got both of his arms clinging onto it. He has one leg raised up and stretched while the other sticks straight out, and the sheets just barely cover that stuck out leg, but what it should really cover is that pert, round ass that the sunlight insists on showering with its golden rays.

_ “Here’s the deal,” Brett says lowly against Aleks’ ear. “I can have you any way, any time. Your ass, your mouth, whenever I want. Don’t try to keep it from me because I  _ ** _will_ ** _ take it from you. Repeat after me.” _

_ “You can have me any way, any time,” Aleks moans. “My ass, my mouth, whenever you want. I won’t keep it from you, daddy, I promise.” _

With a smirk at the reminder, Brett stalks his way towards the bed.

_ Can’t think of a better way to start the morning. _

He raises one knee onto the edge, then the other, and then he’s slowly crawling over to his younger lover so he can grab at his ass and spread it apart ever so slightly. When Brett does so, Aleks hums out a noise but it’s definitely one of approval with the way he cants his ass into Brett’s touch.

Brett loves that he can hear the messages in Aleks’ actions so clearly. It makes for a much more streamlined morning-

_ Buzz buzz. _

Aleks huffs and opens his eyes to glare at his vibrating phone on the nightstand. “Brett-”

“I’ll get it for you, angel,” Brett says quietly as he leans over Aleks to kiss his cheek. “You let daddy worry all about that.”

Aleks smiles and closes his eyes. This pleases him.

Brett allows his body to sink on top of Aleks’, one hand holding himself up so he can grind his cock back and forth against that bubbly ass he loves so much, and the thumb of his other hand turns Aleks’ phone back on to read over the latest notification.

Though he takes a few seconds before to admire Aleks’ new lock screen. It’s of him and Brett in their Halloween costumes; Aleks is smiling hugely, Brett is tugging him close by the collar to place a big wet smooch to his cheek, and the pile of leaves they were laying in is way off in the background distance of the backyard.

Halloween was nice. Brett’s looking forward to their next one together.

**[James]** Just reminding you about the meeting today. Brett’s office still a good place?

With a whine, Brett sets aside Aleks’ phone and then plops himself entirely on top of him. “Allllleks…”

“Brooooo, why’d you stop?” Aleks groans.

“I got reminded about wooooork,” Brett continues to whine. “Do you know what the meeting with James is about yet?”

Now Aleks is the one whining, but it sounds much cuter coming from him.

“I don’t know, it’s about something,” Aleks sighs and reaches his hand out to the drawer to open it.

“I just wish I knew what exactly it was about,” Brett says. “I hate not being aware of what’s happening in my own warehouse… is James good? He hasn’t really seemed, like, in the zone. Does he wanna vacation?”

Brett doesn’t want to live in ignorant bliss. It’s a nice thought, but he has better peace in mind knowing what’s happening in his life at all times, and that includes the inner personal workings of the warehouse and his employees, his  _ friends. _ There might come a day when it becomes too much, and then Brett will put his foot down and sequester himself from society, but today is not that day.

His life has been pretty kickass lately. Brett can take anything the world decides to throw at him. 

Aleks hands back the lube to Brett with a shrug. “If he takes a vacation, I’m taking one too.”

Brett chuckles as he takes the lube. “We’re already taking one,” he reminds him. He lies himself beside Aleks and grabs onto Aleks’ hips to manhandle him onto his side, back along Brett’s chest. “You and me in Colorado?” The cap of the lube pops open so Brett can drizzle the contents along his shaft. “Enjoying the expensive warmth and comfort of a ski resort? Ring any bells?”

Aleks smirks and shimmies himself side to side to get all comfortable again. “I’d never forget about that,” he says, and then he blows out a breath at the coolness he feels pressing against his hole. “But we could totally like, do a pre vacation or some _ thing,” _ he moans as Brett begins to push inside and his eyes fall shut. “Fuck, dude.”

“You want it all at once or you want me to take my time?” Brett breathes out as he steadies his hands on either side of the man below him.

“Fuck you think?” Aleks looks back to Brett. “I’m hardcore, bro, all at once.”

Ha, of course. Brett doesn’t know why he’d think Aleks would want him to take his time pushing all the way in when he’s never wanted that before. He always wants all of Brett as soon as he can, always so impatient.

It’s kind of funny considering how long it took for them to just start dating. Well, it’s not really funny. Maybe in hindsight a few months from now, it’ll be funny.

Brett raises an eyebrow and grins down at Aleks as he proceeds to give him the whooole rest of him. “Too early to be mouthing off, isn’t it?”

“Oh, _ oh _ fuck,” Aleks moans out loud, “Brett-”

“I said…” Brett stills all the way inside and then leans down for his mouth to hover over Aleks’ ear. “Isn’t it? You gonna be good for now at least?”

“Fine,” Aleks moans. “Just fuck me, dude, please.”

“All you had to do was ask.”

And with that, it’s the start to what should be a beautiful day.

Brett wakes up to the beautiful sight of Aleks laid out on his bed like a lovely Playgirl model, and now he’s getting to fuck said Playgirl model. It’s something he’s been thankful to have with Aleks ever since they started fucking around, but it’s different now that there’s more certainty.

Life is kind of coming together for them. Cow Chop is becoming a bigger channel, he and Aleks are getting around to that exclusive boyfriend territory, and they get to work alongside all of their friends that seem to be just as happy as him and Aleks are.

In this moment, Brett can’t imagine anything that could happen to put a ripple to those motions.

* * *

“I wanna leave Cow Chop.”

Aleks and Brett stare at James blankly. They wait for him to elaborate, to specify the reason why, but James is looking down at the ground below him and not even looking them in the eye, as if the tension in the room is so heavy it prevents him from lifting his head to do so.

Out of everything in the world that James wanted to have a meeting about, Aleks didn’t think,  _ couldn’t _ think, that it would be  _ this. _

Aleks opens his mouth in hopes that the words can just magically flow but he’s struck by his own silence. So he closes his mouth and looks over to Brett, his eyebrows raising in a silent plea.

Because what the fuck is he supposed to say about his best friend wanting to leave this channel that they’ve both worked so hard to build up?

_ What the fuck  _ ** _can_ ** _ I say? _

Brett takes in a deep breath and looks over to James, biting at his lip and tapping his foot against the ground to try and drum up some sort of words to start with and thankfully, he has more luck with it than Aleks.

“How long has this been going on?” Brett asks quietly.

James reaches his hand back to rub the nape of his neck for a moment before giving a shrug. “I dunno, honestly,” he admits. “I… it’s…” He sighs and looks up to the ceiling of Brett’s office. “I think it’s been awhile but with Joe leaving, it just kinda hit me all of a sudden.” James looks back down to Brett, a slight wrinkle pressed between his eyebrows and his lips slightly parted open, eyes glazing over.

James seems… remorseful for what he feels, like he knows what it would mean for the channel if he leaves, like he knows the impact it would have.

Aleks can’t see that right now, however, even when he’s looking right at him - because it looks like that, but he’s more looking through him. He’s trying to wonder what it was that makes him wanna leave, not Joe, but what reasons there are for him to finally come to the conclusion that Cow Chop isn’t for him.

He’s here, physically, but mentally, he’s in another world.

How couldn’t he know how his own best friend feels about their own fucking company? How didn’t he see the signs sooner?

“Okay…” Brett starts slowly, “but why do you wanna leave?”

“It’s not because of me and Brett, is it?” Aleks pipes in.

Brett looks back to Aleks, eyebrows furrowed together until he looks to the ceiling, and then he’s looking over to James, his eyebrows raised. “Yeah, we haven’t done anything to make you uncomfortable, right-”

“Dude, no,” James scoffs and shakes his head. “Aleks, you asked that same thing when I brought this up and I told you no then too.”

“I just don’t know why you wanna leave,” Aleks chuckles bitterly. “You say it’s not that but it’s the first thing I thought of-”

“I’m just burned out from all of this stuff, guys,” James sighs. “With The Creatures, I just thought I was burnt out from not having some creative input, I thought it was the environment but…” He presses his lips together. “I think it’s just the whole YouTube thing that’s getting to me. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You’re burnt out? All of a sudden?” Aleks asks. “You never seemed-”

“Never  _ seemed _ because I did a good job hiding it.” He looks up to Aleks, just a hint of irritation darkening his eyes. “I’m not trying to ruin the atmosphere here. I don’t wanna make it toxic, I don’t want things to be negative and… and that’s why I think I should leave.” James looks down to the ground as he reaches his hand back to undo his hair from his bun. “I stay here any longer, it’s just gonna keep building up and it’s gonna fester. That ain’t fair to anyone.”

It’d be easy to argue with James and paint him to be the bad guy that just stuck a knife into this channel. It’s always easier to push the source of your feelings away than to civilly confront them like an adult, but Aleks knows that everything James is feeling has merit to it. He can understand why a long time friend like Joe leaving will suddenly cause him to re-evaluate his priorities in life…

… but this is his and James’ channel. This is  _ their  _ channel.

He and James are the backbone of it. Without James, the channel loses a big part of its charm, and yeah, they can rebrand and restructure, put in a new person, but it’s not going to be the same.

“Look, Joe just left,” Brett mentions, “so your feelings are running kind of high. I’m not trying to like, tell you that you’re wrong and you’re overthinking, because I get it. And let’s be real,” he chuckles, “YouTube is becoming a real fucking monster to deal with, and we’ve all been in the YouTube game for awhile so that burnout is totally bound to happen-”

“I considered it,” James says. “And I’m not saying I’d leave right away, I ain’t doing that either. I just want you guys to be aware of where my head is at in all of this. I can help you guys think of ideas for how to keep the channel going if I leave, I don’t wanna just throw y’all away, you know?”

“So very generous of you,” Brett says in monotone, and quickly afterwards he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Sorry, didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’ll miss that passive aggressiveness though.”

Brett snorts. “It’s an acquired taste. Glad it's yours.” He looks over to Aleks and pats his shoulder. “Bro? Your take?”

Aleks’ arms are crossed over his chest and his gaze is centered on the ground until Brett touches him. Then he’s looking up to Brett, the man that’s got him through everything else, and then to James, the man who’s soon to be leaving them all behind.

It’s melodramatic. Aleks knows it is. It’s not like James is going to leave and never talk to him again. He’s just leaving the channel, and it seems like he wants to leave all the limitations and restrictions of YouTube behind, and Aleks gets it, but that doesn’t make any of this easier.

Cow Chop is Aleks’ baby and what James just did feels like he just watched somebody punch his baby right in the face. It’s hard to get past that.

But right now isn’t the time for melodramatics. Aleks isn’t that kind of person and he isn’t going to start being that kind of person.

So he’ll do what he always does - meme the pain away.

“Guess I can find a way to restructure the channel if you leave,” Aleks sighs. “Me and Brett can put sex tapes onto youporn.”

James is chuckling, as is Brett, but Brett has more of a wary look in his eyes as he looks to Aleks.

Brett is seeing through it, but Aleks knew he would. If Brett knows how he really feels, that’s all that matters. Aleks doesn’t have to speak it into existence when it already exists within the universe he and Brett share together.

“Yeah, you can just have someone take my place!” James offers. “Doesn’t gotta be me, you and Brett got an awesome thing going on! Even Trevor, you guys do a lot of funny bits together.” His posture liftens along with his spirits and his smile. “Why don’t y’all get Trevor to take up the mantle?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s not a bad idea.” Brett stands up straight and lifts up his hat to smooth out his mane of hair before he places it back on. “I’d like to have Trevor in more stuff.”

“I think he’d enjoy it.” James stands up from the couch and runs his fingers back through his hair. “And then he can get a spotlight and who knows, he’ll be the next big thing. It’ll be good.”

“We’ll see,” Brett says. “There’s a lot we still gotta talk about-”

“Yeah, you leaving is a big ass thing to talk about,” Aleks mentions.

Brett narrows his eyes at Aleks for a brief moment before he gives James his attention. “Of course, but we have a work day ahead of us.” He claps his hands. “We can talk about this more next week? After we sleep on it over the weekend?”

James nods.

Brett nods too.

Aleks doesn’t want to nod, but he nods (three).

“We all still going to watch the new Thor tomorrow though?” James furrows his eyebrows. “This ain’t ruining that, right?”

“Even if it did, I’m sure Lindsey would force us together anyways,” Brett chuckles. “We’ll see you there, bro.”

James makes his way to Brett’s door and places his hand on the knob right before coming to a stop. He bites at his lip, taps his hand against the knob before he looks to Aleks and Brett. “Uh…” He blinks. “Are we good though?”

“Yeah,” Aleks says in a voice rougher than normal. “It’s good.”

“Of course!” Brett cheers. “Like I said, still gotta talk about it, but we’ll make it work. Now uh, me and Aleks gotta talk about something for a moment.”

James shakes his head and holds up a hand. “Cool, don’t wanna know. See ya.”

Just like that, in the blink of an eye, in an instant, at once, etc etc. James has left the building…

… okay, he’s still in the building, but he’s  _ going _ to leave the building, metaphorically, in due time.

James is leaving.

He  _ wants _ to leave, but he’s going to. Not right now, but in a few months, he will.

When he told Aleks that he wanted to leave The Creatures, it was only some months later did he follow through on it.

He guesses it’s better for James to make these frustrations known now instead of letting it fester and then getting mad at everyone for not reading his mind.

This is no way mean spirited. Aleks knows that, now that they’ve discussed it, but it still hurts.

This is still his best friend.

Aleks is glad it has nothing to do with him or anyone else in the warehouse. He didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t force James to leave, but he still feels like if he found out sooner that he could’ve done something just to ease his worries, to make that burn out not as prominent.

It still feels just a tiny bit like his fault.

“So how are you really feeling?”

Aleks is brought out from the blurry haze his trance has put him in to clearly see that Brett is looking right at him, the red lights of the room helping to bring out the softness in his dark brown eyes that shows he wants to put Aleks at ease.

It kind of does, but it’s never hard for Brett to do that to him.

“I dunno,” Aleks mumbles. “How do you feel?”

“You know how you feel.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Course it does. We’re dating.”   


“Is that going to be your answer whenever I decide not to tell you something?”

“Ah, so you  _ do _ admit you know how you feel?”

Aleks sighs and rolls his eyes as he goes over to plop himself down on Brett’s messy couch. How the fuck did it already get so messy? “It sucks, obviously, but like I said, it doesn’t matter. I can’t change it, I’m not gonna force him.”

“Yeah,” Brett sighs and goes over to take a seat beside him. “I’m in the same boat there, babe.”

Aleks relaxes a bit at the name and his expression becomes less rigid. “Sorry,” he says in a tone just above a whisper. “It’s just - he’s my best friend. He kinda sprung this on me.”

“It’s a lot to take in.” Brett wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulder. “That’s why we need the weekend to think about it. And then some.”

Even with all that extra time, Aleks doesn’t think it’s going to change how he feels. He’s still going to feel like it’s his fault, he’s still going to feel like things are crashing down, and he’s still going to feel like one by one, people will leave.

It started with Aron. Now it’s Joe. Now it’s James, all in the span of a year and a half. It’s only 3 people, so maybe it’s not something to get himself in a tizzy over, but James is a real big one and that’s Aleks’ _ best friend. _

If James can leave this channel, and they’re best friends… what about Brett?

“You wanna talk about it right now?” Brett asks. “Or-”

“I-I kind of wanna get an early lunch.” Aleks sits up to look at Brett. “Can we? I’ll pay.”

Brett’s eyes wander all over Aleks’ face and Aleks is sure that Brett can see the anxiety in his eyes, because it’s fucking Brett and he knows better than to hide from him, but he knows that Brett can’t fully read his mind.

_ What if Brett decides he wants to leave too? _

_ _ “No, it’s cool, I’ll pay.” Brett unwraps his arm from Aleks’ shoulder so he can latch onto his hand and he intertwines their fingers together. “You know, if you wanna talk at lunch-”

“I’m just hungry. Big news like that kind of makes me hungry.”

“I…” Brett closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Uh, yeah, I guess it makes me hungry too. But if you wanna-”

“Nah.”

_ What if he decides YouTube isn’t his thing? _

“Aleks,” Brett starts in a bit of a firm tone, “you know you can-”

“I know,” Aleks responds in an equal firm tone. “But I don’t wanna right now.” He looks to Brett. “Can we just eat?”

“You’re going to have to talk about this with me at some point.”

“Sure. But not now.”

They just started dating. He’s not going to start burdening Brett with emotional baggage so soon, because what if Aleks tells him and...

_ What if he decides  _ ** _we_ ** _ shouldn’t be a thing? _

Brett holds up a hand in surrender. “Ooookay. Where do you wanna go?”

Preferably, that ski resort in Colorado they have booked but that’s not until a month from now so Aleks has to settle with telling Brett that he wants Denny’s, because Denny’s seems kind of appropriate right now.

Isn’t Denny’s the place everyone goes when things in their life seem to currently be crumbling apart?

* * *

**November 7th, 2017**

Brett, Aleks, and James come up with a plan for when James leaves 4 days after the initial meeting.

James will stick around until halfway into 2018 so people can become better accustomed to the Aleks and Trevor duo, aided with appearances by Brett every so often to push Cow Chop into more of a group dynamic instead of the reliance on two people.

They’ll inform Trevor of their plans tomorrow so he’s not blind sided, an advantage he has over Brett and Aleks who were told completely out of nowhere by James that he plans to leave.

Is it stressful, to be told by pretty much one half of your channel that they’re leaving? Oh yeah! It’s stressful as fuck! Brett can see it now, all of the YouTube and reddit comments speculating why he’s quitting; people saying that they saw the signs ever since they moved to LA, that they always knew James was unhappy because of the way he looked at Aleks that one time in one BTS uploaded on Apriltober 39th, that Brett and Aleks’ agenda to turn the office into a pit of homoerotic tension was too much for him, that James was secretly in love with Aleks and was envious of his relationship with Brett, and that’s just the beginning of what these comments could look like.

Brett is not looking forward to the speculation from people who think they know something, or have been told something by somebody who’s the 8th person in a 10 person line of a game of Telephone.

He’s also stressed because it’s an added workload. He’s stressed because he doesn’t know if it’ll impact channel views in a good or bad way.

But the biggest reason, out of everything, why he’s so stressed about James leaving? Because Aleks is clearly stressed by it, and that tears at Brett’s heart already but Aleks isn’t even talking about it and he’d feel so much better if he would!!

Aleks isn’t like, moping around but he’s not 100% either. He’s been going about the days like there’s something constantly on his mind and he can’t seem to figure it out, but he could figure it out if he told Brett what was up! Brett’s good at that, figuring out feelings and stuff! It took him awhile to realize he was in love with Aleks but still!

The love of his life is upset and all Brett wants is to be there for him in every way he can.

They’re currently in for the night watching Voltron on Netflix in the comfort of their bedroom. Aleks is more clingy when he’s stressed and Brett likes it when Aleks clings to his shirts and tries to entangle him in his limbs, but he wishes it were under different circumstances. Aleks just isn’t clinging onto him currently because he’s brushing his teeth - Brett too, of course.

Brett sets his toothbrush back in its holder before he kisses Aleks on the cheek, his breath newly minty fresh, and he smiles when Aleks quickly turns his head to reciprocate that kiss in the exact same fashion.

It’s good to know the stress doesn’t affect them too much. Doesn’t make it better though.

They come back into the bedroom and after Brett plops himself onto the bed, he sees Aleks’ phone flash with a notification about an apartment and what the fuck, why does he keep getting emails about a god damn apartment?

“Okay, Aleks, bro, you gotta tell your old landlord to stop stalking you.” Brett hands Aleks’ phone to him and then leans himself against their pillows. “Block him or something.”

Aleks rolls his eyes as he takes his phone to open the notification. “I’ll see what it is first and then I’ll get to it.”

“You still haven’t read any of them?”

“I don’t think there’s a reason to.” Aleks shrugs and squints his eyes to read the message. “Like, he gave away my apartment so I don’t… hmm…”

Brett furrows his eyebrows and cranes his head to try and look at Aleks’ screen. “What’s up?”

“He… uh…” Aleks huffs through his nose. “He really uh, wants me back.”

“Sounds creepy.”

“No, yeah. He like, sounds kinda desperate, he’s giving me like, massively discounted rates and says I can move in as quick as January 1st. That’s kind of a super great offer.”

Brett feels a heavy weight stirring around in his stomach at that. The implications of Aleks moving out, though the chances are astronomically low, sting, and coupled with the things that have happened in the past few days, it’s really putting a damper to the beginning of their November.

“Yeah…” Brett looks up to the ceiling. “Remember when you said you didn’t ever wanna leave? And we were having sooo much fun together that you forgot to even start house hunting again?”

“Because this was originally supposed to be temporary?”

“Yeah!” he scoffs and grabs the remote to start playing the episode again. “Something like that.”

Aleks looks over to the TV and then at Brett. He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes before he sets his phone off to the nightstand. “Just like we were originally supposed to just be friends?” he muses as he straddles Brett’s leg before plopping right by his side. “And you were originally supposed to not date anybody you work with because that’s the professional thing to do or whatever?”

Brett supposes his fear sounds silly when it’s put into terms like that.

He doesn’t even really have a witty retort in response. He doesn’t think he needs to, considering he never even voiced that fear aloud but much like how he knows Aleks is stressing about this James stuff, Aleks knows he’s stressing about even that smidge of possibility that he could leave.

“Brett…” Aleks gives him a pointed look. “You can’t be passive aggressive like that and not expect me to say something about it.”

“And _ you _ can’t just refuse not to talk about how you feel about the James thing-”

“Totally different.”

“Totally not.”

“Look, I feel  _ some _ type of way about it,” Aleks sighs and averts his gaze down to their entangled legs. “I’m not denying that. But I don’t wanna talk about it-”

“You’d feel better if you did though,” Brett says in a knowing tone as he looks down to Aleks. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“We just started dating, bro, imagine we just started a new thing and I had to ruin it by getting all sad and shit.” Aleks frowns. “That’s not sexy.”

“That’s what dating i _ s, _ you idiotic  _ angel.” _ Brett wraps his arms around Aleks to pull him close and then he kisses his head. “Look, I’ll tell you why I was getting all passive aggressive - cause I don’t like the thought of your sweet ass leaving me. See? That wasn’t hard.”

Aleks scoffs and shakes his head before he looks up to Brett. “Dude, even if we weren’t dating, if this was still just a sex thing, I wouldn’t be leaving. What we have works, I wouldn’t ruin that.”

Brett’s smile displays many things in that moment. It displays relief, relief at the fact that Aleks wasn’t going to leave him either way their relationship is headed, and it displays a certain smugness, smugness at the fact that Aleks is just proving his point for him.

“Exactly,” he says. “What we have works. I’d never do anything to ruin that, and you telling me what’s wrong isn’t that at all. You’ve dated before, you know this.”

“But I’ve never dated  _ you _ and… it’s different with you.” Aleks shrugs and brings up a hand to cling tightly onto Brett’s shirt.

Brett really wants to ask Aleks why it’s different with him. He wants to think that it’s different with him the same way it’s different with Aleks - because they’re in love. But Brett’s realistic, and he’s not going to get his hopes up.

It’d also be selfish to ask Aleks that just to affirm his feelings and stroke his ego when Aleks is dealing with some shit. They solve this first and then they can discuss the rest.

Brett looks down to the clinging hand and brings up one of his own to rest on top. “I know what you mean,” he says quietly. “I do, but babe, I wanna be there for you. It doesn’t matter if we started dating yesterday, or last week, last month, last  _ year, _ but you gotta tell me what’s on your mind.”

Aleks’ leg tightens around Brett’s and with a small whine, he pushes his head up into Brett’s neck. “I just… I…” He huffs. “James is my best friend and he’s just leaving. And if James can leave when he’s one of the biggest draws to our channel, that means anyone can leave just as easily. Even…”

He trails off after that but Aleks doesn’t need to continue for Brett to figure out the unspoken, and it breaks his fucking heart.

Brett wonders if James leaving possibly hit something deep inside Aleks, the man he loves more than anyone and anything, the man he’d do absolutely anything for and he’s going to do that right now by taking away every single anxiety riddled thought he’s having, or at least the beginnings of them.

Brett won’t care if it takes years to get rid of all those thoughts. Any length of time will be worth it for Aleks.

“Oh, angel,” Brett cooes and kisses the top of Aleks’ head again. “Angel, _ angel, _ I really do think you’re thinking too hard about it.”

“This was supposed to be a temporary stay,” Aleks says. “We were supposed to be friends.”

“And it wasn’t,” Brett says. “We’re so much more-”

“Well, James was supposed to build this up with me into something great and then look at what happened.”

Well. Yeah. He got Brett there. He’s been one upping Brett on the wit tonight it seems, but he’s not going to be the obstacle in Brett’s path to making him feel better. Nothing can ever stop Brett from doing such.

“I know it’s tough, Aleks,” Brett tells him. “He’s your best friend, and this channel is something you two built together, but it’s going to be fine. You can grow this into something without him, and we’re going to do it right. And if we don’t,” he shrugs, “you have so much potential. And you can do so much. Cow Chop isn’t the end for you, and it won’t be the end for me either. It’s all going to be fine.”

Cow Chop is cool and all, but Brett’s been in the YouTube game for awhile. He’ll do everything he can to keep Cow Chop going, and if the end is looking grim, he’ll make sure to end it with a  **bang** and not a  _ whimper. _ Either way, he and Aleks are going to do great things. Cow Chop might be that great thing, and it might not be. Brett is hoping for the former, but he’ll prepare himself for the latter if it comes.

All that really matters to him is keeping that beautiful man by his side happy.

Aleks is still tense, so Brett knows that despite everything he’s told him, he’s still not totally convinced. And then…

“Daddy?”

Brett looks down to Aleks. “Yeah, angel?”

Aleks looks up into his eyes and Brett gazes upon his own. Brett can just barely make out how quickly Aleks’ pupils are wandering and he gives his hand a squeeze, to reassure him and to calm him, and that’s when Aleks’ pupils finally settle.

Though their datastream has been destroyed so they can finally live in a reality with each other, the electricity is still hotly running through them in that wire that extends through their connected souls. It’s how they can know how the other feels with such an intrinsic, inane knowledge, and it’s how Brett knows they’re meant to be together.

It’s how he knows that he and Aleks are meant to brave through these tough moments  _ together. _

“Can you just promise me something?” Aleks asks.

“Anything.”

“Promise you’re not gonna leave me?”

Brett smiles, because he knows if this is all Aleks needs to calm down, then everything is going to be just fine.

He leans down to capture Aleks’ lips in a soft, lingering kiss, his thumb brushing back and forth along the back of Aleks’ hand. Aleks huffs out a relieved breath of air through his nose and it hits against Brett’s upper lip, and Brett hasn’t gave his answer yet but that also seems to be unspoken, because Aleks is completely relaxing into his side.

Yeah, everything is just fine.  **They** are going to be just fine.

Brett still whispers against Aleks’ lips those precious three words anyways:

“I promise, angel.”

He hopes to say a different three words to Aleks one day but for now, this is a suitable equivalent.


	34. All Systems Shutting Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett isn't leaving Cow Chop anytime soon, but that doesn't mean other people aren't thinking about it - people other than James.
> 
> Aleks is having kind of a hard time with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what, I've been consistently busy on Friday's lately so I'm pushing second chapter uploads to Saturday! New chapters will be uploaded Mondays and Saturdays, which doesn't mean much considering this is close to ending but lol

**November 12th, 2017**

Tonight is one of those rare times when Aleks and Brett aren’t clinging to each other.

Brett’s catching up with some people from the ghost of Machinima’s past and he actually gave Aleks an invite to come along but Aleks figured he could use that time to catch up with Trevor and Asher. They kind of just hang out in their apartment all day and Aleks thinks they could use a good dose of socialization.

There’s comfort in knowing he and Brett don’t always need to be together, just like he and Brett don’t always need to fill in the shared silence with words. They can just live life alongside each other and build upon it without that feeling of being shackled down.

Doesn’t mean Aleks doesn’t miss Brett when they’re apart… and ever since James hit them with the news that he’s leaving, he finds himself missing Brett a whole lot more but he doesn’t want that to change their daily rhythm.

Plus, shooting the shit with Trevor and Asher is a good way to help forget about all of that. They can talk mindless nonsense for _ hours, _dawg.

“Shouldn’t Trevor be back by now?” Aleks slurs as he squints his eyes at Asher.

“The Popeyes across the street takes a long time sometimes.” Asher shrugs and downs the rest of his beer before tossing it to the ground. “But I am hungry.”

Aleks sighs dramatically and plops himself along their couch to stare up at the ceiling. “What do you guys have to eat here?”

“Bread.”

“Anything else?”

“Beer.”

Aleks huffs through his nose. “You guys… you guys gotta like. Buy shit. Like, groceries. What the fuck do you guys eat?”

Asher hums in thought and stares down into his newly opened bottle. “Popeyes,” he says. “And anything on Ubereats.”

Aleks used to Ubereats anything that he wanted. He had some snacks here and there, a sizable amount of groceries, but Ubereats was the go to more often than not. It’s only after moving in with Brett did he decide to lessen all the Ubereats purchases, but that’s mostly because Brett makes awesome food so he’s sort of like a live in chef that way.

A really sexy live in chef that knows the right words to say to mostly take away all of his anxieties and make him feel like the only person in the world that matters, that is.

“You guys like that new guy?” Asher sits up against the coffee table. “What’s his name? Max?”

“Matt. He was Brett’s friend in college.”

“You like him?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool. What about you?”

“He’s quiet. But he’s cool.

“You two should be best friends then.”

“I don’t think Brett would allow that.”

Aleks snorts and turns onto his side to better face Asher. “Don’t start shit talking Brett with me around, alright? Or else I’ll,” he pounds his fists together, “do… something, son.”

“Hey, man, I was just kidding…” Asher blinks and looks off to the side. “Kind of,” he mumbles before taking a long swig of his beer.

Aleks has actually had more than Asher so far. Asher’s drinks might be more spread across the floor but Aleks has them all beside each other on the coffee table in a weirdly neat fashion. He thinks Brett would be proud of him, ‘cause Brett is always on him for having a messy space but Aleks just has a messy workspace, he keeps their home clean enough! Brett’s one to talk anyways, Aleks cleaned his _ entire _office for him when he was gone in China and Australia and Brett made a pigsty out of it a month later!

But that’s okay. Brett can do stuff like that, ‘cause he’s Brett, and he’s _ dreamy. _

“Brett’s just like… really awesome, you know?” Aleks looks from Asher and off to some spot in the wall. “He cares. He really cares. And he’ll like, go really out of his way to show it.”

“I mean, maybe for you.”

Aleks chuckles. “Are you jeeeeealous, Ashy?” He smirks and looks back down to him. “Jealous that Brettzle Stick is _ mine?” _

Asher laughs and furrows his eyebrows together. “You call him Brettzle Stick?”

“Yeah!” Aleks cheers. “It’s like my pet name for him. He calls me his aaaaangel, but I think he’s the_ real _angel. He looks like one.”

The smile that was on Asher’s face loses its brightness but now it’s more soft, almost fond. He sits up straighter against the table and then sets his beer beside him before crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah?” he muses. “What else you like about him?”

Aleks hums and his eyes wander all over as he wracks through his mind, because there’s seriously too many things he likes about Brett but he needs to go one at a time. The first thing, however, is easy.

“His dick,” Aleks says with a nod. “Yeah… it’s big.”

Asher blinks a few times and tilts his head. “Have you and him like… you know? Is that how you know that?”

Aleks scoffs and nods again. “Bro, all the time. We’re like, kind of dating and shit.”

“Hold on, you’re dating Brett?”

“Uh huh,” Aleks mumbles. “So I like that about him. And obviously, he’s super hot. He’s really funny, and I actually like how petty he gets sometimes ‘cause it’s fun to watch and I don’t like to be petty so he kind of does it for me-”

“Wait, Aleks, hold up.” Asher immediately lifts his beer to take another drink of it before he sets it back down. “Wait, when did you and him start _ dating?” _

“Mmm, few weeks ago?” Aleks furrows his eyebrows together, tilts his head back and forth, before he gives a prompt nod. “Yeah. Few weeks.”

“So you’re fucking and dating Brett? Legit?”

“That’s what I just said, man!” Aleks whines and pulls himself up to sit against the back of the couch. “We’re legit, dawg. I like him a lot, that’s why I get all annoyed and shit when you start going off on him.”

“What about when he goes off on me?”

“I get annoyed at him too.” Aleks sighs and rolls his eyes. “Wish you two would kiss and get along… heh, hey,” he chuckles and looks down to Asher. “What if I shipped you and Brett? What if that was the next big thing, dude?”

What would that even be called? Basher? Immediately after Aleks suggests it though, he starts to actually picture them together, holding hands and trading kisses, Brett punishing Asher with spankings for turning in late edits, and… he doesn’t really like those thoughts at all. For a multitude of reasons, but mostly because it’s Brett with someone other than _ him. _

Aleks is frowning just a little as he stares off ahead of Asher, but Asher in his buzzed state doesn’t notice it, or at least doesn’t think too hard about it.

“Why can’t you ship me with Taylor Swift instead?” Asher asks. “She’s-”

“I think I kinda love Brett,” Aleks says quietly with surprising clarity as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Yeah… he’s like, perfect.”

Yeah! He’s majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with Brett! And he loves Brett, because obviously, but being in love with him just makes so much_ sense. _

It’s why he looks forward to waking up in the morning when he so previously hated the mornings. Mornings are always so early and it totally doesn’t fit with Aleks’ schedule, but getting to wake up to Brett makes that worth it. That warmth when he wakes up in those big, loving, strong arms wakes Aleks entirely and fully prepares him for the day ahead, a day he continues to spend with Brett.

They go through life’s daily motions and in the moments in between, he wonders how lucky he is to be living such a normal life with Brett.

Even calling Brett “perfect” does him a great injustice, because it’s like Brett told Aleks that night after he came back from that Overwatch tournament - that he’s beyond description. Everything Brett said that night, that Aleks is beyond description and no assortment of phrases or words, old and new, could ever encapture the kind of person he is, explains Brett too.

Aleks can envision it again, like he did when they had sex that night - all the possibilities in which he and Brett can be.

All of these revelations, these passing thoughts, they’re because Aleks is in love with Brett.

Yes. It all makes sense.

Before Asher can even properly think of something to reply to Aleks’ startling admission, Trevor is banging through the door with their food.

And as quick as Aleks came to the realization, he’s quick to forget everything about it, including the realization itself.

“Hey, drunk duuuuudes, I got us some groovy Popeyes chicken, maaaaan.”

“Ooh!” Asher immediately races over to Trevor. “Did you get my large fry?”

Trevor furrows his eyebrows. “You wanted a large fry?”

Asher groans out loud, and then it devolves into a long whine. “Duuude, that’s one of my favorite parts of Popeyes!” He sighs and goes back to the coffee table to shove his wallet into his jeans. “I’ll be back. I want my fry.” Asher pouts at Trevor before he storms on out to collect what’s rightfully his.

Trevor looks back to Asher for about a solid minute before he just shrugs and closes the door behind him. “Kay.” He turns back around and plops himself down beside the coffee table so he can start taking out the boxes of food. “Uhhh, Aleks, these are your tenders.”

“Sweet, bro.”

Aleks reaches out his hands to take the box from Trevor and he opens it to start digging in, but halfway through his first tendie, he notices that Trevor is… watching him.

Like. Real intently. With a _ purpose. _

Aleks’ chewing slows down to a stop as he looks to Trevor with a mouthful of chicken. It gradually picks up in pace again just so he can swallow it down, and with furrowed eyebrows, he sets his box to the side. “Uh? Can I help you?”

Trevor worries his bottom lip with his teeth as he takes a deep breath. “Um…” He rubs the back of his neck and looks the other way. “Yeah, uh, remember when you and Brett and James were talking to me the other day?”

_ “So the working idea is that we’d have you take James’ place,” Brett tells him. “The channel would be sort of a duo dynamic with you and Aleks-” _

_ “And everyone else will keep pitching in like always,” Aleks adds. _

_ “You’d be great, dude!” James encourages with a smile. _

_ “Me?” Trevor asks almost unsure. “Uh, are you sure?” _

_ “You’re the most popular after James and Aleks.” Brett shrugs. “Just makes sense. And you and Aleks are close too.” _

_ “What about you and Aleks then?” Trevor notes. “Why not you two?” _

_ “Like Brett said, you’re the most popular after me and James,” Aleks reminds him. “It wouldn’t be as jarring.” _

“Uh, yeah.” Aleks slides off the couch to be more level with Trevor. “What about what we talked about?”

“Look, uh…” Trevor takes his hand off his neck to run his fingers back through his hair with a shaky sigh. “Uh, I-I made that comment about you and Brett because-”

“Me and Brett are gay together?”

“Yeah, but like. Also no. That wasn’t why.”

“Trevor, I’m fuckin’ drunk, bro. You gotta just tell me.”

“I said that because I don’t know if I’m gonna be around either.”

In that moment, Aleks wonders if coming to Trevor’s for beer and Popeyes is worth it.

Usually it is. Popeyes is always some good shit, and he loves getting drunk off his ass with friends, but that’s because Aleks doesn’t have to think.

He didn’t want to think about James leaving. He didn’t want to think about work and having to work around James leaving. Aleks just wanted to shoot the shit, get silly, and leave it all behind, but Trevor telling him this defeats the whole purpose of that.

It makes him remember why he was so anxious when James gave the news.

It makes him remember all of the debilitating thoughts that came afterwards.

It makes him remember that time is fleeting, that seasons change and people come and go, and Brett is part of that.

“Aleks?” Trevor raises an eyebrow and reaches out his hand. “H-Hey, look, it’d be March at the latest that I’d be leaving-”

“So you’re leaving too, huh?”

“I’m burned out too, man,” Trevor admits. “I need to think about some stuff. It doesn’t mean I won’t be back-”

“No, of course not,” Aleks scoffs and shakes his head. “Definitely not. No. And we’re still gonna be friends and talk outside of work too, right?”

“Yeah!” Trevor says with a bit more confidence, and even a smile too. “Just like that! So you’re okay with it?”

Aleks chuckles and reaches up to grab his box of tenders. “Yeah, man.” He nods and takes out two tenders to bite into the both of them simultaneously. “Majorly and totally.”

“Just promise me one thing though?”

“Oh, for you Trevor?” Aleks puts a hand over his heart. “Anything.”

“Don’t tell Brett? Just not yet. I wanna tell him myself.”

“No, dude, of course not. Why would I ever tell him? Not my place.”

It’d just be another thing to affect the beginning of their relationship too. First the James thing and now _ this. _

Aleks knows that telling Brett things is like, part of the whole reason of dating someone, but Brett reassured him about the James stuff and now it’s all coming right back.

James was supposed to build the channel with him. Now, he’s leaving.

Trevor was supposed to take James’ place. Now, he’s leaving too.

Brett is supposed to be Aleks’ boyfriend one day. Chances are, he’ll just leave too.

And Aleks won’t be able to control any of it despite how hard he tries.

So what the hell is he supposed to do? How is Aleks supposed to deal with what he can’t control?

How does he get past that?

* * *

**November 15th, 2017**

“Nope! Stay. You’ve been acting weird again and we gotta talk about it.”

Aleks huffs through his nose and presses his lips together as he stays right at that first step. He looks to the second floor while he debates the consequences of going against Brett’s wishes and ultimately decides that an irritated Brett isn’t worth it.

With a sigh, he relents and turns to Brett with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m-”

“Just tired?” Brett raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. “I get that’s kind of our perpetual mood but you and I both know there’s something going on. What’s been with you? Again?”

He and Brett went out to dinner after work, at a place they’ve been to quite a few times, and then they went to do an escape room and usually Aleks is all over doing an escape room but Aleks has been… well, kind of on edge.

Granted, he’s been on edge ever since Trevor told him he wanted to leave.

He doesn’t remember everything that happened at Asher’s. There’s some black spots here and there, which sucks because Aleks always prided himself on having a good memory of his drunken nights and he feels like something significant happened last night besides Trevor spilling those beans but he just can’t remember for the life of him.

How nice of his brain to retain that debilitating piece of information above everything else.

So Aleks remembers that and just like the James thing, he doesn’t want to discuss it. He doesn’t want Brett to know why he’s being weird again, especially after Brett had done such a good job in reassuring him a few days ago. It makes Aleks feel bad for finding yet _ another _thing to be troubled with, and anything that troubles him is going to trouble Brett by proxy and he doesn’t want Brett involved in that.

  
  


“Aleks, come on,” Brett whines and goes over into the kitchen so he can fill Mishka and Celia’s food bowls. “You know hiding things from me isn’t possible.”

With a groan, Aleks leans back off the banister and comes following him to the kitchen. “It’s just stupid,” he says. “It’s-”

“Aleks, nothing that bothers you is stupid.” Brett fills Celia’s bowl and then he’s standing up to go to the fridge. “If it’s troubling you and distracting you, it’s significant and we gotta talk about it. That’s what you do when you’re dating somebody. I told you that.”

Aleks frowns and holds his arms closer to himself. “It’s just… you… the other day, I was all mopey and weird and shit. And you made me feel better and don’t get me wrong, you did a good job at it but…” He shuffles his feet. “Dude, my anxiety is just at an all time high this month. I don’t get it.”

He does get it.

Everybody seems to be leaving him.

First, Aron. Next, Joe. Then, James. Now, Trevor.

And he can’t talk about Trevor. He remembers telling Trevor that he wouldn’t, and he gets that too - it’s a big thing. That news should come from Trevor himself, from the source.

No matter the source of what Aleks’ anxiety is, however, what Aleks is feeling still needs to be dealt with.

“Do you feel guilty that you need some reassurance? Like everyone else?” Brett asks as he takes a water from the fridge to take a long sip.

“It’s that I need reassurance over the same thing _ again,” _ Aleks stresses while he watches Brett put the water back. “I’m not going to bother you with that shit, Brett. I think you got enough-”

“Don’t tell me I got enough on my plate,” Brett chuckles humorlessly and looks to Aleks as he shrugs off his camouflage coat. “I know what I can handle, and if I couldn’t handle the person I’m dating venting to me about some particular thing twice in a row, then I shouldn’t be dating at all.”

“But-”

“No but’s.” Brett shakes his head and hops up on the stool. “I can reassure you as many times as you need it. It’s not a problem.”

Aleks looks into Brett’s eyes, dark and warm in this instant. It’s amazing that he can tell what Brett is feeling just by observing the color his eyes take on, though by this point, he’s been around Brett long enough to notice the slightest change in color. Sometimes Brett is feeling lust, or he’s irritated, or he’s happy, but right now the look is truthful and, speaking to his words, reassuring.

Brett’s genuine. No matter what color his eyes take, that will always ring true.

“What’s wrong, Aleks?” Brett asks in a pitch above a whisper.

Aleks’ frown grows wider. His arms drop from his chest and his fingers of both hands start to twiddle together. He swallows heavily but that weight is still ever present, his throat has gone dry, and the whole world is weighing down on him and Brett’s presence is keeping him hanging on beyond all means.

Brett is what makes him alive.

“I don’t wanna lose anyone else,” Aleks finally tells him, but that adrenaline steadily coursing through him is already preparing Aleks for one more obvious admission - an admission that went unspoken last time, and thusly ignored.

“I don’t either, Aleks,” Brett affirms. “I-”

“I don’t wanna lose _ you, _ Brett,” Aleks whimpers and steps closer in between Brett’s legs.

Brett’s eyes aren’t as soft anymore. They glaze over, for a moment, before they widen along with his lips. He shakes his head quickly and raises his hands to grab onto both of Aleks’. “No, no, no, Aleks-”

“Look, w-with anyone else, I can deal with it. Like, it’ll suck fucking hard but I can get over that, but when people tell me that they wanna leave, i-it just makes me think of you leaving and _ I can’t handle that.” _ Aleks breathes out a shuddering breath and looks down to their joined hands. “We’ve been basically inseparable since I came out here, a-and we’ve been waking up together and falling asleep together, we’ve been living life together, going through all the motions together, and wh-what happens if you like,” he wets his lips and blinks his eyes tightly shut for a moment to ward back the heat, “i-if you decide you wanna leave or that this isn’t right for you and then this all stops? And just like that, it’s all over?” Aleks opens his eyes, still wet, still heated, to look into Brett’s. “Just like that, _ we’re _ over?”

Brett has already become so important to him.

In under a year, they went from close friends, to best friends, and now this. He reached a place higher than James in Aleks’ book, hell, his own family. Brett is_ the _ number one person in his life but any second, as evidenced by what has happened so far, he could quickly be taken away without any choice from Aleks.

Aleks doesn’t want to go back to a life without Brett like this.

He _ can’t. _

And he won’t know what to do if that day ever comes.

“No,” Brett whispers. “Aleks… Aleks, that won’t happen.” He snags a hand out of Aleks’ to bring it up to cup his cheek. “I won’t let it. I will _ never _let it.”

Aleks closes his eyes so he can fully revel in his safe warmth, his head pressing further into it for more. He squeezes Brett’s other hand, silently indicating for him to continue.

“Aleks, I will _ never _ leave you,” Brett tells him with conviction. “Babe, I promise you with everything that I have and more, that I will never leave you - and I’m not going to leave this channel either.”

A tear rolls down Aleks’ cheek after he opens his eyes, which Brett quickly rubs away with his thumb.

“Even if we’re down to 5 viewers a video, even if we only have 100 subscribers, even if we have to do it out of some crackhouse, I’m here for you.” Brett bites at his lip, thumb tapping softly against Aleks’ cheek in brief thought. “Maybe everyone leaves,” he starts again, “and then in… 5 years time, there’ll be a whole new group of people. Or everyone leaves and in 5 years time, it’s down to just you and me and a tripod, whatever way you spin it, I am_ not _ leaving. Aleks…” Brett huffs through his nose and frowns. “I’m with you until the very end. Everything else we deal with?” He shrugs. “It’s just bullshit. You’re the only one that matters to me. I don’t care what happens or what you do, but I’ll be there by your side every easy and difficult step of the way. If it means reassuring you for the same thing over and over, I’ll do that. I’ll do whatever it takes for you, and you _ need _ to know that.”

Aleks’ soul and being is stirred by the sensuous, tender beauty of the man in front of him into remembering, quite strongly, the pure, genuine beauty of the eternal ideas that lie in Brett’s heartfelt words. The ideas arise from the deterioration of their once ever abundant datastream, but with that comes the steady vanishing of doubt and the consequent flattening of uncertainty brought by past anxieties.

All of these words are what bridge the gap between the world of fantasy and imagination, that the datastream has nurtured so heavily, to the real world that will readily nurture the reality of _ them. _

People will come and go. Friends will change. Maybe this channel won’t even be around in 5 years, but whatever happens, in whatever length of time, he and Brett will remain constant with each other.

They’ll slide off the digital fabrics to inhabit the tangible environments of their lively earth, consisting of sparkling seas and vast desert canyons, of whispering grasslands and of coastal forests, of valleys and swamps - every single thing.

This world is theirs.

This_ life _ is theirs.

And Aleks needs to make the most of it.

It starts with his hands, that are like Brett’s but fall more along the delicate side to his burliness. Delicate hands frame Brett’s face like a treasured picture to keep him steady and on display for Aleks’ lips to show their appraisal for the art in front of him.

Aleks presses in hard, his eyes screwing tighter shut so he can focus all of his power into fusing their souls. They’re already connected, already one being, but he needs that physical link more than ever right now and in the celestial mind space that houses their combined entity, Brett senses the need for that and tilts his head, his tongue poking out to immediately enter Aleks’ mouth.

Whatever Aleks needs, Brett needs it too. It’s one for all with them and they will never be fully complete if their other half is not. It doesn’t matter if one is feeling at peace with themselves and everything in the world if the other is so racked with anxiety that it eats away at their soul, because their souls are melded into one and whatever Aleks feels, Brett will feel it too.

Their lips bear the sweet flavor of vanilla and it’s strengthened the deeper they go, the more they moan into each other’s mouths. Aleks is moaning needily and clutching tighter to Brett and Brett’s hands have reached out to slip underneath Aleks’ shirt and pull him close by the small of his back. His hands are firm, with the need to stabilize and secure, and his nails gently sink into Aleks’ skin to give him that slight touch of pain he needs so he can be reminded of where he is.

Because Aleks is in the present with him.

He’s not in the past without him, where he’s just now getting started and is still figuring out exactly what his career is.

He’s not in the once uncertain future, where he’s led himself to believe that all of his hopes and dreams will wither away into dust like his relationships.

Aleks is in the certain present, where he’s connecting with a man he puts above all else, with a man that puts Aleks above all else in return.

In the present, their souls have un-digitized and roam with each other in the safe space that only a kiss from a lover can bear. Aleks has totally shut down and has faded completely into the reality of their present, the reality of _ them. _

They are face to face in a realigned world that brims with euphoric sensations that they have created as one entity. They pant against each other’s mouth every so often, to collect their breaths that they have lost so they are able to relish in a passionate and desperate kiss, but the difficulty of breathing is just a small obstacle in the road to being with each other as close as they can.

Aleks is breathing in Brett’s air and it makes him dizzy, makes his head swirl and his body light, but Brett just presses him in closer to his body, chest on chest, so he doesn’t sway onto the floor like an anchor thrown overboard. Aleks’ hands instantly move down to hold onto Brett’s biceps with a small whine and Brett silences it with a gentle peck so that whine can turn into a much more pleasant, relieved hum instead.

“I got you, angel,” Brett whispers against Aleks’ lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t,” Aleks breathes out. “Stay with me-”

“I promise.” Brett brings up a hand for his fingers to thread through the back of Aleks’ blonde hair. “Nothing will take me from you.”

And Aleks truly believes it. He believes that Brett will fight tooth and nail to stay with him, even fight the angels from taking him from this earth so they can always be together.

Brett hasn’t done anything to tell Aleks otherwise. Out of everybody in Aleks’ life that he knows, from family and friends to strangers, Brett has never placed doubt in Aleks, not over the things that matter.

Brett has been by his side since day one and he’s always made that clear, regardless of relationship status.

Brett has always been the bright light in the darkest night in the stars that fill up the skies. He’s the blood that pumps through Aleks’ veins that allow his heart to constantly beat. He’s the hot flame that powers the heat of a lover’s embrace. He’s the purifying rain from booming thunderclouds of celestial skies, and in Aleks’ lowest moments, he’s the high that brings him out and reminds him of all the good.

Aleks once thought they were soulmates. Now, he’s certain of it.

A hand clutches onto Brett’s sleeve and he moves his head forward to press their foreheads together, to feel Brett on him. Aleks takes in a shuddering breath and Brett scratches his nails against Aleks’ scalp in a soothing fashion.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” Brett pleads quietly. “What is it?”

“I want you,” Aleks tells him on the edge of a whine. “I-I _ need _you.”

“Yeah.” Brett nods. “I need you too.”

Suddenly, Brett has hopped off the stool to pull Aleks up into his arms, much like one would carry a bride through the threshold. Despite the sudden nature of it and Aleks not anticipating it at all, it’s like his body knew before him and so he just stares up into Brett’s eyes and wraps his arms around his neck, no gasps or startled yelps.

He’s never been the type in a relationship to seek out affection, though he is a very tactile person. There was always still a part of him that he would keep guarded, a part of him that would desire for actions such as this, actions like being whisked away in a lover’s arms, but he never found that person he could fully trust to be so vulnerable with.

But he can let Brett take him into his arms like he’s a bride.

He can let Brett call him his angel.

He can call Brett daddy and cuddle up to him on a couch under bundles of warm blankets and whine for Brett even though he’s only a room away.

Aleks can be clingy with Brett. He can bother him for needless affection and touches and Brett will just give it to him, he’ll give it to Aleks so happily and without a problem. It’s a role that Brett has accepted, likely at the very beginning, and Aleks has came to that realization gradually on his own in the past few months but it’s only now that he’s fully came to it.

Loving eyes stare up into Brett’s like he’s the only one in the world, and he’s not but he’s the only one in Aleks’ world so it’s not completely unfounded. They only fall shut when Brett leans down to press their lips together, and just barely does Aleks hear his footsteps gently stomping against their floor to indicate that they’re moving.

They head up the stairs of their home together and into their bedroom. Aleks has pretty much moved right in, his toothbrush and toothpaste on the bathroom counter along with his brush, he has one of his throw blankets lying on their bed, and some of his clothes are scattered among the floor along with Brett’s. The room is a mish mash of things that belong to the both of them and is a physical manifestation of the mindspace they inhabit together.

How silly of Brett to think that Aleks would ever leave him and their home. His home is right here - not in this building, but with Brett. Wherever Brett goes, Aleks will follow. That’s simply where they’re at with each other.

Brett pushes the door closed with his body and then he’s making his way to the bed, stepping over the clothes as he does so. He pulls apart from Aleks’ lips and licks his own clean of Aleks’ taste as he stares into Aleks’ eyes, much with the same expression Aleks was looking at him earlier.

Aleks keeps an arm around Brett’s neck but raises his other hand to press two fingers against Brett’s lips, feeling at the soft plush before he leans in just to steal one more kiss from those lips that have become home to him.

“Want me to turn off the lights?" Brett asks.

“No.” Aleks shakes his head. “I need to see you.”

Brett gives a wordless nod. He does too.

He sets Aleks down with care on the bed and Aleks sits himself up on his knees so he can be level with Brett once more. Aleks watches Brett come back to the edge of the bed with heightened interest and once Brett is in his reach, he’s immediately grabbing onto Brett’s shirt to seal their lips in a crushing kiss to continue where they left off.

Maybe it’s not the earth they have inhabited after the destruction of their datastream. It can’t be, otherwise Aleks’ senses wouldn’t be felt beyond the strictly human sphere with just one kiss, and he wouldn’t feel this estrangement from their earthly world.

They’re inhabiting the cosmos. They’re inhabiting interstellar magnificence that shines all of the planets in sparkling glows and covered in dustings of blinding stardust, and this earth is just the remnants of bright stars coming together.

Either way it’s spun, Brett is that ultra being that steals Aleks’ attention.

Brett will always be Aleks’ home, in every single universe, and that home is placed right inside his heart.


	35. I Love You, Brett Hundley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Aleks engage in some hot and needy lovemaking, and Aleks utters words that should solidify their relationship once and for all.

“Yeah.” Brett nods. “I need you too.”

Then he’s hopping off the stool to pull Aleks up into his arms to cradle him close to his chest. He prepares himself to hear a gasp, a startled yelp, but he hears no indication that Aleks was surprised and when he looks down to his beloved, all he sees etched in the beautiful, natural expressions of his face is awe and wonder.

Brett knows that it takes some time for Aleks to let his guards down, and it’s not because Aleks doesn’t want to be vulnerable, because he does. He wants to be cradled and loved, wants the security that big, strong, loving arms can bring him, but he’s afraid to be seen as weak for expressing insecurities and doubts. He wants to act like everything is fine, like the world isn’t crumbling around him and it’s not but if he feels like it is, Brett needs to build up the world piece by piece until it’s all intact once more.

That starts with a kiss to Aleks’ lips. It’s gentle, it lingers, and it continues to do so as he leads Aleks along the first floor to ascend the stairs to their room. What was once Brett’s safe haven estranged from the caustic realities of the world is now a shared space for him and the love of his life and shows signs of wear. Aleks has made it a home already and it makes Brett feel more at home in turn.

He was alone before. He wasn’t lonely by any means - he’s part of a generous friend group and he considers himself quite lucky when it comes to the trials and tribulations of sex and romance but he never really had a good handle of what love could feel like, in realest terms, until Aleks made his presence in his life much more clear.

Brett pushes the door closed with his body, not wanting to take away his attention from the beautiful man in his arms, and then he’s making his way to the bed. It’s then that he has to pull apart from Aleks’ lips, but he licks his own clean just to savor the sweet taste of vanilla. When he stares into Aleks’ eyes, his own rich and warm with awe and wonder, is when Aleks raises his fingers to press against Brett’s lips.

He closes his eyes and huffs out a breath of relief against Aleks’ fingers. The touch of the fingers is always the most powerful, if you ask Brett. It’s not forced - it’s tender and it shows care for the other person, it shows that Aleks treasures him like he’s a fine piece of artwork and Brett can feel Aleks’ expensive appraisal of him with Aleks’ peck to his lips.

He asks his appraiser if he wants the lights turned off but Aleks says “no.” He shakes his head. “I need to see you.”

Honestly? Brett does too.

All he gives is a nod as he gingerly sets Aleks down on the bed. He reaches into his pockets to place his things on the nightstand and when he comes back to the edge of the bed, Aleks is pulling him closer by his shirt to crush their lips together.

It’s now that the world finally shuts itself off to him and Aleks.

The sensorium they have placed themselves in heightens all of their senses and takes them far, far into the radiant galaxies above. Brett moans at the intense feelings and wraps an arm around Aleks’ waist, his other hand slipping under the front of Aleks’ shirt to feel at that soft stomach he loves so much.

Aleks’ skin is soft all over. It’s not warm, but then that’s what Brett is there for. He’s there to be the furnace that keeps Aleks warm throughout the night and he’s accepted that role from the moment they decided to make this a constant, ongoing affair.

Brett takes his role as Aleks’ protector quite seriously, as he’ll do anything to ensure that he’s happy and that he isn’t being attacked by anxious thoughts. The news of James leaving is obviously a big hit to his psyche, and Brett can see why it’s the catalyst for Aleks to worry about everyone else leaving, particularly Brett, but it’s funny.

It’s funny because Brett worries about Aleks leaving. Well, he did until a few minutes ago.

Looks like they’ve both satiated that particular worry. Brett bets that Aleks is still worried but if he can at least assure him of this, then that’s a big step for Aleks’ happiness, and thusly his.

Brett nibbles along Aleks’ bottom lip and Aleks gives a moan as a hand moves to grab the tuft of hair at the base of Brett’s skull. He tugs at the mane and Brett bites at his lip so he can slowly drag it out, looking into Aleks’ eyes as he does so. Brett lets go but soothes the pain with his tongue, which slides back and forth before shoving into his mouth, and he closes his eyes to hone all of his senses on the sensual exploration of a mouth he honestly, knows far too much at this point.

He never gets tired of exploring Aleks though, just like he’ll never get tired of reassuring Aleks that everything is fine. Brett’s reward for placating his lover _ is _ the exploration of his mouth and his body, and Brett intends to do both of those thoroughly tonight. He’s going to explore Aleks all over and leave no stone unturned.

Aleks will be drowning in him tonight.

He’ll be so far gone and entwined with Brett that he won’t be able to dread over those anxious thoughts that have distracted him. Aleks will be so enraptured in them, in the hot fusion of their souls melding together from the electrifying pleasure of love making.

What they’re about to do isn’t sex. It’s not fucking. Much like when Brett gave Aleks that gift of being the first man inside him, this is love making. This isn’t about pleasure in that sense, but rather the pleasure in being as close to one another as they can.

Of course for Brett, it’s been like that on his side for awhile.

Aleks’ tongue slides against Brett’s and plays with his for some time but the more eager Brett’s tongue becomes, the more Aleks holds his own back so Brett can better excavate the treasures his mouth carries. He’s moaning and pushing harder at the back of Brett’s head, his hand tugging him closer by his shirt, already needing so much more than what Brett is giving him.

Brett can resonate with that, considering he always fucking needs more of Aleks.

After a successful exploration, Brett deems Aleks’ mouth the number one treasure in the world to no surprise. He slides his tongue out and pulls away just enough to get his breath back. Hands move to grab at the hem of Aleks’ shirt, Aleks removes his hands, and then Brett is pulling the shirt up and over Aleks’ head before tossing it to the side.

While he’s at it, Brett tips his hat off. One day, he might just take that plunge and shave his head, because it's inevitable, but Aleks really likes his hair despite Brett’s misgivings and as history has shown, Brett will do many things to keep Aleks happy.

Brett tips Aleks’ head by the chin and leans forward to seal their lips again. It’s brief, and afterwards, he presses his thumb on Aleks’ bottom lip while he looks up into Aleks’ eyes, his own darkening with pointed lust.

“You know how beautiful you are?” Brett asks.

“Beyond description?” Aleks begins to tease, but he’s moaning right at the end because Brett’s grabbing a handful of his pec and rubbing his thumb over his nipple and fuck, Brett knows how much he loves that shit.

Brett chuckles lowly and moves his hand from Aleks’ chin to hold onto the side of his face. “Always and forever,” he says quietly.

Brett should make it more apparent to Aleks at some point how much he loves his chest. There’s just something about grabbing at Aleks’ pecs and touching his nipples that makes his dick twitch, though to be fair, everything about Aleks has that effect on him.

“H-Have you,” Aleks closes his eyes, “uh, have you found any words to describe it though? Cause I-” he moans and arches his chest into Brett’s hand, _ “fuck, _ I’d really like to hear it.”

“Oh, you wanna hear details of how beautiful you are?” Brett moves to leave a kiss to Aleks’ collarbone. “How you’re more beautiful than anyone else? How they all just pale in comparison to you?”

_ “Brett,” _ Aleks whines and brings up his hands to hold onto Brett’s shoulders. “Yes, _ yes.” _

“Haven’t found the words,” Brett murmurs as he continues his path of kisses. “But I thought I made a breakthrough once.”

“Y-Yeah?” Aleks gasps. “How so?”

“You know that saying? That we’re stardust? How we’re made of star remnants?”

“That bullshit theory?” Aleks breathes out a laugh.

Brett chuckles. _ Good to know we’re on the same page. _

“Yeah,” Brett confirms. “But now I think there’s some truth to it.” His kisses make it to Aleks’ neck, where he then sticks out his hot tongue to press it to Aleks’ skin so he can lick up along his throat to press a big kiss right under his chin.

“Oh, _ fuck me, _ babe.” Aleks tightens his hold on Brett’s shoulders. “Can you mark me? Please?”

“Gonna mark you all over,” Brett assures lowly. “You’re all mine, I promise. You, and all those star remnants that make you, it’s mine.”

Aleks would laugh if Brett wasn’t kissing his neck now, so instead he just huffs air. “S-So I’m stardust, is what you’re saying?”

“Yeah,” Brett says. “But it still doesn’t describe you the way I want.”

“Any - fuck - any uh, other breakthroughs?”

Brett stops to hum in thought. His thumb stops at Aleks’ nipple, but continues to slowly rub the nub just so he can continue to hear Aleks make those pretty whimpers. “Hmm… I guess there’s one.” He leaves a kiss upon his skin. “We both know I don’t believe in God, but I’d say your existence could possibly be enough to confirm his.”

Aleks huffs again. “I’d say it’s your existence, but I appreciate the thought.”

“You mean everything to me, Aleks.” Brett moves up to kiss Aleks on the lips. “Don’t forget that.” And then he’s moving back down to latch onto Aleks’ neck to start on a hickey, one of the few he’ll leave on Aleks’ neck.

“Oh, _ oh, _ Brett,” Aleks whimpers and closes his eyes. “N-No, I haven’t. You, y-you mean everything to me too, Brett.”

As Brett sucks the marks onto Aleks’ pale neck, he continues to knead at Aleks’ pec. He gives it a hard squeeze before he soothes it better with gentle rubs, and the hand he has on the side of Aleks’ cheek moves to thread into his hair - the easy thing to do to soothe Aleks, a trick he’s picked up on over the months.

Brett doesn’t ever think he’ll find the right words to describe Aleks, but he figures that’s just the way it is. The only way to describe Aleks is _ Aleks. _ He could describe Aleks objectively, by talking about what a kind and creative person he is, how loyal he is, how funny he is. He could do the same with his looks, by describing his bright blonde hair and ever changing brown eyes, that pale skin, that still slender body and long legs, but objective descriptions aren’t enough.

Nobody is going to see Aleks the way Brett will. It’d make life easier if they did, because then Aleks wouldn’t be so anxious and worried about people leaving, because people wouldn’t be leaving if they loved Aleks like Brett did, but that’s why love is special.

You can love many people, but there’s that one person you’ll love above anyone else for all of time. For Brett, it’s Aleks.

He wants to think Aleks loves him in much the same fashion. It’s just a matter of time. It’s always been a matter of time with them.

Brett keeps the marks going, down his neck, his collarbone, and even his pecs, and each one tears a moan from Aleks’ beautiful lips, sometimes unearthing a lovely whimper of “Brett”. It’s a haphazard line of hickies that trails down, each one speaking to one of the many reasons Brett is in love with him.

The marks stop, however, and shift to hard pressed kisses the further Brett continues down his body. When he makes it to Aleks’ stomach, that lovely pudge he loves to grab and touch, that lovely pudge he’ll have no problem reassuring Aleks of that it’s absolutely _ adorable, _he sticks out his tongue to briefly dip into Aleks’ belly button, and he blinks his eyes open to stare up at Aleks to gauge his reaction.

Still moaning and whimpering, just the way he likes it.

Brett mouths a kiss over his belly button before he pulls away enough to grab the hem of his own shirt to throw it off his body. Then he’s undoing his jeans, letting them fall to the floor just so he can give himself some breathing room - that sort of fun will come after he reassures Aleks of how very much loved he is, in every single way.

“You know what I realized? What the perfect way to describe you is?” Brett asks.

Aleks sits himself up straighter on the bed to look down and watch as Brett undoes his jeans to pull them down his legs, along with his boxers, for his hard cock to be released from their material confines. He bites at his lip and blinks up to Brett with raised eyebrows. “Well what’s that?”

Brett grins and grabs onto Aleks’ soft sides with his strong hands. “You’re just Aleks,” he says softly. “It’s as simple as that.”

Aleks’ shoulders relax and his eyes burn darker as he stares at the man offering him all the love in the world. Before he can even find the words to explain, because there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain to Brett how he feels in this surreal moment, he’s cut off by his own moan as Brett suddenly deepthroats him.

“Aw fuck, dude,” Aleks moans and throws his head back, a hand dropping to thread into Brett’s mane of hair. “When are you going to teach me to do this shit to you?”

If Brett’s mouth wasn’t so full of cock, he’d laugh, because that sort of _ has _been what they were doing - the more Aleks sucks him off, tries to take him all at once, the easier it’ll be for him to one day do what Brett just did. Repetition is key, isn’t it?

Instead, he just looks up to Aleks, and though Aleks can’t see the look in his eyes with his thrown back head, he can imagine Brett can feel that devious glint burning into him regardless. He stays down for a good minute, breathing in through his nose and his nails digging hard into Aleks’ sides when it becomes less comfortable, and then he’s gradually pulling back up to the head.

He lets off with a _ pop, _a string of saliva acting as a tether between his lips and Aleks’ dick. When Aleks finally gets the strength to look back down, Brett raises an eyebrow at him as he tears the tether with his tongue. “You mind if I go for seconds? Because uh,” he chuckles as his hands graze down Aleks’ sides to grab onto his asscheeks to pull him forward, “I really don’t get to suck you off as much as I’d like.”

“You really don’t,” Aleks breathes out a chuckle. “But that’s more my fault.”

“Right now, Aleks, I don’t think you could be at fault for anything.”

Then he’s diving back in to deepthroat him once more, only for a few seconds before he’s pulling back to start bobbing his head at a nice, steady pace. For a dude that hasn’t started to suck cock until literally the beginning of this year, he’s actually kind of a natural for it - good thing too if it lets Aleks think he’s a sex god.

But Brett considers Aleks the true sex god between him. If Aleks can take his anal virginity and make Brett feel like _ that _afterwards, he’s gotta have serious skill - and he does. Have serious skill, that is.

Aleks is moaning and pulling Brett closer by his hair, his hips rolling up to try to meet his mouth. His other hand is gripping tightly at the comforters of their bed, tightening and and loosening with every bout of pleasure that sends through his body at the wonderful way Brett sucks him off.

Every so often, Brett will pull up from him just to lave his shaft with affection from his tongue. His tongue will poke out, leave a slow path upwards before it goes back down, and then it’ll tease the underside of his head, where all those lovely nerve endings are. When Brett gets to doing this, he lets his hands massage Aleks’ sides, feeling them up and loving them with those tender fingers of his.

Pleasure is always the name of the game with sex. That’s just a fact of life, and Brett is going to make Aleks feel a whole lot of it, like he does every other night. His pleasure is solely derived from Aleks’ and he would not be happy with himself if he got off but Aleks didn’t, and thankfully that hasn’t happened - it never will.

But more than anything else tonight, the true nature of what they’re doing falls right into making Aleks feel loved, and reassuring him that he’s not a bother. He can come to Brett for anything, no matter how stupid he thinks it is, because that’s simply what you do in a relationship. If you can’t handle that, why be in on at all?

Brett’s been ready to take this to the next level with Aleks - where they’re officially a couple, with all the labels and what not. So he can handle anything Aleks will give him, and he’ll love every moment of it.

When Brett gets back to taking Aleks into his mouth again, those tender fingers crawl downwards to grab onto Aleks’ thighs so he can force Aleks onto his back, taking a sudden gasp from the younger man - because after all this time, he’s still taken aback by Brett’s strength.

He sits up more to keep sucking off Aleks the way he wants, but the fingers of one hand crawl over his thigh, against his ass, before they slide into the crack so one finger can easily poke into his entrance.

That’s always guaranteed to get a big reaction out of Aleks.

“Fuck, more!” Aleks pleads. “I want so much more, Brett, c’mon.” With a huff, he pulls Brett closer again and tries to push his ass down on the one finger already moving back and forth in him. “The faster you open me up-”

“I’ll get to it, baby, don’t worry,” Brett assures quietly after pulling off him once more. “I’m gonna take real good care of you tonight.” He leaves a soft kiss to Aleks’ inner thigh. “I promise.”

Aleks closes his eyes and lets his head relax on the bed, his hand loosening from Brett’s mane so he can cross his arms behind him. “I just need you in me, babe,” he says just as quiet. “Everything feels so fucking right when you’re in me, like, nothing else matters - it’s just you and me and I don’t gotta think about anything but that.”

_ “It just fucking means a lot,” Aleks says. “I don’t let just anyone do that shit with me. It’s _ ** _special,_ ** _ dude, and like, I always feel so much closer to you after you come in me. And when you’re not filling me up, I don’t feel… I don’t feel-” _

_ “Complete?” _

_ Aleks gives a small sigh of relief. “Yeah,” he says quietly. _

Brett remembers that conversation with complete clarity. He remembers every single word, every single action during it, because in that moment when they were discussing it, he never felt closer to Aleks.

He’d felt the same way, that he was never complete until he filled Aleks. It’s not the sex itself, but the act of Aleks allowing Brett to see his vulnerability, much like he is right now.

The complete fusion of two bodies, both in personality in soul, can only be done to its fullest capabilities when having sex. It’s probably different for other people, and Brett doesn’t necessarily need sex but he does need to be as close to Aleks as he can, and sex is the easiest way to achieve it - so of course, he’ll seek it out.

So he gets why Aleks is desperate for Brett to be in him right now. He gets why Aleks wants it all now, because he does too.

Brett bites at his lip as he pulls his finger out from Aleks, and then he stands up on his feet. “And you know I feel the same way,” he affirms while pushing his briefs down to be as naked as Aleks, as equal with his lover. “Can you move to the back for me?”

Aleks crawls his way to the headboard to do just that, and Brett is walking to the nightstand to retrieve the lube from within before he joins Aleks on the bed. He lays himself on his side, and he manhandles Aleks onto his side also so Aleks’ back can face his chest, the way they've cuddled many times before.

“There we go,” Brett whispers.

As he gets his fingers slick with lube, his eyes trace over the lines of Aleks, from the back of his neck that Brett can just barely see the edges of his hickies from, his shoulder blades, his spine, the general expanse of his back, and the main prize that is his thick ass. When Brett grabs at it with his other hand, just to give it a squeeze and a small jiggle, he’s very pleased at just how much it ends up jiggling.

So he likes a nice, bubbly ass. Who doesn’t?

“I love your ass,” Brett says. “I mean, I love all parts of you just the same, but right now? Yeah.” He nods as rubs two fingers down the crack of Aleks’ ass to slowly push inside. “Your ass is definitely my priority.”

Aleks moans and cants his head back onto Brett’s shoulder with closed eyes. “Yeah, and your dick is my fucking priority right now.”

“Be patient, baby,” Brett rumbles against his ear before he kisses the side of his head. “You’re gonna be just fine, okay? Have I ever not given you what you wanted?”

Aleks hums and shakes his head as he brings a hand back to clutch onto the back of Brett’s head from the front. “No,” he answers. “You give me everything - and more.”

“I’ll always give you everything in the world, Aleks,” Brett promises as his fingers scissor Aleks’ insides, working to open him quickly so he can really show Aleks just how much he loves him - and then he can continue with all his bodily worship.

“I would too, Brett. I promise.”

“Oh yeah?”

Aleks nods, his fingers clutching tighter to Brett’s hair. “You’re my other half, dude. Of course.”

Brett chuckles softly. “Saying I’m your soulmate?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Oh.

Okay.

Aleks thinks Brett is his soulmate.

It escaped into the open just like that, without a musical number or opening act. It quietly made its appearance with no big deal, like it’s something that they both knew this whole time and it was only a restatement of what was already there.

That’s sort of how this relationship has been though, a bunch of unspoken truths that take awhile longer to finally become spoken. The spoken truths will always be needed, however, as the confirmation that it’s not just a hopefully agreed upon thought and is a reality, not a fantasy, is much appreciated.

Especially for someone like Brett, who’s in love with Aleks and is always wondering what unspoken truths are actually truths and aren’t just a delusion in his love addled brain.

“Remember when you said we’re tied in a way that we’d just be worse off without each other?” Brett keeps with his motions while his other hand runs up and down Aleks’ back, to soothe him and let him know that what he’s asking isn’t accusatory. “Is that when you realized it? That we were soulmates?”

Aleks wriggles his hips around Brett’s fingers with a moan. “I… uh, yeah.” He furrows his eyebrows together. “Yeah. That was totally it,” Aleks confirms with more confidence as his head drops forward.

“Well, well, well,” Brett purrs as he sits up just a bit more so he can bring his head around. “I’ll have you know that I just happen to agree with you on the fact that we’re soulmates.”

Aleks’ eyes brighten, much like his smile, and his gaze dips to Brett’s lips. “Is that so?”

“Very much so,” Brett murmurs. “And I want a kiss from my soulmate.”

They lock themselves in a soft, passionate kiss while Brett continues to open Aleks, a new linkage being formed between hearing and feeling which ensues that this phenomenon apprehended by one sense is instantly transposed into the other to maximize its intensity.

It’s not the hot nights they spend, fucking for hours on end, that are intense. It’s not the drunk nights they spend with friends doing a whole bunch of dangerous shit, that is intense. It’s the sensuous nights they spend, getting to know each other all over again, that are intense.

In the changeless, celestial realm beyond the stars, an interstellar plane that oversees all of reality and every single universe in the sphere, this is what’s the epitome of _ intense. _ Aleks’ lips are burning hot, like rampant charging electricity circulating through wires, and Brett’s moans as they share in the glorious experience of each other vibrates through their shared entities and sets them both alight, makes them both _ alive. _

The relation between what we see and what we know is never settled. Each evening, we _ see _ the sunset, we _ know _ the earth is turning, yet the knowledge and explanations never quite fits the sight. For Brett right now, however, the relation between what he sees and feels, with Aleks smiling so bright at him and so enthusiastically reciprocating a love filled kiss, absolutely fits with Aleks saying they’re soulmates.

It helps bring sense to some things - not all things, but some.

And this knowledge frees them from the binds of time and space, for them to coordinate any and all points of the universe, wherever they want them to be.

All points in the universe at this instance in time are coordinated in such a way that says it’s finally time.

They pull away from each other’s lips so slowly, both panting hotly against each other with the same thought in their mind that something is missing but both of them not exactly knowing what _ could _ be missing. They look all over each other, trying to figure what that thing could be, but they just get lost in drinking in the others unique beauty.

“God, you are beautiful,” Brett tells him in a whisper. “You’re - fuck, you’re the most beautiful person I know, Aleks.”

“So? Are you gonna fuck the most beautiful person you know, hottest person I know?”

Ah, yes! That’s what they were missing - Brett’s penis inside him.

You’d think that wouldn’t be something Brett forgets when he’s mesmerized by everything beautiful about Aleks but when you’re in love, the sight of the beloved is enough to melt your mind - because just the sight of them brings a completeness that no words and no embrace can match.

“Hey, what did I say about being patient?” Brett teases as he pulls out his fingers. “Don’t make me become daddy.”

Aleks grins and looks back to watch Brett grab the lube to slick his shaft. “I personally wouldn’t mind a loving daddy.” He’s bringing back a hand to grab onto his asscheek, spreading it open enough to show off his hole. “And I really need my loving daddy to give me some _ loving, _if you know what I mean.” Then, he’s biting at his lip and looking at Brett a bit unsure. “But… seriously, I need you.” He swallows. “Please? Fuck me now?”

“Now, Aleksandr,” Brett grabs Aleks’ hand to take it off his ass so he can keep it spread with his hand instead, “you know daddy is going to give you _ all _the loving in the world and then some. What kind of daddy would I be if I didn’t?” He looks down to guide himself to Aleks’ stretched opening, pressing just the head inside-

_ “Daddy,” _ Aleks moans out and presses his head into the pillow, hands clutching at the comforters and his hold tightening with each inch pressed into him. “I need it all, daddy, please-”

“I got you, angel, relax,” Brett soothes in between his moans - and it’s really hard to soothe Aleks in such a sweet tone when Aleks feels so fucking good and tight, but Brett manages. There’s a reason he’s such a good daddy. “There we go… that’s it, baby…” He closes his eyes with a drawn out moan when he bottoms out and then he’s wrapping an arm around Aleks’ waist to keep him close.

Brett drops his head against Aleks’ neck, hand pressing into his soft stomach as he begins with slow thrusts, pulling all the way out before he pushes all the way back in, with long moans from Aleks each time. Each time the moan ends, it starts all over again when Brett makes his presence known all the way inside once more.

“I love having you in me,” Aleks whimpers and clutches onto Brett’s arm with both hands. “I just - fuck, I just want you in me, I don’t even care what you do after that, you’re all I _ need, _ Brett.”

Brett clutches tighter to Aleks, because he can never be too close, and begins to lay kisses down the back of his neck. “You’re the only one that matters to me, Aleks,” he murmurs. “You and us, that’s all I care about.”

“And you’re not gonna leave?”

“Not for anything or anyone.”

“No matter what happens?”

“I’m here to the very end.”

To say _“death do we part”_ is still not accurate, because Brett won’t let death separate them. The day that comes, he’ll just take his heart and place it in the palm of Aleks’ hands, and vice versa.

He does not promise to hold Aleks and to cherish him. He does not promise not to leave Aleks. He does not promise to be there in sickness and in health, because promises like these are for optimistic, hopeful people.

The only thing he has to promise Aleks is himself.

The hand on Aleks’ presses to his skin and drags up his body, over his stomach, over his marked pecs and neck, and back for his tender fingers to card through his hair, and Aleks keeps his head tilted forward to give Brett better access. Brett’s unoccupied hand is used to steady himself, so he can keep driving into Aleks, going quicker than before but maintaining that steadiness - because being steady is the most important thing right now.

There’re waves of pleasure he feels, as he does everytime they fuck, but it’s so fleeting compared to the deep emotions he feels for Aleks, looking at him and listening to him. Listening to Aleks moan and whimper his approval fills Brett with unmitigated love, and when he looks at Aleks, he’s reminded of how lucky he is to be doing this with the love of his life.

Even if Aleks isn’t at that stage yet, he will be.

“You feeling good?” Brett peers into the back of Aleks’ head, wishing he could see Aleks right now but not wanting to change positions unless Aleks makes that need apparent. “You have everything you want right now, baby?”

“I need you-”

“You got me-”

“I-I need to look at you, daddy,” Aleks whines. “I-I need to _ see _ you, please, Brett.”

He and Aleks are always in sync with their thoughts. It’s why Brett so readily believes they’re soulmates, because how else could they be so in tune with each other? It’s the only way to explain the quick transfer of thoughts without speaking it into material existence, because they share it on that celestial plane that only a pair of lovers can inhabit.

“Alright, I can do that.”

Brett grabs his shaft to slowly pull himself out and he blows out a breath at the coolness that hits him. He misses being inside Aleks’ liquid heat already, but he knows Aleks is missing it too - maybe just a bit more than him for the moment, actually.

“Lie on your back,” Brett tells him. “Spread your legs for me, okay?”

Brett watches Aleks turn onto his back, their eyes staring into one another’s as Aleks spreads his legs. Aleks licks along his lips openly, clearly awaiting Brett to join him again to continue the great thing they’ve started.

“Daddy?” Aleks crosses an arm behind his head and trails his other down his torso. “You coming?”

“Oh yeah,” Brett rasps as he makes his way between his legs. “Nothing’s going to stop me from coming to you, baby.”

_ Never. _

He keeps his gaze locked into Aleks’ as he pushes back in, slow like before, and Aleks’ loud mewls as Brett pushes back in continue to be one of the hottest things he’s ever heard. The added pleasure of being able to look at Aleks in his throes of pleasure hits him differently, and for all they’ve been through this week, the visual reminder that the other is there, not just a body, is much needed.

Once Brett is sheathed all the way again, he picks back up the steady pace, but he’s got his arms wrapped around Aleks’ shoulders to hold him close to his chest as he does so. Aleks is quickly wrapping his arms around Brett’s shoulders, a hand moving into his hair and nails pressing hard into his scalp while he continues to mewl in the growing, electrifying pleasure, right against Brett’s ear.

Their bodies are pressed warmly together now, hairy torso on hairless torso, hips pressed neatly together like puzzle pieces, and everything that was missing in their lives coming together to create the symmetry that only a perfect balance could bring.

Brett is panting and groaning into Aleks’ ear, nails digging into Aleks’ soft flesh like if he lets go for even a second now, that Aleks will float away into that datastream and they’ll have to start all the way back from square one. He’s come too far now to lose Aleks, and he intends to keep their relationship steadily riding the tracks to that happy ending every couple hopes to achieve.

So he takes Aleks with him. He’ll always take Aleks with him, because wherever he goes, Aleks will too. That’s how it is, and that’s how Brett will always want it to be.

_ “Brett,” _ Aleks moans out, “you’re so good, Brett! Don’t stop! Don’t, d-don’t, please!”

“Not going too,” Brett groans before he kisses Aleks’ cheek. “Never going to stop.”

To make that more known, he speeds up the pace of his thrusts, as well as the force, and he bites down hard on Aleks’ neck with a growl when he feels the sharp intake of pleasure carry through his veins.

_ “Daddy!” _ Aleks cries out. “Daddy, yes, _ yes, _ th-that’s what I need, it’s just what I need!” He wraps his legs around Brett’s waist, ankles pressing into his ass. “Thank you so much-”

“Don’t thank me for anything, angel,” Brett assures after pulling away, just so he can press their foreheads together. “I gotta be thanking you.”

“Yeah?” Aleks’ gaze dip to Brett’s lips just for a moment before they look into his eyes. “For what?”

“Everything,” Brett tells him in the edge of a whisper. “Moving in with me. Being with me. Dating me. _ Fucking _ me. Every single fucking thing, Aleks.” He holds himself with one arm now, the other hand cupping Aleks’ cheek. “Because you’re my everything, and you’re my whole life.”

Aleks wets his lips and brings up his hands to cup Brett’s cheeks. “You don’t-”

“I do mean it,” Brett cuts him off. “Out of everybody we know, out of everybody in the _ world, _ you’re the only one that makes me feel this way. You’re the only one that makes me feel like… like as long as I’m with you, then it’ll be okay.” He cracks a smile. “Aleks, I could be homeless but as long as we’re together, I know that we can make it through. You’re all I need, and I don’t need anyone or anything else. So when I say that you’re everything to me, you are _ everything.” _

Aleks is looking all over Brett’s face, dark pupils roaming around in search for something but Brett has no idea, because his own pupils are roaming all over Aleks’ face, just to categorize every mystical feature about him. On everyone else, they’re just eyes and mouths and noses, the typical things, but Aleks is a work of art. Aleks is not_ everyone else, _ because he’s Aleks.

Aleks is priceless. Those warm, dark brown eyes speak to the soft man that he really is, that he hides to the public but never to Brett. Those pretty, pink lips are a reminder of all the kisses they’ve shared, from the hot and heavy ones in Brett’s office to the lovely little ones on top a couch, bundled under blankets and blankets aplenty. Those cute cheeks, another reminder for all the flurries of kisses Brett has assaulted him with all of a sudden.

It’s memories that lie in these features, each memory that helped build to a realization that he’s in love with Aleks.

Then Aleks is crashing their lips together, with the loudest moan Brett has ever heard.

So he fucks Aleks with all the power in the world now, just to hear him get louder, to cling onto Brett with more desperation than he's had for anything else in his life.

It does the opposite of what Brett wants, because Aleks ends up pulling away to cry out _ hard _ against Brett’s lips, but there’s something else that comes after that makes it all worthwhile.

“Fuck,_ I love you, daddy!” _

In the midst of passion, Brett isn’t even shocked to hear it. He’s not surprised, because of course Aleks loves him.

Why should it be surprising? Because it’s the first time it’s said out loud?

In the back of Brett’s mind, it’s something he’ll ask Aleks about tomorrow morning. This, of all things that have happened in their relationship, deserves a grandiose explanation, but right now, while they’re _ making love? _ Aleks telling Brett he loves him makes so much sense.

It seamlessly fits with the threads stitching their lives together. It keeps Brett in contact with the multiple outward lifely facets, and this ceaselessly invites the other senses into a concentrated exchange on Brett’s part, and an exchange that has been whirling in his mind for, what he thinks, is far too long.

“God, I love you too, angel,” Brett growls out through gritted teeth, eyes slamming shut to really show his angel just how powerful and accurate that statement means. “So _ fucking _much, and you better remember that.”

Aleks quickly nods and cries “yes, daddy, yes!” and his hands move once more, one into Brett’s hair, that always steady fixture to reality, and the other to harshly grab onto that big, strong bicep. “I-I love you, _ I love you.” _

“You love me?” Brett looks down between them to watch himself pull out to the tip. “How much?”

“Daddy, please,” Aleks whines and claws at Brett’s bicep with his nails. “I-I love you so much, more than anything, now_ please, _ fuck me-”

Brett chuckles lowly before he slams back inside with a loud moan. “Fuck yeah, whatever my angel wants.” The sound of their skin is slapping together with his brutal thrusts again, and mixes well with the alluring notes from Aleks’ cries. “Whatever you_ fucking _ want, Aleks.”

“Y-You love me, daddy?” Aleks gasps. “Do you?”

“Love you forever, Aleks,” Brett tells him.

“Always?”

“Always.”

There is now no element of their landscape, of the colorful nebulas, that is void of expressive resonance and power; any movement at this point is now a gesture, and any sound may be a voice, a meaningful utterance that makes this all seem so obvious in hindsight.

Before, they were briskly floating amidst the digital notes of a serenade that emanated out of nothing, a hedonistic world of wireframes and virtual skies, but are now entwined within the brimless sparkling pool of space, interstellar cosmos where the stars and moons lie. The hallowed pool of spacely light is adorned with the diamonds of these stars and moons, that hold thousands of dreams, and are weaved within the cosmic ethers of divinity - all which hang in the exotic frame of the galaxy, the exotic frame that houses_ them, _ Brett and Aleks.

On this night, a door opens; one that leads to hundreds of other doors, brimming with possibilities for them and their future.


	36. Stillborn Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett is feeling rather agitated after Aleks goes back on some words said last night, and as a result, the latest round of Brett VS Asher is the most feisty it's ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, if the fandom wasn't basically non existent and I wasn't so anxious of it, I'd probably write a platonic Brett and Asher one shot because I think their interactions are golden. But I'll just keep those G-rated headcanons to myself :')

**November 16th, 2017**

The door does open to hundreds of other doors, but all are closed. The possibilities that lie beyond what the eye can see are held back by one man scared to realize, in the utmost state of mind, how deep his feelings for another man run.

There’s only one thing running through Aleks’ mind when he wakes up the next morning to see Brett nowhere in sight.

_ Why the fuck did I tell him I loved him?! _

Aleks knows why he said it.

He took the brunt of some emotionally heavy stuff and in all his sensitivity and extreme vulnerability, Brett was there to pick up the pieces like he always has, always will. Brett made him feel loved, cared for, and desired, every soft and sensual step of the way.

Brett literally wrapped Aleks in his big, strong, loving arms, and fucked the reassurance into him, along with a heavy dose of love. Aleks felt that deep inside him, long after Brett came when they immediately fell asleep afterwards.

_ Yawn. _

Aleks turns around quickly to see Brett coming back into the bedroom from the adjoining bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

His mane of hair is sort of sticking out in different places at the back and he’s got some marks on his neck and collarbone from last night, but Brett’s still as beautiful as ever.

Well, no. He’s more beautiful, in fact. He’s bathed in light from an eternal glow, of sunlight and moonlight and starlight, and Aleks really does wonder how he lucked out with a man like this - a man that can only be described as Brett, because words and phrases aren’t succinct enough to do so.

“Hey, babe,” Brett greets in a groggy tone. “You sleep okay?”

He swallows and looks down to the comforter as he sits up on his knees. “Uh, yeah,” he answers quietly. “I slept fine.”

Brett smiles and nods. “I did too,” he agrees. “Slept better than I have in awhile.”

The bed dips underneath with Brett’s weight and Aleks’ eyes close as Brett leans over to peck him on the cheek, which still grants Aleks warm security as it always has, but there’s still the unspoken nature of what they did last night that has to be discussed - not what they did, but rather what was said, what _ Aleks _said.

Because Aleks had said those things in the heat of the moment.

He knows that Brett knows he said them in the heat of the moment, otherwise Brett wouldn’t have so readily gone along with it.

You can’t… you can’t _ love _ someone like that just weeks into dating them. You just. You can’t. It’s not realistic. That is majorly, totally not them.

Aleks considers himself to be a bit of a hopeless romantic. He has this big idea for love, he has such high hopes for what to expect in a relationship and he’s prepared to give it his all for that special person and he believes it’s Brett, but that’s different from being _ in love _with Brett.

He has the_ potential _ to fall in love with Brett. Aleks greatly wants to realize that potential but right now, when they’ve just started this new thing, it’s not smart to rush it. He needs to take his time and really think about his feelings instead of blurting them in the middle of an emotionally charged love making session.

Because they were definitely making love. No doubt about it.

Still doesn’t mean Aleks is in love with him, and vice versa.

“You’re still going out to get your hair done tomorrow, right?” Brett asks. “Missing work?”

“Uh, yeah.” Aleks scratches the nape of his neck. “I’ll be running some errands though so it’s not like I’m just taking a vacation.”

Brett chuckles and grabs Aleks by the waist to pull him closer. “I know that,” he says softly as he leans in to kiss his cheek once again, and then he’s leaving a trail of gentle kisses over the marks he laid upon him the night before. “You’re fine, babe. We’re more than fine.”

Aleks takes a deep breath as he looks off the other way, his fingers tapping incessantly against the comforters as he tries to drum up the courage to address this, but much like how he just fucking came out with it last night, he needs to do that again now.

“Brett, uh - the stuff I said last night-”

“Yeah, about that stuff.” Brett kisses his way back up to Aleks’ ear. “What _ about _that stuff?”

“You knew it was just like, part of the fuck talk, right? I didn’t actually like… right? You know that?”

Brett stills, for a long few moments, and his lips just hover over Aleks’ ear.

“You didn’t mean any of it?” he asks in his normal tone of voice.

“No, I mean,” Aleks sighs, “like, I totally love you but not like that, you know? It was like, heat of the moment. You get that kind of shit, right?”

“So you’re… not in love with me?”

“No.” Aleks blinks and looks down to Brett. “Are you?”

Aleks says it as a tease, but the resulting silence makes him think that maybe he _ shouldn’t _have teased it after all.

But there’s no way Brett could be in love with him. Brett’s the one that needed to be convinced to fuck Aleks, to be convinced that they should be friends with benefits, and Aleks is the one that directly told Brett they should start dating. It’s always been Aleks to initiate those big things and really take them to the next level.

Even then, Brett has always let Aleks know the truth. If he’s feeling a certain way, he’ll put it out there in the open. He’s not one to hide things, and Aleks doesn’t think he’s able to hide things.

Not anymore, anyways.

The silence is just a manifestation of these anxieties, however, because Brett just scoffs and says, “no, of course not.”

It should be what Aleks wants to hear, because he’s not in love with Brett and if Brett was in love with him, that’d put them in a very sticky situation, but he’s not.

Yet it still hurts Aleks more than he thought.

“Yeah, uh, I wouldn’t think you would,” Aleks forces a chuckle.

“Yeah, no, I didn’t get that impression from anything you said last night at all.” Brett pulls away from Aleks and shakes his head. “Just sex talk, bro. I get it.”

“... yup.” Aleks nods. “Sex talk. It’s just, been a long week-”

“Totally.”

“- and I was like, really going through it and we were real close-”

“You don’t gotta explain yourself to me, Aleks.”

Okay, Aleks knows that, so why does he still feel the need to explain himself anyways? When he says this all out loud, the reasoning for why he said what he said, it doesn’t sound as right as it did in his head. It sounds kind of weird, actually, like it shouldn’t be coming out of his mouth, like he should’ve just left it unspoken.

Either way, Brett knew how he felt… he says he did anyways. Aleks has no reason not to believe him.

Aleks looks over to the clock, his eyes brightening some when he sees that they actually have some free time before breakfast and work. They usually wake up right on time for breakfast, and then they’ll debate getting breakfast or skipping it to cuddle, but it seems like they can have their cake _ and _ eat it too this morning!

He looks back to Brett with raised eyebrows that show his hopefulness.. “Hey, wanna cuddle a bit?” he asks.

“I’m feeling real hungry this morning,” Brett yawns and stretches his arms out above his head. “I kinda just wanna make breakfast then head straight to work.” He shrugs and comes over to the bed, outstretching a hand. “C’mon, I’ll make us both breakfast.”

Oh. Okay. No cuddles. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time Brett didn’t cuddle with him in the morning because of work and obligations, and Aleks has never been disappointed then, so why is he so disappointed now?

_ Are we fine? _

Aleks looks to Brett’s hand, his fingers slightly splayed out as an invitation for Aleks to slip his own fingers through the empty spaces. It gives Aleks some peace of mind, that he’s only thinking too hard about last night and Brett really _ is _ just incredibly hungry this morning.

He reaches out his hand to take Brett’s, intertwining their fingers like they have many times before, and Aleks gives a small smile in relief when Brett gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

_ Yeah. We’re just fine. _

* * *

**November 17th, 2017**

_ “You’re everything to me, daddy!” Aleks cries out. “I love you so _ ** _ much,_ ** _ daddy! D-Don’t, d-don’t stop! Please! Please!!” _

_ Brett’s breathing is becoming heavier the closer he gets to reaching his climax, and Aleks’ constant declarations of love for Brett certainly isn’t helping the case. “Gotta stop ‘cause I’m getting close,” he tells him on a breathless edge. “But we’re never going to stop, baby, no.” He shakes his head. “Daddy loves you way too much for that.” _

_ “You promise?” _

_ “Don’t gotta promise. I’m sure about that.” _

_ “Fuck, I’m glad you’re mine.” Aleks brings his hands to Brett’s head. “So fucking glad you’re mine, I love that you’re mine and _ ** _I love you.”_ **

_ Brett smiles and brings up his hands to Aleks’ face. “I love that you’re mine too. And I love you too.” _

But just like that, it was all taken away.

Every good thing about that night, from the utterances of love and the desperate motions to get as much of the other as they can, was sucked back in and sealed away.

Brett doesn’t know why he’s surprised. This all is coming from the guy who likes to meme the pain away, who likes to push away all of that hard shit by joking about it and forgetting it exists until months after the fact.

He just didn’t think Aleks would do that to _ him. _

And it’s not that he doesn’t think Aleks loves him the same way. Brett does, and that night helps to confirm that, but if Aleks is just going to take it back and act like it doesn’t mean anything, then it shows he’s not confident about it, that he’s not confident about _ them. _

It makes Brett worry that Aleks could be having second thoughts, and it tears his heart, considering he’s so ready to give Aleks his all.

Today is one of those days where Brett is wallowing in self pity, and he can do that at the office considering Aleks isn’t there. Brett wants to keep it together in front of Aleks, let Aleks think that everything is fine because he hates for Aleks to worry. Brett’s been trying his hardest not to let his emotions paint their interactions, but he wonders if maybe Aleks can tell in the split seconds Brett’s guard breaks.

It’s not something Brett has to concern himself with right now. They’re not really filming anything either, so he can seclude himself in his office and not force everybody to deal with him and his own life conflicts.

Until James is knocking at his door and waving through the windows with a big smile on his face, like he’s not going to fucking leave in a few months.

Brett thins his lips together and looks to the door as James comes in, looking less than chipper than he did a few seconds ago.

“Hey, uh, Lindsey wants you to come out and look and see what the decorations look like.”

“Awww, _ man,” _ Brett groans and throws his headphones down to the desk. “It’s too early.”

It’s bad enough Brett has to deal with the love of his life taking back shit like saying_ I love you, _ now he’s being forced to look at the commercialization of Christmas right in the face? It makes his mood so much worse.

He sort of stomps through the warehouse with a pout on his face, Asher’s dumbass filming him the whole time and you fucking know something, that dude is like a god damn_ raccoon _ ! Brett saw his fucking box of Twinkies just lying on the fucking counter yesterday, all empty and shit, and Brett knows it was fucking Asher’s because Asher’s stupid name was on it, that _ imbecile. _

Life would be better if Asher wasn’t at Cow Chop. Brett wonders if he can ask Santa to make that a reality in 2018, that is if Santa doesn’t grant his request to make Aleks suddenly realize falling in love with him isn’t the worst thing ever.

But it definitely won’t happen by 2017 end. So that’s the wish he’s gotta make.

Unfortunately, when he’s led to sit on the couch that Santa Claus himself threw up, Brett is forced into a moment of happiness. The lights are set up pretty, the garland is draped perfectly over the shelves, small Christmas trees on either side, and… the couch doesn’t look all that comfortable, but it’s as good looking as everything else that’s been decorated.

Brett considers the holidays to be soul crushing, and last morning was evidence of that, but with how happy Lindsey and Anna seem with their work, Brett has to give them some recognition.

It’s not enthusiastic, but Brett thinks he deserves some slack today.

“It’s beautiful. Maximum flair.” Brett stands up from the couch and pulls down the hem of his_ “everything hurts and I’m dying”_ sweatshirt, very appropriate for his mood today. “Good job, everybody. Congratulations, you saved Christmas.”

_ When is somebody gonna save mine? _

Everybody claps for their hard work, but James and Lindsey are giving each other squinted eyes before they look back to watch Brett trek towards his office. James nudges Lindsey’s shoulder and nods his head back, and Lindsey nods in return before she goes to follow Brett.

As Brett sits down in his chair, ready to work another hopeless day, Lindsey is stepping in with a cautious smile.

“What do you waaaaant?” Brett whines and crosses his arms on top the desk. “I’m busy!”

“You’re very obviously in a mood,” Lindsey points out. “You've been on edge all day. Wanna talk about it?”

“I’d rather forget it,” Brett mumbles. “That seems to be what everybody else does to fucking forget their problems, so why shouldn’t I?”

“I mean, forgetting your problems kind of work… for awhile.” Lindsey shrugs and looks down to the floor so she can tiptoe through everything successfully. “But then they come back worse than ever. So I’d talk about them with somebody. Like me, your bestie.”

Brett scoffs. “I don’t really have the problem. It’s other people.”

Lindsey sighs heavily. "Okay. What did Asher do?”

“Everything” Brett sighs. “But it’s not about Asher.”

“Is it about James?”

“He’s stressing me out, yeah, but it's not him either. How are you dealing with that, by the way?”

Lindsey bites at her lip. “He’ll still be in LA. We’ll still be together. It’s not about me, it’s about you… and Aleks?”

Brett huffs and looks over to Lindsey before he looks back to his monitors. “I got work to do-”

“Didn’t you guys just start dating-”

“Yup, but that’s all it is, nothing more.” Brett types away some line for his email. “Nothing less though, so I guess I should be kind of thankful for that.”

They could just be fucking around with no sort of label attached to it. They could just be friends that were dancing around each other because they were so scared of rejection. Where they’re at right now is a big step up, and yeah, that’s nice and all but god, they were so close a couple of nights ago to finally making this official.

All Brett wants is to be able to call Aleks his boyfriend and brag about it to everyone.

“So… what happened?” Lindsey prods.

“Nothing.”

“Brett…”

“Nothing,” Brett affirms, because it’s not like it’s not the truth.

The fact that nothing happened_ is _ the problem.

With a sigh, Lindsey rolls her eyes and makes her way back to the doors. “Well, my desk is always open. You know that.”

“Yup.” Brett throws the peace sign her way. “Good work again on the Christmas shit. Keep at it.”

Lindsey gives Brett one last knowing look, and then a head shake at her best friend’s stubbornness before she leaves him alone in his office.

Thank god for that. Brett wouldn’t mind some actual alone time right now.

* * *

Brett shuts down his computers and hoists his bag over his shoulder, prepared to leave the office and go back home to Aleks, because even though Aleks is getting cold feet, Brett still loves him like crazy.

He hates being in love. What a joke.

Immediately after exiting the doors of his office, he steps on what appears to be an empty box of PopTarts, and his PTSD gives him flashbacks to Asher’s empty box of Twinkies.

Sometimes, when Brett least expects it, a strange feeling of elation washes over him. His face gets very warm, his heart beats very fast, and then it slows. The world pulsates, angels sing, and everything bathes in an ethereal glow. The first time he felt that way was when he and Aleks first kissed for that CCTV.

That was a good day.

The second time he felt this was the night Aleks gave himself to him for the very first time.

That was an _ amazing _ day.

When he looks at Asher, he doesn’t get that feeling. He doesn’t feel anything besides disgust and overwhelming contempt.

It didn't always use to be like this with Asher.

There was a point when Brett was actively vying for Asher to do more, but every opportunity he gives Asher, Asher just… does nothing. After awhile of trying your best for someone, to try and understand them to the best of your ability, you have to accept that it's a lost cause.

He's sure Asher means well, but fuck, does that kid need to grow up.

Brett’s vision turns red, sirens blare in his head, and his body heats up like the flames in hell. He finds something to get mad at Asher about every day, but on a day like this, Asher really picked the wrong day to fuck around.

His face hardens as he drops to the ground to roughly pick up the box. He storms on over to Asher’s desk, where Asher is idly clicking around on what Brett _ hopes _ is a video, before Brett slams the box right down beside him.

“What the _ fuck _ is your problem, dude?”

Asher furrows his eyebrows and sets down his headphones, a hand going up to rub at his eyes. “Sorry, what was that? My headphones-”

“You’re like a fucking raccoon, scurrying through this goddamn office and leaving a mess! I fucking got on you for the Twinkies, but you’re not even gonna fucking listen? But why should I be so surprised, you _ never _listen-”

“Dude, what the fuck?” Asher sits up straight. “That’s not my box.”

At this point, Jakob is scurrying out of the office to leave Brett and Asher fully alone.

Just not in the sexy way, because Brett would rather die than even think about placing his lips on Asher’s.

“So who’s was it then?” Brett crosses his arms over his chest. “Your evil twin? Basher?”

He hates that his next thought immediately after is that_ Basher _could be a ship name for him and Asher. It’s all Aleks’ fault.

“Look, I at least admit if I did something wrong,” Asher tells him. “I admitted to the Twinkies ‘cause that was on me. These PopTarts aren’t. Why are you getting so upset-”

“Your lack of professionalism and work ethic is just so fucking baffling to me,” Brett laughs bitterly. “I gave you a bit of a pass in the beginning, but you’ve been here a good awhile now and that should’ve changed. You should be miles ahead, but you’re still doing dumb stuff like that and… just are you going to be more _ professional _and-"

Asher chuckles lowly and pushes himself away from the desk by his hands to stand up. “Okay.” He nods. “You tell_ me _ to be professional, but you and Aleks have been fucking each other for god knows how long? What’s that called? Throwing rocks through glass homes?”

This time when Brett laughs, it’s full of humor. It’s big and bright, and it makes Brett’s eyes glimmer with mirth, because today's the day he gets to actually lay it all out on Asher with good reason, because believe it or not, he's been holding back before. Brett _ does _ have a filter - it’s just meaningless most of the time when he’s shameless in what he does. He claps his hands together and looks down to Asher, so ready to put him in his place for something he knows nothing about, even though it’s obvious what he and Aleks are at this point.

“You have a lot of fucking balls to accuse me and Aleks-”

“Aleks told me himself.”

Brett blinks a few times. “What?”

Though it seems like Asher is smart enough to realize he hit a touchy subject. He backs down a little, and even sits back down in his chair with a small glint of remorse. “We were uh, we were getting drunk one night, me, him, and Trevor. Trevor left to get food, so me and Aleks were talking, and he kind of just told me.”

What Brett is getting from this is that Aleks told Asher they were fucking.

Which is fine on its own, he supposes.

But Aleks can tell Asher certain things, and he can’t tell _ Brett _ certain things?! Is Brett really on the same level as _ Asher!? _ Is that what Aleks thinks of him behind closed doors? Is that what he says of Brett when Brett isn’t around?

Oh no, what else does he say about Brett when he’s not around? What if he makes fun of the thing Brett does with pounding his fists together? What if he shows off Brett’s texts to his friends to expose some side of him that they all should see?!

It leaves a lot of things running through Brett’s mind, not one of them being positive.

“I kinda knew from the beginning,” Asher starts, “and I was already thinking it. I don’t give a fuck, whatever makes you two happy, but it’s just funny for you to come at me for that when you and him are, you know, doing _ that.” _

Brett clenches his jaw and looks the other way. He hates the dilemma he’s in, that Asher knows more about Aleks than him, but a lot of things haven’t been going Brett’s way this week so he really should prepare himself to deal with the whole world conspiring against him. With a huff, he looks over to Asher and asks, “what else did he tell you?”

“That you guys are dating,” Asher answers. “And…” He bites at his lip hard there, as if mulling over everything else before he just shrugs. “Uh, yeah, that’s it. You guys recently started dating, right?”

“Yeah,” Brett affirms. “But it’s none of your business. No one’s, actually.”

Asher blinks and looks back and forth. “I was just curious-”

“Go home, dude.”

Asher’s mouth open and closes like a fish for a few moments before he just rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air.

Brett turns around so he can go home too, but a few paces in, he’s thinking more about the situation again, of Aleks and Asher drunk together and talking about _ him and Aleks, _ and his anxiety addled mind gets the best of him.

With a slight frown, he looks back to Asher. “Hey uh… Asher?” Brett asks with a bit of concern, his voice sounding so small.

Asher looks up as he’s powering down his machines. He knows better than to say anything else to Brett tonight, so he just raises his eyebrows.

Brett rolls his lips back, his hands rubbing up and down his own arms. “Um. When Aleks was talking about me that night. Uh… how did it sound?” He furrows his eyebrows together. “Like. Was it happy? Was he brushing it off?”

For the first time in Brett’s life, Asher's smile makes him smile too - but just a little one.

“It was real obvious he liked you,” Asher tells him. “I say liked, but I mean. Yeah, he totally likes you. It was all good stuff.”

Brett sighs with relief. “Thanks,” he says quietly. “Appreciate it.” He holds a hand to his heart, unconsciously, and then he gives Asher a prompt nod before he turns to leave the office and head back home to the complicated man of the hour.

He still has anxiety that Aleks is having second thoughts, that maybe Aleks doesn’t want the actual commitment, but at least Aleks is saying only nice things about Brett when he isn’t around. There’s not some secret plan Aleks is concocting to get rid of Brett and slip out of this relationship.

Brett _ does _see the importance in the little victories.

* * *

Nothing has changed between Aleks and Brett since that night. Nothing _ should _ have changed, because it was just an incredibly passionate, heated love making session. It’s only been a day since it happened, so if anything did change, it’d be too soon to tell.

Everything seems the same,_ seems _being the keyword.

Aleks still wonders why it feels different between them now.

Their interactions don’t feel forced. They’re still genuine, but there’s the slightest hint of tension that laces their actions and Aleks can’t figure out what exactly is the source of that tension.

It’s not a sexual tension. In fact, there’s not much sexual tension between him and Brett anymore, because sex is just so normal with them now, just like breathing. He and Brett have fallen into normalcy with each other, and it’s no longer this big, exciting thing to see the other enter the same room they’re in, or to kiss the other.

It’s just simply the norm to have the other around. When Brett is near Aleks, he feels more calm and at one with himself. Every touch they share, every word they speak to each other, it’s a notion that reinforces the daily rhythms of life that they share with one another.

So Aleks isn’t going to let a little _ different _stop him from changing how he interacts with Brett at all.

Okay, maybe a little. He just wants to make it clear to Brett how appreciated he is!

(But he’s not in love or anything. That’d be weird.)

Their bed hasn’t been made, so Aleks took the liberty to make it look presentable again, along with the rest of their bedroom. Their clothes have been folded and put back into the closet and dresser alike, any knick-knacks scattered about placed right back where they belong. As Aleks places one of them back on the cabinet where the TV resides, he accidentally bumps off the snowglobe and he instantly reaches down to pick it back up.

When Aleks takes it into his hands, he gives it a small shake to see the snow stir around before it falls to the ground and over the charcoal that comes together to form a heart in front of the smiling snowmen holding hands.

It was such a cheap, simple thing when he and Brett bought it at the supermarket, but Aleks thinks it’s priceless now. It brings him back to where it all started, and reminds him of what he and Brett have to look forward to in the later month.

That was another thing Aleks had done today, along with bleaching his hair and giving their home a cursory tidy up. He had went ahead and finally confirmed their reservations at the ski resort - check in December 23rd, check out January 2nd. It allows him and Brett to spend Christmas and New Year’s together in a romantic week with each other before they gotta come back and resume the responsibilities of life.

Aleks wonders if anything big will happen that week between them.

What he doesn’t know is that it’ll happen right before that week.

Aleks smiles as he sets the globe back beside the TV and then he grabs the collar of Brett’s hoodie to breathe in that all familiar scent of cinnamon and vanilla. It’s comforting, and when Brett is gone, it gives him a piece of Brett that will follow him until Brett gets back. He really can’t wait for Brett to come home to a clean house, along with fresh, hot pizza waiting on the counter.

He can get used to this, taking care of Brett the way Brett takes care of him. Brett deserves it.

He walks out of their room and upon descending the stairs, he sees Mishka excitedly wagging her tail. Her tongue is sticking out too, she’s panting, and Aleks knows it means two things - either she needs a walk, or she needs food.

Aleks squints his eyes together. “Food?” he asks.

Mishka is immediately racing to her bowl.

Crisis averted.

With a chuckle, Aleks comes over to the kitchen to fill her bowl, and he decides to fill Celia’s while he’s at it when he notices it’s low. He plops a seat beside Mishka to watch her eat, his hand stroking through the soft fur of her back as he does so.

Aleks feels like his life is slowly coming together. He’s living with somebody who very well has the potential to be the love of his life, he has two adorable pets, and their channel is… uh, their channel is about to hit a rough spot, but Aleks has this hunch that it’s going to work out in the end.

Whether it does or not, Aleks has Brett. They can get through anything together.

His head perks up and his eyes widen when he hears the sound of keys twisting in the doorknob, and Aleks is smiling brightly as he suddenly stands up on his feet to race over to the door.

“I’m baaaaack,” Brett announces in a bored tone. “Best day ever-”

“I missed you!”

Aleks suddenly throws his arms around Brett’s neck and holds onto him tightly so he can press a big, wet kiss to his cheek, and then he’s nuzzling his face into his neck.

It takes a bit for Brett to return the hug. His eyes are sort of just shifting back and forth until he looks ahead with a cautious smile before he pulls Aleks in, arms around his waist, to kiss the side of his head. “Yeah, you know what, I missed you too,” he rumbles against Aleks’ ear.

“You guys do anything today?”

“Everybody else decorated the set and forced the commercialization of Christmas on me, but I guess it was nice. Be careful when you sit down so you don’t get Christmas lights up your ass.”

“If I can handle you in me, I can handle a few Christmas lights.”

Brett chuckles and slowly pulls away from Aleks, though he keeps his hands on Aleks’ waist, and Aleks keeps his hands at the side of Brett’s face for his fingers to scratch through Brett’s beard. “Alright, I guess you got a… point. Hey.” He narrows his eyes and looks past Aleks. “You clean up the place?”

Aleks nods and takes his hands off, but one of those hands moves down for his fingers to intertwine with Brett’s. “Yeah, I kinda cleaned everywhere. Our bedroom too, everything’s all back where it should be, the bed’s made, pets have been fed, blah blah blah-”

“Did you make dinner?”

“I mean, I ordered dinner, but I’ll say I made it if it makes you happier.”

Aleks takes Brett through the home to the kitchen, also newly cleaned, so he can look at the pizza sitting atop the counter - arrived just about 5 minutes before Brett came in.

“Wow, you uh,” Brett chuckles and lets go of Aleks’ hand, “went all out, did you?”

“I had some time.” Aleks watches Brett get a slice for himself, and he smiles when Brett gets a slice for him too. A small gesture, that Aleks could do himself, but appreciated nonetheless. “Made our reservations too, for the ski resort next month?”

“Ohhh.” Brett nods. “So that’s still happening?”

“Yeah,” Aleks chuckles and takes his plate, the other hand lifting the slice to his mouth to take a bite. “Why wouldn’t it?”

“No, I’m just - nope, I’m just making sure. It’s like, pretty big for us. Going away for a week on an expensive romantic getaway to Colorado. The closer it comes, the more you uh, remember that. That it’s not just something friends do?”

“Well, we’re not just friends. We’re dating.”

“Ha. Right. Dating.”

Aleks lowers the pizza back down to his plate and gives Brett a once over before he makes his way to the living room. “Something happen today?” he says around his mouthful. “You’re being kind of weird.”

Brett sighs and follows after. “No, nothing happened.”

“You know how when I was being weird, you picked up on it immediately? You know I can do the same with you, right?”

A displeased noise rises from Brett’s throat and after taking a seat right on the couch, his whole being sinking into the cushions much like his hope, he lays his head back to look up at the ceiling. He doesn’t say a word though, just keeps staring at the ceiling like if he does it for long enough then Aleks will stop prying.

That’s just not going to happen.

“You know,” Aleks takes another bite as he sits opposite of Brett, “I won’t fuck you if you’re just gonna hide shit.”

“Yeah, you won’t do a lot of things,” Brett mumbles.

“Uh, excuse me?” Aleks blinks back to him. “What does that mean?”

Brett shakes his head. “I’m kidding. Nothing, it’s-” He tosses his plate onto the table before he crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s just Asher, he’s making a big mess wherever he goes and doesn’t listen. I’m tired of it.”

Oh! Asher! Of course! Asher is _ always _the likely source for Brett’s weird moods.

… but Aleks was at the office yesterday and Asher didn’t do anything in particular to get on Brett’s nerves. Aleks would know about it the moment it happened, so it can explain his weirdness today but what about the morning after they made love?

How can that be explained?

“So what big mess did he make today?”

“Left an empty box of PopTarts on the floor,” Brett scoffs. “Says it wasn’t his. I guess it wasn’t, but he’s still a raccoon.”

Aleks giggles and scoots himself closer. “Raccoon is a new one.” He raises his eyebrows and nudges Brett’s leg with his knee. “Anything else happen with him you wanna talk about?”

Brett’s tongue pokes out to lick along his lips. He slowly blinks and averts his gaze, his hands dropping to run up and down his own thighs for a few moments before he looks back to his plate. “Uh, n-no.” He shrugs and shakes his head as he reaches for his plate to grab his slice. “But, you know, one interaction with him and the whole day is ruined,” Brett chuckles.

“Don’t gotta explain it to me,” Aleks assures. “But one day? I think you two are gonna become close whether you want it to or not.”

Brett chuckles again on a wavering edge as he takes a big bite out of his slice. “Yeah, okay. We’ll uh, see about that.”

What’s that saying? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? Sure, their personalities don’t mix well at all, but they gotta bond over _ something. _ They have to put their differences aside at one point just to be nice to each other for the greater good.

Or maybe they won’t. There’s a lot of things Aleks holds hope for, like his relationship with Brett, but Brett and Asher is doomed for failure.

He’s just glad that he and Brett are destined for greatness, even if they’re about to hit a complicated road in their shared lives.


	37. We Are The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting more tense between Brett and Aleks as they head back to their families for Thanksgiving. How long until they act like everything is normal, like everything is fine?

**November 20th, 2017**

They filmed today’s CCTV at Khail’s house.

Khail and Brett go all the way back to Brett’s Machinima days, though Khail was able to sort of make a name for himself on his own. It’s always been easy for Khail to get work in LA, considering his attitude that runs on the power of positivity. There’s not really a bad thing to say about Khail, so of course, he and Brett have been good friends for all this time.

Khail and Aleks are sort of on the same level, but Khail was Brett’s friend’s first, and that’s always going to make them just that extra tiny bit closer.

Not like that.

Out of all the men Brett has found himself wanting to do stuff with since realizing his attraction to men, he has no desire to do any of that with Khail - though his handsomeness is objective fact.

“So I have an idea for this stream of mine,” Khail says. “I put you and Aleks on there, and then I use that eye tracker stuff and you two gotta try your best  _ not _ to stare at each other.”

Brett snorts and squints his eyes at his friend. “And what purpose does this serve, exactly?”

“Nooo,” Khail sighs. “I mean, I’d put like. A slideshow, right? Of two different things, and the eye tracker would track which thing your eye is immediately drawn to. It’s this new thing I found messing with Windows the other day, I think it’d be fun.”

“Ohhh,” Brett dawns in realization. “You want to pit our love for each other against different things and see how it fares.”

“Love’s such a big word, isn’t it?” Khail smiles and crosses his arms over his kitchen counter. “You love him?”

“When did I say that?”

“It’s implied, through your word usage and the general context in which you guys have interacted since you two made this thing with each other.”

They never really did tell Khail in exact terms what they were doing before, because Khail had figured it out before they could do so. In hindsight, he and Aleks aren’t exactly the most subtle people in the world.

Ha, isn’t that funny? How things that seemed like such a mystery at the time are so obvious now? Brett was so worried before about whether Aleks harbored the same feelings, if Aleks wanted the same things, and yet when he looks back through the lens of their friendship, all the signs were there - they were out in the open, and he just chose to ignore them for fear.

Now, Aleks is the one being fearful.

Now, Aleks is ignoring that one thing that can fully break apart the chains that keep them from soaring high, high, high into the outer worlds.

It’s frustrating. It’s discouraging. But Brett’s in love with Aleks, and so he has to keep trudging on.

“Don’t love him,” Brett mumbles and looks back to the bathrooms when he hears the door opening. “Even if I did, he wouldn’t love me.”

Khail rolls his eyes. “You’re so dramatic, Brett,” he says quietly. “I think if you do, you should just tell him.”

“And ruin everything?”

“It didn’t ruin everything the first time.”

Brett looks back to Khail with a pointed look, knowing he’s right but not wanting to admit it.

Besides, he could be right about that. And he can also be wrong that it  _ doesn’t  _ ruin everything again. It’s not this easily connected phenomena.

“Hey,” Aleks greets quietly as he wraps an arm around Brett’s shoulder from behind. “I’m ready to head out of here now.”

Brett’s arm stays frozen for a moment before he works in making it move to wrap around Aleks’ waist. “Then I guess we should pack up shop.”

“I’ll meet y’all out there,” James announces as he stands up from the couch in the living room. “It’s my turn to drop one now.”

Khail whines, “at least turn on the fan when you’re done, okay?”

Brett chuckles and nods his head at James as he begins to lead him and Aleks over to the door. “Kay, we’ll be outside.”

And outside they go.

It’s always nice when he and Aleks are alone, no matter what state their relationship is in or whatever inner turmoil is going on in their head. There’s a foreboding peace that comes with having their bodies so close together with no other presence around, no other entities to mix with their own and ruin the natural bond they’ve curated with one another.

No matter what happens, Brett knows that to be true. He knows Aleks knows it too, though Aleks probably won’t admit to it.

_ Sigh. _

“Thanksgiving is this Thursday,” Aleks mentions as he unwraps his arm from Brett’s shoulder. “You said you’re leaving Wednesday to visit your family, right?”

“Mmhm.” Brett unwraps his arm from Aleks’ waist, but lets his hand hang there in the small space of air between them - an invitation. “Aren’t you?”

Aleks immediately takes Brett’s hand with his own. “Yeah.”

Brett smiles and gives Aleks’ hand a squeeze. He likes that this is second nature to them, just like breathing.

“I’m excited,” Aleks chuckles. “I really wanna tell them about you.”

And what would he tell them, exactly? That he’s exclusively dating some older guy but hasn’t put a label on it? That he loves him and he said it but took it back because he’s not feeling confident about it? What exactly is he going to tell them about Brett, if he can’t tell Brett what that really is?

It sounds like something they should have a civilized discussion about, but now doesn’t seem like the time. They’re like, working.

Instead, Brett plays it safe.

“Have you ever told them about a boyfriend before?” Brett asks.

Aleks hums and his lips purse side to side as he muses over it before he says, “nah, but my family knows I’m into guys.”

“Do they know you’re into  _ older _ guys though?”

Aleks laughs a little as his eyes slowly look over into Brett’s. “I mean, my dad kinda messaged me about the Geoff thing so I’m pretty sure they have a clue.”

“Buuut you didn’t ever talk about boyfriends before?”

“Remember? Me and Geoff went sort of, kind of viral, a little bit?”

Oh, right. That was a thing that happened all those months ago, wasn’t it? It’s so weird how much time has flown by with them. Feels like yesterday that the pic of him and Geoff together on the pier went all over Tumblr and instagram, that people saw Aleks as exclusively Geoff’s boyfriend and not as himself, on his own as the amazing and extraordinary individual that he is.

Aleks and Geoff are a memory now. Geoff was turned into a building block for Aleks’ foundation, as well as Brett’s, because that relationship definitely did a little something in building his and Aleks’. They’d still be together without Geoff’s intervention, but it wouldn’t be exactly like this.

What if they’d officially be boyfriends at this point if Aleks never dated Geoff?

What if Aleks could admit to Brett that he does love him like that if he never dated Geoff?

Both are questions that Brett will never know the answers too, and he hates not having the answers.

“What about us?” Brett asks as he walks with Aleks down the stairs. “Would you say we’re kind of viral, in a way?”

“The gay shit we do,” Aleks answers. “Not particularly us, but… I dunno, now that we’re like, really a thing, I don’t wanna play that shit up on camera.” He shrugs and looks to Brett. “It was fun before when it was kind of messing around, but now it’s real and I don’t wanna make it seem like a joke, you know what I mean?”

Brett sidles up closer to Aleks and steals a kiss to his cheek. Aleks deserves one for this.

“I know what you mean,” he murmurs against his cheek before he pulls away to send Aleks a small smile. “Before, it was like, a way for us to get away with being close without the commitment. We could laugh it off as a joke if anyone asked, but now, we are a thing, and we don’t gotta laugh it off. We can just  _ be.” _

“Yeah,” Aleks says softly with a smile. “You get it.”

Navigating the online world of content creation when you’re dating your fellow content creator can get tricky. You want to show the viewers and fans a slice of your life so they can get to know you better, but not so much that they feel like they know you in a super personal way. You reveal anything that’s _ actually _ personal, and that can be used against you in a way you never would have imagined.

Brett’s glad that Aleks sees the grandeur beauty of it, and how that beauty deserves more than just comedy sketches for the videos they do. It should be made apparent, but not a spectacle of, because their relationship isn’t a bit or a spectacle - it’s a real thing, not a content farm.

“So when are you coming back?” Brett lets go of Aleks’ hand so he can make his way to the passenger door of the car. “26th, right? That’s when I come back.”

“Yes, sir.”

Brett raises his eyebrows with a nod. “Sir is different,” he says.

Aleks grins and crosses his arms over his chest as he comes over to Brett. “Yes, _ daddy. _ Is that better?”

You know what? Being called daddy does make most things better. He’s Aleks’ one and only daddy and that’s a pretty high honor, not up there with Aleks loving him like that, but it’s close.

Brett grins back with a nod. “A lot better. You gonna miss your daddy while you’re gone?”

Aleks shrugs and grabs onto the collar of Brett’s sweatshirt with his hands. “Depends. You gonna miss your  _ angel _ while you’re gone?”

Brett huffs through his nose and his gaze dips to Aleks’ lips as he murmurs, “I got no problem admitting to that.”

_ Unlike some people. _

It’s hard not to be passive aggressive about it. It means such a big thing to Brett, but he knows that kind of behavior is unhealthy and it’ll only frustrate Aleks, who seems to be… very, very tactile with Brett lately.

Aleks has been tactile and affectionate with him all over. He’s been saying things that indicate this understanding for more, and yet he takes back that one fucking thing that cements them as more.

Brett had no idea that navigating a relationship with his best friend could be so damn difficult, but he wants it to be worth it. He knows it’ll be worth it, but man, it really blows right now when he remembers that one thing.

That one.

Fucking

Thing.

* * *

**November 22nd, 2017**

Aleks presses himself to Brett’s side with a little whine right into his ear. “Daaaaaddy, wake up~”

Brett makes a low noise and stirs.

“Daaaddy.” Aleks presses a hand right on his chest, his fingers splaying out over that bushel of chest hair. “Wake up so I can play with you.”

Brett lids his eyes open and with a yawn, he runs his hand back through his hair. “Mmm, what are you looking to play with?”

Aleks smiles and moves himself to straddle Brett’s leg before he slowly pushes himself down Brett’s body. “Well, I’d really like to play with  _ this .” _ And to pontificate his point, he presses his hand on Brett’s soft cock through the crotch of his briefs to gently palm at him.

Brett hums, his eyes close, and he leans his head back more into the pillow. “Well if you wanna play with it,” he sighs, “I’d like for you to use your mouth, baby.”

That was the intended path for this early morning anyways. Handjobs can be fun, and Aleks thinks that it’s a totally underrated part of sex, but he needs something more filling and his mouth is perfect for the job.

Well, his ass would be better, but Brett’s not the one that has to leave for the airport so early in the morning. Aleks wants his fill of Brett, literally, but he doesn’t want Brett to do a thing. All Brett has to do is lie back and let Aleks do all the work. He shouldn’t have to worry about a thing, or even lift a finger, though he can if he’s so inclined.

The more Aleks comes down the covers, the more the covers come down with him. They sort of stay around Aleks’ waist right as he makes his place on Brett’s leg, and his hands grab the sides of Brett’s briefs so he can pull them down just enough for his thick cock to spring up underneath.

His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning when they get that gaming system they’ve been begging their parents for all year. Brett’s cock is all Aleks wants and with a whimper rising from his throat, he leans in to wrap his lips around the soft length. He keeps the side of his head resting on Brett’s stomach and he hums around his length, gently suckling at it and taking a bit of time in tasting it, letting it slowly harden in his mouth.

Being a cockwarmer is fun sometimes. Aleks truly could do it for hours, just letting Brett sit in his mouth or stay sheathed in his ass. Knowing Brett is in him in some way is all Aleks needs, it makes him feel complete, feel loved, god, he feels so, so loved when Brett is inside him.

He has to go without that for a few days, and it’ll be just like the times where Brett has gone away to some foreign country for a convention Aleks couldn’t go to because of his current travel and green card situation.

It’ll still suck hardcore, but Aleks has been through it before. He’ll call up Brett, he’ll fuck himself thinking of Brett, and then in days time, they’ll be back in each other’s arms again and promise to never, ever leave each other behind like that again until the next time they inevitably need to fly away for some convention or family thing without each other.

Aleks can handle those annoying nuisances of navigating life if he has Brett. Brett is all he truly needs.

Him and that thick cock of his.

When Brett really starts to harden in his mouth, Aleks pulls away to start sucking at the sides of his shaft. It’s sweet and slow kisses, up and down, each kiss lingering on his skin. He blinks up to Brett and through the darkness of the room, the lights seeping from the blinds being the only source, he can just see Brett staring at him with a smile cracking his lips.

It makes Aleks smile around him in turn.

“There’s my angel,” Brett whispers as he brings a hand down to card through Aleks’ hair. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you behind.”

“Me too.” Aleks sticks out his tongue to swirl it around his cock, and then he brings it up to slick the entire shaft before kissing the head of it. “But it’s only a few days. And then, we can come back home,” he tilts his head the other way, “and go right back to loving on each other.” One more kiss to the head before he’s slowly taking him in, with very gentle bobs of the head - enjoying their time together before they leave is the point, not the actual pleasure itself.

“And I love my daddy,” Aleks murmurs. “I love making him feel good.”

Brett knows he doesn’t mean anything by it, so it’s fine to say. He won’t listen to it and assume that Aleks means he’s in love, because he’s not - although his feelings for Brett after that night have definitely shifted into… something. It seems like Brett’s feelings have shifted also. That hasn’t changed since the first time Aleks noted its appearance, but although it was a bit exciting before, a few days later now that Aleks thinks about it, and it leaves him a bit nervous.

Yet he doesn’t know what exactly about it is making him nervous.

Shouldn’t things between him and Brett be  _ more _ certain now that they’re dating?

Brett bites down hard on his bottom lip and tightens his hold on Aleks’ hair to pull him off entirely.

Aleks begins to whine, “hey!” but Brett cuts him off before Aleks can tell him to put him back down there.

“Don’t tell me you love me,” Brett says on a gravelly edge.

Aleks furrows his eyebrows together as he sits up on his knees. “But you know I don’t mean-”

“Yeah.” Brett nods. “I know you don’t mean it like that.” He scoffs. “Trust me. When you say that, you should be saying it because you mean it. Otherwise, it’s just weird.”

“It’s weird? How?” Aleks blinks. “It’s just fuck talk-”

“Aleks,” Brett starts firmly, “it could complicate things-”

“Well you said it back to me that one night,” Aleks mentions. “You understood it meant nothing.”

“Aleks, dude, why are you so insistent on saying it?”

Aleks swallows heavily and holds his arms to himself, feeling like he just got viciously yelled at by his father even though the way Brett told him off was more firm and quiet.

Because that’s kind of how it starts with Brett when he’s legitimately mad about something.

He’ll be quiet at first, like he’s trying to keep it together. He’s trying to be calm and go about it rationally, and then there'll be a brief window of time that involves flashes of way too personal outbursts, and not caring who is on the receiving end. Aleks has seen it happen a few times (most with Asher), and he’s glad it hasn’t happened to him, but he hopes it doesn’t. That’s a Brett he doesn’t wanna piss off.

It’s not a rage that hurts anybody. It’s just. A lot of yelling and pent up behavior, behavior that was spilling out in passive aggressive comments, finally flooding out of the gates in aggressive aggressive lashes and scoldings.

It’s a flaw of his, one of his worst, though it rarely happens. Brett is always pretty shameful about it too.

Still. Aleks doesn’t want that to happen to him. That whole argument about Geoff he had with Brett was enough of a peek Aleks needed of that to tell him he didn’t want to see anything more.

Aleks makes a note to not ever say  _ I love you  _ during sex to Brett unless he means it…

… that suddenly seems much easier said than done. So why does he have such a strong urge to tell Brett that he loves him?

“I-I’m not,” he says incredibly quiet, and almost uncertain. “I-I just wanted to know where your head was at with it…” He presses his lips together and suddenly looks the other way, his tongue poking around the inside of his cheek. “You know, I was going to give you a little something before you and I went away but if you just wanna be a dick-”

“I’m sorry,” Brett sighs and runs his hands back through his hair as he sits himself against the headboard. “I’m just tired, bro.”

Oh no.

He’s saying he’s _ just tired. _

He’s using the oldest excuse in the book, and that’s very not like Brett. Brett can usually come up with something better but that just means he doesn’t even care to try to hide his disdain and that… kind of stings. Honestly, Aleks would rather take Brett being snippy because that’s more real.

“You’re awake enough for a blowjob, at least,” Aleks mumbles.

“Uh?” Brett widens his eyes at Aleks. “A blowjob  _ you  _ offered?”

“Don’t tell me you’re tired then,” Aleks elaborates as he looks over to Brett with a pointed look. “I’m smarter than that. It’s insulting.”

Brett slumps on the bed and rolls his eyes to look at the ceiling for a few moments in introspection before his shoulders relax. “Fine, you’re right,” he concedes. “Look, I didn’t mean to say it like that, it’s just. That’s a sore subject, dude.”

“Love?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Brett looks down to Aleks. “It is for you too, it seems.”

“What?!” Aleks laughs in bewilderment and climbs off Brett’s leg to plop on his side next to him. “What makes you say that?”

Brett scoffs. “So it’s easy for you then?”

“You know how much of a hopeless romantic I am.”

“So you don’t think being a hopeless romantic might… I dunno.” Brett shrugs. “Make it harder for you to commit?”

Aleks frowns and narrows his eyes. “Why would it?”

“Because you put this idea of love on such a high pedestal. You don’t want anything to ruin it. You want it to be this perfect thing without flaws, you want it to be confident and sure, but it’s more complicated than that.”

“You’re not gonna pull up that video of Geoff talking about love, are you?”

“No. But he made a lot of good points.”

_ “Love is fucking complicated. And messy. And hard. But it’s also incredibly intoxicating. And amazing, and worth it. You two might argue and get mad at each other, there’ll be times when you want nothing more than to just slap them upside the head and call them a fucking idiot, but you know that no matter what happens, you can’t live without them. So every fight, every argument, every misunderstanding, it’s all worth it, every single damn second. And when you guys are apart, for weeks, for days, for hours, for minutes, it tears you up inside because you feel so empty without them. You want to spend every second of your day with them, doing whatever, just because it means being graced with their presence. Love completely consumes and changes you. You’ll find yourself doing things you never thought you would before, all for this one person. Don’t be afraid to take risks with love, guys.” _

Aleks remembers all of that. He wasn’t at the panel itself, but he watched the video on it the following day considering it was something people wouldn’t shut up about and you know what? Aleks absolutely wants nothing more than to slap Brett upside the head right now and call him a fucking idiot, because  _ no, _ being a hopeless romantic doesn’t make it harder for him to commit.

But even though Brett is being. Odd. Aleks knows that no matter what happens, he can’t live without him, and vice versa.

Though he could live without this sudden discussion about his supposed commitment issues at 5 in the morning. What the fuck makes Brett think that Aleks has commitment issues anyways?

It’s a question Aleks will ask for a later time.

“Brett?”

“Mmm?”

“You know I’m the one who told you we should start dating in the first place, right?”

“Yeah-”

“And I’m the one that had to convince you to fuck me?”

“Sure, but-”

“I think I commit just fine.” Aleks moves his hand to pat Brett’s cheek. “It’s too fucking early for this anyways.”

“Not too early for you to blow me,” Brett teases.

Aleks glares back at him but when he sees the smile on Brett’s face, he eases up.

He totally thought Brett was trying to be snippy. In Aleks’ defense, he’s uh. Tired.

(Aleks just isn’t going to say that out loud.)

A blush rises to Aleks’ face and he sort of ducks his head as he sits up to wrap the both of his arms around one of Brett’s. He rests his head onto Brett’s shoulder and then nudges Brett’s neck with it.

“Brett? Are we okay?”

“Of course we are, Aleks.”

If the words couldn’t do it, Brett’s bringing over his other hand to the side of Aleks’ head to keep it steady so he can press a big kiss to the top. His eyes close as his fingers card through his fresh blonde strands, and Aleks’ eyes close, a tranquil smile slowly stretching his lips at the motions.

Everything in paradise is fine once more. What kind of couple doesn’t have a somewhat tense conversation once in awhile?

* * *

Thanksgiving isn’t until tomorrow so Brett doesn’t need to be at his house until… tomorrow. He’ll enjoy what alone time he has in his hotel room before he has to relinquish that time to hang out with his Catholic family.

Brett loves them all just fine. They’re his family, so of course he loves them, but it reminds him of how he felt he didn’t fit in with the Colorado scene, and now he’s coming back next month on a romantic ski resort vacation.

Oh, the things he does for his beloved, and the things he  _ doesn’t  _ do for his beloved.

How does he get Aleks to just come out with saying it? Without making him say it? Because Brett can’t say it either, he can show it, and he thinks he’s been doing a good job at showing it, but  _ saying _ it just outright confirms it and a confirmation, a 100% certainty, can mess things up.

It’s always a whole big thing going on with them. Even after conquering one mountain, there’s another even bigger one beyond the range and it’s worth it, every time, but it gets exhausting having to go through it all.

It's especially exhausting when you've been climbing through these mountains for a total of 10 months, but Brett can't take a break. Taking a break means a break from him and Aleks and… it's not gonna get to that point.

Not unless Aleks triggers something painful in his mind.

… like, a repeated pattern of it that would make Brett wonder, even for a moment, if it's even worth it to continue without thinking about harsh changes.

He believes Aleks when he says he doesn’t have commitment issues. He doesn’t, not exactly. He wants to be with Brett, and that’s clear, but not being able to admit he’s in love with him and take that next step is a problem possibly indicative of what Aleks thinks of their future.

Brett could be wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s wrong. But like, being wrong isn’t a thing that typically happens with him.

He’s coming back into his hotel room from an early night of catching up with friends who decided to stay behind in Colorado. A bunch of good guys but they’re a reminder of why he left. Brett’s not too broken up about it, though they do make some good drinking pals.

Brett’s not drinking a whole bar before Thanksgiving though. He’s gotta save up for the food!

It’s when Brett is dressed down to his briefs, his phone and wallet now on the nightstand, does his phone start to alert him of a FaceTime notification.

Even though Aleks is being complicated as all hell, Brett is responding with lightning quick reflexes to accept his video invitation.

“Ooh, hello,” Aleks purrs and looks Brett up and down, as much as he can. “Was I interrupting something?”

Brett chuckles and shakes his head before he runs a hand back through his hair. “Just got back from something, actually.” He sets the phone up against the lamp and then stands with his hands on his hips, his entire body in the frame. “Is this better for you?”

“Do a little spin?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately before he holds out his hands and does just that.

“Ooh, that’s what daddy wants to see.”

Brett snorts, takes a seat on the bed, and reaches for his phone. “Lot more for you to see when we get back together. We’re good at making up for time.”

“It’s kind of our brand.”

“When travelling out of state or out of country is part of the job, yeah, we kind of have to make it such.”

“Mmhm. So, there’s two things.”

“Jumping right into it then.” Brett turns on his side and squints his eyes at the camera. “What’s up?”

“So first thing - I miss you.”

Brett smiles. “Yeah, I miss you too, angel.”

Aleks smiles back, and then his screen freezes. Makes sense, for that to happen in their first call to each other when they’re gone.

“Ah shit, I think my reception here is bad,” Brett groans. “My screen’s frozen-”

“Oh, no,” Aleks chuckles. “I was uh, just looking at you. Kinda got lost looking at you. Doesn’t usually happen during a call though.”

When Brett forgets, it goes right back to normal.

He and Aleks casually fall into their natural camaraderie. They both give compliment after compliment and tease and joke, and it’s just like how it was before, except there’s a romantic touch to it - exactly what a relationship should be.

Because that’s what he and Aleks should be.

They’re best friends first, and the romantic relationship is second. They don’t need to force the romantic interaction but if one initiates it, it’s always followed through on. So all of a sudden, when it doesn’t follow through, it can’t go unnoticed.

That one instance, which may seem so small in the moment, is part of the bigger, overall picture.

It can be fine. It doesn’t have to be this crushing thing if they can just talk about it.

Only it needs to come from Aleks. It needs to come naturally, without prodding him for it.

“You trying to butter me up for something?” Brett asks with a small grin.

“Well, it has been a bit since I fucked you.”

Brett chuckles and nods. “Wouldn’t mind you doing that again sometime soon.”  _ If you get real cool about a certain something real quick.  _ “So what’s that second thing?”

Aleks bites at his bottom lip and looks off above the phone. “So…” He huffs through his nose as he gives Brett his attention once more. “I’m sorry about this morning. The  _ I love you  _ stuff.”

Brett takes in a deep breath before he blows it out and then he’s looking off the other way. “Right, that stuff,” he mumbles.

The very important stuff that’s been a constant fixture in Brett’s mind ever since Aleks decided to blurt it out that one emotionally heavy night together.

“I just thought it seemed something you’d be fine with,” Aleks explains. “But that should’ve been something I talked to you about. Like, I should’ve asked if saying that during sex would be cool with you.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been nice on your part,” Brett adds casually.

He knows the moment he says it, that it probably wasn’t the right thing to say in response.

“What your deal today, bro?” Aleks asks with a bit of an edge. “You’ve been kinda passive aggressive and snippy lately.”

Brett’s eyes widen and he scoffs. “I’m sorry, did you FaceTime me to tell me you miss me or to yell at me?”

“See!” Aleks’ voice raises, but just a tad, not to the point it’s screechy. “You’re being snippy! Why are you being like that? You said we were okay this morning-”

“We are!”

“So why are you being…” Aleks frowns and his shoulders slump. “Why are you being kind of negative and mean?” he asks quietly.

“I’m not being mean-”

“Fine, but you’re being negative and I wish you’d tell me why so we could talk about it together.”

So this is what Aleks wants to talk about.

Aleks wants to talk about Brett and how he’s been acting. How his personality has been so fiery lately. He wants to get to the bottom of it and solve that problem, but he’s still oblivious to the fact that they need to talk about the fact that he just took back saying a monumental statement like _ I love you. _

Maybe it’s their job together as a couple to help the other figure it out, but then, they’re not fully a couple, are they? They’re exclusively dating each other, but they’re not boyfriends. This is something Aleks needs to figure out himself. He figures out himself, and _ then  _ they can be… whatever the hell Aleks wants them to be.

The ball is not in Brett’s court for him to tell Aleks what the problem is. Aleks needs to come to that on his own, and realize why taking that back could be such a harsh blow.

Brett crosses an arm behind his head and raises the phone up over his face so Aleks can look at him from a top down view. “I’m just…” He forces a sigh and shakes his head. “I’m not looking forward to hanging with my family this year.” Brett looks up to the ceiling. “That, and then I need to figure out the production schedule for next month, because it’s going to be super crazy, especially with everybody putting in vacations and stuff, wanting to be with their families, and I just don’t wanna deal with the hectic shit that comes with the holidays. I hate the holidays.”

It’s a good workaround for the actual problem at hand, and it’s not totally untrue. Brett does hate the holidays. At least with Thanksgiving, it’s remedied with large supplies of food, but Christmas? That’s just an expensive excuse to buy all the shit companies try to push into your face.

And then there’s getting everything together for video production next month in a new location. Brett’s not entirely unaware of what to do, but it’s the first time it becomes his main priority and it’s kind of daunting.

Aleks seems pleased enough with the answer though. His face relaxes into one of solemn understanding and then he’s standing up, taking the phone with him. “I’m sorry it’s heading into a rough time of the year for you,” he offers. “But I know you, and I know you’ll push through it like you always do. Also, I mean,” he shrugs and smiles, “you got me this year. Maybe it’ll make some of the holidays different.”

Aleks does make the holidays kind of different. He makes them better and it gives them more purpose to Brett. Holidays always have more purpose when you’re spending it with someone you love, even if that person doesn’t seem to confidently love you the same way but ha ha, SEMANTICS.

_ Love is pain. _

“You into the holidays?” Brett asks. “What do you think?”

“I’m a big fan of Christmas,” Aleks tells him. “I like the atmosphere of it. It’s cozy and comfortable, and everybody’s always happy.” He steps into the bathroom and sets the phone against the back of the counter so Brett can watch him get his things together for brushing his teeth. “I really like decorating for it too. It was really cool to get my own place and build up my own Christmas stash then decorate every year. But uh,” Aleks sighs and raises his eyebrows at the camera while he sticks his brush under the water, “you’re not into the holidays so I think decorating would be a no?”

“It’s not a no,” Brett immediately answers. “It’s… only the end of November,” he chuckles. “You know, you have a very good talent in changing my mind.” He raises a knowing eyebrow.

Aleks smiles and ducks his head as he runs a hand back through his hair. “It’d be cool to decorate our home,” he says quietly. “Or to come home one day and just see all the Christmas stuff everywhere. That’d be super chill.”

Brett’s already got Aleks’ Christmas gift in mind but… that doesn’t sound like a bad idea either. He can just imagine that look of starry eyed happiness plastered across Aleks’ face when he walks into their home and sees the commercialization of Christmas everywhere his eyes can reach.

It’s definitely something he needs to figure out the logistics for.

(And when is Aleks coming back home anyways? Hmm.)

“It would be, I suppose,” Brett responds just as quiet. “But yeah, uh, that’s why I’ve been so… blah.” He rolls his eyes.

“I knew it had to have a good reason behind it. It’s fine. I’m just glad we talked about it.”

Right. Yeah.

Good thing they talked about what’s been making Brett so on edge.

Very good thing.


	38. The Night Stands Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You just took it back. How could you do that?"

**November 26th, 2017**

Brett eased up on Aleks after their initial FaceTime conversation. Seems like he really  wasn’t looking forward to dealing with his Catholic family, and Aleks can understand how that puts somebody in a less than pleasant mood.

He likes Brett. He really, really likes Brett, so he just wants Brett to be fine. He doesn’t want Brett to keep in his troubles and then explode at the most minor provocation because the things that have been upsetting him won’t be discussed. It means Aleks wants Brett to tell him if he’s doing something wrong, even if Aleks doesn’t wanna be told he’s doing something wrong because it means being less than good in Brett’s eyes.

But it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. The point of a healthy relationship is to have those hard hitting conversations, and Aleks thinks it’s good that they could have that conversation. It was tense at first, and he himself was irritated, but they soon got past it and after that, things were fine.

Even conversations like that make being in a relationship worth it. It shows that they both care. If you don’t care, those conversations wouldn’t happen. It’s not supposed to be easy all the time - it’s work.

Aleks is prepared for all the work a relationship brings.

So his Thanksgiving weekend was pretty chill after all of that.

He had even told his family about Brett, how he’s  _ “the older guy you see in videos, with the beard? Talks like an old timey prospector?”, _ and his dad had quipped that Aleks seems to like them older nowadays and after Aleks groaned about it, his dad chuckled and told Aleks that he was glad to see him so happy.

Aleks’ family is pretty accepting of the whole thing and he’s glad they are.

There were a few comments made about Brett here and there, but he didn’t dominate conversation and honestly? Aleks likes that. He likes that Brett can be a casual part of the conversation and not this overpowering new thing. He wants it to be as normal as talking about astrological signs and somebody’s favorites, he doesn’t want it to be this huge presence that can be the focal point of conversation, even if he does want to scream about Brett from the rooftops.

It shows that Brett is already a part of his daily rhythm, and he doesn’t need to do a thing to change it. It speaks high hopes for their future.

After all that, it makes sense that his flight was pushed back so that he couldn’t come back home to LA until the nighttime. What a fucking buzzkill.

He does make it back to LA that night though, at the cost of his energy. He was hoping to spend time with Brett as soon as he got home but it looks like he needs to go right the fuck to sleep instead with how late it is.

**[Brett]** Yes, absolutely go to sleep. It’s totally fine, angel <3 See you soon.

Aleks smiles down at his phone right as he steps out of his Uber with his luggage. He gives the driver a wave and a goodbye before he drives off, just to acknowledge him somewhat so it doesn’t seem like he’s so overcome with  _ something _ for his boyfriend.

Almost boyfriend. They’re  _ almost  _ boyfriends.

God, Aleks wishes they were! They need to talk about that sometime soon! Maybe the end of the month would be a good time to bring it up, because once December kicks in, there’s going to be no time at all with their video schedule and everybody rushing around making holiday plans.

Yes. The end of November, Aleks will ask Brett to take it to that next level.

2017 really is the year for him and Brett, huh? How exciting is that! They started the year as friends, became close friends,  _ best  _ friends, friends with benefits, and now… all of this! It really gets better and better for them!

Maybe by the end of the decade, with the way things are progressing, they could even be  _ more _ than boyfriends.

Like, they could be  _ husbands. _

Okay, not that far, though Aleks really doesn’t mind that image of him and Brett in tuxedos at an altar together.

Aleks walks up the pathway to their front door, but stops in his tracks when he sees the white, wireframe snowman set beside the door and waving a wireframe candy cane with a big ol’ smile. Aleks cocks his head and gives the snowman a weird grin before he goes ahead to the front door… and while he doesn’t stop entirely, he does give a lingering gaze to the white wreath hanging over the front of the door.

But then Aleks enters the house and suddenly, the snowman and wreath starts to make sense.

_ Shit, dude, there’s Christmas decorations- _

His train of thought is silenced by a very familiar pair of lips on his own, and a scratchy beard that Aleks loves the burn of. It’s a short, simple kiss, but long enough for Aleks’ weird grin to shift into that of an almost bashful smile before Brett pulls away to point up to the ceiling.

When Aleks’ eyes follow his finger, they end right on a very obvious mistletoe hanging over the front door. A blush tints his cheeks as he looks back down to Brett, who’s just giving him this knowing grin like he knows he totally just made Aleks’ night and it’s only going to get better, like how their shared lives will only get better the longer they spend it with each other.

“You gotta kiss under the mistletoe, right?” Brett says.

Aleks teases, “weren’t gonna kiss me otherwise?”, but the soft tone he says it in coupled with an equal expression shows his genuine fondness.

“Well, I don’t need an excuse to kiss you, buuuuut it certainly does help.” Brett looks off towards their home, eyes wandering all over. “What do you think?”

“Uh…” Aleks looks all over, but it still hasn’t quite settled in yet. “Th-the decorations? I didn’t even think you were into this.”

Brett shrugs. “Didn’t think I’d be into guys either and uh,” he scoffs, “yeah, dude. Things change. And then some stay the same. And some things I wish I could change but ha ha!” He claps his hands loud enough to make Aleks jump.  _ “Anyways, _ I did this all for you.” He looks back to Aleks, his knowing grin now stealing Aleks’ bashful smile, and he quietly asks again, “so do you like it?”

Does Aleks like the fact that Brett, a vocal Christmas hater, actually decorated what looks to be the entire house just for him? Of course he does.

But he still takes a minute or two to look all over, and walk around, to fully and properly take in everything that Brett has done. The sentiment is appreciated but Aleks wants to look into all the hard work, all the little things Brett has done to really make that sentiment come to life. It’s the thought that counts, they say, and it’s enough for Aleks but Aleks wants Brett to know that it’s genuine, that it’s not just something Aleks is telling him because he _ loves  _ Brett.

Shiny white and blue garland spiral the railing of the stairs, with big blue bows every few inches apart. The garland even drapes over the picture frames ascending up the wall, and when Aleks looks to the stairs themselves, he sees various plushies settled along the sides out of the path - snowman plushies, reindeer plushies, angel plushies, and cartoon pine trees with cutesy smiles.

His hand gently plays with the delicate garland at the start of the railing and the fingers run along the blue suede of the bow. Aleks’ fingers glide off the bow and he averts his gaze to the main attraction of the living room, which isn’t the big, green pine tree, but rather what’s beside it - the entertainment center that houses their TV, gaming systems, and other assortments of electronics and knick knacks.

The center has been draped with the white and blue garland and there are two stockings hanging at either ends, however, blue and red stockings with the letter “B” and “A” respectively emboldened on the satin fabrics in white.

Aleks’ stocking seems to already have a few things inside.

One empty shelf of the entertainment center has a mini green pine tree that covers almost the entire back wall, and in front, are collectible action figures of Mr. and Mrs. Clause with their elves and reindeer. It’s ridiculously cute, these figures and the plushies, and if all of this came from Brett’s personal Christmas collection, Aleks has to wonder what his childhood during Christmas was like.

It also makes Aleks wonder about their Christmas, one of what he hopes will be many more.

He looks off into the dining room area, a simple red tablecloth covering the expanse of the table but the chairs are outfitted with red covers that hide the back of the chairs, white fur trim along the bottom, and new white seat cushions that Aleks suspects will be a mainstay of their home. In the middle of the table is a long, brown basket with fake white flowers, simply there for show, but it really fits with the rest of the dining room decor.

Though Aleks knows Brett is internally fuming that they’re not real. He makes a note to buy Brett some real white flowers for Christmas.

Looking past that into the kitchen, there’s not much, considering the flammable hazards they could present, but there’s some small Christmas themed baskets and little porcelain statues set away from the actual cooking areas. They fit seamlessly and don’t seem at all out of place, like they could stay there even after Christmas if Brett wanted to.

But he doesn’t, because Brett wanted to do all of this for him.

Every single thing Brett does, it’s been for him.

“Aleks?” Brett chuckles nervously. “Did I go overboard? And I know the tree isn’t decorated yet but I figured you and I could do it together-”

“I’m in love with it,” Aleks says quietly. “Every single thing about it.”

_ I’m in love with you. _

God, Aleks was so  _ stupid. _

He told Brett he didn’t love him like that, and only now does he realize that yes, he does love him like that, in the unique way that soulmates do.

Aleks is completely in love with Brett, and everything about him. From his humor and stubbornness, to his loyalty and dramatics, every single thing comes together to create  _ Brett Hundley _ and that’s one of a kind.

He’s irreplaceable. So much so, that it’s like Brett has always said about Aleks, how descriptions of every kind can’t do him justice because it just robs Aleks of who he truly is, to compare him to anything, because Aleks is of the highest regard, and Brett is too.

Brett is just  _ Brett  _ and that’s the only way to describe him. There will never be the words to explain him, not enough expressions of passion to fully show his love for the older man that has helped shape his life into what it is now, as a content creator for YouTube and Twitch, and Aleks honestly can’t imagine what he would do right now if it wasn’t for Brett’s guidance, Brett’s support, and most importantly, Brett’s love.

He could tell Brett how he feels, because there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain it, but in this current moment, Aleks is speechless and lost for words.

Words like,  _ “I’m in love with you.” _

In the silence that falls between them, Aleks looks over to give Brett his full attention and notices Brett’s eyes roaming all over his face, squinted like he’s in deep consideration, and Aleks thinks for a moment that he must’ve blurted out he was in love with Brett and now Brett is trying to make sense of his declaration, and now he’s debating between whether to have a serious talk with Aleks about it or call this relationship quits before it even starts because it’s  _ too soon _ but then Brett is chuckling, and Aleks’ body relaxes completely.

“I’d hope so,” Brett tells him. “Because it’d really suck if I did all this for you and you just hated it or decided right then and there to tell me you were lying about your love for Christmas this entire time.”

“N-No,” Aleks chuckles and shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t lie.”

“Hmm.” Brett cocks his head. “Not ever?”

Well. He supposes he lied when he told Brett that he didn’t love him like that, because he realizes he does  _ now _ but is it really a lie if he genuinely believed it at the time?

And now it makes sense, why he’s had this urge to constantly tell Brett he loves him whenever they’ve been having sex lately - it was his subconscious screaming at him to realize the obvious.

Fuck. He really is a hopeless romantic.

“Not to you, no,” Aleks answers.

Brett just smiles, ever so politely, and blinks before he takes Aleks’ hand with a prompt nod. “Okey dokey, lover boy. Good enough answer for me.” Then his smile grows bigger, in the way cheshire cats do, before he gently leads Aleks to the staircase. “I decorated our bedrooms too by the way, even if you never go in yours anymore. I guess I should just call my bedroom  _ our _ bedroom, in that case, but I still wanna give you that space to yourself just in case.”

Aleks shakes his head, allowing Brett to walk him up. “Can’t see myself going back there. Not that it’s bad, but sleeping with you, sharing a space with you, living a life with you, has been pretty dope so far.”

“So far,” Brett chuckles. “Think something is going to happen between us in the near future?”

Aleks’ heart flutters in anticipation for something he knows everything and nothing about.

He wants to think something good will happen between them in the near future. He was planning to tell Brett that they should upgrade their relationship to the official boyfriend level by the end of the month, and he can’t see Brett saying no to that. Aleks can only see this  _ not  _ happening by some circumstance beyond his control, or if there was a sudden change to their dynamic, but besides Brett’s slightly increased petty nature lately, it’s been the same as it’s always been.

This is all just what Aleks fantasizes. He knows everything about his planned future, but the reality can often be the total opposite. Hell, before he came to Los Angeles, he had no idea that he and Brett would even be so deep into this thing with each other - he thought that maybe they’d get closer, the both of them living in the same state in roughly the same area, but not so close that they’d literally be inside each other.

Everything and nothing, the 100% and 0% of pure written word, yet both still leaves iotas of possibilities on the table for his and Brett’s future.

All Aleks sees, in his most realized love addled state, is the excitement and glamour of a relationship with a man he’s in love with more than anyone and anything.

He can’t see anything going wrong, but why would it?

* * *

**November 30th, 2017**

Brett experienced some serious deja-vu a few days ago when Aleks expressed his affections for his festive handiwork, because it sounded so similar to something Brett told Aleks the moment he realized he was in love with that gorgeous blonde twink.

Even if it’s been hard to be in love with him lately, because his feelings haven’t been requited and when Brett thought they were, Aleks kind of took it back and Aleks hasn’t really said anything about it since or even show Brett that he might feel the same exact way but Brett isn’t going to directly ask Aleks if he’s in love with him because who the fuck even does that and so he’s going to continue indirectly mentioning it in passive-aggressive Brett fashion because he’s not actually going to tell Aleks he’s upset he took it back and reveal his feelings in the process because that’s  _ scary. _

Why is being in love with your best friend turned fuckbuddy turned romantic partner so complicated?

It’s as complicated as that hippie minivan Sugar Pine 7 sent Cow Chop for their secret santa present. Cool in theory until you realize you need a screwdriver to put into the ignition to even get it started and it reeks of a very subtle curry smell, but Asher, in a very rare moment of intelligence, sprayed the whole interior with a bottle of Febreze he had laying around in his car.

And in a rare moment of kindness towards Asher, Brett had thanked him. He can’t remember the last time he’s been so kind to Asher in one month.

After Sugar Pine 7 leaves and they film their latest CCTV, they move the van over to the parking lot spot closest to the gate. They’ll probably get rid of it by the next week, but it’ll be useful for a couple of videos and Brett will take any reasonable chance there is to make content, especially with December hitting them tomorrow and then everybody will be running around like chickens with their heads (cow) chopped off.

It’s only hectic because the last week of December will be taken up by everybody going away on holidays, and in Brett and Aleks’ case, a romantic trip to that ski resort in Colorado, which Brett is still looking forward to despite the circumstances because he is  _ not _ going to let unrequited feelings ruin a good time in a rich and fancy resort, are you fucking kidding?

Anyways, they gotta squeeze in shit tons of content and Brett and Aleks need to pick up some work to do at home to get it done, along with everyone else, so there won’t be much time for any hanging out in between.

At least it’s only for one month. Brett can handle the crunch.

Brett steps out of the van after parking it, double checking to make sure the screwdriver is in the car, before closing the door. When he steps around to the other side, he sees that gorgeous blonde twink of his with a smarmy little grin on that pretty face that shows he wants to get up to some business.

_ Sex _ business, that is.

“Sup?” Aleks greets with a head nod.

“Aleks,” Brett starts with a warning tone, “we’re not going to do it at the office.”

“What?!” Aleks gasps and quickly shakes his head like Brett just called him a girly twink to his face. “Me?! Proposition you for  _ sex _ at the o _ ffice?” _

“Yeah, can you believe it?” Brett teases in monotone.

“No, no, no.” Aleks shakes his head. “I just uh, wanna run something by you.” He looks over to the van. “In there. Privately.”

Brett knows damn well that as soon as they get in there, Aleks is going to lock the doors, push him down, and grind himself down on his cock until Brett gives in. He’s more persistent than Brett is, and if anybody is more stubborn than Brett, it’s probably Aleks. He knows what he wants and he goes for it, doesn’t beat around the bush or anything.

So knowing all of that, he still follows Aleks into the van, and he’s still surprised when Aleks locks the doors and pushes him down anyways.

Everything after that, however, isn’t much of a surprise at all, and his body just goes on natural instinct when Aleks frames his face to push their lips together. Brett’s already giving into the kiss, letting their lips slide perfectly together like they always do, in such seamless fashion that the judges of Project Runway would be amazed.

This is just natural instinct though, what he immediately does before he realizes where they’re at and what exactly they’re doing. Then he’s gotta be the responsible one.

Being the responsible one sure can suck sometimes, but one of them has to do it.

“Mmm, Aleks-”

“Yeah, daddy?”

Brett’s chuckle comes out in a low rumble against Aleks’ lips before he tilts his head to the side for Aleks’ mouth to catch his cheek in the last second. “Seriously, we can’t do it here,” he reminds him. “It’s-”

“Risky?” Aleks raises an eyebrow at Brett and lowers his hands from his face to grab his shoulders. “Don’t you kind of get off on the thought that people could walk in or watch?” He stares into Brett’s eyes for a moment before he allows his gaze to drink in his entire form. “Don’t you like the idea of people possibly finding out what a slut I am for you?”

“Notice all those keywords?” Brett watches Aleks’ ravenous eyes. “Could? Possibly? Thought? Idea? It’s hot, in theory.”

“Don’t you want that to be a reality?”

“We can’t do this like, when everyone leaves?”

“There’s no risk then.”

“Why do you want people to see? They pretty much already know what we get up to. We’re not as subtle as we think we are.”

Aleks looks back to Brett with squinted eyes then, and Brett squints his eyes in return, a silent challenge for Aleks to contest his words, but there’s a hint of a grin to Brett’s lips that shows he means no actual malice.

He’ll never mean malice towards Aleks. Maybe he’s been more petty than he should with him lately, sure, but he thinks he has a bit of a pass considering Aleks took back a pretty fucking big statement.

“Fine,” Aleks relents. “We do it when everyone leaves?”

Brett nods. “For sure-”

“Howdy dudes, what’s the - oh…”

Brett and Aleks look up and immediately scramble away from each other when they see Trevor’s wide eyed expression.

In hindsight, it’ll be a memory that reminds Aleks why some ideas should stay better in theory than actual practice. In the moment, Brett just feels embarrassed that he got caught in an intentionally compromising position with Aleks at their place of work, and he’s hoping it doesn’t make him seem like a hypocrite considering how he preaches professionalism.

“H-Hey,” Brett stammers out. “What’s up?”   


“Um…” Trevor looks over to Aleks, raises his eyebrows, and blows out a breath before returning his attention to his boss. “I need to uh, talk to you. Brett. When you’re done with… whatever-”

“No, dude, I’m free.” Brett shakes his head and reaches his hand back to give Aleks’ hand a reassuring squeeze before he clamors out of the van. “Come on, we’ll talk in my office.”

“Brett!”

Brett tenses before he turns to look at Aleks. “Hmm?”

Aleks smirks. “Don’t forget what we talked about.”

Brett swallows and glances to Trevor, a blush heating his cheeks at the rather incredulous look Trevor is giving him, before he looks to Aleks. “Yeah, trust me,” he manages in a lower tone. “There’s no way I can forget that.” He clears his throat and shoves his hands into his jeans before he turns around to start following Trevor back into the warehouse.

Yeah, he and Aleks are definitely not fucking in the warehouse during a work day anytime soon. He’s a bit surprised Aleks didn’t tell him that they weren’t in the warehouse, that they were in the parking lot, but he guesses some wires can get crossed when you’re trying to have, or are currently having sex with someone.

Like Aleks saying he loves him! Things like that!

On the way to his office, Brett can’t help but notice Trevor’s different demeanor. It’s not as cheery as it should be, and the air between them is heavy with tension and not of the hot kind that usually permeates his air with Aleks. It’s a bit uncomfortable, like something important has yet to be said - you know, like the kind that recently permeates his air with Aleks.

He seriously needs to fucking tell Aleks what his problem is before this consumes him whole. He’s kind of realizing how unhealthy it is to bottle it up.

“Are you okay?” Brett asks quietly. “Everything alright?”

“Uh… y-yeah. Yeah. No? Maybe.” Trevor sighs and runs a hand back through his hair as he leans against the wall by Brett’s desk. “It’s. It’s kind of bad news.”

Brett bites at his lip and makes his way around his desk to take a seat. “Okay,” he says. “What’s up?”

Trevor taps the ends of his fingers together and looks off towards the doors at the other end. He swipes his tongue along his lips and gently gnaws at the bottom before he, almost cautiously, looks to Brett.

“I need some time off,” Trevor says. “But I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

Trevor said it was kind of bad news, but this is straight up bad news.

Joe just left and James wants to leave and his replacement is following suit? Talk about a big fucking wrench in the plans they’ve been reworking like crazy.

What are they supposed to do without two of their top talents, without two of their good friends? Everybody loves Trevor and James and Brett really thought Trevor was fully coming into his own, realizing the potential for his bright future, and… he wants to leave? He says it’s just time off, but he also says he doesn’t know when he’ll be back and that doesn’t really help Brett at all.

Brett needs to treat it like it’s permanent, because he can’t make plans and expect Trevor to be in content they’re producing at a certain date when he doesn’t even know for certain when he’ll be back.

Christ, and now he has to tell Aleks the news, and god knows how stressed Aleks has been. It’s just another thing on Aleks’ plate for him to deal with and Brett’s used to giving bad news, he had to learn to do it the more he managed channels, but it’s different to break bad news to the love of your life.

“I-It’d be March at the latest,” Trevor continues. “But I told Aleks that it wouldn’t be permanent, it’s just that I want time to figure stuff out-”

“Wait.” Brett furrows his eyebrows. “You told Aleks about this?”

Trevor’s eyes widen. “Uh. Yeah. Did he say anything to you?”

Brett rolls his lips back between his teeth and bites, quite hard, before letting go. “No,” he says roughly. “No, he didn’t.”

Trevor sighs a bit with relief. “Alright. Good. But yeah, that’s. That’s the plan-”

“We’ll work something out.”

“... so are you cool with-”

“As a friend, yeah. As a boss, it’ll be kind of hard with everything else going on but of course I’m not gonna say no. You wanna take a sabbatical to figure yourself out, just like any other person your age would want, and that’s chill.” Brett climbs out of his chair. “I’ll be back, I gotta piss. Oh, by the way,” he looks to Trevor, “when did you tell Aleks?”

“A few weeks ago?”

“Cool.” Brett nods. “I’ll be right back, I gotta take a piss.”

Before he can listen to what Trevor says in return, he’s already out of that office and heading into the nearest bathroom to gather all his bearings and connect the dots in peaceful silence.

Aleks knew this entire time.

He knew and he didn’t tell Brett about it, about crucial information that if he knew firsthand, could make December and the following months easier to get through. He could have a headstart but now he’s gotta work quick to make wine from fucking water without proper time to do so, but that all takes a backseat to the fact that Aleks just didn’t tell him.

Aleks hasn’t been telling him a lot of things lately. It seems to be his new habit!

And a few weeks ago, Aleks took back saying  _ I love you,  _ and Brett’s starting to think that maybe that breakdown Aleks had before they made love that night, before Aleks said all those  _ amazing _ things that could’ve meant so much for their future, was a result of what Trevor told him.

He was so afraid about everyone leaving. First Joe, then James, and now Trevor.

And he didn’t tell Brett the full story.

So it makes Brett wonder so many things, and he fucking hates how many possibilities there are when it should be something definite and concrete, a 100% or a 0%.

He wonders if Aleks was being truthful when he told Brett he said it in the heat of the moment, and only said it because he was desperate to keep Brett from leaving him too.

And he wonders if he does love Brett, but isn’t confident about it, just like he wasn’t confident about telling Brett t _ his,  _ like he wasn’t confident in telling Brett all his worries and if he really wants to be with Brett, that’s something he shouldn’t be scared of.

Brett hates both options either way.

He hates them enough that it’s not something he can keep to himself anymore.

* * *

_ Aleks stays behind in the van for a bit just to calm his erection down some, because he’s not going back into the warehouse with an obvious hard on for his boyfriend-not-boyfriend. It’s as he’s coming back in does he see Brett storming out of the bathroom, only to stop in his tracks and do a double take when he sees Aleks. _

_ “Hey,” Aleks begins to greet again, “you-” _

_ “We need to talk when we get home,” Brett tells him in a lower tone than usual. _

_ “Okay.” Aleks nods. “What did you wanna talk about… uh, Brett?” _

_ Aleks watches as Brett ignores him to enter the main warehouse area, the sounds of his footsteps still booming in his ears. He swallows and presses his lips together as he hugs his arms to himself, the feeling that whatever they’re going to talk about could mean bad news making him sink into the ground. _

That sinking feeling still pushes Aleks down as they exit the car. The whole ride home was tense, in fact, Brett barely even talked to him at the office. Granted, they were leaving in an hour and a half anyways and they both had their own things to work on but usually Brett will come over and ruffle Aleks’ hair or pat his shoulder, a tactile action that shows Aleks that Brett is thinking of him, but not even that happened.

He knows that something is wrong. It’s obvious with the way Brett walks, the way he talks, and how he slams opens the door with such force that hits Aleks with a gust of wind and leaves Aleks the one to close it, which he does - but with gentle hesitation, like closing the door will be the start to whatever Brett is about to unleash.

It can’t be about him though. Brett would have no reason to be angry at Aleks. They’ve been getting on so well lately and Brett fucking decorated the house for Christmas _ just _ for Aleks, so he wouldn’t be angry, right?

“So,” Aleks swallows as he watches Brett rip his hat off to throw it onto their couch, a lovely white knitted blanket with light blue snowflakes hanging over the black leather back, “what did uh, what did you-”

“Trevor’s leaving,” Brett says. “Well,” he chuckles bitterly, “no, he says he’s taking  _ time off _ but he doesn’t know when he’ll be back sooo,” he shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest, “let’s just say he’s leaving for the sake of it, considering that’s what everybody else wants to fucking do.”

Aleks knew that’s what they talked about in his office. The look Trevor gave him before he stole Brett away was a good enough indicator, and he knew Brett wasn’t going to be 100% happy about it, but that’s to be expected. However, he wasn’t expecting Brett to literally be  _ fuming _ over it.

He takes a few steps closer to Brett. “Babe,” he starts gently as he raises a hand to place it on Brett’s shoulder, “I-”

“But you know what’s worse?” Brett laughs and pulls himself away from Aleks’ touch. “The fact that you fucking knew and you didn’t tell me.”

Wait.

This is what he’s so angry about?

It’s not Trevor leaving, but Aleks not telling him? That’s the thing that’s making him stomp around the warehouse throwing a silent tantrum? Aleks not telling him something that Trevor told him in confidence?

This is what he gets for falling in love with an English major. In some other universe, he'd be a theatre major, or a film major, and Aleks imagines he'd act just the same regardless.

Aleks sighs heavily while he looks Brett up and down. He’s trying to put together the right words to delicately let Brett know, in a kind way, that he’s being irrational. He knows Brett is high on the defensive right now and this is a minefield he needs to traverse carefully.

“Look.” Aleks takes another breath. “I didn’t tell you-”

“You know, you don’t tell me  _ a lot _ of things.”

“What?!” Aleks laughs nervously and squints his eyes. “If you’d let me finish, I didn’t tell you because Trevor told me not too, and what do you mean when I don’t tell you a lot of things? It was this one thing-”

“Oh, so Trevor told you not to.”

“Yeah!”

“But we’re  _ dating,” _ Brett tells him. “And it’s not just your company, it’s  _ my  _ company, and I should know things like this when it first comes out. It goes beyond a friend thing at that point-”

“So that means you’re gonna stomp around and not talk to me?” Aleks points out in a higher pitched tone. “That means you’re going to be angry at me? Because of this?”

“Oh god,” Brett groans and runs his hands down his face. “You’re missing the whole point-”

“Well what is the point!” Aleks demands. “Because you’re not telling-”

“You don’t tell me things! You either don’t tell me things or you do and then you take it back and act like it means nothing, you act like it’s  _ worthless!” _ He huffs and looks off to the side, tongue poking around his cheek before he looks back to Aleks. “It’s like you’re not confident about us being together like this, in a serious way.”

It’s the biggest slap to Aleks’ face that he’s ever felt.

Aleks isn’t confident about them being together? Okay, yeah, maybe in the very beginning when they first decided to start dating, and it was part of why he took back saying “I love you”, but that’s over with now - and it had nothing to do with Brett.

He didn’t realize it at the time, that he was in love from the start, and he didn’t want to mess things up when they’re just now starting to be good.

_ ”... then you take it back and act like it means nothing, you act like it’s worthless!” _

Oh  _ fuck, _ is that it?

That’s what Brett is mad about.

That’s why he’s been so petty with Aleks lately.

That’s why he told Aleks he was  _ just tired _ when he got grouchy with him.

Aleks narrows his eyes in dawning realization then. “That’s why you’re mad, isn’t it?” he asks, quiet and calm. “Dude, you’ve been so on edge with me ever since then. You’re upset that I told you I loved you and took it back.”

There’s a beat of silence and Aleks detects the smallest glint of fear in Brett’s eyes, that small twinkle, and it’s clearly caught Brett off guard, but he still comes out swinging.

“Yeah, that’s why!” Brett admits. “You took it back-”

“So why does it make you mad?” Aleks clenches his jaw. “Why would that make you so mad?”

There’s only one reason he could be so mad about it.

You could only have such strong feelings for something that, you know, gives you such strong feelings.

If he didn’t love Aleks the same way, he wouldn’t be reacting like this.

Or maybe he would, just because he’s always been dramatic, but he’s still  _ rational. _ He still thinks critically, so he can’t just be mad for the sake of it.

He’s mad because he thought Aleks didn’t feel the same way - except he does.

Brett runs his teeth along his bottom lip and looks down to the ground between them. His eyes shift side to side, his arms cross over his chest, he’s actively dodging the question, and now Aleks is the one that’s getting a bit mad.

Because Brett got on his case for taking it back, for not being able to say it and stick with it, but here he is and he can’t even say it in himself.

How hypocritical.

“Say it,” Aleks tells him. “Say why you’re mad.”

“I shouldn’t have to say it,” Brett responds above a whisper. “I shouldn’t have to tell you the reason,” he chuckles, “the most logical reason, why I’d be so mad about it.”

“If it’s what I’m thinking, then no. You  _ do _ have to say it.”

“If you’re not, I shouldn’t either.”

Aleks cracks a grin and raises his eyebrows in disbelief. He’s never witnessed Brett like this  _ ever _ in his life. He’s never seen him so… so…

“I’ve never seen you be so petty in my life,” Aleks says, an eerily calm manner. “And so defensive. I figured like, I’d see you like this one day, but I didn’t think it would ever be towards  _ me.” _

“You just took it back,” Brett reminds him in a stuttered voice. “How could you do that?”

Aleks can understand that frustration. He’d be mad too if he was in love with somebody and that somebody told him he loved him and then took it back. It’s basically wiping away any future with them for the time being.

But Aleks would immediately voice his frustration if that happened, or he wouldn’t bottle it up and act like everything is fine while his true anger shines through the splitting cracks of a carefree persona.

Brett did just that. He let this fester and let Aleks think that everything was  _ fine. _

“You had all this time to tell me,” Aleks points out. “I asked you so many times, why you were being so grouchy and upset, and you  _ lied _ . You didn’t tell me things either.”

Brett’s shoulders slump and he takes a step closer, but frowns when Aleks takes a step back. “I didn’t know how to bring it up-”

“So what then? You just get all mad and petty, like I’ll read your mind and you don’t have to do all the work? It’s a two way fucking street, dude.”

“O-Okay, fine. Yeah-”

“No, y-you can’t just give in now,” Aleks laughs and holds up his hands. “I call you out, and now you’re feeling bad about it?”

Aleks believes that Brett genuinely feels bad, because that’s the kind of person Brett is. In his worst moments, he talks without thinking, and Aleks is aware that this is a case of that, but it’s just a justification for why he’s acting that way.

It’s certainly not an excuse.

“Why do you think I decorated for you!” Brett’s voice cracks at the end. “I-It was all for you! I-I felt so bad, for being so grouchy about this, because I know I’m getting all in my feelings about it, and I know that bottling it up wasn’t going to help-”

“But you did it anyways!”

“I told you now!”

“Because I called you out! You would never actually tell me why if I didn’t say anything!”

“Aleks-”

“If you can’t communicate that with me, and if you can’t even tell me that you…”

_ If you can’t even tell me that you love me either. _

Aleks bites down hard on his lips as he looks Brett up and down. His mind is going a mile a second and he’s wracked with too many thoughts, with too many feelings, both mentally and physically - because Brett’s gaze is burning into him and he doesn’t have to look at Brett to see that worried frown on his lips but it’s too late now.

Brett didn’t do it directly, but he hurt him.

Aleks thought everything was great. He thought everything was fine.

He had all these images of their future together. He could envision it so clearly, the both of them moving into that blue house with the white picket fence and their pets freely running around. It was so clear, and that’s where everything seemed to be heading.

He’s not giving up on it. Aleks will never give up on them.

But it’s clear to him that this future won’t arrive as soon as he thinks. He and Brett have a few things to work on before that can happen.

Fuck. It already hurts him to think it, but he has to do it. In the long run, it’ll be better for them.

Won’t it?

“Maybe we should just slow things down,” Aleks says roughly.

Brett blinks a few times before his eyes widen in full registration of what Aleks is saying. “Slow things down? Aleks-”

“We can’t be together if we can’t work out how to communicate,” Aleks tells him.

“We can still work it out-”

“We’re just going back to way things were,” Aleks assures. “For now.”

“We’re supposed to go back to being friends? Like nothing ever happened?” Brett chuckles and shakes his head. “I-”

“It’s right before we made things official.” Aleks looks up to Brett before blinking away his budding tears. “It’s basically the same. We’re just not dating - we can’t date right now.”

They can’t date like this.

If they’re to date each other, shouldn’t they work out all their kinks first? If they’ve been dating long term, it’d be best to stick with it and work on it together, but they’re just starting out.

They need to be better.

How can they date when they can’t say  _ I love you,  _ even when it’s so obvious?

Brett shakes his head again. “Aleks, I didn’t mean-”

“You did.” Aleks breathes in deeply. “It’s okay.”

_ It’s not. _

“That’s what this break is for.” Aleks looks to the stairs and then drops his gaze to the floor. “I’m sleeping in my room tonight.”

He’s thankful that Brett doesn’t say anything as he makes his way up the stairs. It really won’t help him to hear Brett pleading his case and forgiveness, because Brett might be putty in Aleks’ hands but Aleks is putty in his.

They’re equals, after all.

Aleks makes it into his room and he’s taken aback when he sees red blankets instead of blue. The snowglobe of the two snowmen holding hands aren’t beside the TV and instead of an empty corner, is his streaming setup. The garland and string lights hanging over his window isn’t of the green, red, and white variants like it is in Brett’s room, but white and blue like it is in the living room.

His clothes aren’t strewn haphazard along the floor. The floor, and the entire room, is incredibly clean - too clean, as in it hasn’t been lived in, which makes sense considering Aleks hasn’t actually slept in here or really made good use of it for a good month or so. His chargers aren’t even plugged beside his bed, because they’re in Brett’s room, and when he realizes he needs to go into Brett’s room to actually gather up his shit and bring it back is when Aleks slams the door shut, presses his back to it, and falls straight to the floor to get himself under control.

Aleks closes his eyes tightly and runs his hands back through his hair before he grabs tight handfuls of blonde strands to pull on. He hides his face into his curled up knees and takes slow breaths, in and out. He thinks he’s on the brink of an anxiety attack, he knows he’s not, but it definitely feels like such.

Aleks doesn’t have an anxiety attack, thankfully, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he gets one in the upcoming days.

Wouldn’t you if you had to take yourself away from the person you’re in love with? The person you’ve been the most in love with out of anybody else?


	39. The Reality Of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work is busier than ever in December, in a way that it sort of helps Brett and Aleks' break from each other. But in the rare free moments in these busy days, there are instances that show that this break isn't the beginning to an end like it seems to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to upload two chapters today! But with that decision, comes another - the last chapter won't be posted until June 29th.
> 
> Thanks for reading so far <3

**December 1st, 2017**

It's the beginning to an end.

That's what Brett thought when Aleks decided to tell him they should slow down their relationship.

He’s really hoping it’s just his dramatic spirit making him think such. It’s been in his nature to overdramatize things, to make mountains out of molehills and though he’s learned to curtail that the older he gets, that theatre kid in him always is scraping at the walls and begging to be let out.

Brett doesn’t want to make a scene.

He didn’t mean to make a scene, and he especially didn’t mean to let his unfounded frustration get to such a point that Aleks thinks the only way to get past this is to _ slow things down. _

That dramatic theatre kid in Brett makes him think Aleks is giving up on them.

It just hit midnight and Brett’s been tossing and turning ever since going to bed alone for the first time in awhile. He keeps running over their argument in his mind, over and over, to wonder if maybe he could’ve said something else that wouldn’t have led to this outcome.

_ “Say it,” Aleks tells him. “Say why you’re mad.” _

If Brett tells Aleks why… what if Aleks just continues to tell Brett that he doesn’t love him? And he has to relive that hurt all over again, of Aleks denying what they are?

_ “I shouldn’t have to say it,” Brett responds above a whisper. “I shouldn’t have to tell you the reason,” he chuckles, “the most logical reason, why I’d be so mad about it.” _

_ “If it’s what I’m thinking, then no. You _ ** _do _ ** _ have to say it.” _

_ “If you’re not, I shouldn’t either.” _

It sounds so simple to Brett. Aleks won’t say what they are, so Brett won’t say what they should be.

_ Aleks cracks a grin and raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’ve never seen you be so petty in my life,” Aleks says, an eerily calm manner. “And so defensive. I figured like, I’d see you like this one day, but I didn’t think it would ever be towards _ ** _me.”_ **

It all sounded so simple until Aleks puts it all out in front of him like this.

_ “You just took it back,” Brett reminds him in a stuttered voice. “How could you do that?” _

He still thinks his anger is just-

_ “You had all this time to tell me,” Aleks points out. “I asked you so many times, why you were being so grouchy and upset, and you _ ** _lied._ ** _ You didn’t tell me things either.” _

Okay. Aleks has a point. There were many opportunities to tell him the real reason before. Then it wouldn’t have blew up into this big argument that is definitely not helped by everything that came afterwards.

He can see the hypocrisy, in not telling Aleks and getting mad at Aleks for not telling him things. That in mind, maybe he shouldn’t be so fiery. Maybe he should let Aleks drown some of those flames.

_ Brett’s shoulders slump and he takes a step closer, but frowns when Aleks takes a step back. “I didn’t know how to bring it up-” _

_ “So what then? You just get all mad and petty, like I’ll read your mind and you don’t have to do all the work? It’s a two way fucking street, dude.” _

_ “O-Okay, fine. Yeah-” _

_ “No, y-you can’t just give in now,” Aleks laughs and holds up his hands. “I call you out, and now you’re feeling bad about it?” _

_ “Why do you think I decorated for you!” Brett’s voice cracks at the end. “I-It was all for you! I-I felt so bad, for being so grouchy about this, because I know I’m getting all in my feelings about it, and I know that bottling it up wasn’t going to help-” _

_ “But you did it anyways!” _

_ “I told you now!” _

_ “Because I called you out! You would never actually tell me why if I didn’t say anything!” _

Brett had tried to salvage it upon the realization of his hypocrisy, coupled with his poor, and justified, attitude, but by that point, it was too late.

Aleks had already made up his mind. Brett was going to have to accept that things won’t be the same until… well, Aleks didn’t say when they’d try it again.

That’s what kills Brett, and it’s what sparks the dramatic side of him and makes him think this is the beginning to an end.

With a long sigh, Brett pulls himself up against the headboard of his bed and runs his hands down his face. On instinct, he looks over to his side to get a look at Aleks, because one look at him in the middle of the night is all it takes to calm anxious thoughts or nightmares, but his beloved is nowhere to be found.

He remembers then, that Aleks is back in his bedroom - just as alone as he is.

Brett swallows thickly and rubs the back of his neck, fingers scratching at the ends of his hair while he flips the covers off with the other hand to safely climb out of bed. He makes the way to his dresser into one of his drawers, leafing through until he can pull out a particular shirt. It’s rather plain, just a simple red t-shirt, but it’s Aleks’ shirt that he swiped right before they parted ways at RTX this year.

_ “Don’t you want this?” Brett asks as he holds the shirt up. “Pretty sure it’s yours.” _

_ Aleks shrugs. “Nah, just put it in with your luggage. I’m good.” _

_ Brett nods and holds the shirt firmly to his chest. “Okay. Well… I’ll see you in 2 weeks?” _

_ “2 weeks, yup.” Aleks nods and wheels his things to the hotel door. “Gonna be a long 2 weeks, my man!” _

Brett brings it to his nose to take a whiff of Aleks’ comforting scent. It doesn’t have that tinge of Aleks, considering Aleks hasn’t worn it since then, but every so often, Brett will take Aleks’ cologne for a few moments just to spritz it on this shirt so he can forever keep that RTX captured in the familiar AXE fragrance.

It’s not Aleks fully, but it’s just enough to help put some of those thoughts to bed. It’ll let him get some sleep instead of none at all.

Meanwhile, Aleks is tossing and turning all alone in his bed, dressed in boxers and that black shirt with a little pocket in the chest he stole from Brett at this year’s RTX.

It’s going to be a long month for both of them.

* * *

**December 4th, 2017**

Chocolate syrup stains Aleks’ face and it takes all of Brett’s power not to steal Aleks away from filming to lick that stain away.

Though he isn’t quite sure he’s allowed to do that for the time being. Aleks said that they needed to slow down, that they needed to go back to the way things were, but Brett doesn’t even remember how things were before all of this.

He doesn’t want to, anyways.

“At least we’re only filming the second part of the gift guide tomorrow,” James offers as he watches Aleks try to fix his appearance in his phone camera. “Though uh, guess we’re gonna be filming a whole bunch of other shit today…” His lips press together then before he exhales a long sigh through his nose. “Can’t wait to get all this done.”

“Think of it like this,” Brett says as he stands up from the wheelchair. “You’re not going to be around for next December, so you don’t gotta think about squeezing all that filming into a few weeks.”

James gives a tight smile. “Right. Still around until then though.”

“Nice for you to not totally bail,” Aleks murmurs.

James’ decision is a understandable one.

YouTube have been cheapskates and the platform is not as viable as it once was. It’s still possible to make a good amount of money, but who knows what’ll happen in a couple months time. It’s always changing, it’s not stable, and that can be a scary field to work for.

James has been working in the YouTube field for years and years, always working with other people, so burnout isn’t only understandable, but it’s expected at this point. Nobody holds any ill will towards him for his decision at all, but it’s still going to be hard doing this channel without him considering, you know, he and Aleks are kind of the selling point.

They have him until he leaves though, so they’re going to make the most of it.

Brett shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants and slowly makes his way to Aleks. “Yo, how about you clean up,” he suggests. “I can help.”

Aleks’ head snaps up to look at Brett upon that suggestion and though he looks right at him, Brett senses he’s actually looking through him. He seems to be in deep thought, and at first, Brett doesn’t know what it is he’d even be thinking about because it’s such a simple suggestion and then Brett remembers quickly that he offered to help.

He offered to keep them in close quarters.

Everytime Brett remembers that they’re supposed to go back to the way things are, his heart aches. What has become so normal for them is now suddenly so foreign.

Thankfully, Aleks doesn’t seem like he wants to part with that normalcy just yet.

“Yeah, okay.” Aleks shoves his phone into the pocket of his sweats.

Brett still feels the need to explain himself, or at least give a reasonable explanation that isn’t him trying to find any opportunity to spend just a modicum of time with the one he loves more than anything.

“Just cause, like, quicker you get cleaned up, quicker we can-”

“Go back to work?”

Maybe Aleks is thinking the same things Brett is, but Brett won’t ever know that answer.

They both make their way back to the bathroom in silence, though they keep themselves close enough for the tips of their fingers to keep gently brushing against the back of the other’s hand. There’s always a spark when it happens, and it’s the most exciting thing that has happened since Aleks decided they should slow things down.

He didn’t mean for everything to slow down, but they haven’t done anything with each other since that night.

The bathroom has a small shelf allocated for rags and other miscellaneous items, and Brett takes a rag to get it wet with warm water while Aleks sits on top the toilet seat. Instead of taking out his phone, he just looks over at Brett to watch as he takes more time than usual getting the rag wet.

“Probably gotta go change into something else after this,” Aleks says.

“Yeah,” Brett murmurs. “In hindsight, filming the gift guide first wasn’t my greatest idea,” he chuckles and squeezes out the excess water from the rag.

Aleks cracks a grin. “It’s the biggest video. Makes sense to get that out of the way first. Less pressure.”

Brett briefly raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “True. That was the intended plan.”

“Look, nobody brings two extra outfits for no reason. Cow Chop’s whole thing is being dirty.”

Brett chuckles. “I thought our whole thing was playing video games on the couch together?”

“It was until we learned people didn’t give a shit about that.”

Ha. Yeah. That YouTube audience sure is fickle. Gameplay videos are still a thing of the channel, but it definitely isn’t the focal point anymore. The videos that get the most views are their crazy ones, the live action ones that involve doing some sort of stunt or other gross thing.

It’s cool if you don’t mind doing that sort of thing. Brett’s pretty indifferent.

Brett comes over to kneel in between Aleks’ legs and Aleks shoves his phone back into his pocket. Brett keeps one hand on Aleks’ shoulder to ground him and the other raises the rag to his cheek to gently start pressing at his skin.

It’s the closest they’ve been to each other since that night.

So Brett takes this unique window of time they have like this to let his eyes encircle Aleks’ face, the way it did so many times before. It’s the same as it’s always been, that same thing of _ beyond description _that leaves Brett at a crossroads wondering if he should just keep what he wants to say to himself or let it be known to the open world, but there’s no fear if he keeps it to himself.

And he isn’t even sure that Aleks would want him in that way now after he told Brett he wanted to slow things down. Maybe he genuinely did before, but Brett has his doubts that he still does.

Until Aleks opens his eyes to look Brett in his. The expression in them, and his wandering pupils, gives Brett that sliver of hope that Aleks’ feelings haven’t wandered.

Brett’s hand moves a bit to the side for the rag to press to his neck now, and his thumb laid on top the line of Aleks’ jaw. Aleks is raising a hand though to take the rag out of Brett’s hand and sets it to drape over the steel rail bolted into the wall, right before he places that hand over the one on his neck.

Warm fingers curl around Brett’s hand and Brett’s heart quickens. His breathing picks up in pace and he hears Aleks shifting forward just that tiniest bit, enough where Brett can hear Aleks breathe, can _ feel _ his breath. He hears the office faintly in the background too, of everybody going ahead with their work and footsteps in the lounge, but it falls to the wayside in the moment with Aleks right now, as most things tend to do.

Brett wants to breathe in more of Aleks, suffocate on Aleks and expel his last breath in front of the man that’s changed all he’s ever known about love. Without Aleks, he’s not tethered to reality or this present and he’s just kind of floating in space, just going through the motions.

_ A hand reaches up to Brett’s cheek, a thumb gliding back and forth against his beard. “Kiss me,” Aleks whispers. _

_ “I kiss you right now and I’m not gonna stop,” Brett admits. _

_ “Just one?” Aleks turns his head and brushes his lips over Brett’s, tilts his head upwards with a small noise that sort of borders on a moan. _

Brett just manages to push that last bit forward for his lips to brush over Aleks’, because that’s all he can do until the knock on the door pulls them both out of their trance.

“Are you guys done?” Asher whines.

Brett pulls away with a huff and looks over to the door with a burning glare. “Dude, use the other one!” he yells in a rougher tone than normal.

“Uh, I-I can take it from here,” Aleks says softly as he reaches for the rag, though his gaze continues to linger on Brett.

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Brett sighs and stands up.

“Thanks though. Appreciate it.”

They haven’t been able to do anything since that night because, although that was implied to still be a continued thing, it just doesn’t make sense.

How can they do anything like that with each other when it stopped being sex so long ago? It’s not just a release, it’s not them looking to get it on with each other because they’re the closest thing and the hottest thing nearby.

It’s a shared experience of being with each other in the most intimate way. To do it with the purposes of anything else would simply be taking everything they’ve ever worked for.

Asher interrupting them, in the annoying way he always does, is just a reminder that as much as they might want that with each other, they probably shouldn’t. It’ll only serve to further complicate things.

Aleks presses the tips of his fingers to his lips as he watches Brett leave, the thoughts of what they were about to do replaying over and over in his head.

* * *

**December 7th, 2017**

“Linny, I’m just now getting home,” Brett sighs. “I’ve been up since 6 am, I’m going to get home, eat this Chinese, and pass right the fuck out,” he chuckles.

After work, Brett made a stop at Target to get one part of Aleks’ Christmas present. It was going to be this really sweet, sentimental thing that’d help cement them as a couple, because that’s what they were going to be. They were going to become boyfriends soon, until Brett had to fuck it up.

He’s not _ not _ going to give Aleks his present just because they’re supposed to be slowing things down though. Brett was deadset on it.

“Honestly, that sounds like a plan, man,” Lindsey says. “It’s been so intense lately, I think everyone is basically just going home to pass out afterwards.”

“You ever wonder if we picked the wrong industry to work in?” Brett teases. “I already can’t wait for the end of this month. We at least get a long holiday off, and then we don’t gotta think about work at all.”

And then Brett remembers, _ fuck, _ he has that getaway with Aleks and how the fuck is that going to work when they’re supposed to _ take it slow. _

_ Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow, _ christ, it’s all Brett keeps hearing in his head anytime he’s reminded of Aleks. _ Take it slow. _

He should be processing it better. But he’s not.

Lindsey snorts out a laugh. “I wonder it everyday,” she says, a bit too honest, “but I think the pros outweigh the cons.”

Brett snorts in return when she mentions the pros over the cons because “what fucking pros are you talking about?”

Because he’s one of the people in the warehouse, alongside Asher, that seems to think the light at the end of the tunnel is gradually dimming, and maybe the fact that he and Asher are in the same boat should motivate Brett to snap out of it, but it’s like, if Aleks is going to tell them to _ take it slow, _ he might as well be in these trenches with Asher.

It’s painful. Brett wants that pain.

Lindsey frowns and straightens herself on her couch. “It’s creative freedom and control over your own company?” she offers with a carefully casual tone. “Although it sounds pretty specific-”

“No, no,_ I _ don’t have creative freedom,” Brett reminds me. “Your boyfriend and my-” He bites hard at his lips and sinks his nails hard into the leather of his steering wheel. “Your boyfriend and _ Aleks _ are the ones with creative freedom.”

He forgets that. Like, he always forgets that he and Aleks aren’t boyfriend, because they really act like they are, but this is probably the first time he’s had to catch himself after everything.

“But nah, it’s cool. It’s_ cool, _ I’m chill, I’m - fuck!” Brett groans and honks his car, loud and long. “GO! THE LIGHT IS GREEN!! Fuck, I-I’m saying I’m _ fine _ . But don’t you just hate it? When you’re just feeling like all shitty one day but then you’re needed for something on camera and you have to act like everything is all cool, like you’re having fun when it just feels more like work for you, but _ haha, _ if anybody knows that, they’ll make a million different theories and speculate on what’s going because the internet, and just the whole _ world, _ is such an _ absolutely wonderful _ place.”

“Uh huh,” Lindsey says in monotone. “So you mean how James and Aleks feel all the time? Because they’re on camera all the time? Because I know James feels like that a lot…” Then with a sigh, she adds, “a whole lot. Don’t suppose you and Aleks have talked about this, because I’m sure he could help you or offer some advice.”

“It’s fine,” Brett mumbles.

It’s not, but he doesn’t wanna talk about Aleks anymore.

“How are you and him doing though?” Brett asks. “Considering his whole thing?”

Lindsey bites her lips. “He’s, um, been a little more distant than I would like,” she admits. “I get it, because work is crazy right now, but I know you’re just as busy as him and you’re here talking to me, ya know?”

Haha, well, see, Brett has the pleasure of having the time to talk to Lindsey, because he surely isn’t talking to Aleks as much as he’d like to. So he wouldn’t say he’s as busy as James, and admittedly, James is doing a bit more work than him. He still worries though, just because he wants his best friend to feel and know everything is fine.

Huh. What would life be like if he and Lindsey had a thing?

Though it’d probably lead to Brett having some issues with communication that leads to Lindsey deciding they should ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ ˢˡᵒʷ before she breaks up with him and moves out of his place and into her own apartment and thus starting the downspiral of Cow Chop as a channel until it ends on what will actually be a graceful note, and not with a whimper but with a bang.

“Dude’s a massive introvert though,” Brett tries to offer. “Probably just trying to recharge from talking to people literally every minute of the day. You’ve never dated a guy like that before.”

“You’re right.” Lindsey furrows her eyebrows. “Yeah, you’re - you’re right. It’s just different and I’m not used to it. Yeah.” She nods. “It’ll be fine, I’m just. You know, can’t help but worry sometimes,” she chuckles.

Brett chuckles in turn. “Yeah, I’m with you there,” he mumbles, and then he takes a deep breath in preparation when he sees his home come into view. “Just wait until January. If he’s still acting distant then, then I’d look more into it but right now, y’all are fine.”

_ Better than me and Aleks. _

“You and Aleks will be fine too, Brett.”

Brett swallows and rubs the back of his neck. “We’ll see about that.”

“Every relationship goes through a rough patch. I don’t know what’s up-”

“I’d rather just not talk about it, in all honesty.”

Lindsey presses her lips together and gives a prompt nod. “Well. If you ever need to discuss it, I’ll be here. You know that.”

Brett rolls his lips back between his teeth and looks to the touchscreen of his car as he successfully puts it into park. “I really do appreciate that,” he says quietly. “More than you know.”

She gives a smile. “I’ll always be here for you, Brett.”

“Yeah. Me too, Lindsey.”

They send each other off before Brett finally takes the keys from the ignition. He looks out the window and over to the front of his home, where Aleks is currently inside doing… whatever it is he’s doing. Probably playing video games, or maybe he’s just lounging around watching Netflix.

Things he used to do with Brett but isn’t anymore.

And it’s not the fact that he can’t kiss Aleks, that he can’t have sex with Aleks, that’s really getting to Brett.

It’s the fact that they can’t even go through the motions of daily life together anymore.

With a long, long sigh, Brett takes his bags from the passenger seat and heads out of his car and through the path to his front door. Upon placing his hand on the doorknob is when he realizes that there’s the sound of a piano playing faintly from inside his own home.

There’s only one other person who could be playing it right now, and if it’s not who Brett thinks it is, then he’s going to have to haul ass to find the steel baseball bat he has tucked away somewhere in the home.

But a home intruder would be a nice distraction from all these thoughts about Aleks. Maybe Brett could just get him out of the house by whining about Aleks until the intruder gets sick enough of hearing it, just like Aleks got sick of him enough to decide they should take it slow.

Brett steps into the home and drops his keys onto the table by the door. He blinks over to see Aleks at the piano, his eyes following along his fingers as they play the keys, and words of an unknown song quietly falling from his lips.

_ “If I could,” _ Aleks sings quietly, _ “then I would. I’ll go wherever you will go.” _

It’s a lullaby that pulls Brett in closer without his own volition. Aleks is the succubus and he’s caught in his melodic tunes, his whole body wanting to submerge itself into the calmness and supposed reassurance led by Aleks’ voice.

And reassurance is exactly what Brett needs, thus why he falls to his spell.

He comes up beside Aleks and leans down to press a kiss to the top of his head. Aleks’ fingers stop where they are, his mouth stays parted open, and Brett is oblivious to all of it.

All he feels right now is Aleks underneath him, and that kiss to the top of Aleks’ head is what Brett continues to think about as he leaves to head up the stairs.

What he doesn’t see is Aleks watching after him with bright, hopeful eyes, and what he doesn’t hear is Aleks continuing to sing that song once more.

_ “In your heart, in your mind…” _ Aleks blinks over to the stairs. _ “I’ll stay with you for all of time.” _

* * *

**December 12th, 2017**

Their reservation for the getaway is nonrefundable.

Aleks continues to look ahead at his laptop like the words will change if he just stares long enough, but the terms are clear. He’s going to have to go with Brett on this getaway and just hope things will resolve themself by then.

It’s okay. Totally.

Like, how long does taking it slow even mean anyways? It’s… it’s not like they’re going to not date for months or years, it’s just a few weeks.

These few weeks apart should give them much needed clarity. It should allow them to look at the situation with fresh eyes and no bias, no rose colored glasses, and it’s exactly what Aleks intended when he told Brett that they need to slow things down.

He wasn’t thinking about how hard this would be on himself though.

It’s the right choice to make. He knows it. They can’t have a relationship if they don’t know how to better communicate, so they need to work on this. Moreso Brett than Aleks, because Aleks is like, already so good with his communication and he’s been telling Brett everything on his mind, well, besides the fact that he loves Brett and he loves Brett _ like that _ but.

But…

Aleks swallows heavily and runs a hand back through his hair before he slams the lid of his laptop shut.

He hears footsteps coming down the stairs and considering the loud sound of them, Aleks knows that it isn’t his pets but rather the big, strong man he was previously becoming so acquainted with.

Aleks makes no move to give Brett his attention, that is, until Brett finally comes down and walks right past Aleks, in low hanging sweatpants and a dripping wet body.

That’s when Aleks immediately perks up to give that big, strong man all of his attention.

It’s so obscene. It really is, how Brett just goes to the fridge to grab some water to drink out of while the water drips from his hairy pecs, pecs that Aleks used to lay his head on every night until their confrontation.

There hasn’t been anything of note since then. They haven’t slept together, nor have they fucked each other, and they can sort of keep it together at work, but it’s all kinds of awkward at home.

Especially now, when there’s so much heated tension curling in with that awkwardness. It makes Aleks downright uncomfortable, and he kind of wants to whine about it.

They were supposed to go back to the way things were before they started dating. Instead, they’re just acting like strangers who live together and have the same place of work.

“Aleks.”

Aleks clears his throat and looks down to his laptop. “What’s up?”

Brett walks to Aleks and places his card right on top Aleks’ laptop. “I had a long day, I’m heading in early,” he says. “Get some food on my card.”

Aleks takes the card and looks it over, turning it back and forth, and when he looks up, he notices that Brett is already ascending up the stairs. He blinks a few times before sitting up on his knees and sliding his laptop to the side. “Dude, hold up, you need to eat something-”

“M’fine,” Brett tells him. “I just wanna pass out. Night.”

With a frown, Aleks settles back down on the couch. “Good night,” he mumbles softly before he looks back to Brett’s card.

They say free food or that food you didn’t pay for always tastes better, but Aleks can’t really get excited about that. Not when Brett’s away.

Slowly, he looks up from the card to scan over the general vicinity of their home.

_ Brett’s home. _

It’s still a decent sized place for 2 people, maybe a bit on the small side but Aleks grew to like the fact that it’s on the small side. It meant more opportunities for him and Brett to squeeze in close together, it meant a better chance of drowning in Brett’s senses that much more, and Aleks can’t really see himself ever living alone again because that’d be too big of a space.

Too big and _ lonely _ of a space.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where Aleks lives, just as long as he’s with the love of his life. Because home isn’t a place, not to Aleks, home is a feeling and… well, Brett’s exactly what that feeling is.

So when they’re apart like this, it makes this _ house _feel too big and lonely.

It can’t be a home if he can’t_ be _with his home.

Aleks knows that going slow is the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t extremely hard on him too.

* * *

**December 15th, 2017**

Aleks had already thought of the perfect Christmas gift for Brett before he made the right decision to slow things down. Giving it to him can still hold potential awkwardness, but Aleks wants to think it could set their relationship on the right path again.

That is, if it doesn’t resolve itself by Christmas.

Though Aleks was sort of hoping it’d resolve already, but he should know that life in 2017 hasn’t worked out the way he’s wanted.

Aleks runs his fingers along a dark gold picture frame that’s emboldened with brighter gold stars all around. It’d be the perfect thing to give to somebody who_ is _his stars, even if his stars are light years upon light years away from him.

His eyes center on the stock photo of a married couple in the frame, a woman with blonde hair and dark brown eyes being held in the strong looking arms of a man with a nice beard on him, and Aleks knows that it’s staged but they look genuinely happy together.

The perennial ache of their uncertain future ripples through the surface of Aleks’ consciousness in the moment he takes the frame, with shaky hands, to place in the seat of his red cart.

Aleks was never too sure what their future would hold together, but he was always sure that they’d continue to be together in some way. Whether they’re friends who don’t fuck, or friends who do fuck, but then he realized he was in love with Brett and the only future he’s thinking of now is one where they continue to be together.

Anything that puts an obstacle in that path is hard, even if it’s an obstacle Aleks placed themselves.

He exits the aisles to enter some others, placing miscellaneous things in the cart when they grab his interest but there manages to be something in every aisle, ever since Aleks came into the store, that reminds Aleks of Brett.

It’s the cinnamon vanilla shampoo.

It’s the Snickers.

It’s the boxset of The Office.

It’s the funny hats.

It’s the snowglobes.

And then, right there in the Housewares section, are succulents.

If Aleks was rich, he’d buy every single thing that reminds him of Brett, but _ especially _those succulents.

He’d buy them and give them to Brett while telling Brett that he knows how hard this is on him, and that it’s hard on him too, and then Brett would scoff and tell Aleks that he can’t buy him back and that it was Aleks’ own decision and it’d be petty, it’d be defensive, but that’s Brett and that’s why Aleks is so in love with him.

He’s in love with Brett even when Brett is doing boneheaded things, and vice versa.

A lump is forming in Aleks’ throat but he tries his best to swallow it down and pretend it’s not there.

He might not be able to buy Brett an entire section of succulents, but he can at least tell Brett that he really did think he was doing something right for the relationship.

He still thinks that.

Aleks takes a step back and takes out his phone to snap a picture of all the succulents before opening Brett’s contact, and looking at their purely professional text messages back and forth hits Aleks in a way he wasn’t expecting but he still goes through with sending the picture anyways.

**[Himself]** I’m gonna buy you ALL OF THIS.

He decides to place one succulent in his cart, one with a white flower bud, and it’s when he reaches the self scan that Brett actually texts him back.

**[Brett]** Ha, you can’t buy my love.

Yeah. That’s about what Aleks was expecting, and he doesn’t even fucking know why he sent that message to Brett, like everything is okay-

**[Brett]** Appreciate the gesture though. Appreciate you.

Well. It’s not much.

Not much at all.

But it gives Aleks some hope that soon, everything will be okay again.

He just wishes it could be okay now.

* * *

**December 18th, 2017**

Brett hasn’t been able to get a good night sleep since it happened.

It’s been countless nights of tossing and turning and he’s pretty sure that his teeth is grinding against each other through his mouth guard at this point. There’s much anxiety that comes with not knowing the certain details of your future with the love of your life, if a future is even still on the horizon.

So sometimes in the middle of the night, after hours of trying his best to force himself to sleep, he’ll take his phone and look through all the pictures and videos of him and Aleks.

The selfie of them kissing the morning before PAX West.

The video of them drunkenly proclaiming their love for each other in a club, which ends up hurting Brett more than helping as it reminds him why they are where they are with each other now.

The random pictures of Aleks sitting next to him in the warehouse acting all kinds of silly, but more importantly, all kinds of _ himself. _

The selfie of them in the middle of their hike through Eaton Canyon.

The selfie of them laying together on a blanket in the middle of the Hermon Dog park.

It’s not all of them, but those are the ones that stand out the most to Brett. They tug at his heartstrings a bit more than the others, some in ways he knows and some that he doesn’t, but either way, every single one pulls and pulls at his heartstrings and Brett’s hoping it’ll pull enough that it’ll exhaust him and he can finally sleep.

“Hey, Brett?”

His name is said in the most quiet and unsure tone, and despite everything, Brett’s first instinct is to worry.

Brett’s setting his phone over on the nightstand and he turns onto his other side to see Aleks standing at his doorway, wearing boxers but also wearing that black shirt he stole from that prior summer. He’s got his fingers wringed in the hem of it and the slightest downturn of his lips clues Brett in that the unsure quality in his tone was not a mistake.

“Hey,” he greets. “What’s wrong?”

Aleks slowly swipes out his tongue along his lips. He takes in a deep breath before admitting, “I can’t sleep.”

Brett wants to ask Aleks if he wants to sleep with him, but they’re supposed to take it slow and so that makes the interactions he wants with Aleks confusing.

It’s why they haven’t really done anything together this month, it’s what Brett tells himself and he wants to think it’s not just him who thinks so. The instinct with Aleks is to go for the romance and the sex, but then he remembers and it sort of leads to awkward interactions that don’t feel natural at all.

It’s not the first time Brett’s had to take it slow with anyone. He knows all about how that works, but it’s never been so hard as it has with Aleks.

He never realized how wrong it would be to live any kind of life without Aleks at all.

Brett is proven correct when Aleks asks, in that same quiet and unsure tone, “can I sleep with you tonight?”

There’s a beat of silence afterwards, but it arises from genuine surprise. In no way at all is it a hesitation, because Brett will never hesitate to give Aleks what he wants.

Not anymore.

“Yeah, of course.” Brett nods and pulls up the other side of his covers. “C’mere.”

Aleks is immediately shuffling over to slide under the covers in a manner he took before this all happened. The way he does it is natural, even if he does end up sleeping apart from him.

They’re sharing the same bed tonight. Brett will take these victories when he can.

No words are uttered after Aleks joins him. No words or even a look, but the both of them are so tired after not being able to have a good night sleep that the moment their heads hit the pillows again, they’re out like a light.

Brett and Aleks fall asleep facing each other. They both have an arm outstretched, and the tips of their fingers are a sliver away from contact, so close and yet still so far.

There is, however, one thought that crosses the both of their minds before they enter the realm of sleep.

_ It’s only up from here, isn’t it? _


	40. L.O.V.E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story is coming to a close as Brett and Aleks head off to that romantic getaway in Colorado with each other, but how is that going to play out when they're supposed to be on a break?
> 
> Well...

**December 21st, 2017**

In a world where everyone, constructed by mythical wireframe, sleep and breathe in binary code, love is the only real thing that permeates through the digital fibers.

If love had to be summed up in one word, it’d be _ magical. _

Love turns the whole world around. It showcases the emptiness in the freedom of being alone and brings to light the liberty of being caught in love’s most divine spell.

Love is the key that opens the door to one’s soul. The soul can be touched with gentle hands and be made anew, a body reborn into its most perfect form that can only be reached with the help of one other soul that perfectly intertwines with yours. In creating your perfect form, it creates the perfect form for the other. In turn, they become one.

One soul comprised of two souls at the pinnacle of perfection. _ Soulmates. _

With this, comes a deep gratitude - a sense that what is given is sacred, transient, and can pass through time into eternal cycles of living. In this eternal time, everyone strives to reach some kind of balance, to achieve an equilibrium in complexity. By putting all their time and effort into finding that other soul to meld with theirs, the complex actions and near impossible feat is rewarded with lifetime happiness and the answers to the rest of life’s complexities.

One can wonder why they feel a certain way when someone smiles, like everything is right in the world. They wonder why the warmth of that person’s touch seems like nothing can hurt them. The simplest action of wrinkled eyes after a laughing fit is enough to make them envision all the possibilities in which the two of them can_ be _ and the notion of being away from them, for even a second, makes the heart throbbingly ache.

All of that arises from the spell of love, the one phenomena of earth that can bypass all sorts of logic and reasoning.

If that’s not magic, then what is?

Perhaps a miracle. That is, of course, magic in its most elevated form.

Brett thinks it’s a miracle that Aleks hasn’t straight up moved out yet.

He wouldn’t blame him either.

Brett hasn’t made this easy on Aleks. Though he’s been trying his best to work on himself and those destructive behaviors of, he still can’t help but let all of the business of slowing things down get to him. It’s dramatic, and he knows being dramatic is something he needs to work on too, but Aleks is the best fucking thing that’s happened to him.

Isn’t it logical to worry about losing that?

Their relationship has gradually been getting better, however. Aleks has slept in his bed a couple of times since coming into Brett’s room that late at night with the complaint that he couldn’t sleep, but they still sleep on opposite sides, they still don’t touch.

He knows he should be grateful that they’re getting somewhere, even if it’s slow. It’s better than nothing at all, but Brett wants it all with Aleks.

How long is it going to be until Aleks can give him it all again? If he ever does? What if more time passes and Aleks eventually realizes that he can do a lot better than Brett? That he can do a lot better than somebody who’s danced around the sun and the moon with his feelings for Aleks and then get upset with Aleks for doing the same thing?

Aleks deserves better, and Brett isn’t sure if he can do anything to earn him back, along with the magic they had.

It’s the last day in the warehouse before everybody heads off for the holidays. It’s an easygoing day and everybody is just finishing up some last minute edits and backing everything up before they tell everyone _ goodbye. _

Until 2018, at least.

They’re in the middle of filming an intro for a basic _ Best Of _video for the 2017 year, and honestly, how did it already get to this point? It feels like just yesterday they were back at that barnhouse in Colorado and Aleks was freaking out over needing a place to stay in LA.

Somehow, that all turned into this.

It all turned into this complicated relationship that Brett is still longing to see the light at the end of the tunnel for.

“No, the house was 2016,” Aleks argues. “We were in a barn 2017.”

“Aren’t there clips from the house in 2017?” Trevor wonders aloud. “Didn’t we stay for like, a few weeks?”

“We had the Pepper Spray thing right before the barn,” Brett says. “Trevor’s right-”

“It’s weird how all that happened this year,” James says as he goes to look up their Pepper Spray Gauntlet videos to confirm. “Y’all feel like way too much shit happened this year?”

“Tell me about it,” Brett mumbles.

Aleks looks over to Brett and bites at his lip. His hands drum incessantly against his thighs before he takes a deep breath and looks back to his monitor, and he’s aimlessly moving his mouse around to look busy while he listens to everyone.

The argument doesn’t last long though - Trevor was right. The house_ was _ part of 2017, albeit for a very, very short time.

“Why are you guys still watching this?” Brett says as he looks into the camera that is, unfortunately, being held by Asher. “Just watch these clips.” He smiles for a few moments, giving whoever is editing this time to successfully cut it, before his smile falls and his hands can shove into his pockets. “Alright, I’m answering emails and then I’m heading out.”

Brett is thankful that nobody tries to keep a conversation with him as he returns to his office. Everybody else just wants to get their shit done as quick as they can, and talking to somebody when they’re not filming a bit is only going to impede progress. It’s not rude, it’s not toxic, it’s just people trying to get their work done - just the way Brett likes it.

He wades through his mess of a floor to get back to his chair and plops a seat down. As he’s reaching for his headphones, he hears his office doors opening and he can’t help the quiet whine that leaves his mouth when he hears it.

“What’s wrooong?” Brett whines and begins to look over. “I’m - oh.”

Aleks sort of presses his lips together, in the way that white people do when they see someone they know in public but don’t really want to talk. “Hi.”

“If it’s you, it’s different,” Brett tries to placate with a smile that’s actually genuine. “What did you-”

“Are we okay?”

Brett blinks a few times in bewilderment, because he just heard himself ask _ are we okay? _ but it’s somehow said in Aleks’ voice and then when he remembers the reality he’s in, when he plays it back through his head once more, he realizes it’s because it’s _ Aleks _ who asked that.

“You’re the one asking if we’re okay?” Brett chuckles in surprise and raises his eyebrows.

Aleks runs his teeth along his bottom lip. “Why does that sound funny?”

“No, I-” Brett sighs and shakes his head. “It’s not. I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant… I mean it because I’m the one that should be asking, not you.”

Aleks sort of frowns and crosses his arms over his chest.

Brett gives Aleks time to reply back, maybe even argue with Brett and call him out for _ something, _ but he just stays silent. He’s looking away from Brett too, and it makes Brett think that maybe Aleks does kind of have a right to ask if they’re okay after all.

_ Even though he’s the one that wanted to take it slow so it’s - _ ** _ stop._ ** _ You can’t be like that with him. _

Aleks wouldn’t have took it slow if Brett didn’t decide to make a big deal out of it. This falls squarely on Brett’s shoulders.

His big, broad shoulders that Aleks likes so much, but it means nothing if Aleks doesn't like him.

Brett’s the one frowning now, and he turns in his chair to better face the younger man. “Hey, come here,” he says quietly.

Aleks looks up to Brett in almost a shy way, and his hands rub up and down his own arms for some much needed warmth as he heads towards Brett.

Brett spreads out his legs a bit more and when Aleks is close enough, he brings up his hands to frame Aleks’ face. His thumbs brush back and forth along Aleks’ cheeks and Aleks closes his eyes when he feels that warmth he was needing so desperately.

The same kind of warmth fills Brett too.

His eyes roam over Aleks’ face the way they always do when he has Aleks in his hands like this, and just like every other time, his and Aleks’ eyes find each other. Despite the red hue of the lights tainting the room, Brett has looked into Aleks’ eyes so many times that he can see Aleks’ pupils, he knows where the specks of gold throughout his brown color is, and it’s still an exquisite beauty, only now it’s shrouded in red lights.

Brett doesn’t think that’s ever going to change. Even if Aleks decides he deserves better, and Brett would understand, he’s always going to think the world of Aleks and all of his beauty.

“We’re fine,” Brett assures him.

And then…

“Do _ you _ think we’re fine?” Brett goes on to ask.

“Y-Yeah,” Aleks says quietly. “It’s just… it’s been so different lately between us. I knew it was going to be different with what I said we should do, but I wasn’t prepared for how much.”

Brett thinks about telling Aleks that if he wasn’t going to be prepared, he shouldn’t have said they should take it slow, and it’s yet another thought he scolds himself over.

Everybody always has that first thought they don’t agree with. It’s the thoughts that have been conditioned into them through their life, thoughts that have been nurtured through their way of life and just how their personality ends up forming, but it’s the thoughts afterwards that show true character.

Brett’s immediate thought after scolding himself, is that he hates to see Aleks go through anything less than ideal.

“It’ll be better on our Colorado trip?” Brett raises his eyebrows, trying to offer Aleks some solace.

“You still wanna go?”

“Do you _ not _ wanna go?”

“No, I do!” Aleks immediately answers. “Again, it’s just… things have been different, and it’s a really romantic getaway and we haven’t really been too romantic with each other and we haven’t done anything together so what if it’s weird?”

He wants to tell Aleks that no, it won’t be weird. It won’t be weird at all to go on a romantic getaway, full of romantic things and gestures, when they’re pretty much taking a break from each other. It’ll be totally fine and they’re just worrying over nothing.

Obviously, Brett can’t tell him that. Aleks knows that Brett knows it’s bullshit.

“We’ll just see what happens,” Brett decides to tell him, in a tone more strained than he wants. “We might feel differently when we go.”

“Yeah,” Aleks says quietly. “I hope so.”

It’s good that Aleks wants things to be as they were before this all happened. He has hope for it, and it shows that he has hope for _ them. _

It still doesn’t change the fact that hope is different from those gut feelings. You can’t control how you feel for someone, and it’s very possible that despite all the hope in the world, Aleks might just stop loving him because of all this.

Brett isn’t going to know until their getaway.

It’s going to kill him.

* * *

**Rewind: September 1st, 2013**

It’s Aleks’ 21st birthday and he’s spending it in the best place in the world.

_ Los Angeles. _

It’s where everybody goes if they really want to make it big. Los Angeles is the land of opportunity and Aleks hopes to make that his final destination for his YouTube career.

He sort of wants to be just like Brett. Brett’s living in Los Angeles, he’s doing awesome with all his Machinima stuff, he’s living in Los Angeles, he has a hot girlfriend, he’s living in Los Angeles, did he mention that Brett is living in Los Angeles?! Brett is basically the living embodiment of his dreams come true!

Aleks isn’t crushing on Brett anymore, but he still kind of worships the ground he walks in. Just not in like, an obvious way. He hopes it’s not obvious, but it’s been a long night of drinking for him now that he can do it legally and Brett’s the one that safely had to take him back to the hotel.

What is Aleks doing in Los Angeles? Some Machinima stuff or whatever. Details aren’t important, all that matters is that he’s here with Brett and Brett has his arm around his shoulder and he’s_ warm. _

“I remember my 21st,” Brett tells him with a sigh as he sits Aleks on the couch in the hotel lobby. “Pretty much went the same as yours.”

“When was that?” Aleks furrows his eyebrows together as he sprawls himself out on the couch, his arms crossed under his head. “1812?”

Brett snorts. “Hey, who’s the one that got you back to your hotel safe and sound?”

“Why didn’t we go back to your place? Why did it have to be my hotel?”

“Because you’d _ totally _ try to seduce me once you got me alone. It’d be a real embarrassing story for you when you wake up the next day.”

Aleks looks off the other way and a blush tinges his cheeks. “I’d never,” he says quietly. “I know better than to try shit with a straight guy.”

He’s still embarrassed about his crush on Brett. They’re actually good friends now so to think about all the times he’s sexualized Brett before, thinking about all the ways Brett can pin him down and pull his hair, it feels like an invasion of his boundaries now that he actually _ knows _ Brett.

It’s weird to be friends with somebody you have platonic admiration for. The rose colored glasses come off and you see them as people and less like the gods put on pedestals in your head, and Brett has shown that he isn’t this perfect guy like Aleks previously thought, but then that makes him easier to talk to.

He’s just like anyone else. He has his flaws, Aleks has his, and they’re both regular people.

“Hey, if I was into guys? You’d probably be the first dude I’d try shit with.” Brett shrugs. 

Aleks’ eyes widen and he immediately sits up on the couch. “You mean it?”

“Maybe.” Brett grins. “But we’ll never find out.”

Aleks huffs and looks up to the ceiling. “Yeah, guess not,” he mumbles.

Even though he’s not into Brett, it’s still kind of a shame to hear. Brett’s exactly the type of guy he looks for, though he does like his guys a bit bigger than him. Not that Brett doesn’t look good, and he has a bit of muscle, but he’s not super beefy.

Not yet. He knows Brett’s trying his best to work out more.

“So what are you looking for in a guy?” Brett asks. “What’s your type?”

“Big,” Aleks says with a resounding nod. “Yeah. Big and strong. And big beards.” He nods again. “Big guy, big beard-”

“Big dick?”

Aleks giggles and runs a hand back through his hair before he looks down to the floor. “Uhhh, yeah, something like that.”

If he’s going to be with a man, then he wants to be with a _ man _. He wants the stereotypical lumberjack build, he wants whatever the fuck is associated with manliness, and maybe it sort of has to do with the fact that he has naturally feminine features, so this would make him more manly by association, but Aleks doesn’t know the psychologicals of it and he probably never will.

All he knows for certain is that lumberjack men are incredibly hot, and they have been ever since he was 13 and couldn’t tear his eyes away from his friend’s dad, in a flannel and jeans, chopping up wood in the backyard for the fireplace.

Brett chuckles. “You’re consistent. Consistency is key.” He nods and looks out towards the doors. “You’ll find that guy some day. Or girl. You have a lot of opportunities.”

“And Los Angeles is the land of opportunity,” Aleks gives a long sigh and spreads out his arms along the back of the couch. “Can’t wait to be here.”

“It’d be cool if you were here,” Brett tells him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, seriously.” Brett smiles. “Listen, I don’t wanna sound like a creepy old guy, but I don’t really hang out with people your age that much. But you’re cool as fuck, Aleks. And you’re funny as fuck. If you lived here, it’d be _ awesome _ as fuck.”

There’s definitely a sex joke in there somewhere with all the fucks that Brett is giving but Aleks is too drunk to think of… ooh, with all the fucks Brett is giving, how about he gives Aleks one? Haha! Awesome!

Maybe some world where he’s into guys, they’ll fuck. It’d be nice to live in that world and see what it’s like.

But being Brett’s friend is super fine too. Aleks wasn’t expecting them to get that far with each other.

“Could I live with you?” Aleks raises his eyebrows over at Brett. “Dude’s paradise, you know what I’m sayin’?”

“What if I get big and strong and get a big beard?” Brett narrows his eyes questioningly. “You might not be able to contain yourself.”

Aleks rolls his eyes and holds up a hand. “I, Aleks Marchant, swear to Brett Hundley, that I won’t go after his dick if he gets big and strong and gets a big beard.”

Brett giggles and reaches out to take Aleks’ hand, but only to push it back down. “Well, we don’t have a book to swear on, but I can take your word. You never know though,” Brett begins to stand up from the couch and pats down his jeans, “I could realize I’m into guys at some point, we’ll end up fucking, and then we’ll fall in love. They say sexuality is fluid. Or, Joel says that anyways, but I think there’s truth to it.”

A spark prickles Aleks’ nerves when Brett touches him, but then there’s always sparks when Brett touches him. He gets sparks when any hot guy or girl touches him. Doesn’t everybody get like that? Primal instincts or whatever.

“Are you trying to give me false hope?” Aleks sighs.

“You say that like you _want_ to sleep with me.”

“What?! No, dude!” Aleks forces out a laugh and makes it onto his feet, but he stumbles as he does so - thankfully, Brett is grabbing at his arms to steady him. “Just teasin’, man.”

“I know, relax,” Brett chuckles and puts Aleks’ arm above his before he begins to walk them to the elevators. “C’mon, let’s get you to your bed…”

Aleks remembers nothing about that drunk night.

All he remembers is that Brett was there for him.

Brett was there to take him home...

“Brett?”

“Mhm?”

“Are we gonna still be friends in a few years?”

“Of course.”

“What about in a lot of years?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Aleks blinks and frowns. He brings up a free hand to clutch onto Brett’s shirt, and he says, “I jus’ really want you in my life, dude.”

Brett stares ahead at the elevator. It dings with each floor that comes down, and there’s a lot of floors, but it gives Brett a lot of time to think. Aleks is drunk, and probably won’t remember any of what they talked about in the morning, but he still wants to find the right words to tell him that everything is fine besides the generic _ everything is fine. _

“I want you in mine,” he says quietly. Then he looks over to Aleks. “Want me to stay with you tonight?”

Aleks smiles and closes his eyes before pressing his face into Brett’s shoulder. “Yeah, dude,” he mumbles. “That’d be chill. Don’t want you to leave.”

“Don’t worry,” Brett says. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“I ain’t leaving you either.”

… and Brett was there when he woke up as well.

* * *

**December 23rd, 2017**

It’s just hit midnight to turn into December 23rd, and Brett and Aleks are gathering the last of their things to shove into Brett’s car before they make the long drive to Colorado.

They’re going back to where it all started.

Truth be told, Brett really liked Colorado.

You’re always going to have a fondness for your hometown despite all the misgivings and misfortunes it might have. Colorado was the start of many firsts for Brett, and he thinks he would’ve stayed in Colorado if Los Angeles didn’t have all these opportunities for his film career.

He just fell into the YouTube thing. It was a total accident.

Before YouTube, Brett did a lot of gigs with Matt. He’d be an extra on a TV show or a plant in the audience, hoping to make his big break but the gigs would slow down and suddenly he found himself unemployed and playing Warcraft all day.

Thankfully, that affinity for the World of Warcraft turned into his hosting job for Machinima, and it’s been steady employment since.

It didn’t bring him the opportunities he thought it did.

Brett came to Los Angeles with these high expectations. He’d go to Hollywood, he’d get a steady role in some TV show, and then there’d be two famous Brett Hundley’s.

But he didn’t get that steady role on some TV show, and Hollywood is a gross cesspool that Brett was disappointed by the moment he stepped onto the Walk of Fame. His perceptions were shattered, but he was going to make the best out of Los Angeles and he was going to make it his home.

Life doesn’t always work out the way you think, and Brett knows way too much about it.

So yeah, he’s looking forward to being back in Colorado. He just wishes he and Aleks were on better, much more certain circumstances with each other so he could fully enjoy it instead of constantly wondering if maybe this exact moment could be the moment Aleks calls it quits for good.

Aleks grabs his luggage to stow it into the trunk but Brett is quickly stepping over. “Here, lemme do it,” he offers quietly as he takes the luggage from Aleks’ hands.

Aleks watches Brett put it away with ease and then he looks off to the side. “That’s the last of it,” he says. “I can drive the first half of the way.”

Brett scoffs. “No, I’ll do it. You should get more sleep-”

“I’m wide awake.” Aleks holds out a hand and gives Brett a pointed look. “Keys?”  
  
With a huff through his nose, Brett reaches into the pockets of his sweatpants to toss Aleks the keys without another word. The both of them then proceed to make it into their seats, driver’s for Aleks and passenger’s for Brett, and as Aleks readies the car, Brett takes those few moments to look him over and think about how far they’ve come.

He wasn’t expecting them to end up like this at all.

He wasn’t expecting their friendship to become this incredibly complicated guessing game, that Brett now realizes all started with him. If only he had been direct with Aleks instead of putting forth mind games, they wouldn’t be uncertain with each other. Even if the mind games were unintentional, born out of a need to preserve his own feelings and lower the risk of being hurt, they still happened.

Brett always thought it was Aleks making him wait, that Aleks wasn’t the one giving him the entire world. Except it was all Brett’s doing.

Brett himself was the obstacle. He was his own worst enemy, as is true for all walks of life. You’re the one person that knows best how to get inside your own head and perform all the necessary mental gymnastics to make you believe one thing over the other, no matter how delusional or silly.

A small frown pulls at the corner of Brett’s lips and he bites at them to hide it before he looks out his window into the Los Angeles night.

What is currently ocean breezes and comforting warmth will turn into falling snow and shivering chills hours from now, and yet these two opposite things can still bring great comfort to all groups of people. Sitting at the beach is replaced with sitting by the fireplace and romantic walks on the pier are replaced with romantic walks that end in snow touched kisses.

They do little to affect their daily routine. What affects their daily routine are their feelings towards each other, which continue to be uncertain despite the pretenses of their romantic getaway.

“Brett?”

Brett raises his eyebrows and turns his head to look at Aleks. “Hmm?”

“You ready?”

He blinks a few times before finally giving a nod. “Yeah, let’s head out.”

Aleks worries his bottom lip and looks out the windshield. “You wanna stop somewhere before we head onto the highway? We can head by a McDonald’s or something.”

Brett shakes his head. “Nah, I’m not hungry.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, let me know if you want me to pull over and stop somewhere.”

“Yeah, bro, for sure.”

Aleks gives a weird grin. _ “Bro,” _ he repeats. “Do bros fuck each other like we do?”

Brett huffs a chuckle. “Well, we haven’t really fucked in almost a month, sooo…”

The weird grin falls then as Aleks’ lips press into a line. “I always wanna fuck you,” he says, “but I’m not sure how to bring it up considering we’re supposed to take it slow.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brett murmurs. “I’m just saying, it’s a fact we haven’t fucked in almost a month.”

“I was just trying to make a joke. It wasn’t that serious.”

“I know you were.” Brett sits up in his seat and reaches into his sweatpants for his wallet. “You know what, McDonald’s would be good. I’ll buy. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t miss fucking Aleks, at least he doesn’t miss it like most people would miss sex.

A release of pleasure, sure. Sex is always good for that, but their sex had meant more in the past couple months, and Brett suspects that their sex had a lot more meaning even before that.

It had brought them closer together. It was an easy way to bond them, to get them together under warm covers to then discuss the deep meaning of the entire fundamental concept that is_ life. _ Come to find out for Brett, his life is Aleks.

In the endless degrees and variations of universes to explore, where one little thing can change the entirety of the world as a whole, Brett happened to find himself in one with Aleks in which they are closer than anyone else.

It’s not a world where they’re just close friends and it’s all they’ll ever be. It’s not a world where they’re happily dating other people or planning for a life independent of the other.

It’s a world where they rely on each other. Despite everything that’s happened between them, Brett doesn’t want to free himself from the world he’s been put in. This is the only world, out of all the ones continuously transformed by unceasing interactions of internal and external forces, that he knows.

This is the only world he _ needs _ to know.

Aleks rolls his eyes a little before he pulls the car out of the driveway. “Okay, _ bro.” _

Off they go; full speed, no trace, into the endless night ahead, and unknowingly never stopping until the blissful sunrise makes its presence again.

* * *

Los Angeles was once a city Brett knew as home, but ever since the uncertainty with Aleks has started, it’s felt more like teetering on the edge of oblivion.

They haven’t talked a whole lot since ordering their McDonald’s, and that was 6 hours ago. Brett had asked Aleks why he wasn’t being so talkative, and Aleks had said he was _ just tired. _

Brett knows what that statement really means. However, an argument with Aleks is the last thing he wants right now, so he just bit his lip and offered to take the wheel for him.

That rewarded Brett with a peck on the cheek as they exited the car to switch seats. The saying,_ “pick your battles”, _ never hit Brett so hard until that little moment. It should then reward him with further bliss, a window of time for him to realize that things between him and Aleks are fine and he’s simply overreacting, but it never is that simple.

He’d like something more powerful to hit him, like the surge of white-hot atonement that can only be satisfied by a whole baptism by nuclear fire.

Somehow, through the falling nuclear bombs and rushing fire, he still thinks Aleks would be the focus. Perhaps he’s hopeless at this point.

The hot air of LA is no more, and the more they drive into Utah, the colder it becomes. In fact, it’s cold enough that it’s snowing, and rather heavily. It’s a bit hard to make out anything in the snow, but keeping on the windshield wipers and the lights does its job enough for them to keep driving.

Brett keeps desperately looking for exits, to a motel or something so they can wait out the storm instead of taking their chances. The radio is, miraculously, still playing, though only some words stay legible amongst the frequent static.

**[ ♪ ] ** ** _Elvis Presley - Can’t Help Falling In Love_ **

_ “Wise men say… only fools rush in…” _

This has to be some sort of cosmically sick joke.

It’d be easy to turn off the radio, so the song that Brett considers to be _ their _song, doesn’t proceed to make him viscerally uncomfortable.

There’s no subtle way to do it, however. It’s obvious to both him and Aleks the significance this song holds, so to turn it off would almost be like turning off their relationship for good.

So Brett lets it keep playing.

He lets each lyric bring back a memory from his and Aleks’ history together in this year.

_ “But I can’t help… falling in love with you…” _

_ “I mean,” Aleks chuckles, “do you like it? Do you love it?” Aleks blinks a few times and tilts his head on Brett’s shoulder. He looks up into Brett’s eyes with a bright smile and after another chuckle, he says, “come on, say something.” _

_ “I… I uh…” Brett swallows and looks back down to Aleks’ phone with a deep breath. “Hold on, let me get another look.” _

_ “... you’re super fucking quiet,” Aleks points. “Why are-” _

_ “I’m in love with it,” Brett whispers without taking his eyes away. “I really am.” _

Brett could promise to hold Aleks and to cherish him.

_ “Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help… falling in love with you...” _

_ “You love me?” Brett looks down between them to watch himself pull out to the tip. “How much?” _

_ “Daddy, please,” Aleks whines and claws at Brett’s bicep with his nails. “I-I love you so much, more than anything, now _ ** _please,_ ** _ fuck me-” _

_ Brett chuckles lowly before he slams back inside with a loud moan. “Fuck yeah, whatever my angel wants.” The sound of their skin is slapping together with his brutal thrusts again, and mixes well with the alluring notes from Aleks’ cries. “Whatever you _ ** _fucking_ ** _ want, Aleks.” _

_ “Y-You love me, daddy?” Aleks gasps. “Do you?” _

_ “Love you forever, Aleks,” Brett tells him. _

Brett could promise to be there in sickness and in health.

_ “Like a river flows! Surely to the sea! Darling, so it goes! Some things… are meant to be…” _

_ “Brett, I can’t argue with you over the fact that all this happened because I moved in with you, but moving in with you just made all of this happen a lot quicker. You’d still be into guys, guys like me, I’d still be into guys like you, and we would have found a way to each other eventually. Maybe we wouldn’t be as deep into this thing that we are,” Aleks chuckles and looks into the water, “we wouldn’t be having deep talks or fucking all night, but we’d be doing something with each other. Me and you, Brett, I think we’re...” _

_ “We’re what?” Brett asks. _

_ Aleks sighs and presses his lips together. “Brett, I just think we’re… tied to each other. And I think we’re tied in a way that we’d just be worse off without each other.” _

Brett can even say, til death do him and Aleks part.

_ “Take my hand…” _

_ Brett reaches forward to grab Aleks’ hand and he intertwines their fingers to give their hands a squeeze. “You’re pretty unique yourself, Mr. Marchant,” he says with a smile as he looks up into Aleks’ eyes. “You know what I… what I like about you?” Brett asks. _

_ “Do tell, Mr. Hundley.” _

_ “You’re this big presence,” Brett says. “You walk into a room now, all eyes are on you. Everywhere you go, you carry this energy with you and I know what I’m saying right now sounds crazy, but you really do. Even though you’re all laid back and casual, you don’t need to do anything for attention because… it just naturally comes to you. In a dark room, you’d be glowing, constantly, while all the other lights work overtime just to flash for... even a second.” _

_ Upon the mention of lights, Brett looks up to survey all the lights that help to bring this rustic dining area to life. “Right now, Aleks? There’s so many lights here, and they all light up bright but you’re the brightest one here. You’re the one that’s bringing life and color to everything around us and you don’t even need to do anything but be you,” Brett tells Aleks as he drops his gaze to look all over him, and he takes in a deep breath before adding, “and you’re the best thing that anybody can be.” _

But those promises are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope.

_ “Take my whole life too…” _

_ “That’s all really sweet,” Aleks tells him. “Like, super sweet,” he chuckles. “It’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever told me and…” Aleks bites at his lips and taps his foot against Brett's a few times in quick reflection. “I’m always gonna remember that, every single word, but I don’t think the light I bring, that you think I bring, is because of me.” _

_ “What other reason is there?” _

_ “Maybe I glow so brightly in the dark because of you,” Aleks reasons. “You’re like a lightswitch and when you enter a room that I’m in,” Aleks snaps his fingers, “I turn on, just like that.” _

_ “You’re uh, really giving me a lot of power here.” _

_ “I know what I’m saying, for once,” Aleks says. “And I know what I mean when I say it.” _

_ Aleks squeezes their hands and it squeezes away a breath from Brett’s lips. _

_ “I’m the light,” Aleks says, “but Brett, you’re the thing that powers the light and without you, I can’t bring all that life and color. It’s a two person job but…” He swallows and looks down to Brett’s lips as his own widen into a beaming smile. “I think we’re the two best people for it. And nobody else comes close.” _

And Brett does not sit here right now, optimistic or full of hope.

_ “For I can’t... falling… you...” _

The music fizzles into complete static right as Brett manages to find an exit towards the way of some motels, which he’s instantly taking.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Aleks, who sighs and asks, “we’re staying in a motel for a few hours, are we?”

“You wanna drive and brave the snow, be my guest. I don’t want us to get killed.”

“I was just asking, Brett, I wasn’t disagreeing. Chill.”

Brett’s prepared for Aleks to giggle at himself right there, because he told Brett to _ chill _and it’s obviously snowing outside and it’s such an easy fucking pun, but Aleks is just sat there, his arms crossed over his chest.

His heart continues to ache. This whole fucking trip has just been constant natural 1’s on a d20 die, when he’s always rolled pretty high before this month hit.

_ Pick your battles. _

Brett swallows heavily and bites at his lip.

He’s also always said that when things go wrong, he sings along. It means that he tries to find the positive in a situation, but that becomes hard to do when people keep punching you in the gut during the middle of it.

“We’re just staying for a few hours until things relax,” Brett says quietly. “And then we’ll head back out.”

“Alright.”

Brett continues down the road before making a right into the parking lot of Bryce Canyon Motel. The lot is filled with cars but one car must’ve left recently because they luckily find a spot near the offices. After putting his car into park, he shoves his keys into the pockets of his sweats and then sits up on his knees before turning and leaning over into the backseat. “I’m getting you my coat.”

Aleks watches Brett with furrowed eyebrows. “Uh, I got my hoodie on. I think you need it more.”

“It’s cool bro, I’ll be fine in my jacket.” Brett unzips his luggage enough and feels around the inside for his camo coat and once he feels the material, he snags it and then tosses it to Aleks. “Put that on.”

Aleks opens his mouth to argue, but decides against it. He presses his lips together as he takes the coat from Brett to slip on over his frame, and after zipping it up, he keeps his arms huddled to himself.

Brett blows out a breath and looks out at the white snowfall. The snow has still covered a good amount of the parking lot and have splotches of gray all over from the dirt of previous cars. The snow continues to fall in a seemingly never ending mad dash and the more Brett watches, the more he realizes that they better get inside for some hot shelter soon.

“Okay,” Brett sighs. “You read-”

He’s cut off when he’s hit at the side of his head with something soft. Brett furrows his eyebrows and looks down to see another one of his own coats, a plain black.

“Put that on,” Aleks says firmly.

Brett looks back to Aleks with a bit of a bored look before he rolls his eyes and slips the coat on. “Maybe we should just bring our luggage inside just in case,” he mumbles.

“Not a bad idea.”

_ Nice to see he still cares. _

They both take deep breaths before heading out into the raging snow. It’s a race to open the backdoors, take their luggage from within, before running on up to and inside the offices, where they are then rewarded with a blast of heat.

“You two drive through that alright?” the man at the desk asks. “Good thing you got here.”

Brett chuckles. “Yeah, saw this on the exit sign and hauled ass.”

The man chuckles too and turns the notepad around. “Well, go ahead and sign in and we can get y’all set up. Only uh, only rooms we got available though are our one beds.” He presses his lips together and looks back and forth between the two. “But it’s better than that storm, that’s for sure.”

Oh no.

_ There’s only one bed. _

Brett figured he and Aleks had found himself in some sort of fanfiction, but he didn’t think it’d end up in this cliche.

They’ve always shared one bed before, er, before _ this, _ and they have a couple of times since that one night about a week back, but things have been a bit bristly with them in the car.

At least then, they had an entire home to walk around. They could avoid each other until the end of the night, but they’re stuck in a small room for god knows how many hours.

Brett supposes he can just force himself to sleep and avoid any chance of awkwardness. Perhaps sleep will do him good - and Aleks too. Maybe Aleks wasn’t making up an excuse when he said he was tired earlier. Maybe he _ does _ need a little nap.

It’s fine. They can share a bed. They’ve always been able to share a bed.

Don’t some couples share a bed despite arguments anyways? Not that he and Aleks are a couple. They_ were _ going to be a couple, but then Brett had to go and play those mind games.

It’s not fine.

No. It’s fine. Totally.

_ It’s not fine. No, it’s fine. Tota- _

“Uh, yeah, it’s… fine,” Aleks says. He looks to the man and gives him a polite smile. “How far is it from the office?”

“Oh, just take a right and keep on goin’ and it’ll be the third to last door. Just cleaned it a few hours ago, it’s good as new.”

They both give their thanks to the man, and Brett pays the very reasonable and cheap sum before they head on down. The lights under the awning are lit so they can make their way through with little trouble, even with the snowflakes quickly square dancing under the bulbs. Aleks is ahead of him, so Brett sees how much bigger his coat is on him, just like, well, all of his clothes that Aleks steals.

He still wears them too. Aleks will wear Brett’s shirt or one of Brett’s jackets around the house or when he’s going outside to run some errands and it fills Brett’s heart with warmth every single time, just like the first.

Brett wishes he could hide himself away in that fantasy tonight, that things are fine all because Aleks is wearing his things, but it’s just a habit of his now. It doesn’t mean anything special for them, and he wishes it did.

They step into the motel room, Aleks and then Brett, and Brett does a quick onceover. The walls are plain white and uninspiring with dark green curtains over the one window, and the comforter set that covers the one and only queen bed in the room are splotches of dull reds and greens.

As Aleks props his luggage by the wall, Brett lets his just drop to the floor before he beelines to the bed. “Guess this is our home for the next few hours,” he sighs before plopping right onto his back to look up at the ceiling. “We should get comfortable.”

“I can always take the floor,” Aleks mentions as he walks around to the other side where the nightstand is. “I won’t mind.”

Brett narrows his eyes and raises his head to give Aleks a disbelieving look. “Why would you do that? The bed’s big enough for two people, dude.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

Brett blinks wildly before shaking his head in further disbelief. “Aleks. _ What? _ What the hell do you mean? We’ve…” He chuckles bitterly. “We’ve shared a bed a _ few _ times in the past month, but we’ve basically shared one every single night before that. This isn’t different.”

Aleks bites hard at his lip right as he picks up the Mormon pamphlet from the surface. His thumb rubs back and forth along the paper and his foot gently begins to tap against the floor for a few moments before he says, so quiet but so loud into the silent room, “everything is different now between us.”

Brett’s shoulders fall along with his gaze. His eyes are set on the uninteresting floor, so it’s clear that he’s thinking hard about what to say, because he needs to think hard on what to say to Aleks suddenly laying out the truth of their relationship.

It’s true, and it’s everything Brett has thought for the last month. Everything is different between him and Aleks and it’s not the good kind either, where they’re closer than ever before.

They’re more distant than ever before. It’s the most distant they’ve ever been in the course of their friendship and relationship.

At first, they were 20 feet apart. That was fine though, because it was normal. It was all they ever knew. Then, they began to close the distance - what was 20 feet became 18, then 16, 14, 10, and right before they closed the distance entirely, they went right back to being 20 feet apart.

It was the normal before, but after achieving a new normal with each other, that became the life Brett knew and had grown used to. He had quickly forgotten what it was like before that, and now he remembers and he doesn’t like it.

Brett and Aleks waking up to each other every morning is normal.

Brett and Aleks holding hands is normal.

Brett and Aleks making love is normal.

But it’s Brett’s fault that-

“It’s my fault.”

_ “If it’s you, it’s different,” Brett tries to placate with a smile that’s actually genuine. “What did you-” _

_ “Are we okay?” _

_ Brett blinks a few times in bewilderment, because he just heard himself ask _ ** _ are we okay? _ ** _ but it’s somehow said in Aleks’ voice and then when he remembers the reality he’s in, when he plays it back through his head once more, he realizes it’s because it’s _ ** _ Aleks_ ** _ who asked that. _

“Your fault?” Brett asks quietly. “Why would it be your fault?”

“Everything was fine until I said I wanted to slow things down,” Aleks says with a frown after dropping the pamphlet. “We became so fucking awkward with each other after that. I thought it’d help us, but it’s just made everything weird and it’s my fault it’s like that. I didn’t tell you what would be okay, and what wouldn’t-”

“We had to, Aleks,” Brett assures him. “I was being so petty with you. I was getting so defensive, and I wasn’t talking to you. We had to take it slow-”

“Did we?” Aleks blinks before looking to Brett. “Did we really have to?”

Brett rolls his lips back between his teeth. He thinks it over for a few seconds, but Aleks just keeps going.

“I keep thinking back on it,” Aleks starts as he looks away. “Thinking back in hindsight. I said we were doing it because we couldn’t communicate, but I think it’s just because it was getting so real,” he admits.

Brett quickly looks back to Aleks and raises his eyebrows. “Too _ real? _ You fucking wanted us to date-”

“It was us arguing,” Aleks interrupts before Brett can even get started. “It scared me, Brett. And that’s gonna happen in a relationship, no matter how good things are. There’s a lot of bad that comes with it and… and what if we start dating? We officially date, we become boyfriends and all that, and we can’t handle the bad?” He looks back to Brett, that frown still prominent over his lips. “And then we break up and we can’t even be friends anymore? We act like strangers? I can’t handle that, Brett.” He shakes his head before dropping his gaze. “I just want you to approve of me,” he says in a tone above a whisper. “I want you to be happy with me.”

Brett is tied to Aleks. Those ties help to constitute within Brett his sense of self and without Aleks, that sense of self is totally lost. He doesn’t know who he is or what to do, and it’s when Aleks is being vulnerable with him does Brett come back to terms with that sense of self again.

To expose yourself to another human is the most vulnerable one can be. It’s terrifying, though there is no imminent physical danger. To expose yourself willingly means to give another person complete and total trust, and that’s all Brett understands as he listens to Aleks explain himself and his reasons.

He’s brought back to his sense of self then. Brett is returned to his own sense of human vulnerability, which is his responsibility for Aleks’ life, and it’s a responsibility he’s privileged to have.

Brett is not optimistic. He is not full of hope.

Right now, and forever more, Brett is sure. Brett is steady.

Aleks is his partner. Aleks is his lover, his very best friend, and his heart.

The only thing Brett can promise Aleks now is him.

Brett has looked at Aleks with longing this entire time and it doesn’t stop as he turns on the bed to sit at the edge closest to Aleks. He reaches out his hands to take both of Aleks’, and in doing so, he takes Aleks’ life back into his control.

“I’ve been in love with you since the beginning of October,” he speaks quietly. “You were showing me our reservation, and you were so excited.” Brett cracks a smile before biting his lip. “I looked over to you, and I saw this twinkle in your eye and… I wanted that. I wanted to make that my mission, to do everything I can to make that happen over and over again, because you’re all that matters to me, Aleks,” he assures. “You and your happiness, that’s so special to me. And more than that, you’re everything to me,” Brett chuckles in amazement. “You’re my _ moon _. And my sun, and my stars, and my daytime, my nighttime, you’re what makes my entire fucking world and…” Brett pauses to take a breath, but also to look Aleks over.

He seems calmer now. He’s even looking at Brett the same longing way.

“Aleks,” Brett says, “without you, there’s nothing. The night you told me that you loved me, and you took it back, that’s why I was so upset. But it’s why I never confronted you about it, because I was scared too. I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same or you just weren’t as confident as I was about us, but I should’ve told you and that’s on me. I shouldn’t have waited around. But we were both scared, Aleks.” He squeezes Aleks’ hands. “And it’s okay to be scared. Relationships are a lot, but we can work through it together.”

“I-I didn’t think I loved you like that at the time,” Aleks reasons. “I, I-I actually thought I said it in the heat of the moment but like, right after, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I was thinking back on all of my interactions with you and why I was suddenly feeling a different way, and that day I came home from from Boston to see you decorating the whole house for Christmas, for _ me, _ that’s when it finally clicked…” He looks away again. “Then we argued,” he says in almost a mumble. “And I got scared. It’s like I said, it reminded me of the bad stuff in relationships too. When we were just on the fence between fucking around and being serious, it didn’t happen. I don’t wanna lose you, Brett. I didn’t want any chance of that-”

“Aleks, I thought I lost you when you said you wanted to take it slow,” Brett tells him. “It made me think you were giving up-”

“I fucking love you, Brett,” Aleks whines. “I’m so fucking in love with you. I’ll never give up on us.” 

And just like that, they had finally told the other how they felt. Truly and officially, Aleks and Brett were, and are, in love with each other.

They will never be confused again about how the other feels.

A smile slowly lifts up Brett’s lips, all the way until he’s positively beaming at Aleks. His eyes are bright, his smile is brighter, and with a happy little laugh, he says, “I love you too.” He lets go of Aleks’ hands and holds open his arms. “I love you so fucking much.”

Aleks instantly clamors onto Brett’s lap to wrap his arms around him in a tight hug and Brett is quickly reciprocating with a tight one of his one. He has one hand lifted up to cradle Aleks’ head, and Aleks has one hand doing the same to Brett.

“I love you, Brett,” Aleks tells him once more. “I love you,_ I love you.” _

“I love you too, Aleks,” Brett says. “I love you,_ I love you.” _

They stay like this for a few moments to appreciate the fact that they’re back in each other’s lives better than ever. To cling to each other in a way they haven’t been able to do in so long helps to soothe that aching burn that came from being without each other. It was so cold before, not of ice or of snow, but of the certain kind of loneliness that comes from sharing a space with somebody who was once so close to you, who is now a stranger.

Through the whole month, they weren’t strangers, but they were far away enough from each other that it holds the same feelings.

When they pull away, they only do so to look each other in the eyes, and that’s only brief, because soon, their lips are coming together - slow and passionate, because they have all the time in the world right now. This can go on indefinitely, twisting like the figure eight of infinity, as their lips continue to hotly press together, and it’s not for the sexuality, but rather for the closeness, the _ sensuality _of being with your one and forever only.

They have to make up for a lot of lost time. All these times they could’ve been saying _ ”I love you” _ and they’re only now realizing it.

But true love doesn’t have a time limit, does it? Time doesn’t have to be a thing at all if they decide not to let it. They can simply let it be a construct, and a meaningless construct it shall be.

Their tongues are exploring each other’s mouths like they’re back in that hotel room in Austin. It’s born out of desperation to remember the layout of the other’s mouth again, despite everything now that tells them they’ll finally be together as one, for always and eternity. It’s hard to pinpoint how long they’ve been kissing, but time has finally ceased to be a construct for them, not just in the perfect moments, but for all.

Eventually, it has to end, but the way their lips drag away from each other is an unspoken promise that they’ll be right back at it after more pressing issues are dealt with.

“I have your Christmas gift with me,” Brett says as he pulls away to look Aleks in the eyes. “Well, one of them,” he chuckles. “Want me to get it?”

“Oh, actually, I have yours with me too.” Aleks climbs off his lap and runs a hand back through his hair before he scurries over to his luggage. “Yeah, we deserve an early Christmas.”

“Fuck, dude, I’m not gonna say no to early presents!” Brett quickly comes on over to his luggage as well.

“Christmas isn’t about presents, _ bro _. It’s about the people you love.”

“I can be excited about presents _ and _ be excited about you.”

“Are you saying you love me?”

Brett looks up to Aleks right as he retrieves his wrapped present, and he just grins when he sees Aleks’ grinning face right back.

“I love you,” Aleks tells him rather innocently.

Brett snorts. “I love you too.”

It’ll never get old, they both think.

Brett nods his head towards the bed. “C’mon, let’s open.”

They both plop onto the bed at opposite sides to give the other ample room to open the presents. At the same time, they both completely trash the wrapping paper.

Aleks looks down to the gift Brett got him, and then back to Brett’s.

Brett does the same.

They both begin to laugh at the same time.

“Bro,” Aleks starts, “we…”

* * *

**December 23rd, 2019**

“... we got each other the same thing.” Brett smiles and looks back to his boyfriend. “We both got each other a picture of the two of us at Universal Studios together, put into frames that are worth a lot more than Cow Chop at this moment.”

The only difference were in the frames. The frame Aleks had gifted to Brett is dark gold and emboldened with brighter gold stars all around, whereas the frame Brett had gifted to Aleks is silver and emboldened with brighter moons all around.

Both of the frames are sitting in their bedroom right next to each other. It’s the last thing that isn’t Brett’s face that Aleks looks at when he goes to sleep.

Aleks purses his lips over to the side before he looks to his boyfriend. “That’s a pretty sick story.”

“Almost like it’s based on a true story,” Brett chuckles.

Aleks huffs through his nose and then looks off towards the warehouse. They’re not getting rid of everything just yet - they still have the warehouse until April, but they’re getting the things they don’t need and will never need again out of the way first.

Even with the retelling of how they got together, he still feels like something is missing. When he looks at everything, all he sees is the debris of broken dreams.

Brett notices this.

Brett frowns as he wraps an arm around Aleks’ shoulder and then he leans in to leave a lingering kiss to the top of his head.

Aleks closes his eyes and rests his head onto Brett’s shoulder.

He feels a bit better already.

“I don’t have regrets, Aleks,” Brett says. “I don’t have _ if only’s. _ I don’t, for one second, wish anything had been different. Because at the end of the day, I got you out of all of this. And as long as I have you, I don’t care about the details.” He looks down to Aleks’ resting head. “I don’t care about all the people that have left. I don’t care about the friends I’ve lost-”

“You lost like, one friend,” Aleks brings up. “Who was a Trumpie anyways.”

Brett snorts. “Yeah, along with a whooole slew of other things. But even knowing him, I’d do it all again for you in a heartbeat.”

“You’re everything to me, Brett,” Aleks says quietly. “I just want to do everything I can for you, everything and then some, but…” He frowns and crosses his arms over his chest. “I still feel like I let you down,” his voice cracks at the last word and his eyes heat.

Brett’s gaze turns aghast and he brings his hands to Aleks’ face to cup his cheeks and gently coax Aleks to look up at him. “Aleks, babe, you could never_ let me down.” _ He shakes his head. “There is nothing in this world you could possibly do to make me feel like you let me down. I know you too well, Aleks. I know too well what you put into everything. You push yourself with every project to the best it possibly can be, and that’s what Cow Chop was: the best it could possibly be.”

Aleks blinks up to Brett with wet eyes. “You mean it?”

Brett smiles. “Our final year was amazing,” he whispers. “It never would have been possible without you.”

Aleks nods and brings up his hands to hold onto Brett’s. “Yeah, alright.” He nods again. “It’s just… man, this was such a big part of our lives,” he chuckles bitterly. “So many things have happened to us, with us, since it started, and now it’s ending and-”

“Hey, you’re allowed to be sad. Fuck, I’m sad,” Brett chuckles and wipes away one of Aleks’ tears with his thumb. “It’s the end of something that brought us both so much. It brought me you, it brought you to LA, and it did bring us some new friends…” He tries to search Aleks’ eyes. “But especially_ you. _ You’re my entire world, Aleks. This may be the end of Cow Chop, but it’s just the beginning of us. This is our prologue.” Brett then pauses and licks his lips before dropping his voice to a softer pitch.

“I’m ready to start filling these pages with our own story.”

_ Our own story. _

Aleks really likes the sound of that.

He and Brett no longer have any YouTube obligations. They have Aleks’ regular streaming and Brett’s planned Muscle Club, but now they do it with the other in mind.

They can do whatever they set their minds to now. They can set forth on new projects and make plans for their future together. They’re already moving to a new home, a bigger home, which means more space for additional people or additional animals, just anything they want, really.

There’s so much in life that Aleks and Brett have yet to do, and so much of it that they can do with each other.

The end of Cow Chop will be a good thing after awhile.

“Well…” Aleks blinks to one of his hands. “I guess I _ am _ expecting a ring at some point.”

Brett smirks as he removes his hands from Aleks’ face. “Weeell, I don’t think you’re too far off about that.”

“... what?”

Brett just continues to smirk at Aleks before suddenly, he’s standing up and casually walking away.

Aleks watches him go. His eyes dart back and forth quickly before he stands up on his feet. “Uh, Brett?”

Brett keeps walking.

Aleks narrows his eyes at his boyfriend, but he grins despite himself. “Brett?” He walks after him.

Brett picks up pace.

“Brett!”

Brett walks faster.

“BRETT!”

Brett is running.

“COME ON, DUDE, IT’D BE WEIRD IF WE PROPOSED AT THE SAME TIME.”

It’s officially over.

Cow Chop is no more.

But there are still many things to look forward to in 2020, after they head off on their annual getaway to Colorado, of course.

Again, there’s Muscle Club. It’s a project Brett has spent much of his time investing into, and much like Aleks, he too puts his all into his work.

There’s Aleks’ twitch streams, a constant in life.

James streams also, and who knows! He and Aleks might bump into each other again. They might even start talking again. 

Maybe Aleks will decide to cut Garrett some slack and at least kiss him on the cheek.

No matter what though, 2020 will be a great year, just as long as there are no sudden deadly viruses to plague the entirety of the planet and put a halt to the world’s motion.

So Cow Chop has ended.

As for Brett and Aleks?

Brett Hundley and Aleks Marchant are forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is officially the end and I want to thank everybody who has continued reading after the original fic. I know the sequel is more of a thing for people who are more invested in HundarHD, so I wasn’t expecting too much attention for it. I just wanted to get it out there and I wanted them to have a happy ending.
> 
> I have some plans for future fics, that is, when my life stops being so busy. I have a Geoff/Gavin fic being outlined still, and I really want to do a short multi chapter fic with Geoff/Aleks. Either way, I won’t be writing anymore HundarHD or Cow Chop specific fanfiction. It was fun while it lasted - there were good times, there were bad times. But the fanfiction community has always been kind and I thank all of you!
> 
> Thank you all again for reading. I appreciate all of you. Please take care of yourselves.


End file.
